#snk erwin x you

[riewritten]

22 FOR ALL THAT'S DEPRIVED

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

this chapter is nothing but smut. proceed with caution. if anything, there's nothing plot relevant so you can just skip it.

You don’t even need to beg but he was disgustingly gratified hearing that. He grabbed your hips and ushered you up so he could carry you all the way and you clung to him just well; your thigh wrapped around him and your arms hugging his neck tightly. He ended up throwing you on the bed quite harshly that he seemed to be taken aback himself. You released a laugh as he quickly leaned his weight on you, cupped your head with both hands, and muttered soft apologies, "How rare it is to see you lose your cool." You bantered.

"You have no idea how patient I am being until now." Erwin chuckled, slightly ashamed. His tone became serious as he tapped on your clothes. "Take this off." So you did, albeit in a rush. His voice sounded like an order and you’re secretly drawn to it even if you don’t like being commanded on a daily basis. He might also flaunt his existing patience but you don't have any of it left in you. You unclasped your bra along the way then urgently raised his shirt up to make this faster. He followed suit with amusement, and the sight of his bare body made you shiver. He looks like a sculpture. "How rare it is to see you lose your cool," He shot back.

"Savor what you did to me, Commander." You muttered in annoyance as you attempted to remove his pants. He helped you through it. Leaving his boxers alone, he gave you a sweet smile as if taking pride in what you just said then pushed you down for a messy kiss again. You let out a breathy moan as soon as his fingers brushed on your now hardened nipples. Placed wet kisses on your neck down until he reached your chest, gave a peck on your sternum, and glided his tongue on your left tit while playing with the other one.

He was successful, really. You've barely even started yet your subtle hums are overflowing already just like how he wanted. For you, however, it was quite frustrating. You were never this sensitive towards your previous partners. Even if it's quite a given since you never established emotional attachment towards them, you only did this kind of thing because you heard how it could satiate emptiness temporarily. Needless to say, it wasn't effective, and what you're doing right now is way far from that agenda. Now you realize why you're overly and easily flustered with this matter when Erwin's in the picture.

He noticed you're trying to tone it down so kept up with it. With your nipple popping out of his mouth, he slid his hand inside your shorts towards your clothed core, he released a pleased hum upon feeling how wet it was already. It went on for a while until you got desperate to hump yourself with his digits, "Finally not shy now?" He cooed, rubbing it in teasing motions.

"Erwin," You moaned, cupping his cheek messily. Your body is finally getting something deprived of it for very, very long, and you're not in the mood to tease around. "I've been– I–" He encouraged you to say more by showering your chest with wet kisses, "I've been waiting for a lifetime. Please–" His eyes were shot open at the remark so you pressed further. "–you are too, right? So could you please take me now? Hm?" Right, you are. His mind throbbed in satisfaction. His cold fingers slid to your core swiftly, gently, and maintained the motion for a while; eager to give you whatever you want if not more.

Out of all the years he's lived this life, this was one moment he felt genuinely happy he existed again. And you deserve everything for making him feel like that.

All of a sudden, he withdrew his fingers from your heat and you looked down in confusion. But then he quickly, and almost harshly, dragged down all the garments left in your body. You're now bare before him but unlike earlier, you're not in any way shy. You want to receive everything he’s willing to give. With a pleading look, you weakly asked him to come back to his work. Erwin slowly crawled above you again; tapping his finger on your clit, "How do you want me to do this tonight?" Even if it sounded playful in some way, it was a genuine question.

Assuming he's messing around, you whined in frustration. "Seriously, I want to be fucked dumb tonight. Don't make me point out obvious things, Erwin." It made him laugh. He leaned in to kiss your forehead and inserted his middle finger inside, "No, it was an honest question. I want to make this good for you."

"But you make everything feel good," You murmured, relishing the feeling of being stretched inside. His digits were broad after all.

You urged him to go on, hence he continuously motioned hither inside you while his thumb skillfully played around your clit. Relishing the pleasure and willing to welcome more, you played on your nipples messily. When the slicking sounds became louder he inserted the second one and rolled the digits in circular motions. Apart from how good he’s doing you, he’s actually quite nervous himself. Perhaps he might do it too hard, or you might’ve experienced something way better before, and all sorts of reluctance. But your reactions – voice quivering, hips stuttering, your back arching – filled him with such a warm, trembling feeling and he was immensely drunk to it. 

After a while, he stopped, knelt up, and looked at the sinful mess he's made out of you with. It’s needless to say that you were down for good. The sight was glorious for him, utterly. When you thought he was about to finally let himself bare, he held on to your hips instead and raised that up to push it towards you. As he leaned down, he wrapped your legs on his shoulders and settled himself in between your legs. 

Delving his tongue into you and tasting your wetness, he let out a gratified grunt. He brought back his wonders with his fingers as he lapped you up all the while maintaining eye contact; eager to see how you’d take him as he ravished you the way he imagined it. Your hands messily gripped everything – his pillows, mattress, even your hair – and eventually tightened your legs around him to buck on his tongue.

As he felt your walls fluttering around his fingers and your release hanging on the precipice, his motion sped up while his spare hand rested on your abdomen. “That’s it– hah, please don’t stop–” You stuttered, your moans in crescendo; and he hummed through it just well, encouraging you to come. Not too long after, you grabbed onto his head to bury him below, making him breathe momentarily the least of your concerns. With your back arching and muttering helpless mewls of his name, you came undone.

He rode through your orgasm, continuously lapping on you until you tapped on his head, “Too much, ‘s too much. Please, ‘Win,” You cried. You heard him chuckle before letting go; nibbling on your inner thigh for a moment with a smug look on his face as if to say I did that. Only I could. When he knelt back again he let out a satisfied sigh, wiped up his face coated with your fluid, and sucked on the fingers he just used to ravage you. He licked it clean, deliberately swirling his tongue for you to see. Despite the crippling fluster, you weren't able to look away, you're rather getting wet over it instead.

His fingers left his mouth with a soft pop, “Tastes good," He husked.

The embarrassment came back to you but you’re still aching to have more. “Come here,” You pleaded and he immediately complied, cupping your face gently as he did. When you thought he was going for a kiss, he tapped his digits on your mouth instead, “Open.” He sternly ordered, and you did very willingly. He pushed his index and middle fingers past your mouth and you welcomed it by sucking on them, appeased by what he just did to you. You almost choked on it as he thrust his fingers full on your throat. Still, you hollow your cheeks on it, licking every spot fervently and humming with pleasure to rile him up. “That's right," He purred. "Such a good girl for me.” Then suddenly replaced his fingers with his tongue, relishing your mouth and eager to prove to you how good you really tasted.

When he withdrew from the messy lip play, you blurted out, “Can you praise me again?”

You quickly realized what you just said and how you said it. What was that? You almost laughed at yourself.

Erwin raised his brows and snickered, “Am I not praising you enough?” He peppered your face with kisses as you stayed silent, holding a squeal of shame. He paused to check on your face and when he saw how embarrassed you are, he laughed. “Getting shy again, hm? Talk to me, pretty girl.”

“Don’t know where it came from. My mind’s in shambles. Thank you for fucking me dumb tonight.”

“But I’m not doing that yet,” He let it out very endearingly but his eyes were laced with mischievous glint. His finger flicked on your clit again, “This won’t be settled with this, don’t you think? You’ve waited more than a lifetime, after all.” Such a menacing smile and so you realized: Right, I might be knocked unconscious tonight. He motioned his digits in circular motions.

“I, uh–“ You rasped, urged to give in again. To lessen your stuttering, you gripped his shoulders instead. "I actually said that out of a whim. I never got this sensitive over someone before." You let out a breathy sigh, "My body’s reacting to you differently, Erwin. Am I the only one who feels like this?”

“No,” He landed a wet kiss on your neck, sucked on it, and released it like a pop. That would indeed mark. “But I don't just feel like it, and I believe I waited longer."

You were relieved, “Since when?”

“Since I brought you to the house. The one your brother left.” He abruptly inserted his finger inside your cunt then rolled it inside, “–that smile.”

“Fuck, god–” You shuddered, “T–that long?”

“Yeah, that long. I’m just a jerk.”

“Better late than never but if you’re not doing that yet, then please do so. Like, now.”

His heart swelled. This was more than enough, indeed. Both of you are not time-deprived to explore this intimacy. You have all the time you need; no excruciating dilemmas could break you off, no predicament perceived as a threat, and anguish that is way easier to handle. He removed his digit inside and then made his way to remove the garment left in him, “You’re shifting from ashamed to blunt, pretty thing. Choose one.”

“I really am choosing to be blunt. I just get hit by it from time to time.” You sat up to help him, "But okay, to project the boldness again–" You were cut off when he laughed loudly. Shooting him a glare you exclaimed, "Shut up!"

Erwin, despite the struggle to tone down, doesn't want you to feel shy for the rest of the night, "Okay, continue." 

You dragged his boxers down impatiently and whined, “I want your dick inside me. Frantically ruin me until I knock out. Please.” He was taken aback, he'll give you that, yet it was completely effective. His arousal spiked up way more than earlier.

When he finally got rid of his garment and his protuberance was completely shown before you, you started to doubt if you actually said the right thing. That would really ruin me. Sensing your reluctance just well, he gently laid you down again and raised your legs so he could line himself up, “You’re not just blunt, you’re getting braver as well. But now that you told me to ruin you, why do you look like hesitating instead?” He taunted, sliding his dick up and down your wetness.

Heat pooled in your lower back, “I’m not. I–” You thrust up to have more friction, “I trust you. You’ll do me well, right?”

“I will,” He concurred sweetly and motioned nearer to you. Cupping your cheeks, he whispered. “Breathe deeply, love.” So you did, and he slowly pushed himself in. Gently, inch by inch, studying your face all throughout. You were whimpering in pain, closing your eyes tight upon feeling the sharp sting, and he’s peppering you with gentle kisses for comfort.

He’s not bottomed out yet you’re already close to crying. Still, you tried. You don’t want to stop. You don’t want him to feel like he’s doing badly. You don’t want to– 

 “‘S okay, ‘s okay. Relax.” He cut your rampant thoughts off with his coos, “I’ll make it fit. Just keep on breathing deeply, okay?”

You clung to his shoulder, letting out your mewls, “I’m sorry, I… don’t want you to think we should stop–”

“We won’t.” He nuzzled his lips through your hair, “Unless you tell me so– ah, that’s it, you’re doing great.” He sighed, completely sunk down inside you. He let you get used to the feeling first, just looking at you tenderly without moving. His thumb circled on your clit again to make the process bearable, and eventually, pleasurable. After a while, you opened your eyes again with a smile and small thanks, “Please move.”

Erwin did and he muttered little curses under his breath. You’re tightly squeezing on him and he had to grip his free hand on the mattress to have a sense of control. He was quite overwhelmed. Your scent, tiny sighs, the look of affection, and the way you’re being gorgeously considerate of him – he’s on the precipice of losing control, one more sensation then he’ll admit that both of you will be staying on this bed forever. He tried to speak little praises and comfort to you instead so he could distract himself but you started bucking your hips up.

Fuck.

His train of thought was utterly shaken that he only managed to let out strained hisses. Noting his sounds of pleasure, you reached his ear; sucking, nibbling, licking around, and he almost lost it. He needs to take you slowly but he’s losing it. Erwin almost laughed at himself. “Am I doing great?” You asked as you finally earned a steady pace in rocking and thrusting. When he wasn’t able to answer, you withdrew your mouth to his ear, turned up to him, and cupped his cheeks, “Am I?” You repeated, searching for reactions.

Erwin mentally shook his head, finally admitting defeat to his sense of control and the tightening of his muscles. He gripped your hips and thrust hard, making you suck in a sharp breath. “Doing so well,” He lowly grunted then set the pace unrelentingly fast, almost lacking mercy. “–my prettiest soldier.” His digits played harsher on your clit.

That’s it, 

That’s it. 

You let out drawn-out moans and silly whispers. When the pleasure blurred your thoughts to even mind shame, you brought his head to your breast, urging him to trace his tongue on it. He sucked on it with pleasure, and the thumb that was swirling on your clit slid to the other nipple instead. Your instincts are drumming in your ears as his rhythm picks up. The way he’s massaging your inner walls with every thrust of his dick and the lewd slapping sounds of skin that comes along was making your head dissolve into oblivion.

Erwin was so immersed in it that he looked down to see the tainted mess himself. He grabbed your hand and landed it on your lower stomach, “Feel that?” He drawled as he continued pounding. You felt his cock marking it whenever he pushed inside. And as your mind was too fuzzy to even answer, you nodded relentlessly. “Is this what you waited for? Hm? Tell me, love.” He taunted, enjoying every bit of you getting too dumbed out to answer.

As he felt himself reaching his peak, he pressed on your lower stomach to urge the coil in you to come out. And there it comes, you’re clenching harder than ever, thrashing around his length.

"Fuck, yeah. Look at you, taking it in so– nicely." He was getting delirious, too, whispering sweet nothings; how good this is, how tight you are, how he's finally having all of you for himself. Your sounds are getting more and more obscene too, moaning a mixture of curse words and his name that he can't help but indulge himself through and give you more.

He lurches, continuously pounding and pounding until you’re trembling, milking on him for what he’s worth. He eventually pulled out, shooting his seed into your abdomen.

Then he dropped down. Fucked out. Leaning his weight into you with a sigh. He was too heavy that it could almost be classified as crushing you into pulp. The position went on for a while and instead of asking him to let you breathe, you start laughing at the sudden memory instead.

“Why?” He asked, his voice hushed and raspy. He’s nuzzled in your neck now, mindlessly nibbling on it.

“Isabel told me this before,” You giggled, “That you could crush me into pulp if you wanted to. I told her I don’t think you’d want that but here you are.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He slightly got up and leaned on his elbows for support instead. “But why would she say that?”

“Because your build was intimidating,”

“Ah, that.” Isabel had told him that for an unhealthy number of times already. He scooted to lie down beside you, then brought your body to his embrace, “Were you intimidated as well?”

“I’m too engrossed getting scared at your presence to mind how huge you are.” You pondered, “But now I realized it was actually a good thing. I’d even thank you if you cracked my head with your muscles now.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m not kidding. Want me to tell you more?”

“No.” He was holding a laugh.

“But it’s hot–”

“Stop.” 

“Actually it goes like thi–” He silenced you with a kiss and you chuckled through it. It went on for a while until he’s sure you're really shutting up. He nestled you further to him and both of you were silent for a while. “I was about to suggest we wash up but I kind of want to keep going.”

You were actually about to say that and his remark made you more courageous so you blurted out, “Can I ride you?” He stopped in his tracks wide-eyed then turned to you to see if you were actually kidding around but your face was dead serious. He ended up laughing in defeat. Just like that and he’s aroused again.

“Have I said it too weird?”

“No, but why would you want that?”

You ignored his question, “So is it okay or not?”

“Of course, but I’m quite curiou–” You cut him off by getting up and sitting on his abdomen, “Sit down.” You beckoned him through your fingers.

The sight of you channeling dominance was completely amusing to him, to say the least, so he ticked his eyebrows and followed suit, “What do you want to do?”

“Revenge.” Erwin almost snorted at that but you cut him off with a sloppy kiss. 

It’s now quite gentler than earlier and even if he wants to crush you down the bed again, he let you have it your way this time. Erwin can feel your wetness dripping on him, and you can feel his hard-on standing on your back. You released a breathy sigh, trying to rub your slickness on him. To make the position comfortable, he withdrew from the kiss and moved backward, “I may not know what you’re avenging for but my pretty girl can get whatever she wants.” He leaned against the headboard, “Show me how it’s done.”

“It’s for always–” You lined him up to your entrance, “–ordering me around.” Then bounced down on him abruptly, swallowing him in warmth. He bites back a moan and you got your pretty little noises as well, very much satisfied with how he’s stretching you full again. You tried to gauge his reactions at first, languidly riding him down, rolling your hips in experimental paces, and relishing how he looked at you – lidded, flushed, with a small smirk.

In the middle of it, however, something daunted you; you don't have much experience with this. He seemed to have lots given how well he did you earlier but you don’t. Erwin sensed the jittery so he grabbed your figure much nearer to him, “Why?”

You gave him a sheepish chuckle, “My confidence slipped away,” When you thought he’d laugh at it like earlier, his face immediately softened and gave you an understanding hum instead, “What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“I’m just not used to doing this thing passionately,” Regardless, you continued rhythmic bucks – taking him in and out, gripping in his shoulders, holding back whimpers. Tremors of pleasure teemed Erwin's body, all of it getting too good to handle, “B-but I want to take care of you as well– that kind of thing.” You added.

“But you’re doing it so well,” He doted, slowly nuzzling his lips on the sides of your face, nibbling your ears, patching up your neck with more bites as if to flaunt how he’s taken you for his own. He really can’t get enough, and the way you’re telling him so adorably how you want to be good for him satisfied a darker side of his psyche. He gripped your hips very tightly, intentionally having it to mark, and jerked his hips upwards to help you take him.

All his reluctance about not meeting your desires disappeared to shreds as he remembered; you’re here, on your own accord, even after seeing that. If you would go to him keeping in mind all the deplorable sins he had done then you had given yourself over. Still drawn, bound together, and pleasures to be consumed by him. Mine. it throbbed in his head, repeatedly so, for he was very gratified.

He headily reached for your face, brought your lips into his, and relished the realization desperately; hoping you’d realize it as well. As the swirls of your tongues slipped your minds towards oblivion, his thrusts became more unrestrained and feral. He needed to feel more, needed to hear more.

He called your name, “Louder. Have everyone hear how well I'm taking you.” He growled sternly. So you did, not like you have any choice. It feels too good and you’re disgustingly drunk on the slick sounds of your heat as you ride him down. “Good girl, yeah, just like that.”

After a while of letting your bodies do the act for yourselves – what was yearned from the things left undone – you’re coming again. And his drawn-out moans, grunts, and words of praises told you he’s the same. He mercilessly rutted, fucked up your cunt, until your walls fluttered around his cock for the second time. As you reached your climax, he abruptly got himself out of you and came again. His seed was all over you: stomach, chest, some of it was even shot to your face. He let out a dark chuckle at the sight. He was able to savor you completely. Now you lay in front of him, being the utterly divine art that you are. Completely messed up. By him. Alone. Nobody else could. In this world and even beyond.

You gave him a shy, tired yet satisfied smile and he slid his fingers to your face to wipe it himself.

“That was so good.” He whispered, your foreheads bumping.

“Took you so well, didn’t I?” You gave him a cheeky grin.

“Very much so.” He kissed your forehead and ushered you up, “Let’s wash up and change the sheets.”

“Aren’t you tired?” You whined and laid down on the bed. Of course, you wanted to clean up, but you came three times and you’re minutes away from sleeping the night.

“I could still go on if we stay tied there, uncleaned.” He sat up on the corner of the bed and massaged your sore limbs. He glided his fingers on the marks, guilty for making it too hard, “Sorry.” He scooted and gave it a peck.

You showed him your neck, full of his bites, “This,” Then examined your chest only to see another one on the side of your left breast, “When was this?” You glared at it. Then pointed to the one he’s holding on to your hips, “And this.” You ruffled his hair. “This was decades worth of pining. All because some commander decided to be a full-on jerk.”

He smiled wistfully, “I know.”

“So I feel like the me in that world is insanely happy. I am, too.” You smiled at him, “Finally.”

He remained in his position for a while just looking at you in the eyes. It was quite a sad one, almost mournful, but you maintained the tender look on your face. After a while, he slid his hand to cup your cheek with his thumb playing on it, “Are you up for another round?” He smiled endearingly.

“What the heck is up with your stamina?” You scoffed but still tried to assess whether you could or not. Maybe you could, it’s Erwin after all.

“I’m just kidding.” He pinched your cheek and then stood up. “Let’s clean up. My room smells too good right now. One more sniff and we'll stay on this bed making love until we die.”

“Your room should get used to it.” You replied, realizing you’re actually feeling sore and it’s quite difficult to stand now. Erwin knew it so he spent time fixing your baths first.

Carrying you there himself, he replied, “Yeah. You should get used to it too.”

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this is my first time writing a steamy scene so i legit need your feedback on this. the reason i made this ff was to exercise my writing after all dksjkjdks

[seredelgi]

no bc I get so fucking pissed at how hot he is like... what's the point?

[parkvcrs]

levi “my friends think i like to fight, but it's just not true. sometimes i lose my temper and blow off a little steam, but i’ve never enjoyed it. i’m not a violent dog. i don't know why i bite” ackerman

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

✧.* erwin smith wedding headcanons ✧.*

absolutely wanted a big grand wedding, friends, family, colleagues and all invited

wanted to do things the ‘right’ way, all parts of the wedding including rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, vows, etc

would absolutely wear his scout commander uniform :’) (if picturing modern AU, an absolute classic, fancy, timeless simple black tux)

despite being extremely stressed on the days following up to the wedding, the wedding day itself was an actual big relief for him

vows to love you for eternity & beyond

doesn’t really drink much, instead focuses on making sure everybody else has enough to eat/drink

holds you firmly during the first dance, his grip letting you know he’ll never leave you alone

would never participate in the trend of smashing the brides face in the cake, however would dab a bit of frosting on your nose (he has a napkin ready to clean it up)

his boutonnière is a white carnation with a short stem of eucalyptus

his wedding band is plain silver. he doesn’t need to be sporting an extremely fancy ring to show that he adores you

is cheerful the entire wedding, just happy to have been a lucky enough man to have married you with all of your closest confidants

100% rents a limo & a hotel room to rest and recover from all the drinking & socialization (what were you thinking you perverts)

from the hotel room the next day, you would leave for your honey moon, an elaborate yet simple week tailored just to everything you wanted

he knows you, he really knows every single part of you.

for @goddessinsweats <3

[celestialghostwrites]

maybe you didn't even think you wanted kids in the first place and now you have one. or you already have many. it doesn't matter. all that matters is: your husband might want another. might - as though he hasn't been thinking about it for a while now. he could just come out and say it, he's usually not shy about open conversations, but where would be the fun in that? and maybe it's also true that he's feeling a bit sheepish, deep down.

very deep down.

he thinks he's sly, when he slowly moves to stand behind you in the bathroom his arms enveloping your waist as you face the mirror, your gazes meeting in the reflection. "i miss when you were pregnant," he murmurs, his voice a quiet, wistful admission.

there's a subtle arch to your brow as you regard him. the morning light filters through the window, casting a soft glow upon your figures. "that so?" your voice carries a trace of playful incredulity.

"well, maybe not the morning sickness" his hands move slowly but with intent, his lips find your shoulder. "but other things,"

he did miss having a baby around, but that's not quite what it was on his mind. his thoughts wander: your swollen frame, enlarged breasts, the way your pussy somehow became even prettier when he went down on you.

through the mirror, you can see how his gaze becomes hazy, the way he subtly licks his lips.

"oh, you're in a mood, i see." you chide playfully, tilting your head which only grants him better access to your neck.

a smile tugs at his lips, and he presses yet another soft lingering kiss to the crook of your neck, his hands venture to your stomach, idly hiking up the fabric of your nightgown. "maybe," he mumbles failing to sound noncommitted, his breath hot against your skin.

it doesn't take along. he's all soft and purposeful, his movements languid but intense, burring himself deep with every slow thrust, savoring it. "one more… please?" it's so rare to hear him plead or beg, but oh does it feel like such a treat when he does, especially when he's doing it when he's got you bent over the counter, hovering over you, one arm hooked around your waist his fingers rubbing your core as his hips move with a gentle insistence: he's in control, yet he's also the one doing the pleading in a hoarse voice like he simply can't help himself.

[anlian-aishang]

SNK Men - Masturbation Habits - Levi, Erwin, Eren, Armin, Jean, Reiner, Zeke [nsfw]

Levi

Masturbates in the shower. Levi deems it as a way to save time, to keep his sheets and clothes from getting too dirty. He hates to admit it, but something about sex makes him sweat easily. Even more shameful, he is weak to the flow of scalding water on his skin and the way it melts his reserves, inhibitions down the drain. The echo of tile walls amplifies the smacks of his hand around his cock, making it easier to imagine it's your pussy around him instead. Feigning the priority of cleanliness, he grants himself an excuse to be filthy. Levi sees masturbation as a last resort, something to rely on when he can’t have the real thing. As such, when by himself, he finishes fast. Three minutes of ferocity, white-knuckle holds of the shower bar and his erection. Toes curl tight against slippery tile. Soap trickles down his bangs and into his eyes. Squeezing them shut, he relies on imagined scenes to get him there. Strives to stay silent, but especially when it's been too long, not even Ackerman can prevent the grunts and swears from escaping. At the sound of his own succumbing, his ears, cheeks, chest flush red. On comedown, he deliberately jerks the metal handle to cold with hopes that, by the time he steps out and sees the mirror’s reflection, his fucked-out state will not stare him back.

Erwin

Gets off at his desk. It’s always the end of the quarter that his sex drive surges. Though it’s inconvenient at best and incapacitating at worst, he has come to understand why. A cruel chain reaction: work piles up, his mind multitasks to its bitter end, and at that end is a pure, carnal desire for reprieve. His signature grows illegible with the way his hand is shaking. He is making mistakes and making them in ink. Erwin clenched his fist, nails dug into his palm, but neither his erection nor filthy thoughts will die down. His hand is big, but his cock is bigger. The ratio aids his fantasy, trying to pretend it's your grasp wrapped around him instead. Erwin pumps himself a couple palms full of the lotion that others find so innocuously stored on top of his desk, lays a path of tissues on the pad of his office chair, and shuts his blinds as well as his eyes. Left hand works his member tight from tip to base. Right hand undoes his top button and hooks itself on the loop of his tie, allowing his breaths to deepen, and they do. Erwin growls through it. After this many successive nights of overtime, he deserves these minutes of release from those reins. Squeezing so hard that the veins in his biceps rise. Exhales harsh, fogging the oak of his desk top. Toes curl in his leather shoes. Words fail him as he climaxes to the thought of you barging in on him - loud grunts and moans of your name all the man can muster. 

Eren

Lays back on the sofa. Unspeakable yearnings have brought him to this point. It was not only that he was unable to make it to the privacy of his bedroom. More accurately, Eren was so caught up in his fantasy that he couldn't care less if he were walked-in on. Lying on his back, his right hand slithers beneath the hem of his shirt and hikes it to his teeth. Abdomen exposed to less stifling air. At the same time, his left hand handles his belt, button, zipper before tugging his waistband to rest at his upper thighs.  Eren leans his head back over the armrest, airway straightened, low yet loud vocals fill the room. Running his fingers through his hair, his elastic band snaps and lets his locks flow freely. Even with his eyes closed, his thumb lands right atop the lotion bottle - an old habit - and pumps a couple ounces into his hand. The unexpected cold draws a few hisses and curses, but before long, the fierce friction of his hand has converted it: hot like the rest of him. Even though he is reclined back, Eren is an active masturbator. His left hand has one job, one primary motion, but his right hand plays himself. Palm over his chest, fingertips pinching his jawline. Legs squirm, heels jut - all threatening to rip the leather couch. Instead of damaging the space around him, he takes that tension out on himself: cock sore, nipples bruised, scratches on his abdomen - but nothing that his sweatshirts can’t hide.

Armin

Shuts himself in his closet. An unexpectedly experienced masturbator, yet the shame Armin feels is disproportionately tremendous. Not even his bedroom is private enough, Arlert retreats to his locked closet, barely large enough to fit his clothes, let alone him. The blonde leans back against his wooden, creaky dresser and props his feet on the opposite wall. On the way to grab himself, his arm twitches: do you really need this? He tilts his head back and sighs: yes, you do.  Armin dips his fingers into his mouth and pretends that they’re yours. Sucks them deliberately as he aims to keep quiet. As his tugs grow tighter, fuller, that sucking becomes sloppy, though. Overstimulated cries demand his lips fall from a circle to a helpless part. His breaths are brisk on his skin, covered in his own saliva. Soon enough, his tongue is flopping in frantic indecision: keep quiet or cry your name? That tug-of-war results in a submissive symphony for his reddened ears alone. But at least you can’t hear it. But what if you did? For what he lacks in confidence, he makes up for in imagination. Armin softens his grip to match the way he thought you would hold him. First, your fingers. Then, your presence. Now, your contact. Once his walls have weakened past the point of disbelief, and only once he convinces himself that you’re the one working him can he get himself to his toe-curling, back-breaking climax. 

Jean

It always starts on his bed. Lazily palming himself on his mattress, Jean is rather carefree. Masturbation is not something he plans, but something he indulges in when he feels like it. It’s just one of those things. It is not something he lets himself anticipate all day, nor is it something he approaches with shame. Before he wakes up or before he drifts to sleep, it will cost only a little energy but help him rest. It’s the lie he tells himself, arousal his most gullible state. Less than a minute after he begins, Jean is panting, drooling, burying himself into his pillow. Swears muffled as he envelops his twitching cock in his similarly trembling hand. In working hours, he keeps his thoughts for you under wraps. When the sun is down, though, so is his façade of composure. Oh, the things he wants to do to you. More than that, what fucks him up is the thought of what you would do to him.  Tendons strain and cast shadows on his neck, a desperate attempt to subdue his needy vocals. In this one session, the scenarios he has fantasized over have flashed faster than seconds. In that way, he thinks he must have lasted a while. In reality, everything is skewed. When he goes for days, sometimes weeks, without release, that release is difficult to delay. His pent-up dam demands a break: the uncatchable shot of his warm seed through his fingers and onto his sheets. He always thinks that climax will wind him down, but instead, it gets him up and out of bed, to the laundry machines.

Reiner

Slams himself against the door. Panting hard before he can even unbuckle and unzip himself. He’s ashamed to admit it all: how badly he wants to cum, how badly he needs to. The desperate rasp in his throat and the way it bounces off his bedroom walls turns his blush ablaze. He manages a squint and the sight of his bed, but the stagger in his legs tells him that he won’t make the walk. Reiner leans back against the wooden slate, one hand around his cock, one hand clutching the doorknob for stability. Eyes rolled back into his head. Hair a mess after this many runs of his hand through it. Inhales hiss through his teeth. Exhales shake on their fall past his lips. Looking down at himself, he notices the way his abdomen ripples with blood flow and wonders if you’d like that. He could practically hear you, the way you would dip your fingers into his mouth and pry, beckoning his moans and encouraging their volume. His imagination of what else you would do drives the speed and force of his hand. Pants crumpled at his ankles bind his legs to the perfect spread. His back is soaked with cold sweat, slicking and sticking him to his bedroom door. The flicks of his wrist are automatic now, racing to catch up with the snowball effect in his mind: you you you. With one final, nearly sadistic yank, he brings himself to finish - the sensation just as incoherent as his calls of your name.

Zeke

Tucks himself into bed. To Zeke, masturbation is a ritual, religiously stocked with offerings. From the drawer of his bedside table, he removes fire-and-ice lubrication and a ten-inch fleshlight. Atop the nightstand, a pack of cigarettes and his reflective lighter wait to accompany his comedown. He removes his glasses and sets them aside. By a thumb on his waistband, he peels his briefs down and flings them into the hamper across the room, satisfied with his aim.  Zeke deliberately clashes his teeth together, trying to resist the admission of how good the initial sheathe feels. This is his relaxation time and he intends to savor it. His spank bank is rich with both fond memories and colorful fantasies. Playing them back in his mind, he accompanies the scenes with his own vocalizations, beating himself to the rhythm of your ass as it bounced around his cock, or the way your head bobbed back and forth around him. Most men last only a few minutes. Zeke basks in his average time of one hour. Edging himself on and on, chuckling maniacally each time he - to his own surprise - manages to wean himself off at the last second. His arm does not tire. His images are endless. It is only after the friction reaches an unbearable burn and his wrist begins to cramp that Zeke decides to give in, though he didn’t like to phrase it that way. Tilting his head back, his exhale is deceptively cool as his hot cum soaks his sleeve. It takes a couple flicks of his lighter, and many more involuntary twitches, though, until the pleasure truly ends.

// masterlist //

[rowenas-megacoven]

“Don’t start sounding like him” - please don’t get sappy with me and make this harder than it already is but the last time someone I loved said this to me I had to order him to die and I’m not ready to lose you too

“Don’t ruin what I have going” - please don’t get sappy with me and make this harder than it already is but I’ve made up my mind and it can’t be changed, please let me go

“You understand, don’t you Levi?” - I’m sorry, can you forgive me?

“Devote your heart” - I forgive you. Go

[arteastica]

Erwin making love to you because life is too short to pretend you’re not horny for him.

(Also, this is part of a short comic I’m working on, so please come back later if Erwin in bed is a topic that interests you☺️)

[saintkaylaa]

unsolicited dong pic…

(ft. levi, eren, armin, jean, reiner, & porco)

note: this was an anon request that I had accidentally done for jjk first😅 sorry pookie

warnings: cursing, suggestive, male anatomy, f!reader

— levi

— eren

— armin

— jean

— reiner

— porco

[jeankirstein4ever]

❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚

Professor!Erwin who will smile and nod a little when he sees his best student already set up at the very front of the class, an hour before lecture.

Professor!Erwin who loves grading your work, adores the fluidity of your handwriting and the way you sign your name so neatly at the top.

Professor!Erwin who loves to see the look on your face as you read his encouraging marks across the page but even more so the look of shame when he leaves a discoursing comment, “I hope you are able to reevaluate how you spend your time, you’re clearly becoming distracted miss y/n.”

Professor!Erwin who has to bite back a scoff when he watches the rather obnoxious and duller one of his students ask you to tutor.

Professor!Erwin who watches you present for the class, having you dig his nails into his leg to keep himself focused while you’re damn near bent over trying to click through your slides.

Professor!Erwin who extends his office hours just for you, “wouldn’t want my best student to fall behind now would we?”

Professor!Erwin who admires how hard you work, “you have the most admirable drive of any student I’ve met.” He’ll lean over you to read your paper as you write it, his breath and cologne making your body painfully aware of how needy you wanted to be.

Professor!Erwin who groans when you press yourself against him, not being able to wait anymore , “Poor girl, been needing something other than some dumb college boys dick, huh? You work this hard for all your teachers or just the ones you want to fill you up?”

Professor!Erwin who’s hand is moving up you thigh, at an agonizingly slow pace, your hips already trying to buck for friction. His other hand holding you by the crown of your hair. Thumb pressing perfectly through the soaked cotton keeping you too far from him.

Professor!Erwin that goes soft as tears start to blister your eyes, finally moving aside the fabric to move two of his fingers swiftly inside your sopping wet hole. “You like this babydoll don't you?” His hand tightening in your hair making you whine so pitifully, “Answer or I'll stop.”

Professor!Erwin who feels himself strain against the fabric of his trousers and flesh of your ass; feeling you squeeze harder and harder around the cold metal of his wedding ring, pushing you further down on the desk.

Professor!Erwin who has to practically race to pull his length out before he ruins his favorite pants, his tip hitting your cervix with what he knows is not enough time to adjust, “m’ so sorry baby, just take it all in okay, I know you can, your my best girl, I know you can do it.”

❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖❁˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚❁˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚

[riewritten]

31 SEMBLANCE

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

As you dwelled on your cries, the commander finally sat down again; his fingers continuously glided on your cheeks to soothe you somehow.

"How are they in that world?" He finally spoke again after a while.

"The two are living as Levi's siblings. Isabel, while a full-on brat, stuck to me since we were children. Furlan is very composed and he helps Levi in lots of things." You chuckled a bit despite the tears due to random memory. "You won't believe me when I say he used to hold me with affection and now he's having a happy crush on the current queen."

Indeed, that would be hard to imagine. Erwin had to register that with a small laugh as well. "The others?"

"I haven't met Miche, Hange, and the others yet but they're friends with you two. I hear them a lot from you and Levi."

"Miche… he's living a better life as well, I see." He pondered. For some reason, his voice was a mixture of relief and bitterness. "How am I in that world?"

"You became quite like your father despite having him for just a short time. You've been very gentle to everyone, especially to me, and helped me without hesitation because I was left behind for so long due to lots of things…" You bit your lip to suppress another wave of emotions. "And you also chose to remember everything in this world by dreams so you could pay for your debts. That's why our paths crossed again. You were my saving grace in that world. Having this vision was too tormenting for me until you came."

"It's good that I didn't end up too much of a bastard somehow." He finally withdrew his palm on your cheek and rested it on your hand instead. "Are you healthy enough in that world?"

"I am. I was poisoned with soup then stabbed but I think I'm fine in general."

"Soup?" Erwin repeated in surprise. "So all this time—"

"I quickly overcame my fear towards the dish when you repeatedly accompanied me while eating it." You clarified with a chuckle. "But that's why you're on the edge in that world as well. Despite some distinctions, you're completely the same cruel man."

"If I ever did murder the perpetrator in that world, would you be able to forgive me?"

"Of course, I would. I'm staying no matter what." You answered resolutely. "It doesn't need to clash with seeking accountability, after all."

Silence enveloped the whole room. You heard Erwin gulp after a while as if trying to articulate the next question. Then you realized he might be having a hard time voicing it out because he squeezed onto your hand.

"Was I able to give you all the love you deserve in that world?"

That's when you finally let the tears drip down again. It was silent weeping this time and you held onto his hand tightly as well. "You're a man full of teasing and banters but you also keep on telling me that I'll get everything I want in that world. That you'll make up for it somehow."

"Is that so," He weakly muttered and stayed still again. When you glanced at him, you almost sobbed out loud. He looks so sad and on a closer look, it's as if he's a lost child who's so conflicted about what to do. His eyes are glued on the hand he's holding and it's obvious that he's taking quite a while coming up with other things to say. Never in your life did you think you'd ever see this man so lost with his words.

"Do you want to go back?" He muttered.

Somehow, as the sight continuously burns your vision, you notice how he's trying to muster up the courage to finally let you go.

You weren't able to stop the sobs then. "I could live everywhere as long as you're alive."

"But the people dear to you are alive in that world. It's needless to say that you'll be happier there."

"You're the only reason I existed again. You strongly wished for me to exist, that's why I'm here even after using the power granted to me. Your existence is what matters to me the most."

"You say that I'm still the same man in that world… but do I actually have the ability to protect you with all my might?"

"You have. We could protect ourselves. There are no monsters in that world." You repeated what you had said back in Wall Maria.

His eyes widened then as if that remark ultimately concluded the whole bargain. Finally, his grip on your hand untightened.

Despite the calm wistfulness, he looks more broken this time. You weren't able to take it so you gripped his hand again. "I'll stay here. You don't need to convince me anymore. I could live with you here. I would love to do so."

That's when Erwin finally smiled. It was the most poignant smile you've ever seen of him, in this world and the other one. He gently removed your grasp on him and shook his head. "You came here to save me and so your job here is done. That's more than enough for me."

"No. You said it, right? We can do the things we weren't able to do before. I would love to have that life. You told me I'd look good living inside the walls as well. Then live with me." You're the one doing the bargain this time. "It's not fake security anymore and I'd be able to live beside someone I love. We don't even have to quit at all. We just have to—"

You were cut off gently when Erwin leaned in for a kiss. He held on to your cheeks and languidly glided his lips to yours. It's slow, too slow that you just know he is savoring it for the last time. You let him melt down your sobs then.

He halted after a while with both of your lips barely touching and breathing in each other's air. "Isabel needs someone right now." He whispered.

"No. She has everyone to take care of her." You begged, completely setting aside the worries in pursuit of coaxing the man above you who had nothing in this life but pure suffering.

"Furlan is having a hard time. If a man as composed as him is having such difficulty keeping himself up then you really need to go back."

"Again, you just have to let me live with you. They have each other and we don't need to worry about them."

"How about me in that world? Who do I have there?" You were shot into silence then. Somehow, Erwin hoped you would be able to pitch in a name. Perhaps that'd make him reconsider his decision. When you didn't respond, he just smiled again and landed a chaste peck on the bridge of your nose.

"You need to come back and stop me from doing something irreversible or if I already did, you have to be there and forgive me." He landed another one on your forehead. "Because you're sweet like that, my dearest girl that's holding me with so much affection. You're the one who's been saving me all this time and I need another saving in that world right now."

"But I could just stay here, don't you want that? We could finally have good things together."

"The fact that there's a world where we could get that is more than enough for me. What you did in this world is more than enough for me." He said while hushing your tears away.

You start to feel as if you're being pulled away from your body, each second ticking until you disappear into thin air, until you leave the body that Erwin is holding so dearly.

No, just a moment. I'm not done yet. I need to have him realize that I'm meant to be here.

"You went through a lot as it is and I could finally stay beside you to get past our miseries. I was dead set on dying there but if I could have the chance to live with you here—" However, you realized that Erwin's words are to be heard as well because it's by his will that you're here. He's the one who vehemently desired to see you again even if it's just a glimpse. He's the one who begged for the parallel and had it full of glitches. "You won't let me go, would you?"

"I won't. I have you beyond worlds after all. See, you have this terrible man stuck on you for several lifetimes." It's as if the Erwin smiling in front of you also knows well that he had the final say as much as you do.

He lands another kiss as he finally decides to let you go, for this moment is the last one you'll ever have of him — the man who had tons of mistakes and sought to be forgiven, the one who died and still begged for you to save him, and the one who vehemently believed that seeing you again even just for a minute is more than he could ever wish for.

"Thank you for coming to me."

It’s as if your mind has been flying away inside an abyss since then. You could hear words but they’re just playing around in the air. What’s keeping you from breaking is that last moment playing inside your head so vividly on repeat. Despite not knowing how long you've been doing it, you're still more than thankful at the sight. There's no way you'd get sick of it when you're well aware that by the time it stops playing, you won't see nor feel the commander ever again.

On the day you finally got agency with your thoughts and body again, even for a short period, you woke up screaming. Your body reeked of sweat even though the temperature was not even high. The peaceful and well-cleaned room is spinning around your eye. Every corner of it is threatening you with death, kitchen knives, blood, scattered utensils, and broken plates. This wasn't even included with your worries until this very moment. There's a lump in your throat that makes it hard for you to breathe and it's more than enough to acknowledge that you're back for good. It's your body that's reacting to all of this, not your consciousness beyond this world.

Fortunately, everyone is inside the house today including Erwin. Kuchel’s household usually takes turns tending to you so everyone stopped in their tracks as soon as they heard you screaming in the room, from words like "mom" and "I'm sorry" up to painful cries about how you want to see your brother again. They stormed towards where you are. Everyone who'd go near you during these episodes could be perceived as a threat, that's why they have to be careful not to invade your space.

It was Kuchel who spoke first, gently and tranquil. The rest waited at the door. "It's okay, it's okay. Look at your surroundings. You're in a completely different place. No one's gonna hurt you here." Kuchel slowly walked.

You can't even hear her, not at all. "Mom, I don't–" You gripped your hair with both hands “I don’t remember. This isn't what I intended to create when I—" You cut yourself off with a shaky gasp as you clutched on your left stomach. "—it hurts. Oh, it hurts. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" You felt how it's bleeding, how it'd spurt out the blood from you anytime soon, your organs gushing out along the way.

Furlan and Isabel can't even look at you anymore. Levi still had his composed face but his eyebrows were curled, perhaps in worry, anger, or both. Erwin's expression was grim, nearly unreadable, as he followed your every move. Despite Kuchel's completely composed demeanor, this is an utterly painful sight to see as there's no wound in your stomach anymore. Your mother's not holding a knife at you because she's dead. She can't hurt you anymore. No one could.

Nothing but the flashes of memories that'd stay in you for the rest of your life.

That's the cue for her then as the pain perceived by your brain would distract you from seeing someone walking as a threat. She tried a palm on your head at first to test, but you flinched and screamed so she pulled back. Kuchel then stayed half a meter away, knelt down to your level, and whispered things only audible to the both of you. Slowly but surely, her whispers subsided your panic down into sobs. You still had your eyes shot really wide but the mind hysteria decreased. Kuchel tried to touch you again, this time you were calmer; she took that as the cue and gently engulfed you in her embrace. As she caressed your head, you hugged your knees. The sobs weakened until they became mere huffs. She then laid you down, let you curl yourself up in a fetal position, and closed your eyes after a while. Breathing became steady then. You're sleeping again. Kuchel finally halted her hands. That's when those who'd like to go near you entered, Erwin first.

Upon sitting on the bed, Erwin placed a hand on your cheek to check something, "She's having a fever again.”

Isabel is crying this time but she didn't dare utter a word anymore. She walked out to get a towel and basin with water. Levi reached a hand on top of her head though, halting her for a while. "I know that face. Don't blame yourself again. She's already here."

Her bottled-up thoughts finally broke. "Why did you listen to me? I'm your stupid sister, a good-for-nothing brat. I didn't even dare go to college. Why did you? Both of you should've known better!" She also shot Furlan a glare.

The way she's shouting at Levi is a completely new sight to see. Indeed, she tends to shout a lot but this one’s completely angry and spiteful. Even Furlan is completely taken aback. Isabel's train of thought has been crippled since that evening. Not only you who got physically harmed would be scarred in the mind. The only time she stopped waking and throwing up in the middle of the night was when you finally woke up.

Levi ruffled her hair. "I told you she's here already. No one will blame you. Not even Mom blamed you when you finally told her." He then moved Isabel's head to turn it towards Kuchel's. The mother flashed an apologetic smile at her. "Not even the brat lying down beside her would blame you. You know that much by now, don't you? You're the one closest to her here."

Isabel gulped the lump down her throat. Everyone paused. After wiping her face, she walked away without a word. She's still shaking. Her fists are clenched just as usual, so hard that her hands are stained with red marks.

"I'll buy meds outside." Furlan quietly excused himself.

Kuchel walked towards the two and patted their shoulders to say something. "Her father won't be coming back. He cut all his connections off and I discovered the other day that he already has a new family overseas. Maybe the divorce was what pushed that woman to her limits. I don't even know about it. Not even their child got aware." Erwin then widened his eyes. He's the one who initiated the search for him after all. "That's pretty much it. She's got nothing but us now. Not that it made any difference. It's been like this ever since." Then walked away as if nothing happened. Her composure did not falter at all. It says a lot about how her eldest is the same.

Then Erwin and Levi were left alone. Levi started. "You're fortunate she killed herself first before you could."

Erwin folded his arms as he leaned on the door jamb, watched your now tranquil figure then clicked his tongue. "Fortunate, you say?"

"What do you think would happen if this girl finally came back to her senses and discovered you became a murderer instead?"

"She already knew that'd happen.” He blatantly uttered it to you after all. He’s just quite uncertain if you would actually remember. “And yet I'm too livid to care, I don't think I ever could."

Of course, Levi should know this much by now. He changed the topic then. "When you went to her that day, did you bring a weapon?"

“I'm the one who gave her the weapon, even asked her to kill me. I got nothing but words. Do you think I'm the one who led her into that?"

"Don't throw questions on me. Explain what happened instead."

Erwin silently walked toward you and sat on the bed. Before answering, he fixed the blanket so it'd cover you properly. He made sure your head would be the only thing visible as if recalling your humorous exchange way back at the balcony could help in toning down his grim thoughts. His demeanor stayed dark though, utterly dark. "Nothing dangerous. Just told her she's already dead and I'm giving her the chance to choose if she'd be the one to do the final act or me. If she chooses me then I'd do her some service like the good man I am. Something that'd take a whole day."

"You—" Levi shot his eyes wide. "Urged her to do that?"

Instead of answering, Erwin busied himself brushing his hand on your head. You squeaked and moved a bit but didn't wake up. When he gave Levi a look again, the latter had to register the sight. Erwin looked utterly perilous right now despite his tranquil touches. His face was flat as stone, not even a curl on his eyebrows nor a scowl. The menacing glint in his eyes is more than enough to remark how angry he is right now and how unremorseful of what he did. He might be willing to do more, even. Levi almost shuddered. Considering how Erwin holds you right now despite the face he's having, it seems like you're the only one safe in this space as of the moment.

Levi doesn't want to imagine what would become of him if you really died. "What the fuck is up with that face?"

"She's the one who ended her suffering. Did herself a favor and died. Who do you think is the more fortunate one here, Levi?"

"What have you done, exactly?"

"I do deadlines in my profession a lot so I tried having it to her as well. If this angel doesn't wake up in two weeks—" Then his caresses slid on your cheeks instead. "Perhaps a stab, or having the nails removed, hour after an hour, no drugs involved, let her blood dry out all over her house. Anything, really. I also visited her daily for gentle reminders; told her that the time is ticking and that I accept requests. Gave her intricate details of what I would do to her if the deadline came. She tried to stay from one place to another to avoid me but I always ended up bumping into her coincidentally. I think the setup in this world is pretty much in my favor, unlike the previous one."

The search warrant didn’t even last for more than 24 hours. She was quickly found dead.

Realization daunted Levi. “I thought you only went to her place once.”

"You think that'd suffice? I'm as good as dead might as well bring her down with me. Want me to get more detailed about it?" It's not even a question meant for Levi's approval. It was perhaps a mockery he intended to voice out in this world. He's making every dust in this space right now hear how low he went and how he'd go further if the conditions set upon the girl he's holding are way crueler than what just happened. "I might've done my words so well because every day I visited her, she'd end up screaming and sobbing. I didn't even need to soil my hands. Her deranged mind is way too easy to corrupt. I gave her some gifts, perhaps the last one was her breaking point. It was the portrait of her dead son in Paradis. How he looked, how healthy and happy he was thanks to his sister who loved him so well like the sweetest girl that she is. How precious my woman is because she ended up saving everyone's asses, including that wicked mother only if she knew better than to make her existence known to me."

If something's horrifying Levi, it wasn't what Erwin did, not at all, but rather the lack of guilt on his features. It's as if a completely different man is sitting on the bed because the thing that's been crippling Erwin all his life is the same one he's lacking right now.

"All this time your life revolved around remorse and now you'd shit on me at how you didn't feel that at all?"

"Paying debts. Bullshit. Completely stupid.” He spat sardonically. “This girl's the one who paid for it all this time. I thought so highly of myself."

Levi brought a hand to his temples, massaged them slightly then spoke again. "I'm not in the mood to ask anymore. Spill everything now or get your hands off her and walk out of this house."

"When she told you that she wasn't supposed to exist, it's not a bluff to save that woman. She's the one who instigated this world in exchange for her existence." And finally, Erwin's grimness subsided. It was replaced with dread. "I don't even know why she's lying down here as we speak. A moment ago I was fighting my other self for dear life because I want her here and now I can't comprehend what's happening anymore."

"How do you even know it wasn't a bluff?"

"She's the one who instigated this world, made me survive my demise, and ensured that I'd witness everything in Paradis until the end. That's why I was sure to kill her mother, Levi. Because I don't think I'd have her again. Back then, I just knew she was dead the moment I saw her in my subconscious, and the thought of that woman living in a world granted by the girl she almost killed repulsed me." Erwin just looks tired, even worse than what Levi used to see when they were younger. "And now that she chose to come back to this world only to suffer like this: completely unresponsive and broken, I feel nothing but regret that I actually did that woman a favor by not having her dead in my hands."

Levi finally calmed down and silence enveloped the room for a while. He understands, he really does, but still, "I doubt you'd be sputtering grim shit out of your mouth if this girl's actually in her right mind and could hear you." With that, Erwin's dreadful face was replaced with sheer lament as if what Levi said brought him back. The latter could finally see him again then, the Erwin that he and everyone knows well.

"She already knew what I would do if she remained unconscious in this world. That's what took her to come back here even, but still, I don't think I'd ever regret what I did even if she comes to despise me, and I also saw something right after that woman died."

"Are you gonna tell me her mother instigated something as well?"

Erwin nodded, "I saw her brother, the one she had in that world but didn't have here, approximately a week after. He's in the form of a young child who doesn't remember everything about him at all."

Levi's eyes widened again. "How sure are you that it's him? Let alone it's because of that woman's death?"

"Aside from the fact that he completely looks the same, he's got nothing of himself aside from his first name. When I asked the foster home, that boy came to them a day after that woman died. He appeared out of nowhere, with no traces of people associated with him. What explanation is there aside from that?"

Levi doesn't even know what to say anymore, no follow-up questions and utterances of possibilities. The revelation is quite too overwhelming for him as well and he needs to wind out for now. "Nonetheless, you better tell her in complete detail about what you've done to her mother, Erwin. No matter how everyone here wouldn't take what happened against you, she’s the only one who holds the final verdict because she lived." Levi then grabbed his things in the room so he could finally go out. "Just as you told me that night, I'm neither a soldier nor a thug. You must remember that in yourself too because the only time I'd tolerate that deranged face of yours again is when she's finally buried six feet below the ground." He's in the doorway now and before he finally disappeared at the man, he shot him a glare. "If you dare show it to me again, let alone to her or anyone in this house, might as well go back to where you came from. I wouldn't be able to see you as someone safe to be close with my family by then."

Erwin pondered in silence as he looked down at his palms. He understood it very well and that's the same reason why he feels like laughing at himself now. He always had blood in his hands just because of his mouth and the feeling’s way too normal for him already, too normal that he can’t bring himself to care.

Perhaps not only that woman who laid her hands on you got an inherently wicked existence. That's why he knew how to deal with it when he came for her. He's not any different. 

"You need to come back and stop me from doing something irreversible or if I already did, you have to be there and forgive me."

The bitter laugh was let out, then. Shameless. Utterly shameless. Poor you, to be associated with deranged beings even in this life. Even after sacrificing so much.

Moments after, Isabel finally entered and Erwin let her tend to you as she usually does. She cleaned your body first and after a while, woke you up to drink meds. You've been seated since then. After her task, she sat down on the chair beside your bed and faced Erwin.

She noticed how grim the man's expression is as if he was just mirroring your face. His eyes are only glued to you as well and Isabel can't grasp what he's thinking. He's been like this ever since that happened. It's just that his face is way milder now that your eyes finally opened— she can't even say you're back because you're not. Since you got conscious until this very moment, no one was able to hold a decent conversation with you. If you're not asleep, you’d just stare out of nowhere or mumble incoherent stuff. You could nod sometimes but your muscles aren’t that responsive. What happened earlier is not the first one as well and they're all too scared, too horrified that you'd stay this way forever — gone for good, crippled for the rest of your life.

And thus Isabel looked down at the floor, clenched her fists again, eyebrows curled, and lips pursed all because of worry. "Erwin, uhm, it's been days since you last visited and she's…" Talking to Erwin about you makes her terribly anxious as if she's completely indebted to this man for being negligent all this time. "…still as unresponsive." 

"Is that so," Erwin's gaze didn't leave you. You're staring at the wall with a face not moving at all, just as usual. He lifted your arm to see if you could hold it up this time but as soon as he released it, the limb fell down flatly as if it was dead. It's as if you're a breathing doll. Breathing but dead. "Have she eaten already?"

"Yeah. Recently, I'm able to make her smell the food and then urge her to open her mouth slightly. She could do that much now."

"She's improved a lot, then. Didn't she have any reactions to the utensils you used? Like what she did back at the hospital?"

"I used a plastic spoon this time. We realized she's particularly getting hysterical at the sight of metal spoons and bowls. Odd. She's not afraid of the soup itself. Only with the utensils." Erwin just nodded and didn't say more. He just blandly busied himself by randomly picking on your face to see if a reaction would be pulled out — pinching your cheeks, holding your breath by pinching your nose, gliding his fingers on your eyelids and pulling it up a bit — but nothing happened. Isabel clinched on her knees further. "Recently, Levi told me that you're actually the one who gave him a heads-up about this. When you came here for the first time years ago, you said that you saw a wounded girl buying bandages and disinfectants at the convenience store."

"Levi decided to tell you everything now, I see." He recalled the incident. "I rushed to the counter first to pay it on her behalf and even added some stuff but that's all I was able to do. She looked so out of it, though. It's as if she's in auto-pilot mode. She didn't flinch when the cashier crew said her stuff had already been paid and left without a word. Similar to this, but she was able to walk and grab things somehow."

Isabel gulped the lump forming up in her throat, "And apparently, that's when Levi told us that the wounds she's been getting ever since we're children aren't accidents unlike she claimed so. We tried to slowly gauge her to address the matter at hand but we realized she doesn't remember them at all. On our next attempts, she said she saw it happening in her dream instead." Erwin hummed to acknowledge the redhead's remark. Isabel still can't decipher the look on his face and that alone reverberated her anxiety. It didn't take long until she started crying. It was when Erwin finally looked at her. "I'm so sorry. I was afraid because her mother had custody over her and if my mom confronted her about it, she might take her away from us and we'd never see her again. That's why Mom never knew everything until this happened. My brothers listened to that stupid remark and agreed that we should just take care of her behind the curtains. Look where it got her."

He's already aware of what Isabel just said and if he's on his usual self, he would immediately sense her impending cries — enough to comfort her before she could let them out. However, he's utterly spent right now, too exhausted to channel his astuteness. "It's not your fault. You never wanted this to happen."

"It is. We should've just forced her out of there. I can't believe my brothers listened to such a stupid remark." She hit her head with a hand continuously and sobbed. "Why did they listen to me?"

"The wounds Levi claimed she usually gets aren't grave. It could be classified as some sort of corporal punishment and it's more likely that she'd get away from it as most parents would. She doesn't even remember it herself. I'm not saying that the way you didn't inform Kuchel was right and wise but your fear was valid." Erwin replied and after pondering, added. "And Levi's actions were valid too. All of you are the ones who always rush to her whenever she needs help but Levi still tends to find her primary guardians every time. They're the ones most aware of her medical records and had direct contact with her physicians. You guys did what you could."

"But still, we could've done so much more if…"

"I don't think she'd ever blame you for that. Levi's right. Your remorse will just make her feel worse. She'd think you wouldn't be crippled with guilt if she worked on not being a burden. You should know how her mind works by now." Erwin proceeded to massage your limbs, a habit most people in the house developed since you really don't move most of the time. "Besides, everyone will really end up living with that guilt had she died but she's here instead, and so the present is what we must dwell on. You wouldn't be able to tend to her properly if you're burdened with that, don't you think?" It took time for Isabel to respond and when she finally nodded, Erwin smiled. It's a small one, but the first time she saw it again after a while. "You're one of the greatest reasons why she came back here. Thank you for sticking to her until now."

Isabel almost felt herself crying again as if a thorn finally plucked out of her skin. Erwin wasn't angry at her. Not at all. "You don't have to thank me for that."

Even before Erwin could reply, however, they heard you talk. It's a weak one. He scooted nearer and urged you to repeat it.

"Erwin… Nightmares…"

Isabel shot the man a look but he was as taken aback as she was. You never mentioned anyone's name aside from your mother and brother since you woke up. She scooted nearer as well, "You're not having nightmares, and yeah, Erwin's here."

"It's okay, you don't need to…" You murmured again, your face still dead. "...nightmares about them while holding me." As if you're a robot.

Isabel turned to Erwin again. Despite the shock, he still managed to answer. "Your words are enough for now."

Your response almost made Isabel gasp; you smiled, a genuine one at that.

"Can you go outside first? I'll talk to her." Erwin said to Isabel without shooting her a look. She quickly nodded and excused herself.

You didn't say anything after that so Erwin called your name as if to test the water, "You're back now."

Your face went back to flatness again. "I'll stay here. You don't need to convince me anymore. I'd love to…" Then your words become too incoherent to comprehend.

"That's right. You're here. You're talking to me."

"We can do the things we weren't able to do before. I would love to have that life. Inside the walls." You murmured flatly again.

Never in his life had he imagined himself to be so utterly lost on what to do. What would wake you up? What'd snap you back, perhaps a cue that'd make your mind perceive where you really are? 

After a long while of pondering, he started. "Seems like you ran from Levi's place up to here. That tea helps a lot with relaxation—" He trailed and urged himself to recall more. What did he say to you that day? "…welcome to my class. You may sit wherever."

Slowly but surely, your eyes widened. You're suddenly scared and your breath hitched. He let you process that at first.

When you started calling out for Historia, that's when he cupped your face and turned you to him. "There, there. Finally realized what world you're in now?" You looked completely horrified as soon as your eyes landed on him though. You're on that day again — the first time you met him, the moment you saw the man in your nightmares up front.

He quickly recalled another fragment of conversation to calm you down somehow. He can't afford to make you faint. "…if I get to remember the fact that I charged soldiers to death even by dreams then I have to atone for it." Slowly and fortunately, your reaction changed again. You curled your eyebrows as if questioning what he just said. It was the same one you gave him when he calmed you down at the lantern. 

It's working. "I don’t think we’ll see each other die in this world somehow." He almost choked midway, maybe due to the bitter feeling that remark exuded. Still, he continued. "—perhaps we could take that instead?" Your expression still had a hint of doubt but more relief washed your face now. Just the same one he saw when he picked you up on the road that midnight.

Another one, then, perhaps the last one if fortunate enough. "Setting an equal ground with me will not happen in that room and I'm close to finishing that nightmare. I'm preparing you for it."

"Are you gonna leave me after that?" You suddenly huffed in disbelief. "You said you won't!"

There.

"Try to look around then. Did I leave you?"

Finally, for the first time since you woke up, you looked around your surroundings. He removed his palms on your cheeks and regained his seat to give you air.

Still not done. The grounding is the next one. He asked you to label stuff: five things to see, four things to feel, three things to hear, and more. He made you raise a hand up, and more things to check on your movements.

It took quite a while to finish but when you did everything he asked for, Erwin finally smiled — the first genuine smile he had for a long time. Slowly but surely, he was able to come to terms with his ponders again. Whether or not his existence is inherently wicked, you came back here to forgive him. Like the dearest girl that you are, holding him with so much importance, saving him with your unwavering affection every single time.

He sat on the bed, tipped your chin, and called your name. "You did so, so well. You've been such a strong girl for us. You don't need to worry anymore. Everything's okay now."

It took you a while to reply. When you finally realized everything, you shakily asked. "Really? It is?"

"It is." He went for a kiss, then. A completely gentle one that lasted for a moment, something that both of you thought was gone for good. "Thank you for coming to me again."

The one who started his life selfishly was the one to let go, while the other who embodied selflessness in his entirety clung desperately.

what you wish for the commander, above anything else, is that he'd be happy worlds beyond. if he finds someone in the world where you managed to save him then what is to be sad for? indeed, he knows it well just as he knows you. he did as you want. but then again, what is grief if not love persevering? no matter how able are them to take the world off his shoulders or turn the stormy cloud into a rainbow, there'll still be a glimpse of you lurking around his windows—or perhaps on his own reflection, on the sword, even on his emerald bolo tie—for your existence is a shredding light, always illuminating the dreariest of days.

previous chapter | next chapter

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[seredelgi]

Damn do I like this shot of him.

I don’t know what it is exactly but he is so handsome.

[leviismybby]

AOT veterans men and random things/kinks they do during sex

Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith and Miche Zacharias x fem!reader (NSFW 18+, minors dni)

Levi

Marking, Levi bites on any skin that he puts his lips on. He likes having you in missionary not only because he can see the pleasure he brings you and kiss you but because he gets a chance to color your neck in dark purple marks that will stain your skin for days. He won't spare your thighs, stomach and hips either. "Mmm look at that, are you going to cover up these? Or let the whole world see how much you love being marked by me."

Spanking, especially in doggystyle, Levi's hand comes down harshly against your skin leaving red prints behind as he fucks you roughly. He also loves spanking your thighs while eating you out. As soon as your thighs try to close around his head, he lands a harsh slap on your skin. "Be a good girl, keep those pretty fucking legs spread."

Overstimulation, Levi likes the thought of being the only thing in your brain and he won't stop until he hears you say it. You have cum countless times around his cock, his tongue,but Levi wasn't yet satisfied. His fingers work on you at a ruthless pace, your thighs shake, and filthy moans leave your swollen lips. "Gonna cum again for me yeah? Gonna show me how much you love it when your Captain makes you cum yeah? Scream my fucking name."

Choking, Levi enjoys choking you during sex, any position where he can grab your neck is good for him. His rough thrusts make you roll your eyes back, whimpers leaving your lips. "Why the useless stupid sounds baby? I already know that you love getting fucked like a whore."

Degradation, Levi can be very mean at times especially if he thinks that you deserved it, he usually praises you, so you learned to take it as punishment if he gets rude with words. His cock pounds into your mercilessly, almost making you scream. "You're nothing but a slut aren't you? A slut for my cock, I can be the worst man on earth and you would still let me fuck you into oblivion."

Erwin

Cockwarming, Erwin loves having you ride him while he is busy with work and he also loves halting all of your movements and having your warm walls wrapped around his cock. No matter how much you beg for him to move, he doesn't. "Don't get ahead of yourself dear, I'm the one in control, and if you keep complaining It'll be like this for the rest of the night."

Belly bulge, his blue eyes land on the little bulge that appears when he pushes his thick cock deep inside of you. He can't help but put his hand against it, pressing down on it, watching you lose your mind beneath him. "Look at how deep inside of you I am darling, look."

Authority kink, Erwin gets extra into it if you call him Commander. He enjoys the fact that he has this power over you on and off the bed. As soon as you call him by his name, he stops moving taking your jaw and making you look at him. "That's not my name is it? Already forgot who I am I see, let's change that."

Creampie, he has absolutely zero shame about it, the sight of your legs shaking as his cum drips out of you will always be his favorite. Erwin cums deep inside of you and sometimes even hopes that your belly will be growing with his child. "Gonna breed you sweetheart, wanna make me a daddy? You'll look so pretty with my children inside of your belly dear."

Blindfold sex, again Erwin loves control and there is nothing better than seeing you with your eyes covered as he has his way with you, slapping your dripping cunt before diving his head between your thighs. "You want to see me? Too bad, I'll have you shaking and crying once I'm done with you my sweet."

Miche

Nipple play, his big hands love teasing and playing with your nipples. Miche will always take his time when his mouth is on your nipple, swirling his tongue around your buds and sucking them gently. "I haven't even touched you where you need me most and you're already cumming? Naughty girl."

Size kink, Miche is a big guy and he enjoys manhandling you like no one else. He picks you up so effortlessly and slams you down on his cock, your body looks small to his in comparison. "My word how easy you are to break, look at how wet you are."

Praise, as much as he loves being rough with you, Miche is a gentle giant. He would kiss your face in little pecks and whisper in your ear. "You're taking me so well, love. Such a good girl for me. I'll give so much more if you want."

Gagging, he has his hand tangled in your hair as you struggle to take him in your mouth, don't worry he knows what to do. He presses you further down onto his cock and you gag slightly, drool dripping down the side of your lips onto him. "You love it don't you? When I choke you on my cock like that, good girl."

Bondage, a piece of advice, don't piss him off or else you're in for a ride. Miche has you tied to his headboard as he ever so slowly makes his way between your thighs. "Have I not told you to behave? If you moan once, I'll put a gag in your mouth understand? Let's see if my pretty girl can handle it."

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Taglist: @youre-ackermine @the-milk-anon @sixpennydame @notgoodforlife @levisbrat25 @levisgreyeyes @luvjiro @lovolee3 @ackermendick @laraackerman

[magicxc]

Safe Word

Pairings: Survey Corps x Reader - how they react to the safe word being called

Word Count: 2967

Warnings: cuteness overload

A/N: This is how I think our bois would react to the safe word being used. Everyone is respectful and fluffy in this so enjoy and tell me what ya think!!

If you’re up to it, check out my headcannon with aot x safeword ignored. Its as it sounds - a darker version of this, so do proceed with caution.

Safe word - sparrow

Eren  - Maybe it was the emotional toll of the day or the sensitivity right before the start of your period, but you just couldn’t keep up. Normally when Eren got a little rough with you it was an enjoyable experience but today just seemed rather, off. Legs curled around his waist as he steadily drove into you left you with nowhere to go; taking everything he was giving your body. And suddenly it became too much to handle, the pressure of it yielding more discomfort than pleasure. You tried to hold on, for him, but the tears that pricked at your eyes had Eren slowing down before your words did.

“Sp- sparrow,” you heaved, the waterworks now in full effect. Halting completely Eren pulled out of you, thumbs wiping away at your cheeks as he bombarded you with questions. 

Apologising for something he didn’t yet understand, he engulfed you in a bear hug until you were ready to express yourself; slowly rocking you both back and forth as he kissed along your temple. After explaining to him how you felt overwhelmed with everything, he’d made you promise to always tell him when you weren't feeling like yourself, especially if it was at the expense of his pleasure. Nodding in agreement, you’d watch as he left to get you a bottle of ice cold water; cuddling you to a peaceful sleep once you’d both settled down.

Levi - being humanity’s strongest soldier meant that Levi had to be extra careful when it came to everyday people. Certain things like a friendly game of arm wrestling or even cracking eggs for breakfast had to be approached cautiously. And while you did allow him to let loose in the bedroom, even that he conducted to a certain extent; always holding your safety in high regard. However, his idea of taking it easy and your idea of taking it easy were vastly different and while you two were still trying to gauge his strength in the early stages of your relationship, there was a safe word put in place.

“Sparrow,” you’d weakly cried out, eyelids heavy and limbs flaccid from the sixth round you and Levi had found yourselves in. While the sex was great and the orgasms mind numbing, six rounds on your poor body was beginning to take its toll. You’d felt weak and the heated feeling building in your belly to signal yet another explosive finish was borderline sweltering. No longer did those black dots that danced around your vision feel fun and soon the empty contents of your stomach threatened to rise. It was like a HIIT workout for a beginner but without the prep. 

Sweat prickled at your forehead and body moist enough to stick to the sheets you were all too eager to tap out, revealing to Levi just how wrecked you were beginning to feel.

After hearing the safe word he stopped immediately, eyes bulging out of his sockets at the idea that he’d hurt you beyond repair. He tended to be a bit drastic in thought when it came to you, but that didn't stop the apologies that tumbled from his lips. Levi would go on to make you a cup of green tea to calm down your symptoms and would keep you up in conversation until the sun rose; much like a mother making her child sing in the bathtub to ensure their safety while she left the room for a towel. How your quiet boyfriend managed to talk you into the wee hours of the morning surely surprised you, but you’d gladly indulge at the efforts he’d go through to make sure that you were okay.

Erwin - Erwin was a generous lover, sometimes too generous as his tongue worked wonders on your clit. Tongue flat against the nub, he’d let enough drool gather at the tip to rub around the bud as effortlessly as possible. Coupled with the two finger combo he’d drive into your pussy had you seeing literal stars. Erwin had come to learn that not only did this garner powerful orgasms for you, but it also garnered quick ones. It was something about his skilled body that would have you unraveling in three minutes flat. And much like the Commander of the Scouts appreciated when his planning yielded successful results on the field, so did the Commander in the bedroom appreciate when his woman yielded successful results from his ministrations; so much so that he’d barely hear the word leave your mouth.

Stopping, he’d uttered “what?”

“I said sparrow,” you panted.

“Baby, I- I’m so sorry,” he apologised.

Thankful for the break, all you could manage was to catch your breath before Erwin began interrogating you with questions of how you felt, where’d it hurt, when did it become too much, what do you need, why didn’t you stop him sooner, etc.

You literally had to shut him up with a finger to his lips, clarifying to Erwin that while it was more pressure than pain, you were fine now. Did it stop him from hurling ten more questions your way? No! And while you were initially annoyed, you were appreciative that he’d cared so much that he was willing to nail down the exact line of no return so he’d know never to cross it again. 

Connie - “thwack” was the loud echo of your skin crackling against Connie’s palm. Bent over his knee, he found himself ‘punishing’ you for whatever roleplay you guys were currently in the middle of. Eight spanks in and the fiery ache to your ass cheek had you quickly forgetting exactly what scenario you two were acting out. All you could think of was how soon you wanted it to end. 

Apparently you’d stop counting which meant that Connie had to start from the top and maybe it was the soreness of your ass, but his hits seemed to rain down even harder on your puffy skin - no doubt leaving behind a handprint. And by the third count you were effectively tapping out, croaking out your safe word before his hand could connect again.

“Sparrow, sparrow, sparrow.”

Hand halted high in the air, Connie quickly turned you over and wrapped you in his arms, begging for your forgiveness. The pleading never ceased and when you were finally able to gather your thoughts, all you wanted was to call it a night.

You’d forgiven him rather quickly especially considering you both were trying something new. But after he’d rub your skin down in aloe vera gel, you two discussed the idea of a middle word, much the same as a yellow traffic light signals that a car should slow down, this middle word would signal that whatever act is being done should continue with caution.

Plopping down next to you, Connie had showered you with kisses, apologies, and now snacks; even managing to slide in a joke or two. While this was an uncomfortable experience for you both, his love language was definitely laughter, trying his best to keep the atmosphere light but also working towards making sure that something like this never happens again.

Jean - While you and Jean tried to keep sex relatively fresh, nothing could ever really beat the classics - good ole fashion head. It was fun and oftentimes turned you on just as much. Face lodged between his thighs, the floor beneath you was a slobbering combination of your spit and Jean’s fluids. 

His hand guided you on the exact pace he wanted you to go, muttering out instructions of how you should please him in the process. The better it felt, the more aggressive he tended to get, hands cradled around your neck as he bobbed you along his shaft.The words you attempted to say came out mumbled and instead sent vibrations to all the right places; and what he thought was you amplifying the experience only made him thrust his hips toward your face more forcefully. Spit bubbling out the corners of your mouth and tears streaming down your face, Jean couldn’t have felt more turned at the sight, his brows crinkling to confusion once your fists began to beat against his thighs.

Halting his movements, he helps you up to which you breathlessly utter your safe word - “sparrow.”

Jean’s face instantly fell and regret filled him to the brim at the idea that he’d been so caught up in his own pleasure that he didn’t realise just how uncomfortable things were getting for you. 

Of course you knew Jean would never hurt you on purpose but you couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated with him. Opting to talk about it some more in the morning when you’d be more emotionally settled, you watched as Jean ran a bath for you; delicately washing the stress from your body and carefully preparing you both for bed. In between it all, he’d profusely apologised, promising to be more attentive the next time you found yourselves sexually active.

By the end of the night, you were pretty much over the incident and insisted on being the big spoon to Jean to allow him a bit of vulnerability in a moment that no doubt left him feeling distraught. 

Onyankopon - It was safe to say that Ony was above average. While sex with him was definitely mind blowing, it had its moments of discomfort and today seemed to be one of them. Fresh from date night, you guys burst through the front door, lips glued to the other as fingertips slid along heated skin. Clothes were stripped and scattered throughout the room, with your foot slamming the door close behind you. 

Soon enough, you’d both ended up on the couch with you atop Ony, riding him into oblivion. And boy was he excited to help you, thick hands tightly secured around your waist as he grinded you into his hips; a nice rhythm that was slowly picking up in pace. His deep thrusts only added to the sensation, dick at the tip of your cervix, as you tried to ride yourself into creating more moisture for the friction.

You were eager to have sex with Ony and you still wanted to, but sometimes it took a little more work to get you as ready as he was. Even though you were turned on, your body needed more time to catch up with your mind. And try as you might, you had to call it quits for now.

“Ohhh my gosh, Ony!! Sparrow, please sparrow,” you’d chanted.

Carefully dislodging himself from you, Ony carefully sat you on the chair, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear before landing a soothing kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m so sorry pretty,” he lamented.

He’d thank you for speaking up and went on to inspect your body for any bruising. This wasn’t the first time you and Ony had gotten caught up in the moment and it surely wasn’t the first time your body was slower to catch up to his; but it would be the first time you’d felt all too tender to proceed.

You were still ready to go, but you definitely needed a little more prep and after confirming that you were okay to continue, Ony insisted on adding to the moisture with his rigid tongue - ensuring that you’d come at least twice before entering you again. He’d even let you ride him, after much convincing, and was hell bent on taking things slow tonight and for the next several days to come.

Reiner - Maybe his boss had pissed him off. Or maybe there was a discrepancy with one of his coworkers. Hell, maybe he’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but for whatever the reason Reiner was not giving you any moment's reprieve. If the head board that viciously slammed against the wall wasn’t indication enough, your sore pussy surely was. 

Not that it happened often, but you didn't mind when Reiner lost himself inside you. In fact, you’d insisted on it; insisted that he mold your body to his will all in the name of relieving his frustrations. But today felt different, felt unfamiliar. You watched as his lips came together to let out grunt after grunt - looking on as his eyes stared straight through you, dark and obscure. You’d even noticed the way he handled your body so carelessly, tossing you around as if you were a rag doll. 

And you’d begun to feel exploited. Like a stranger using your body to get himself off and the lump that bloomed in your throat had made the safe word almost impossible to say; but somehow you’d managed, and thankfully he’d heard. 

“SPARROW,” you’d yelped.

Reiner’s thrusting had slowed to a complete stop, confusion etched into his every feature; and finally you’d begun to see cracks of your boyfriend, almost as if his spell of anger was lifted.

He’d been mortified when you explained to him how you felt, dropping to his knees as he clung onto your torso in a fit of apologies. He stayed like that for a few minutes and when you both came to, you assured him that you’d be fine and encouraged him instead to talk to you before he decided to use your body as a sole source of relief. 

Reiner agreed, but things between you sort of fizzled out over the weeks to come. It felt like he was walking on eggshells when it came to you in conversation and physical touch alike; gently kissing you or even hugging you, almost like he was afraid that you’d break at the slightest pressure. No matter your efforts to assure Reiner that you were fine, you decided to let it run its course.

And over time, he’d learn to do a lot of self work and reflection in terms of getting to the root of his problems all the while being more open in discussing his true feelings and thoughts with you. You were overjoyed that he was finally taking the necessary steps toward improving his mental health. And when he finally felt comfortable enough to effectively communicate with you, to have sex with you, and to even get rough with you, well, it was divine.

Armin - Nipple play was Armins latest obsession. He’d gotten into it after a sexy session between you two and what started out as initial embarrassment turned into full fledged enjoyment. So much so that he’d encourage you to get in on the action as well. 

Although nipples were an erogenous zone for everyone, you couldn’t help but feel that yours were a little more delicate; or at the very least Armin had a higher tolerance for pain. Clamps latched onto each nipple, Armins hand was firmly wrapped around your throat as he drove into you again and again. There would be the occasional tugging of the clamps and what started out as hypersensitivity very quickly turned painful.

You’d tried to utter the safe word, but with Armin’s hand around your neck, the best you could do was mouth it and fortunately for you he was an attentive enough lover to catch it. Unwrapping his hand, you murmured the word once more for good measure.

“Sparrow.”

Still inside of you, he’d come to a standstill, peering beneath wet eyelashes in what you could only describe as panic. Fat teardrops hit your cheeks from above as he works to unlatch the clamps and pulls out of you entirely; the apologies never ceasing.

Seeing Armin so riled up had gotten you equally as emotional and before you knew it tears were sliding down your cheeks as well, arms flying around his neck as you held him close. The night grows quiet save for your hearts that beat against the others chest and when enough time passes by, you both decide to get some sleep, still wrapped tightly in each other's arms, choosing to discuss it in the morning.

Floch - Floch had turned you all the way out. You’d become perfect in every way for him and that included sexual. Ass hiked into the air, you bounced into the mattress each time he drove into you. And it’d felt great, it always did. But somehow you just couldn’t get into the groove of things this go round. To put it simply, you weren’t in the mood and it wasn’t until he was balls deep did you realise. Were you turned on? Yes. Was your body responsive to his? Absolutely. But your mind wasn’t in it and you’d wanted this session to end just as quickly as it started. No matter how far along you and Floch got into sex, let alone penetrative sex it was always crystal clear between you two that consent could be revoked at any time; and you decided to do just that.

“Sparrow,” was the safe word you so tiredly whispered.

Immediately Floch stopped thrusting, removing himself from you as he kissed up to your spine until he’d reached your neck, sorry on the tip of his tongue in between each peck. He’d carefully flipped you over and proceeded to shower your face in butterfly kisses, apologies continuing to spill from his mouth until you were able to speak. 

Worn out, you’d go on to tell him how you felt and he’d mildly chastised you for even letting it get this far. After all, he is a grown man and would never put his pleasure before your well being. Softly smiling, you thanked him and leaned in for an open mouth kiss.

To seal the deal, Floch went on to massage your entire body down with your favorite oils until your light snores lured him into his own slumber; eager to get a full night's rest so he could treat you to your favorite breakfast in the morning.

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

boyfriend erwin smith headcanons

- definitely has a very hearty laugh he saves just for you

- isn’t super into PDA but will have a gentle guiding hand on the small of your back

- he’s super into his work, often coming home late but makes sure to give you a kiss on your forehead while you’re snoozin

- walks around the house in just a towel after his showers!!!

- makes some mean chocolate chip pancakes

- surprisingly loves to bake all types of cookies for the holidays

- would definitely take pictures in matching sweaters for christmas cards

- will always zip up your dress or help fasten jewelry

- so enjoys barnes n nobles

- uses a ungodly amount of hairgel

- ^ super into his personal hygiene, always clean shaven and smellin so good

- quality time is his love language, loves to be in the same room with you as you both do your own thing

- you’re cooking dinner? he’s doing the dishes. you’re throwing in a load of laundry? he’ll fold em. this is a 50/50 relationship baby

[antoxsmith]

Finally Yours

Warnings – Smut, smut without much plot, size kink

Pairings - Erwin x Reader

Summary – Erwin and you finally get intimate, but it seems you both are way more desperate than you thought.

A/N: this is basically just a short smut I thought I should share.

"Erwin, it w-wont fit" you babbled, cheeks completely red, trying to look elsewhere but at his lusty eyes, your body squirming in shyness. He had you completely naked, sprawled over his desk, your legs wide open as he finally unzipped his pants after too much time of staring into your body and fingering you until you were ready to take him, a puddle of your wetness now running down your thighs to your bottom and to the desk.

When you felt his massive bulge against your stomach, you didn't even imagine how big his cock actually was. Now, with him rubbing the reddened tip of his hard member on your thighs, slowly moving to the center; you noticed his size; so big, especially compared to you.

Suddenly, you felt his hand on your jaw, softly making you look up to him, through glassy eyes that showed just how much you wanted it too: "Darling, I'll make it fit."

You had to suppress a moan escaping your lips, because of how low his voice had gotten. You always had a thing for that damn commanding voice; so determined, so smart and decided, and... so good to imagine while you circled your clit at night, silently moaning his name through gritted teeth and begging your comrades wouldn’t hear you through the thin walls in the HQ.

You were too caught up with his low voice and those bright eyes of his to even notice he was pushing in, his tip stretching you out in a way you had never felt before. Your insides were clenching around nothing, and you were soaking wet; and even like that it still hurt a little. But you would have been lying if you said you didn't love it; a high-pitched gasp and a small moan scaping through your lips proving it to you both. He held your legs open with a soft grasp, his thumbs making slow circles on your thighs and calves to try and soothe the stretch you were feeling.

Erwin couldn't stop himself from sighing, your pussy already feeling so good for him. Finally being able to feel you like this after so much time desiring you, watching you get all flustered just from his kisses and wondering how you'd get once he could finally feel your naked body in his arms. Now you looked so beautiful to him, truly a sight to see... and enough to make the Commander lose it.

He thrusted in as slowly as he was able to, forcing himself not to fuck you to oblivion right there. He wanted you to have a good memory about this as well. Instead, his hands gripped and massaged your thighs softly, and through small grunts he was able to praise you: "You are doing so good, darling. So good for me.” One of his hands moved up to your chest, slowly making its way up to your cheek. You were surprised with how soft his touch was, but all the feelings inside of you were revolting into a mess at the moment. You felt like crying just from how good you felt and how bad you wanted more.

He gasped as he felt your walls tighten. He wasn’t even fully inside, he was carefully pushing in little by little, getting you accustomed to the feeling. “Just a little bit more, okay? I know you can do it, princess."

The nicknames, the praises, his furrowed eyes on yours, his warm chest touching yours and the way his normally perfect hair was now starting to fall on his forehead; all of it had your hips circling on their own, seeking more.

When he caught that, he looked down to where your bodies were joined and then back up to you with slight surprise. You saw one of his veins on his neck as he gulped, using all of his strength to not pound you harshly. But you wanted it; you needed him; "Please Erwin, d-do it, please..." You pleaded, voice cracking as your eyes filled with tears.

You had no idea why you were about to cry. Maybe desperation, your cunt needing his cock. Maybe it was love, or passion, the fulfilment of having him right there with you after so much shy yearning. Whatever it was, it was nowhere close to hurting. It was begging, maybe even manipulating him to finally give you what you wanted.

And oh, he did. As soon as he saw you so vulnerable, opening up to him that way, he swore he fell in love. His soft grasp turned into a hard grip on your thighs, and you could swear his eyes darkened. Suddenly pulling out, Erwin thrusted right back in until he was buried to the hilt and you could feel his skin against your hips, eliciting a loud moan from your lips.

Erwin groaned your name as he started moving in a hard pace that buried him fully into your warm wetness every time and made your slick start to coat his base. He was finally able to just give in and fill your insides properly; feeling heaven as he did so.

Your moans and cries were music to his ears, specially the first cry you let out along with a "F-Fuck! Y-ou are so big.", your desperate hands struggling to grip onto the desk and reaching out for him. He leaned down promptly, hissing with a small smile as he felt your nails on his back.

He could feel all of you. The fluttering or your walls, how you tightened as soon as he re-entered you, the squelch between your bodies from your juices and his thrusts; your hands on his back and his arms as if holding on for dear life; your moans in his ears and the smell of your sweet skin in the air… It was as if he was completely surrounded by you in every way and form, and he loved it. Looking down to you and furrowing his brows in pleasure, he moaned your name lowly and suddenly buried his face in your neck, kissing and nibbling there sloppily as he kept on moving in and out of your trembling body.

"E-Erwin", you cried out as you felt his warm breath in your neck, his growls and moans right in your ear and sending goosebumps to your skin. The slightest presence of pain was there, barely even noticeable, but it was completely overcome with pleasure. There was a slight boom in your heart and your nerves every time he thrusted inside of you, and turned your thoughts into him, him, him.

The sounds you made were now closer to mewls and screams than to moans. It turned him on so much that he worried he might finish too soon, the familiar tingle in his spine telling him that he was getting closer to that edge.

His thrusts were getting erratic, and you had to hold on to him strongly so your body wouldn’t go up the desk and mess up all the work he was doing before you came into the room. “You wanted this” he grunted as his hands slipped down to your bottom and started bringing your hips up to his, reaching a part of you that you didn’t even know was so sensitive or was even there for that matter; you moaned words you yourself couldn’t understand as he kept manhandling you. “You wanted this, princess.” He repeated, finally leaving the space in your reddened and bruised neck, now looking up to you. His mouth opened in deep moans, “Now take it. Yes, just like that; oh, darling… fuck, you are gonna be the end of me.” He smirked through his own moans, moving his head back to get his blond locks out of his forehead.

"it feels s-so good, so good…" You moaned, short on air as you looked down and saw how your bodies joined together. He kept on bringing your body up to him at the same time he thrusted in, making your bodies slap together. You were amazed at the view of his hard member now reddened and bigger than before from the stimulation, there was creamy ring of your wetness around his base. It was a lewd image that would now stay in your memory forever.

"You like what you see?" He asked as he noticed the brightness in your eyes and how you had tightened inside. He smirked as he saw you nodd too many times, your eyes rolling back. He looked down and groaned, also mesmerized at the sight. "You have no idea how much I've -d-damn, how much i wanted to have you like this…"