#so basically i cant draw the whole day and it drives me actually insane it feels painful

[jorrated]

i cant believe my semester starts tomorrow and ill need to go back to pretend to being neurotypical.

[insarations]

Here’s this survey thing

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. dont use itunes anymore so spotify but same thing...santeria by sublime. she likes girls by metro station. different people by no doubt. we can make love by SoMo. when the end comes by andrew belle. my humps by tbep XD

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gwen Stefani, no doubt ;) :D

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "yeah" he said. The light turned green. I braced myself.

4) What do you think about most? um well it depends on the day and time and what not but I guess lately just a certain person. and also about traveling and where I wanna go.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes both

6) Do you have any strange phobias? eh not really strange..theyre all pretty common

7) What's your religion? Christian/non-denom

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking to the car or inside XD

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? No Doubt

10) What was the last lie you told? hmm honestly i'm not sure. I'm not really the lying type

11) Do you believe in karma? ehh... in a sense but idk

12) What does your URL mean? um well its part of my middle name... play on the word daydreams...cause i daydream alot lol

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? i hate that question lol

14) Who is your celebrity crush? it changes alot but currently Anna Kendrick

15) How do you vent your anger? depends. lately I workout. but sometimes I draw or paint or listen to music or just sleep really. sometimes i just reblog things on tumblr or write something

16) Do you have a collection of anything? um kinda... vans, i used to have a lot more cause I worked there but i guess i dont really anymore. books and dvds. um hmm...i feel like i used to collect something else but cant think of it

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? for the most part, yes. theres always room for improvement :)

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? hate-utensils scratching on a plate. love-my cats purring

19) What's your biggest "what if"? ugh, stop.

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both...but probably in different sorts of ways than most people believe in them.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right-beanbag chair. left-box of cheezits

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? the macncheese i just ate

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? hmm good question... idk really. i've enjoyed pretty much all the places ive traveled to

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? uh hmm no one comes to mind atm haha. im too gay i suppose XD but i guess ill say zayn

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? please dont get me started. i could write an essay

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? well yes i drive but dont have my license... never crashed.

27) What was the last movie you saw? Pitch Perfect 3!!!! so amazing

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? when I broke both arms at once

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? its something new all the time really im always obsessing haha i guess anna kendrick

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? ugh yes

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not usually..it depends. a lot of times its not even a grudge..i forgive easy but bitter feelings stay a while in certain instances

32) What is your astrological sign? aquarius

33) What's the last thing you purchased? a movie ticket

34) Love or lust? L.O.V.E.

35) In a relationship? nope

36) How many relationships have you had? 4...and a 1/2 XD long story

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? um just be myself..not really a weapon lol

38) Where is your best friend? i dont even know who that is anymore :/

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yes i think so..id probably annoy myself at somepoint. hell i already do lol but im alright XD

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? stop, help the dog. animals are just as important as people. if someone cant understand that oh well. i cant always find another job. but animals are life.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? probably those most important to me b) What do you do with your remaining days? quit work. go traveling. spend time with my favorite people and my animals and eat a whole hell of a lot lol c) Would you be afraid? maybe a tad at first but i'm not too afraid of dying, I know i'd be with God and away from the pain of this world. i'd moreso be a little afraid of the pain i might possibly have while still alive

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? hollback girl :D

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? so many things but just... two people that love each other that click and mesh and would do anything for each other and just make each other happy and take care of each other... alot of things i suppose though.

45) How can I win your heart? hmm. just be yourself. be respectful. be sweet. be funny..even if in your own dorky awkward way. be kind and thoughtful. put me first just as much as i put you first. just be genuine and real and true and never lie to me. just, be real.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? oh yes

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? hmm damn what a question. honestly.... I really don't know the answer to that. not that i havent made good decisions. but... idk what was the best. gotta think on that.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? hmm ive never thought about it lol honestly when i'm gone...do whatever the hell you want haha but i guess if i had to choose..something about my kindness or uniqueness ? idk i try to be kind and different lol

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." cant say right now

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? purple, black, silver, blue

51) What is your current desktop picture? its just black no picture not sure why i havent changed it

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? thats horrible. honestly i wouldnt do that to anyone..even the people i dislike most. well actually, maybe donald trump XD but no still even then i dont think i could do it even though i'm sure itd make america great again XD

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? hmm honestly idk im a very honest person

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? those are too many words you couldnt just ask me what superpower i want?? XD so now i'm gonna be a bitch and not answer

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? um. its between two. both of which involve time with someone important..cant choose which

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? losing people that were important to me

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hmm i guess if i had to choose right this second... anna kendrick.. pretty sure ive mentioned her like a hundred times in this survey

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? right now ummm...boston

59) Ever been on a plane? many times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Anna Kendrick. Channing Tatum. Jennifer Lawrence. Nicole da Silva. michelle rodriguez

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 3 “Back On My Bullshit” Alex S.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I am Back On My Bullshit and doing That https://youtu.be/VLVChQE7uY8

So last round, I almost died.  Everyone had apparently decided that between me and Patrick, I was the one to go.  I was the target and it wasn't like anyone was pushing for it, it was just that it was the idea settled upon.  It took me 23 hours.  23 hours to basically get it through these thick skulls that I should NOT be going home.  23 hours to shove Patrick under a bus and save my own ass.  And yet, with 1 hour left, another bitch got in the way.  Kage, in all his pointless paranoia, decided to try to reflip the vote in the last hour.  The FUCK?  I had worked so hard on flipping it that it made NO sense for it to be flipped back, especially not in the last hour.  I had convinced nearly everyone to save me, sans Tommy who had already voted and apparently Kage, and yet he tried to flip it.  WHATTTT the fuck?  So, I went into the one world chat like "lol Kage bye girl!"  And he apparently went right back to everyone and said "jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk!"  UGH.  He's a sweet kid and I get the paranoia because I felt it all of yesterday, but c'mon... At the moment, I trust Jonathan a ton.  He told me I was in danger and needed to push the idea despite me thinking everything was peachy.  I also love Crow and Jaiden for working with Zack and seeing how that mess turned out LOL and now working with me.  Crow was apparently really pushing for me to stay.  A motherfucking KING.  Sarah was also really nice about everything and helped me from the get-go.  Linus is m'dad and Alex is pretty rad!!  Ashley fell asleep oops.  But I think her and I would be good together.  And Richie was telling me the full truth the whole time which also woke me up to the idea that I was still in danger.  Also Junior is really cool and adult-y. I think now that I had to work SO hard to save myself, I should be in a better position on my tribe because I've had so many conversations with so many people, and a lot of it was strategy.  So I feel like people know where my head is at.  Right now, though, my target is between Tommy and Kage.  While I know Kage is a messy bitch, Tommy's won this game.  That's insanely dangerous.  And I know he voted early but girl.... he was the only one beside Kage and Patrick (who I was actively targeting)...

https://68.media.tumblr.com/9335ba85c23ae1f01a1348b1c31c3666/tumblr_n99wduhukv1sb2lomo1_500.png

Me and Brian

I apologize for not submitting a confessional round two. I definitely was in Omaha auditioning for American Idol and those bitches told me a deserved no after my voice cracked during auditions *starts to cry*. Literally my tribe is so supportive but I'm actually fine about it. It's kinda funny that they think I like wanna die because of it but I'm literally okay. I tried and failed and what matters is that I tried.

Sup Fuckerinos! First things first I'd like to apologize for not making a confessional episodes 1 or 2. I've been busy^tm. Also I'd like to thank the hosts for this opportunity! So recap I was placed on the heroes tribe with literally the entire Solomon hosting team, Johnny, and the Malaysians. So when we lost the first challenge an alliance was created consisting of me, Pippa, Andrew, Kendall, Drew, Alex, & Johnny. Mist was voted out 11-1 (and Mist voted for me :') kms) because literally everyone and their damn mother came to that conclusion with a little point in the right direction from our alliance. I'm not going to lie I'm kind of pissed that everyone wanted Mist when we had the opportunity to vote out someone who's more threatening like Drew, Steffen, or Andrew but if no one else is down to do it then I guess I can't do anything about that RIP Mist. Andrew wants to get out Kendall and/or Alex instead of Drew and I see where he's coming from but I think he's too trigger happy and I think he's failing to realize that there are and will be repercussions to the things he does. Including the backlash that he will feel from the other heroes even Pippa but I can't tell him anything because I obviously don't know anything. He's got such a fucking hard head but if he wants to be stubborn and reckless let him because I'm not going to let him ruin my redemption arc even if we are good friends. I'll write his name down and not think twice. I'll shed only one tear for what could've been but was ruined by his reckless ass. Also I have something with Steffen on the side so if worse ever comes to worse I have him and I really like Trace and Ruthie so maybe I could do something with that? Idk but besides Andrew I really like this tribe. Blood is going to start spilling soon so I hope these bitches brought their heels. 

Okay so I'm seeing myself becoming a lot nastier in the last few days....maybe these villains are rubbing off on my obviously heroic personality?? Firstly, I can now see why people had issues with Tommy in Cutthroat now....he's so hard to talk to... I feel he means well as a person but I just have a gut feeling that he's lying to me a lot.... Like about how his vote was locked "too early"? Seems convenient that you mention this to people AFTER the votes are revealed and you're in the minority? And then threatening me with the possibility of drawing rocks if it were to go to 6-6-1? Seriously? It's insulting... As of now, I'm probably closest to Sarah, Brian, Jaiden, and Jonathan so if I can maintain those relationships and reach out to the Linus/Junior duo I feel confident I can hang with these villains!

Listen I know this is my first confessional and that's awful of me but like I haven't had anything to say until this moment. If This selfie scavenger hunt Comes down to the geopositional division of the tribes And whose sun sets first Imma lose it It will be a tantrum And you will all bear witness to what happens when moving stress has pushed a person to the very edge, and the last string snaps.

Well, we lost another immunity. I am thinking maybe we should go afterJonathan, who pretty much did NOTHING for this scavenger hunt. But honestly I aint going to speak my mind because it could get me killed. In a game with this many people my strategy for right now will be to lay low, just not too too low. Hopefully Sarah or Tommy will run the show. For now.

WELL we lost again and im pissed bc i dont feel comfortable with my position on this tribe i havent formed good relationships with anyone and that's how i play these games by making 1 on 1 relationships with people that keep me safe until i can make moves but ugh idk theres just no one here that i........connect with???

So I guess my name is going around... I mean I am literally sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor packing to move so I can't really help being a little inactive on the chatting side, but challenge wise I have done quite a bit for this tribe so far, and I am really people can see that. but I mean oh well. 

HFDJKA;VHJDFKAL NOW I KNOW WHY THE FOUR OF THEM WANTED TO WORK TOGETHER FUCKING DREW ALEX KENDALL AND ISAAC WERE ALL IN MALAYSIA AND THEY DRAGGED ME AS THEIR FIFTH AND PIPPA AND ANDREW AS 6TH AND 7TH OML THEY GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT CASE TO TURN ON THEM. The only person I told I wanted Ruthie out was Andrew, but now I'm not even sure if I'd want to take Ruthie out this round because those four could be so threatening down the road, but I also have to keep in mind that those four all being from Malaysia is target enough when we all get together as heroes AND villains, so maybe I just take the safe route and go for Ruthie here, and then if we lose for the third time, that's when I pull everyone else into the fold and it can be everyone against the four of them to AT LEAST get Kendall and Alex out of here because they're too damn good. I'm trying to take out all the really good players early, but I also think there's a chance that'll make me oober vulnerable, so I'm not too sure what the plan is yet. I guess I'll just play it out for now and see what my closest people think. I'm definitely going to tell Dom, Trace and Steffen about the four of them all playing in Malaysia together. This is where my research gets me! FUCK YES!

Steffen is probably about to make a confessional about how I was moving 100000 miles a minute with everything I was throwing at him. Just be prepared LMAO

I hate this game. Every round, I think the game is going to simplify, but this villains tribe is a complete mess and I wouldn't be shocked if we lost the duel and had to go to yet another tribal council 24 hours from our current one. Apparently, the vote is between Ashley and Jonathan for being extra quiet this round.  What scares me is that I have no reason to really vote either out.  I'd much rather vote Tommy or Kage who I have no intention on working with in the future ever ever ever.  I don't have a personal issue with either, I just don't see myself ever working with someone who tried to vote me out.  It's not logical.  But then again, nothing that's happened on this crusty ass tribe has been logical.  Vote me out over Pat?  Majority said so until I flipped it (with some help who really pushed the move over the edge). This round, I guess I want Ashley to go?  But I don't want to draw lines.  I'd rather Kage go in an easy vote and that's that.  But it ain't happenin' and I really don't need my name circulating yet again. Here's to hoping I don't get idoled out or go via rocks... please...

BITCH the villains tribe is a fucking mess i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this vote is fucking ridiculous again no one has a clear plan theres no way of getting anyone to tell you whats actually going down its all just second hand names being tossed out and its like.... driving me fucking crazy theres 24 people still in the game so im just trying to lay low which im sure thats what everyone else is trying to do and thats why no one is just outright saying who they're voting for and like i get it but i want to die!!??? it looks like either jonathan ashley or kage are going... jonathan is inactive i've only spoken 2 words to him and he hasnt done anything to help in the immunity challenges so its easiest to vote him out but i liked him when he called out kage for his bullshit in the tribe chat so that was fun ashley is pretty inactive too but she helped more in the scavenger hunt BUT shes also wicked connected to people in this game from past tumblr survivor games relationships she has played with a lot of people in this game and thats scary to let her stay around and utilize those relationships kage i dont think is a real option but just ashley being mad that he is one of the ones that has said her name but i'd be cool with that because we've talked a good amount but i can tell he's a messy player he caused a lot of last minute chaos at our first tribal and i feel like kage tommy and linus have something going on so id like to break that potential group up idk whats going to happen bc this tribe is a literal disaster if i had to guess i'd assume jonathan will be leaving tonight and idc who it is as long as im still here (although i do need alex to stay for sanity reasons) i just dont want a tie or to be in minority and with that i guess we'll see what actually happens ugh why the fuck did yall think i was a villain fuck you i want to be over there with the good bitches 

God I keep half forgetting to make confessionals please don't hate me. I really do enjoy our tribe, winning challenges is great but I'm afraid that people are simply talking more than I am which is my fear. I'm around but not specifically talking with people. I hope the Early 30s know I'm working with them whole heartedly and don't try and back stab me. Other than that I'm living life and having fun.

 I have a feeling that an idol is gonna come out and I love being messy, so voting for Kage was just so he can be #afraid that his name came up. And like lowkey a fucking Sapphire idol could show up so who knows what happens with that. I'm just trying to fuck some lives over though so IF THAT HAPPENS, then maybe I'll be the only vote to eliminate Kage? Lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tGhgF8_Uxk third babes