#so does bobby roode

[christiancagesupporter]

Fighting over the prettiest girl at the dance

[buttdawg]

I’ve watched a few of Marky123′s videos on YouTube, since they’re usually pretty decent rundowns of bad storylines and runs in wrestling.  So I checked this one out because I was never entirely clear on what happened to Austin Aries, a wrestler I routinely confuse with Bobby Roode.  Long story short, this video filled me in, but I lost some respect for Marky123 along the way, because he kept bending over backwards trying to be “fair” to Aries.

Basically, Aries torpedoed his career with the following missteps.

1) During a 2013 Impact show, ring announcer Christy Hemme flubbed his name, so he berated her in the ring, then backed her into one of the corners and stood on the second rope, effectively putting his crotch in her face. 

2) At Bound For Glory 2018, Aries lost the Impact World title to Johnny Impact. After the bell, he immediately stood up and left the ring, no-selling Johnny’s finishing move even as Johnny was being handed the title belt.

3) During the height of the pandemic, Aries was so hostile towards face masks that he refused to sign autographs for fans who wore them. 

4) Also, he was one of a number of wrestlers accused of sexual misconduct during the #SpeakingOut movement in 2020.  I’m not sure if that should be considered a career misstep or just his personal dirtbag behavior being brought to light. 

Marky’s main defense of Aries is that the Hemme incident hasn’t aged well, but it wasn’t seen as that big a deal in 2013, and he was a heel at the time, so he had to do something mean in response to the botched intro.  The no-sell thing might have been a worked shoot that never panned out, which is flimsy at best.  As for the Speaking Out allegations, Marky isn’t convinced because of a lack of evidence.  I find this absurd, because there’s recorded footage of the Hemme and BFG incidents, but he downplays both.  Like all of the naysayers during the #SpeakingOut movement, Marky123 talks about “evidence” but he would just dispute it if he had it. 

The Bound For Glory thing being a worked shoot is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  It’s the sort of theory fans come up with because they saw something really stupid happen and they desperately want to find some sort of explanation to make it make sense.  From what I gather, Aries’ contract was going to expire the day after the show, which was why he was dropping the title to Johnny Impact in the first place.  If it was all a work, then the idea would be for him to make fans think he was being unprofessional on his way out of the company, only for Impact to re-sign him so he could return for another title program.  In this version of events, Aries is actually okay, guys!  He’s just pretending to be an unprofessional dick!  

The problem is that Impact didn’t renew his deal, so he didn’t come back, which leaves only three possible interpretations:

1) The no-sell was a shoot all along, and Aries really is an unprofessional dick, and Impact was happy to be rid of him.

2) The no-sell was a work, and Aries decided not to re-sign, thereby ruining his reputation.

3) The no-sell was a work, and Impact decided not to follow through on it, making Aries an idiot for letting Impact talk him into ruining his reputation for nothing.

There’s no way Aries comes off as a cool dude in this situation.  He’s either an unrepentant asshole or a clueless dope, but Marky123 doesn’t seem to be able to connect those dots. 

Overall, Marky’s thesis here is: Sure, Aries was kind of a dick, but does he deserve to get canceled over it?  And that misses the whole point: Aries didn’t get “””””canceled”“���““.   He alienated fans and promoters alike over the course of several years, to the point where no one wants to do business with him.  It isn’t a question of whether or not he “deserves” it.  His current status in professional wrestling isn’t a punishment meted out by the court of public opinion; it’s just the result of his behavior. 

Marky makes it out like maybe “we” should “forgive” Aries, or at least consider it, but who’s “we”?  I never gave a shit about the guy in the first place.  Then he started getting heat for his anti-mask horseshit, and that’s how I found out what a shithead he was.  I must have missed the sexual misconduct allegations, but I’m pretty sure he’d already burned most of his bridges by then anyway.  The rest of it all deals with him being unprofessional, and that’s a business question, not a forgiveness issue.  If promoters and wrestlers don’t want to work with the guy, that’s just them protecting themselves.  Every time I’ve watched the BFG footage, it amazes me that he pulled a stunt like that.   It’s the sort of thing a wrestler would only do if they plan to quit the business for good and get a cushy job in some other line of work.

And even if indy promoters are willing to work with Aries, it’s still up to the fans to decide if he’s worth showing up for.  If he’s still refusing to meet with fans over his anti-mask policy, then he’s just leaving money on the table.  If he’s that contemptuous of the fans, then eventually the fans won’t bother with him at all.  I’m pretty sure that already happened, but if he’s not careful, it soon will.  It’s not about forgiveness, it’s about supply and demand.  Aries has been killing demand for his brand for a while now, and lo and behold, he’s not a draw.

Like, am I supposed to pay to see him because I feel sorry for him?  That’s like saying we should all buy VCRs because the videotape format didn’t deserve to become obsolete.  No, Aries didn’t get buried, he dug his own grave.  Let the fucker lie in it.

[wrestlingisfake]

Raw Fake Rankings, 12/18/2022

Men's singles division - babyfaces

Kevin Owens

Bobby Lashley

Seth Rollins

AJ Styles

Johnny Gargano

Dexter Lumis

Mustafa Ali

Elias

Akira Tozawa

Men's singles division - heels

Austin Theory (WWE United States champion)

The Miz

Omos

Baron Corbin

The babyface side looks overloaded until you consider Owens is feuding with Smackdown's Bloodline faction, Lashley is doing something with authority figure Adam Pearce, and Styles is in The OC versus Judgement Day feud. Gargano and Lumis are somehow both feuding with the Miz at the same time, which seems like more than you really need to beat the Miz, but okay.

As for the heel side, I get the impression Elias will turn heel now that his team with Matt Riddle is on ice, but we'll see. Even so, it's a weak field. Theory, Miz, and Corbin all have the same gimmick of being hated because they don't deserve their spots, which works for generating heat but not for establishing credibility.

Men's tag team division - babyfaces

Karl Anderson (NEVER openweight champion) & Luke Gallows

Street Profits - Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins

Men's tag team division - heels

Finn Balor & Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest

Alpha Academy - Chad Gable & Otis

Jimmy and Jey Uso hold the Raw and Smackdown tag titles over on Smackdown, so all these teams are just waiting in line. Gallows and Anderson and the men of Judgement Day make sense as fresh challengers, but those teams are feuding with each other. I don't think Gable and Otis have ever gotten a shot on TV, so maybe that's something.

I don't personally think it's bad for one team to dominate the division across both shows for over a year, but you'd think they'd be setting up more new challengers by now.

Women's singles division - babyfaces

Bianca Belair (Raw women's champion)

Becky Lynch

Mia Yim

Candice LaRae

Women's singles division - heels

Rhea Ripley

Bayley

Nikki Cross

Women's tag team division - babyfaces

Alexa Bliss & Asuka

Women's tag team division - heels

Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky (WWE women's tag team champions)

Bliss is the next challenger for Belair, although that story seems to be more about whether Bliss will get pulled back into Bray Wyatt's business. Yim and Ripley are part of the OC/Judgement Day feud. I think they're setting up Kai and Sky to feud with Liv Morgan and Tegan Nox on Smackdown, which figures since there seem to be no teams on Raw for them to feud with.

No TV or PPV matches in over 30 days: Cedric Alexander, Dana Brooke, Tamina

No TV, PPV, or streaming matches in over 30 days: Commander Azeez, Dolph Ziggler, Doudrop, Reggie, Shelton Benjamin

Part-time/semi-retired: Brock Lesnar, Edge, MVP

Inactive

Carmella (personal leave)

Cody Rhodes (right arm - pectoralis tear)

Logan Paul (right knee - MCL/meniscus tear)

Matt Riddle (suspension - wellness policy)

Randy Orton (back - fusion surgery)

Robert Roode (neck - fusion surgery)

R-Truth (left thigh - quadriceps tear)

Tommaso Ciampa (hip - unspecified injury)

There are reports that Logan Paul won't need knee surgery, in which case he's probably penciled in for the next Saudi show and/or Wrestlemania. Cody can probably be back in time for Mania, though I bet they'll keep everybody guessing until the minute his entrance starts. Riddle is reportedly in mandatory rehab and shouldn't be gone too long, though I wonder if he'll miss the Royal Rumble.

I haven't seen any timetable on the others. I'm a bit worried about Orton, since back fusion surgery sounds like a lot to come back from, especially at 42 years old with nothing left to prove. Assuming Orton does come back, I'd be surprised if he returns full time.

[ariyadaivaris]

REAL 205 live loving hours here tonight on ariyadaivaris dot tumbler dot net

[wweassets]

Costume Contest anon here. Time for another round of "Fantasy Playgirl Photoshoot" sessions!

BROOKS JENSEN is sitting naked in a Southern dive bar at the bar, on top of a bar stool learning against the bar, holding a mug of beer. He's shot from the side, and he's arching his back and poking his fat, round ass out as he turns his head to the camera and smiles.

BRON BREAKKER is recreating the time he had his trunks pulled by Bobby Roode. He's sprawled across the middle and bottom ropes, and from the left, there is a hand pulling his singlet all the way down to his ankles, exposing his muscular ass. He's looking at the camera with an intense look in his face, and he's all oiled up, his naked ass glistening in the colorful lights on the NXT arena.

JULIUS CREED is in a locker room, wiping sweat from his head with a towel, and has his singlet and straps pulled down to his knees, sporting a huge erection.

WARDLOW is handcuffed and naked, flanked by security guards on his sides, and he's covering up his dick with his hands.

DREW MCINTYRE is standing on a hilltop in Scotland, holding his sword on his shoulder, looking into the distance, fully erect.

SETH ROLLINS is standing in front of a wall of flames laughing maniacally. He's wearing fishnet tights, revealing everything, and his erection is laid to the right and pointing to his hip, as it looks like it's gonna burst through the flimsy fishnet material.

LINCE DORADO is wearing his mask and playing pool, just like his Twitter teases. He's naked, and lifts his leg up to rest it on the table as he takes his shot, arching his back and showing off his ass and smooth hole to the camera.

MADCAP MOSS is wearing his red suspenders, which connect to a red cock ring he's wearing, which is making his erection point directly straight outwards.

AUSTIN THEORY is taking a nude selfie in a full-length mirror. He's tilted, so while his fat ass is pointed towards the camera, in the mirror's reflection he's making a goofie smile and showing off his erection.

So, who's getting the front cover?

YOU'RE BAAAAAAAACK IKTR😍

WHEW THESE ARE GOOD.. so good.. top 3 has to be bron, seth and brooks

but gotta give it to seth.. he deserves

what does everyone else think? x

[thatoneteadrinker666]

Unfortunately I have no updates on dream exterminator Wilbur (unless we want to count the two seconds I remember of yelling at him for a deck of playing cards and him- not giving them to me (so rood 😤) (I am half convinced dream me doesn't realize I'm in any danger and that- y'know what valid I can't be scared if I don't think I'm in danger, checkmate Wilbur, no fear scent for you.) that was the whole dream or at least all I remember of it lmao I wanted playing cards and be didn't give them to me =< how does he expect me to sit in a cage with no entertainment??) but I have more curious questions and headcanons to make up for it!

What do you think Wilbur would do if he ever accidentally swallowed Niki- he doesn't exactly seem like the type to let food out after it reaches his stomach after all- (I imagine he might snap even more if he ever lost such a tasty snack 😔)

Have Tommy's parents ever come across beeduo on accident? Like his mother is maybe tidying up a little and in the corner of her eye she just sees one of the borrowers scamper away (could lead to her calling Wilbur and taking him up on the offer of checking their house for borrowers-) which ofc Tommy would have to find a solution for- 😔

Does Tommy ever bring beeduo outside? (If only to the backyard or something when his parents aren't home) since it can't be great spending all their time just in Tommy's room 😔

Depending on the lock on Niki's cage I can imagine her having like a borrower sized bobby pin or something (actually that'd be like ridiculously tiny idk-) and trying to fiddle with the lock- (would she be able to reach it actually- like would her arms be long enough 😭)

As I said in reference to my recent exterminator Wilbur dreams about being put with Niki just so she bonds with another borrower just so he can eat them in front of her I can absolutely imagine this could happen with a borrower Jack 😭 (rocket duo,,)

He just suddenly puts another borrower in with Niki one day and she begins to think maybe she's not gonna be isolated from everyone but Wilbur but then Wilbur takes Jack one-day an Niki has to watch as he swallows him 😭

I imagine Niki's mental health isn't... Great so what if one-day she just- stops producing any fear scent, she's given in to this hopeless situation what would Wilbur do? (I imagine he'd yell at her or something- not at all sympathetic 😔)

-💖

Woooooow what a butt >:/ the audacity of him to deny you entertainment in the borrower cage. Smh my head. I’d simply revolt if he didn’t give me cards/ things to do. >:/// stabby time for him. Dream exterminator Wilbur is being very very rude and deserves a couple kicks >:/

He’d be devastated if he lost his delicious little snack. Knowing that he’d lost her due to his own greed. But Wilbur never practiced his spitting up skills. Also, once the food is in his stomach, it doesn’t get another chance. It simply stays there, like the food it is. Wilbur, while he’d definitely be horrified, wouldn’t bring her back up. That’s not something he does. He’d probably just wrap his arms around his stomach and stay awake until she stopped moving. It would be a major loss for him. Sad for him and for Niki :((((

Tommy’s mom has seen glances of Ranboo’s long tail, but first assumed it was mice being attracted to whatever junk Tommy left in his room. He probably kept a lot of snacks in there. She had half a mind to call an exterminator to get rid of the pests. But then, one fated day she actually saw the borrowers. And Motherinnit thought about getting an exterminator but they’re just so expensive. But there’s Tommy’s friend Wilbur.. who offered them a discount. She’s definitely thinking about it..

Tommy does bring them outside, but he basically hovers over them the entire time. He is not risking a bird or some other animal snatching up his beloved friends. No way. They deserve some outside time too, despite his room being a big jungle gym for them anyway. Fresh air is good.

For the cage I kinda just imagined it being like a hamster cage with one of those metal hook things that you kinda have to muscle open. Since Niki does have nimble hands but basically no strength behind them, it’s basically a perfect cage for her, since she can’t get enough leverage to open it. Plus Wilbur would basically take everything she has so no stowed weapons. If there was to be a regular lock, it would probably hurt her fingers to even attempt to pick it. And her arms aren’t that long, so even managing to reach it is hard. So she’s pretty screwed for now lmaoo 😔👊

Mmmmm that is a very good way to get that fear scent up. Get Niki a small friend, let them bond. Both think that they’re somewhat safe, since Niki told Jack that she’s been there for weeks now. So then maybe Jack is safe too? They get attached to each other, since Niki has basically been isolated from any borrowers in a normal setting (since the only time she does get to interact with borrowers is when Wilbur does his little competitions, and even then she has to watch them get gulped).

Of course naturally this was one of Wilbur’s fun little plans to get a good dose of fear scent from her. Letting Niki watch him swallow Jack and listen to his struggles, and then maybe pop her in his mouth. Push her extremely close to his throat before just letting her scramble into his hands. She’d live another day, but lost one of the few friends she’d gotten in Wilbur’s house.

And finally, the day when Niki just gives up. The day the fear scent runs out. Fear is like a nice topping on a meal for Wilbur. It’s good on it’s own but it just upgrades the food. Maybe he’d give her a few more days. Threaten her with sharp knives near her head. Slam his hands over her. Yell. And if that doesn’t work, well, it would be time to cut his losses. See if any other borrowers can taste as delicious. Unlikely, and it would be a real shame if he lost her, but eating plain meals can get boring.

[omegatheunknown]

On AEW's "Four Pillars"

I understand the metaphor is that they're a solid foundation for the future... but if it were me I'd avoid comparisons to the Four Pillars of Heaven and quickly append a descriptive word... The Four Pillars of... something. Point is, MJF said 'Pillar' a lot on Wednesday and I wanted to take a look at the boys individually and as a set. Threw in my 40 point scale for my own amusement, 30+ usually rounds out to 'main event talent.'

Notably, it's extremely obvious who this group is: under 30, in AEW from day 1, have shown star quality and have paired with a legend or two along the way. It doesn't include other good but less prominent prospects like Dante & Darius Martin, Lee Johnson, Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen, Brock Anderson, Wheeler Yuta, Lee Moriarty, Fuego Del Sol, Sonny Kiss, Brian Pillman Jr or uh... the Gunns. Daniel Garcia has a long future knocking down pillars, most likely.

Darby Allin (b. 1993 - 28) Work-7 Mic-6 Look-8 X-10 (31)

Darby Allin is neither the best wrestler nor the best talker, his look is the kind of thing that isn't 'cool' per se (many are dubious about the skinny hot topic skate geek when they first see him,) yet he commands attention and possesses an unmistakable aura. He also loves any and all dangerous looking spots. It's a tired comparison, but factor in his brooding sex appeal and he really is the natural heir to the charismatic enigma. They've paired him with Sting, he was CM Punk's first match in 7 years, he's held the TNT title, and in no small part due to his penchant for risk and flair for the dramatic in his self-shot artistic promos, he's been part of several memorable moments already.

He fights from underneath pretty much as a rule, taking a beating due to his size and powering through on daring -- he's definitely found a niche inside the ring. His pace is incredible, and he bumps like he means it. I think my biggest knock against Darby's long-term prospects are the alleged skeletons in his closet -- whether pro wrestling is doomed to always be 'carny shit' or not, it's in everybody's best interests to root out real life heels. They've confronted Sammy G's immature sense of humour, I don't know how closely they want to examine some of the things you hear about Darby -- but shouldn't they?

Sammy Guevara (b. 1993 - 28) Work-8 Mic-7 Look-7 X-8 (30)

'The Spanish God' does indeed have formidable gifts -- a face just straddling the line between cute and punchable atop a body that can match pace with the likes of Flamita, Rey Horus, Mike Bailey and even Ricochet back in 2017. Chris Jericho took one look at Sammy G and climbed right aboard -- it's been a long winding path (aforementioned suspension for gross 'jokes' included) through the Inner Circle and the Pinnacle and all that, but Sammy's star has risen steadily throughout, to the point where he can beat Miro and I'm not even upset about it really that much at all (it's fine.)

He's the best in-ring performer of this quartet right now, and he's arguably the most well-rounded. He's turned as a character once already, I think he's comfortable playing most sides in most angles. He's yet to have a big solo feud (Shawn Spears?) or stand-out match in AEW, probably his best match to-date was against MJF earlier this year. He's now the mid-card champion, so now's the time.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman 'MJF' (b 1996 - 25) Work-6 Mic-10 Look-8 X-8 -- 33

Any appraisal of MJF starts with his stand-out gift, which is praised so often people even start to levy complaints about him being overrated -- that's how you know MJF is great on the stick. Wrestling is very simple actually. Heat is heat, and cheap heat is different from lazy heat, and the clichés are clichés for a reason -- the boy's a maestro and there's no such thing as a wrestler 'peaking' on their promos in their mid 20s. He'll keep talking and finding ways to piss off everyone.

His ring work is of the old-school heel variety, which usually requires him to work to try and deny the crowd the exciting maneuvers of his opponent. Bobby Roode's NXT run is probably the blueprint for just how well this can still work, but at the time Bobby had been at it for close to twenty years (but hey, developmental...) He has a great look for where he's at -- big and strong enough to be a threat worth taking seriously and a smug mug that ranks pretty high on the all-time list.

I kind of want to quibble with Jericho as-Mentor: did MJF need a sparring partner on the mic considering he was already ascendant, and did Sammy need to be tagging with a middle-aged man to shine in the ring? He did accentuate their strengths, though, it made for good TV.

'Jungle Boy' Jack Perry (b 1997 - 24) Work-8 Mic-5 Look-8 X-9 -- 30

Youngest and most literally baby-faced, Jungle Boy is very over, on the strength of his boyish good looks, his fun tag team, his great theme song, and as of late, his being the Robin to Christian Cage's older version of Spiderman. One might expect the son of TV's Dylan McKay to be a little more natural on the mic, but standing next to an all-time snarker like Christian should help. He's still boyishly skinny but he's taller than Adam Cole and I'm not convinced he couldn't basically be Omega-sized in a decade.

His work suits his size and gimmick, he's daring and speedy, he's no technician but 'the snare trap' and other holds are laid in convincingly. Like the rest of the group he has presence, and he's generally booked well -- AEW has made sure to get him his reps and he continues to improve and is almost always adjacent to serious talent. That said, in his current form he's maybe plateauing. What's it going to take to turn this Jungle Boy into a Jungle Man, you know?

[writinglionqueen]

RAW Recap (10/5/20)

~kicking things off with a monologue from Randy

~Drew attacks him

~a 6 woman tag team match with Asuka, Dana Brooke, and Mandy Rose vs Lana, Natalya, and Zelina Vega

~Mandy gets the win

~Nia Jax comes out while Lana and Natalya are in the ring and attack them

~Drew Gulak pinned Truth for the 24/7 title

~MVP has an opening in the Hurt Business

~Seth and Murphy in which recaps what happened with Aaliyah, Murphy wants Seth to apologize to her, Seth refuses since he’s the Messiah and Murphy is the disciple

~Humberto Carrillo and Dominik Mysterio come out to attack them

~Humberto and Dominik vs Seth and Murphy

~Murphy gets the win but leaves Seth and makes the Messiah angry, Seth confronts him and tells Murphy he has until 10 pm EST to apologize to him

~The KO show where Kevin calls out Bray and the Fiend and what happened to Alexa

~Kevin will have to wait for the Fiend until Friday

~Kevin didn’t like that answer and was gonna seek out Bray but Aleister attacks Kevin

~Keith Lee vs Braun Strowman

~Ends in count out on Braun and then the two go at it

~Truth got his baby back

~6 man tag team between MVP, Shelton Benjamin, and Bobby Lashley vs Mustafa Ali, Apollo Crews, and Ricochet

~Apollo taps out to Lashley who put him in a Full Nelson

~Seth waits for Murphy to show to apologize to him

~Murphy comes out and Seth demands an apology and pushes Murphy which makes Murphy attacks Seth, leading to Murphy with a kendo stick and attacking Seth until he apologizes to Aaliyah, Seth does (kinda) and Murphy lets his guard down which Seth attacks Murphy (going for his eyes) and then attacking him with a kendo stick.

~When Seth goes for a chair, Aaliyah comes out to protect Murphy then Dom and the rest of the Mysterios come out

~Nia Jax and Shayna Bazsler vs The Riott Squad for the tag titles

~Ruby taps to Shayna

~MVP vs Mustafa Ali

~Light start to flash so the Hurt Business and Mustafa stand their ground BUT MUSTAFA GOES OUT TO THE RING TO CONFRONT TWO OF THE LEADING GUYS OF IT AND HE DIRECTS THEM FORWARD!!! HE IS THE LEADER OF RETRIBUTION!!!

~Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler, and Robert Roode vs Drew McIntyre and the Street Profits

~Randy got the pin over Drew

[placetobenation]

When it comes to this year’s Survivor Series, things look great at the top.

We’re all excited to see just how The Undertaker will give his Final Farewell and just how will the WWE present it to us. It’s rumored that we could have guests like Kurt Angle, The Godfather to be joined by Triple H and Shawn Michaels. The Phenom deserves a proper send=off! 

Outside of the traditional 5-on-5 matches, it’s champion vs. champion across the board. Roman Reigns vs. new RAW champion Drew McIntyre has that big fight feel. Asuka vs. Sasha Banks, although we’ve seen it before on multiple times, is still very good no matter the venue. Plus, The New Day and The Street Profits looks really good on paper and actually has some history lately with Big E supporting his teammates from across the show on SmackDown. I wonder if we get a heel turn for TSP and they end up beating up Big E at some point. Not really feeling the Sami Zayn vs. Bobby Lashley match as there’s no real consequence and no real heat between the two.

As for those elimination matches, both have done nothing in the build-up to their respective matches. It’s been all about how Team RAW hates each other. What a difference a year makes as one year ago, we were all excited about how Team NXT would fare across the board against RAW and SmackdDown. This year, do we really care which side wins? Not me folks. All of the bickering has left me disinterested as I’m sure the WWE will try to force some kind of Lana survives angle only to be dropped through a table again.

We’ll have predictions later, but for now, here’s the updated card:

The Undertaker’s Final Farewell

WWE Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Universal Champion Roman Reigns

RAW Women’s Champion Asuka vs. SmackDown Women’s Champion Sasha Banks

RAW Tag Team Champions The New Day vs. SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Street Profits

United States Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn

5-on-5 Women’s Survivor Series Elimination Match (RAW – Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Peyton Royce, Lana vs. Ruby Riott, Bianca Belair, Liv Morgan, Bayley, Natalya)

5-on-5 Men’s Survivor Series Elimination Match (Keith Lee, Sheamus, Braun Strowman, AJ Styles, Riddle vs. Kevin Owens, Jey Uso, King Corbin, Seth Rollins, Otis)

Dual Brand Battle Royale (Kick-off Show)

"I'm nobody's joke."

#WWENXT @LEONRUFF_ @RealKingRegal @ArcherOfInfamy pic.twitter.com/oD0UqkJRe7

— WWE (@WWE) November 19, 2020

Star of the Week:

Leon Ruff – Why not?! In the past two weeks, Ruff’s won two matches over Johnny Gargano and the North American Championship to boot! He’s stood up to Damian Priest and shown he’s more than just a jobber. Well done Leon!

RAW

RESULTS

Asuska, Dana Brooke, Mandy Rose defeated Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax & Lana

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day defeated Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin to retain titles

RETRIBUTION defeated Braun Strowman, Riddle, Sheamus & Keith Lee

Bray Wyatt defeated The Miz

WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre defeated Randy Orton to win title

HE DID IT!!!!!@DMcIntyreWWE is once again #WWEChampion! #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/XtVtVSGeZG

— WWE (@WWE) November 17, 2020

Monday Night RAW was all about the main event folks. Putting the title back on Drew McIntyre, as we’ve said before, is a good move. Randy Orton earned his win at Hell in the Cell, but Orton vs. Reigns had no feel for it. In just 5 seconds last Friday night, McIntyre and Reigns already felt like a heavyweight fight. They have history in the Royal Rumble. And they have the look of two big behemoths battling for one night and one night only (for now). I ilke it. I love it. I want some more of it. Good move for Survivor Series and for Monday nights beyond. Now, where does this leave Orton for Survivor Series? Also, I am digging the McIntyre/Sheamus vibe with their backstage vignettes. I wonder if Sheamus is lulling his old friend to sleep only to turn on him for a title show?

WHAT A MATCH!#WWERaw #TagTitles @TrueKofi @AustinCreedWins pic.twitter.com/zAeN1DdFxb

— WWE (@WWE) November 17, 2020

Now, outside of The New Day’s title defense of the RAW Tag Team Titles, the rest of RAW wasn’t really that good.

RETRIBUTION vs. Team RAW was just a waste of time and I’ll be ecstatic that we don’t have to hear about captains and who doesn’t like each other between Keith Lee, Sheamus, Riddle, AJ Styles and Braun Strowman any more. I have no rooting interest in any of it. The same can be said on the women’s side of Team RAW as well. Enough of Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler against Lana. YAWN! And now they drop Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose for Lacey Evans & Peyton Royce. Does nothing for me either way, although Evans is an upgrade, not that they’ll do anything with it, though.

.@LaceyEvansWWE and @PeytonRoyceWWE have been added to #TeamRaw at #SurvivorSeries.https://t.co/2FCVGuwtUM

— WWE (@WWE) November 17, 2020

Another Angel Garza vignette. Why?! Ditto for Jeff Hardy and Elias dredging up the whole car angle again. It wasn’t believable then. It’s not believable now. Move on!

NIGHT NIGHT!#WWERaw @WWEBrayWyatt @mikethemiz pic.twitter.com/WhpvW2D5UR

— WWE (@WWE) November 17, 2020

Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz was kind of just there. How quickly we forget that The Miz hated Wyatt/The Fiend for being in his daughter’s room, right? If nothing else, we got a really cool Alexa Bliss flip over John Morrison. Speaking of Bliss, I guess we finally have the kick-off of the Bliss/Nikki Cross feud.

NXT

RESULTS

NXT North American Championship Match: Leon Ruff defeated Johnny Gargano by DQ to retain title

Blindfold Match: Dexter Lumis vs. Cameron Grimes went to no-contest

Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell defeated Kayden Carter & Kacy Catanzaro

KUSHIDA defeated Arturo Ruas

Ember Moon & Toni Storm defeated Dakota Kai & Raquel Gonzalez

Timothy Thatcher defeated August Grey

NXT Women’s Championship Match: Io Shirai defeated Rhea Ripley

Ladies Night. War Games. OMG! NXT worked on every level this week.

W A R G A M E S !

#WWENXT #NXTTakeOver #WeAreNXT pic.twitter.com/dZE1HXpAo1

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) November 19, 2020

THIS IS AWESOME

,

,

x INFINITY #WWENXT #NXTWomensTitle @shirai_io @RheaRipley_WWE pic.twitter.com/ktlfcwFtIj

— WWE (@WWE) November 19, 2020

Wednesday night was on fire at Capitol Wrestling Center. Kudos to the women’s division that stole the night! Io Shirai and Rhea Ripley absolutely ripped it apart in the main event in another NXT classic championship match where both ladies come out strong and Shirai looks unstoppable at the top. Adding to that, we got the announcement from Shotzi Blackheart that War Games is coming December 6th. It looks like we’ll get Candice LeRae, Indi Hartwell, Raquel Gonzalez and Dakota Kai against Blackheart, Ember Moon, Toni Storm and TBD in what is shaping up to be an amazing match. BTW: Moon and Storm are everything Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose whould be on RAW. I can see them being future tag champs if the WWE wanted to go down that route. They are that damn good! Another good showing too for Kayden Carter & Kacy Catanzaro. Losing to LeRae & Hartwell is nothing to be ashamed of as they’re getting better each week.

Toni Storm & @WWEEmberMoon working together. We love to see it.

#WWENXT @RaquelWWE pic.twitter.com/Scf4U1gYw9

— WWE (@WWE) November 19, 2020

The cat, @FinnBalor, is BACK… and LOOK who he dragged in with him. BOOM.

#WWENXT @AdamColePro @theBobbyFish @KORcombat @roderickstrong pic.twitter.com/wRMsEMBpsC

— WWE (@WWE) November 19, 2020

On the men’s side of War Games, NXT Champion Finn Balor returned to close the show. But, when Baor was challenged to bow down his title to Pat McAfee and his new crew – The Kings of NXT, Balor brought out the returning Adam Cole and the rest of The Undisputed Era. Chaos closes the show as McAfee takes a wicked stiff shot to the face from Cole to end the night. TUE are veterans of War Games and it should be interesting to see how McAfee, Oney Lorcan, Danny Burch and Pete Dunn fare in their debut in the cages! It’ll also be interesting to see if McAfee actually gets into the match or if there’s a fourth member coming to join The Kings of NXT.

Elsewhere, good for Leon Ruff! Good to see him standing up to both Johnny Gargano and Damien Priest as he hangs on to this title when Priest clocks him to give him the DQ win, a DQ finish that actually works for the storyline, unlike so many of the DQ finishes on RAW and SmackDown.

We all could’ve done without the Blindfold Match between Dexter Lumis and Cameron Grimes. But then again, we told you that was coming last week and we’re glad it’s over!

KUSHIDA still rocks. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Timothy Thatcher will be a physical beating for both men.

Finally, who is the “she” that is coming according to BOA?

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

The New Day & The Street Profits defeated Sami Zayn, King Corbin, Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode

Last chance Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Natalya defeated Tamina

Murphy defeated Seth Rollins

Daniel Bryan defeated Jey Uso

Good to see The New Day and The Street Profits playing nice before their Survivor Series match. No shortage of bravado on either side, but they put it aside for an opening 8-man tag team victory over Sami Zayn, King Corbin, Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. Good match to kick things off, but they continue to misfire with Big E. Otis gets the nod to join Team SmackDown. Meh. Would’ve rather seen Big E get the nod. Looks like he’ll be limited to have some type of invovlement in the tag team match.

#TeamSmackDown is STACKED!#SmackDown #SurvivorSeries @itsBayleyWWE @RubyRiottWWE @YaOnlyLivvOnce @NatbyNature @BiancaBelairWWE pic.twitter.com/KeETofOmM0

— WWE (@WWE) November 21, 2020

Nice to see Bayley trying to unite the SmackDown Survivor Series women’s team now that it’s complete with herself and Natalya being added Friday night. I agree with Corey Graves. The SmackDown team looks stacked in comparison to Team RAW. Natalya’s match with Tamina was a snoozer though.

"@DMcIntyreWWE you will always be my favorite #2."@WWERomanReigns has been on

tonight.#SmackDown pic.twitter.com/qE2cIFdcvn

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) November 21, 2020

Less continues to be more when it comes to Roman Reigns. Perfect placement of course with Roman at the head of the contract table. Even when faced with a challenge from another show, WWE Champion Drew McIntyre, it’s still the same message. Reigns is THE CHAMPION and your tribal chief – the head of the table. All the arrogance continues to flow with a line of love. “You will always be my favorite #2” will live in WWE history as a great line from Reigns to McIntyre. It’s going to be a war come Sunday night between these two! Now, that’s good business for everyone.

Murphy vs. Seth Rollins put forth a good final chapter as Buddy finally gets the better of his former mentor, the Messiah. Murphy’s Law says Rollins is in for some time off after Survivor Series to welcome the birth of his child with Becky Lynch. It’s a good time for a break and to see what’s next for Murphy, Aalyan and the rest of the Mysterio family. I did think the celebration was cut short, maybe due to time constraints.

"I told you to watch your back, Banks! I just checked, and Boss Time is OVER." – @CarmellaWWE

@WWEAsuka isn't the only Superstar @SashaBanksWWE should be worried about. #SmackDown #SurvivorSeries pic.twitter.com/0kXjNFKkl4

— WWE (@WWE) November 21, 2020

SmackDown had a little too much talking this week, but it did get all of the main stars together from both shows to hype the PPV, which, at the end of the day, is the main job of the go-home show – give me a reason to want to watch the PPV. In that vein, it worked. It was kind of odd having Asuka just watch as Carmella beat Banks down in front of her though. Doesn’t help Asuka to help her and it moves forward Carmella’s story to take Banks out for a title shot after Survivor Series. So, for that reason, it worked on both fronts.

Jey @WWEUsos sends @WWEDanielBryan through the announce table!! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/YVpMrjOwzH

— WWE (@WWE) November 21, 2020

Daniel Bryan is a national treasure! Returning to face Jey Uso in a hard-hitting main event, Bryan again saw himself going through a table. Uso tried to make Bryan see there was nothing personal, but of course it’s all personal with family business. But, in true babyface form, Bryan gets his revenge with a sweet rollup for the victory. Could we get Bryan vs. Reigns up next for the title when Uso couldn’t get the job done? Sign me up!

Parting Shots:

So, will we really get The Rock vs. Roman Reigns at the Main Event of WrestleMania 37? The only way it happens is 1)it has to fit into The Rock’s schedule 2)there has to be fans. We would all love to see the fight for who’s truly at the head of the tribal table and just watching to see Reigns believe he is on The Rock’s level would be interesting. But, no fans = no match. No need to waste it with no in-person reaction.

It’ll be interesting to see how the WWE changes the look of ThunderDome when it moves from the Amway Center in Orlando to the spacious Tropicana Dome in Tampa. Going from a 20,000 arena to a indoor stadium will create different opportunities visual and could lead to letting in fans if the COVID-19 pandemic allows.

Survivor Series Predictions:

WWE Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Universal Champion Roman Reigns has a funky finish. Either it goes to a no-contest or Reigns wins via DQ with Randy Orton and The Fiend involved.

SmackDown Women’s Champion Sasha Banks defeats RAW Women’s Champion Asuka

RAW Tag Team Champions The New Day defeat SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Street Profits

United States Champion Bobby Lashley defeats Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn

5-on-5 Women’s Survivor Series Elimination Match – Team Smackdown (Ruby Riott, Bianca Belair, Liv Morgan, Bayley, Natalya) defeats Team RAW (RAW – Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Lacey Evans, Peyton Royce, Lana) with Bianca Belair surviving

5-on-5 Men’s Survivor Series Elimination Match –  Team Raw (Keith Lee, Sheamus, Braun Strowman, AJ Styles, Riddle) defeats Team SmackDown (Kevin Owens, Jey Uso, King Corbin, Seth Rollins, Otis)

Coming up this week:

RAW: Survivor Series fallout

NXT: The Road to WarGames continues Kevin Owens guest commentator

SmackDown: Survivor Series fallout

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND

[andymull]

WWE Elimination Chamber 2020 - Preview & Predictions

Nattie vs Liv Morgan vs Shayna Baszler vs Asuka vs Ruby Riott vs Sarah Morgan - Elimination Chamber Match - Winner Faces Becky Lynch At Wrestlemania

This is the main event?? Really? No offense to the girls but there’s only one winner in the match, the others haven't had feuds for months/ arent anywhere near a world title match at Mania quality/ have only recently returned from injury and isnt ready for the title feud just yet/ or should be in the middle of the build for a women’s tag title feud for Mania. This is bleak

They really have ONLY included Sarah Logan in the match just to solely have the Riott Squad former members face off for one spot, that’s it..... to even suggest she deserves this spot instead of Kairi is laughable. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that the IIconics haven't been on tv for what? 110 days is it now?

This is all Shayna build for the Becky match, any other winner results in a less heated match at Mania and isnt required. I still say that Shayna should have won the Rumble to really get her push started, and that Charlotte going to NXT didnt need her to win the Rumble to cause a big impact. Baszler dominates here for me, eliminates at least 4 of the others on way to victory with Becky Lynch stood cage side with a face of confidence slightly slipping after seeing the dominance - BASZLER

Unless Ronda takes out Nattie and enters the Chamber.......

Braun Strowman (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura, Cesaro and Sami Zayn - 3 on 1 Handicap Match

Four guys I like in a match I couldn't care less about sadly.

Will Braun go over clean and destroy any of the oppositions chances of getting another title match anytime soon, or will others come to his aid to support him?

Will any of this matter tomorrow?

Will they just have a multi man match on this weeks Smackdown regardless to find the challenger for Braun at Mania? I guess so - STROWMAN 

Bobby Roode + Dolph Ziggler vs Heavy Machinery vs Lucha House Party vs The Uso’s vs John Morrison + The Miz (c) vs The New Day - Smackdown Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match 

I imagine the guys involved here will have a number of spots planned for this to make the match memorable, as really the biggest spot of the match wont be the winners it will be Otis getting his hands on Ziggler............and the biggest cheer at Mania will be for Otis kissing Mandy as well.

So for this match I think we can obviously rule out the Lucha House Party, late substitutions for The Revival, as well as Roode/Ziggler and H Machinery as I see them fighting without the belts at Mania. So we are down to the front row of the image, for me I see the champs retain and we move to a three way for the belts at Mania between those teams - MORRISON/MIZ

Aleister Black vs AJ Styles - No DQ Match

I really wish this was on to put over Black as a massive threat and one of the next challengers for the title on Raw, sadly I think this ends with them building the Styles/Undertaker feud with Taker costing Styles the match and Black winning like an after thought.

I hope that puts Black in a position to go against Andrade down the road to take the title and elevate higher than its at currently (if he keeps the title that is)

But yeah this is all about the final moments of the match, the bout will see some great action but none of it will matter here as other things are more important for them.............unless they plan on Black/Taker vs The Club at Mania - BLACK

The Street Profits (c) vs Seth Rollins & Murphy - Raw Tag Team Championship Match 

So happy for the Profits to win the titles and hope they can retain tonight and keep them awhile longer facing great wrestlers to impress more.

The challengers dont need the titles, well Seth doesn't but Murphy could do with a belt to elevate his-self more but there are other options for that down the road - STREET PROFITS 

Andrade (c) vs Humberto Carrillo - United States Championship Match

These two always bring a great match when facing each other, id love for Andrade to keep the belt and move up to bigger challengers but it does feel like its time for Humberto to win the belt - CARRILLO

Daniel Bryan vs Drew Gulak

Im so happy that Bryan is getting to work with the guys he wants and help out others in getting better footing in the company.

Does he decide to try and put over Gulak to make him a serious threat, or just have a super competitive bout but ultimately take the win?

Whoever wins I hope Bryan carries this on and helps out others - BRYAN 

War Raiders vs The Boy Toyz

A late addition to the show on the kick off segment before the PPV, an easy one sided squash - RAIDERS 

-----------------

What a weird, strange looking card this is. Neither Lesnar or Goldberg are booked in a match, usually one of them has to defend in the chamber to make a massive men’s match but none of that’s happening tonight. So many great names are off this card with no sniff at being involved in the Mania build even slightly, straight to the battle royal for most I guess.

Hopefully afew of the matches should be great quality wise to enjoy and take in, and hell if not spend alittle money and join The Lapsed Fan’s Patreon and listen to their takes on the show and cry in laughter 

Everyone have fun and get your sleep in as the Wrestlemania card will probably start in afew days with how many matches they’ll have

Bye for now

Andy

[darkarfs]

This is gonna make so many horrible people unhappy. EVERY Takeover has had at least one match-of-the-year candidate on it. Some of the most emotional moments in that brand have come from cards that even aren't quite as good. I even considered not doing this list, because, by all accounts, NXT Takeover: Tampa isn't even going ahead. But then I thought, fuck it, let's celebrate, taken all together, for my taste, the best wrestling product in the history of mankind. It's not just moves; it's emotional investment, sharply-focused, character-based storytelling, intricately-performed spectactle from the greatest physical specimens ever to lace their boots. It FINALLY legitimized Western women's wrestling in the mainstream (Michelle McCool, Trish, Molly, Mickie, Jazz, Victoria, you all were stunning performers in your own right, but you and your kind were, until NXT, only given 3 minutes: the longest women's match IN HISTORY, until 'Mania 32, was Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James at Wrestlemania 22, and it got 9 minutes.), it's got some of the greatest tag wrestling ever seen on ANY brand, it's created the longest-drawn storytelling ever, it's the best of the indies, the best of the WWE, wrapped up in a sequence of shows that were epic without being FIVE FUCKING HOURS LONG.

Where do I even start...?

Honorable mention: Takeover: R Evolution (I have to, because I've only got 10) Sami Zayn spends over a year, clawing and sweating and tearing walls down, just to get to the top of the mountain in NXT. He has the opportunity to cheat, but does it his OWN way, as beautiful, unique babyface Sami Zayn...before being no-scoped by his best friend, who debuted THAT NIGHT. The undercard isn't as strong, so I can't officially include it, but this payoff, this triumph, and this tragedy represents everything the first era of NXT was, and kickstarted it, truly, onto its first golden era. So, properly, then...

10. Takeover: Rival If you leave this list feeling like the title reigns, and thus, ERAS, of Zayn/Owens are a little under-represented by it, I completely understand. After all, so much good came from that time. American Alpha soldifying themselves as the dominant tag team, the Iron-Woman match between Sasha and Bayley, Becky Lynch putting all the pieces together, Enzo and Cass actually being GOOD...it was, still, at its heart, a developmental brand at that time. It had indie megastars, yes, but it also had the likes of Bull Dempsey. And that's not a dig at Bull Dempsey, it's just that those early Takeovers were an eclectic mix of skill levels, which is what NXT was at that time. It was a place to showcase these people. That said, some of these cards were truly *fantastic.* Case in point: Takeover: Rival. Not only was the undercard completely stacked (Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze over-delivered; we had the first and still SOMEHOW ONLY Fatal 4-Way match between the Four Horsewomen; and Finn Balor vs. Neville was a solid match of the year candidate), but the main event was the first step in one of the most storied rivalries in the history of wrestling: Zayn vs. Owens. The video package is one of the best NXT ever did, and the match...was a masterpiece of simple-but unexpected booking. Zayn mistimes a leap to the outside, hits his head, and Owens responds by powerbombing him over...and over...and over again, until the ref stops the match. Zayn loses nothing, because he was never pinned, Owens is made to look even MORE the loathsome monster, and Zayn's title reign ends after just a month, without the champion nor the championship devalued in any way. It showed that NXT knew, even then, how to reward fans for their emotional investment.

9. Takeover: Portland Right now, NXT feels like it's approaching the very end of a special time in its life. Like it's on the verge of hitting critical mass. One of either Gargano or Ciampa probably leaving the company after the next Takeover, and the reign of the Undisputed Era seems to be crumbling, too. In yesteryear, this would indicate a raft of very important call-ups, neccessitating a shift in the roster and a period of calm centered around more patient character-building. NXT's existence now as a third brand throws that formula into uncertainty, but it definitely feels like they're ramping up to a finale, because goddamn, this is NXT almost at a point of self-parody. Every match is so. MUCH. Lee/Dijakovic is the pinnacle of HOT wrestling (and Lee, will you marry me?) Bianca Belair breaks out as an actual superstar...just as Charlotte decides to visit and to ruin everything, which is just dreadful timing. Gargano/Balor being everything we need it to be, and also Balor pinning Gargano with his fucking dick. And the Broserweights being VERY DUMB...but also VERY, VERY GOOD. The only thing that lets this card down...and this is obviously subjective...is that NXT has almost come TOO FAR, now, in its delivery on its main events, in that every kickout starts to beggar belief. On the level of Triple H/Undertaker at Wrestlemania 28, in that I still love it, but...hoo, it can be exhausting. Depends on how much Ring of Honor you like in your gumbo, I guess, but it feels like everyone on the roster is racing toward Tampa to explode, like a wrestling Crisis on Infinite Earths, and then MAYBE...things can calm down. Just a hair. Y'know, if Tampa even...still happens.

8. Takeover: Philadelphia If there's one man that's become synonymous with NXT, it's Johnny fucking Wrestling. You know, what would happen if a meerkat put on muscle mass and became the best set-piece wrestler this side of Daniel Bryan. We knew since he started his tag team with Tommaso Ciampa that he was an exceptional wrestler, but it wasn't until Philadelphia, and his INSANE match with Andrade "Cien" Almas, that we saw him as truly the industry's next star. It was the first Takeover match to go over 30 minutes (Sasha/Bayley at Respect went EXACTLY 30, don't @ me), it was the first NXT match to get 5 stars from Dave Meltzer (if that matters to you), and it set a new bar for Takeover main events. And while the undercard doesn't live up to it, it's still loaded with excellent matches. A.O.P. vs. the Undisputed Era is something special. Shayna Baszler makes her Takeover debut, and while she's nowhere near her prime, it cemented her immediately. Velveteen Dream and Kassius Ohno have a very fun match, and Aleister Black and Adam Cole have a ludcriously stupid no-holds-barred match, featuring two men doing with chairs what no one ought to do with chairs. But as good as all of that is, it's really a one match show, but what a match, and Ciampa ending it by being an utter bastard yet again.

7. Takeover: Brooklyn I Does the first Brooklyn Takeover feature Canadian Destroyers, 18 kick-outs and "fight forever" chants? It does not. Does it create moments of wrestling happiness that are rarely, if ever, replicated? It sure does. Firstly, Blue Pants appears and helps the Vaudevillains defeat Blake and Murphy. Seems quaint to look back on it, but it made everyone SO goddamn HAPPY that night. If you're forgetting, Leva Bates (that wrestling librarian in AEW right now) was once a comedy jobber in NXT, who wore Blue Pants. Adorable. Ignore what happened on the main roster (which is something you'll probably have to do with a lot of these shows, I imagine), but the Vaudevillains were once incredibly over (I promise!), and their win was one of several beam-inducing moments from this stellar night. Samoa Joe destroyed Baron Corbin at the height of his game, Apollo Crews debuted brilliantly (again, ignore what happens next!) and Balor and Owens' ladder match was also fantastic. Also, what's Jushin Thunder Liger doing here?? Wrestling like he's in his early 30s, that's goddamn what!! But of course, the reason we're all here is Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, and...there's still something in my eye. Anytime people want to rag on NXT for being "predictable," remind them that giving the people a moment they've genuinely prayed for...is a good thing. Bayley besting Sasha Banks at her prime just made us all...so happy. All of us. Everyone. When that curtain call took place, it was so earned. The narrative of women's wrestling dominated most of 2015, and this moment, this match, was the apex of that narrative.

6. Takeover: Chicago I And speaking of feelings...hello, Ciampa, you godless fuck. And so begins maybe the actual greatest rivalry in all of NXT. It is truly an odyessy, with twists, turns, injuries, betrayals, wounds torn open, and this is the nexus point. Well, the seeds had already sort of been planted, because Triple H knows what he's doing. Ciampa almost ALMOST turns on Gargano after their terrific match in the Cruiserweight Classic, only for the team to die another day...and what a death it was. After a great ladder match, the two stand atop the ramp, and you think "will it happen?" And the absolute bastards show you the copyright logo, just to make you think the show ends there, because it always does, seconds after that happens. You unclench, you breathe out, relax...Ciampa whispers "this is MY moment" and then...It is a perfectly engineered bait-and-switch, and exactly as vicious as it needs to be. Pats on the back, all 'round. This moment alone makes this a worthwhile Takeover, but there's also a hell of an undercard. The women's triple-threat (Ruby Riott vs. Asuka vs. Nikki Cross) is stellar, Bobby Roode and Hideo Itami have their respective best Takeover matches ever, and then there was Tyler Bate vs. Pete Dunne. An absolute show-stealer of a match, a star-making performance for both men (especially Dunne), it cemented the career of several men, and was a fully-formed GREAT show, as opposed to a good show in service to a storyline.

5. Takeover: Brooklyn IV Gargano and Ciampa's battle of brotherhood, betrayal and brainwashing was supposed to blow off at Takeover: New York, but because God hates necks, Tomato Champion was out of action, making this the final singles encounter to date, until Tampa (again, IF it even happens). This is the weakest of their 3 excellent encounters (which still makes it better than any match over SummerSlam weekend), but it also features Johnny Stupid running into a speaker, because his dumb ass can't seem to quit Ciampa. It's one of the greatest long-form feuds for a reason, mirroring Bret and Owen from 1993 into 1994, with all the repeated imagery, the callbacks, the nuances, the psychological cruelty. The street fight at Chicago II is MAYBE better, but this undercard, for me, is a lot stronger. It featured the Undisputed Era vs. Moustache Mountain, aka the Brothers Shithead vs. the Proud Circus Bear and His Beautiful Son. Velveteen Dream vs. EC3 was the closest NXT got to WWE-style storytelling and was still brilliant (remember when EC3 wrestled?), and HEY, wouldn't you know it, Kairi Sane was once a character with dimensions, as evidenced by an amazing match with Shayna Bazsler. But what makes this undercard truly stellar is Adam Cole vs. Ricochet. It is so nice to see Ricochet used well, etc., but I will still never stop pissing myself at Cole nailing him square in the jaw with a superkick WHILE HE'S MID-MOONSAULT UPSIDE-DOWN SWEET JESUS. Sometimes...sometimes...things fall exactly into place.

4. Takeover: WarGames (2018) The WarGames Takeovers are just so silly. It's a silly shoebox, filled with huge, silly men who only barely know why they're killing each other. It's as close as we ever get to WWE's now-terminal problem of "set aside whatever feuds you have right now, because it's Stipulation Month!" (see: Hell In a Cell, most Money In the Bank shows, though Elimination Chamber largely sidesteps this). The other Shoebox Takeovers are really good, no doubt, but this one stands head-and-shoulders above the rest. But there is not a bad match on this card. Kassius Ohno rides Matt Riddle's knee all the way to heaven; NXT shows why 2-out-of-3-falls is fast becoming its signature stipulation with the excellent blowoff between Sane/Baszler; Sexy Mindgames Prince had a star-making match against Tommaso Ciampa, showing why he may be the best overall character in NXT right now, and sweet lord, Aleister Black vs. Johnny Wrestling. It somehow showed that Gargano was JUST AS, if NOT MORE engaging as a dirtbag than as a good guy. And those Black Masses are presents just for me, a guy who tends to like more community theater in his wrestling than flips ("I ABSOLVE YOU...OF ALL YOUR SINS!"). And then we get to the Shoebox, and gosh it's silly! The Viking Experience, Ricochet and Pete Dunne take on the Undisputed Era, and...its a fucking LOT. 45 minutes of spots and smashing, with just a sprinkling of story, with Fish locking Dunne in his cage so he can't participate in the match. Since this seems to be what this match is designed for...let's rattle off some spots! Ricochet, jumping from one ring to the other! That amazing face-off that recreates the Captain America: Civil War poster! Perhaps the beefiest Tower of Doom in all of wrestling! And then Ricochet proving just how amazing he is...with the double moonsault off the top of the cage. What a stupid thing to do in an amazing, amazing show.

3. Takeover: Dallas I get it; a lot of people might not rank this Takeover quite so high. But it might be my actual personal favorite...? Overall...? More than any other Takeover, this show feels the most like it's filled with living, breathing superheroes. Many NXT stars are seen as just indie guys whose only gimmick is "I'm a very good wrestler," making them almost anti-WWE at the core. But NXT doesn't get enough credit for being, at its core, the best aspects of WWE. The showmanship, the things that elevate mere wrestlers to things like monsters, gods, and demons. I will always like my NXT WWE-style: the best wrestling cut with the most theater, the most camp. And Dallas is that concept, writ large. Baron Corbin coming out with lil' skulls on his shoulders. American Alpha finally becoming Super Saiyan Nerds. Asuka killing our hero, because Bayley is a person, and Asuka is a goddess who can perform brain surgery with her feet. Finn Balor coming out and going actual Texas Chainsaw Massacre on Samoa Joe. It's excellent wrestling, near-mythic visuals...and then we get to Nakamura/Zayn. The most special moment of a very special night. It is, from nearly every perspective, perfect. The hype of the crowd, salivating with anticipation. That moment when Nakamura appears in silhouette, and that violin note slides like a knife across steel, to reveal the man who set New Japan aflame. Sami Zayn getting the best possible swan song in a promotion built almost entirely on HIS back. The end of his era. That bit where they just KEEP PUNCHING ONE ANOTHER. I know it's not a perfect show (Balor/Joe stops for 3 minutes to address a cut on Joe's forehead, stalling its momentum; that Corbin/Ares match isn't as good as it could be) but that all means nothing. It's a sentimental choice, and I'd make it #1 if I could.

2. Takeover: New Orleans I went around and around in my head, and this one and #1 kept jockeying for position in my brain. But these top two Takeovers are literally note-perfect, from ship to shore, soup to nuts, top to tails. So if this is YOUR favorite? (Honestly, maybe 1 person I know who loves wrestling as much as I do will even see this mess). I'm here for you, and I understand. But this show has TWO 5-star matches from the Wrestling Observer, and I don't ever agree with that. In this case, I agree with BOTH, in the North American Championship ladder match, and the first (and so far, BEST) match in the Gargano/Ciampa feud. Everything. Is. Amazing. Shayna Bazsler became Women's Champion after BEAST-MODING her SHOULDER back INTO IT'S SOCKET to show that, YES, she gets pro-wrestling. Roderick Strong shocked the world (and the System) by joining the Undisputed Era and becoming the final Chaos Emerald needed to make that stable Super Sonic. Aleister Black took the championship from Andrade "Cien" Almas and SMILED, I fucking SAW IT! And it all depends on what you want from your wrestling, but Gargs/Tamps might actually be the best main event in Takeover history, at least from a storytelling standpoint. The crutch, the neckbrace. Each man going back to their DIY roots (the tag team - they didn't build another ring when that one broke), and then sitting side-by-side, like they did at the Cruiserweight Classic. Brothers. Completely spent. Destroyed. No one but each other. And then Ciampa shits any chance at redemption up the goddamn wall, cementing his own destruction. Every. Bit. Counts.

and #1...

Takeover: New York For a whole bunch of other wrestling fans, this has the greatest main event in Takeover history. But first, let's take a minute to appreciate how lucky we are, or were, that NXT exists. It justfies the existence of WWE, artistically, almost by itself. If this one's only slightly worse than New Orleans, it is argued, it's that the North American title ladder match was TOO good, and hurt every other match on the card. It has been argued. Not by me, but this one is somehow the most perfectly paced, perfectly sized wrestling card, on its own, ever. Every match, through alchemy or magic, manages to enthrall the crowd equally, and completely. The Viking Raiders vs. Grumpy Smaller Undertaker and the Human Pinball was off the hook incredible, and that warm "thank you" feeling has translated, currently to a man trapped in a room and a man trapped in Vince McMahon's scorn for smaller wrestlers, respectively. Matt Riddle and Velveteen Dream put on an absolute fantasy match, pitting the best of MMA vs. the best of WWE-style theatricality, and adds to the complete, demented character-world of this brand, and the fact that Dream WINS against one of the hottest new prospects is so deserved, and shows that he can, and will, shine forever brighter. Then AAAAGH WALTER vs. Pete Dunne! WALTER LAYS into poor Dunne, his chops alone having you believe that after the match, he's going to run into the arena's parking lot to FIGHT THE CARS. Then Shirai vs. Baszler vs. Sane vs. Belair and goddammit how do I even expound on that without crashing thesarus.com? And then Johnny Gargano and Adam Cole wrestled for. 40. MINUTES. With Gargano as the defacto heel because it was allegedly Cole's time. And by the match's end, he had the crowd more behind him than maybe they ever had been before. Is it a bit much? Yes. Too many kickouts? Probably. But it stands as the apex of Johnny Wrestling's journey. After everything had been taken from him: DIY, his health, his sanity, even his chance at revenge...the only thing he has left is the NXT Championship. And in that moment, he is invincible, he is more than enough.

What a show. What a host of shows.

Thanks for reading, everyone.

[ohnojustimagine]

Not The One That Got Away

Robert Roode/Reader; fluff, 720 words

-

There was always something between you and Bobby, back in the day in NXT. Some kind of weird flirtatious chemistry, and though you both talked a good game with it, seemingly forever determined to one-up each other with innuendo-laden banter and the occasional inappropriate-yet-welcomed touch, nothing ever actually happened. Nothing real, anyway, and you're not even sure why, when you think back now. Timing, maybe, or perhaps it just wasn't meant to be, one of those things that's more satisfying never going any further, never acted on.

But then you moved up, and he didn't, and when he finally did show up on the main roster, you mostly never seemed to be on the same brand at the same time. And besides, you weren't so certain you liked this Bobby, the one who'd apparently overnight become an earnest good guy eager to earn the crowd's favor rather than the unapologetically arrogant, ego-driven asshole you'd so enjoyed.

So you’d put him out of your mind, moving on, but now, with the shake up, you're back on Raw. It's a few hours before your first show, and you're wandering around backstage, refamiliarizing yourself with the slightly different set-up, the new crew.

"Well, hello," someone says from behind you, their tone insincere, ingratiating yet somehow still charming and you'd recognize that voice anywhere.

You turn, and you have to actively stop yourself from gasping out loud. Because, to your delighted surprise, he's shaved off the beard, leaving just a mustache, and it's abundantly thick and lush, making him look like a rock star from the seventies or someone's creepy uncle but in a really, really good way.

You swallow, taking a moment before you speak, but then you say, "Hey, Bobby.”

"Actually," he replies, with a smile that's all teeth, "I go by Robert now."

And you can see it in his eyes, the way he's carrying himself, his whole demeanor; the old Bobby is back, that smug sleaziness you used to love so much returned in full force and you honestly don't know if you're up to resisting it this time around.

You nod, slowly, trying to gather yourself, not give too much away. "And a new look," you say, "to go with the new name."

"You like it?" he asks, smoothing down his mustache, stroking his thumb and forefinger across it, and god, you think, that shouldn't be hot, but it is, and suddenly all you can think about is kissing him.

"You look like a porn star," you tell him, airily, falling back into old habits, keeping things light, flirty and superficial.

"What a coincidence," he replies, taking a step closer to you, too close, and he smells so good. So good. "Because I make love like a porn star too."

And you're in control, you tell yourself, you can do this. "Yeah," you scoff, "pretty sure porn stars don't make love, Robert."

"What do they do?"

"They fuck."

"Then maybe I fuck like a porn star."

"If you have to say maybe, then no, you don't."

"How do you know?"

"Because," you say, aware you're going way too far, "I really do fuck like a porn star."

He smiles at you, again, and there's a hint of something more sincere in it, an unabashed want. "Do you now?" he says. "And what does that mean, exactly?"

You shrug with consciously affected nonchalance, and you've missed this, you've missed him, so very much. "Well, if you have to ask..."

He laughs, almost theatrically, and perhaps this is all just a performance, but then perhaps that's what you’ve missed more than anything, this game of back and forth that’s all in the subtext, with the truth never quite spoken. “Touche," he rejoins, amusement lingering in his expression. "But you could show me," he says, a little softer now.

And yeah, you think, you're not letting this slip away, not this time. "Maybe later," you tell him. You run one finger down under the lapel of his suit jacket, teasing at the edge of it, barely feeling the solid bulk of his chest beneath. "Maybe we can ride together."

"I'd like that," he replies.

And you smile. “Then come find me,” you say. “When the show’s done.”

[wrestlingisfake]

Raw Fake Rankings, 11/2/2021

Men's singles division - babyfaces

Big E (WWE world champion)

Damian Priest (WWE United States champion)

Finn Balor

Kevin Owens

Keith Lee

Men's singles division - heels

Seth Rollins

Bobby Lashley

Apollo Crews

Austin Theory

Unranked: Jaxson Ryker, John Morrison, T-Bar, Veer

It's looking like the main direction for Raw is Big E vs. Seth Rollins, with a potential Kevin Owens heel turn on the horizon. (Owens may or may not leave WWE in January, so how he's presented over the next three months could be interesting.) It feels like the didn't get enough out of Big E vs. Bobby Lashley, but they could be saving that for the Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania.

Beyond that, I would expect at least one of the top tag teams to split in the next six months, which would put Randy Orton, AJ Styles, or possibly Rey Mysterio back into the world title hunt.

In the meantime, you'd think the lack of depth would give guys like Lee, Theory, Ryker, Morrison, T-Bar, and Veer a chance to heat up. But then you remember what company this is. It looks like Theory and Veer might get a little push but I'm feeling like they'll be in the 24/7 title squad before too long.

Men's tag team division - babyfaces

RK-Bro - Randy Orton & Matt Riddle (WWE Raw tag team champions)

The Street Profits - Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford

Rey Mysterio & Dominik Mysterio

Men's tag team division - heels

AJ Styles & Omos

Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode

Alpha Academy - Chad Gable & Otis

Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander

Nearly every tag team switched shows in the draft, which seems like a big change until you realize it's mostly window dressing.

I assume the long-term plan is for one of these teams to take the title from Riddle & Orton, leading into a Riddle vs. Orton feud. But I don't get the feeling it makes a difference which team does it.

Women's singles division - babyfaces

Bianca Belair

Doudrop

Liv Morgan

Tamina

Dana Brooke

Women's singles division - heels

Becky Lynch (WWE Raw women's champion)

Well, at least Becky has plenty of opponents lined up until they realize the heel turn isn't working and quietly make her a face without explanation.

Women's tag team division - babyfaces

Nikki ASH & Rhea Ripley (WWE women's tag team champions)

Women's tag team division - heels

Zelina Vega & Carmella

I guess these two teams will feud for a couple of months. After that, who will WWE randomly throw together? I'm going to go out on a limb and predict Liv Morgan and Doudrop. I only need to predict one team because they would never think far enough ahead to set up two or three.

No TV matches in 30 days: Akira Tozawa, Commander Azeez, Drake Maverick, Karrion Kross, Mia Yim, Reggie (WWE 24/7 champion), R-Truth, Tegan Nox

I don't count the 24/7 title shenanigans as "matches" unless somebody successfully wins the title, so the usual gang of 24/7 guys (Reggie, Tozawa, R-Truth, and Maverick) are probably stuck here for a while. I could kinda see Karrion Kross running around chasing Reggie with his goofy helmet on, so that's something to look forward to.

Part-time/semi-retired: Edge, Goldberg

Inactive

Alexa Bliss (sinus surgery)

Asuka ("free agency")

Elias ("free agency")

Eva Marie ("free agency")

Gran Metalik ("free agency")

Lacey Evans (maternity leave/"free agency")

Lince Dorado ("free agency")

MVP (broken rib/"free agency")

Nia Jax (storyline injuries)

Slapjack/Shane Thorne ("free agency")

Titus O'Neil ("free agency")

The Miz (appearing on Dancing with the Stars)

I assume that Bliss, MVP, Jax, and Miz could all be back in action at any time. Evans just gave birth so I wouldn't expect her to return for at least 3-6 months.

The storyline of the draft is that everyone who didn't get picked is a "free agent" that can go wherever they want. Most of the undrafted names had been assigned to Raw, so I'm leaving them here until they show up again. Usually WWE does that too, with their official roster on their website. But in a new wrinkle, they've removed some of the free agents from the Raw and Smackdown rosters, to play into the storyline. So for example, Asuka is still listed as a "current superstar," but if you check to see which show she's on it'll seem like she just disappeared.

I'm curious to see how long WWE is willing to do this kind of thing before they all of the free agents return to some on-screen role. I'm sure many of these names will be back in time for the Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania. But Shane Thorne hasn't had a televised match in over six months, and he's exactly the kind of guy that would get left out of the mix for a whole year. I would not want to be one of these free agents if/when WWE does their 2022 roster cuts. (Unless I'm Gran Metalik, who reportedly wants out of his contract.)

[gffa]

Scattered Star Wars Thoughts: - It looks like there’ll be a LF Publishing panel at SDCC this year!

As we near the epic conclusion of the Skywalker saga with Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, some of the biggest and best Star Wars authors and artists gather to discuss new and upcoming stories set in a galaxy far, far away. Featuring Lou Anders (Pirate's Price), Katie Cook (Creatures Big & Small), Zorida Córdova (A Crash of Fate), Delilah Dawson (Black Spire), E. K. Johnston (Queen's Shadow), George Mann (Myths & Fables), Brian Rood (The Skywalker Saga), Cavan Scott (Dooku: Jedi Lost), Kevin Shinick (Force Collector), Charles Soule (Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith), Timothy Zahn (Thrawn: Treason), and Rebecca Roanhorse (Resistance Reborn). Moderated by Lucasfilm's Michael Siglain and Jennifer Heddle. 

I’m not expecting a lot of big reveals or anything, panels generally don’t have much unless there’s a huge presence at a con, but sometimes there’s some interesting things that are said!  And I’m hoping that, if Brian Rood is there, that means The Skywalker Saga will have new art!  Even if I’m kind of wondering what major scene is left that he hasn’t illustrated already. - I liked this video about the strengths/weaknesses of light side lightsaber users and how to best use each of them for your style of play, because it really shows how much thought was given to the characters by the devs to fit their style in the movies.  Like, Yoda is small and fast, he does a shitload of damage, but can’t really do ranged attacks.  Obi-Wan doesn’t do a ton of damage with his attacks, but his stamina and defense are out of this world.  Anakin is a nuclear bomb basically, he has the highest damage, but if he runs himself out of abilities, he basically self-sabotages.  I JUST REALLY LOVE STUFF LIKE THAT IN THE GAME. - Not SW, but cool:  I saw the trailer for The Terror: Infamy and I AM SO READY. I enjoyed the first season a ton (IT’S REALLY GOOD) but I binged it, so it ended up being a flash in the pan for me, now I’m wondering how it’ll go with a show that I watch week to week.  But I love Japanese mythology and I love horror shows, SO I AM VERY READY. - I’m back to watching The Expanse and I’m almost through season 2 and AHHH I LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH, the crew of the Roci really all grew on me, they’re such good people, even when Amos tries to think that he’s not (and he’s not entirely wrong, but he also aligns himself with people who are good people and follows them, so I’m still on his side) and I love how much they’ve won me over with Holden/Naomi, despite that I started out being initially interested in Amos/Naomi and found Holden to be kind of bland, that they’re not treating him as the only interesting character, but instead part of a cast, really works for me. I’m also developing quite a lot of Bobbie Draper feelings.  ;__; Scattered Star Wars Thoughts/2019 Resolutions Update: - The Star Wars Show 2019.06.05 Current total:  229/520

[jonmoxleygivesmelife]

I have decided to write out and publish my personal predictions for Wrestlemania 35 this Sunday. Feel free to comment and discuss with me cuz I’m fuckin PUMPED FOR THIS SHIT! But like also don’t be an ass about it, these are my personal predictions and opinions for Sunday. (All this is subject to change)

Wrestlemania 35 Predictions:

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Kickoff Show): Confirmed entrants -- Braun Strowman, Michael Che, Colin Jost, Andrade, Apollo Crews, Titus O'Neil, Tyler Breeze, Jinder Mahal, No Way Jose, Bobby Roode, Chad Gable, Lucha House Party, Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Viktor, Konnor, Mustafa Ali, Shelton Benjamin, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Otis, Tucker, EC3:

I honestly have no pony in this race. I’m still very bitter that the Hardy Boyz are being wasted in this match and not doing a singles tag match with The Usos. If I had to pick a winner, I’d say Jeff Hardy or Mustafa Ali, tho it will most likely be Braun Strowman. Winner: Braun Strowman (Personal Choice: Jeff Hardy)

Women's Battle Royal (Kickoff Show): Confirmed entrants -- Asuka, Carmella, Naomi, Lana, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Nikki Cross, Dana Brooke, Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Mickie James, Zelina Vega, TBA

This battle royal is such a waste of talent ohmygod. Every single one of these women has the potential to win, although I believe it will go to Asuka as sort of a payback (if such a thing even exists in this business) for the bullshit title run she was given as well as being dicked out of a Wrestlemania match. I would love to see Ruby Riott or Sonya DeVille win as well.                           Winner: Asuka

Cruiserweight Championship -- Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Tony Nese (Kickoff Show): I honestly have no idea who’s going to win since this is so underhyped and I haven’t been paying attention to the cruiserweights at all lately. I think there were much better options that creative could have gone with here, and I don’t see them stopping a long reigning title run for just anyone.                       Winner: Buddy Murphy

Raw Tag Team Championship -- The Revival (c) vs. Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins: When the fuck did this match become a thing??? I promise you all that if the Revival lose their titles, I will fucking riot. I will burn the establishment down to the ground. We’ve had to watch the Revival lose how many weeks in a row to Ricochet and Aleister Black? And then THIS is what we get for Mania??? I don’t think so. This is a filler to have on the card. Revival will win. Next.        Winner: The Revival  

SmackDown Tag Team Championship -- The Usos (c) vs. Ricochet & Aleister Black vs. The Bar vs. Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura: Once again, what the fuck?? This is a horrible lineup. We could have had The Usos vs. The Hardy Boyz, but no, we get this piece of garbage match instead. WWE creative clearly has no idea what to do with their tag divisions at this current time. I’d prefer the Usos to retain their titles, but I still haven’t seen much about whether they have signed a new contract with WWE since their current one is up in May. I honestly believe the outcome of the match will depend on that. If they have signed a new contract, I would say the Usos will retain. However, if they haven’t, it will go to Ricochet & Aleister Black since they have been dominating both Raw and Smackdown since they were called up from NXT. Maybe a unification of the tag titles in all three divisions, like with the womens titles, if they do?? Food for thought.      Winner: The Usos

Women's Tag Team Championship -- Sasha Banks & Bayley (c) vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya vs. Nia Jax & Tamina Snuka vs. The IIconics: I hate that this is another fatal 4 way for tag titles. As it stands, I wish they never involved Nia Jax & Tamina. They had their shot at Fastlane, they lost, let’s move along now please. I feel that Nia Jax & Tamina vs. Divas of Doom in their own singles match would have been a much better use of story and talent. The IIconics, on the other hand, are a natural tag team. They have the potential to have a great rivalry with Boss n’ Hug Connection, especially with both teams’ promo and in ring skills. I wish they had been focusing more on this part of the storyline without the added mud of the other two teams going into WM35. However, I believe Sasha & Bayley will retain and go on to have a feud with the IIconics post-Mania, and perhaps an NXT tag team will get involved.                           Winner: Sasha Banks & Bayley (Personal choice: The IIconics)

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin (Farewell Match): Kurt Angle is about to whoop Baron Corbin’s ass and we all know it. Maybe WWE will swerve us with Cena and have him vs. Kurt but who fucking knows at this point? This whole damn show is a hot mess. Kurt wins no matter what though. Let the man retire with some goddamn dignity.                                                                          Winner: Kurt Angle

The Miz vs. Shane McMahon (Falls Count Anywhere): I’m really excited for this match simply because it’s going to be mayhem. Shane McMahon will jump off lots of stuff, Miz will take some good spots, it’ll be great. With The Miz dominating the way he has been the past few weeks and becoming a beloved babyface, he has to win. I think with Shane attacking his father and the return of Miz’s reality show, they won't do Miz dirty here and his father may even intervene. Winner: The Miz

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre: I’m so excited for this match ohmygoodness. I love both of them so much and they will give us a great match. After Drew McIntyre brutalizing all of The Shield continuously for the past month, it naturally makes sense that Roman’s first single match since returning from hiatus will be McIntyre. This is going to be the beginning of a beautiful feud, but I don’t think Roman is going to win just yet. They’re introducing a new version of Roman that isn’t invincible like he’s always been in the past. He has a layer of humanity to him now and it would develop his new storyline much more to lose. I think Drew winning will rocket him to being the top heel of the company and it will spark great storylines for the future.                            Winner: Drew McIntyre

Triple H vs. Batista (No Holds Barred; Triple H's career on the line): I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want, and that’s for Batista to win this match. However, with Triple H’s career on the line (once again) I don’t see him having much of a chance. Triple H will take this one, but at least we’re getting a blast to the past of ruthless aggression, yeah!                                         Winner: Triple H (Personal Choice: Batista)

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton: So, I originally HATED the idea of this match. Like, I fucking hate Randall with every fiber of my being. I have my whole life and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. However, the latest episode of smackdown left me excited to see what these two will do in a ring together. What I really mean is that AJ Styles is about to make Randall look the best he has in almost a decade. This one goes to the good ole Georgia boy.                    Winner: AJ Styles

United States Championship -- Samoa Joe (c) vs. Rey Mysterio: This match is still up for debate on whether it’s going to happen or not. On the go-home SmackDown, it was announced that Mysterio had suffered an ankle injury during his match on Raw against Baron Corbin. He's set to be evaluated up until Sunday so who the fuck knows? I certainly don’t. However, Joe will retain. He deserves to win his first Mania match. ily Joe bby.                     Winner: Samoa Joe

Intercontinental Championship -- Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Finn Balor: The Demon King is showing up. There’s no question that Bobby will get the shit kicked out of him and Balor will take the title and move on from Buff Wayne Brady to bigger and better things.                                          Winner: Finn Balor

WWE Championship -- Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kofi Kingston: KOFIMANIA BABY! It’s time! I think this will be match of the night and we deserve it. So does Kofi. It’s going to be an amazing moment for everyone when our new WWE Champion is crowned. I think I might cry y’all.                             Winner: Kofi Kingston

Universal Championship -- Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Seth Rollins: At least someone actually gets their promised Royal Rumble match (I’m bitter about a lot of things but that’s another matter). I think this will be the biggest disappointment of the night. Everyone hates Brock. We’re tired of him. We want him to go away. Fuck Brock Lesner. Although, I don’t think Seth will win this match. Not after him standing tall over Brock on the latest episode of Raw. I think this is going to be a major let down, but we can’t always get what we want right? Vince’s obsession with Brock will never end until he fucking dies and we’re stuck with him until then. Unfortunately, Seth will be the sacrificial lamb for Kofi and Becky to win.      Winner: Brock Lesnar (Personal Choice: Seth Rollins)

Winner Take All -- Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Becky Lynch: God, what a fucking mess. I just want Becky to win dammit. Fuck Ronda. Fuck Charlotte. GIVE US BECKY. It’s what we deserve. It’s what she deserves. It’s what the world deserves. I know it’s going to be one hell of a match and I think if they pick anyone else to win they will have a riot from the fans and crowd so bad that people will throw drinks and shit into the ring. I wouldn’t be surprised if Charlotte wins, however, since Vince is obsessed with her, but the smart business move is Becky. If Ronda wins, I give up on everything and this show. Thank God we’re finally getting this match over with.                        Winner: Becky Lynch

See y’all Sunday ✌️

[wweassets]

Omg Bobby Roode flopped so hard. Does he even have any fans? His skin looks smooth though, I'd rub it.

no but his ass is amazing