#so happy I got the right shade of lilac it's one of those difficult colours to mix when you need a clean looking effect

[mimimarilynart]

[neoneversleeps]

achromatopsia | l.dh

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader (gender neutral)

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing, making out, mentions of a rare eye condition, anger outburst

description:

You fall in love with the colourful boy who sees the world in shades of grey. 

words: 8.7k

disclaimer: this fanfic in no way intends to romanticize the condition of achromatopsia nor does it intend to make light of anyone who deals with this condition. it’s only intent is to show that even though living with such a condition can be hard, it shouldn’t stop you from living your life like everyone else. also, i do not claim to be an expert on this condition, all my information has been gathered from internet research. 

playlist ☀

Lee Donghyuck. The cheery youthful boy with the red rosy cheeks and wide smile who lived down the street. The boy who played soccer in the fields of the nearby park, bright blue shorts and pink knees stained with green and brown patches. The boy whose laugh sounded like a burst of color, the sound fading through shades of pink and red and orange and yellow. The colors of happiness. The boy whose caramel colored skin was dotted with freckles and moles.

The boy who embodied the sun. Embodied the hues of pink and lilac when it rose in the morning, the yellow light as it shone through the day and the red glow as it set for the night.

Donghyuck was colors. He lived and breathed in them and the painstaking irony of it all,  was that he’d never get to see them. 

Achromatopsia.

“Achromatopsia is a condition characterized by a partial or total absence of color vision. People with complete achromatopsia cannot perceive any colors; they see only black, white, and shades of grey.”

By now, you could probably recite the entire Wikipedia article by heart from the amount of times you’ve read through it. 

You still remember the day you had first looked it up. It was sophomore year, sometime at the start of semester. The day you had officially met Lee Donghyuck, the annoyingly loud class clown and your recently assigned lab partner. 

You are working on your chemistry experiment alone. Your supposed partner chatting with his friends at the table over, his obnoxiously loud voice ringing throughout the class. You search through the list of things required for your experiment and diligently set everything up. You were used to working alone. While most of your classmates slacked off or goofed around, you actually worked on the assigned projects.

Although you must admit, it was getting increasingly difficult to balance all the various chemicals you had to add to the concoction in front of you while also controlling the temperature of the fire and reading through the instructions. You huffed in frustration, seemingly louder than you had intended, because your aforementioned lab partner was now right by your side. 

“Can I help?” You were surprised that his voice actually sounded genuine and that he had the decency to look a little guilty. Nonetheless, you were pissed. 

“Oh why thank you, how kind. I would most certainly appreciate your help.” you gritted through your teeth, the sarcasm rolling off you in waves. 

He shoots you a sheepish smile but you stare him down, and you swear you see him gulp as he turns towards the ingredients splayed out on the table. 

“Ok. What should I do?" 

Your eyes skimmed over the list of materials before you answered. "Pass me the hydrogen peroxide.” Donghyuck looked a little helpless at that and if you were in a different situation, you might have even found his expression endearing. Now, however, you resist the urge to roll your eyes. “The one with the red label." 

Donghyuck freezes at that, and you see his eyes flit nervously between the two substances in front of him. You were confused at the sight, why couldn’t he just hand it to you? 

You hadn’t failed to notice the way his friends at the other table had gone quiet as well, the whole classroom suddenly falling into an eerie silence. A strange feeling settles in your stomach and with a much quieter voice than before, you repeat your request. 

"Can you… pass me the one with the red label, please?" 

Donghyuck blinks furiously a few times, red painting his neck as he shoots a nervous smile your way. "It’s- I’m colorblind…totally colorblind.” He gulps after he speaks his words and his eyes  search yours for some sort of reaction.

It feels like the whole class is watching the two of you, breaths caught in their throat, much like your own. Your mind is on overdrive. Should you apologize? Should you stay quiet? Ignore it? What were you supposed to do? 

With what feels like a hundred stares burning into your back and your own cheeks heating up so much you thought you might burst into flames, you utter your next words. 

“The one on the left. Can you- can you pass me the one on the left." 

You internally chastise yourself for your small stutter and the fact that your heart still hasn’t stopped it’s incessant pounding.

It’s only until Donghyuck reaches for the red-labeled bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and hands it over to you with a small smile that you feel your heart’s rhythm slowly return to normal. Time seems to unfreeze at the simple gesture and the chatter throughout the class starts up again as usual.

The lesson continues with the both of you working side by side in relatively comfortable silence. 

It wasn’t until the end of the hour that Donghyuck turns to you, one of the straps of his bag already hanging off his shoulder.

"Thank you." 

You’re momentarily stunned at his words. Why was he thanking you?

"For what?”

“For not apologizing.”

That night as you got home, you spent hours researching complete color blindness, a concept that was previously foreign to you. It was odd to the think that the boy down the street, the boy who had been your classmate throughout you whole childhood, suffered from something you weren’t even aware existed. 

The words you read caused a painful twist in your gut. It didn’t seem right to you that Donghyuck, whom you had always seen as the most colorful boy in town, saw nothing but the world in black and white.

You went to bed that night feeling restless, nothing but the honey coloured eyes of the boy that saw no colours invading your dreams.

Those eyes invaded more than just your dreams, since after that fateful chemistry class, you seemed to bump into Donghyuck at almost every corner. You saw him at the ice cream parlor at the edge of the town, at your local arcade where he hung out with his friends. Sometimes, he waved at you from his garden down the street from your house, as he tended to the flowers with his mother. His bright, wide open smile, so care-free and bold, contrasted your small shy smile, which you always returned.

To this day, you wondered if it was coincidence or fate that drew you two together. In your heart, you liked to believe it was the latter.

One tuesday, at lunch, you had found him sitting alone at a table, his usual loud group of friends nowhere to be seen.

Tentatively you walk in the direction of the sunny boy that sits alone at the usually boisterous table. The two of you hadn’t properly talked since the chemistry class incident, except for the small greetings from the numerous casual encounters you had shared, but still, something inside you pulls you towards him. As you draw closer, you notice an uncharacteristically somber expression on his face. Your heart twists uncomfortably, wanting nothing more than to replace his dark expression with a much brighter one. 

Once you place your tray down on the table however, Donghyuck grins up at you as if snapping out of a daze. “Y/n! What brings you here?” You smile pleasantly back at him as you sit down, although your heart feels heavy as you noticed his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I- I saw you were sitting here alone so I thought maybe…” You trail off as you look down at your hands. “You’re cute.” The boy in front of you comments as he leans his chin on the hand that’s propped up by his elbow. The smile never leaves his face. You don’t find it uncomfortable, Donghyuck’s smile might be the most beautiful one you had ever seen,but you can’t help but feel that he’s using it as a mask. 

You roll your eyes playfully at his comment and take a bite out of your sandwich. “Where are your friends? Don’t you normally eat lunch with them?” Donghyuck shrugs at your question.

“They have better things to do like cramming for our next exams.” You narrow your eyes at the boy. “And why aren’t you cramming with them?” Donghyuck lets out a soft chuckle and a playfully cocky expression takes over his face. It’s hard to picture his somber look from before.  “Oh please, I could ace those exams in my sleep.”

You nearly let out a snort and before long there’s a ripple of laughter that leave your mouth due to his words. Donghyuck looks mildly offended. “What’s so funny?” It takes you a few moments to compose yourself before you speak again. “No offense, Donghyuck, but I’ve seen your grades.”

Donghyuck’s jaw drops open as you continue to stifle your laughter through your hand. You can see how his tongue pokes at his cheek in light annoyance. Normally, you’d be afraid you had actually made him mad, but you see he’s fighting back a smile. It isn’t long before the baffled look on his face is replaced by a defiant one. 

“Do you think you’ll do better than me then, puppet?”

The sudden use of a pet name catches you off-guard for just a second, but you remain composed, easily playing along with Donghyuck’s banter. You lean forward on your elbows and cock your head to the side slightly. “Oh, I know I will.”

It takes a total of five seconds for Donghyuck to burst into laughter as he shakes his head at your words. “You’re a lot less shy than you seem. Has anyone ever told you that?” 

A rosy color rises to your cheek at the fond smile Donghyuck sends your way. Color. There’s a faint realization in your mind that Donghyuck isn’t able to see your blush ut you push the thought  away. 

As you speak next,you’re voice is quieter and soft, as if what you’re saying is a secret shared between you two. “Nobody’s ever cared enough to find out.” Donghyuck’s eyes soften at your sad smile and what he says next is just as quiet. 

“Well then I say it’s time to change that.” 

The smile he gives you afterwards is so bright that the sun that shines above you seems to dull in its presence. 

Donghyuck had kept true to his words. You never had many friends in your life, and none of them would you consider as close, but Donghyuck seamlessly becomes your closest friend in only a few months. He weaves himself into your day to day so much you wonder how there was even a time where he wasn’t a constant in your life. Through him, you earn other friends as well. Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun and Mark, Donghyuck’s childhood friends. They easily accept you into their little group and the six of you hang out almost every single day.

You had never spent that much time outside the house. In fact, you spent so much time outside, even your parents had noticed your absence. SOmething that didn’t usually occur since their work life kept them so busy. 

Although you hung out with all of them, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that most of your time was spent with Donghyuck. The two of you were inseparable. It was a given that wherever you went, Donghyuck went too. 

“Stop pulling on my arm!” You whine as Donghyuck tugs at your appendage, trying to make you fail at the arcade game in front of you, an annoyingly gleeful smile on his face. 

You inevitably lose and the small tune that sounds with the words GAME OVER is accompanied by the melodious laugh of the boy beside you. Donghyuck shrugs at your death glare. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not my fault you suck at this game.” You try to swat at his head but he dodges your attempt. 

“Not your fau- how am I supposed to win when you keep distracting me?” You huff indignantly and he leans in closer to your face. “A true master does not blame their defeat on distractions, puppet.” His breath fans across your face and your cheeks heat up involuntarily once you realize how close he is. Rolling your eyes at him, you push him back at his shoulder, earning another cackle from the boy. 

“Well, let’s see how good you are, oh so great “master” of games.” Donghyuck winks at you before he gets to work. He grabs the controller and his brows furrow in concentration as he stares at the screen. 

You observe the vibrant neon colours of the game. You know that they’re nothing but dull shades of grey in Donghyuck’s mind, but it’s still hard to imagine even after all this time. 

The character on the screen bounces up and down, dodging the obstacles in its way. However you notice that the next abyss that approaches is filled with lava instead of the usual water and couldn’t be crossed in the small boat the character carries. You act upon instinct and place your hands over Donghyuck’s as you coordinate the maneuver necessary to surpass the lava pit. The small victory song hums out of the machine as the character reaches the finish line right behind it. 

Donghyuck looks down at you, his expression somewhat shy. “I had that, you know.”

“Of course, I was just being overprotective of little mister speedy here.” You say as you gesture at the character gleefully cheering on the screen. There’s a fond look in Donghyuck’s eyes as he stares into yours. You can’t help but notice how close his face is to yours once agai, as your eyes trail down to his lips for just a second. 

“Come on, slowpokes! We’re  already moving to the next floor!” Jaemin’s loud shout from somewhere to your right pulls both of you out of your trance with a jolt. 

“Coming!” Donghyuck shouts in return. He turns to face once Jaemin already runs off. He smiles briefly, plants a quick kiss to your cheek and then grabs your hand to drag you with him. 

More. Donghyuck and you had always been more than friends. It was clear from the first time you spoke, where you were left with butterflies in your stomach. It was clear from the way you looked at each other.The way your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his every time you sat at the table and from the way’s Donghyuck would often plant small kisses on your cheeks and to the crown of your head. 

At first, it felt like a crush, something you didn’t want to further in fear of losing the friendship you already had. But one thursday night at 11pm in your favorite diner, you felt your relationship shift. 

You scribble down the  equations, eyes moving from the sheet in front of you to the math notebook you were writing in. Two strawberry flavored milkshakes sit between you and Donghyuck, who currently had his chin propped up on his folded arms, eyes trained on one of the milkshakes. You look over to him or a second before resuming your homework. 

“Shouldn’t you be thinking of completing this assignment too? Its due tomorrow you know.” Donghyuck simply shrugs. You huff and shake your head, but continue writing in your notebook. A few minutes pass where the only sounds are your pen scribbling on the paper and the person behind the counter whistling along with the song that plays from the jukebox. 

“What’s the colour pink like?” 

Donghyuck’s sudden question startles you quite a bit and you place your pen down to look over to him. You follow his line of vision and land on one of the milkshakes that stands before you. It’s silent for a few more minutes as you think of what to say. 

“Pink is like… the feeling of cotton candy. It’s sweet and fluffy. It’s the colour of people blushing, of hushed secrets and hopeful promises. It’s the colour of falling in love. It’s also the colour of youth, of the bubblegum that you pop in your mouth and the colour of strawberry milkshakes you drink at a diner at 11pm on a school night.” You finish with a smile. Donghyuck smiles back and then closes his eyes.  He exhales slowly through his nose. 

“It sounds nice. I think I like the colour pink.” 

There’s an undeniable sadness in his voice despite the soft smile that plays on his lips. In that moment, you desperately want to trade places with the boy on front of you. He deserves to see the world in color just as much as you do, if not more. 

You also realize, that you’ve never really paid that much attention to the fact that Donghyuck was completely colorblind. At times, you would even forget it. Of course, you knew he appreciated the way in which you had never treated him any differently just because of his condition, but you oftentimes forgot how hard it must be. 

Donghyuck, though being open about most things in his life, kept any feelings about his condition under lock and key. In all this time you had never really talked about it. He brushed it off every time it came up in conversation, and you never pushed or prodded any further. 

That night, you swear to yourself that you would do anything in your means to make Donghyuck’s world as colourful as he deserved. And maybe, just maybe, that night you also realize that your crush on Lee Donghyuck was much more than just that. 

Some time after that night at the diner, the two of you were having your biweekly sleepover at his house. His parents were out of town, which meant you had the house to yourself. 

And in the early hours of the morning, after a sinful amount of movies and popcorn, your previous light conversation turned to something much deeper. 

You lay down on your back next to Donghyuck, the clock on his computer reads 3:07 am. The last movie had just ended and the both of you felt rather full from splurging on popcorn and other snacks. 

The last few hours had felt giddy, like the both of you had turned back time for awhile and just rejoiced in your youth. Now however, the room had gone quiet and the only sounds to be heard were your’s and Donghyuck’s shallow breathing. 

“Hyuck?" 

You were careful to talk quietly, scared that any louder sound would break through the veil of intimacy that had befallen the room. Donghyuck’s low hum is the only indication that he’s listening. 

There’s a million things you want to ask. A million things you still don’t understand despite all your research. So many questions in your head, but you settle on just one. 

"What is it like?" 

There’s no need for any specifications. Donghyuck knows what you’re asking. 

Your heart picks up in speed as minutes go by without an answer. You’re scared you’ve overstepped your boundaries and suddenly you want to take everything back. What if he’s mad? What if he hates you now? What if- 

"It’s hard to explain.”

Donghyuck steady voice cuts off your frantic thoughts, and you shift slightly closer to him, the both of you staring up at his bedroom ceiling. You wait patiently for him to continue. 

“My parents noticed how shaky my eyes were when I was still a baby. It’s called nystagmus, and it’s a symptom of achromatopsia. I also… had photophobia. Everytime my parents tried to take me out in the sun, I would scream and cry in fear. And the large stuffed animals my family bought me, they scared me to death. To me… they were just formless patches of gray or white. Visual acuity for people with achromatopsia is very…”

“ …low, I know. It gets better with age though, doesn’t it?” You finish Donghyuck’s sentence for him after he trails off. You look over to see that he now has his eyes closed as he nods slowly. 

Your fingers move to intertwine with his, and his hand grips yours tightly as you do. You give a small reassuring squeeze and he continues. 

“It has gotten a lot better…but-” Donghyuck sighs, his voice slowly getting less steady. 

“But sometimes, when I look at you in the sun.. it’s- it gets hard to make out your features and I- I hate it so much because I want to be able to see you. Truly see you and be able to- have this perfect picture of you in my mind but I can’t-. can’t because everything blurs together and I can’t- I can’t-” There’s a choked sob that escapes Donghyuck’s mouth as he talks and you immediately lean up to take his face in your hands. 

Your thumbs rub soothingly across his cheeks, spreading around the streaks of tears that roll down them. Donghyuck’s eyes are still shut and his breaths come out heavy and strained.

“Hey, hey, open your eyes, Hyuck." 

Donghyuck’s forehead draws together as he forces his eyes to stay wired shut and he shakes his head. 

"Donghyuck. Look at me." 

"Please.”

At this, Donghyuck’s eyes finally flutter open. Their red and watery and the fear that swims in them tugs at your heartstrings painfully. You manage to smile regardless. 

“I’m here. You don’t need to have some perfect image of me in your head because the real me is right here. Right by your side. I’ll always be right by your side." 

You wipe off the tears pooling under Donghyuck’s eyes as he looks up at you. 

"You promise?" 

You plant a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I promise." 

You lay back down next to him and before you know it, Donghyuck curls around you, resting his head on your chest. 

Minutes go by as you gently comb through the boy’s hair and slowly, you hear his breath evens out. 

"Thank you… for talking about it. I know it must be hard." 

Your voice is barely above a whisper and it hangs in the air for a few more moments before Donghyuck shakes his head and nuzzles closer into your neck. 

"It was good to finally talk about it, especially with you. I trust you, Y/n. I trust you with every part of me, the good and the bad." 

You kiss the crown of Donghyuck’s head lightly, your hand moving to caress along his arm. 

"I trust you too, Donghyuck, with every part of me." 

You fall asleep that night, the boy you hold most dear safe in your arms,  your legs intertwined and your hearts beating as one.

As the start of senior year came around, you and Donghyuck decided to head to the beach as a way to celebrate your two years of friendship and to destress before the inevitable impending assignments you were to receive.

You had mentioned your plans to Jaemin in passing as the two of you stopped by your local cafe and you distinctly recalled his words at the idea.

“We’ll take my mom’s car, since she won’t be around anyway.”

Jaemin nods his head as you finish your small explanation, his foot tapping idly at the ground as the both of you wait in line. “And this is to celebrate your friendship?”

“Uh yeah. Why?” 

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, Y/n. Everyone in a one mile radius can tell you two are more than friends. You know, I’d really appreciate it if you’d just tell me straight up that you’re dating.” 

“But we’re not dating.” You state as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire universe. 

Jaemin shakes his head at you. “Whatever you say, Y/n L/n.”

In truth, you’ve always known you were more than just friends. Nothing was ever said, but it remained as kind of an unspoken promise between you two. What’s more, you felt no need for any kind of title. You were content with your late night talks, the fleeting kisses on your cheeks, or hands, or forehead, and the lingering glances. You sigh quietly. Nope, you didn’t need any sort of official titles. None at all. 

“Venti Iced Americano. Ice, no water, with 4 extra espresso shots, please.” Jaemin smiles at the woman behind the counter as he orders his usual. Behind him, you recoil in disgust. 

“I still can’t believe you drink that vile concoction of yours.” Jaemin turns to you, an exaggerated look of offense on his face as he places a hand over his chest. “I’ll have you know, that this particular “concoction” is a delicacy.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes. 

“Whatever you say, Na Jaemin.” 

A few days later, you found yourself in the driver’s seat of your mom’s car on your way to the beach, an overexcited Donghyuck sitting next to you. 

Chocolate by The 1975 blasts through your car’s radio at full volume. Donghyuck belts along the lyrics as best as he can, limbs thrashing around him as he dances to the upbeat rhythm of the song.

“We never gonna quit , no, we never gonna quit it, no!”

You laugh, loud and carefree, as you steal glances at your silly best friend. You nod along to the song and drum your fingers on the steering wheel, enjoying the way Donghyuck harmonizes with the vocalist. 

The warm wind blows through your hair from the open window. The air already smells of sea salt and sand as you’re close to approaching the coast. You glance to your right to see Donghyuck leaning his head out of the window, not unlike an overgrown puppy. 

With one hand on the steering wheel, you use the other to pull him back into his seat. “Stop hanging your head out the window like a dog. Are you crazy? You’ll behead yourself at this rate.” You reprimand despite your laugh. 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully and pulls out a lollipop from your glove department, plopping it into his mouth. “You sound like my mom, puppet.” You don’t appreciate the comment and flip him off with your free hand. 

He gives out a chuckle at your annoyed expression and takes out his lollipop to give you a quick peck on your cheek. You wish away the blush on your cheeks as you stare at the road ahead, both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

It takes a little less than ten minutes for you to arrive at the beach, and even less for the two of you to run down to the water, leaving your clothing in the car as you were already wearing swimwear underneath. The sand is scorching beneath your bare feet, and it propels you forward faster, chasing after the boy in front of you. 

“Slow down, Hyuck!” You pant as you run as fast as you can to even keep up with your friend. 

Donghyuck’s laugh carries through the wind. “Catch me if you can, puppet!”

The coldness of the water causes you to shriek as you come in contact with it, Donghyuck already waist deep into the ocean. You brave forward through the waves until you reach him. “Asshole. Couldn’t you wait for me?” You say as you playfully stick your tongue out at him. He shrugs nonchalantly. “Not my fault you’re so slow.” He retorts as he pokes out his own tongue. 

You take the opportunity to splash water at Donghyuck’s face and watch in glee as he wipes the droplets from his face. Your giggle falls short however, at the defiant look in his eyes. 

“Oh, it’s on.” 

Before you know it, water is flying between the two of you at all heights and angles. A full fledged war of water splashes. Your shrieks of laughter are swallowed up by the strong summer breeze as you desperately try to outrun Donghyuck’s attacks. You had quickly come to realize that he had the upper hand in this particular game. 

Your attempts at escape are made futile, however, as you feel a pair of arms wrap around your middle. “Gotcha.” Donghyuck breathes next to your ear and your laughter mingles together. 

You place your arms over his as your laughter dies down and Donghyuck sways you slightly as you watch the rise and fall of the waves. 

Donghyuck’s voice tickles your ear as he cuts through the sound of rushing water. “What’s the colour blue like?”

You close your eyes and lean back into Donghyuck’s chest, letting your body enjoy the warmth he emits. You hum contently. 

“Blue? It’s like the water. Sometimes it’s calm and soothing, a comforting and calming presence that you’d use to paint a nursery. Like that feeling when a mother cradles her newborn baby, and it immediately ceases it’s crying. Other times, it’s strong and emotional. It can feel like plunging into the depth of something unknown. It can also represent sadness, like those tears you cry after having lost someone you love. It’s a beautiful colour, but it’s often related to sadness.”

“Then, what colour would you say represents me?”

You open your eyes and turn around to face Donghyuck at this. 

“All the colours of the sun. The way it paints the clouds in soft hues of pink and purple in the morning. Those represent your days spent in comfy sweaters, with your hair mussed ever so slightly and that small special smile you give me when I brew you a tea. Then there’s the strong yellow of the sun in its prime. That’s for when you smile the brightest, and your laughter is loud,  boisterous, youthful. For those times when you don’t hold back. When you don’t let anyone or anything… hold you back.”

Donghyuck takes your hand in his his as he lifts it up to his lips and plants a small kiss there. The fond look in his eyes makes your breath hitch for just a second before you continue. 

“And then there’s the dark orange that seeps into red right before nightfall. That’s for the times when there’s a dangerous glint in your eyes, the playful fire inside you. But it’s also for your passion. For the hours you’ve spent dedicated to the things you love. Like those nights you’d spent awake just to perfect that one song on the piano that was so damn difficult. You kept at it though. It’s admirable, really. You’re admirable.” 

Donghyuck’s hands come up to your cheeks. “That’s how you see me? Those are the colours that come to mind when you look at me?”

You nod. “Always.” 

Donghyuck leans in slowly and your eyes flutter shut as he finally closes the distance between you. Your first kiss is slow, languid, as your mouths move against each other, water lapping at your waist. 

Donghyuck’s tongue swipes at your lower lip and you easily grant him access, sighing as you further the kiss. Your hands move to link behind his nape as his move down to your lower back, pulling you flush against his bare chest. You kiss for what feels like hours before you’re forced to pull apart for air. Both of you smile at each other like two fools in love. 

That day, just before sunset, you drive back into the town, the taste of salt on your skin and your lips a distinct colour of cherry red. 

The morning that followed after your little trip to the beach, you awoke to multiple buzzes sounding from your doorbell. 

The ringing is incessant and you groan as ignoring it proves to be futile.Once you manage to drag your body out from the warm comfort of your duvet, you cross your room to open the window. The chilly morning air hits your face as you look down to your front door, blinking to adjust your eyes to the bright rays of the sun. You recognize the mop of brown hair immediately. 

“Hyuck?” You call out from your first floor window.

Donghyuck smiles up at you once he spots your figure from below, one hand blocking the harsh sun from reaching his eyes. “Come down! I need to take you somewhere!” 

You duck back into your bedroom and start flitting about to get ready. As you brush your teeth at lightning speed, you wonder what the hell Donghyuck has planned on a sunday morning. The events of yesterday also swim around in your head. Your heart stutters dangerously in your chest as your mind races with different scenarios of what was to come, but you eventually push those thoughts to the back of your mind as you focus on changing out of your pyjamas. 

You bound down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, suddenly eager to know what awaits you. You open the door in a flash and Donghyuck whips his head in your direction, a smile overtaking his face. He leans in quickly to place a kiss on your lips and you feel slightly lightheaded at the easiness with which he does. 

Donghyuck doesn’t waste any time and tugs on your wrist as he starts to drag you off somewhere, leaving you with barely enough time to shut the door. “Hyuck!” You laugh as he nearly breaks out in a sprint. You can tell he’s excited. “Where are we going?” 

Donghyuck turns around for merely a moment, a playful glint in his eyes as he smiles at you. “It’s a surprise.” He sends a small wink your way and you shake your head at his silliness. 

After a few minutes of walking through your neighborhood, you recognize the route you’re taking as the one that leads to your high school. “Hyuck, why are we headed to school? You do know it’s sunday, right?” You ask as you draw closer to the building. 

“You’ll see.” 

You huff in response to his words and he turns to look at you. “Were you always this impatient?” You stick out your tongue in retaliation, which earns you a small laugh from Donghyuck. 

The both of you finally come to a standstill under a willow tree that sits on a small hill just outside the school building. “Do you know where we are?” You raise an eyebrow at Donghyuck’s odd question.

“Um..yeah. We’re at school? I don’t really-”

Your sentence is cut short by Donghyucks groan as he rolls his eyes. He points his finger at one of the schools buildings, to a window that looks into a classroom and tilts your head with his hands so you follow his line of vision. “What’s that classroom over there?”

You still weren’t quite following. “The chemistry..lab? Again, I don’t-” This time you cut yourself off with a gasp. It finally hits you. The memory of sophomore year, the first time you ever spoke to the boy in front of you. 

“Got it now? I figured, for what I’m about to ask…” Donghyuck reaches for something inside his inner jacket pocket. “…it would be best to go back to the place where everything started.” He finishes with a small folded letter now in his hand. 

You stare at the folded paper before you. “Purple, it’s your favourite colour, right?” You nod. “Yeah.” You breathe out with a smile. The thought of Donghyuck probably asking one of your other friends to help pick out the right coloured paper for you warms your heart. 

You take the letter out of his hands, only noticing then how much they were shaking. Donghyuck was nervous. You fold open the piece of paper and read along the one line of text scribbled across it in Donghyuck’s unmistakable handwriting. 

"In my world full of greys, you’re my splash of colours.”

It’s short, sweet and undeniably cheesy, but it makes your eyes water all the same. One of your hands comes up to cover your mouth as you reread the words over and over, trying to permanently etch them into your memory. “Y/n?”

You look up at the mention of your name, and Donghyuck takes notice of the way tears threaten to spill from your eyes. He immediately moves a step closer. 

“Y/n, oh my God, why are you crying? This was supposed to make you happy, not sad.” He says as he wipes off the tears from the corners of your eyes with his thumbs. 

“It does.”,you choke out, “It does make me happy. So happy.” You wrap your arms around the boy in front of you, squeezing him tight as you plant butterfly kisses along his neck, jaw and cheek, all the while listening to the airy giggles that erupt from his mouth. 

You stay like that for awhile, just wrapped in eachothers arms, until finally Donghyuck pulls away. He jerks his head to the side. “Diner? I’ll buy you pancakes as an apology for forcing you out of bed.” 

You hadn’t even noticed the fact that you’d skipped breakfast until the mention of food brings out a growl in your stomach. The both of you laugh at the sound and you nod in acceptance to the offer. You take off towards the diner, hands intertwined and swinging between you two. 

“Hey puppet.”

“Mm?”

“Just so we’re clear, you do get that that whole thing back there means we’re official now, right?” 

You lightly punch him in the arms as you roll your eyes. Donghyuck wears a gleeful grin on his face. The grin is wiped off however, when one of your hands grabs him by the jaw and you smash your lips onto his, hard. You turn the kiss into a near make out as you nibble on his lower lip and tilt your head to push into him even further. And just as Donghyuck exhales in bliss, you pull away, his lips still chasing yours. 

You turn and continue to walk as if nothing happened. Donghyuck is left staring after you with a dumbfounded look on his face, as a satisfied smirk plays on yours. 

Not much changed in your relationship after that day, except for the fact that you would now introduce Donghyuck to people as your boyfriend instead of your best friend. Or the fact that most of your movie nights would now also include a make out session. Or the fact that you would nibble along Donghyuck’s ear as you whispered, Renjun gagging in his seat across from you. 

After you had broken the news to your friends, you had learned that they had long since placed bets on when the two of you would finally get together. Jaemin was the only one who had bet you would do it before the end of senior year and had cashed in a total of sixty bucks from your friends, of which you and Donghyuck requested twenty. 

“And why exactly should I hand over any part of my hard earned money?”

“Because, you wouldn’t have any if it weren’t for us.” You state matter of factly, Donghyuck nodding along, one of his arms secure around your waist. Jaemin begrudgingly hands over the twenty dollar bill, a scowl very evident on his face. 

“Thank you for your contribution.” You say, smile on your face sickenly sweet. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jaemin mutters as he waves you off. You grin triumphantly as you look up at the boy beside you and Donghyuck grins right back as he plants a small kiss on your forehead. 

The next few months of school were stressful for everyone and the constant and seemingly never-ending amount of workload caused a slight strain in your relationship. The many nights of studying and finishing homework had made it harder for the two of you to meet or even talk for a while. 

One early evening, as you sat down to get started on your biology studies, you called up Donghyuck and asked to come over so the two of you could study together. That had seemed to be the only thing which would allow for some time together, even if it was spent with your noses buried in books. Donghyuck had sounded somewhat strained on the phone but he had agreed to your idea regardless. 

You knew Donghyuck had his bad days, but that night was one of the worst. 

You sit in silence on the floor of Donghyuck’s bedroom, the only sound in the room the one of highlighter pens scraping across the surface of your textbooks. For whatever reason, the atmosphere in the small room is tense. It feels like the air buzzes with some sort of energy every time you move, so you try to sit as still as possible. 

Donghyuck lays chest down on his bed, his eyes squinting at the page in front of him in concentration. You feel like you’ve been revising for hours, and honestly, you would like to just take a break and cuddle with your boyfriend, or at the very least be able to hold a conversation with him. 

You exhale a breath, thinking of conversation starters. You were never one for small talk, but you and Hyuck used to be able to talk about anything, and it never felt awkward. Not until now, at least. So,you decide to go the easy route. 

“I’m gonna fail this exam.” , you chuckle lightly, “All this hormonal regulators shit is hard.”

“Oh yeah? Well at least you can actually see the colours to help you memorise them.” 

You’re taken aback at the harshness of his tone. In all the time you’d known each other, he’d always just told you about his frustrations, but never before had he let them out on you. Slowly, you move to get up and sit at the edge of his bed. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” he says, eyes trained on the same page of the biology textbook he’s been staring at for the past five minutes. Hesitantly, you reach out a hand to touch his shoulder, only to take it back in shock as Donghyuck stands up abruptly. “Don’t-”, he breathes in sharply through his nose, “Just don’t.”

“I don’t understa-”

“Exactly!” Donghyuck’s shout cuts off your words. “You don’t understand! I mean, how could you? You weren’t born with some sort of defect. You were born with perfect eyes. And yet you complain about the stupidest shit sometimes. “Oh that shade of green is ugly” “The sunlight is so bright” “All these different colours are confusing”.” Your heart twists painfully in your chest as you watch him mock you. You knew the comments could be hurtful, and you tried with all your might to avoid saying them, but sometimes they just slipped out. You never meant to cause any harm. 

“And then you complain about-” He pauses to let out an exasperated laugh. “You complain about hormones, in a biology book. What is it about you and biology anyway? Your grades are fine.” You want to say something but Donghyuck continues before you get the chance. “Have you ever heard of, oh i don’t know,  thinking before you speak? Because newsflash! Biology- Fuck- Life itself, is a little harder when all you can fucking see, is IN BLACK AND WHITE! But no, your complaints are way more important aren’t they? You know why? Because you’re selfish.”

Selfish.The word feels like a spear to the heart. You stand up and your voice shakes with anger and hurt as you speak, tears already rolling down your cheeks. 

“You wanna know why I’ve been so stressed about biology? Because I need a fucking perfect GPA in that class to get into medical school.” Donghyucks brows draw together in confusion. “Yeah, you heard right. Medical school. You wanna know why? Because I want- because I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes to make you see the world in the same way I do. And yeah, maybe it’s impossible. Maybe I’ll spend my life trying to find some sort of cure and never do. But atleast I tried. I tried.” Your voice cracks ever so lightly at the last word. 

“But never mind that, right? I’m just some selfish idiot who complains too much and never thinks before they speak.” You say as you storm past Donghyuck, but are halted by his hand on your wrist. You turn around to yell at him to let go, only to have your yell stuck in your throat as Donghyuck smashes his lips onto yours. The kiss is filled with emotion, but it lasts only a mere few seconds as Donghyuck pulls away to lay his head on your shoulder. His hands fist the fabric of your t-shirt and his breaths are heavy against your neck. You lift up your hand to rub up and down his back soothingly. 

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t right of me to yell at you like that.” He moves his head to rest against your forehead. “You’re not selfish. In fact, you’re the farthest thing from it. You’re the most selfless person i’ve ever met.” His voice shakes as and he inhales deep through his nose. “You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry.” 

You shake your head at him, and lean up to kiss the corner of his mouth, by now a comforting gesture between you two. 

“Apology accepted.”

The last few weeks of senior year were still filled with nerve-wracking levels of stress but you took comfort in the fact that the strain between you and Donghyuck had vanished completely. It had felt nice, how everything returned to normal between the two of you. It was like, after the fight, an immense weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you could finally breathe again. 

You braved through your last set of finals and then decided to focus on the one thing you had been looking forward to in the year: prom. Still, the results of your exams plagued your mind with worries. If you didn’t reach the results expected of you, you could kiss the idea of medical school bye bye. 

You were brought out of your spiraling thoughts on prom night as your boyfriend called you over to help pick out an outfit. You were grateful for the distraction,and headed over as fast you could, already finished with your own attire and makeup. 

 Your fingers drum absentmindedly along Donghyuck’s bed covers as you wait for him to finish rummaging through his closet. The sound of rustling fills the air as your mind once again drifts to your exam results, as you desperately try to recall your answer to that one question you’re sure you failed. “Aha!” Donghyuck’s shout calls your attention back to him. “Found ‘em.”

He holds up two dress shirts: one a silky blue and the other a deep shade of velvety red. 

“The blue one is nice but, the red one will look better with your tan skin.” You say as you point at the second shirt Donghyuck holds up in front of his chest as he looks in the mirror. 

“ I do recall you using the colour red to describe me once.” Donghyuck says as he smiles over at you. “So it’s only fitting.” 

“Yeah.” You breathe with a smile, but it falls from your face just as fast as it arrived. It’s not long before your boyfriend stands in front of you, tilting your chin up so you look at him. “What’s wrong, puppet? It’s prom night. You should be excited.” You sigh as you squeeze your eyes shut for a second. “I am! I am excited. It’s just…” 

“Your results?” Donghyuck states more than asks, his voice soft as he sits beside you. You let your head fall onto his shoulder as you exhale. “Yeah..” You feel Donghyuck place a quick peck on the crown of your head and one of his hands trails down your arm to comfort you. “Y/n. You’re the smartest, most amazing, and most dedicated person I know. I don’t think anyone studied harder for these finals than you did. You did great, and your results will be great too. Hell, they’ll probably be the best the school has ever seen. The best the county has ever seen.” You lift your head off his shoulder to chuckle. “Well, I wouldn’t go *that* far.”

“I would.” Donghyuck says as he looks at you, a fond expression on his face. You lean in to kiss him, lips only barely touching his. He deepens the kiss, slowly molding his mouth together with yours as his body pushes you down onto his bed. He moves to hover above you, his arms supporting his weight as his tongue dances with yours. 

“Donghyuck! Y/n! Are you guys ready?” Donghyuck’s mom’s shout causes you to break apart. Donghyuck groans. “Yeah! We’ll be down in a minute!” He goes to lean back down but you plant your hands firmly on his chest to stop him, a laugh bubbling in your throat. “ Easy there, tiger. You.”, you poke your boyfriends tummy, “still need to finish getting dressed.” Donghyuck groans again, but obliges and gets off you in favor of buttoning up his shirt. 

You watch in fondness as he fumbles with the buttons, tongue poking out at the corner of his mouth in concentration. For the first time that night, you truly are excited to go to prom, all thoughts about the future long forgotten in the back of your mind. 

You ended up passing your finals with flying colours, even graduating as the valedictorian of your class. An honour which you did not expect, but had accepted humbly and happily. 

The thing that made you most happy now however, was the fact that you had been accepted into one of the best medical schools in the country with a partial scholarship. And,  the fact that your boyfriend was going to attend university in the same city as you, only a few streets over, as a music major in a prestigious fine arts academy. 

The time came for both you and Donghyuck to leave behind the town of your childhood, and to part ways with your friends and family, promises of holiday visits and choruses of “see you soon’s” as you bid them all goodbye. 

You sit in your car, hands on the steering wheel as you try to calm the nerves bubbling in your stomach. Your high school, diploma sits stored away in one of the many boxes that litter the back of both yours and Donghyuck’s dad’s car, who will accompany you in your drive towards the big city. 

You recall the teary eyed faces of your parents as they wished you farewell and there’s a small hollow ache in your chest. It’s scary, leaving home. But you know that the life that awaits you holds promises of adventures to come, especially when you have the love of your life by your side. 

Said boy swings upon the passenger side door as he hops into the car. He leans over for a quick peck on the lips before he closes the car door behind him. “Ready?” he asks. You watch as he taps something into the GPS navigator, presumably the directions of your new apartment, and your eyes trail over his features. You take in how much he’s grown. How different he is from the chubby cheeked kid who ran through the parks of your town, or the fresh faced sophomore who didn’t care to pay attention in chemistry. 

You think back on your memories together. The days spent at the arcade with your friends, afternoons turned into evenings at your favourite diner, movie nights filled with unhealthy amounts of snacks, the beach where you shared your first kiss. You would miss this old town. You would miss its colours, the ones you had gotten so good at describing all these years. You would miss the familiarity of it all, the safety,  the way it felt like home. 

You know however, as you look at the boy sat beside you, that he was now you’re home, and that wherever you went, you would feel safe as long as he was with you. 

So, with a determined sigh, you turn the key in the ignition and tighten your grip on the steering wheel. 

“Ready.” 

[fatbottombucky]

The Retailers at Christmas

Summary: you get yourself a Christmas Temp job at Sephora, in a well known shopping mall. Only the thing is, you didn’t expect every shops workers to be so involved with one another, and you didn’t expect to be added to the ‘Retail Workers of Avengers Mall Secret Santa Party’ but… at least you got the job, right? Warnings: This is a modern AU; This is completely for entertainment purposes/ all in humour. I got a retail job and, honestly, most of everything that happens has happened to me. Swearing/ Steve being a creep at times. Characters: Loki (Sephora store manager), Steve Rogers (Art Supply retail worker), Bucky Barnes (Starbucks employee), Scott Lang (Baskins and Robins employee), Natasha Romanoff (New shop opening), Clint Barton (Nick’s Bits & Bobs), Sam Wilson (Sports shop), Pietro Maximoff (sports shop), Thor (Hardware store), Tony Stark (Starks Gadgets), Peter Parker (Apprentice to Stark) & Sharon Carter (The Tea Rooms) Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader x Loki // Steve Rogers x Natasha// Sharon Carter x Thor // Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter Two: Where the hell does Nat work?

Your P.O.V (I’m still editing this, but wanted chapter two up)

You sighed gently, working in retail wasn’t really what you expected. You knew it would be difficult, extremely tiresome but you didn’t think it would be this hard. You were constantly going back and forth from makeup stands, tidying them up and helping customers, having to deal with horrible people too. Your co-workers aren’t all that much better, except Loki, most were actually extremely bitchy and not that much help in your first week.

A part of you thought this was a mistake, that maybe you should quit this job and try something more suited for your skill set. But another part of you was telling you to stick it out also, to just give it a few more days and weeks, to really give this a chance.

“Hello?” You are pulled out of your thoughts by a customer, an extremely pretty customer. Blonde, long glossy hair and deep green eyes and a kind smile. “Sorry to be a bother but I really need help picking a lipstick colour for my skin tone.” She looked oddly familiar, perhaps you had seen her before?

You gave a slight nod, allowing her to lead you to the Urban Decay stand. “Is there a certain type of shade you’d like?” You asked already eyeing her and then looking at the lipsticks and comparing them to her skin tone.

She gave a gentle sigh almost. “Honestly, it’s not entirely for me. There’s this guy, I think he likes me and I kinda want to make a statement, attract him to my lips? That doesn’t make any sense, does it?” She chuckles at herself, thinking she sounds like an idiot, but you quickly shake your head.

“No, no, it makes sense. You want him to notice you more? But more so that area, just to be sure if he does like you?” You worded it as more of a question, she nodded quickly, grinning and showing off her perfectly white teeth. After swatching shades for her, which took around fifteen minutes, not that you minded because she was actually extremely nice. “I feel like I know you from somewhere, is that crazy?”

“I’m Natalia Romanova, famously Natasha Romanoff to my American fans, a Russian model that has recently made her own clothing brand and makeup.” Your eyes widen, you had been following her on Instagram since… well, since Clint had shown you her underwear photoshoot last year. “Yeah, I’m launching my first store opening in January and wanted to be around for the renovation of it, plus I heard this shopping Mall is one of the best.” Natasha shrugged with one shoulder. “It also explains the uniform,” She gestures to the uniform she is wearing, a pastel blue polo shirt with her logo embroidered in a dark blue, “It’s kinda a prototype, I’m undecided on the colour scheme.”

You nodded for a few seconds. “Wow. This is kinda surreal, I am so happy that you’re finally bringing your collection over here, I’ve been staring at your clothes in wonder over Instagram.” You chuckled along with her, “So, does this mean you’re going to be part of the Secret Santa party this year too?” You asked and she quirked an eyebrow, “Man, oh man, I’ve got to update you on some stuff.”

Bucky’s P.O.V

“Worst shift ever,” Bucky tiredly sighs as he plops down in the empty seat opposite his best friend. Wiping his hands on the Starbucks apron. Glancing up in time to see Steve quickly divert his attention to him, looking shifty as hell. “What are you doing?” Bucky sighs, already looking around the food court for what could be the source of his friend's distraction.

“Nothing, forget it.” Steve quickly dismisses, “what’s the worst Starbucks shift? Thought every shift was that?” The blonde changes the subject.

Bucky’s eyes still sweep the area and shrugs. “Yeah, that’s right. Heard Tony finally got an apprentice, some kid that’s still in school. Gonna be working weekends,” Bucky fills Steve in on the gossip he missed this morning before opening. “Why do you have taco-bell, Panda Express AND a burger meal from Coulson's Grill?” Finally noting the table filled with food, not being eaten.

Steve’s face turns a bright red, looking almost sheepish too. “Well… uh- I couldn’t decide what I wanted.” He stumbles, looking up at Bucky’s unamused glare. “Fine,” he sighs, shoulders slumping, “I looked suspicious going into each place and looking around, asking about employees that worked there, I had to buy something.”

“Steve, I say this cause I love you, dearly. You’re like a son to me-“

“I’m older than-“

“You’re acting like a creep. This is coming from me, the guy that used to write his number on every girl Starbucks cup. Stop it, I don’t want you getting fired ‘cause you got some weird pervy crush on Nat.”

“HA! So you do know her?” Steve yelled, earning weird looks. “And it’s not a crush, she walks around in an employee uniform that I never saw before. I’ve looked on every floor for the store, can’t find it. Figured it might be a restaurant-“ Steve stopped abruptly at the look on Bucky’s face. “Okay, so… I’m a creep. Just tell me, where does she work?”

Bucky laughs, “No way. Besides, she orders stuff from Starbucks, I see her name tag. That’s how I know her name.” Bucky shrugs, “Y/N also talks to her when working shifts at Sephora.”

“So… what time does she go to Starbucks?”

“Around ni- Hey, no. You’re not hanging around Starbucks in the hopes of getting a glimpse. You’re insane, this is from that Sam guy, stop hanging out with him. I’ll tell her you’ve been asking about her, she might pay you a visit.”

Steve’s eyes widen and he shakes his head. “Don’t you dare!”

“Then stop being creepy, okay?” Steve nodded slowly, watching Bucky eat one of the many meals, eyebrows furrowing slightly also.

“Wait, who is Y/N?” Steve watched as Bucky slowly stopped chewing his food, eyes shifting around nervously and he smiled bashfully. “... Do you have the hots for Loki’s new employee? I thought you were strict ‘No Sephora chicks’? Because they’re stuck up and talk about make up all day long.” Steve was grinning wildly at his best friend, Bucky sighed.

It took Bucky a few seconds before he replied. “She ain’t like those other girls, she’s actually pretty cool and funny, she’s friends with Clint! That says a lot about a person. She comes in and orders coffee’s sometimes, we got chatting over some stuff.” he shrugged, muttering the last sentence and biting his food to stop from talking. He glances up to see Steve’s smug face, arms crossed and a look of ‘this is gold gossip’. “Aw, Stevie, c’mon… don’t look at me like that, dude.”

“Just it’s been three years since you actually took an interest in someone, good to know you aren’t just the Starbucks Fuckboi.”

“You need to stop hanging around Sam, he’s a bad influence, can’t believe he branded me as that.” Bucky sulked pushing the food away. “Him and Sharon, need to be stopped. Speak of the devil and it will come,” Steve turned his head in time to see Sharon Carter walking up to them, a big smile on her face as she looks at Steve who greets her with the same back. “Hey, Sharon!” Bucky says in an overly enthusiastic voice.

Sharon tilts her head, crossing her arms. The lilac shirt with the cursive font on the left, her name badge just underneath. “Barnes, Steven, how are you both?” Steve shrugs and Bucky just ‘mehs’ at her question. “Wow, lively bunch today, Tony wanted me to remind you both that the annual ceremony of the name picking is this Saturday. It’s being held at The Tea Room, I’m sure you remember where that is, right Barnes?” Sharon bats her lashes at him, his smile drops and he rolls his eyes. “Just making my rounds, boys.” She nods before leaving, chuckling as she does so.

“Can you believe her?” Bucky hisses at Steve. “She acts so high and mighty because she works at ‘The Tea Room’” Bucky puts on a fake British accent, “Ugh. British chicks, fuck ‘em. So prude and high class, so I tried getting a job there, didn’t want it anyway. Starbucks is so much better, at least people my age like me.” Steve just smiled and nodded along, chuckling at Bucky’s childish behaviour towards Sharon.

“Sharon isn’t British.” Bucky frowned and looked at Steve, “She isn’t British, Buck. She was born here, her sister, Peggy is the British one.”

Bucky scoffs. “Don’t say her name in front of me, I’m still mad at her.” Steve sighed and shakes his head, “no matter how much pain she caused you, you still choose to defend her. No wonder you stalk Nat instead of talking to her, issues, you’ve got ‘em.”

*

Bucky went back to Starbucks, sighing as he stood behind the counter beside his usual work buddy, Scott. They both had been hired around the same time last year, neither knowing how to make coffee’s or any of the fancy shit that happens as Starbucks, but they gave it their best. Usually, Scott makes the drinks and Bucky get the orders unless it’s super busy, then they both make drinks and take orders.

“How’s Cassie?” Bucky asked when the crowd had thinned out, Scott looked up from the cleaning the hot chocolate machine with raised eyebrows. “Wasn’t it her Birthday like four days ago?”

Scott nodded and chuckled. “Yes sir, took her to the zoo.” Bucky chuckled, he had met Cassie a few times, she would sit at one of the tables waiting for Scott to finish a shift. “She’s growing up too fast, Maggie is thinking of having another one with the douchebag but… I don’t think me and Hope are at that stage, yet.” Scott sighs and Bucky nods, “so, Y/N, huh? Got a thing for her.” Bucky whipped his head to glare at the chuckling, smaller, man. “Steve sent it in a group text to me and Sam, plus Clint.”

“That fucker. I’m getting him a punch in the face for Christmas.” Bucky seethed.

“Brightside, you might pull her name Saturday.” Scott nudges him to take the ladies order, leaving Bucky to blush at the thought of that.

~ I hope people are liking this, it’s actually difficult trying to introduce all the characters, hence why I put Shar, Steve, Bucky and slightly Scott in this chapter along with Natasha. What do people think of the characters so far? Let me know what you think will happen? Who you think people will get as their secret santa! Still so much more to happen!~

(Thank you, all so much, for allowing me to do this instead of requests this year. Wanted to focus on a series. I do have a job, working in retail, hence the inspiration for this. So, updates will be all over the place, which I am sorry for. Hope you enjoy this. - Rosalie)

Tag List ( Technically CLOSED but- if you want to be added; comment on this post, no asks)

@promarvelfangirl @zombiewerewolfqueen @avengersandchill @reniescarlett @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @therealtrashhere  @jamesbuckybananabarnes @2-many-fandoms95 @the-resident-demon @medusassirene @writingcameos @fleurs-en-ruines @mpmark @spookyphsyco @awwtommo @cheshiresmiles @sabrinawalden510 @theonlymoosewhoeatssalad @eggsyunwincankillme @pure-fitz @hdthdthdt @millie-saurus-rex @the-great-escapist99 @meowmeow230 @earinafae @chronicles-of-my-chocolate @wolfgamzee @destroy-society  @somewereinthegalaxi @niallandsebastianaremylife @tum-icanteven-blr @woo0t @timemngmtoptimisationproblems  

[ecotone99]

[RF] Dreams of Italy

There wasn’t any particular reason why he disappeared that drizzly Friday. It was getting cooler during the days and the sky was increasingly dull. Sometimes the morning mist seemed to linger too long, penetrating his thoughts, making him feel full of featureless grey. Thing is, if he was honest with himself, the weather wasn’t really the problem. He quite liked the cold, and the rain. There was something invigorating about it, refreshing and cleansing. He liked being out in nature. “No such thing as bad weather” he thought, “only bad clothes”. The quote went something like that, something along those lines. Preparation was key. It never really mattered what the weather was doing, he was always prepared. He thought back to summertime, and the slow walks between shady areas of the garden, dawdling in the sunshine, a penetrating warmth that would leaving him fizzing with energy all the way to his toes. He often reminisced while he wandered across the lawn, trying to think back to the months past. The year flew by so quickly. When the sun beat down upon him, filling his head with brightness and giddy thoughts, he could barely remember the winters. Sometimes he felt vague memories stirring of the long summers his family had enjoyed when they lived in Italy. He knew it was warmer there and he pined for his home. Although he hadn’t ever been there, he just felt drawn to it. Memories, so full of happiness, must be strong enough to flow through generations. Italy. The word pronounced itself in his head, rich with romance and echoes of an accent, long ago heard. Maybe that was why he vanished. He wanted to see it for himself. He wanted to walk the coast near Amalfi, with its delicate lemon-scented breeze. He wanted to be a tourist in Rome, leaning on the warm stone of the Colosseum while the memories of centuries, and centurions, gone by cooled his skin. He wanted to see the cathedrals of God that crowned Lake Como in the north of the country. Really, it was just a far-off dream. He could carry on thinking and dreaming and imagining a different life so far away, but he wasn’t exactly in a position to move. It was drastic. Exciting. It was daring and it was thrilling. He wasn’t sure anyone like him had ever done something so incredible. But it wasn’t realistic. It also wouldn’t be fair on her, he supposed. She hadn’t been in his life for long. He had arrived so fast from his old life but he had been welcomed as if he always fitted into the complicated puzzle of this family. Lucky, he thought initially, that I am so self-sufficient. She hadn’t needed much help adapting to his needs. It seemed to him that she instinctively knew what he would need and helped him just enough to get by. They settled into an easy rhythm and life was good. Of course, there were muddles and miscommunications. That was understandable. Communication had never been his strong point. He smiled remembering the time he ended up in the neighbour’s garden. Her reaction to the whole situation was odd. It was almost as if she hadn’t meant to leave him alone to explore. The folk down the road were friendly enough and had offered him refreshments. He thought about explaining that he would shortly be on his way, and as if on cue, she arrived to escort him home. Nothing was ever said about it. Not to him anyway. It was a story she regaled to friends and visitors. There was never any malice in her narration, only humour. But she never spoke to him about it. Perhaps she didn’t need to. Perhaps she understood that he was different, and perhaps she would be the first to simply accept those differences with humility and love. He always worried about his relationships and the effect his thoughtfulness had on them. People thought him grumpy, standoffish. Classic judgements of a contemplative soul. He didn’t always know the right things to say and he hated small talk, so he just stayed silent. Listening is what he did well. People had always talked to him. Sometimes it felt like they talked over him, or through him, humouring him as if he didn’t understand. That wasn’t something he minded either. He understood every word. Quietly, (and with no trouble because he was so easily unnoticed) he would sneak into a corner and drift off into a world of his own, with snatches of conversation slipping and sliding over him. New words flew around. Exciting fresh phrases were unpacked in the easy chats of everyone around him. The sounds settled on him like a blanket and he so often fell into a dreamy slumber, lulled by the rhythm of words. Children were different. They hardly ever spoke right to him. It was always with their bright eyes brimming with curiosity, fear, and amazement that they communicated the most. Questions were asked to the adults as if saying it to him was rude. To be fair the answers the adults gave were always pretty accurate, so he had no proper complaints. Staring made him uncomfortable. Even when She looked right into his eyes and chatted away at him, he found himself growing prickly. Everything grew tight. He only relaxed when she got distracted and looked away. He liked her voice. It calmed him and despite the brevity of their relationship he felt a pull of real connection. On the day he decided he would leave the drizzle was just hanging in the air. It clung to clothes, cars, walls and plants in tiny drops. Fine drops that would shine like crystals with the right light. Except there wasn’t any light. It was all just grey. The leaves in the garden were heavy and hanging low. He brushed past a rose bush and felt the moisture collect in big drops that soaked into his sides. No matter, he thought, I’m prepared. The summer had been lovely. The children had a sand pit, and a water tray. Sometimes he would walk around in the water tray, imagining he was really dipping his toes into the cool water of Lake Maggiore. At the beginning of the summer she had given him a small area of the garden. She helped him plant things in it. Shady plants, fragrant plants. Beautiful flowering plants. The lilac was his favourite. Tendrils grew quickly over the frame and began to create a tangled arch that he would walk under multiple times a day. The shadows under the arch were all shades of green. The breeze that blew through was so deliciously fragranced that he imagined, even felt, the smell turning into liquid happiness inside. Scent has such power on the emotions, even he realised that. Gradually the summer gave way to autumn, though not without a fight. Sunny days hung around but fewer in number as the weeks went on. The trees began to decorate the lawn and flowerbeds with their jewel coloured leaves. Shortly before he left, the thought occurred to him that maybe he didn’t remember winter because he was so absent from it. He liked the rain, and the cool air. But he didn’t like the relentlessness of it. He did not like the threat of snow. He definitely did not like frost. Frost was pernicious and uncomfortable. Of course it was pretty on the spider webs, and the blades of grass with pale winter sunshine making them look like minute glistening swords. But it was harsh and unforgiving. Harsh and unforgiving were traits that did not sit well with him. These parts of winter that were so difficult were best avoided. It was always a great relief to realise that the beginnings of spring were pushing their way back into the world. Sometimes it took him several weeks to fully realise that winter had been and gone. The plan was simple. He would go, without saying anything. Although he couldn’t be certain, he was pretty sure she had recognised the freedom of his spirit. There would be an understanding that it was something he needed to do and it would be an action that was never meant to hurt or upset. One thought passed through his mind and he felt guilty about it- once he was gone he wouldn’t be able to see her upset so did it really matter anyway whether she understood or not? Out of sight, but probably not out of mind. He knew he would be thinking of her and because he was such a thoughtful soul, he knew his imagination would be selling him all sorts of lies about the effect of his departure on her. Deep inside, from a part of him that defied explanation, he knew it was time to go. He had begun preparing for it for a while, almost unconsciously. Something was distracting her because the usual standards of care and attention were lacking from their interactions. Little touches like his favourite foods or helping him with things in the garden vanished. She seemed distant as if she knew something was going to change. If he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn’t really in the mood for treats, or gardening together. His appetite had left him before he had made up his mind about leaving them. Saying goodbye to the children was hard. They didn’t understand. There wasn’t much he could say anyway and besides, they just continued to run around the lawn with a ball, and their loud shouts and laughter, and acted as if he’d said nothing much more than “remember to wipe your feet on the way in”. He didn’t say goodbye to anyone else. It was probably easier, he supposed, if he just left. So much was going on anyway. He could see it in her lined face. He could hear it in her wavering voice, so unconfident in her conversation recently. He could feel it in the way she held herself and how she looked at the garden from the windows. Of course, she didn’t talk to him but when they were together, she seemed to be ever so slightly, more fragile, and even maybe a bit broken. He left quickly that Friday, before anyone else was up. Although he hadn’t checked the time, he could tell by the frigid blue hue in the sky that it was very early. He didn’t want to leave any trace either. If he was going then he had to go properly. She couldn’t come after him, that would be too difficult to explain. How could he tell her that he was leaving to live with the others, the ones he didn’t know? How could he possibly explain how he was going to get there and what he would do in this foreign land? Speaking so little had equipped him with some surprising ways of communicating. Sometimes just a gesture or facial expression conveyed enough. He assumed he would get by. He had done quite well in life so far. He had to leave, and nobody could know. A Houdini act. In the weeks and months that followed he was unaware of the searching, of the calls, the messages sent out to find him in the days after he went. He had no idea of the tears that were shed, or the chilling guilt that flooded her heart every time she was reminded of him. He had no idea of the chaos that was happening in her life, that losing him was another ingredient in a recipe of catastrophic change. The tiny hands of her children in hers, offering comfort, questions about his disappearance and the words they had just learnt, the way they said his name when they spoke of him were lost in the rough Autumn winds. He didn’t hear a thing. He didn’t hear a thing until the day she gently held him in her warm hands, looked with such joy and relief into his dark reptilian eyes and whispered “You silly thing, you were in the garden the whole time?” she laughed “You didn’t say anything about leaving, and why would you- You’re my tortoise”.

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