#so he throws himself sobbing at older riku

[coffeemira]

need an age regression/de-aging fic where a post-KH4 riku has to take care of a younger sora, and bb sora is just completely awestruck over how strong and kind and pretty (and tall!!) his best friend riku got… and is so transparently smitten that riku, who is actually dating present-day sora, is just like: wow we really were oblivious how did either of us miss sora’s glaring crush on me??

[thefinalkey16]

I’m going feral for Rikai, and here’s a random dump of headcanons and stuff I have for them

Okay so imagine that Kairi is the only one who Riku feels comfortable being himself around, along with Namine. Namine he feels more gentle around, because he feels the need to protect her. Kairi though, oh with Kairi he can be sassy. He can make fun of her and she’ll do it back. He can relax and smirk and be sassy with her and she’ll accept all of it. She never saw him when he joined the darkness, she’s the only one who doesn’t associate him with that.

With Sora he feels like he’s around glass, and that if he tries to be himself again he’ll remind Sora of all of that, so he tries to tease him gently. With Kairi though, he can be free, he can be a kid again.

He loves to pick her up. She always becomes a flustered mess and squirms, but he just nuzzles her hair with his nose and she settles down, cuddling into his chest. He loves holding her now, because her eyes are open, she’s awake. She wiggles every now and then, and she’s talking to him she isn’t the doll she used to be.

When she was kidnapped by the Organization, he had tried to let Sora be the hero, let him save her. When Saïx surrounded her with the dusks though... Riku saw red.

For the first time since Castle Oblivion, he wanted to kill. He nearly followed Saïx to finish the job, but as soon as he heard Kairi say his name, as soon as her hand touched him, it all faded. Now all he could see was her, and oh god how he wanted to just hold her, to hold her and cry because he hadn’t seen her in so long. He’d seen her dead, as an illusion, as Namine using Kairi as a way to help him. This was the first time she was real

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Riku took every and any chance he could to be near Kairi. He’s always walking either next to, right behind, or right in front of Kairi, Ready to protect her.

He’s still that way, but as soon as they get home he trains her. He knows she’s strong, and he knows he can’t always be there to protect her.

He stopped by for months while Kairi was training, insisting on overseeing it himself. He was confused when he saw the progress she made. It was a good amount of progress, and she knew a little more magic, but it was like Merlin wasn’t really teaching her. He’d hoped that it was just him imagining things, but when he watched her freeze as Terra prepared to strike her down, he knew that Yen Sid and Merlin hadn’t done that at all.

In fact, he realized that she was the sacrifice. She was the one they chose to die, because of course it had to be her. Of course her death would rally everyone to fight. Roxas and Xion has grown to love her through Sora’s memories, Aqua was fiercely protective and proud of her, having protected her as a child, Lea was practically her older brother, Ven and Terra knew that this was a princess of heart, she was important. And oh.. to him and Sora.. she was everything.

Only her death could have motivated all of them enough to murder, to do whatever it took to stop Xehanort. Watching her die, it broke him. She was gone. She wasn’t a doll, she didn’t just lose her heart. Xehanort *shattered* her.

He didn’t believe it at first. How could he? It was only when Sora hit the ground that he managed to move, and he screamed, he screamed as his heart shattered, and he was ready to kill this man, to make him pay. He took his light away, and he would *never* forgive that.

When she returned, when she was there, crying alone on the Paopu tree, he was the first to reach her. She barely had time to sob out his name before he crushed her to his chest, clinging to her as they both sobbed, each refusing to let go of the other. They had lost each other yet again, and now they lost Sora. But right now.. right now he needed to know she was here, that she was safe. He finally did what he was too scared to do before. He held her in his arms, he held her as she shook violently, sobbing apologies into his chest, tears streaming down her cheeks. He was the one to carry her home, he was the one to hold her at night as she had nightmares, as she couldn’t sleep. He stroked her hair as she flashed back to the moment she died, to the moment she was taken. He pressed his lips into her hair, pinning her to him as she struggled against the nightmares, whispering bay she was safe, Xehanort was gone. She was safe, Xehanort was gone..

She slept for three days. He refused to leave her side, and when he did, in order to shower and take care of himself, he left several dream eaters to cuddle her and chase away the nightmares. When she woke up, her arms wrapped around his waist, and she pulled herself close to him, whimpering more apologies. She kept apologizing, ashamed and angry with herself.

It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t. Yen Sid and Merlin refused to train her, so as soon as she as ready, he rained her, alongside the wayfinder trio. He trained her so her first instinct wasn’t to freeze, but to throw up a barrier. He knew that Kairi always froze in fear, and rather than try and force her out of that nature, he found ways to help her protect herself. He taught her reflect first, as well as aero. Ventus and Aqua taught her how to make barriers of light with a flick of her wrist. Terra helped her learn self defense, helping her escape from being grabbed, and teaching her hand to hand combat in case she couldn’t summon her keyblade.

Roxas and Xion helped her learn how to use her keyblade alongside Aqua. They taught her how to swing properly, and soon she had her own stance similar to Aqua’s, instead of just imitating Sora. Lea and Aqua helped her learn magic, and soon she was a master at spellcasting.

The progress was slow, but Kairi’s confidence grew, and when she was ready, when she passed her mark of mastery with flying colors, they went to save Sora.

[aliceslantern]

Until We Meet Again, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 4

The last thing Ienzo expects is to fall in love during the war. Unfortunately, impulses are much harder to fight when one is human. But then Demyx disappears under mysterious circumstances... and leaves Ienzo in a wholly unexpected and indelicate situation. But how to deal with such a thing when he can barely deal with being human?

Chapter summary:  Ienzo tries to raise the child on his own, but his hope for Demyx's return won't quite die.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Dilan and Aeleus visited him and the baby later in the day, when their rounds permitted. “What a secret to keep,” Dilan muttered, shaking his head. The newborn, in his arms, looked even smaller than she actually was. “ Really , Ienzo. Are you so terrified of inconveniencing anyone?”

He swallowed. Only Even knew of her true parentage, and Ansem and Aeleus had been too tactful to ask.

“Never thought you would become a parent first,” Dilan murmured. “Yes. Where is the creature that put you in this situation? I should pay them a visit. ”

Ienzo swallowed. “I’m not sure,” he said honestly. “But it… It wasn’t his fault, Dilan. Blame… faulty contraception.”

“Who was it? You’ve hardly left the castle in all this time--and this must’ve happened during--” His eyes went flat. “Ienzo.”

“Dilan.”

“Really? Demyx ? You couldn’t find yourself some village boy if you were that desperate?”

He scowled. “It wasn’t like that. He’s different than you remember, Dilan, there was more life in his eyes--”

“His gold eyes. And yet he still left you, and in this situation.”

Ienzo swallowed. “I didn’t know until six months out. If he truly left --that wasn’t the reason why.”

“And you haven’t been able to reach him?”

“...No.”

Dilan looked at Ienzo’s (still unnamed) daughter. “You love him,” he said simply.

He took a breath. “I do. Yes. I know it… makes no sense. But I’m so tired of fighting how I feel, Dilan. I know there’s no point hoping he’ll come back.”

“...He may never know about her.”

Ienzo felt a stab of pain. “Maybe not.”

A sigh. “Torrid drama, is it not?”

---

Ienzo found himself more scattered than ever before. His daughter needed a name. Dilan’s words haunted him, and Ienzo realized that he had been hoping for him to return somehow, miraculously.

Did I really mean so little to him ? Had this just been a fling on Demyx’s part? Something to pass the time? Did Ienzo truly understand him at all? Had he been wrong?

He devoted himself to study of a different kind, parenting books, books of baby names. Nothing seemed to fit quite right for a long while, until he happened to find a damaged photo of his mother while cleaning out a drawer for her clothes. Cara.

While he did have help from everyone else, Ienzo still felt very much… alone, other than his daughter. Mentally, he found it almost impossible to focus on work, even when he brought the baby with him. Mostly he felt very… tired, and constantly stressed that he wasn’t good enough for Cara.

About three weeks after her birth, he was giving her one of her night feedings. She had a little bit more awareness now, was able to keep her eyes open for periods of time, though they were still unfocused. She looked up at him hazily from her place at his breast. Ienzo looked out the window, rocking slightly in the rocking chair that had been dragged in. He found himself trying not to fall asleep, silvery moonlight dancing along the wall.

A loud crash in the hallway startled both of them, Cara losing her grip and starting to cry. Ienzo shushed her, a thick fear coming over him. Heartless were much rarer these days, but they weren’t gone . He reached for a spell and crept towards the door. “It’s okay, love,” he whispered to her. “I’ve got you.”

Slowly, Ienzo opened the door. There were sconces in the hallway, but the light was dim, and he squinted in the gloom. He held magic in one hand, ready to throw the spell, only to hear a voice, one that made his heart stop -- “Wait, wait, please don’t--Zo?”

He exhaled heavily.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was gone--” He stumbled. He sounded dazed.

“Demyx?”

He came into the light. He was worse for the wear, his hair lank, his face gaunt. His eyes were teal, not gold. Ienzo’s breath caught. Perhaps at his reaction, or his tight grip, Cara started to cry. “What’s that you’ve got?”

More footsteps, and then Ienzo saw Riku , of all people. “He ran ahead of me,” the boy said, panting. “We were looking for Sora and I found him--he asked for you.”

Ienzo could not move. Cara was still crying quietly, so he loosened his grip.

Demyx squinted. He was wobbling a little, his skin sallow. “Is that a… baby? Why do you have a--” He collapsed into a crumpled heap.

Riku crouched down next to him, and gently, Ienzo did too. “Thanks for bringing him,” Ienzo said numbly. His heart was pounding; with his free hand, he reached to take Demyx’s pulse; it was erratic.

“Of course,” the boy said. “He’s… a character, but he helped us. And I’d figured I’d get a status update on Kairi while I was here.”

“I should call Even. He looks very unwell.” He took out his phone, his hand shaking.

He nodded. Then, “...So… what’s the story about that?” Gesturing towards the baby.

Ienzo hesitated.

Riku raised a hand. “Right. None of my business.”

He swallowed. “She’s… mine. Actually… ours. ” Pressing his fingers against Demyx’s forehead. The other man had a fever, his skin flushed, sweaty.

His eyebrows shot up. “ Oh. ”

“It has been an unexpected situation,” he mumbled. “Putting it lightly.”

“I bet. Well… uh… congratulations, I guess.”

Ienzo sighed. “Thanks. Can you help me with him? Please?”

---

Demyx was thankfully easy to stabilize, though he wasn’t in good shape. It seemed as though he’d been living rough for quite some time; he seemed much smaller and thinner than Ienzo recalled. Ienzo saw the veins in his skin, faint splotches and scratches of bruises. With a jolt, he realized that the bed they’d placed him in was the one where he’d given birth--though it weren’t as though there were many options.

The relief was almost as strong as the nerves. He came back. He really came back. The heavy sense of loss and loneliness had eased. But how to explain Cara? “I haven’t seen you in months, here’s our daughter?” He couldn’t help but feel a bit smug when Dilan stuck his head in.

“Seems to be human,” Even said softly. His lip curled. “He must’ve really wanted to see you, to beg for you in such a state. Does that make you happy, Ienzo?”

He scowled, but then, “At least he can meet our daughter.” Cara was awake and blinking stiffly.

Even sighed. “Barring unforeseen complications, he should recover. Fever, malnutrition, and he was also anemic, which explains the collapse. I just--” He put a hand to his brow.

“What?”

“I suppose there really was some change,” he said softly. “He clawed his way back to you. Who’d have thought.” A groan. “I suppose things will get interesting now. Let’s see how he reacts.” He patted Ienzo’s shoulder. “Shout if you need me.”

It seemed to take eons for Demyx to come around; Ienzo was actually in the middle of feeding her when he heard him stir. Demyx gasped a little. “Zo,” he said, struggling to sit up. “Zo, I’m so--”

He turned back to him from the window.

Demyx squinted. “Is that… are you… I thought I dreamt the baby…”

“Not quite.” He sat down in the chair next to the bed.

He took a quick, almost pained breath. “Is it--”

“She’s ours.”

He blinked quickly, his eyes watering. “Oh,” he said. “Oh. I… I’m sorry, I tried to… I’ve been trying to get back for months , but I lost that power, and…” He was trembling. “I only ran because I didn’t want him to find me and hurt you if he knew we--”

His lips twitched in a hesitant smile. “What happened to the phone?”

He exhaled, unable to take his eyes off the baby. “Busted,” he said. “My power flared all weird when I lost the piece of his heart. Completely fried the circuits. I looked for months for a way to get back--I ended up seeing Riku almost by accident. And I knew that was my only chance.”

Ienzo hesitated. “I don’t know what I thought,” he said. “What happened between us was so new --”

He made an odd noise. “I’m a lot of things, but if I wanted out I would’ve at least texted you. No.” The tears ran over. “I felt like I finally had something to hold on to--to fight for--and then…” He reached out to touch Ienzo, his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You came back. That’s what matters.”

“She’s really mine?”

Ienzo nodded. “I didn’t even know until six months into the pregnancy. Almost no symptoms.”

He gasped out a sob. “Could I--”

Ienzo helped him sit up and eased Cara into his arms.

“I can’t believe I missed you,” he said to her. “I’m so sorry.”

“You came back.”

“You were alone with her.”

“Not really. Not quite.” He sighed. “Though explaining it to the others was… well. I went into labor before I could manage it. Quite dramatic.”

Demyx laughed through tears. “I want to be better,” he said. “I want to… help you, Ienzo.”

He leaned forward to kiss him. It tasted like salt and potential.

“Give me a chance to make it up to you,” he said. “I don’t care if the others hate me--I can’t believe--” He hugged Cara gently. “I’m a dad .”

“We both are.”

“I’m not alone anymore.”

Ienzo realized he must’ve been for months, however long it took him to find his way back, dealing with new humanity on his own, only clinging to the hope of seeing Ienzo again. “No. We aren’t.”

---

Once he’d gotten medicine and a few square meals, Demyx seemed more like himself. Humanity had softened something in his eyes--so had fatherhood. He adored Cara, and for the first few days would barely let anyone else touch her. Ienzo would catch him at odd moments singing softly to her, or just talking, like she was much older than just three weeks.

Ienzo was relieved. Having someone to share the moments with--and the night feedings--made him approach parenthood with less dread, less fear.

“He found out about her and he stayed ,” Dilan said softly. He and Ienzo watched Demyx feeding Cara in her new nursery. “I’d thought--well, hoped, really--to put the fear of god in him.”

Aeleus and Ansem had looked for a crib and other extra furniture in the castle, and had luckily find things still serviceable. All of these things ended up in one of the apartments in the castle, so Ienzo could live near her. ...And so could Demyx. Even hadn’t exactly been happy about that.

“Child, that’s part of how you got in this situation in the first place,” he’d hissed.

“He deserves to be near her too,” Ienzo said levelly. It wasn’t like he could have sex at the moment anyway, at least not for another few weeks; they were both too exhausted to be in that mood anyway. “He’s been nothing but good with her since he arrived.”

“I’m shocked, honestly,” Even said. “So wishy-washy, that one.”

“He’s always been alone,” Ienzo admitted. “He’s always wanted friends, family, someone… and it never worked out. It’s changing him. She’s changing him.”

“She’s changing you too,” Even said, squeezing his shoulder gently. “You deserve happiness, Ienzo. You deserve to pursue something for yourself.”

“Do I?” he asked softly.

“After twelve years of servitude to that awful creature? I should say so.”

“And of our mistakes?”

“Worthy of redemption,” Even said.

“I still must work to make a better world,” he murmured. “To-- help --I want to be good for her so badly.”

“And so you shall.”

---

As the weeks passed, and Cara grew, so did their relationship… their family . Seeing how well Demyx took care of their daughter, Even begrudgingly began to accept their love for what it was.

Demyx was a good father. He knew how to soothe her moods (because, it seemed, she had inherited Ienzo’s temper), how to get her to sleep, how to make her smile and laugh. There was a light and life in his eyes that Ienzo had never seen before; a maturity, too. It only increased the pull between them. He’d never seen Demyx work hard at something before. Ienzo was able to go back to helping investigate Kairi’s heart, to helping make the world better. But both Cara and Demyx were always at the forefront of his mind. He didn’t think it was possible to love so much, and so hard.

“The only thing I wish is that I could’ve been here with you,” Demyx said, one evening after they’d gotten Cara to sleep. “I wish I’d never left.”

“I wish that too,” Ienzo admitted, brushing his finger along Demyx’s cheek. “Demyx, if you’d have told me of your concerns… we could have figured it out. We could’ve protected you.”

“I’d done enough of hiding behind people, and making people work for me,” he’d said. “The minute Vexen asked me to help him… I don’t know. It… showed me there was a different way. I was needed . It felt good.” He laughed a little. “Honestly… I thought if I worked hard… it would make me look better for you.”

“It did,” Ienzo admitted. “Knowing you wanted to help changed everything.”

Demyx kissed him softly. “ You changed everything. At least for me. And then she did.” He glanced over his shoulder towards the cracked door that was their daughter’s nursery. “I know I can be more.”

“We both can,” Ienzo said. “I used to think I was a monster. But now… not so much.”

“Our life is ours now,” Demyx said. “Finally.”

“Finally.” Ienzo kissed him again, for a longer time. “I… look forward to it very much.”

---

It took Ienzo time to genuinely fall in love with Cara. He loved her; he would do anything for her. But in the beginning, before Demyx, she had been a source of stress. It was still stressful now, but seeing her learn and grow, and having a family to do it with, made it so much easier. He felt affection towards her more easily, especially when he nursed; it became less of a chore to do so. Ienzo found himself telling her stories, letting his power build the world around them, fairy tales, the stories of the good parts of his early life. The more awareness she gained, the more he loved it.

Ansem and the others were unexpectedly good sports about it; Even especially. He would stomp and pretend to huff in annoyance if Ienzo asked him to watch her for a few minutes, but Aeleus told him that often Even would ask to take her from him if the man was babysitting. Once, Demyx caught him cooing over her when he thought nobody was looking, and showed Ienzo a covert video he’d taken of Even singing Cara a lullaby.

For the first time since he’d been human… Ienzo thought he might be happy. He still had so much to do and so much to make up for. But the days lost the awful, dreading quality they’d had; he found he was able to work better, smarter.

“I’m glad,” Demyx said softly. “I know it was a… surprise , but I… I don’t think I could imagine life without her.” Cara looked up at him hazily.

““Surprise” is putting it lightly,” Ienzo said, chuckling a little. “She really didn’t let me know she was there. But I… know what you mean.”

Demyx met his eyes. “I couldn’t imagine it without you either,” he said. “If not for you… I don’t know. Where would I be? What would I be? Icky.”

Ienzo touched his throat. If not for the Riku replica, he'd still be Zexion… which… "I know what you mean." Cara curled a tiny fist around his finger. "What do you want, Demyx?"

"To take care of both of you. To make music."

"That will satisfy you?"

"I wanted not to be alone, and I'm not," he said. "What about you?"

It crashed over Ienzo, and his eyes watered. He thought of forgiving and being forgiven by his family, but… without rebuilding those bonds forgiveness was a selfish act. "I wanted that too."

Demyx leaned over to kiss him. "Us against the world."

He smiled. "Indeed it is."

"I can't wait to teach her everything. And--god. No shortage of grandpas, huh?"

"I think Dilan would kill you if he heard that." He chuckled. "But yes… there's so much to teach her. Her generation is the first to… be free of that mess. To be normal. " A tear broke free. Demyx brushed it away. "I have to make it worth it." He kissed her, and she snuffled. "I have to."

"We will." His eyes grew sharp, serious, and Ienzo felt a rush of love. "I won't leave you again."

"That so?"

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo. "I promise."

---

Demyx kept that promise.

Cara grew older, started toddling around, babbling. She looked more like Demyx, to Ienzo's pleasure, but seemed to be more like him in countenance. The weeks, months, years seemed to pass quickly. Sora returned… Ienzo turned his efforts towards helping the restoration committee and raising his daughter.

Demyx stayed. Their relationship took root, gave him a sense of someday, of waking up next to each other and thinking they might do this always, of… perhaps having a child on purpose. But those were thoughts for later.

"I suppose I should thank you," he murmured to the child in his arms after she had so hesitantly fallen asleep. "You made me see." He didn't think he could love at all in the beginning, much less so selflessly. He set her down gently in her crib and thought about the future.

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

Okay so I've been listening to Other Friends and Drift Away from the SU movie on loop for a couple days now (which was fueled further by both AnnaPantsu and Caleb Hyles releasing their covers God bless) and writing out my plans for my ongoing MoM!Sora to hammer out plot pieces and making sure everything fits neatly and like MoM!Sora being like Spindel hurts me sooo bad???

People constantly question how someone like Sora could ever seem as wacky and somewhat unstable at some points as the Master of Masters and I'm like?? SPINDEL!!!

Imagine Sora, a good hearted kid who has constantly given up his happiness for the universe, who threw away a chance at a normal life after KH1 AND KH2 because people (Riku/Roxas/Wayfinder Trio) needed him.

Imagine him suffering not only witnessing all his friends be murdered but then losing Kairi again all the while Xehanort gets off Scott free.

Imaging him wishing he ran the old fucker through with the X-Blade.

Imagine him realising he can't be with Kairi because his life must be exchanged for hers? Who has to accept the possibility of never seeing his friends who he all saved being happy and together? Who can't go home? Who never asked to be a keyblade wielder but had the responsibility unfairly shoved onto him while trained and qualified adults let him, a 14/15/16 kid, suffer so much and go through so much without help (YEN FUCKING SID I'M LOOKING AT YOU YOU HAT WEARING PENIS) or proper training aside from what he learnt himself through first hand experience? Who accepted the hurt of all those connected to him. Who was ridiculed and humiliated by his "friends" for not passing his Mark of Mastery despite it being rigged from the start? Who had all his feats and bravery beaten into the dirt and his self confidence knocked so much that he didn't think he could do anything without his friends beside him? Who never thought he was good enough? Who was betrayed (Riku/Donald &Goofy) and used/manipulated by so many to clean up mistakes that had nothing to do with him (Yen Sid/Mickey/Ansem the Wise)?

Much like how Pink Diamond being gone and replaced by Steven who didn't even know she existed was the breaking point for Spindel after all her suffering and mistreatment, I could see Sora somehow ending up in the past and realising everything he must do, all the suffering that must happen to innocents like him to assure that the 'good future' happens would be Sora's breaking point.

Imagine how utterly shattered Sora would be to learn that he has to be the one to make Xehanort. He has to start all this suffering, he has to let all this hurt happen.

Imagine him being forced to see, through his eye, all his friends suffering and dying and him losing Kairi again over and over and over again.

Imagine him realising that his new little family, his loving kids students that he has raised and taught everything he could so they could have what he never got, must be broken for the greater good.

Imagine him realising that he must send Luxu -- sweet, mischievous Luxu --out on his own for thousands of years so his eye can see everything so that everything can be set for him to actual bring about that best future.

Imagine him knowing from the start what will happen to his students and Daybreak Town and not being able to tell anyone ever.

Imagine him seeing all the keyblade wielders and having to live with himself over sending them to their deaths.

Imagine him crying every night for years.

Imagine the hurt being too much and the darkness starts to trickle in.

Imagine him keeping up a strong façade for his students and acting like everything is fine but it isn't. It's never been okay.

Imagine him beginning to fall into darkness and barely holding on because people need him people always need him but strands of his hair have begun to go silver and his eyes are speckled with gold and his fingers and arms start to go black and red like Aqua.

Imagine him having to start wearing the organisation coat to hide these signs and he nearly throws up when he has to give Luxu one because no no no no no no not Luxu please don't make him look like them-

Imagine he eventually learning that Luxu is Xigbar.

Imagine him making No Name and sobbing his eyes out and knocking over furniture and punching a wall hard enough to break bone but not caring because the pain of his heart hurts more.

Imagine him having a front row seat to see Xehanort stab and murder Kairi and hearing his younger self screaming and crying and forcing himself not to shout and break something because after all that time why her.

Imagine him making himself more funny and goofy because he has no idea how to cope and this ship runs on happy faces keep them happy keep them oblivious.

Imagine him making his movements and actions more dramatic and obvious to hide the injuries he gives himself when he sees a bad memory and hits the closest thing to him but doesn't want his students to know.

Imagine him having to write the misery of everyone he ever knew and all the suffering he had to go through over and over and over again multiple times for each Book Of Prophecies.

Imagine him seeing and experiencing everything every wielder of No Name goes through and picking up little habits because their hearts connected to the keyblade and he's connected to it.

Imagine him seeing Xehanort for the first time. Not old and bald, but a young, nervous teenager brought to Scala Ed Caelum.

Imagine him seeing all of Xehanort and Eraqus' chess matches and games and crying whenever he realises how their story ends.

Imagine him seeing Xehanort being given the Mark of Mastery and freezing because he felt proud of him.

Imagine him watching as Xehanort becomes older and twisted and obsessed with balance and seeing him become the monster that Sora knew.

Imagine time going on and he starts going by the title the people of Daybreak Town gave him because he isn't Sora anymore -- Sora is light and happiness and innocence and saving people and all he does is make people suffer and cause a war and create a monster.

Imagine him giving Ava her role and being completely serious with her because she always knew when he was upset and he'd probably break down if she asked him.

Imagine him seeing so much of his friends in the foretellers, which influenced him picking them.

Imagine him calling Ira 'Riku' accidentally or Ava 'Kairi' when she was sparring practice with Aced and he swung slightly too hard.

Imagine him never sleeping around the Foretellers because he had a nightmare once and he knows they heard him screaming before Invi managed to wake him up.

Imagine him originally created Chirithy to help with his own nightmares and then deciding to give all the wielders and foretellers ones so that in the future they won't suffer and be alone like he was.

Imagine him giving the Chirithy the mark of the Dream Eater and silver fur that reminded him of Riku because they will protect their wielders no matter what and dive into the darkness for them if they have to.

Imagine him giving them Kairi’s blue eyes and the pink pouch with the lux symbol which he based on her lucky charm because like her lucky charm the Chirithy will always be their for their wielders and give them strength and support..

Imagine him keeping Kairi's lucky charm on him all the time and squeezing it whenever he wants to stop the future and save all the wielders because he knows the future needs to happen.

Imagine him realising that he may one day see his friends again.

Imagine him realising he doesn't want to because he isn't Sora anymore. Because he stopped being Sora so long ago and has worn his own invisible mask for so long he isn't sure who he is anymore but people need the Master OF Masters.

Imagine him eventually having to fight his old friends and allies and people he knew and loved.

Imagine him fighting Riku and/or Kairi and they learn who he is and won't fight back and he just gets angrier and angrier and the darkness nearly swallow him because this is all he has now they have to fight him they have to win they have to get stronger why does he want to fight them they're his friends he just wants his friends he just wants to go home

Imagine Sora breaking down for the first time in centuries and just starts sobbing because it hurts it hurts it hurts and he fully accepts them destroying him but they don't and they hug him and everyone rushes to him because he's alive and he's still Sora they know he's still Sora and

Imagine that the second he finds the strength to get to his feet Roxas knocks him back onto the ground and starts crying because he was wrong Sora didn't deserve that hurt and he was sorry and he never got a chance to thank him and tell him he was sorry for everything he put him through and they all hug and Donald and Goofy and Mickey are sobbing and just

Imagine the Foretellers finally seeing their Master's face and realising who he is.

People who say Sora being the MoM is boring and can't be used from angst and development and aNGsT need to come talk to me because bOY THIS SHIT HURTS AND I LOVE IT.

[bookwormally]

Sora’s not exactly sure when it started. He was young, he knows that much, that he hadn’t quite started school or maybe he had, but hadn’t been attending for very long. Riku was already living on the island and maybe Kairi was too, but the details are muddy that far back; a child’s memory indistinct expect for long sunny days and adventures that have faded to scribbles in a cave. He was young, and his nightmares suddenly got worse.

But they got worse and then someone else appeared and always made sure they ended okay. The nightmares were indistinct things, shadows attacking him, the feeling of being pulled apart, something shapeless following him through familiar places stretched into unfamiliar shapes. Nightmares, not wholly unusual for a kid. It’s when the shadows grew eyes and the following thing grew a hunched back and claws that help came.

Help wasn’t much brighter than the shadows or kind. Help had a big sword, heavy with chains and cruel looking teeth, but the sword was only ever used to cut down the shadows, the monsters, the shapes that scared him. It cut them down and things went grey and Sora would feel his heartbeat slow back to normal. Help never lingered, not at first. Just as quickly as the figure came, it disappeared.

His mom talked of guardian spirits and Sora knew that was what was happening. Somehow the spirit knew he needed help and came to save him. He’s still young the first time he manages to thank the spirit, shouting it just before they disappear. He does it almost every time and they never stay, not for a long time.

Sora is older, nearly twelve, and his nightmares are different now. He dreams of darkness still, and things following him, but also of his friends disappearing, of being lost and scared. He clenches his fingers into his palms and feels a gap of something lost. He cries.

The spirit still comes, but they can only cut down the darkness. They can’t return his friends and never seems certain what to do when Sora wraps his arms around himself and sobs. Sometimes they just vanish again.

One time they sit beside him and awkwardly pat his back. It’s not as good as his mom or the hugs Riku would give him when they were little or the hugs Kairi gives him now. But, it’s better than being alone and the spirit stays until he stops crying. They don’t talk, they’ve never talked, but spirits aren’t meant to talk, so that’s alright.

Sora tells them thank you and this time, they look at him. They’ve always been a shadowy shape, only slightly brighter than the ones they chase away. The spirit shivers at their edges and Sora sees something like his face on theirs for a second. Then they nod and disappear.

He’s about thirteen when the spirit starts wearing his face regularly. It’s weird, but not entirely strange in the logic of a dream. Sora doesn’t mind too much. It’s actually sort of fun to see the expressions the spirit will wear. They frown more than he does and their eyes glow like stars instead of the noon sky people always tell Sora about. The spirit is serious, but they’re better at sitting with him in the nightmares that can’t be beaten back.

He still says thank you and sometimes babbles about his life. The spirit listens, but never talks back. They nod before leaving now, acknowledgement that seems a bit awkward. Sora never expects them to talk back, but he can’t help but ask questions sometimes.

Sora has just turned fourteen when he sleepily asks for the spirit’s name right at the end of a dream. The spirit looks at him, presses their lips together tightly, and then touches the center of their chest. Sora’s eyes are slipping closed, a sure sign that he’s about to wake up. Everything’s going grey when a rough voice says, “Vanitas.”

The world ends and the shadows crawl out of his nightmares and Sora’s guardian spirit does not come with them. A key of light comes instead, reminding Sora of dreams and faded memories. He’s too exhausted for dreams most nights, collapsing into a bunk in the gummi ship. But his dreams are never things of light anymore.

Vanitas doesn’t wait for a nightmare now. He appears, his own dark key in hand, and holds a hand out to Sora. Sora takes it and Vanitas pulls him to his feet. His guardian spirit is sharper now, short words that explain things, attacks. They tug his arms into better positions, show him how to move more smoothly from one attack to another, how to guard himself. It doesn’t make for restful dreams and Sora wakes up with his mind still tired.

His body remembers. Vanitas doesn’t appear from his nightmares to fight the real shadows, but Sora’s guard is better and he knows how to move around a monster and strike it down quickly. He fights the shadows now, he wins, he locks worlds.

He finds Riku, loses him, finds Kairi. Sora takes up a keyblade made for unlocking hearts. He smiles at his new friends and then digs the point into his chest.

Sora becomes the shadows, the monsters he’s dreamed about since he was small. Twitching limbs, claws, and eyes that glow like stars, the darkness wraps around him.

One part of the darkness wraps around his heart, shielding it from the worst of the dark around him. It feels like thorns and anger and hate; it feels like a hand awkwardly patting his back and thrusting his arm higher to better protect his center. His guardian spirit does not abandon him to the dark.

After Kairi burns it all away and calls him back, after they escape back to Traverse Town and collapse into beds, exhausted beyond measure, Sora expects a dreamless sleep. He’s glad he doesn’t get one.

The halls of his dreams are all bright white tonight, pulsing with strange chains. Vanitas is leaning against a pillar or maybe a throne? Its top disappears into the ceiling. Sora throws himself forward, shaking, and Vanitas wraps their arms around him, holding him tight. “If you ever do something that stupid again, I’m going to kill you,” Vanitas hisses in his ear. 

Sora nods and holds on. He’s never sure how long his dreams will last, but this one lets him linger, lets him stay until his shaking lessens and his throat isn’t tight. Vanitas stays and keeps watch with eyes like stars.

Tomorrow will come, but he doesn’t face his nightmares alone. Not the ones in his dreams and not the ones that crawl out of the dark places in the worlds.

[0athbounded]

Believe in me.

Premise: post KH3+, where Sora finally returns to the others after a long period of two years.

A/N: I ended up scrapping this due to a lack of further plot ideas, but maybe you’d like it.

A shattered world floated around them, a multidimensional threat of a robotic boss glared at the barrier that had been cast around Riku. A barrier that had stopped the final blow. A boy smiled at Riku, washing every single one of his fears and doubts away. Granting him courage. His hope, his light.

/You’ve always been by my side./

“Sora?” Riku asked, wondering if he was real.

“Yeah!” Sora confirmed in return. Riku smiled back and they both nodded once, their smiles fading but not completely disappearing.

The side of Riku hand and arm leaned against Sora’s, both of them suddenly focused on the final enemy before them. They both moved in unison, knowing each other’s moves even after these years apart.

“HaaaAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” They both yelled, pouring their everything into their combined keyblade, making it larger and larger until it was nearly the height of the boss itself.

It only took one slash to completely obliterate it, but the power it took made Riku’s vision fade out. He felt someone hold onto him tightly.

Riku woke up laying upon what felt like a pile of rocks. He groaned and opened his eyes to be met with a cloudy sky. He tried to sit up, but his arms was entangled in another’s. He looked to the side to see Sora, open mouthed, drooling, and sleeping like nothing was wrong. Another smile was brought to Riku’s lips and he laced his fingers through Sora’s, squeezing his hand tightly.

“I finally found you.” He said softly, relief bringing tears to his eyes, “Sora…”

Sora didn’t look any older, still the 16ish-year-old boy he was when Riku lost him. Riku, in contrast, had grown some more, looking rather mature for his age even if he was nineteen. Sora did, however, seem almost more feminine, with odd clothes and even pierced ears. And when his crystal blue eyes fluttered open and lit up at seeing him, there was a sudden vastness in them that suddenly scared Riku-

“Riku! I made it!” Sora cried out, suddenly glomping him with such force that Riku had to put his hand out and grab a slab of granite to prevent from falling over. He awkwardly reached behind Sora to pat his spiky bangs, and before he knew it a few tears dripped down his face as he shook. Sora was no better, his breath suddenly hiccuping into a few sobs.

Riku noticed movement- civilians and Yozora’s gang were coming out of the ruined city around them, starting to gather. A girl who looked remarkably like Kairi was embraced in Yozora’s arm, and Riku knew that once this new Princess of Heart was in his hands, then this world would be safe, no matter what may come.

“Sora… let’s go home.” He said softly. Sora looked up at him, and then around them, sniffling and wiping at his tears. He had that look on his face as he looked at the ruined world… Riku knew what he was thinking.

“They’ll be fine. Yozora and his friends are going to help the people rebuild their city.” Riku tried to explain gently. Once Sora made up his mind to help someone, nothing could stop him. Selfish as this wish was, after years of fighting and searching... Riku just wanted to bring Sora home.

As if on cue, Sasha, the Kairi-look-alike raised her hands, her light magic surrounding her in fluttering streamers of aura. Telekinesis lifted up the building blocks around them, and they started to  piece themselves back into the skyscrapers they were to begin with.

“Okay. It looks like they got things under control!” Sora concluded in a cheery tone, but his face was sad as he looked at all the work they would have to do, “I just keep involving and hurting people in my own problems…” He said softly.

“No. This was their problem to begin with. If anything, I was helping them get rid of their problem. And without you, this world might have been destroyed after all. But now they can rebuild it.” Riku countered. Sora looked at him, and quickly swallowed his hurt, smiling.

“I always have your back, Riku!” Sora cheered. Riku smiled back, but before he could reply someone interrupted him.

“Riku.” Yozora called. Riku put his feet under himself to stand. Sora helped him, and they leaned on one another, still borrowing each other’s strength. Riku tried to take more of the burden, but Sora pulled him back gently.

Yozora’s red and blue gaze looked over the two, before he crossed his arms.

“You have to go, don’t you.” He said matter-of-factly.

“We don’t /have/ to! We can help you out for a little bit!” Sora offered. Yozora seemed to cringe slightly from Sora’s light and looked to Riku. Riku knew, because he and Yozora had similar personalities, that his ‘I’m done here’ stare got to the other crystal clear.

“You finally found the person you were searching for.” Yozora stated, and waved his hand, as if to brush them off, “Go. We’ve got this under control.”

“You sure?” Sora asked, and Yozora glared at him.

“Right… Thank you.” Riku said, smirking somewhat, and summoned his keyblade.

“Come see our progress for yourself in a few months if you’re so worried.” Yozora told them, and turned away to go back to his group.

“Right!” Sora agreed eagerly. Riku summoned his keyblade, eager to get back home, and Sora summoned his own. They both lifted their now-very-heavy keyblades, their arms slightly shaking. A beam of light from the tips opened a portal in front of them.

Too tired to say another word, both Sora and Riku walked through the portal.

~~~~~~~~

A comet in the middle of the night blazed, waking up Destiny Island’s inhabitants gradually except for one- Namine’s heart rapidly and she immediately scrambled to throw some clothes on and run outside, ignoring the voice of Kairi’s mother asking what was wrong as she used her powers to open a Dark Corridor. A brief run through the darkness, and she was on Destiny islands, the moonlight making the sand, sea, and the two boys within the water who sputtered and laughed, they all sparkled like diamonds. Namine found herself desperately wishing Kairi was here. Of all nights to be on the Land of Departure to train!

“Riku? S… Sora!” Namine worked up the courage to call, feeling nowhere near worthy enough to welcome them both back home. But Sora rushing through the water, his bright smile and flailing, it made her, just for a moment, feel like the center of the world.

“Namine! They got you a body!” Sora cheered, and shook his head, dripping wet. Riku hung back, but Sora quickly claimed her attention again as he bounced close to her personal space, which he immediately stepped back from when he sensed her discomfort.

“Yes…” Namine said softly, unable to find more words as she looked at his eyes, still so bright, but almost too much so, something in his flitting gaze scared her, “Sora, are you alright?” She couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m fine! It’s great to be back. Is Kairi still asleep?”

Namine tried not to show how his words hurt. /She/ was the one who wanted to be cherished, but the way he was so happy to see her again was… enough. “She’s training with her keyblade at the Land of Departure. She wanted someone to stay here in case you came back. I volunteered.”

“I’m glad it was you. I can finally thank you in person.” Sora said, and reached out to gently take her hand in both of his.

/So you could get it over with? So you don’t have to care about me anymore?/ Namine wondered, but when Sora intertwined his pinkie in hers that dark jealousy was suddenly washed away. He took a moment, his eyes looking at the gesture in a mixture of confusion and acceptance. He looked at her, a soft smile on his lips.

“Thank you, Namine.” He said with such certainty. No finality. He truly wanted to connect with her, and even if the depth of his heart had become scary the pure light in his everything still remained, wanting to connect.

/Even if you forget, the memories don’t ever truly disappear./ Namine remembered her own words, and a smile came across her face as tears sparkled in her eyes. She nodded with a smile of her own. Like Riku said, it was hard to not smile around Sora.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kairi was brought to wakefulness, and even when it was the middle of the night she knew there was no way she was going back to sleep. Her heart was aching, thundering, telling her to move, to go, a longing so deep it made her bones ache.

“Sora?” She asked softly.