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offtopicoverload · 3 years

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What’s Willow like also? And do you have headcanons for Elisa? In the event I actually write something Elisa related. I’ve got too many ideas, yet not enough time or brain space and it’s annoying!

i’ll do elisa first and willow under the cut so i dont have to split these up to keep them short

also, dont trust me on these, i just say whatever comes to mind and try to pretend its canon

I highly recommend playing her route if you haven’t, dumping Marisol sucks, but it made me so much more confident in writing her for the Kissing Prompts

She’s obviously super flirty and outgoing, but also super sweet. I have a screen cap of her kissing MC on the nose on the terrace, and she does a lot of stuff like that

I feel like she’s the type to not know how to cook shit, she only eats takeaway unless her partner makes food for her

And if someone does make food for her, she gets super excited and thinks its the sweetest thing ever

She’s super competitive, even if it’s not totally intentional. It’s just drilled into her at this point that if she’s not the best at something, she has to become the best. She needs all eyes on her or it’s not worth it

I think this also means that she quits stuff pretty easy. Like maybe she gets curious about playing piano or something, but struggles with it a little and just quits almost immediately

That’s not to say she’s not artistic or talented outside of makeup and fashion, I think she’d be great at drawing and painting, especially since she has to know so much about colour theory to do makeup

I kinda wanna see her try body paint, like do something really insane, or try special effects makeup. I don’t see her doing it unprovoked, but if someone suggests it (or challenges her to do it) I think she’d really enjoy it

I think I put this in another hcs list, but she has a younger sister she dotes on. She buys her whatever she wants, takes her on trips, spoils her in the way she wanted to be spoiled when she was her age

And she’s obviously super open about sexuality, and I think her sister would be a big reason for that - she doesn’t want her sister to feel weird if she happens to be queer, or just being sexually active, and she honestly doesn’t want any of her younger followers to be shamed for embracing their sexuality

She really likes running, if she’s ever upset or pissed, she’ll just do a few laps around the block or something to calm down. Tho, it doesn’t always do much

I feel like she might not know how to speak another language, but be super interested in French maybe? And Paris is like her dream vacation? I dunno, maybe

I think she’s really affectionate, but is somehow different with a partner. Like she throws around ‘babes’ and a ton of compliments (very Priya-esque), but is a lot more genuine with a partner

If she gets an idea, she’s executing it as soon as she can. This applies to literally everything - makeup look? She’s doing it as soon as she gets home. Craving for the Italian restaurant three blocks away? You’re going tonight. The hot person sitting a few rows down on the train? She’s asking them out first chance she gets

She’s not the best at talking through feelings, she’s either alarmingly blunt, or avoids the topic as a whole. Like her confession in the kitchen? I think she does that sort of thing when she can only really benefit from it, but if she fights with her partner and talking about it will only cause another fight, she’ll ignore it and buy presents until they forgive her

Canonically likes to be spoiled, but also likes to be the one showing off. If she’s the one that makes the money, she’s cool with buying the big gifts, but her partner has to do something equivalent (like cooking lmao)

as for willow, she’ll be right under the cut

So for her time in the Villa, she was initially coupled up with Ibrahim, then Lucas, then Marisol, then Elisa. She also kissed Noah cuz Hope stole him and she fancied him a little. But after CA, that was very much so dead

I hate the canon Marisol breakup, so I’m ignoring it

Her and Marisol broke up amicably after it was clear they weren’t going to work out

Willow does not get jealous, like at all. If she’s with someone, she trusts them unequivocally, and if they break that, then no point stressing, just move on

So when Marisol got jealous after the Returning Henrik date, she did a horrible job comforting her, and they fought

Next day things had calmed down, but they still weren’t great, and the Day 25 Challenge showed they both had different priorities and just kinda clashed from being too similar

At that point, she’d been talking with Elisa, but keeping it platonic. The trust thing goes two ways, even when she fought with Marisol she would never have cheated on her, that’s not how relationships work in her mind

So she was always shutting Elisa’s flirtations down, but still basically saying she was cool to be friends for now, maybe something more at another time

She’s an only child to a single dad who worked a lot when she was younger, so her dog was like her best friend

It’s why she went into shelter work, to help other kids find best friends and give the animals better lives

She comes off like a stubborn hardass (which she is) but she’s also super soft and melts for any and all animals

Crazy good cook, it’s a huge hobby of hers and huge plus for Elisa lmao

It takes her a while to move to London with Elisa. Elisa doesn’t want to move a risk losing opportunities, and Willow just has a hard time leaving the shelter, but they end up hiring a few people before she leaves and that makes her feel better

She’s made a bad habit of accidentally upsetting people that she doesn’t mean to upset. Chelsea was a big one, she was just too harsh for her, and had to work on being nicer

But sometimes being mean helps, like when Lottie was on her girl code bs, Willow was not a fan and made that very clear

That also meant that she bonded with Priya a lot, and Hope after all the Noah drama settled

She originally wanted to be a vet and even started uni for it, but it was super stressful and she dropped out when the course load got too much and just applied to the shelter

She definitely empathised with Rocco for that very reason, as much as she couldn’t stand him and his flirting and just general attitude

She wasn’t ever super serious with any of the guys (other than Noah), they just didn’t appeal to her that much outside of being mates

She saved Lucas from stick or switch cuz they’d been coupled up and she got on with him pretty well

She hates parties and events and attention and Elisa has to nearly drag her out of the flat when they have somewhere to be

She also avoids Elisa’s livestreams as much as possible and will straight up leave the flat for like six hours with no warning if Elisa’s going to be working all day on a weekend

She’ll just grab a book and go to a park and sit until Elisa’s blowing up her phone and she has to go home and make dinner

That definitely causes some issues between them. Elisa’s always glued to her phone and can’t understand how Willow can go off the grid so easily and not care

They also fight over Willow’s whole trust thing. Elisa will get jealous or expect Willow to be jealous, and she’s totally fine, and Elisa just doesn’t get it

But Willow not really being on social media kinda helps that, and makes it easier for them to keep things private, and if anything, Willow forces Elisa to set some boundaries

Willow for sure gets a lizard at some point, maybe a gecko. I dunno, but Willow with a lizard just sounds so dope

She likes neutral and darker colours, most of her wardrobe is blacks and greys, and a lot of it mens or androgynous clothes

If Elisa successfully drags her to an event, she’s wearing a suit and just dutifully standing by Elisa all night until they can go home and watch movies until they fall asleep

She’s just super domestic and doesn’t even realise it, like she’ll fight Elisa on going out on dates until they just stay at home cuz shes very, very stubborn

#litg elisa #willow stewart #thank youuuu #any excuse to ramble is much appreciated #can it kc #asks #pocketful of sunshine

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datingdonovan · 4 years

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1-14 for the soft asks, please!

AAAAA thank you so much!!! oh my WORD wow you all are about to learn way too much about me im sorry lol. also sorry for the fact that i posted this ask meme knowing full well i wouldn't do the responses for like a day smh lol well here we are.

1. what song makes you feel better? oh gosh uhhhh i like just rocking out to my classic late 90s/early 2000s stuff that was on the radio when i was a kid but also like idk if theres a song i specifically love listening to for cheering up purposes. but those are the ones that really make me feel good and hype i think. maybe also yellow submarine?

2. what’s your feel good movie? the proposal 100%

3. what’s your favorite candle scent? uhh vanilla

4. what flower would you like to be given? golly idk honestly i dont know if i want to be given flower? but if you have to like a small cute handpicked flower or bunch would be nicer than a bouquet i think but honestly just pop off because im sure if i like u i will appreciate your flower lol

5. who do you feel the most you around? hmmm probably my bff & our gal pals :):):):):) i think? or like that’s the me i want to be i guess if that makes sense

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical) wow im determined, i think im funny lol, and im a pretty great editor tbh. i love my HAIR and my eyes and i like that my body type lets me get abs if i want because i think theyre cool

7. what color brings you peace? idk my thinks were yellow but thats just my fave color, then green then dark blue. i feel like green is a good winner for bringing me peace lol

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good awww YOU and all my mutuals/followers/etc ofc and specifically also @stellar-alley & @hausofwax!! i love u <3

9. what calms you down? honestly i feel like a lot of the time talking to myself, going on a walk, or going on a walk while talking to myself are the ways i calm down when i get really worked up lol

10. what’s something you’re excited for? i really just want to make music videos and whenever i get the time i have some in mind so im hype for that whenever i can do it

11. what’s your ideal date? oh gosh i feel like i always say a theme park but idk. i feel like after my dating experiences honestly my ideal date would just be where i can ask them real questions and talk to them candidly lol because im sorta sick of the bs

12. how are you? i ok i sort of sad lately but also sort of excited to work on some creative projects but also feeling overwhelmed and like i have lots of other responsibilities i havent done yet rip

13. what’s your comfort food? i really love pad see ew when im in need lol thats def my top one. also bojangles chicken & biscuits apparently idk those are both 2 foods that ill go out of my way to get when i just need it lol

14. favorite feel-good show? gosh i feel like feel good media is such a weird idea to me because typically if im sad i just watch something that makes me cry instead of something that makes me happY?? so like for the feel good songs i would just listen to sad songs lol till i feel like ive cried it out. here i want to say TEOTFW because like even tho it makes me SOB it also makes me feel so good???? and understood? that show really makes me feel understood and laugh and also gives me a good cry so in a weird way even tho it can be cry inducing it is my feel good show????? i guess? i dont know honestly if im feeling anxious any show is a feel good show bc its an escape from reality lol

wow thank u for these they were so fun you lovely person i hope you’re having a wonderful day

ask me softly

#long post #me #ask #shut-up-murphy #thank u :):):)#crewcore #leahcore #because i mentioned u :)

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 5 years

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CHATS: More Dumpsters, More Fires 2

#1 - Jo and Anna discussing one of the ‘breaks’ Anna and Gray go on.

<Ellen> oh did you read the gray/anna?

<Jo> YES

<Jo> Oh god Anna

<Jo> Anna sweetheart, what did you do?

<Ellen> killed her relationship

<Jo> Brilliantly so

<Jo> But god :c

<Ellen> I know

<Ellen> she’s pretty much not moved

<Ellen> she grumbled at lexy once who was being mean about why gray would make a bad dad

<Ellen> and thats been it

<Ellen> I keep poking her with a stick ever so often

<Jo> Oh wowsers

<Ellen> yea

<Jo> Is she gonna be okay?

<Ellen> um

<Ellen> *prods her with a stick*

<Ellen> nooooot really sure

<Jo> Hmmmmm… any chance when all the Crowley stuff is done she’d try going back now?

<Ellen> yea she did it to protect everything

<Ellen> but she’s not sure if Gray will ever get over it

<Jo> Probably not

<Ellen> she’s just waiting for Crowley to kill her

<Jo> Anna really is the queen of the deathwish sometimes

<Ellen> ack closed window

<Ellen> missed it

<Jo> <Jo> Anna really is the queen of the deathwish sometimes

<Ellen> she is

<Ellen> she misses Gray

<Jo> “Then she should just buck up, apologise for being a bitch, say she was lying and that she’s scared and made a horrible mistake and get his asshole ass back.” What I think Jo was trying to say is maybe she should give in some of her pride this time, unless she wants things to go the way of her last relationship with just walking out the door.

<Ellen> wow..she just rolled over more..

* Ellen is now known as Anna

<Jo> “…. Woops?” I apologise for Jo causing her to roll over and die some more :c

<Anna> she’s worried that if she tells Gray that she didn’t mean it then it would just piss crowley off

<Anna> because Gray won’t listen to reason

<Jo> *nodnod* THat sounds likely, but I get the feeling Gray would be happy if Anna grovelled a bit

<Anna> “But what good would it do if he was happy and Crowley decided to take it out on him or worse Ellen..”

<Jo> “As it stands, you wiped out whatever handing over of /anyone/ aside from yourself that’s happened so if he goes after Ellen then it’s just my fault for being related to her. As for him taking it out on Gray, I get the feeling something like that would happen eventually any way”

<Anna> “I don’t know what to do.”

<Jo> “God damn, well what do you /want/ Anna? Take all the reasons why you wouldnt or anything else like that out of the equation and just tell me what you want.”

<Anna> “What I want doesn’t matter. not if messes up getting Crowley.”

<Jo> “Hypothetically, if Crowley was gone, what would you want then? Jesus, you’re the worst to get a straight answer from.”

<Anna> “Things the way they were before.”

<Jo> “So fuck Crowley, fuck what might happen and do what you want to do then! Hell, that’s the motto I’m currently living by.”

<Anna> “I’m not you and everytime I’ve went after what I’ve wanted it’s ended bad.”

<Jo> “I still say fuck what could happen, dont be a pussy about it and own up to what you want and do what you can to have and keep it.”

<Anna> “Maybe..”

<Jo> “Do it.”

<Anna> “Gray’s not going to get over it.”

<Jo> “Well make him think he’s the man again, or whatever his problem was. He gave up a lot of his dignity for him, you could be nice and do the same.”

<Anna> “It’s not like i’ve got anything left..”

<Jo> “… Really? You seriously dont think you have some sort of way of showing that, oh hey, maybe /youre/ not the one in control of this..whatever? That he knows and can tell just how far you’ve gone for him? Because I’ve been in his spot, and all I ever got was uppity holier-than-thou bullshit and nothing at all that made me think that maybe, just maybe, you would bend on a topic or two and hand some sort of control over.”

<Anna> “then by your own experience and the fact you’re happier now..you’ve just shown he’s better off without me.”

<Jo> “Actually, I’m happier now because I’m getting to do what I want and actually have some of that control - I get to be myself. Gray on the other hand… is no where near better off without you. He’s just a target with an arrow pointing at his head. With you? If you’d let him be the goddamn man..”

<Jo> (She means outside the bedroom or in the nonsex relationship stuff obvs)

<Anna> “Fine Jo..”

<Anna> (there is so much irony in this conversation)

<Jo> “Fine what?”

<Jo> (There is. Its hilarious)

<Anna> “you’re right.”

<Jo> “That you should give some of that pride of yours away and apologise? Say you were lying and stupid and you want him back and you’re obviously too proud usually to admit it but that for his sake and forgiveness you will and will let him take back some of that precious control, so the both of you can be happy?”

<Anna> “yes..”

<Jo> “Glad to hear it. Don’t fuck it up this time.”

<Anna> “sure.”

<Anna> and Anna’s never intending to talk to Gray..she’s just trying to shut Jo up

<Jo> “Sure sure.”

<Jo> LOL I wouldnt have expected otherwise

#2 - Anna getting pissy and shitty over Grey, and Grey/Jo and taking it out on Jo. Jo trying to defuse situation but it gets worse

<Anna> wow..

<Anna> bitter much anna

<Jo> ??

<Anna> “funny..how I’m the high and mighty bitch but everything revolves around Jo’s perspective and how people get to live based on her ideals. Fuck that.”

<Jo> “I wasnt saying you have to live by it, but that’s how I view things and how I’m going to work in this world and if you have an issue with that- oh wait, you do. You gave me shit about it for months and months, so that’s really not a new conclusion you’re coming to there, Anna.”

<Anna> “if everything is so black and white then why isn’t she killing humans? Why isn’t Grey killing them? Humans kill for stupid reason, least most of the time when monsters kill they kill to survive. It’s not exactly fair they are punished for being created for population control of the human race.”

<Jo> “Humans are killed and punished for hurting other humans, and if I come across a case where its some fucked up asshole doing the dirty work? I will get that fucker put in jail. Now, if you want to start up some jailing system for monsters who go outside of their dietary needs and requirements, then go right ahead I’ll round you up some prisoners. But otherwise? This is my goddamn job and I don't care if its there nature - things go against them all the time - so unless theyre able to control their shit? I don’t give a fuck and I will be protecting other human beings.”

<Anna> “Then start with the Grey”

<Jo> “He hasn’t hurt anybody.”

<Anna> “That’s right..I’m not human..fuck you.”

<Jo> “You spend so long saying you'e an angel. Unless you’re going to throw that all out and stop with the high and mighty crap, then I’m not going to say you are. You can’t have best of both worlds, Anna, you’re not Hannah Montana”

<Anna> “Whatever. You’re idea of friends is as black and white as everything else. It’s clear that if people don’t fit in your ideals then they aren’t worth that, I don’t fit anywhere so it’s fine for your other friends to do whatever. I don’t care anymore, Grey has made threat after threat to me and is using my feelings for Gray to hurt me. It’s all fine to you and I’m done with him.”

<Jo> “And I have told him to keep his shit away from you, because I am sick and tired of the both of you hurting one another. If I didn’t think that you encourage or egg him on, I’d have only been yelling at him, Anna, but I saw the burns and I’m not down with either of my friends hurting one another. It’s over - neither of you is touching one another and you’re leaving eachother the fuck alone. And take your BS whining about not fitting anywhere the fuck away Anna, I’ve been your friend through this all - I put up with your shit with Gray, I dealt with your problems better than anyone and I’ve put my neck on the line for you so many times. And it is /not/ ‘fine’ as you say, I’ve told him and he knows if he does put another toe out of line where you’re concerned its the bad end of my gun for him - but the same fucking goes for you Anna. It’s not 'fine’ for him to push you about and its not 'fine’ for you to do the same to him. I’m done with it. The next time either of you causes problems I will be ending them.”

<Anna> “Right..because poor little Grey is incapable of being an asshole without the evil angel pushing him into it. I’m sorry, my memory is a little fuzzy but what did I do to him for him to tell me about everything in the hospital that utlimatly split us up? How did I provoke that attack that was nicely wrapped in false concern? Oh I burned his wrist with iron once because he kept telling me I was too weak to do anything. My bad. Next time I’ll leave him in an alley unconcious so that a demon can come carve him up.”

<Jo> “I think your memory would be a little fuzzy of then - and you really think I wasn’t going to mention what happened between you and Gray to you? This is me we’re talking about. And I’m not saying he’s not without fault - if I was I wouldn’t have almost had my house set on fire getting into a round with him about it. But fact of the matter is - I know the /both/ of you Anna, and I know the amount of stuff you’ll overlook about yourself to be right, and I know how little and how hard it is for him to lie to me about things. I’m not saying he’s not, just that you are a goddamn btich sometimes Anna, same as he is, and I am sick of the /both/ of you pulling iron or draining one another. All this feuding is doing is taking my attention /away/ from getting rid of Crowley”

<Anna> “And I’m sick of you always taking his side or anyone elses no matter what it is or over looking what they do till I fight back, really fight back and then suddenly I’m the villian. I was never first with you when we were together and I’ll never be first with you as friends because it’s easier to blame my bitchy personality than to possibly piss off your current fuck buddy.”

<Jo> “You know what, right now hanging out with /your/ ex fuck buddy is a lot nicer than being around /either/ of you! Do you /know/ what that says about you both?! And I’m not taking sides at all, Anna, not one part of this is me taking a side. You’re both to blame for whatever is happening, how about you open your eyes and realise that might be the case as well? You both are fucking up, you’re both being pains in the asses and you’re both being children about whatever the fuck this is about, and I am done with it. I dont /care/ who starts this mess, Anna, but I will be finishing it and it is over right /NOW/. I have said the same fucking thing to him so dont you even fucking start with me, and as for making you out like the villian - at least he has the decency to admit some of the crap he does to build on this bullshit fight, are you going to do the same? And do not even try to pull that first-second crap either.”

<Anna> “I’m fixing his mistakes! I’m fixing mine! I’m doing this to protect you, to protect Gray! Grey is going to use Crowley to go after Gray if he can’t. He’s hurting Gray to spite me because he knows I can’t do anything to stop it! He told me to drive Gray away to protect him and I did it and now he hates me and I want to fucking hurt him for that, for everything he’s done. For throwing Ellen to Crowley because you won’t! He fucking rubs it in my face that I’m alone..that it’s my fault..and that hurts..I did what you said! I went to Gray and I begged him, I pleaded to tell him I’m sorry and he hates me and Grey is boasting about it and I fucking hate him!”

<Jo> *Jo sighs, rubbing her temples* “Okay firstly, I don’t need protection, Im a big girl, I can handle myself. Secondly, I really don’t care about Gray - I understand it hurts you and he’s important to you but on that point I really cannot care. And on the Ellen part, I’ve discussed this at length and I’ve run over everything in my head and as much as Im angry and hurt about it still I’m not letting myself dwell on it. But I can /understand/ why you hate him, Anna, I truly can. Its the same reason I wanted to plunge a knife into Gray every time I damn well saw him for months. But I /didn’t/ because /you/ asked me not to. I’m asking you the same thing now, Anna..”

<Anna> “And I’ll tell you teh same thing you told me you, that you will if he gives you reason to. You’re a self rightous hypocrit Jo and that says a lot coming from me. You express to me every chance you get how you could care less about Gray and how it’s my problem that I have feelings for him. It’s the same for me. I could care less about Grey and he has done things to me and to the ones I care about. According to your own rules I should have every right to go after him. You justify Grey going after Gray for roughing you up but I’m expected to sit back and do nothing if it’s reversed. No, I’m not going to just sit back because you see Gray as the bad guy and that it’s okay.”

<Jo> “I am not the hypocrit here, Anna, that has always been you. I dont give a crap if you don’t like Grey, you never told me to shut up about disliking Gray - oh wait yes you did, but ya know what? You can /talk/ about hating him as much as you want, but I do care if either of you is hurting one another. And you’re expected to because Grey doesn’t just go after him because of that - /we/, you and I, have /no/ say in what those two do to one another, Anna. That’s not our place to step in at all and you need to realise that. You say all that BS about nature and stuff, and fighting one another is /their/ nature, so yes, you’re expected to sit back and do fucking nothing. Its not a case of good guy/bad guy in that Anna. Deal with it.”

<Anna> “So you mean to tell me that if Gray killed Grey you would just go 'oh well that was just their nature?’ It isn’t a case of two kids fighting, I’m scared for Gray because Grey wants to see him as broken as he is. Grey doesn’t care about anyone, Ellen is 'the woman tht shot at him’ that’s how he described her when I asked how could he do that to the person you probably care the most about in the world. The fact she means anything you means nothing to him.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair* “I’ve heard from you, Gray can’t be trusted. I’ve heard from Gray that you can’t be trusted because you named me over Ellen when you drugged me. I’m hearing again that Gray can’t be trusted from you now but the only person who has willingly and without any remorse what so ever that has done anything like that is Grey. I know you felt bad when you did the drugging and that you had no choice. I understood and I defended you over and over again and never was mad. I’m sorry we can’t agree about this but Grey isn’t going to stop trying to destroy Gray and I want to protect him. It’s my fault Grey can hurt him..”

<Jo> “Anna… Anna I don’t need us to agree, I don’t need you to swear to love and adore him or anything like that. All I want is for the two of you not to be killing one another every time my head is turned because that? That hurts me a lot, and I know you’ve got another interest in Gray in why you want to hurt Grey and I know you want to protect him - but all I ask at all is the same thing you did of me - that you won’t hurt him without his attacking /you/ first. The same way I wouldn’t go after Gray for your behlaf, even with his hurting Grey and other people. I went against what I’ve brought myself up to do for your feelings, hell I’m still not trying to actually kill him because I know he still means something to you. I just ask the same respect in return, Anna..”

<Anna> “Fine Jo. You win. I’ll sit back and just wait for Crowley to come and do whatever he wants to me. I’ll listen to him talk about whatever he’s doing to anyone else, including Gray. I’ll listen to every spiteful and hurtful word that comes out of Grey’s mouth about how I’ve fucked up again, which truth hurts and I’ll tell myself that I’m doing this all so you won’t be hurt because Grey is fine. He’s probably happy and making you happy because he’s happy. And I’ll know that your happy Gray is getting what you think he deserves and I’ll take comfort knowing that for you everything is good as long as Grey never makes the first move at me. Happy?”

<Jo> “You think I haven’t had Gray running his mouth at me, Anna? I know it sucks and it hurts and its hard, but you’re making it sound like I haven’t been in the exact same position that you are right now for months. Pull the stick out of your ass if you think that’s the case, because I put up with that crap rather than killing or hurting him for your sake, so you could extend me that courtesy.” *Jo hisses back quietly, looking serious yet not angry any more* “I have no care about what the hell you do to Crowley, I don’t even know why you mentioned that at all because whatever relivance you think that has there is /none/. And Gray and Grey are responsible for their own actions with one another, I have come to acknowledge that and it’s about time you did the same. I’ve got no problem with you dishing it out /as good as you get/ with Grey, but I fucking swear that whoever makes the first physical strike will get the business end of my gun at them. Cause whatever emotional problems you might cause one another, I don’t really care because I’ve been dealing with the same from Gray and from /you/ and from others so that really bloody doesn’t count in my book anymore.”

<Anna> *Anna’s quiet for a bit and then she shrugs* “I know Gray gave you shit and I know you gave it back, after all you keep saying your a big girl. I’m scared Jo. I’m scared that Grey is going to be right and Crowley is going to win and I keep telling him there’s a difference in what we do. I’m willing to give myself up to protect others, he just wants to protect his own self but it doesn’t mean I'm not scared of the idea that Grey is going to be whispering in Crowley’s ear if he thinks it will save him. But you can’t protect me from that and it’s not a physical move against me so I can’t fight back. But whatever I’m not human, I’m an unfeeling angel that’s a hypocrit, self rightous and a bitch. I won’t make a move against Grey and you might want to watch out for Ruby, I’ll try and call her off. Whatever it takes to beat Crowley..”

<Jo> “Anna.. …” *Jo sighs, giving her a look and a quick shake of the head* “If things aren’t able to get better, I know I’ll end up revising my opinion on this, and if someone is acting physically against you on his behalf? Then I count it as his own and its free game if you can find him after I’d be finished giving a piece of my mind. I’m not saying you don’t count, Anna, you do count - but there is a difference between someone being chomped on and tortured and killed by a monster because they can and someone having that happen because they’ve encouraged a reaction of some sort. And you’re taking several different points I’ve made and turned them into one when thats not the case at all.”

<Anna> “So everytime you mouthed off to anyone and then they lashed out and you get all uppity and going to kill them is different? Or you torturing Gray and then when he lashed back out? The only reason any of this is a problem is because you’ve taken sides on this but you don’t want to say it. And it’s fine. I’m wrong, I’ve been wrong and will continue to be wrong.”

<Jo> “Did I ever call for someone to back me up? Or did my going after him ever effect anyone else? No. What /the both/ of you doing trying to hurt one another does just that. You’re putting me between the both of you and honestly? I don’t want to be. If you’re hell bent on getting revenge and hating him and killing him then I don’t want any part of your life any more, and the exact same is true for him. If he wants to wreck your like and destroy you, then I don’t want to be around him from then on. I am not going to be in the middle of this, and hell I’m really glad I didn’t take Crowley up on his offer if this is what I would have to be dealing with with no exit plan.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “It’s not like I wasn’t ever in the middle with you and Gray but that doesn’t count because Gray is the evil monster.”

<Jo> “By then? We weren’t gunning for eachother like this, Anna, get your contexts right.”

<Anna> “Go home Jo.”

<Jo> “Fuck it, fine.”

<Anna> “Goodluck. I’ll play nice.”

#3 - Anna was getting pissy because Jenna and I had been discussing one of the Jo/Grey chat scenes after Greyd been getting at Anna (I think it might have been Jo and Grey talking after Anna had ironed him, and Jo was fairly light on/very “That wasnt your fault” to Grey and Anna took offence).

<Jo> worst friend award goes to…. lol

<Anna> lol

<Anna> Jo’s been winning it

<Anna> hands down

<Jo> Oh yes. Most definitely.

<Jo> Jo is saying some of what Anna’s been saying is unfounded, but some is true and that she’ll try to be more… clear minded the next time she speaks to either shadow and make certain things arent being interpreted wrong. Cause from her perspective she’s told Grey not to talk about Anna to Gray but seemingly no one understood Jo-speak

<Anna> lolol

<Anna> “no Jo’s teh only one fluent in bitch around here”

<Jo> “….Jesus Anna… that was an /apology/ and acknowledgement that, hey, I’m fucking up a bit. Did you want to reign in the nasty for a few seconds to realise that?”

<Anna> “fine fine..”

<Jo> “/Fine/. …I’ll go straighten this crap out with /Gray/ again, given as much as you might think I have Grey on some sort of… collar and leash… nobody does and your bastard of a monter at least knows me well enough to know I don’t exactly /lie/..”

<Anna> “It won’t do anygood to talk to Gray. Crowley sort of put a rule down that if I get caught talking to him then..well he fucks me infront of Gray and who knows what else. So even if he did suddenly decide to not hate me it doesn’t do any good.”

<Jo> “It’ll stop you feeling like shit and curb whatever damage Grey might have done for whatever future the two of you might have had… It’s not going to /hurt/ any to talk to him. And it’s not you talking, either.”

<Anna> “It won’t do any good.”

<Jo> “Yeah well, you can’t really stop me trying to fix it for you, Anna. You made an effort to make things better for me by saving my Mom - I’m going to try and salvage your relationship for if you can ever get it back. Sure its hardly equal but..”

<Anna> “He’s right and Grey’s right. I’m not good for him and I’m a weakness. At leastt while Crowley’s around.”

<Jo> “He didn’t seem particularly strong when I saw him… Or at least not himself. Likely to get himself killed if he’s that damn reckless in future..”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “I want him back so bad but I want him to come back*

<Jo> "I’ll see what I can do, Anna. I swear..”

<Anna> “thanks Jo.”

<Jo> “Don’t mention it. …Seriously, don’t.”

<Anna> *Anna can’t help but laugh*

<Jo> *Jo smiles back slightly* “I think most people would have Christo’d me by now, Anna…”

<Anna> “I don’t think any demon would be dumb enough to try and take over you.”

<Jo> “They’d just get stuck in the back of my head with some of my stupidest ideas if they did.”

<Anna> *Chuckling she nods* “Listening to you going on and on about hunting*

<Jo> "I don’t go on /that/ much about it…”*Jo flushes a bit wrinkling her nose*

<Anna> “Uh huh”

<Anna> “you know you talk about hunting in your sleep?”

<Jo> “I.. do not…?” *She pulls a face, looking completely uncertain* “Do I?”

<Anna> “Waking up to hear you talking about rawheads..isn’t exactly romantic.” *Anna grins at Jo*

<Jo> *Jo flushes further, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly* “I’m sure it’s plenty romantic. …If youre into that kind of thing.”

<Anna> “Sure sure, everyone wants to hear the murmerings of sweet nothings that end in ‘pass the salt’”

<Jo> “Salt doesnt kill rawheads… And I’m not that bad, am I? Didn’t wake you up with a foreign language sounding like gibberish before. Unlike someone.”

<Anna> “I’ll take gibberish anyday over being hit out of no where while you sit up and scream for a shotgun before falling back. There’s a reason I said you aren’t allowed to take guns to bed anymore Jo.” *Anna’s grinning now*

<Jo> “Not just because it’d freak you out to find me using you as a resting place for most of my bits then?” *Jo smiles reluctantly*

<Anna> *Anna chuckles*

<Jo> “Yeah well, at least I kept my sex dreams quiet."

<Anna> "Right…I’ve never woke up with your hands squeezing down beteen my legs looking for soemthing that wasn’t there.”

<Jo> *Jo cringes at Anna’s comment before laughing* “…. It’s not my fault I move in my sleep while you’re just… a log.”

<Anna> “Well, at least when I moan Dean’s name in my sleep it’s because I’ve actually been with him.”

<Jo> *Jo’s mouth drops open, mouthing wordlessly in response*

<Anna> “And I mean..really..Sam too?” *Anna’s struggling to keep a straight face*

<Jo> *It takes a second before she practically squeaks in annoyance, reaching out to hit Anna’s shoulder* :“Oh my- you almot had me god damn.. One too far, Anna.”

<Anna> “Well it’s not my fault you want to know which brotehr is bigger” *Anna laughs at Jo punching her*

<Jo> *Jo shakes her head, running a hand through her hair* “I already have enough cases of 'compare the brothers’. I don’t think I’m going to add the Winchesters, though you could check out Sam and let me know..” *She teases back*

<Anna> *Anna sighs leaning back* “this sucks..everything*

<Jo> *Noticing the change, Jo nods, crossing her arms* "I’d be sure that it does. …What particularly today?”

<Anna> “just everything.”

<Jo> *Jo nods again, feeling slightly bad for not feeling as worn out or bad as Anna seems to* “That’s what it tends to do”

<Anna> *Anna turns to go, much more and she’s going to start whining about how much she misses Gray and she just doesn’t feel like giving Jo that satisfaction* “See ya around.”

<Jo> “I’ll let you know how it goes, Anna. Check in with you in a bit, okay?” *Jo frowns slightly, watching her go*

#4 - How Jo Told Anna About Gray’s Binding (dont let Gray read the startish bits) - Jo being rude but also protecting Gray’s wishes

<Jo> *Jo’d waited a few hours at home, showering to wash what blood she’d gotten on her off, before heading across town to Anna’s - debating the whole time what she should and shouldn’t say. Distractedly, she knocks on the front door a quick beat until she sees the light under the door and just pushes the door open heading in* “So, I’ve got some good news and some… news. Which you want first, Anna?”

<Anna> *Anna is cleaning up the apartment when she hears the knock on the door and before she can even take two steps she see’s Jo walk in and the other woman’s expression tells her that this isn’t a social call. She raises a brow at how Jo just starts the conversation and she leans against the counter she was cleaning.* “News.”

<Jo> *She reaches up to rub at the back of her neck, kicking the door shut gently behind her and diverting her eyes from Anna as she brushes past to put the bed between them* “Well, I’ve seen Gray..”

<Anna> *Anna nods, not liking how Jo is hesitating.* “And?”

<Jo> “He’s.. …not exactly himself.” *Jo finally looks over at Anna, shifting a few steps further back, not sure what her reaction would be* “But I’m doing what you asked.”

<Anna> *Anna looks at Jo half expecting to hear that she found him dead and the good news being she wasn’t the one that killed him. Hearing Gray isn’t himself only increases her worry.* “What do you mean he isn’t himself? Crowley?”

<Jo> “Yeah, Crowley was involved. Dropped him off on me as a little task.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder as she speaks, watching Anna carefully* “He’s still him, but.. not really the same as always.”

<Anna> *Anna runs a hand over her face and through her hair as she gives Jo a look of frustration when the blond woman keeps talking in circles.* “Jo, what happened?”

<Jo> “He doesn’t want you to know.” *She spits it out quickly, deciding not to elaborate on exactly what seems to have happened just yet* “The good news is it doesn’t seem like Crowley literally bent him over at least.”

<Anna> *Anna takes a breath before giving Jo a look, glaring somewhat at her.* “Good..you..Jo. What. Happened? and Where. Is. Gray?”

<Jo> “I, uh.. He doesn’t want you to know that either. I tried to bring him here and he freaked out on me.” *Jo shifts awkwardly under Anna’s glare, rubbing at her neck again before adding very quickly* “He also seems to have had his powers surpressed and can’t do anything.”

<Anna> “So Gray is locked in his body?” *Anna closes her eyes praying for patience in dealing with Jo.* “If he doesn’t want me to know then why are you telling me? You might as well tell me where he.” *Crossing her arms she stares at Jo expecting an answer.*

<Jo> “Um, more than that.. He tried to set things alit and stuff, but it didn’t work, and now I think about it he seems to have tried disappearing or feeding and none of that worked too.” *Jo gives Anna a significant look, raising an eyebrow before shrugging back at her* “Because, if I tell you where he is then I’m going to go ahead and say he’s not going to let me keep taking care of him. Like you asked, and seemingly Crowley wants me to. But I’m telling you about it because you deserve to know.”

<Anna> “Jo…” *Anna frowns as Jo keeps telling her about what Crowley did and she’s worried about Gray knowing him and how badly he acted before when hurt but now he can’t feed?* “Tell me where he is, you can’t expect to tell me this and just sit back!” *She’s biting her lip at the idea of Jo taking care of Gray, it’s her place, she’s always done it before.*

<Jo> *When Anna doesn’t seem likely to throw something at her, Jo shifts moving closer, twisting a hand in her hair as she looks about awkwardly almost* “He doesn’t want you to see him like this, Anna. You know him, he’s too goddamn proud to let you see him like he is right now.”

<Anna> *Anna gives Jo a look of total annoyance rolling her eyes as she goes over and grabs her bag, putting clothes and other supplies inside of it.* “Do you know how many times he’s told me to go away because his pride has been hurt? I never listened before. So you can tell me or I can start looking around town for him myself.”

<Jo> “Anna, stop. Okay? I’ll tell you as soon as the stitches can come out, okay? And this isn’t..” *Jo sighs, moving over to grab Anna’s bag and holding it away* “There is something seriously wrong, and I’m fairly certain that he will run and never come back if you show up and find him now.”

<Anna> “Damn it Jo! Give it back!” *Anna lunges for the pack glaring at Jo as she says something about stitches.* “You think there’s something wrong? Of course there is something wrong! If Gray had picked the other choice then he wouldn’t be in this mess and it’s not your place to take care of him, you don’t even like him. How do I know you won’t just kill him??”

<Jo> “Ya know he said that too. ‘Should have let him fuck me’.” *Jo’s voice drops down in the impersonation, jerking the pack to the other side away from Anna* “Am I the only one who thinks theres something wrong with that thought? And you asked me to Anna, you asked me to take care of him - so I damn well will even if I don’t want to. I had the option to kill him, he was right there and weak and I /didn’t/ because you asked me not to!”

<Anna> “He..No! That isn’t what I’m talking about! How could you think that is..” *Anna is clenching her fists tempting to take a swing at Jo, she’s never fucking listened to anyone why is she starting now!* “He ..just never mind Jo! Tell me where he is damn it!”

<Jo> *Jo turns her head but not quick enough, feeling the ache through her chin as she tosses the pack over the far side of the room* “Well that’s what he’s talkin’ about, Anna. He is regretting /that/ choice, not the one protecting you. So, I figure I owe him one right about now - so I’ll keep my agreement with him about you.”

<Anna> *Anna turns walking towards the door, fuck Jo and fuck Gray for not wanting to see her. She’s got nothing but time until Crowley comes back to have fun with her so she can easily start walking the city and looking for where Jo might be keeping Gray.*

<Jo> *Looking between Anna and the pack, Jo moves over to grab it before catching up to Anna* “How 'bout I take this over for him, along with anything else /other/ than you you want to pass along, and I’ll see how he feels 'boutt seeing you now he’s had some time to adjust?”

<Anna> *Anna stops still visibly pissed at Jo and she doesn’t say anything at first but then she just nods.* “If I don’t hear anything by tomorrow then you can tell him that when I do find him, he’s going to be in so much trouble.” *Opening the door she waits for Jo to leave.*

<Jo> *Jo barely restrains herself from muttering that she’s guessing he isn’t going to be the only one, shrugging the pack onto her shoulder with a nod* “I’ll get him to send you a message then.” *Stepping out into the hall, she raises an eyebrow checking there was nothing else*

<Anna> “Also tell him I’m pissed at not wanting to see me. He’s an ass.” *Anna shuts the door on Jo turning around and walking back to the bed before flopping down and resisting the urge to scream and throw things.* “Stupid stubborn jackass!”

#yay chatlogs

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labr4t · 4 years

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long fucking mental health rant just dont recommend reading unless you really want to read like a short stories worth of suffering

i feel so guilty sometimes for not doing shit w my life because i was the first in my family to graduate hs in awhile and they all expected so much of me but here i am completely disconnected from all ambition i ever had younger me had so much hope and strength i no longer have she went through so much and i've never processed it all for fear of breaking i have a fucking breakdown if its too bright or i'm tired i dont even fucking remember most of my childhood or adolescence i dont fucking remember anything and i'm scared of remembering i just fucking crumbled under the weight of years of expectations and dreams that i'm more childish than i was when i was an actual child. Its so pathetic if you think about it i was so capable and strong and its all fucking gone. I remember some pretty bad memories and the good memories i have all have this weird looming sense of dread attached to them i feel like there’s parts of me that i've totally cut off and destroyed just to cope with myself and how disappointed in myself its so fucking hard kind or loving without feeling like i'm being manipulative to make people like me. I try to put out that i dont care that i'm fucking abhorrent to people and i'm a fuckign asshole but i just wish i was born fucking normal i wish i could process things without being on the verge of being suicidal whenever i remember something harrowing i have fucking FAKE MEMORIES like what the fuck is wrong with me i have lied so much about myself because i DONT KNOW WHO I AM while a lot of horrible shit has happened to me and i never had much friends i have come up with shit to try and rationalize why i'm so broken and cruel while also simultaneously being fragile and needy and i just want validation after validation even if that means practically begging for people to talk to me or care about me because i have this fucking bitch in my head that tells me everything i've worked for in my life doesnt mean anything unless people think it does. There’s basically more than one of me at this point that i use to get the best reception. The only people that i dont lie to are the people who know me too well. The people who see me and hear me that iCANT lie to because it’d be obvious i'm being someone i'm not . and do any of those people like me very much? Probably not. At the most they pity me. The only things i know about myself are what people tell me literally most of my memories are just what i've been told. I don't feel like I was there for any of that. I've lost so many people that were close to me, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WERE WILLING TO GET CLOSE TO ME, mind you, because i'm sure they were tired of me, and my bs. And i'll admit it , i manipulated a couple of them a bit here and there and i've always took more than i gave and i feel so fuckign bad about it but i cant love people normally i'm all fucked up inside now and i'll never get those friendships back because i'm a liar and a freak and i've been so evil over the past few years and honestly i understand that a lot of ppl find me irredeemable because its fuckign true i’d always find myself getting jealous of the friends and love they had from others. How much better they were than me. Skinnier, nicer, more skilled, and more socially competent. I wanted to steal that from them. I wanted their full attention and care no matter what i had to say or do to myself. Sometimes love isnt enough for me and i want more and more and more until i've taken all i can get away with and they abandon me because i'm so much of a pain to be around because i would belittle them for their interests because i didn't want to them to have any i didn't or in anyway be able to get away from me. Of course thats fucked up that s wrong but i just always feel so empty. I don't feel like there’s anything inside of me. No personality, nothing. Not a lot of memories, just the hunger and need to feed off others for attention and love. I literally cannot handle being alone in any capacity and yet i fucking hate being around others if that makes it so i feel alone around others. I want whoever i'm around to be acknowledging me and me only or else i feel slighted for no reason. I'm just empty and broken and i cant fix myself and because i've always felt this way and its just eaten everything up that i had inside of me at this point. I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont think its just depression or anxiety the doctors pin on me. I've hurt people. I've hurt myself and thats not good its so awful awful awful and i dont know what to do with myself anymore and i'm scared and worried about the future because who knows how fucking sick i'll become or how bad itll be and i just want to know but i know i'll never get a helpful answer where i am rn so i guess i'll suffer a bit or even forever i know its improbable but i'm sorry if i've ever hurt you or scared you or manipulated you and you dont have to accept it but i just can’t rationalize in the moment and then its too late after i've recognized what i'm doing and its wrong i know but i cant help myself … i dont know where i'll be in the future but hopefully i get help because i can barely handle myself anymore

#plz dont reblog thx #vent #longvent #im having an identity crisis

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bibblbee · 7 years

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92 truths tag

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

i was tagged by @cosmicchero

LAST…

1. drink: tea (wow... shocking(

2. phone call: my sister

3. text message: my mamma

4. song you listened to: work from home - fifth harmony

5. time you cried: last night bc im a silly hoe

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. dated someone twice: no

7. been cheated on: no

8. kissed someone and regretted it: kiss?? who is that?? i dont know her is she nice

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12. yellow

13. dark green

14. navy/dark blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. made new friends: yes i have

16. fallen out of love: thank god yes

17. laughed until you cried: lmao everytime i really laugh i cry tbh my tearducts weak af

18. found out someone was talking about you: lmao yep claps

19. met someone who changed you: yes

20. found out who your true friends are: thank GOD yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what is this kiss thing u keep bringing up

GENERAL…

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

23. do you have any pets: two dogs, Bonnie and Clyde, and Lulu my cat

24. do you want to change your name: yes bc moon said a nicer version of it and now i want that bc mines so plain,, but the process is too hard lmao

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i had a shitty day and cried when i got home lmao

26. what time did you wake up: 6:23am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: being a sad ol emo

28. name something you cannot wait for: drinking tea/going to the library tomorrow

29. when was the last time you saw your mother: an hour ago shes at the supermarket

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: where i live

31. what are you listening to right now: pillowtalk - zayn

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: lmao yes

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my dumb self

34. most visited website: tumblr

35. elementary: lmao why u gotta know

36. high school: a pile of shit full of fake hoes and drugs

37. college: dude... relax

38. hair colour: either dark blonde or light brown??? kinda hard to tell but its reddish in sunlight

39. long or short hair: issa bob

40. do you have a crush on someone: yes

41. what do you like about yourself: my open mind??

42. piercings: both lobes are done but i want more by the end of this year

43. blood type: O+ i think

44. nickname: fake blink, choy

45. relationship status: ?!?refshjjng?!?!???!

46. zodiac sign: gemini

47. pronouns: she/her

48. fav tv show: stranger things & probably supernatural but i only just started it

49. tattoos: dont have any

50. right or left handed: right handed

FIRST…

51. surgery: jaw/teeth

52. piercing: lobes

53. best friend: whats that.....,,

55. vacation: london, japan or amsterdam

56. pair of trainers: some bs cheap ones from kmart

RIGHT NOW…

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: tea

59. i’m about to: recharge my phone @ last

60. listening to: this will destroy you - threads

61. waiting for: my noodles to come home from the supermarket

62. want: life to be fair & cruelty and discrimination to stop

63. get married: me? marriage? snorts

64. career: right now im into the idea of being a counsellor OR someone in film production

WHICH IS BETTER…

65. hugs or kisses: ????? idk im choosy with both

66. lips or eyes: lips ngl

67. shorter or taller: shorter but only bc im taller than EVERYONE that nobody is taller than me

68. older or younger: idc

69. romantic or spontaneous: ????? who knows

70. nice arms or nice stomach: ...ok?

71. sensitive or loud: i havent experimented enough

72. hook up or relationship: can i choose neither im stressed

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. kissed a stranger? no

75. drank hard liquor? no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses? no

77. turned someone down: yeah but they were kidding so i embarrassed myself

78. sex on first date? eh idk

79. broken someone’s heart? ??? i dont think so?

80. had your own heart broken? too many times

81. been arrested? no

82. cried when someone died? yes

83. fallen for a friend: big sigh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. yourself? no lbr

85. miracles? maybe?

86. love at first sight? sure?

87. santa claus? i wish LMAO

88. kiss on the first date? sure if we both choose to

89. angels? uh sure

OTHER…

90. current best friend’s name: what is a best friend

91. eye colour: green

92. favourite movie: perks of being a wallflower

i tag @o57o

#92 truths tag #tagged

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

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Don't know what to do with myself. via /r/selfimprovement

Don't know what to do with myself.

Hi. I'm 21 and still in community college, but I did get my provisional admission to this university I wanted to transfer to. I work as a runner at Din Tai Fung and I'm supposed to make bank, but I don't really know yet because I'm a new employee. Headtitle question at the bottom

I think I've lived an okay-ish life, kind of. story time, skip to the end if you dont wanna read it I come from a Korean family, can't say I remember much of my childhood except mostly being beaten and yelled at. There were good times too, but they usually ended prettily shittily. Moved around a bunch, went to a lot of schools. I've dealt with a lot of abusive stuff from both parents, but I'm not going to talk about my mom because things have gotten better and she's still here for me(?). For some extreme stuff- my dad broke my brothers toes in elementary school. In my senior year, he threatened me at knifepoint and forced it into my hands and told me to stab my brother or he would stab me. Beatings from him were pretty bad, and it's not just belts and sticks bad. I played co-ed baseball in 5th grade, so bam, there was that too. He liked to throw chairs and literally flip tables when he was angry (hes a private construction worker, so he's pretty strong). Broke a lot of his phones throwing them at us, the wall, the floor, whatever. Ive had a lot of problems with my social affairs in highschool- anxiety, being cold, being short tempered, aggressive, violent, sharp tongued. I started warming up in senior year because of this girl I dated, which was a pretty big deal because gays are not allowed in this household. And well, im bi but its the same thing to them. Can't say that went too well, because my brother found out and blackmailed me in the situation we were living in. But who cares, because siblings hate each other right? Anyways, broke up with her, broke her heart, treated her poorly and whatever two years later we made up and was able to be friends again. Back to dad- he was usually never around for things like elementary grad, middle school grad, and highschool- my mom made him come, but he sure didn't seem happy about it. In highschool, he only laid down on his phone playi ng his shitty phone games. Doesnt talk to me, doesnt talk to my brother, doesnt talk to my mom. His routine: wake up, go to work, come home, phone games, eat, phone games, sleep. If you try to talk to him, he ignores you. If you press it, he'll give you some boring answer like "go away already".

Anywho, that abusive fuck was caught cheating. Had an affair with a client's sister. Sold the house we lived in, mom moved to Newark, him to San Leandro. Mom didnt want to deal with me, so I got the boot and lived wjth acquaintances in Hayward. Couldnt afford it, so mom told me to move to San Leandro with him. I moved in with my best friend helping me and we saw the evidence. Bambam, hello lady clothing and shit. I went apeshit nuts and he tried to convince me, then threatened that I would be in big trouble if i said anything. (Parents were separated but not divorced). Alright, ill keep my big mouth shut.

I worked for his "girlfriend" at her cafe in Berkeley. Why? Well, it was easy money and i needed it to keep up with my shitty coping habits- partying and party favors, mostly e. You dont have to deal with stress if youre always out partying.

Anywho, fast forward, skip a lot of details. Mom gets a phone call one day from mutual acquaintance saying dad is sick and asks her to bring him some food. Alright. So she does because she still cares, and finds out the truth. Calls me and demands me to come right now and unlock the door- note that this is a 40 minute drive. By the time i get there, theres hella police and a window is broken and theres hella shit going on. Things settled down but being my immature ass i scream at my parents for both being immature, and they shouldve just cut things clean. I yell at my dad for being a fuckhead and cheating, you didnt raise a liar but you are one. I yell at my mom for being irresponsible and breaking things. Police grabs my shoulder but i swipe it off and bam. Im on the floor, face into concrete, chipped teeth and i cant even see where my dog is. Tbh i was more worried that he ran off because he was still a puppy and i was holding him during this whole ordeal. My glasses got knocked off my face when those two officers fucking bodyslammed me into the ground. I'm 5ft4, i weighed like 130 at this time but im just a legit smol asian girl.

What happened next? Well yknow, i got arrested and sent to jail for assaulting a police officer, nbd. Sat there for a few hours, listening to some psycho making weird noises. Finally get some call saying that my mom was waiting for me, and she bailed me out. She was crying a lot and told me that my dad didnt even bat an eye as they took me away, that he smiled and tried to fix his goddamn broken window. I believe it too, because I saw that shitty smirk on his face when i got to the scene. My mom has a bit of an uncontrollable temper so she looks psycho when the other person was the wack one. This was in January 2017.

Skip forward to the next police thing. June 2017. My mom demands that i pack all my shit and move back, and she wants to go with me. I plead no, but what am i gonna do against her? Alright, we drive and she starts saying stuff about lying and calls the bitch a slut and homewrecker and stuff, dad gets up to stand inbetween and stuff. Tells her to move than basically shoves her across the living room towards the door. **insert hysteria and bam again, screaming and each other, his hands on her, me trying to squeeze my body in between them and get his hands off of her. Doesnt really work cos he turns on me, hits me away and goes back to beat her. My screaming doesnt really help either, but i try what I can to claw his arms off of her. Nooooo, bad idea, but better me than her. He grabs me and my head is locked into his elbow so I bite down, arm. Baaaad idea again, but its in self defense imo. Im just trying to help my mom. He p much beats me up into a pulp her, grabs my shirt all the way up and yikes thats embarassing. The struggle goes on and eventually its calm again because slutface is like "honey staph"- note: only words and no actions to get close, buuuut, it works. Me and mom move to my room and start removing all my weebshit from the walls. Mom is muttering and saying a bunch of bs for him to hear and he storms into the room because hes fucking triggered and start the violence again. Oh but this is where i do the fun thing- i lunge myself at him so im like on top of him but holy shit, he legit pulls me off of him and throws me against the wall cabinets, and two hand chokes me, with his knees on my chest. Mom starts screaming at him, claws his face and soon the police are here and shit. Bitch called the police, and this is where it gets more fucked up. I legally live here, its on my license. I came back to move out, so its okay for me to be here, because i came to pack my stuff and take whats mine. So why exactly did the police not believe me? Why did my mom get arrested for putting dumb scratches on his face when he beat us, with pictures - that day- to prove that he inflicted more wounds on us. We were just defending ourselves. He put his hands on us first. Anyways, that starts my worries cos im like. Im 20, but idk what to do. How do i find money to bail my mom out? How do i even do that in the first place? But i managed.

Anywho skip forward, jackass is no longer in my life, tho i have to deal with him through my brother from time to time. Parents officially divorced Feb 2018. I've lived with my mom, she bought a cafeteria for a little bit so I worked there. Things were really hard because my mom had a lot of pent up anger that she would take out on me. My brother moved out because he went to university so he didnt really have to deal with much. Im also the older child, so bam. Anyways, we fought a lot. A LOT LOT. Like apeshit crazylot. I took a lot of beatings. It was like the weekend before Christmas of 2017 where a took a huge beating and ran away from my problems by going to my now-ex's house. He offered me to move in with him and his family, so I did. I had the choice of going back to my moms lifestyle and attempt to make up, or trying to live a different life. I lived with him from like Christmas to March 2018. We started having a lot of problems because he regret inviting me, he wasnt ready to give up his personal space and I was done babysitting someone who was older than me. Doing his laundry, doing his dishes, cleaning his room. I was done with being bored, never going out, being ignored while he did the same thing my dad did. Sit on his phone and not speak a word. Yeah, there were good times too, but they seem so fleeting when it seeps in with your own personal trauma of being ignored. Btw- when i moved to his place, my brother moved back home to fill the gap, but my brother is better with dealing with my mom and she doesnt blow up at him.

After I moved back, it was better. Yeah, shit went down sometimes but i guess overall it was better? My mom cried a lot. I would hear her talk on the phone with her family members in Korea and cry about how she was tired of everything and didn't want to do it anymore. I know exactly how that feels. Well, in the later months of 2018, we got along better and havent really had those blowups. I tried my best to stay home more instead of going out at night because she hated it. I tried to be nicer to her and more compromising. She's in Korea rn and things suck. During the whole parents thing, it sucks to feel like your parents are passing you to each other likea toy they dont want. It sucks to not really feel familial love growing up, where mom is just doing things because shes supposed to and dad just flat out pretends you dont exist. It sucks that it takes two years of partying, drugs and cons to find out

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New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10027

"New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10027

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10027

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I'm I'm high school and I have a job making minimum wage. Where is the absolute cheapest place where I can get car insurance? VERY CHEAP PLEASE

Can i get classic car insurance?

I have a 65 mustang so i know for a fact it will qualify, but im 17 (18 in a couple of months) and i dont know for sure if they cover people my age. I know that it comes with restrictions but all i will be driving it for is to school and back so that doesn't concern me. also it would be helpful if anyone can reccomend a decent insurer.""

Can I get insured for a Volkswagen Golf GTI? (i'm 18)?

Hi! I wanted to buy the new golf gti, and I was wondering how much insurance would cost. What do you think will be cheaper, insuring the golf, or importing a car from another country (i won't have to buy it- i'll just take one of my parents' cars. Please don't say you won't be able to afford it etc. Trust me, I can afford it. Full stop.""

Pay out of pocket for my car or go through my insurance company?

I live on a hill. Last week, in a quirky weather situation, the street I live on got super-slick just long enough for my 2000 Toyota Camry to go into a 300' free-slide down the hill and crash into a curb and a tree. It was a one-car accident, no one was injured. The repairman can only give me a rough estimate at this time but he thinks it'd cost about $1500 to repair using old body parts, although he says it could cost more if he finds more damage as he goes along--in that case he thinks it might cost up to $2,000 to patch it up out of pocket. I asked him about the pros and cons of paying out of pocket vs. going through insurance in my particular case. He said that if I chose to go through insurance--which would mean getting a USAA adjuster out and all--that he was thinking it would probably cost $2500 to repair, maybe more if it turned out there was more damage that he could see at this time. But he pointed out that I'd have to pay the deductible (which I think is $500 for my car, not sure) and that my insurance rates would go up. But then you'd end up with a new-looking car. [as opposed to a patched-up looking car]. My husband absolutely wants to pay out of pocket--he does not want to involve our auto insurance company, saying, The insurance company is only for the big accidents. But I'd like to keep this car for several more years if I can because there's no car out there that I like better, so I'm wondering if maybe it might be worth going through the insurance company. Here's a little more information: My 2000 Toyota Camry has 115,000 miles on it and has been very reliable over the years. The motor wasn't damaged and, in fact the car is already driving well again except that one headlight and blinker are broken. There is, of course, body damage to the front and hood, plus a 6 crack over the left back tire (not very deep), which occurred when I backed out of the tree, slid again, and hit the curb on the opposite side of the street. Re: Our insurance situation? We (me and my 3 driving age children) had a string of costly minivan accidents in the 1990s: 1. one in 1997 when my daughter totaled my van, and got sued for injuries by 2 people in the other car (the lawsuit was settled many years ago but it dragged out for years). 2. one by me, a one-car accident, no injuries, our insurance company paid for the damage minus the deductible 3. 2 accidents caused by other drivers, so my insurance company didn't have to pay any damages--I don't know if USAA takes accidents caused by other people into consideration or not. 4. My son totaled my van in 2000 [which is why my current car is a year 2000]. So we have not called upon our insurance company for any expenses for almost 11 years now. Regarding traffic tickets? I got one 3-4 years ago for speeding--35 or 40 mph in a 25 mph zone-. If my points from this ticket have expired by now (not sure), then there are no other points on our record. Our children are now out of the nest and only one of them borrows our car when she comes to visit once every month or two. I put less than 10,000 miles/year on my car for work and vacations. We live in PA. So my question is this: Given the age of the car, amount of damage, etc., is it worth going through our insurance company to get the car fixed rather than pay OOP--or would going through insurance raise our insurance premiums so much that it wouldn't be worth it?""

Health insurance for 18 year old?

I turned 18 at the beginning of this month. I want to get health insurance but all the places I've looked at so far said you have to be 19 and older. Nobody in my family has health insurance. I live in MD and I can't get state sponsored health insurance(even though I'm willing to pay for it) because I don't have a baby or I'm 19. I need health insurance for college but the one my college offers is too expensive for me. Help me

What is the cheapest car insurance company to go with at 16. could someone give me a estimate?

my car is a 2000 Pontiac grand prix. all i need is state minimum.i live in ohio

""After a year of insurance, i heard it gets a little cheaper the next year. is this true?

i also heard if you get car insurance it will be cheaper after you had motorcycle insurance.

How much jail time for no insurance in georgia?

My friend had an unpaid ticket that turned into a warrant. If he were to turn hisself in how long would he serve.

I have AAA auto insurance and had minor 1st at fault accident. Will my rates go up?

I rear ended someone this weekend. Just a minor fender bender. My first ever accident!! UGH! Both cars with minor damage. There are a few scratches on their car. I have liability insurance through AAA, I've had my US license for a year and a half and am f/29yrs old. Have had a UK license for 10 yrs. What are the chances my rates will go up? I am insured on my husbands insurance and we have 2 cars so will insurance go up for both? I just want to hear people who might've been in the same kind of circumstances and if their rates went up and by how much! Thanks!""

How much will health insurance cost us?

My boyfriend and I are considering moving to the United States, the state of Florida. We have pre-existing conditions, neurological and we are 36 years old. We would like to know how much money we will have to paid monthly for a health insurance that covers costs such as medical visits, exams, prescriptions and dental care.""

How much life insurance should we get?

My husband and I both work; our income split is about 60/40, he being the higher paid. We will both turn 50 within the next year. No children living at home. No substantial debt: Car loan: $185 monthly Student loan: $102 monthly Mortgage: $2,000 monthly No other debt. We never carry a credit card balance. We have about 3 months worth of savings in the bank. Should I base our life insurance on how much we make, how much we have in debt or both? We are living paycheck to paycheck, and if either one of us were to die suddenly, the other would only have a few months to sell the house before we could no longer make the payments. In this market, I don't think that's realistic. I was thinking that we would need enough to pay for a funeral, pay off the smaller two loans, and still have enough to live on for at least a year if the house doesn't sell. Does that sound right? Or should we not worry about paying off the loans...just calculate enough to replace the other's income for XX many months? If so, how many months should we plan for? Finally, at what rate is life insurance taxed? Is it added to your income and then taxed at the rate for your total income for the year? or is there a flat rate tax? (I think I know the answer to this one, but I want to make sure).""

The Best Health Insurance ..?

Hi there folks, I am new in this health insurance business and we are shopping for one. We live in Texas. Im looking for a plan for me and my wife. What's the best plan you guys have that affordable plan with the best coverage for 2 people.What do you have and what would you recommend? And whats the best health insurance plan that is affordable and also covers pregnancy? Please do let us know , I would really appreciate your responses. Camry Lover""

Best Insurance cover for 18 years?

Kindly tell me a way so that I can ensure a fix monthly income of 20,000 Rs. What is the easiest way to achieve this ? MF ? LIC ? What should be my investment every month and for how many months ? Thanks..""

Who is the cheapest car insurance provider in Nichigan?

Mexican car insurance?

If I drive into Mexico, do I need to get insurance for my car from a Mexican insurance company or is the American insurance valid there as well?""

I have cancelled my old insurance with a company and i need a renewal notice to get cheap insurance.?

i have called the old company is asking me why i need the renewal notice from them. they told me they have put it in the post but i did not receive anything. the only mail i received, was the sorry to see u go mail the next day after i cancelled the policy. With the notice i can show i have a 6yrs no claims discount. How do i get the old insures to send me the notice with the no claims or do i just tell my new insurers to contact the old ones. Please this is urgent. Serious answers only""

South Bloomingville Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 43152

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Is there a significant difference in auto insurance rates when males turn 25 years old?

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Is insurance cheaper when you live in a built up area or in the countryside?

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What is the best choice for life insurance age 34 term, universal, whole, accidental?""

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Before I got word back from my insurance company on a settlement for a cehicle accident, I already got two estimates from two body shops. The estimates were at $5,000 .... but now ...show more""

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If I'm on my parents Insurance and I go to a doctors appt without them knowing will it show up on there insurence statement?

""Can I fight an auto insurance company, to prevent my car from being declared a total loss, in California?""

Its an older car but only has a small dent. I understand that its the value of the car vs their estimate of repairs that they are basing this on, but they didn't include options like A/C, cruise control, power door locks and power mirrors and others when figuring its worth. They instead based it on an average car in my area. When doing the math the difference between fixing the dent and totaling the car came out to $18.00. Clearly the addition of the options would have covered that spread in my favor. I want to fight this because I don't want to have a salvage title. I was not at fault and the other parties insurance has already sent me a check I have not cashed nor have I signed anything. I want to know what I can do. And if I am stuck with the total loss, do I have the right to recover for re-title and re-registration charges and smog fees that are going to add up to a few hundred out of my pocket since I am keeping the car. Thanks for taking the time to read my question.""

""Progressive Insurance vs Safe Auto, who's better?

i want to get auto insurance. i got quotes online and they both gave me the same quote basically ($71 per month-6months)...has anyone had experience w/one of these insurance places or have 1 of them currently?

Does State Farm charge higher auto rates for older drivers?

Does a low deductible plus an older driver result in higher charges for auto insurance coverage for liability and collision rates? The driver also has a clean driving record.Thank you for your response.This is for North Carolina.

I need dental insurance...?

Does anyone know of any good places I can get dental insurance through? Thanks

Were can i get cheap car insurance in the central florida area?

Car insurance?

is there such a thing as shared car insurace, kinda like family health insurance?( like 1 insurance bill 4 2 cars)""

""I am buying a used innova car, will the car insurance be in my name?

The car is having a loan of Rs 350000/- & i am planing to take over the loan. But if any thing happens to the car in the loan period will the insurance company pay to me or the owner who has made the insurance.

Pregnancy Insurance California?

Ok I know my son is responsible and wants to me about this matter but would like some help if someone knows since most places are closed on the weekends that would help with this. My son (21) and fiance just found out she is pregnant, my son works and has great insurance for himself. and just purchased his first home. Income about 30,000. Girlfriend just got laid off from a part time job and no insurance. Just moved in with him recently. If not married will his income disqualify her from Medi cal or will he be charged for the service. They were planning on getting married before this and adding her on to his insurance 100.00 a month. for family benefits. but now that she is already pregnant some have told us the insurance may not pay because of preexisting. and if they marry most likely will disqualify from getting medi cal. Also have seem something about AIM. If anyone has used that or have knowledge of that insurance. I know this is long someone also mentioned that my sons first time buyers credit (loan) may also be taken from him if she gets medical. Any help will be appreciated.""

Interest rates for a rental property?

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

California teen insurance question?

How much would insurance for a 16 year old beginning driver in a 25,000 car in California be. Thanks in advance friendly Yahoo Answers users :)""

Im 18 Years old with a 1998 corsa (5door) and im getting insurance quotes at 2500 - 3k+? is this right?

A few of my mates are getting quotes at just under 2k, but i dont get anywer near that. i dont have pass plus but surely a car this old doesnt have high insurance?""

Can i drive other peoples vhicles with my car insurance?

hi i have insurance to drive my car and im coverd to drive other peoples cars but dose the other persons car need insurance covering that vhicle for me to still be coverd or will my insurance cover that??? thanks

What's a website that tells you the average insurance of a car?

Lets say for a Mustang GT? I'm think of getting one but don't know how much the insurance of one is. Thanks.

How much do u spend for your car insurance a year?

I would like to compare the fares to german car insurances.. e.g. for a VW Polo or Ford Fiesta..

Why does ACA make insurance mandatory?

Does anyone know why the Affordable Health Care Act requires you to have insurance? I could understand an optional government insurance plan if you don't get it through work, but I don't understand why there will be a penalty if you are uninsured. Avoiding emotional responses (for instance: b/c Obama sux), does anyone know the reasoning behind that? An example of the answer I'm looking for would be if you asked me why Americans are required to have car insurance, why aren't we just allowed to pay for accidents out of pocked if we choose to? I would answer by saying that some people would not get insurance because they thought they could avoid an accident, but then get into one and nobody would pay for the other person's car/injuries. Putting the person in jail wouldn't help the victim, so it's better to make everyone have car insurance.""

""How much would the cost of a 2003 lincoln ls front bumper be, and where can I find a bumper?

2003 silver Lincoln LS. Only reliability insurance on the car.

geico insurance quote by license

What is the best insurance policy for my llc business?

Car insurance question..wasn't my fault.?

i got into a car accident 4weeks ago. the person begged me not to call her insurance company n said she'd pay for everything. after i got my estimate then she decided not to pay b/c its about 4000. it took her 2weeks to decide. i already talked to both of my insurance company n her insurance company. it wasn't my fault, and i have a witness. i don't want to use my insurance b/c i have to pay 1000 deductible and i'm not sure if i can get it back, and why should i if it was that person's fault. her insurance company said i should just use my insurance, and my insurance company said it'd be easier to use her insurance. what should i do? should i just wait? b/c i really don't want to pay a 1000 dollars.""

I am 18 and need car insurance?

i am moving out of my moms house, me and her havent been getting along at all lately. she isnt letting me take my car so i need to buy my own car and get my own insurance. is it possible for an 18 year old to get their own car insurance policy ? i was told you had to be 25. and if i do buy my own policy, about how much will it be? i have no tickets or violations and it will be an older car, but it will run! and advice at all on moving out and making it work would be much appreciated.""

""I m under 18 and my parents are divorced, so how do i do my car insurance?""

My parents are divorced, and eac have different car insurance plans. if i go under one of their car insurance plans to use their car, can i still use the other parents car all the time of do i have to get separate insurance?""

Does insuring a family member/friend on your car make insurance cheaper?

Need help with car insurance quotes?

i wanna get a used 2004 mazda rx-8. it has 68,000 miles on it and is a coupe, 2 doors. i really need just a guess, cause my online effort on all those sights is really driving me crazy. i don't know what half the stuff means. i'm 16 and would prolly be on my parents insurance, cause thats what my brothers doing. any ideas at what it would be per month?""

Car insurance.......?

If I lend my car to a friend and they have a prang into another car and the friend is not covered by any insurance to drive my car what will happen? Will my insurance be effected?

How much will my car insurance be?

I just got my 7th DUI conviction and I want to buy a Chevrolet Corvette, but dont know how much insurance will cost my parents? I don't want them to have to pay too much but i really want the car. please help""

Which is worse on insurance costs or points a DUI or not haveing insurance?

My insurance company has on record that my husband had a DUI 2 years ago, but he didn't I got the paper work to show that it was a driving without insurance charge but I want to know which is worse to the insurance company.""

Health & dental insurance?

who has the best health & dental insurance for a small business of less than 10 people?

How much does your credit rating affect your car insurance premium?

The CSR from my company just told me that continuous coverage is much more of a discount than a good credit rating gives you. So, overall, about what percent do folks in the know think that the credit rating matters?""

Where can i buy salvaged/broken cars or trucks from insurance companies for cheap?

i am thinking to start a business of exporting cars to third world countries. i see potential but i am looking for cheap and nice cars. i already have a mechanic, already have agents and know how to ship. i am thinking i should find potential markets here that i can buy for cheap. my main target is older semi trucks and some models of sedans here. any help ?""

How do I find health insurance if I have been told we are uninsurable?

I am asking this question for my m-in-law. Retired early, had extensive back surgery, f-in-law has diabetes and possible heart issues. Going to be coming off of COBRA in California, and are looking for health insurance. Aren't there health insurances like Medicaid/Care that cover hard to insure people that are in > 50yr age group?? What if they change their residency from Calif. to Texas?? Does it matter??""

Anyone know of an insurance company in Alabama that covers Suboxone?

Ive been checking around and BCBS said that I wouold have to wait till after a year of coverage untill they would cover that drug for some reason, also would it be considered a pre-existing condition if I was prescribed the drug before I obtained coverage?""

Insurance question?

My friend has a 1990 Mazda B-2200 Club Cab 4x2 and he's paying $140 per month for insurance. I keep telling him that if he gets a new car his insurance rate will go down because of the safety features on that car. His truck has no ABS, airbags or any other safety features besides seatbelts. He's looking to get a 2008 Volkswagen Rabbit. Now the Rabbit has standard 4-wheel ABS, front, side and curtain airbags, traction control, etc. The price of the car is around $17,000-18,000 but he's still worried that he'll pay more each month. Is that actually true or am I completely wrong?""

Car Insurance/homeowners insurance?

Is Response Insurance a good company? I'm looking to lower my current rates with American Family. Response gave me some really good rate quotes.

Can i get full coverage insurance with a suspended drivers license?

How much is insurance per month?

Insurance for a car. I'm going to buy a used car for no more than $3000, for getting to and fro school. How much would insurance be? Is insurance where you take out a loan and pay back on it month by month, forever? Or can you cease it at anytime?""

Car insurance advice needed?

What would be a good car insurance for me to get? I'm 18, if that helps. I'm looking for affordable and full coverage. So yeah. Thanks. :)""

How much should I be paying for Car Insurance? - 99 Honda Accord 26yr old male?

I have a 1999 Honda Accord , Fair condition, 124,000 miles. I am paying aprox 1500 per year for my plan. I am 26 with some points . Last Ticket was in Jan 2005 speeding, one other ticket in 2004. Clean since then. One accident that was not my fault. Should I drop my collison and does anyone have an idea on what a typical plan would run me? I feel like a 1500 dollar plan on a car that is worth 4500-5000 blue book car is a bit much. Thanks""

Cheap car insurance I mean cheap?

Just passed my test and found insurance is massive, I need some kinda voucher or something to get to insure my car. Any ideas. UK ONLY""

Cheapest sport cars for teenagers?

What is the best cheapest sport car and the cheapest insurance.

Advice regarding car insurance....I am new to it all?

Could someone please explain to me how the costs are decided, im aware the younger you are the more it will be (im 18 :/) but which cars fall into which category ? Any sites which will show me ? Also any advice on what is a good 1st car ? can anyone suggest a site where i can do comparisions regarding the car/insurance cost/insurance group etc because when i search nothing useful is coming up""

How much impact will a claim of $1400 have on my Insurance rates?

I have a deductible of $500 so the actual payout would only be $900. But someone told me that the amount doesn't matter. Its the number of claims. So in that case would 1 claim matter? I have asked the same question to my Insurance company and they are non comittal. Anyone with similiar situation, please advise..""

Cost of insurance for a 16 year old?

I am turning 16 in may and i can't wait to get my license but i am also starting to think about insurance. It is going to be sooooo much. I have a '85 corvette but my dad told me they have to insure me with the most expensive car they own. This would be a 2002 F250. I was wondering which one would be cheaper and about how much? I was thinking around 200-300$ a month but i have no idea? and how much difference would it be between the car and the truck? please help?

geico insurance quote by license

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