#so it'll be an option with a student visa

[mwydyn]

It's very weird being in a relationship for about 3 months and knowing his visa runs out in just over a year like weird to think very hypothetically but also sort of seriously about my future and where I want to live but only if things workout but there's not been any reason to think it won't but it's only been 3 months but I really care about him

[lesbianashleywilliams]

So those of you who have been following me may have noticed that I all but disappeared for about three months...well, that's because I've been planning to go to Japanese language school, and the wheels have really begun to start turning!!!!!!

I have been given the opportunity of my lifetime to be able to attend a Japanese language course at the International Study Institute in Tokyo's Shinjuku Ward. The course runs for a year, with the opportunity to extend it to two years, if my grades and money are sound [insert sound of children cheering here].

Being able to study Japanese locally and long-term has been a life goal of mine since I was fourteen. Though I'll probably never be able to fulfill my teenage dream of being an interpreter/translator for expats, this feels like the next best thing. Due to suffering from several comorbid chronic conditions that have majorly altered my life, most notably the beast known as systemic lupus erythematosus, I will probably never be able to seize another chance like this ever again. I won't be going in as a total novice, as I was able to take a year's worth of 1000-level Japanese language courses in college…before I had to drop out…… Since then I've been self-studying and using language exchange apps for practice, but nothing will beat the experience of using it in the day-to-day.

At this point in time (January 2024), my first six months of tuition have already been paid for. I am currently in a quiet waiting period while I wait to get to the next steps of the Certificate of Eligibility/Student Visa process. Before that, though, I need to secure my flight and housing. For the sake of my health, safety, privacy and comfort, a sharehouse will not be an option; I will have to seek a private apartment. I am here today to request assistance with the aforementioned flight and initial housing costs. It's still too early to commit to either of those, but:

The average cost of flexible one-way flights from where I am to either of the two Tokyo metro airports (Haneda and Narita) is running around $1200

I am doing some preliminary apartment scouting and am hoping not to exceed $800 per month (I will be traveling with suitcases and will need to properly store them). The apartments I am looking at do not require a security deposit or key money, but will probably come with a guarantor fee.

Now because I'm not going over there through one of the more common avenues - through a university or a job - I have to do it myself. Real life has meant that I've had to dig into my bank balance a bit, and after paying for the first six months I'm a little under the 2 million yen (~$14k) threshold that Immigration likes to see for a year's study. I'm lucky enough in that I will at least have a regular source of (unearned) income, as well as a financial sponsor; it's just the bank balance, flight, and accommodation that are hanging me up. Right now I am setting the initial goal at $3000, but I expect to move those goalposts at least once. Any extra will go towards a flight home for the Christmas holidays in December. After that, it'll go towards paying down my credit cards as much as I can prior to leaving the United States.

I can provide my conditional letter of acceptance from ISI, as well as the school invoice and receipt of the bank transfer for the first six months of tuition upon request (identifying information redacted, of course).

Because there's still a couple of months until I'm set to fly out I put together a GoFundMe (now that's a name I haven't used in a while) to idly collect whatever help I can. At the very least I just need this post to circulate enough to eventually cast a wider net outside of Tungle.hell.

GoFundMe

If you can't use GFM, V3nmo and P4ypal are also options:

V3nmo: @/venus3palette

P4ypal: @/fantasytheater

Again: I'm not in that much of a hurry, and the situation isn't dire! Thank you for combing my wall of text!!!!

[aintgonnatakethis]

hi, this may not be the kind of question you normally, but would you mind talking about your experience being trans in the uk? i'm headed there for uni at the end of the summer, and while in many ways it'll probably be better (i'm coming from a very catholic conservative area in the states), i'm kind of scared.

Sorry this took a few days to answer. Originally I thought there wouldn't be much to put here but then I started writing and wow! I have actually had a life, haven't I? 😂 If you have any other questions I'm happy to answer them for you.

I'm going to put this under a readmore because it got so long, but TL;DR: Find allies in LGBTQ+/queer clubs at your Uni, if your professors deadname/misgender you complain to the Uni, register with multiple NHS GP surgeries to doctor shop for a trans friendly GP, same with NHS dentists, if you're socially transitioned and get lucky with GPs you might be able to get a bridging prescription for hormones (details below), if you're faced with medical transphobia know your rights but discretion is the better part of valour.

So all in all I think I've had things pretty easy. I'm a social recluse so even before covid kicked off I wasn't going out or going to school/working a job. It's only recently (since top surgery) that I've felt confident enough to go out and do things and that's because I now pass all the time.

I don't know where you are in your transition or whether passing is even an option (and I also wouldn't say passing should be the automatic goal for all of us - going stealth is just my personal preference) but if people can take a quick look and "clock" you, it will obviously be more dangerous for you. Though I don't think that differs much from place to place; trans people are always in danger if we're outed.

I would recommend looking for any LGBTQ+/queer clubs your Uni might have. Sometimes those groups are awful and they just bleed chronically-online-made-real-life, but sometimes you'll make friends for life. It's important to get a support network going around you I think, as well as know what rights you have through the Uni when it comes down to professors referring you to with the correct name and pronouns.

Talk to the professors first obviously - the fewer waves you make the better - but if some of them continue to deadname/misgender you, stick to your guns. I know it's a tough sounding piece of advice, but if you let them get away with it once, they'll do it forever. Find out who in the Uni you're able to file complaints with. If you need to, do it. Don't take no shit!

If you're on a student visa and are here for more than six months, congrats! You get to enjoy the sparkling joy /s that is the NHS. Something that differs greatly between the US and the UK is that you can doctor shop super easily over here. I'm presuming that Uni=a town at least, so there should be multiple GP surgeries within your range and 2-7 doctors at each depending on the size of the area they're looking after. You're allowed to register at multiple surgeries without informing them you're doing so (and our medical records aren't on a centralised system so they aren't likely to find out). Do that ASAP and then if you run into a doctor who's anti-trans you can just bounce, no questions asked, either to another doctor at the same surgery (which is what I did) or to another surgery altogether.

On a side note I'd also register with every NHS dentist in the area as well, as waiting lists for simple check ups are 6 months long currently. The only thing with multiple registering you have to worry about is if you have an appointment either turn up or cancel it. If you no show they'll remove you from their list entirely.

If you're already on hormones and are looking to continue taking them here, I'm afraid I have no idea what the transfer system is. I know GPs can write bridging prescriptions (hormones while waiting for the Gender Clinic to get through their waiting list) so if you have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria from a doctor in the US then a GP might be willing to do that.

I was referred and 2 years later my GP (who I love and would die for) was like "well this is ridiculous, you're obviously socially transitioned so I'll supply the testosterone for you." She wrote that bridging prescription for 3 years, gel only (which I've stayed on because I have a needle phobia), and blood tests every 3 months (now every 6). While she was writing the bridge she had to check the blood tests herself, but when the Gender Clinic finally got off their arses they're sent there.

A bridge will be a lower dose (ig micro dosing?) than you'd get properly, but it's better than nothing. If you're looking for that, bring proof that you're socially transitioned and have been for at least two years. If you've changed your name any letters/documents are good. I have 7 years worth of shit saved, just like my grandad used to do with receipts so when it came time to do his taxes he'd have everything together. ❤️️

Obviously the GP in question might want to get to know you a bit first before giving you anything, especially if you're looking for T as that can be used for sports enhancing purposes. But without knowing how long you're going to be here, my wait on the Gender Clinic waiting list was 5 years so I'd guess that's not gonna work for you.

Transphobia I've suffered from the medical industry. Right.

First time was before I moved to where I'm living currently and came out in tears to my then GP. She said "you've obviously thought this through" but then did not refer me to a Gender Clinic, thus breaking the law. Me, not knowing the law at the time, did nothing. Lesson: know your rights.

First time where I understood what was an NHS dentist. It was before I started taking T, obviously before top surgery. I did not pass. He came into the waiting room called Mr. <name> and when I stood up the look of disgust on his face was fucking haunting. That was a tough appointment to get through with him sticking sharp things in my mouth, let me tell you. He also informed me my wisdom teeth weren't fully done coming through yet which was why I was in pain, which turned out to be a lie as when I went to a private dentist (massively stupidly expensive wnr) the following month they told me they were impacted and I'd literally been chewing on myself every time I ate or spoke, hence the pain. I haven't been back to that NHS dentist place since, though I do want to get back on their waiting list now I pass properly. Lesson: get second opinions.

No direct transphobia from the private place, though after I'd voiced financial concerns and then said I ate a lot of chocolate, one tech did say "well, after you've paid for today you won't be able to afford that anymore". Unknown whether she said that because I was trans and she wanted to get a dig in or just because she was a cunt. 🤷‍♂️ I was stoned at the time as I do before all dentist appointments so didn't even work out it was supposed to offend me until later.

For the regular blood tests that are required a nurse at the surgery does it. This particular nurse was always fine and lovely to me before I started T and began to pass as a man, suddenly got very weird and standoffish, calling me 'honey' and 'sweetheart', things you do not call young men here unless you're an old woman. The kicker was when she drew blood and (knowing I have a phobia of needles) said "all done" and made sure to wait until I was looking before pulling it out. A few seconds passed and she said "you okay?" in the most vindictive tone I've ever heard. Sadly for her my panic is internal so she got fuck all. The shift times for each nurse are available on the GP surgery's website. She does afternoons, so now I only go in on mornings. Lesson: when you come out, change your name, start hormones, start passing - at basically every step of the process - there'll be people who'll treat you differently for no reason. If they're friends, sit down and talk it out before deciding what you're going to do. If they're not, avoid them.

GP referred me for a hysterectomy. First place turned me down because I'm trans. Second place put me on their waiting list. GP was pissed off.

I won't go into detail about the problems I've faced from the Gender Clinic or the surgeon as that probably won't be useful to you. If it turns out you'll be working with a GC or getting surgery done over here let me know and I'll add stuff.

Good luck at Uni, friend! 🤜🤛