#transmisandry

[pyrosex]

“Anti-transmasculinity isn’t real but it should be” is such an unbelievably transphobic thing to say, just in general

[a-polite-melody]

I love how much the arguments I see against transandrophobia boil down to, even if not directly stated, the idea that “trans man” is not an intersectional experience.

The idea that if you’re a man, regardless of anything else, you will be afforded male privilege. And that apparently it’s “third gendering” trans men to deny this.

And the idea that all of the actual oppression experienced by trans men comes from the trans aspect. And apparently it’s “misgendering” trans men to deny this because you’re implying they aren’t men if their oppression comes from anywhere else.

And that these two parts of a trans man’s identity will never influence one another. That the transness and the manness are always treated as two separate and distinct parts of the trans man’s identity and how his experiences will manifest.

Which can only really make sense if you’re bogged down in the pure theory of it all and refuse to listen to trans men and mascs telling you that this contradicts our actual lived experiences because if it contradicts the pure theory it simply cannot be.

And how much that shows a fundamental lack of understanding of intersectionality on top of the willingness to throw away anything that contradicts you as something not worth engaging with, something entirely made up by the TMRAs to pretend to be oppressed by trans women, how much that’s already a foregone conclusions before interacting with us and hearing what we’re actually saying.

[lmazo]

individuals hating white people does not make "reverse racism" real. if a white person joined anti-racism communities and became hyper-exposed to the frustrations of people of color complaining about white people, and some of those people were actively mean to white people.... that wouldn't be fun for the white person at first, but you'd tell them to get over it. and if they had the audacity to call what they were experiencing "anti-white racism," well, we'd correct them. we'd explain that racism is a cultural & structural phenomena that by design is set up to benefit white people; racism isn't just an opinion that lives in a few people's heads.

similarly, women complaining about men doesn't make misandry real, even if those women have been driven to genuinely hate men or view them as evil.

and if women within the trans community are hating on men within the trans community, whether it's in a moment of frustration or they genuinely are convinced aligning yourself with the male gender makes you evil, well that doesn't make transmisandry/transandrophobia real either.

[swordbeliever]

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

[januscorner]

I feel like people forget most trans guys still had to grow up as girls.

We were still forced to be mature early

We were still told to not to take up space

We were still subject to female beauty standards

Our bodies were still treated as inappropriate

We were still pitted against each other

We were still excluded from “male” activities

We were still treated as lesser the boys

Those things don’t evaporate once we transition they’re fucking internalized. I constantly have to remind myself I’m allowed to exist. We don’t stop dealing with misogyny.

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.

[transmascissues]

the cis maternal urge to treat your trans son’s body like an extension of your own body, and to react to said trans son’s physical transition as if they might as well have just started hacking away at your own body with a rusty axe, really is something else.

my mom hasn’t seen my chest post-op at all because the idea of it is so awful to her that the one time we took my bandages off with her present, she ran across the hotel room to hide from it and started crying to my brother about it (yes, with actual tears). she drove an hour and a half with us at 5:30am to my post-op just to sit in the waiting room because she refused to come in and see me after the surgeon took the bandages off. my dad has been the only one helping me with recovery things like changing bandages and monitoring healing because she still won’t look at my chest.

and she says that’s because she loves me and cares about me. love is when you treat the body your child can finally live in comfortably like it’s your worst nightmare. apparently.

[transvarmint]

"No one cares if women / transmascs / afab people wear pants and boy clothes!!!"

On my knees begging you to talk to people who grew up in religious fundamentalist communities and high control groups / cults

[choicesgoddess]

the craziest thing about being transmasc or a trans man is that people LOVE to say you’re gonna look ugly, gonna turn ugly etc. and personally for a while i bought into this nonsense. but one day i decided fuck it, decided to transition and you know what happened? i still retained the most handsome parts of the person i was before. but i looked happier. i looked more beautiful, more handsome, prettier, stylish, hot. because i finally looked like me & so much happier and confident. anyway, this is just to say - go transition dude, if you’re hesitating. you will only look even more handsome & beautiful, fuck their propaganda.

[bananitryithegoatman]

alert alert a trans man expressed enjoyment in being a man for a moment and didn’t feel sorry about it y’all gotta do something about it how dare he say “men are cool” without stating he knows oppression and patriarchy exists and he’s sorry before that

[trans-androgyne]

To any trans man who needs to hear this: When they say they “hate all men” or want to “kill all men,” you don’t have to just accept that. It’s okay to feel hurt, it’s okay to feel unsafe. It’s okay to recognize that they are either othering your manhood or demonizing you for it, and to call them out for it if you’re in a position to. If they have trauma around men, they can work on that in private instead of expressing harmful sentiments around their marginalized male friends. You deserve love and safety. I love you and I hope I can help you feel safe.

[a-polite-melody]

I think people forgot that “punching up” is about punching at the power structure and those actively upholding it, not harming individual people or entire groups of marginalized people you’ve deemed less of a victim of that structure than you are by using that very structure as your way to harm them.

[pokemon-radical-red]

Why are trans men constantly gaslit about our lived experiences?

We try to talk about how we’re denied reproductive care and are treated as others in gynecological spaces. We should not be outliers or things of ridicule or disgust in these spaces. These are spaces where we should be welcomed like any cis woman would be. We are treated like this even when we need gynecological care because we are trans men.

We try to talk about how TERFs oversexualize us while infantalizing and talking down to us. They act like they have ownership of our bodies, and like we need them to guide us to “accepting” ourselves as women. They do this because we are trans men. People have started calling them TWERFs instead, because they like to believe that we are included on behalf of TERFs wanting to change our minds and bodies, and claiming that they will have open arms for us when we’re “done with our phase.” (Being sexualized is especially true of straight trans men. Gay trans men will be constantly subjected to fatphobic stereotypes, and plenty of things that are just “LIBERAL SJW,” misogynistic stereotypes turned around and used against someone who it’s slightly more acceptable to hurt. This is okay to so many people because we are trans men.)

When we point out any ways that we face oppression, we have 500 people screaming that another group has it worse. Depending on the group, they claim that we’re either privileged men or privileged little girls complaining about nothing.

There is no way for us to win in society’s eyes. We are constantly silenced and spoken over, even by some of our siblings. Trans men deserve to be respected. Trans men deserve to be understood. Trans men deserve to be accepted.

Trans men deserve to be believed.

[start-where-i-end]

There's one interesting thing I never saw anyone talk about yet, when conservatives start fearmongering about tampons in boy toilets in schools or pregnant men, it's periodically framed specifically as trans men corrupting boyhood/manhood. A la "these delusional sjw girls are confusing our boys about what it means to be a man". The idea is that a cis boy will see a trans boy take a tampon and decide he wants it too.

In a way, fear of trans people's potential for grooming/perversion transcends typical stereotypes about assigned genders, and that's what I mean when I say trans people regardless of agab and identity all get the worst parts of the experience of cis men and cis women.

We're simultaneously more predatory and scary than cis men and more fragile and fearful than cis women. Both kinds of cis people need protection from us, and then we're also something weak that demands to be protected and coddled.

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

“If men had periods/got pregnant, the world would be so different” actually nothing would change because they already do and the world still hates and oppresses us for it, but thanks for letting me know that you not only don’t care about our struggles, but see our bodies as divine punishment for our male identity! How progressive of you.

[transmascissues]

do you actually care about trans men or do you relegate male pregnancy to the status of "gross but funny fanfiction trope" at best and "literal body horror" at worst? do you actually care about trans men or have you accepted without question the ideas that bottom growth is a borderline-torturously painful process and phalloplasty is a dangerous surgery with objectively unsatisfactory results because they confirm your implicit assumptions about the violence and horror of masculinization? do you actually care about trans men or do you think testosterone being a controlled substance is fair because you prioritize fairness in sports more highly than transmasculine lives? do you actually care about trans men or do you distance yourself from us as we transition and make half-joking comments about us being traitors because you view transmasculinity as a shift from ally to enemy? do you actually care about trans men or do you get mad at us when we read transmasculine experiences into female characters because you see it as an act of theft and believe transmasculinity is inherently less valuable than womanhood? do you actually care about trans men or is your first thought when you see a transition timeline about how pretty the "before" picture is? do you actually care about trans men or does your interest in our lives begin and end with how badly you want a boypussy to fuck?

do we exist to you as real people or only in theory? do you read the stories we tell, listen to the music we make? how many of us can you name? when we speak, do you listen? would you fight for us? do you trust us to know ourselves best? are you our friend? do you mourn us when we're gone? do you care for us while we're still here?