#so many things fucked up I'm just happy we got something (mostly) cohesive

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I directed my first student short film last year, now it's available on YouTube to view

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lil oc animatic :]

Okay, okay, so if you follow my private Twitter account I know I said I wasn't going to share this publicly BUT I remembered I have an oc blog and you know what, I figure the only people who are going to see this are the people who can handle my cringe anyways, so I made it an unlisted youtube video. I made this in 2 days and It's set to the tune of Harpy Hare by Yaelokre because sometimes I get to be a basic bitch, as a treat.

I planned some of the animatic visually in my head before I started but 99% of the frames ended up being stream of consciousness, just whatever I came up with in the moment. Including the designs for three characters! I knew that if i tried to plan literally anything I would have ended up not finishing or maybe not even starting this. I did still try my best to make it cohesive and I wanted it to be mostly understandable, but at the same time I know nobody knows my ocs the way I do so it's very possible this is just a mess to everyone who isn't me lol. But that's why i'm here to ramble on and on and on and on....... So first point of discussion! The two mystery characters in the beginning! I tried to make it clear in other parts of the animatic but those are Silas' and Finlay's parental figures, respectively.

The first character who appears is Faust. That was supposed to be a placeholder name but I can't get it out of my head so they are Faust now. They are Silas' caretaker and the person Silas' parents trusted to take care of him when they gave him up. Faust took Silas out of the desert (despite his many protests...) and raised him among mostly deerkin. Culture in the Southern Havens is very concerned with manners, fitting into norms, and being knowledgable about highly specific superstitions, among other things. So despite Silas' best efforts, he is literally fucking Blue, has horns, and is also neurodivergent, so he never stops feeling like an outcast. Plus, the forest roof is so thick that it's really hard to see the stars at night, which depresses him because in the desert the entire world looks like a night sky! Secretly Faust would like for Silas to think of them as a parental figure, but Silas never really does; he views them more like a permanent babysitter than anything. Faust is also perhaps overly gentle on Silas and though he will express that he wishes he got out more he can't bring himself to actually push him to do anything that makes him uncomfortable, partially out of affection for him and partially because he feels so guilty about bringing him to the forest in the first place.

The second character is Finlay's dad, who is... a character! You will notice that he is absent from 99% of the animatic, just like how he was absent from 99% of Finlay's life!

In many of the frames I was very intentional about the use of lighter and darker tones and there's no way I can talk about every instance in this post so, I guess pay attention to all that for symbolism! The one thing I will mention are Silas' eyes! Which become dark but gain brightness again when Finlay gives him hope for the future, and they stay bright even when he loses that dream because in place of romanticism he gains clarity.

Last couple of things to note before I move on!! For the parts with Faust and Finlay's dad, I designed the side decorations after the types of patterns that each culture that they're associated with (Southern Havens & the Farlands, respectively) tends towards! And, I also indicated time passing using both Silas' horns and Finlay's hood (it gains stitches as he gets older). Finlay's hood also symbolizes when he's hiding his true self vs when he's not >:) And actually I think we are now at the last point I wanna discuss so!! THIS GUY!!! THIS FELLA!!!!!!!! I'M REALLY REALLY HAPPY I MADE SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEM!!!!! So get ready for a lore dump on this guy...

This is why animatics / comics are great for me because it forces me to actually design the characters I need to design LOL

OKAY! SO! In terms of direct relevance to the animatic, all that's important to know is that this is the spirit that haunts Finlay! Or at least, the one he believes is haunting him... he's not really sure anymore....

So let me explain the character's deal! Firstly, and this goes for pretty much any spirit, pronouns don't really matter, so anything is fine. I also haven't given them a name yet (rip), I need to figure out those naming conventions first. For now they're just Finlay's Spirit. This spirit's shtick is that they seek out those who have been (or feel as though they have been) "left behind" and offer them belonging and love in the form of.... weaving their souls into little stuffed dolls for their oh so beloved collection. According to the stories, their grounds are littered with shallow, hastily dug graves wherein they dump any remains of the body they deem disposable. When they pull their hood over their face, it disguises them as kinfolk, usually taking a form that represents whatever type of belonging the victim yearns for (for example, for Finlay it was a parental figure). When they approach someone they frame it as "come with me i'll give you a home :]" or possibly "let's make a deal :]" but if the person refuses they will drop the act and take their soul (or whatever it is that they want) by FORCE if ya know what I mean!!! (Which is actually not very common, even for evil spirits. They can usually respect no as an answer specifically because they make it so hard to do. Guess this guy REALLY likes their doll collection. There's only one real way to get away from them and it doesn't look like Finlay is gonna figure it out anytime soon...)

Design-wise! Their true body is obscured and amorphous. They cover themselves in stitched-together fabric scraps with only their face and seeming hundreds of arms/hands ever peeking out of the ensemble. Their fingers are sewing needles and they move very stiffly, almost as if they are moving at a lower frame rate than everything around them. (This remains as a subtle tell when they're disguised!) Their teeth are thin and pointy and stick out in such a way that their mouth almost appears sewn shut when closed.

Like just about any evil spirit they simply get pure joy out of tormenting poor kinfolk. So oftentimes, they will torment a victim for a very long time until the person has finally lost their hope and can be willingly taken. And then they get to remain as a sentient functionless doll and the spirit gets to revel in all their misery for the rest of eternity yayyyyy!!!!!! :]

Finlay has only had one verifiably real encounter with this spirit when he was a child wherein he refused it and it took after him as if to kill him. But it disappeared suddenly and Finlay has been terrified of it ever since because he knows it could be anywhere and anyone. I do want to make it clear that even though this character does physically exist and is a part of the narrative, they're also... kind of a symbol in themselves? Like, in a META sense, Finlay's trauma does not LITERALLY come from this spirit, but from what the spirit represents. Does that make any sense!!! In writing him it's a really careful balance for me to strike because I want everything to be grounded in reality but I also want that reality to be exaggerated for fantastical and storytelling purposes... ya know!!

Okay well!! That's everything I can think to talk about for now, but please feel free to ask if you have any questions about anything!!!! Because that would be fun!!!!! Until next time! :]

[park-loins]

How was the concert? Did you have fun? Tell me all the juicy bits how are they live? I'm sure I'll never see them cause Bighit hates Europe and I'm even more sure that if they do come they don't know abt Eastern Europe so I still won't be able to go :/

Dude.... It was amazing. And I really hope European ARMY gets to experience it some time soon! It was a really different experience from the TRB Dallas, mostly because I was so much closer last time, but this time I was p2 and I got to see all the choreo and shit but I was still close enough to feel close and it was just.... amazing. I want to write up a full fan account later but right now I’m just gonna list the top things I remember about each of the boys:

Kook: God. His solo stage was fucking remarkable. His footwork his voice his moves just. He is such an entertainer, he’s so superhuman. We had pretty good view of his thigh girth from our seats and it, too, was remarkable.... Jenny’s words, not mine..... He also followed Jin’s lead and stole an army bomb, but instead of sweetly returning it like Jin, he pretended to drop it like a little imp butt because he’s a fucking imp butt. When Jimin said “Did you like it?” his little “I liked it” was the cutest thing I have ever heard and I squealed and fell to the floor, he is just precious and talented and adorable. A complete dork, the hottest dork. 

Yoongi: Um just like fucking fire. Just. fire. His Cypher verse was immaculate, I’m talking full virgin birth immaculate, and his solo stage was fucking POWERFUL man. It was so emotional and powerful and I was like legit moved by him. He also dropped it low. He is so tiny and so beautiful and so fucking talented it hurts me. Fun fact: my little sister got drenched in Father Yoongi’s holy water during Cypher. 

Jin: Stunning. Charismatic. Hilarious. Talented. His solo was another world man. I think he actually had my favorite voice live?? Which I wasn’t expecting because last time it was Baby J but..... wow. Fucking stunning. He blew at least 4 kisses and stole 2 army bombs, one regular one, then one pink one when we did the rainbow ocean. He looked so polite and charming when he was asking the girl for them. He just looked happy and carefree and UGH just perfect. 

Taehyung: SHIT MAN HIS HIGH NOTES that’s right, this deep subterranean voiced motherfucker was SLAYING HIS FUCKING high notes during his solo like WOW it was better live than you can imagine. Probably the best high notes of the concert. And it seemed like he was throwing some extra ones in there.  He also LOVED to tease the crowd, like squat down and make cute faces at the fans. His charisma while dancing was off the charts, he goes from zero to too intense in 1 sec flat. There were eyebrows. 

Jimin: It’s really hard to understand the POWER in his dance until you see it live. He is..... he’s something else. His every move, every pause, every breath is just brimming with potential energy, he THROWS himself into the dances, you’ve never seen anything like it. He is a born performer. Even when he’s not dancing or singing, he’s performing. His voice is so clear and lovely. He started the concert with his hair all nicely combed down like a nice little fringe but by the end, he had done that thing where he ran his fingers through it to the point where it was off his forehead. He did this thing where he liked to gaze off all seriously into the crowd and probably give some poor fan a heart attack by looking straight into their souls. Rude as shit, always found a way to make every move a little bit nasty. Perfect, stunning, small. 

Hobi: .... I could not take my eyes off of him. I could not. First of all not only is he the most beautiful person I have ever seen in front of my eyes, but he is just..... his on-stage charisma is second to none. When he’s dancing, he’s still engaging the audience, he’s smiling, he’s just.... fuck I don’t even know how to describe it. He draws you in. He is by far, for me, the most comprehensively amazing live performer. His singing? Fucking amazing. Mama killed me. It was perfect. He knows how to work an audience, man. Ruder than Jimin even, always throwing in extra little rolls and thrusts, but you can’t even be mad at him, because he is HUMAN SUNSHINE and you know what I know we call him that all the time, I know that’s like his thing, but at this concert, I felt it, I felt happier just looking at him. I can’t... describe him. He’s just. The closest thing to magic that this dreary world has to offer. 

Namjoon: I...... I don’t even really know.... how to articulate.... any of this. Full disclosure I have been having a slow motion Kim Namjoon meltdown since summer 2015 but... this concert was the culmination of all of that. Arguably the most emotional moment of the concert was his solo stage. And listen, I was not even a huge fan of Reflection before this, like it was great and all but it was one of the ones I skipped over on the album. But he... jesus he just. He fucking felt this shit. He felt what he was saying, and I felt it, and every time he said ‘I wish I could love myself,’ the crowd shouted ‘we love you’ and fuck i have never felt so bonded with that many thousands of fucking people. It was this giant cohesive emotional moment and it was transcendent. I’m pretty sure he also found a way to make the rainbow crowd like a statement about racial equality, just the most philosophical beautiful asshole you’ve ever met. When the crowd got rowdy and people were getting hurt, he stopped everything and said, “no pushing please, safety is the most important thing” and would not proceed until there was order. He talked to the crowd like he was talking to friends, he was never full of himself or condescending, despite their immense undeniable success, like he was just so genuine and thankful, and as soon as he walked off that stage, I immediately missed him. He has utterly ruined human beings for me and I am honestly so fucked.