#so much of this is just- not really fixable over online so uh

[moomoomooing]

also i swear i will post eventually but after that week of consistent posting i hit artblock and have been promptly sent into an annoying bout of probably depression and anxiety?

ill be back eventually, im just unusually tired ALL the time and busy

[intothedanvers-e]

Young, Dumb, & Broke

Word Count: 2.6k (whoops)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You just graduated high school and were ready to embark on your last summer of being a dumb teen and going on adventures before having to face the realities of the adult world. One day you were driving to a lake to meet some of your friends when your car broke down in the middle of nowhere. With no service and no gas stations around you wandered a little down the street and found one house where you went to ask for help. You expected to find an old couple living in the middle of nowhere, but a nice young British guy (Tom) answered the door. Due to unforeseen circumstances you spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the night together, but when it’s time to leave he says he wants to see you again. You exchange numbers with the cute British guy and embark on a long, secretive summer fling. You both lie about what you do for a living and what you were both doing in the middle of nowhere, but the moments you too bonded were all genuine. Will he find out about your plans after summer? Will you find out what he actually does for a living? Will this fling extend past summer?

Authors Note: Thank you for all the feedback on this series! So i think im officially commiting to updating this once a week on Tuesdays! Mondays are usually a drag for me so i end up finishing a bunch of writing anyway and it helps perk me up for the rest of the week! I know its monday but next week ill update it on tuesday :) if you have any feedback/comments or would like to be added to my taglist for this series let me know!! this chapter is a little longer but I wanted to sort of finish this part to move on to cuter angsty stuff ;) i genuinely hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoy writing it!! thanks for readin <3 

Here’s my masterlist!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5

Chapter 4

You jumped up from the couch, your phone alarm startling you awake. You quickly turned it off trying not to wake up a sleeping Tom on the other couch. It was too late, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He smiled at you as soon as he saw you were awake.

“Sorry about that, I forgot I put an alarm on my phone so I can get up to shower. I didn’t mean to wake you up”

“S’alright. I should probably make breakfast before we go on and take a look at your car,” he said getting up from under his blanket.

“Oh you don’t have to come with me I don’t want- “

“Already decided!” he yelled as he walked into the kitchen.

He started playing music from a speaker as the sound of pots and pans being shifted around became louder. You quickly took a shower and came back out to meet Tom for what you thought was a quick breakfast. To your surprise he’d made a full spread; pancakes, cut up fruit, a ham and cheese omelet and some toast.

“Whoa thank you for breakfast,” you said sitting down in the seat next to him.

He just gave you a big smile considering he was already shoving things in his mouth. His hair was super bed-head curly and his eyes seemed sleepy but content. He looked adorable to say the least. You realized you were staring at him and quickly looked down at your various plates of food, quietly cursing yourself for staring at him for so long and hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“The car should be coming to get us at about 10, if that’s ok with you.”

“Do you mean like a taxi or something?”

“Uhh yeah,” he said quickly.

“You didn’t have to; I could’ve just walked.”

“Nonsense. Y/N when will you just let me be nice to you?”

You blushed and simply nodded your head. You spent all night trying to not be an inconvenience you didn’t even consider maybe he was just a really nice guy. He finished all the food in front of him and got up quickly.

“I’m going to go get ready before they come get us,” he said walking toward the stairs, “don’t you dare wash dishes, just put them in the dishwasher okay?”

You shot him a thumbs up and he disappeared up the stairs. 30 minutes later he walked into the living room as you were casually laying on the couch reading a book. You looked up at him and felt the butterflies again. His outfit was nothing special, a plain white shirt with regular jeans and a dark flannel, and his hair was slightly more tamed but just looking at him made your heart race. You didn’t want to admit it, but you may have a slight crush on him. You sat up as he walked over to you and plopped down on the couch next to you. He had a small box in his hands.

“I, uh, found an extra one of these in one of my suitcases. I ordered one online and they accidentally sent two. I was going to return it but seeing how much you like the character I really think you should have him.”

He handed you a tiny box with a Spiderman keychain in it. He was hanging upside down in his classic spidey suit.

“Oh my god this is adorable. He’ll look great next to my tiny Iron-Man. Thank you.”

“Just a little something to remember last night by,” he said looking deep into your eyes.

“How could I ever forget?”

He cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. He looked at the watch on his wrist and stood up.

“The car should be here any minute if you’d like to wait outside.”

“Sounds good.”

He quickly grabbed your duffel bag and headed out the door. You were going to tell him you didn’t mind carrying it, but stopped yourself and let him be a gentleman. He locked the door as a fancy blacked out Range Rover pulled up.

“What kind of taxi service is this?” you said your eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

“It’s not. He’s more like a, uh, chauffer?”

You turned to him and looked at him like he was crazy.

“What?!”

“Hey I’m not old enough to drive a rental car so, uh, my friend Harrison always manages to hire a chauffeur for if I need to get around places! It’s no big deal, I know the guy.” he said doing a quick handshake with the driver who had gotten off to open the back door for you. You climbed in the car shaking your head at Tom who got on the other side. Within a few minutes you were pulling up next to the mechanic. You could see that they were working on your car. You quickly thanked the driver and climbed off. Tom grabbed your bag and sent the driver on his way.

“Hey if I need you I’ll call you big guy. You’re the best man.”

They did their little handshake and he drove off. The both of you walked into the small office together. A middle aged man turned around in his chair to face you.

“How can I be of service to you today?” he said in a thick southern accent.

“Hi I’m Y/N, uh my car is the one that got picked up late last night. The small green one.”

“Oh that car. Got some of my best guys working on it, although I will say I do think you’d be better off selling that piece of junk and buying a new car little lady. Don’t know how much longer it’ll last.”

“I just need it to last through the summer.”

“Well let’s go ask Hal how it’s comin along and we’ll see if it’s even fixable okay lil lady?”

You nodded and followed close behind him, Tom close on your heels. You walked over to the car and saw that four guys were working on various different parts of it. The guy from the office was talking to who you assumed was Hal. You took a step closer to see if you could hear anything. Hal turned to look at you and extended his hand toward you.

“Hello ma’am I’m Hal, the best mechanic at this here Complete Auto Body. I take it this is your car?”

“I’m Y/N, yeah this is my baby.”

“Well no offence ma’am but I think she’s far gone. We can repair her for the time being and make her drivable but I think in about six months’ time you’ll be back in here with some irreparable damage. Might consider selling her off.”

“Six-month reliability is fine. I just need her to pull me through the summer.”

The guy looked at you confused and nodded. He turned to the three guys who were all hovering around your car.

“Well you heard the lady.”

They all went back to working on your car. The guy from the office walked you back into the tiny room.

“They should be done within the hour ma’am. If you give me a few minutes I can gather up a quote for you.”

You nodded and he left the room quickly. You and Tom sat on two chairs that were up against a wall. He turned to look at you and you realized he had a confused look on his face.

“What?”

“Why do you only need your car through summer? Are you planning on buying a new one?”

You looked down and started picking at your nails.

“No but, um, I’m moving away after the summer. I was planning on selling my car right before I moved so that I don’t have any more baggage that I don’t need.”

“Oh for like college or something?”

“Yeah kind of. I just need it to get me to and from work this summer. After my last shift I’ll drive it off to sell it and I’ll be done with this town.”

“I thought you liked it here?”

“I do, I guess. But I just need a change of scenery. Its home. It’ll always be home; I don’t think my mom wants to move anywhere else. I just need to not feel like I’ll be stuck here forever you know?”

He gave you an empathetic smile and looked like he was about to tell you something but was cut off by the guy walking back into the office.

“Here you go ma’am,” he said handing you a yellow receipt.

You smiled and looked down at the paper. You felt like your head was going to fly off your body.

“1500 dollars?!”

He walked over to you and began explaining everything you were paying for but you couldn’t hear a word he was saying. All you could think about was how big of a setback this would be toward you finally getting away from this town. You had just about 1500 in your savings account but that was going straight toward your moving away fund, or at least it was supposed to. You suddenly thought about the emergency credit card your mom gave you. She would probably be mad as hell if you used it but at least this way you could pay her back in payments and not all at once. It would set you back a month or two but you could continue to make the payments from anywhere in the world which meant you could technically still leave whenever you had enough money. You cut the guy off and stood quickly.

“I need to make a phone call.”

You quickly walked out of the office and dialed your mom. She was out of town and probably working but you had to try, you didn’t want her to find out about the credit card charge from the bank but from you instead. It went straight to voicemail. You tried a few more times with no luck. You decided to try one last time and this time it only rang once and went to voicemail. You decided to leave a message.

“Hey mom. So something came up and don’t panic but good ole Patricia took a beating last night. No it wasn’t a crash but she got pretty fucked up. Anyway unfortunately it’s about 1500 to fix her and, uh, I’m using the emergency card to pay it. Please don’t be mad. I’m going to pay you back every last cent, with interest if you want. I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up. Call me back. Bye.”

You hung up and groaned into the sky. This was just your luck. You wanted nothing but to leave and expand your horizons but something kept having you tethered here. Despite how nice and good you were to people, you always seemed to get the worst karma. While you were standing there feeling sorry for yourself Hal walked over to you.

“She’s all yours ma’am. My boys are just dustin’ her off for you.”

“Thank you Hal. I just need to go back inside and pay her off.”

“My pleasure ma’am. Be safe out there.”

He shook your hand and quickly walked off. You dug your wallet out of your backpack and walked back into the office. To your surprise Tom was standing in front of the man’s desk shaking his hand.

“Nice doing business with you kind sir.”

“Yeah whatever,” the man said handing him your car keys. He saw your confused expression and quickly pushed you out of the office.

“I have to, uh, pay him.”

“All taken care of Y/N,” he said pushing you toward your car.

“What are you talking about Tom? I can’t just leave without paying him.”

“It’s paid for,” he said using your key to open your trunk to set down your duffel bag.

“What do you- “

It instantly clicked in your head. Had he just paid 1500 dollars to get you your car back?

“Tom what the fuck?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you just pay 1500 dollars?”

“No.”

“Tom!”

“Not technically.”

“TOM WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Can you please get in the car and I’ll explain everything where 15 guys with heavy tools can’t hear us?”

You quickly climbed in the driver’s seat. Your heart felt like it was going to pop out of your chest and it felt like you were sweating bullets. You didn’t like owing people things, and you already felt like you owed Tom a lot for letting you crash at his place overnight; you didn’t want to owe him actual money at this point.

“I’ll pay it all back. We just need to go to an ATM so I can take the money out of my savings,” you said turning the car on.

“No Y/N it’s really not a problem. The guy was trying to scam you. While he was explaining everything you were essentially paying for, some things weren’t adding up. I know a thing or two about fixing and restoring old cars, and he was telling you about things that didn’t even exist. When you left to talk to your mom I asked to see the receipt and called his bluff. You really only owed him 650 dollars, so I decided to pay it off so you never had to look at that sleazebag again.”

You were trying to process everything he was saying, your head was spinning so much you had to pull over.

“Wait how did you know I left to call my mom?”

“The windows might have been open?”

You gave him a death glare.

“Okay look think of this as an investment. I could tell by the tone in your voice that you’re the kind of person who hates asking people for things, especially your mom. I figured you’d probably been saving up to move out of here for as long as you could remember and I didn’t want this to fuck it up. I’m investing into your future Y/N. I could feel the passion you had in your dreams from the way you talked about them last night in the pool, and I believe in you. I had the resources to help you, so I did. No strings attached. I just really didn’t want to see a bad thing happen to a good person.”

You sat there a second without saying anything, hands glued to your steering wheel.

“650 dollars is still a lot Tom. I can’t just accept that from anyone, especially someone who has already opened their home and risked their life to give me a place to crash. Let me pay you back, please?”

“Y/N I promise you you don’t need to.”

“Let me be your unofficial tour guide,” you said quickly.

“What?”

“Let me show you around, from the point-of-view of someone who knows this town like the back of my hand. Whenever I’m not working and you’re not busy I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go on an adventure.”

He looked at you and smiled.

“Deal. I was hoping this wouldn’t be the last time I would see you this summer.”

You pulled off the side of the road and began driving.

“Oh you and I are going to get real close this summer Tom. That’s my official Y/N promise, and I never break a promise.”

You took a quick glance at him and smiled, he gave you his signature goofy smile with a slight shade of pink in his cheeks. Your summer just got a lot more interesting.

Tag-list: @hollandlovely @greenarrowhead @justanotherfangirl2015 @oh-dear-tommy @marvelnerdxinfinity @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @hollandhugs @tiredofallthetroubles @marvel-ing-at-it-all @built4broadway

strikethrough means i cant tag you for some reason :(

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #164

BTVS 6x13 Dead Things

<<<<<<<TRIGGER WARNING FOR EVERYTHING THAT’S WRONG AND VILE IN THE WORLD>>>>>>>

Stray thoughts

1) FUCK THIS EPISODE.

2) “We missed the bed AGAIN” I wonder how many times that happened...

3) First, we were given a glimpse of semi-normal Spuffy. And it was nice and good. Of course, Spike was so giddy when he realized they were having a conversation that he had to go ahead and spoil it.

BUFFY: Is this a new rug?

SPIKE: Mm... no. Just looks different when you're under it.

BUFFY: You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.

SPIKE: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck..

BUFFY: I've been thinking about doing something to my room.

SPIKE: Yeah?

BUFFY: Yeah, I think the New Kids On The Block posters are starting to date me.

SPIKE: Well, if you want, I can... Are we having a conversation?

BUFFY: What? No! No. Maybe.

And he has to ruin it a second time for good measure.

SPIKE: You were amazing.

BUFFY: You got the job done yourself.

SPIKE: I was just trying to keep up. The things you do... the way you make it hurt in all the wrong places. I've never been with such an animal.

BUFFY: I'm not an animal.

SPIKE: You wanna see the bite marks?

BUFFY: You know, it's late, I should... get home before Dawn goes to sleep.

And even when Buffy admits to liking him, albeit sometimes, he needs to push her further by asking her to trust him. Of course, he’s talking about feelings and trust but he really doesn’t know what those things are. And it’s easy to tell because he then tries to rope her into trusting him by manipulating her with the only thing they seem to enjoy doing together - sex. 

SPIKE: What is this to you? This thing we have.

BUFFY: We don't have a... thing, we have... this. That's all.

SPIKE: Do you even like me?

BUFFY: Sometimes.

SPIKE: But you like what I do to you. Do you trust me?

BUFFY: Never.

4) And so the vileness begins...

WARREN: Gentlemen, the cerebral dampener... is online. And with this baby, we can make any woman we desire our willing sex slave.

WILLING SEX SLAVE

I can’t believe how awful this oxymoron is! He actually believed that by stripping women off of their consent, they would be willingly sleeping with them?

And don’t get me started with this...

He just wanted to rape his ex-girlfriend, okay? That’s all he wanted.

5) Okay, first of all, this is my BROTP.

Secondly, I love that Buffy turns to Tara for help. And I love what Buffy tells Tara about Willow. 

TARA: I knew this was gonna happen. What did Willow do now? Did she... she hurt anyone? BUFFY: Wha... uh, no, no, um... Tara, this isn't about Willow. TARA: I thought that's why you didn't want to meet at the house. BUFFY: Uh, sorry, it's, um... Willow's fine, she's been doing really well. You'd be proud of her.

I think this definitely helped thaw Tara’s reluctance to get back together with Willow. 

6) “I feel different. There are things... I think... maybe... I came back wrong.” This is very important for different reasons. On the one hand, we can see that Spike has gotten into her head and that she’s started to believe the things he’s been feeding her. On the other hand, this is Buffy desperately trying to find a supernatural explanation for why she can’t get over her depression and for her attraction to Spike. If the cause is supernatural, then she can find a way to fight it. The supernatural is fixable, it always has been. That’s why she desperately wanted this to be the case. Because if the cause wasn’t supernatural, then there truly was something wrong with her. And she didn’t know how to fix it. (hence, her breakdown...)

7) UGH UGH UGH!! I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!

ANDREW: We can really have anyone we want. JONATHAN: It's like candy. ANDREW: Juicy, pulsating candy.

They were actually having fun doing this! But I’ll get back to this later...

8) 

ANYA: You are looking a little pounded.

9) 

BUFFY: Where are you going? DAWN: I'm sleeping over at Janice's? BUFFY: And I'm falling for that again because of the surprise lobotomy? WILLOW: It's okay, I checked it out. Janice's mom is picking her up. BUFFY: Oh. DAWN: I didn't think you'd care. You're never home, so...

BUFFY: I know. I'm sorry. You know, but I, I'm here now. All visible and everything. Couldn't you just stay at Janice's another night?

DAWN: Her mom's cooking Mexican. She's gonna teach me how to make real tortillas. Not like I knew you'd be around.

The writers were trying really hard to sell the idea that the reason Buffy was abandoning Dawn was because of her sexcapades with Spike. But... A) she had a full-time job now, which sometimes required her to work DOUBLE SHIFTS as we saw in Doublemeat Palace, and B) Buffy’s other gig - slaying - required her to be out of her house at night. C) Dawn didn’t know Buffy was sleeping with Spike, so the guilt-trip is kind of uncalled for, considering Buffy was working two jobs, one of them to support both of them and keep their house. (And yes, I get that Dawn is a teenager but you can’t have her feeling sorry for Buffy because she’s doomed to work dead-end jobs one episode and then guilt-tripping her for the VERY SAME REASON...)

10) 

WARREN: I missed you so much. You never should have left me. Say it. KATRINA: I never should have left you, Master. WARREN: Tell me you love me. KATRINA: I love you, Master.

He claimed to miss her, yet he really wasn’t with the person he claimed to miss, he had to strip Katrina of everything that made her Katrina to have her. He was abusing the shell of the person he claimed to love and miss. I just wish I could set Warren on fire a thousand times.

11) I both hate and love this scene so much, and I’ll tell you why. 

WARREN: I just, I wanted us to be together! KATRINA: There is no us, Warren! Get that through your big meaty head! I am not your girlfriend anymore! JONATHAN: She's your ex? ANDREW: Dude, that is messed up. KATRINA: Oh, you think? You bunch of little boys, playing at being men. Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks!

I hate it for obvious reasons, okay? I don’t think there’s any need to explain that part. But what I love is the fact that the writers had Katrina call it for what it was. And I love the fact that it’s only after she does that that it dawns on Jonathan and Andrew the actual nature of what they were doing. It was all a game before that, the girls were candy for their picking. They didn’t think it was messed up to strip random girls of their consent. They didn’t know them, what was the harm? It’s only when they realize Warren knew Katrina that they start to think there’s something wrong with this. But they don’t really get it yet. They just think he’s a bit fucked up because he wants to screw with his ex-girlfriend. But when Katrina yells the word RAPE at them, they go silent. We? Rapists? That can’t be! We were just playing a game! We just wanted to have any girl we want! What’s wrong with that? I guess there wasn’t anything wrong with it as long as they didn’t call it by its name, you know? Because, like, would they have gone along with this scheme if Warren had told them: “we are going to use this device to RAPE women”? I don’t think so. That was literally what they were planning to do, but since they’re boys and they were playing and they thought they kinda deserved this, then there must be nothing wrong with it, right? (let’s not forget Jonathan had pretty much done the same thing in Superstar... and yet he was only now realizing it was wrong...)

So, the reason I love this scene is because the way they react sadly feels so real.

12) And then Warren kills Katrina.

And you can see it in their eyes. They’re beginning to understand this is no game, this is rape and murder and it’s wrong. You can see Andrew almost wanting to look away. This is not who they want to be. They want to be comic book villains, you know? And comic book villains are not rapists. So yeah, it’s kind of dawning on them that they’re the bad guys but like not in a cool way. And yet, they don’t challenge Warren. 

13) Warren is not wrong, though...

JONATHAN: What did you do? What the hell did you do?!

WARREN: We did this. Me, and Andrew, and you. It's on all of us.

14) 

JONATHAN: Oh, well that's it, man. We're screwed. WARREN: No, we just have to stay calm. JONATHAN: Tell that to your girlfriend! WARREN: Ex-girlfriend! JONATHAN: It doesn't matter! There's a link. You knew her, so there's a link. You don't think Buffy'll be able to put that together? That's what she does, she'll figure it out! ANDREW: It was an accident. Maybe if we turn ourselves in- WARREN: No. JONATHAN: He's right. If we go to the police now- WARREN: I'm not going to jail. JONATHAN: We can't hide this! Sooner or later, the Slayer's gonna find out she's dead.

I’m actually kind of surprised Andrew is the one who shows the most remorse in this scene. Jonathan seems to be primarily concerned with how this affects them. He’s not feeling sorry for Katrina, he just doesn’t want Buffy to kick their asses because of this. Andrew suggests turning themselves in, which is actually the only decent thing any of them did in this episode.

15) Ugh, and then the balcony scene...

SPIKE: You see, you try to be with them but you always end up in the dark... with me. What would they think of you if they found out all the things you've done? If they knew... who you really were?

BUFFY: Don't.

SPIKE: Stop me.

This is what I mean when I say that Spike used his previous insightfulness to manipulate Buffy by feeding her ideas that weren’t really true. Time and again, he had made comments and observations about Buffy and her friends that were eerily spot-on because he had the vantage point of the observer (and yes, he was insightful.) He had sort of proven to know her, to understand her. Now, he was taking advantage of that fact to manipulate Buffy and draw her away from her friends (the Scoobies definitely posed a threat to their relationship from Spike’s point of view.) And it worked because Buffy believed him. After all, he’d been right before about her, why would he be wrong now? 

16) Why was Willow wearing Dark!Willow’s jacket, though? Was this some sort of wardrobe foreshadowing?

17) 

TARA: No, I wouldn't... I was just looking for Buffy. WILLOW: Oh. Well, I haven't seen her since last night. She's not around much these days. We kinda miss her. TARA: I'm sure she feels the same way.

18) This moment was kinda hot, though. #sorrynotsorry

19) The scene in the woods is dark and twisted and awful but at the same time is hella trippy and I kinda love how it was shot.

20) 

WARREN: Nice job. She totally bought it.

JONATHAN: Yeah. Some of my best work.

ANDREW: What happens now?

JONATHAN: Well, the night's young. Gotta be some more girls we could kill.

I get that Jonathan was kinda feeling bad about the whole thing, but like, kinda feeling bad about raping and murdering a girl is sort of not good enough? What are you doing about it, Jonathan? I mean, other than being all bitchy about how evil your friends are and how awful what you all did is. 

21) Hear me out here, I get Dawn in this scene, but at the same time, I don’t.

BUFFY: There's something I have to do. I have to tell what I did. I have to go to the police. DAWN: The police? BUFFY: Dawnie, I have to. DAWN: But... what's going to happen? BUFFY: I don't know. DAWN: They'll take you away. Won't they. BUFFY: I'm sorry. DAWN: No, you're not. You're never here. You can't even stand to be around me. BUFFY: That is not true. DAWN: You don't want to be here with me. You didn't want to come back. I know that. You were happier where you were. You want to go away again. BUFFY: Dawn... DAWN: Then go! You're not really here anyway.

There were obviously other problems that came to the surface in this scene, things that had been bothering Dawn and which she had been keeping to herself. But Buffy had just confessed to having accidentally killed a person. We’re talking murder, okay? And Dawnie, sorry, I get that you miss your sister and she hasn’t been around and that she’s probably going to jail. But what’s right is right. Buffy had to turn herself in, there wasn’t any way around it. This wasn’t about Buffy not wanting to be around Dawn, this was about the fact that Buffy believed she had accidentally killed a person, and she had to make things right. 

22) Oh, Spike, you evil useless bloodsucking fiend!

BUFFY: What... did you do?!

SPIKE: What I had to. I went back and I took care of it. It doesn't matter now. No one will ever find her.

COP #1: (O.S.) Where'd they find her?

COP #2: The river. She washed up half a mile from the cemetery.

23) 

SPIKE: You're not going in there. BUFFY: I have to do this. Just let me go. SPIKE: I can't. I love you. BUFFY: No, you don't. SPIKE: You think I haven't tried not to?

A) This is very similar to what Buffy said to Angel in Surprise, though, quite appropriately, the roles are reversed...

B) At first glance, it seems as though Spike was trying to do the best for her, but if you really dig deeper, he was just trying to care for himself. He made a lot of good arguments, and he wasn’t that far off ( “Demons in the woods? Time going wonky?” “It was an accident” - with the things that had been happening in Life Serial and Gone Buffy should’ve known this wasn’t just an accident and that it was the trio playing with her...) But... I love you, hence your going to jail will inconvenience me. 

24) And this is pretty much what Faith told her once (when Faith was in the same situation she was now in, yet Buffy was choosing to do the exact opposite of what Faith did back then...)

SPIKE: You are not throwing your life away over this. BUFFY: It's not your choice. SPIKE: Why are you doing this to yourself? BUFFY: A girl is dead because of me. SPIKE: And how many people are alive because of you? How many have you saved? One dead girl doesn't tip the scale. BUFFY: That's all it is to you, isn't it? Just another body!

25) So it’s kind of fitting that Buffy has a meltdown like the one Faith had in Who Are You? - a meltdown motivated primarily by self-loathing, of course, because even though she was addressing Spike and beating him up, she was trying to hurt herself. (this is still abusive as shit, though.)

26) Andrew seems to have gotten over his guilty conscience rather quickly...

I wish this had been the point at which Jonathan made a heel face turn. He’s clearly not jumping in the “we got away with murder and we’re feeling awesome about it” wagon, but he’s not really doing anything about the whole thing either. 

27) And then this scene...

This is too sad to write about, and tbh, I’m emotionally exhausted. I don’t have any words left. All I have to say is that I love both Buffy and Tara so much. I love how understanding and supportive and non-judgemental Tara is. And I love how Buffy is finally able to open herself up to someone, to show how she really feels, even if all that she feels is sadness and heartbreak. 

ok brb gonna go have myself a good cry bye