#its a no to venting to anyone i know irl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moomoomooing · 11 months

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also i swear i will post eventually but after that week of consistent posting i hit artblock and have been promptly sent into an annoying bout of probably depression and anxiety?

ill be back eventually, im just unusually tired ALL the time and busy

#sorry for how often i vent or rant on here btw #i feel like i have no good outlets left where people want to listen or where im not bothering anyone #bc frankly im ignored on a discord server where its literally me and my two best friends #i dont like venting here too often as to not annoy yall #never will i vent again on my insta unless its petty but understandable complaints that hold no weight #and i dont wanna vent to my gf and offload stuff onto her #so much of this is just- not really fixable over online so uh #its a no to venting to anyone i know irl #you can pry my incredibly bad habit nailed into me of never crying in front of ppl from my cold dead hands 👍#the way i do not trust therapists in the slightest really doesnt help me either #anyways sorry to anyone who actually read this

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knoproblem · 11 days

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Maybe the fog’s here because I want it here.

Is that why I opened the windows?

Maybe I asked the fog to come…

-MAG170: Recollection

#furry art #anthro art #fursona #ink markings #vent art #avoiding tagging the show the lines are from bc the art has nothing to do with the podcast lmao #the rest of these tags are rambling you can stop reading now no worries !#it’s just getting gross outta my head and onto paper #I’m so bad at conversations and I know it’s my own fault but it feels isolating #I gotta get better at talking but I’m just afraid to reach out to people #no idea how to talk that isn’t infodumping #I just wanna talk about my OCs or my fandoms or just…. anything but feel like no one wants to hear that shit lmao #sometimes I feel like the people in my life would rather interact with anyone other than me lmao #I feel way better after drawing this out tho #bless the arts #i know i know i need to be the one to reach out more #and i know my anxiety stems from my parents hardcore ridiculing me whenever i talked to much #and my exes ignoring me at the drop of a hat for whatever new thing piqued them #but its hard to know that logically and get my brain to cooperate #and not think that I'm automatically annoying every person i speak to #although maybe it's also better because anyone who gets stuck in a room irl with me knows i don't shut up lmao #maybe its for the best i can never manage to do it in text

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the-gayest-sky-kid · 4 months

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aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

#im saying that as someone who IS aroace if this ends up in discourse territory somehow #sometimes i think it's some form of internalized arophobia and it probably is a little at least #but i just feel so wrong and lonely thinking about the future #because i love the idea of being in love (as one can tell) but i just don't love people like that #and aside from any other self worth and confidence issues involved in obtaining a partner it just seems unfair to them you know #that id never be able to love them in that way #before anyone says qpr i am WELL AWARE!!! but then we go back to the Other Issues #besides its so easy to find other aros online but irl nobody really understands #so its kinda hopeless #ive always wanted to get married and have kids of my own !!! like genuinely i love the idea of it #but i doubt id ever find someone who would like #want to be a secret 3rd thing with me and get platonically married and raise kids or smth #and then theres the whole thing about me probably not being a good parent or being able to even afford to have kids so like. GRGRRARARSRR #cant win #ive accepted the fact im gonna be alone but it doesn't make it any happier. it feels like theres something wrong with me you know #but on the other hand i love being aroace its such an integral part me??#and it makes me so happy to be apart of the community and to know its okay #that there are people who understand the Lack #and even in the specific ways i do!!!#so its like so. aughhghhghh #saying this feels like a betrayal because i know theres nothing wrong with not #finding love. i heavily criticize the idea that people need love in their life to be fulfilled.#i feel like im wrong on both ends. to want it AND not feel it #personal posts and stuff idk #cw vent #aethers rants #sorry to be a party pooper i think its getting a bit cloudy and its getting to me

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vse-kar-vem · 6 months

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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles

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nightfallsystem · 5 months

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u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity

#tw vent #tw suicide #ingnore this. btw. or dont i cant stop you lol #imsso close to cutitng off everyone i know so they can be happier i alreadyblocked a few people i knewnow ionly know one person irl #imf so glad she found other people so she'll be completely fine if i disappear out of her life her life sounds like its going great actuall #ruining my life ^_^#i dont want to talk to people but for their sake #IM GENUINELY SO FUCKING STUPID AND UPSETTING TO TALK TO .#does anyone even love me anymore #im probably doign this for my own selfish reasons #i dont go outside anymore for everyone else sake. so they dont have to see my ugly face. or deal with my awful speech #at least i can still draw.... only way i can mkae people happy..#im mean to myself more than anyone else is mean to me at htis point. why #im not even capable of becoming mentally well at hthis point. im a lost cause #tell me what you rlly think . just tell me to shut the fuck up. just call me annoying. whatever u say cant be worse than what i do to mysel #pleasee im just dragging u down and making u feel worse whenever u tlak to me DO YOU NOT REALISE IT #i dont want to feel better for myself i want to feel better so i can be useful to others #i fucking hate people but i love them a lot . i gues i just hate how i affect others. social outcast i guess

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kollector-of-stims · 10 months

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I CANT-

Just reorganized all my plushies and got into a SQUISHMALLOW PHASE and got together my ENTIRE COLLECTION AND CHANGED MY SLEEP AREA AND TOOK PICS-

THEN FOUND OUT THE COMPANY IS BAD IN WAYS I KNOW ARE BAD BUT DONT HAVE THE SPOONS TO LEARN ABOUT CAUSE I AVOID IRL ISSUES-

I guess me being into other plushies like Aurora and such is a better thing than I thought, but fr I JUST bought 2 new squishmallows EARLIER just to look on here for more wholesome stuff about them and then...

Well, guess cheaper alternatives and knock offs were the better option after all! My two knockoff bats make me happy knowing I didnt support jazwares! As for the official ones? Nah, not getting those irl anymore. So look at my collection now cause no more official ones from irl stores will join this group anymore~

Aurora is still my fave plushie brand 😁

#i admit im not knowledgeable on anything politics or war related cause i avoid irl issues to keep myself sane #so i have no research nor true knowledge so i technically have no room to argue any side #its pathetic i know but i dont wanna be depressed #i like to think that since i got these before knowing that i saved them from jazwares #but gosh bad companies are going to be unavoidable sometimes cause we live in a dystopia i hate to say #i wont judge anyone for not seeing this post #i hate people getting hurt but the real world is too much for my weak self #and i admire those that look into problems and have the energy to look deeper #just babbling #jazwares #forgive me but i was so ignorant and perform escapism #but HEY TBH IF THIS MAKES KNOCKOFFS AND SECONHANDS ACCEPTABLE THEN WIN WIN #isreal palastine #a topic im extremely ignorant about #tw israel #tw palestine #tw politics #tw war #boycott squishmallows #tw vent #this is all so overwhelming but im glad i learned #ask to tag #in case i need a specific tag #not stim

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acasternaut · 11 months

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i think i will maybe be single forever. but thats because i cant really imagine someone putting up with or even loving the things about me that i feel are annoying or abnormal. like.

oh yeah my boyfriend he only ever wants to watch one tv show and when we do watch it hes going to say the lines and talk through the whole episode about how he feels like the characters used to actually be friends and felt like more realistic bad people and not caricatures of themselves. he has talked about this exact topic every single other time we have watched this show. sometimes he'll show me youtube videos but he has to say all the words along with those too. what do i like about him? hes funny i guess

#i know i only feel like its annoying bc im the one doing it #but like. idk #i cant imagine many ppl out there would be cool with and not eventually annoyed by my need to recite the words along with the things i watch #my life isnt Worse by not dating anyone but idk id like someone to care about yknow #ig im embarrassed by the idea of being someones weird freak boyfriend in the bad way. i want to be someones cool weird freak bf #oh yeah my bf he only has a handful of irl friends but he does talk about his Tumblr Mutuals all the time. LIKE. NOBODY WANTS THAT.#i never really vent on here like this. not sure whats going on.

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tidal-chaos · 4 months

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the online system community sucks so bad lmao

#(not talking about any of my system friends/mutuals)#vent #vent post #free to interact/reblog whatever though #anyway it sucks because there isnt actually a cohesive community. it is so divided #there is so much infighting its actually fucking wild #and i wish i could say all the infighting is coming from kids who dont know any better but... its not #adult systems have been poisoned by the infighting too. and it never fucking matters #we arent even accomplishing anything #what. exactly. is the point #the syscourse is hell and its constant and it rarely changes anyones minds #not that it matters if anyones minds change or not because it DOESNT. FUCKING. MATTER.#you go into the system community and everyones just DUKING IT OUT WITH EACH OTHER #i genuinely dont fucking care what side of syscourse youre on #you have better things to fucking do!!!!!!#syscourse doesnt MEAN ANYTHING it is one of the most pointless and yet somehow the most dramatic and hateful debates on the internet #WHO FUCKING CARES.#please for the love of god direct your hate towards something else #this is the most dumb and meaningless thing to waste your energy on #none of this matters irl ever #anti syscourse #tw syscourse #anyway yeah if you're plural i am not going to ask questions because it is none of my fucking business and frankly it is nobody elses either #i am unlikely to ever post anything like this again just because i also have better things to do #but i wanted to get it off my chest #we used to engage in syscourse and it was so draining and got us harassed #and in the end we just realized that it is not worth the energy or the fucks to give #again if you say you are plural i will treat you as plural and thats it. i have shit to do man

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toastsnaffler · 5 months

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every morning I'm like wow.. birdsong and sunshine.....hm.. u know what. maybe there is hope in the world. and everything will be ok :3 and every evening I'm like I Hope A Meteorite Crashes Through My Window While I Sleep Hitting Me On The Head And Killing Me Instantly. and I switch between these multiple times throughout the day and alsosometimes they happen the other way round and theres no sense or reason or order or pattern just the labyrinth forever. yeah I'm good why do u ask

#girls will play videogames to chill out and then 10 minutes later will be hysterically crying in the bathroom brushing their teeth #i dont know whats wrong with me anymore i give up trying to figure it out. thats a lie i wish i could give up but my brain will never-#exit the ouroboros spiral of trying to figure it out bc SOMEone broke the switch for reptile brain pattern seeking activation #i dont even know how i feel right now im either fine or im going to start sobbing again #does anyone know when this ends its not fun anymore and i need to go to sleep :-(#vent post one million and one.......... im fine guys i just like to fantasise that someone i care about reads these and thinks yikes!#and doesnt even acknowledge it irl or do anything except put on performative sympathy when talking abt me to other ppl #bc theres nothing anyone can do and at its not their problem and thats ok i dont begrudge them for it ill keep ventposting forever anyway #but at least maybe a real person HAS read it. so how i feel does actually exist in a witnessable form somewhere. anyway goodnight #dont send me asks this is a VENT POST sorry and thank you okay bye #.vent

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rainerghost · 6 months

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Google didn't give me any answers to my question (womp womp) sooo...

Question.

What's it called when you start thinking a sentence but then you have to start over because you didn't "think it right"?

#i know that no ones gonna see this but eh #and like. its not that i lost my train of thought #the train of thought is still there #its just that it has to restart its thought journey #i know that this post probably makes 0 sense whatsoever but google isnt giving me answers and im not gonna talk to anyone irl about this #but yeah #vent #would this actually count as a vent post? eh. whatever.#also its been happening for quite a while (im pretty sure) but i started noticing it more often recently so. do with that what you will #also it didnt start off as thoughts. when i first noticed it it was (its kinda hard to explain it) more like #having to do this kinda “clicking” noise with my tounge? and i had to redo it whenever i did it #because my brain decided that i wasnt doing it “correctly”.#maybe the clicking thing isnt related to this but i think it is. also the clicking thing still affects me so. ye.#ALSO ANOTHER THING #usually when it happens its like. to the tune/rythm of a song (no song in particular just whatever song im thinking of at the moment) so ye.#thats weird.#oh and also it happens with blinking sometimes.#no clue if any of the things i said are related but ye. my brain is just very funky i guess.#idk its just kinda annoying whenever it happens.#also i CAN ignore the urges but it just feels kinda? wrong? for some reason?#not wrong as in morally wrong but like. wrong.#long post #actually more like long tags but eh

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sunshinereddie · 2 years

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i hate that my brain does this bc even if i am mutuals with someone i am convinced that they still find me annoying and that i am bothering them............ so many mutuals i want to be closer friends with..... but even if they are nothing but nice to me my brain still tells me that no they actually dont want to be friends with you stop trying so hard..... sigh

#VENT IGNORE #jsyk if we are mutuals there is a 90% chance that i think you don't like me #i am sorry #i am trying to break out of this mind set #i know its not healthy or productive or beneficial to anyone #i just dont have many friends irl so its difficult for me to imagine someone wanting to be my friend akhbfksjd #:'[#anyways #check out this reddie post ha ha ha

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climaxbattles · 9 months

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vent dont read (unless the curiousity consumes you i guess. if you know me personally it might suck)

i havent been able to leave the house since may and it seems like every day i get worse and worse

i just cant deal with anything i dont know why

i dont go outside, i cant be alone, i cant even eat too fast/slow or i just like completely freak out

i started therapy and this is the first time ive ever been hopeful about interacting with a therapist but i still kind of dread it every week. im not even sure its helping like maybe shorter sessions would be better but i use so much energy just getting through the day i cant communicate until its too late

i dont even understand what made this happen my only guess is that one of the medications i tried really messed me up (or i have a brain tumor or thyroid problem or something) because a few of them had really really terrible side effects and i almost had to go back to the hospital for the 3rd time in a year, but i dont get why im not getting better when i dont do anything and im not on those meds anymore.

and if it is physical i cant leave the house without panicking like. i dont know how else i would go anywhere to get it checked out unless it got so bad i had to call an ambulance again so they could lie me down and give me oxygen and turn all the lights off and hold my hand again but that also was like very traumatic so im afraid i would just completely break

my friend is over visiting and i havent seen her in forever bc she moved 4 hours away and i cant even bring myself to hang out with her because she brought her boyfriend and i already have problems talking to anyone but her even though i fucking live with her family and leech off them. so im just hiding in my room

i dont really talk to anyone much anymore and i dont even know if its Because i want to be left alone or if its something making me lonely/im upset about. it also kind of seems like people r moving on from me but that could be like entirely self inflicted bc one on one conversation terrified me even before and now i like have panic attacks if a breathe wrong let alone attempt something thats always scared me

i think like some of them maybe also have a seperate discord server i wasnt invited to. this happened literally months ago where i accidentally found out and its not really my business i guess. and i dont even rly know if its true or even used anymore

it just feels bad because i lost a friend of like 7 years and a friend i really related to but didnt know long because i took their side in multiple arguments and i dont regret the 2nd one but the first one kind of still sucks. the people i lost had a lot of their own problems that made them unpleasant but idk. the first person was kind of always open to talking to me even though we r both fucked up and wouldnt ignore me even when i sometimes would bc of my own problems

and then if there Is a second server thats kind of why the second person lost their shit. so its like Maybe they were right in a small way (they were completely fucked though they would like suicidebait randomly and ive never had any other friend do that so its still for the best i think)

it seems like i keep losing or pushing away good friends kind of. or maybe im bad at all friends idk. ive never enjoyed socializing so it seems like my fault probably

i honestly just wish i could get on food stamps and/or disability on top of medicaid but i think people are still insisting i can go back to the way i was before. idk if thats possible. i just want to be able to stop taking As much Directly from other people and maybe like. buy legos or a 3d printer or something. i dont have much to do in the house 24/7 and my computer is getting old. and i think the internet is making this all worse but thats like my only activity

im so tired

#sorry if u know me and think this might be about you #not trying to like vaguepost abt them though i just dont even know if its worth bringing up. and i cant even rly communicate #i forget if my irl friend has a tumblr #its not your fault i feel like this though if anyone does read this #i just feel like i keep saying the same things in vents to friends and i want to stop bothering tgem

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nishibai · 1 year

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an you wake up n start to cry!

#nishi vents.#because i wwill lose my shit if eeven one more person i know dies so please dont die. /lyr #dunno what thiss is aobut. but im just thinking you know #i was a therapist to my adult friend at the age of 10. i hhelsped her through sui thoughts. and i was 10.#this was quite a few yyears ago but yyou dont jjust forget thi sshit #she threatened to kkill hersefl. to a ten year old. over messaging. i fucokibg hate this i am not anyones therpeaist dont talk 2 me ever #and nnow its happening again. mmy irl firriend isnt eeating and my ooether friend caught thhekm throwing up their lunch at school.#and im scared for them but thheres nnothing i cn really do honestly. and its going to be my fault. again. i cant keep doing this #sui #tw sui #tw ed #alexis don't look #tell me if i should use anymore tags im just not ddoing goo dtoday #ask to tag

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garpond · 1 year

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literally all i am irl is something for people to make fun of LOL

#but then if you ask them to stop you get made fun of for asking them to stop making fun of you #literally everything about me is funny apparently! the way i just. exist. or even my pain or sadness. because im not a human being ig #i feel like i cant take myself seriously like i dont deserve that the way other people do #and i feel like i cant trust that anyone would want to get to know me on a serious level or that the people who i #am close to online would have ever gotten that close to me if they knew me irl #i feel like they wouldn't. i feel like they would've just made fun of me too #its not just my family either. school and work have proven that #i just really hate being me LOL thinking about how unworthy of respect i apparently am makes me want to die #like. genuinely. maybe they'd take me seriously then #personal #cw vent