#so the food I've had available to eat has NOT been helpful in the recovery process

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day 288, and Fierce has COLOR!!! It'll get shading tomorrow; there's a lot going on in that box in particular and I'm getting over a stomach bug of some sort so I don't have the concentration/will power to tackle it tonight @.@

[growandrecover]

My doctor told me that I have 1-5 years to live if I don’t recover from my ED. But I’m still scared to recover. Any suggestions on how I can start?

Hey, anon.

Let me start off by saying how sorry I am. I can't imagine how scary that must be. I'm rooting for you, and I truly hope you can recover and live a long, happy, and fulfilling life. I have faith in you, and the entire recovery community has your back. You can do this.

If you're able, I'd find a therapist or try to get into a treatment facility. You can certainly do things on your own, but the best option (if it's available to you) would be professional help. Treatment takes a while to get into, so if that's something you're able to afford, you should start doing research and look into that now. I know it's scary, but it'll save your life.

If those things aren't possible for you, don't worry, you can still get better.

First of all, you're going to need support. That can be anyone (who doesn't have the same perception of food that you do- no Ana buddies), and if you don't have anyone, I can help you if you'd like. Someone who can sit with you while you eat, either on the phone or physically, to both distract and encourage you to make sure you're eating. If you're having trouble, this person could redirect you or simply just listen.

The most effective start for me was challenging my fear foods. I've mentioned this one specific thing before, but it was the very beginning of me getting better. My therapist asked me if I could try to eat a few M&M's since I love sweet foods. I was completely opposed, but my mom had me start with 4. That seemed impossible, and I was terrified. How could I eat them? Didn't she know what they would do to me? But I remembered how much I missed my favorite foods, and facing your fears is one of the best ways to overcome them. I'm not going to lie, even though it was 4 M&M's, I was upset about it afterwards. This will likely be difficult for you, but keep in mind that there are millions of people who have been in your shoes and will continue to be in your shoes. They have recovered, and so can you.

I'd also recommend adding more food to whatever meals you're eating. If you're not eating three meals a day, suddenly jumping to that might be hard for you to maintain. If you eat one or two, maybe add a food group to whatever it is you've prepared. I'm assuming that you've probably cut out at least one food group, and if that's correct, try adding the least scary thing. So for example, if you don't eat fats, you could add cheese, nuts, avocados or whatever you feel like. If those are fear foods for you, maybe just eat more of your fear foods if you can. Eventually you can add another meal to your day, and another, until you're eating like most people.

Some people in my treatment group had to drink Ensure. It was an easy way to add calories to their daily intake without eating any extra. That might work better for you.

Just a heads up: Your body may not react well to this. I got stomach aches every time I ate, and had frequent headaches as well. There's also something called Refeeding Syndrome. I'd advise you to look into this before doing anything, as it's deadly. A big perk of having professional help would be them keeping an eye out for this. If you can't get professional help, you should talk to your doctor about it and how you can avoid it.

If you're someone who overexercises, uses (or abuses) laxatives, purges, or engages in similar activities, you need to cut down on that as much as you can bear. Maybe instead of exercising for your regular amount of time, you could reduce it to that amount of time a few times a week or just a little bit (I'm talking like 30 minutes or less) each day if you can't do the first one. If you use or abuse laxatives, tell your doctor immediately. I'm neither a psychological or medical expert, so I don't want to give you advice that could hurt you. The only thing I can say with certainty is to drink some Powerade or Gatorade (they have them in zero cals if you're afraid to drink stuff with cals) to replenish the electrolytes you're losing. I don't know that much about purging via vomiting, but try to limit how many times a day you do it.

If you're on any kind of pro-ed social media, get off of it asap. Watching shows or movies (or even reading books) that encourage them should be put on hold as well. If you have any pro-ed friends or family members, I'm not going to tell you to cut them off, but you need to set boundaries about what you talk about with them. If they don't understand that, then maybe you should reconsider the amount of time you spend with them. I'm not trying to be mean, I just know how difficult it is to have people in your life encouraging something that's horrible for you.

I really hope at least some of this was useful to you, anon. If you need to talk or have more questions feel free to send me a message or another ask.

What you're about to do is scary, and it's okay to be scared. But you're stronger than your ed and you can recover from it. I have the utmost faith in you. I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sending you so much love ♡

[mywonuderful]

Cafuné

anon request: Hi! Can I request for a scenario where hyunjae texted his s/o whining about how he's frustrated from practice because he's not satisfied so you decided to visit him to cheer him up? Thank you! pairing: idol!hyunjae x non idol!reader genre: fluff warnings: n/a a/n: this was inspired by the latest Kingdom: Legendary War episode and for those who haven't watched it yet, I won't mention any spoilers but just be sure to show your support to The Boyz as the final round is coming up!

main masterlist

oh please him and this pouty lips stoppp

"Why can't I get this move down?!" Hyunjae lets out a frustrated sigh, going back to the starting position before one of his members pressed play as he danced to the music. "What's wrong? You were dancing really well!" Changmin patted his back from behind but he didn't seem to take in his compliment as he clicked his tongue, turning to face the main dancer. "Could you go through this section again? I'm always a split second off from you guys." Changmin nodded as a few others joined where he went over the moves, giving them a thumbs up but Hyunjae still felt like something was off about his performance. As the rest of the members lingered around in the practice room, fooling around or cooling off, Hyunjae was dancing with his brows furrowed, sweat dripping down is forehead as he danced in repetition to only grumble every time.

"Hyung, forcing yourself to dance isn't going to do you any good. How about we just call it a day and head back home?" Eric suggested as the boys joined in agreement. "You guys can head out first. I'm going to practice a bit more before heading back." The boys left one by one before he was left alone in the dance room. He walked over to his bag to pick up his phone, checking to see how you were doing.

He lets out disappointed sigh, missing your presence but it couldn't be helped since neither of your schedules match up recently as the only communication between the two of you would either be messaging or video calls. Especially when his team being on Kingdom: Legendary War made it even harder for the two of you to even just have a phone call. Frowning, he sets his phone down and went back to dancing. No matter how many times he went over the moves, he was just never happy with the performance he gave out, getting more frustrated at himself.

-

Your boss actually let everyone off work early today after a week of an hectic yet successful promotional event. You were overjoyed by the fact that you could finally leave work early on such a beautiful day as you bid all your co-workers goodbye before heading to the elevators when you bumped into one of your friends. "Signing off early today?" She asked as you turned on your phone, seeing the text from your boyfriend. "Yeah, she wanted us to enjoy the start of the summer weather. Plus, after such a busy week with pulling all-nighters and promotions, I think it's very much needed for us to have some recovery time." The two of you laughed "Right, congratulations of the successful event! Employees from my department and I heard how you guys were working nonstop for it. I can say that the results were definitely worth it." You thank her as the elevator doors opened, as it was almost filled. You gestured her to take the empty spot for you pressed the button again, waiting for the next available lift. Your lips dropped as you read his messages, feeling helpless in your shoes since you couldn't do anything when an idea popped up in your head.

You sheepishly smiles as you entered the elevator, walking out your company building before heading over to a couple of restaurants, walking out for bags full of takeout.

-

After a long, repetitive and disappointing practice, Hyunjae headed back to the dorms, feeling restless and miserable about his lack progress as the performance day approaching closer and closer. He entered as his members asked for his suggestion on what he wanted to eat for dinner. "What do you want to eat tonight? We're going to order takeout." Younghoon waved his phone and asked his fellow member. The members were gathered in the living room, observing his actions before looking at each other, sensing that he wasn't at a happy mood. "Hyunjae, do you want us to order from your favorite chicken place?" Jacob kindly asked but he didn't bother answering as he went straight to his room, slamming the door behind before throwing his bag to go shower.

"He doesn't look like he's in a good mood." You spoke through the phone call after hearing a faint thud from his door. You originally called Younghoon to tell him your plan when he accidently placed you on speaker as all the members heard. The members were delighted by what you had in mind and decided on surprising Hyunjae as Younghoon would pretend to call a restaurant to see if he wanted anything in particular but actually had you on speaker as you remained silent when the plan didn't exactly go to plan. "Yeah he has been quite stressed over the choreography and upcoming performance. I can't blame him though, it is one of the hardest ones yet so he probably wants to do his best." Changmin added as your heart ached from not being able to be by his side. You told the boys that you're on the way to the dorm and keep it a secret from you boyfriend. Stopping by a few more stores, the bags around your hands starts to get heavy as your knuckles becomes white from holding so many boxes. You called a member down as you walked into their apartment, being greeted by their smile that you haven't seen in a while.

"It's been like years since I last saw you!" Eric runs to you as you struggled to walk straight from the amount of bags. "It truly feels like years." You laughed at his comment as helped you carry some of the bags. He peeked through, a huge smile forming on his face when he saw all the food that you bought. "It's a good thing you stopped by today. Hyunjae hyung has been having a rough time with practice." Eric spoke as the two of you stepped into the elevator. "I don't think I've ever seen him this frustrated before. He was practicing alone the other day and I heard him yell at himself when I was passing by..." Your heart dropped from hearing Eric's words. You bitterly smiled at him as he reassured that your boyfriend is trying his best to take care of his health and all but your heart couldn't settle. You arrived at the door when Eric told you to remain outside as he would get Hyunjae to open the door. You stood outside, nervous yet anxious from seeing your boyfriend for the first time in a while. You thought about what you would say when you saw him and how he would react.

"Takeout is delivered!" Eric yelled as he entered, rapid footsteps were heard as the members ran towards him whispering "Where's Y/N?" as he whispered back his plan. "HYUNJAE COME OUT AND EAT." Younghoon yelled from the living room as you giggled, hearing his voice from outside. "I'm not hungry." You pressed your ear to the door as you hear your lover's mumbled voice "We ordered chicken and it should be here any moment now!" Eric yelled as that was your cue to ring the doorbell, feeling your whole body shake from nervousness. "Hyunjae! Opened the door, your fried chicken is here." Sangyeon called as there was a short period of silence before you hear his door click opened. "Can't you guys open it? Why do I have to open it?" He snapped as the boys looked at him with a shocked expression before Sangyeon cleared his throat, trying to go with the plan. "U-Um, our fingers are all dirty? Just opened the door, we ordered from your favorite restaurant." His eyes lit up for a second before he groaned stomping his way to the doorway as your heart started racing, seconds away from seeing your boyfriend.

You eyes widen as the door slowly opened but stopped right enough for him to stick only his hand. He opened his hand, waiting for you to hand him the chicken when you reaching your hands into his, intertwining fingers before he retrieved his hand swinging the door opened. "What the f-" "Special delivery for the one and only Lee Jaehyun." You smiled, raising the bags in front of your face to hide your flushed cheeks. He took the bags from your hands before placing them down, pulling you into his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, almost taking your breathe away. "Oh my gosh, I missed you so much." He whispered as you blinked back the tears that were blurring your vision. You looked into the dorm, seeing the faces of the members as some where happily munching and others had their phones out, capturing the sweet moment.

-

"I thought you said you weren't hungry." you mocked Hyunjae's voice from earlier as he picked up another chicken leg, shyly smiling as he bit into it. You sat with the boys as they all thank you for the food that you bought. "You guys must've been too busy to even eat your meals so I decided to stop by with some food for you guys." smiling, you looked around as all the boys where eating their hearts away. You felt a little sad that they were so busy with the upcoming competition but you knew that it's what they loved to do. You glanced over at your boyfriend, as he rested his head on your shoulder, letting out a content sigh. "Wow, I think this is the happiest I've felt in a while. I have you guys, chicken and Y/N all in one room.... This must be pure happiness." he spoke out loud before everyone broke into laughter. After everyone was finished eating, they all went on to do their own activities as you and Hyunjae headed into his room. Once he opened the door, the scent of his cologne travelled to your nose as you let out a delighted sigh

"Wow, it's been a minute since I've been here." You looked around his room. Even though nothing has changed since your last visit, you felt yourself reminiscing that moment. You looked over at your boyfriend who as lying on his bed as he patted the spot next to him, telling you to join him. "It's been a minute since I saw my gorgeous girlfriend." He stated as your sat beside him, legs crossed as he plotted himself up with the support of his elbows. You surveyed your boyfriend as you noticed his eyebags were getting dark, his appearance looking tired, overworked and stressed as you felt your eyes watering. "Why are you crying my love?" His eyes widen as tears fell from you eyes. He sat up, hands on either side of your face as he brushed the tears with his thumbs, giving you a worried look. You shook your head before pulling him into a hug, him stroking your back. "I'm such a horrible girlfriend." You felt his movements come to a halt at your words as he broke the hug, you avoiding his eyes. "Why would you ever tell yourself that?" His voice full of love and concern only made you want to breakdown in front of him even more but you held back, wiping away the tears. "I couldn't by your side when times where difficult for you. I couldn't comfort you when you needed someone the most." You explained as he slightly frowned, hurt by your words.

"That's not true at all." He brushed the hairs at of your face as you looked up at him, eyes red and puffy. "You're the energy when I'm low and my light in my darkness. You may not know it but just the thought of you gave me the motivation, the encouragement and inspiration to strive and work harder" He smiled as you couldn't help but to do the same. "I know with both of our schedules it's hard to make time for each other but that doesn't stop me from thinking about you, missing you yet supporting you from afar because I know you do the same." He went on as you suddenly laughed, catching him off guard. "I came here today to comfort you... Why does it feel like the opposite." He laughed before he laid down on your crossed legs, hands playing with yours. "Didn't you tell me your boss wouldn't let you guys off work?" He asked as you caressed his face. "She let us off early today as a little celebration for the successful promotion and to enjoy the start of the summer weather." He narrowed his eyes at you, realizing that you were lying at him through text. "Congratulations on the event, it must've been stressful for you and your team to handle everything. I'm so proud of you." You cheeks tinted at his sudden praise as he hand touched your face, feeling the warmth of your blush. "I decided to surprise you since you were having a hard time." He hummed, closing his eyes.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a hard time. All the members are doing so well during practice but I can't seem to follow up to them. It's like something was off or missing of me whenever I practice with them. I just want to do the best in my part so it'll be perfect for the team, you know?" He let out his thoughts as you nodded attentively. "Were you able to find what was missing?" You asked as he opened his eyes meeting yours as the direct contact made your heart skip a beat. "Hmm... I'm not sure but I guess it has been getting better compared to a few days ago. But today, it was just so frustrating. I was screaming and yelling at myself because I couldn't find out what was wrong." He pouted as you let out an "aw," sympathizing with him. "I'm so sorry, babe. If there's ever anything I can do for you, you know I'll always be there for you no matter what time of day it is right?" You ruffled his hair as he grinned, his eyes hinting that he had something up his sleeves. "I think I'm losing hair." He suddenly confessed as your jaw dropped, hands going through his hair as he laid on your legs, examining. "I think I pulled out a lot of hair from today's irritating practice." He whined as he rubbed his head, you cooing as you ran your fingers through his hair. "Could you massage my head for me?" he shyly asked, you giggling at his request "Anything for my mirae"

He let out a hum as you continued, seeing how relaxed he was. The faint music playing from his laptop along with his steady breath made you feel at home with your boyfriend who you could finally embrace. You fingers ran through the hair of his, as a smile would form on his face time to time, making your lips curve up into a grin.

"I think I finally found what I was missing." He broke the silence, eyes glancing up to yours as you stared into his big, bright orbits. "That's great. What was it?" You hummed in response, fingers still slowly working through his hair. "You."

cafuné (n): running your fingers through the hair of someone you love

[katierosefun]

I’m baaaaaaaackkkk! Once I finally got through all my ✨medical problems✨ (I’m a specialty cuz they couldn’t figure out what it was) I went home and was pretty depressed bc I had to quit my awesome seasonal job earlier than planned and move back home and but for my birthday my parents adopted two kitties and that helped me so much! I named them Loki and Bucky! But then I got covid (and even lost my taste AND smell 😭 my mom is an amazing cook and loves spices and flavors so it was so horrible to eat the food and it being like a family who dont use spices) and it went through my family so when I was out I was so sick I didn’t even want to watch stuff but than once I was healthy enough but still sick I finally started watching my kdramas again (I started rewatching Goblin)!

I finally finished ‘Weightlifting Fairy, Kim Bok-joo’ and I enjoyed it so much! The only problem I had was them using skinny actors when they could’ve used plus size actors! And how they used baggy clothing to make them look bigger. It was kinda annoying when I’m sure there are plenty of plus size actors that would’ve been great at that show! Also when they were lifting the weights it was really hard to take it serious when they were obviously fake or light. But that’s just me being nit picky.

It was such a different storyline not a lot of action but it was so nice to see family and the aunt and uncle basically adopting their nephew and him calling them mom and dad. Also Bok-joo and her relationship with her father was really nice to see. And I craved fried chicken every time they showed them at the restaurant. It was really nice show to watch when you’re sick and don’t have to worry about a major storyline to follow. I loved how she went to a weight loss dr just bc he was cute 😅 it was also fun to see the dr and his brothers relationship. Definitely fun to watch and the whole weightlifting team was hilarious. And I also enjoyed the roommates storyline that was cool tho she was a real bitch at first but her character definitely turned around at the end. I loved the two main characters and their relationship it was so cuteee! I give this a 7/10 just because of what my problems where above. If those two main problems it would definitely be a 9/10.

I also finished Vincenzo! That was really good show I enjoyed that but I also watched it when I was coming out of brain fog so I really don’t remember much 😅 but I do remember when V’s mom died and he went crazy and that was SO sexy! Also the entire apartment family where so funny and hilarious. Definitely recommend this one 9/10 (a LOT of violence)

I’m baaaaack and I’m so happy!

oh wow, i'm so sorry about everything that's happened--that all sounds like quite a lot, but i'm glad you're hopefully on the road to recovery? (and being at home and having cats! that's exciting and sounds like a brighter spot.)

ha, i also love the enthusiasm for the kdramas you watched! i remember how cute weightlifting fairy was (and i absolutely agree, i know that the main actress lee sung kyung gained some weight for the role, but like...? i wish they chose a plus-size actress for the role. definitely a huge critique i have of the entertainment industry especially in korea is how there's not a whole ton of body size diversity, which ://// but! yes, the family, friendship, and whole college/school love themes are very cute, even if i also wish that there was more diversity in body size. it was such a good drama to showcase that too, given that like? weightlifting?? sports??? but :///).

and oh, vincenzo! i still need to watch it, but song joong ki is such a great actor (i recommend one of his earlier kdramas, sungkyunkwan scandal...he's not the lead in that show, but it remains one of my favorite roles of his. also, his character likes guys), and i've def. been curious about jeon yeo been's works too (i heard she was in the kdrama save me, which is another hit available on netflix, although i've heard it's very dark).

glad you're enjoying yourself!

[weabbynormalblog]

We are what we think and eat Challenge ~ make better choices or try something new.

Finally got to my family doctor. Man what a sucky wake up call, very high blood pressure is serious stuff. So no more caffeine, one of the last dark horses and more exercise needed, still on my journey to better health. I will doge this bullet as well hopefully. First no more coffee thats a given. Ive knocked that habit before. I can surly taper back to 1 or 2 cups. Then herbal tea, juice, water from then on maybe a tea after dinner or b4 bed.

Instead of 30 minute work outs Im adopting small exercise breaks through out the day for 5-7 minutes. Its Quarentine after all. I need to stay in shape, that means walking, swimming and some kind of aerobic work. My ankles and knees are complaining so instead of walking I must get creative.Theres no swimming right now. I do have a mini indoor bike and tension elastics. I guess its time to get into more of it but in a different way. There's only up to go, really. Someone told me the reason I'm on my own right now, is because I can do it on my own. If you find yourself alone know that you can help yourself. You can take control and make a difference. We all feel powerless at some point or another on our trip. I do know how to get into good health and its worked for me so far. I know its by supporting all the parts of me that my journey will be most enjoyable.

Exercise now benefits future better moods. Platies are great low impact exercises designed to strengthen your core. Your on your side back front etc. Do what you can. Sets of 8 and start slow and work your way up. Yoga too is so beneficial. I have my go to moves that are just for my current physical state. Its considered Adaptive Yoga. Thats the beauty of it, you can be in almost any state of health and still do yoga and it keeps you flexible as well as works with different breathing and stress management technics. Good for your lungs and overall health.

Low physical strength, enjoy the various recovery posses. The misconception about yoga is that you need to be able to stand on your head to be good at it. Myth busted. So far from actual truth. Yes yoga does require practice even when using the recovery positions. You need to go at your own skill level and pace. The last 6 months or so exercising has been difficult since one of my wipe outs. Now under investigation by my Familly Physician. Still now knowing about the high blood pressure it makes sense. No more salt either. Small sacrifices in the name of longevity and good health. More meditation to have more calm to offset all that cortisol being released in my injured brain. I feel like my personal alarms are are going off 24/7. Always superstressed out. Yes I've had a lot of improvements with mindfulness training however under severe duress its really rough. I was triggered oh max by a health questionaire about Covid was in order to see my doctor. Sometimes I still need my safe space no joke. Often when knee jerk reactions happen its very difficult to hold all that water back. I've been offered a 24h slow release mood suppressant, Im always wary of new medication. I always rather try the homeopathy solution first.

We are what we think and eat. I have to remind myself of that every once in a while too. I'm not powerless. I can improve my health. Better food choices, no fat too or rather, leaner choices. That is one area where I can still improve. Less meat fat will be easy. Half the same amount of protein will now come from plants. I think I will take cues from none traditional Canadian customs. The biggest meal on our Continent is dinner, when we are usually least active. My biggest meal with be mid day. It will be comprised of all the necessary food groups based on availability and nutritional needs. Dinner will be soup, bread salad type kinda meals. Mutually beneficial. Sometimes during Quarentine I'm able to get Mangos for example. What a treat, nutrient rich from the other side of the Globe. Finding local and fresh produce can be difficult in the winter. Being under this Pandemic really puts all of us to the test. I've really come to appreciate local produce as well as imported. We are capable and we are not alone. Hang in there💚 When in doubt keep at whats working

[scripttorture]

CULT WIP Hi there~! So I'm working on a cult WIP and I know a common way to control people in a cult is sleep deprivation. I've looked through your sleep related tags and the cult one, but right now I'm wondering about the long con of sleep deprivation. My idea is that to keep people controlled they get less sleep than they should (your posts have made me up it from three hours per night to five per night) and the higher ups in the cult are allowed the full amount of sleep they need; (1/2)

CULT WIP (2/3) that way they operate better than others. I've jotted down a bunch of effects you've brought up but here's the thing. What if that sleep deprivation lasts forever? Like it's just a normal part of life once you hit adulthood? (I don't think kids could withstand it so I figured just not to do it). I know the Heaven's Gate cult used a lot of sleep deprivation and they lasted for ~three years so there must be some way to/balance to keep people functional, I just can't think of how.CULT WIP (3/3) Not actually part of the question but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for this blog!! It's fascinating, especially for me since I'm in grad school to be a therapist so that aspect is really interesting, and you put an incredible amount of work into all this. ~Jessica

Thankyou, it’s always nice to hear I’ve been helpful. :)

I’mgoing to go into this one with the caveat that so far as I know, noone has done this experiment. There isn’t a studied group of peoplewho have been restricted (or restricted themselves) to five hours ofsleep a night every day for their entire adult life. There are peoplewho’ve done this for a number of years and people who do this 5-6nights a week and then sleep more on the weekend for decades at atime. Now all three situations are bad for someone, but a thoroughstatistical analysis on a decent sample size might show differencesbetween them.

Sopart of this is what we know happens to the first two groups and partof it is extrapolating based on that.

Thefirst thing we knowhappens (based on the two studied groups) is a shorter, unhealthierlife.

Ihesitate to put a figure on how much shorter because it seems to varyquite a bit between individuals and I don’t know of any statisticalstudies that have put a number on it. But I think you can safely takeat least ten years off every character’s life expectancy based onthis alone.

Therates of a lotof different diseases and conditions increase. Cancer rates rise, formultiple forms of cancer. Rates of strokes and heart attacks rise.Dementia rates rise.

Nowall of those conditions are usually diseases of age. You canhave a heart attack or a cancer diagnosis as a young person, but thechances of it happening are much more likely after you hit about40-50.Lack of sleep doesn’t seem to effect the age these conditionsmanifest. It doeseffect the chances of them happening in vulnerable ages though.

Essentiallyif you take a group of 40-50 year old non-cultists from your valleysetting (I hope you don’t mind me looking at your blog? Lovelypictures by the way) less of them will have or have had cancer,strokes, heart attacks and early signs of dementia. As the populationages further the gap will become starker. Less of the cultists willsurvive to their 70-80s and those that do will be less healthy thenthe non-cultists.

Diabetesrates also increase with lack of sleep. This doesn’t appear to beage related. It is however unclear whether it’s because of theeffect lack of sleep has on the immune system or because of theeffect it has on our appetites. People who sleep less eat more andtheir bodies drive them towards more high fat and high sugar foods.

Idon’t understand the link between weight and diabetes very well, soI’m not going to talk about it in any depth. The general point I’mdriving at is that if your cult tightly controls diet that mightcounteract the rise in predisposition to diabetes. But the data isn’tentirely clear on that point.

There’salso a general rise in illness and infections. That contributes todecreased life expectancy but also means more sick days. Less timewhen any one individual can productively work.

Partof what this is gearing towards is this: I’m not sure it would bepossible to consistently keep someone on five hours sleep a nightonly for their entire life without a huge death rate.

It’sthe illnesses. I think if cult members were denied sleep while sick(especially if they’re also forced to work or their diet iscontrolled) then- well I think there’d be a lot more people dyingfrom common, preventable illnesses. Not instantly. Not within thefirst decade. But in the longer term or thirty or so years.

Onthe other hand if the cultists who are ill aregetting enough sleep then you don’t strictly have five hours sleepa night for the rest of their lives. What you’ve got instead issomething more like ‘five hours sleep a night until you reachphysical collapse, then you can rest’.

That’sextremely unhealthy, painful and harmful. But it’s less likely tokill so many people so quickly.

Partof the issue is how ‘functional’ the characters need to be. Atfive hours, it would be dangerous to drive or operate other heavymachinery. Accidents would be more likely. Mistakes would be morelikely.

Butthat doesn’t mean these characters couldn’t do most of the day today tasks required to keep a small community going.

It’snot that the cooking couldn’t get done, it’s that the chances ofdropping a pan full of boiling water on someone’s foot is a lothigher. Less that complex tasks can’t get done and more that they’dtake longer, be completed less well, less effectively and there’dbe a higher chance of accidents on the way.

Incidentallyif a big part of this story is the standard tactic of elite membersof the group making other members feel less confident in themselves-usethis effect of sleep deprivation to help accomplish that.Because people who are sleep deprived thinkthey are physically and mentally capable of more than they are.

Youcan sit them down and say ‘Listen S, the low amount of work you’vegotten through this month is unacceptable. We agreed that you couldfinish this project in a week and it’s taken two. You’re just nottrying hard enough’

Andtheywill agree.Because they don’t know how impaired they are. It’sone of the stranger effects that consistently shows up in testing andI feel like it’s very relevant here.

Theincrease in workplace accidents is also affected by the decrease inimmune function. Accidents are more likely andrecovery from them takes longer.

Theother thing that stands out to me is the effect this would have onthe living environment generally.

Sleepdeprived people are emotionally volatile. They also tend towardsbeing distrustful of others and paranoia. Again this isn’tsomething they necessarily recognise.

Whichmakes for a pretty horrendous environment when you think about alarge group of people living in fairly close quarters andunable to really avoid each other.

Thinkabout how this meshes with the rise in accidents, forgetfulness andgeneral tiredness that go along with sleep deprivation and you’llsee what I mean. Someone drops the hot pan and it just misses someoneelse’s foot- was it deliberate? Someone forgets where they putsomething- obviously it was stolen. There was a stray shoe left outin the hall and a character almost tripped over it- clearly whoeverleft it there knew thatcharacter could/would trip.

Andso forth.

Fromthe point of view of your cult leaders this sort of misery andemotional upheaval is a positive. It makes it harder for people toorganise or relate in an authentic way to each other in the longterm. It couldmake it especially hard for parents and children to keep up apositive relationship, comparedto the relationship the children could have with the cult leaders.

Becausethe parents will always be too tired, too grumpy, too unpredictable,to relate well to a young child. Whereas the well rested cult leaderscould appear calmer, kinder andseem to have more time.

There’svariation within all of this obviously. Despite damagingcircumstances some people do live to a ripe old age and don’tdevelop cancer more than ‘normal’ people would (chemistryprofessors over 80 are an interesting breed). Some people may stillbe able to show some patience and kindness despite the effects sleepdeprivation has on emotional regulation.

Moneyand treatment can also extend the life of someone who is routinelysleep deprived and suffers from multiple health problems as a result.

Ifyou’ve read my previous posts then I think you’ll have an idea ofindividual symptoms and how they get progressively worse. A lot ofthis ask was me- not just trying to map out what the indefinite timeframe you have would look like but the effect it would have on agroup and the relationships within that group.

Ihope that helps. :)

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