#so this is one night where their insomnia is keeping them awake and they’re back at the point they can talk again

[sodafizzyart]

Meant to draw something more explicit but I couldn’t get through the exposition

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: scars / permanent injuries / chronic pain / ]

Leo’s shell gets some permanent cracks in it due to the Krang, and as a result his shell’s pattern is all messed up.

He makes a fuss about it in a lightheartedly vain way, but it’s clear that it bothers him, more than just the chronic pain that comes with it.

The one who breaks about the cracks isn’t Leo in the end, it’s Mikey.

It’s a night where Leo can’t sleep, insomnia and the remnants of a fit pulsing through his shell keeping him awake. When making the rounds to check up on everything, he sees Mikey, crouched over some old crayon drawings, drawings that were only salvaged by some miracle.

Mikey always loved matching with his “cool blue bro” growing up. Their shell designs were something they had in common, different from the spines/spikes that their other brothers had. It felt good to share that with Leo.

To Mikey, seeing that pattern tarnished felt a little too much like their home getting destroyed. Worse, even. The two of them are complementary colors, it hits harder when things disrupt that.

And Mikey admits this to Leo, on this day where emotion kept mounting up in him until he couldn’t help but break a little. It feels selfish to say, but it’s the truth. It’s a visual that’ll constantly haunt Mikey, knowing what the cracks represent, knowing how they lost something that was just theirs to share.

Drawing Mikey to him, a hand on Mikey’s intact shell pattern, Leo admits that that’s what kills him the most too. He can deal with the pain, he can deal with the appearance, but he can’t deal with no longer seeing himself in the crayon drawings they managed to salvage from their past. Drawings that highlight their shell patterns, because Mikey always had a lot of fun drawing those.

He always loved what they decided they represented.

———

“Like links of a chain!” Little Mikey had called them as he scribbled them down in oranges and blues.

“Of course it’s like chains!” Little Leo nodded, having never noticed that before, “It, like, shows how we’re- how we’re always connected!”

Little Mikey had gasped at that, stars in his eyes as he babbled endlessly about how that meant they’re the chains holding the family together, right?

“Raphie and Donnie don’t have chains on their shells, so we gotta step up to keep everyone together!” Little Mikey said as he drew big circles around his drawings of their family, overlapping circles of orange and blue around everyone.

“Yeah! And if anyone gets lost, we’ll bring them back!” Little Leo boasted with a laugh, “No one has to be alone, we’ll make sure of it!”

“We’ll make sure of it!” Little Mikey echoed with a happy giggle.

———

‘You sure made sure of it, Mikey.’ Leo thinks, continuing to run his hand comfortingly down Mikey’s shell.

Then a thought hits him.

“Well, we got something better than just shell patterns in common now!” Leo starts, waiting until Mikey looks up to continue, “We got portals, little brother!” He grins, “And y’know, I think you’ve done a great job keeping us all together, Miguel. Sorry you had to pick up my slack.”

Mikey looks two steps away from sobbing at that, but his smile is wide, “You just got lost, of course I had to bring you back.” He leans back, out of Leo’s hold, and looks his big brother in the eyes, “That’s what we said- Raphie and Donnie don’t have portals…”

“-So we gotta step up-“ Leo continues.

“-To keep everyone together!” The finish simultaneously, laughing a little at the juvenile words.

A wry smile crosses Leo’s face, “Again, sorry I’ve been dropping the ball there. Feels like I did a lot of the opposite instead.”

He yelps as Mikey swiftly smacks him on the head.

“Nuh uh uh, none of that!” Mikey puffs out his chest, “I’ll have no slander toward my fellow portal pal!”

“Alright, alright…”

It’s not a fix to anything, more of a new way of looking at a change. Bringing that change into their lives as something familiar.

The cracks in Leo’s shell remain, and the cracks in Mikey’s hands scar over, but their family stays together all the same.

They gotta make sure of it, after all!

[nerdieforpedro]

The Lake Between Us - Part One

The Nurse who's frayed at the seams

Ezra AU x plus size OFC (Nickname Moonbeam - has a name in later parts)

This fic is for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 868

Warnings: insomnia, alcohol use, anxiety, mutual voyeurism, brief mentions of death, cancer and post-mortem care

Notes: My first series with Ezra! It's been fun writing this and therapeutic for me. I envision the setting to be on a bayou in Louisiana with the weeping willows and slow waters. Plus I wanted Ezra to have an air boat. ☺️ I'm not sorry for anything.

Main Masterlist / Ezra Masterlist / The Lake Between Us Series

It’s fine during the day, the rapid fire and thinking quickly on your feet. It’s what makes you good at what you do. Able to keep so many details straight while answering questions about six patients and more if you’re keeping an eye out on another nurse’s assignment while they’re at lunch.

It’s why it bothers you so much. You’ve taken your medications. Stopped looking at your phone an hour before bed. The room was pitch black before bed and the white noise machine was going. You even took your shower earlier than normal because apparently a nice warm shower doesn’t promote sleep according to the experts. You personally found warm water relaxing, isn’t that why tea is good before bed?

One of them needs to come to your house and see why you’re not sleeping.

It’s three a.m. You’ve at least gotten five hours of sleep. Enough to function. You’re awake in this darkness though and you’re well acquainted with it. There’s one thing you can do that will at least relax you now. You’ve done it the last few weeks despite all these changes to your sleep hygiene and routine. 

Your legs are over the side of the bed and carry you to your back door where your yellow crocs are. It’s off the back of the kitchen so you grab some rum and mango juice. A chair you bought when you went to an antiques show with some friends sits on your back porch and you plop down. It rocks and that helps your nerves slightly. Your large thighs press into the sides of the rocking chair but not painfully. The periwinkle sleep shorts you have are matched by the camisole that has bunched up at the bottom exposing the pooch of your stomach.

The crickets are loud and there are even some lightning bugs about dotting around the tall grass that surrounds the lake in the middle of your backyard. The lake is connected to an estuary that your neighbor across the way often drives his airboat off in. Thankfully the water is at least slow moving to it only attracts but so many bugs, but that’s also why you’ve taken to lighting a lavender eucalyptus candle when you come outside on the porch. Ironic considering the very same scent that keeps various insects away is supposed to lull you to sleep and it does not. You’ve never met the man. Only seen him on his back porch.

You know very little about him, not even his name. He’s at least your age, if not older. Tall and broad with sun-kissed skin from working during the daylight hours you assume or it could be his natural skin tone. His hair is brown except for a gray or blonde patch in the front. From what you’ve seen, he has a patchy beard that could have gray or more blonde and a wicked smile. It’s then that he emerges from his abode the same as you. He has something to drink as well. Usually he’s wearing a t-shirt or tank top but it’s balmy this morning so he’s shirtless in some loose shorts. You’re not sure if they’re for sleep or lounging. There looks to be some definition to his chest as he takes in the night air. He looks up after pouring himself a glass of something that might be brown, it’s hard to see from here and it’s dark. The man’s limbs are weighted down like yours are. Could his thoughts be running a mile a minute as well? What would lead him to be on his porch too? Is he alone like you? Shouldn’t he have someone warming his bed? Given how he looks from here, he shouldn’t have any issue in that department. Maybe it’s by choice, but why would he choose to? Divorced? Separated? Recent break-up? Maybe a fight with someone and they’re letting each other stew…

Planning different scenarios for the day, reviewing what you’ve seen, the care you’ve provided the people you encountered. Today you discharged a patient home, consulted one where the doctor sort of explained that they have cancer but it didn’t really sink in and assisted with post-mortem care because you were the nurse with the most experience on the unit. The rest were new grads, bless them but they really needed to remove teaching care plans and expand on communication, psych and discussions with biases surrounding death. Maybe you should email the state board, do they even check their email? They had to, right? They’re a government body, but are they gonna do anything with it? Your mind has spun again in that short time. 

The lack of restful sleep is having the same encumbering effect on the pair of you. Fatigued bodies to match your brains. 

His glass raises and he nods in your direction. You do the same. Then you both drain your glasses and refill them. No words are exchanged. The sounds of water, insects, and a light breeze fill the void where speech would be. Normally these sounds are what lull most people to sleep in Louisiana, but not you nor him.

A toast to another night of sleep lost.

Part Two

[devils-little-sista]

This is just me kinda projecting my sleeping habits onto Nico don’t mind me

Nico goes through a cycle of three different periods where he doesn’t sleep at all for a while and then he sleeps 24/7 for a while and then it kinda evens out but it’s backwards like he sleeps for most of the day and is awake all night and if he has things to do during those days he will take naps in between doing things. And the cycle rinses and repeats.

Sometimes there are triggers for these insomnia and depression nap episodes and sometimes Nico has no idea what the trigger was and he thinks maybe it just happens naturally sometimes.

I think it started when he came to camp halfblood in the titans curse. The question is: I’m not sure if it started with full on insomnia or his circadian rythum going topsey turvey. He mention somewhere in TTC that he doesn’t sleep well at camp. Could mean insomnia or turning nocturnal. The trigger was the big change in his life of being a demigod and crushing on Percy and Bianca leaving him and dying. Has an insomnia episode right after he runs away for sure the trigger being Bianca dying.

And in the battle of the labyrinth I think he’s mostly having a big long insomnia episode. Except for that one time he was chillin at that ranch house with the older son of Ares what was his name *reads writing on hand* Eurytion. And Nico came out the house with a giant robe on that was the only time he had slept in battle of the labyrinth he probably slept for like 2 days straight depression nap and then went right back into an insomnia episode. The trigger for this episode: Minos and trying to bring Bianca back and the labyrinth and Minos driving him a little insane

And then in the last Olympian I think he started out going through that backwards circadian rhythm cycle. He’s mostly sleeping during the day and up all night. But he’s got stuff to do during the day now he’s gotta help Percy get the Styx curse in the underworld. He’s very tired throughout the whole visiting May Castellan ordeal. And after the underworld incident he just kinda has to force himself into an insomnia episode so that he can convince Hades and Persephone and Demeter to fight in battle of manhattan.

And for the weeks after where he stays at camp he just takes little cat naps during the day and up all night. Despite him actually trying his hardest to sleep at night and be normal it just doesn’t work he eventually gives up

And then in son of Neptune he’s definitely in the midst of an insomnia episode. Just the way he acts throughout this book is borderline manic (maybe actually manic). He doesn’t sleep at all in Tartarus. When they put him in the jar he has to force himself into depression nap even tho him and his body want sleep deprived manic insomnia episode.

When he gets out of the jar on the Argo 2 I think he has a lot of insomnia he’s very scared to sleep for many reasons. Nightmares and giants and goddesses wanting to send dream messages to him. He wants to ignore them like they’re not there like they’re an annoying email. But he’s not as manic during this episode if he is he doesn’t show it. He’s got no energy for mania. He just barely keeps himself awake for a several days and eventually passes out. For 2-4 days. He wants to lay in the med bay cot he slept in forever he never wants to get up. But eventually he makes himself get up so as not to concern Hazel. Forced himself into another insomnia episode after another.

Then in blood of Olympus he’s wanting to sleep forever but has to force himself awake for this quest. But then right after BoO he spirals on insomnia. Stays up for about 6 and a half days total. There was a lot going on those days and Nico wanted to be awake and aware of everything happening. Collapsed on the 7th morning after Gea is defeated. Sleeps for several days. Only gets up because he got bored and wanted to hang out with Jason.

And I don’t know what comes after that. I don’t remember much of Nico in ToA so idk man. I think this is the end of the line for me now. I’m going to sleep now good night guys.

Oh wait no I forgot about the sword of hades short story. I thinks he was in insomnia episode. Because it happens in the middle of the day and Nico said he had been at a graveyard in New Jersey before Persephone shadow summoned him. And he seems very awake throughout that whole ordeal. And I think after he had a long sleep.

[oikyskau]

Hello, I wrote a little drabble to accompany this art piece; please take my humble offering:

Read on ao3, or under the read more!!

Meryl can’t sleep.

It’s not the cheap little inn in which they’ve found themselves for the night that is keeping her awake, not the creaking of the door or the echoes of whiskey-laced laughter creeping up the stairs and into her room. She’s not even bothered by the telltale sound of critters crawling over the still open window, trying to find refuge from the sandy dunes outside, like they did.

No, even with her mind still replaying the latest catastrophe they encountered on their travels through Noman’s Land, she would’ve been able to find some kind of rest; that strange gun-wielding maniac that had threatened to shoot up the entire town if they didn’t present him with the 6 million double dollar bounty without comprehending what facing said 6 million double dollar bounty would mean for him – neither of them did, truly, as they finished the day watching the gun-wielding maniac drunkenly apologise to them whilst snot was running down his face.

Meryl shivers at the recollection.

And shivers again when the reason for her current insomnia huffs against her chest and proceeds to nuzzle into her breasts. Her cheeks warm with that familiar spark of heat that she’s learned is just her body’s natural reaction to Vash’s skin on hers. Another shift of his body, thigh twitching against hers, followed by a small hiccup, almost too quiet to hear. Heat turns into concern, just as heavy a weight as his body on hers. She doesn’t hesitate, hand sliding down his back, the other one nestling in his hair. The strands are soft against the tips of her fingers as she brushes through them, like protruding feathers, almost.

Vash sighs, muscles going lax as whatever ailed him seems to evaporate. Despite the exhaustion hanging off her bones, Meryl’s lips twitch into a smile. Perhaps her body was right to keep her awake, granting her own anxious mind the solace of seeing the one person you care for so intensely finally at peace. Her fingers brush over scars, blooming over Vash’s back as if they had split his skin open to reveal his true shape. They feel coarse, but no longer make her wince as they did the first time she splayed her hands over them.

She hasn’t seen Vash this relaxed in a long time. It’s nice.

Leaning forward, she presses her lips against the crown of his head to quell the overwhelming feeling rising in her chest. It almost brings tears to her eyes; the tenderness of the gesture is not new, but rare in between fights and blood and debilitating sandstorms. Just as she’s pressed her eyes shut in another attempt to finally fall asleep, Vash’s body stirs.

He whines, low and needy, lips dragging over her skin wetly as he rouses (she’s pretty sure that’s drool). She watches as he drags his head upwards, until they’re face to face. His eyes droop down midway through, blink open again blearily in an obvious attempt to find hers. When they do, his lips squish and jut out, until they mirror the pout on her own. Meryl almost calls him cute then, if it weren’t for the deep circles underneath his eyes, belying the exhaustion resting underneath his skin.

Oh, Vash, Meryl wants to say, murmur it into that sacred space between them, your typhoon doesn’t make a halt even for you, does it? She wishes she could keep him here, keep them both here, in this shitty room above a shitty saloon, where no brothers or responsibilities or the goddamn bad lads gang can find them. She wishes they could rest, only for a moment, but longer than a single night; rest until the hop in Vash’s step stops being fake, until the weight of her gun stops feeling heavy against her conscience.

Vash huffs, a tiny little sound, brows furrowing slightly. Fuck, she just wants him to be happy.

“M’ryl?” Vash’s voice is a little too raspy, not awake enough to make sense. “Y’r like a pillow.”

It’s too much. She feels her heart burst, explode into every crevice of her body. It fills and fills and fills, flowing past the hollow of her ribs, up to her flushing skin and down her arms where hairs rise in its energy. Her fingers tighten as she yanks Vash's face closer. He yelps until he feels her lips hit his cheek, a little too forceful, a little too enthusiastic. She feels him laugh just as his cheek warms underneath her lips.

“Meryl,” he sighs sleepily, not even attempting to escape the death grip she has on him. Good, she wouldn't have let him leave either way.

They stay like this, buried in affection and warmth, nuzzling against each other. It doesn’t take Meryl long to recognise what that feeling fizzling in her chest means, but it takes the rest of the time to gather her courage to voice it.

“Vash,” she whispers, voice barely audible above the clanking of glasses from downstairs, “I love you.”

The night remains silent after those fateful words, ringing within her ears louder than it usually would. She swallows, arms tightening around him until she identifies the rhythmic movement of his chest, the calm exhaling of breath. Her lips pull into a smile, soft and sweet just as the sleeping body resting upon hers makes her feel. She’ll tell him another time, soon.

[manor-historian]

HI MERRYYYY can i ask for some xiefan x insomniac!reader scenarios/headcanons?? likee, reader can't sleep so its up to their boyfriends to keep them occupied until they pass out or something :))) thank you in advance have a great night/day!!!!!

YESS OFC YOU CAN!! christening this blog with some fluffy xiefan x reader, what a great day ^^

Wu Chang x Insomniac!Reader

There’s no scenario where the guards are happy to see you stressed or in pain, and this is no exception. Whatever the reason for your insomnia, they’re going to do their best to at least help you through it.

Xie Bi’An’s focus is on helping you relax. Before you try to sleep, he’ll be in the bathroom drawing you a warm bath complete with lavender aromatherapy. If you’re willing, he’ll help wash your skin and hair as you unwind, but even if you aren’t he’s ready with the fluffiest towels and the warmest set of pajamas.

Warm milk, tea, whatever your preference- he’s already in the kitchen making you both a cup (and one for Wujiu, of course.).

As you’re making yourself comfortable on the bed, Bi’An’s picking out a story to read to you- silence certainly won’t help you sleep any faster. If there’s a topic you want to talk about instead, he has no problems engaging you in conversation until you finally start to feel sleepy. 

Secretly though, he really likes reading books to you; you just look so serene, even before you’re actually asleep. It’s a moment he doesn’t get to see very often, and he cherishes it every time.

Fan Wujiu’s focus is making you feel comfortable. Unlike Bi’An, he’s not as skilled when it comes to comforting people, so he tries to treat you as he’d want you to treat him if the roles were reversed (not that he’ll ever admit that, though.).

While you’re in the bath, he’s fluffing your pillows and getting you extra blankets. There might be a stray comment about how messy your bed and room get, but he still makes an effort to tidy it up a bit.

Once you’re out, he’ll offer his shoulder or chest for you to lay on. He’s not the warmest individual (both emotionally and physically), but if you accept he’ll arrange the pillows to make sure you’re especially comfortable while you do so, and hold his arm around you for good measure.

If you ask, he’ll hold your hand, rub your face with his fingers, or do any kind of affectionate touch as Bi’An is reading to you both. Sometimes he interrupts, and it turns into a lighthearted back-and-forth between the two. Even if it derails from the story, it’s always nice hearing your boyfriends speak so casually with each other.

As you’re finally beginning to tire, Bi’An will close his book and join Wujiu in snuggling you in bed. Bi’An will keep talking if you ask him to, but he won’t go to sleep until you’re already snoring. Wujiu is…less disciplined about staying awake for you, but the sound of his breathing against your shoulder is comforting in and of itself.

If you ask very very nicely in this moment, either one of them will sing you a lullaby. They aren’t the greatest singers, but their voices are soft and so full of affection that it’s incredibly hard not to feel at ease when they sing to you, especially if they’re singing together.

Before you know it, you’re blinking sunlight out of your eyes as you wake up sandwiched between your two boyfriends. Good luck getting out of bed on time.

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

Omgs i just read your giyuu x reader where reader can't sleep,and could i request something similar with gojo x fem!reader?

Where the reader is a sorcerer and only one year younger than gojo,and is experiencing insomnia cause she has alot on her mind? something hurt/comfort and fluffy pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺(i haven't slept well in weeks causes i have so many problems rn...)

Of course!! I love Gojo, I’d love to write a fluffy hurt comfort for him

Here is the Giyuu one if anyone else was interested! ♡

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

You grumbled to yourself as you turn over to stare at the ceiling. You were laying in bed with your boyfriend Gojo Satoru who was sound asleep. You turn your head to glance over at him. The blanket tucked under his arm as he laid on his side, his back facing you. His other arm tucked beneath his pillow that had his white hair spread across. You turn your head to the other side to glance at the clock on your night stand. 3:35 am. What a dreadful time to be awake. You should be asleep like your boyfriend. But every time you closed your eyes your whole body would clench and shiver. Flashes of your last mission repeating on a loop. You place your hands over your face and drag them down in annoyance. You quietly slip out from the covers and make your way into the kitchen, making sure not to wake Satoru.

You grab a glass of water and take a sip from it as you pull out a chair from the dining table to sit down. You stare at the glass as your mind continues to race. That last mission was a close call. The curse was much more powerful than expected. Everything could have went south if another one of your coworkers hadn’t intervened. You couldn’t help but feel guilty. They nearly sacrificed themselves for you and now they have to spend the night in a hospital bed while you got to go back home and sleep in your own comfy house and bed. You were thankful for Shoko, because she was able to help your coworker. But she still recommended a few nights in the hospital so that she could keep a close eye on them. You wouldn’t have forgiven yourself if they hadn’t come back from the mission. The thought alone plagued your mind as you took another harsh swallow of your water. Of course, this wasn’t the only thing clouding your thoughts. The students, they have to go through so much. And there is only so much you and Satoru can do for them. You wish you could go on every mission with them, to make sure that they’re going to be okay and can get your help when needed. You just wanted the best for them. It wasn’t fair that these children had to go through such hardships this early in their lives. All of them already having had a difficult life even before they became students. As a student, you don’t recall such life threatening missions. Yes, a lot of them were risky, but none of them measured up to what the kids were facing now. Everything had changed and it felt like a stone tower slowly crumbling down. One more stone brick being kicked from the bottom and everything comes crashing down, being merciless to whoever stood underneath and unaware of the falling pieces.

A student. Back in highschool. Sometimes you wish you could go back to those simpler times. Back when your classmate would tease you for having a crush on Satoru who was a year older than you. Teasing you that were into older men knowing it was an exaggeration. Times were still hard, but those troubles seemed like nothing compared to now. You feared that Satoru was in even more danger. Stronger enemies appearing more made you worry for him. Perhaps it was a silly thing to fret over, but there could always be that slim chance that something horrible could happen. Not a day went by that you didn’t worry for him. Not to mention, he also has been looking more stressed lately. You wish you could help Satoru more but there is only so much you could do. Most of the things that worried your boyfriend were out of both of your control. The best you could do is be there for him when he needed it. But you stressed it wasn’t enough. You feared that maybe you weren’t enough for him. That there was more that you could be doing for him that Satoru was holding back on telling you. For whatever reasoning he had. Satoru always had a bad habit of distancing himself when he started to become overwhelmed with stress. You’d never step on his toes and try to involve yourself more when he needed the space. But you wished you could always be there for him, no matter what. You never wanted him to stress alone. You wanted to make sure to be by his side, and have him know that you’re by his side.

“Y/N?” Satoru’s voice breaks you from your trance. You jump in your seat and turn around to meet his eyes.

“Satoru…”

“What’re you doing up? You okay?” He starts to question you, walking closer as he rubs his eyes that were still adjusting to the kitchen’s light.

“Yeah… I just. Got a lot on my mind. Can’t sleep.” Satoru places a hand on your shoulder as he bends down to kiss the top of your head.

“Don’t leave bed next time. You scared me. Just wake me up and I’ll try to help you fall asleep.”

You smiled at him while furrowing your brows, “Sato, I’m not gonna do that. You need your sleep. It’d be annoying of me to wake you up just because I’m not sleeping.”

Satoru groans and he squats down to become eye level with you, his hand resting on your thigh, “Well that’s too damn bad. That’s the new rule now.” Satoru wraps his arm behind your back and under your legs to lift you from the chair. You arms instinctively wrap around his neck as you lay your head against his shoulder.

“I don’t like that new rule…” you pout quietly.

“Well I do.” Satoru starts to make his way back to the shared bedroom. “I want you to ask me for help. I want to help you. I always want to do everything I can for you. I won’t find it annoying. It’s more annoying if you think you’re a burden on me when you’re not.”

You fail to hold back a smile and pull yourself closer into Satoru’s neck to hide it. Satoru places you down in the bed and lifts the blankets for the both of you to settle back in to. You slide over to your side of the bed to allow Satoru back in. He opens his arm so that you could cuddle into him and he could hold you close. You press your body against his as he places a kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin before he lazily pulled away.

“Do you want to talk about what you’re thinking?” You hesitate to answer him. Satoru’s hand petting the back of your head, your hair hair feeling soft against his skin.

“Not right now… I don’t have the energy to talk about it at the moment…”

Satoru places his hand on the side of your head, leaning down slightly to catch your lips against his. “That’s okay, baby. Talk to me about it whenever you feel ready. I’m always here for you.” Your heart swells. A part of you feeling like you didn’t deserve such a kind man. Satoru really was too perfect. You go back in for another kiss, deepening it and kiss him for much longer. Satoru smiled as he continued fo pet your hair, his hand eventually sliding back down to your waist where he pulled you in closer to his body.

“What can I do for you? To help you sleep? I don’t want my sweet Y/N to be restless in the morning.”

You shrug. Honestly unsure of what he could do to help you sleep. You’ve tried many methods for the past week and nothing had helped. You had accepted your fate by this point and figured that one day, you’d feel so tired from your lack of sleep that you’d finally sleep early and keep your schedule that way.

“I could keep talking to you. Keep kissing you. Keep hugging you close to me. Make you feel safe and warm in my arms until you finally sleep?” Satoru suggested.

You nodded, bringing a hand into his soft, white hair and kissing him once more as you twirled his hair in your fingers. “That’s be nice… but what if I miss what you have to say? I always want to listen to you.”

Satoru smiled warmly, “I’ll talk about nonsense so that you don’t miss anything important, okay?” You nod once more before wrapping your arm around Satoru, your legs tangling with his as you start to feel you body grow warm against his.

Satoru’s voice sounding pleasant against your ears as he occasionally kissed your head, your cheeks, your forehead and your shoulder. Ocasional yawns also interrupting his speech. You feel your eyes starting to feel heavy as you nuzzled closer into his chest. You could hear his voice vibrant against his chest and into you. His heartbeat at a steady pace, bumping quietly underneath his tired and gruff voice. Your breath slowly evening out as you started to slowly drift deeper into sleep. Satoru called out your name but you didn’t answer, you had finally fallen asleep.

Satoru laughed lightly to himself, finding that way you grasped his body even in sleep extremely adorable. He wished he could quickly snap a picture of you but decided against it, thinking that the movement of him grabbing his phone would wake you back up. He placed a final, lingering kiss on the top of your head before wishing you a good night as he also sunk back into sleep with you.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

CW: Intrusive thoughts (nearly acting one out which would hurt an animal)

Hi! I’m not really sure how to go about asking this, but a few years ago I was professionally diagnosed with autism and whilst it explained a lot of my behaviours there are still quite a few that aren’t “normal” and I’m not sure if it’s something else, but I thought you’d be the best person to come to (I’ve tried talking to my parents about it several times but they brushed it off, and since I’m a year off 18 I can’t really do anything about it myself).

Throughout most of my life I haven’t like getting dirty, and whilst this is partially a sensory thing, every time I touch something that I perceive to be dirty—even if I know that it’s clean and it has been cleaned several times over—I can’t touch it and if I do then my hands feel like they’re covered in a thin layer of filth and I can’t concentrate on anything else until I wash my hands thoroughly, and this can lead me to washing my hands at least fifteen times a day, but I can go days without showering and not feeling bothered by it at all. My parents sometimes ask me why I just seem to “randomly” wash my hands but I don’t want to tell them the actual reason because they’d say I was overreacting, but this can lead me to not wanting to touch people at all, especially their hands because they’re usually the dirtiest part of a person (with a couple of exceptions) and like I said I can’t stand the thought of having some else’s germs on me. Again I don’t know if this is an autism-related thing since sensory issues also come into play but I haven’t seen much about it in relation to ASD.

Another couple of things I wanted to ask about was intrusive thoughts and dissociation: I’ve been having intrusive thoughts for the last few years and most of the time I can deal with them but lately I’ve been really struggling with not acting them out, for example I’ll get one urging me to physically lash out or tell yell slurs or verbally abuse someone and it’s difficult to hold myself back now, which is similar to when they first started, where I got an intrusive thought to strangle one of my pets and it was difficult for me to not go through with it (don’t worry they’re fine I didn’t hurt them) but it distresses me that if I was zoned out enough for even just a bit I could go through with them.

As for the dissociation, again that’s been happening for a couple years, where it’s been manageable, but the last few months/year I keep zoning out a lot for long periods of time to the point where it badly impacted my grades and school work because I’d barely ever be able to pay attention in lessons, even ones I enjoyed—the teacher could be standing right in front of me and talking but I wouldn’t be able to hear a word they were saying even if I was looking at them, and a lot of the time I wasn’t even aware that I was looking at them because my eyes wouldn’t take anything in and I’d be completely inside my head. Lately it’s been getting worse because whilst I’ve always had vivid dreams it’s started to get increasingly difficult to tell what are dreams and what aren’t—even ones that are completely nonsensical—because it’s gotten to the point where my dreams feel too real and my waking life feels fake and my mind and body feel numb, my dreams feel so much more vivid and realistic, and it sometimes gets to the point where sometimes I don’t know whether I’m awake or not because real life doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t help that for the last couple of weeks I’ve been having nightmares almost every night, which ends up in me waking up terrified in the middle of the night because it feels like the threat’s actually there so I’ve been perpetually exhausted due to disrupted sleep and insomnia because it’s gotten to the point where I’m scared of falling asleep. Back to the dissociation bit, a lot of the time I also don’t seem to know what I’m doing or where I’m going and it can again sometimes feel like I’m dreaming even though I’m wide awake because my mind and senses feel disconnected from my body, I think this is sometimes described as brain fog? but I’m not entirely sure.

Sorry this turned out to be really long but I just wanted to see what your thoughts were because I’ve been really struggling lately, and there’s currently nobody else I can talk to about this. If you respond then thank you in advance, it would mean a lot to me.

Hi there,

I’ll do my best to answer this.

The washing your hands part reminds a little of OCD. And it can coincide with autism. Here’s a Venn diagram showing the difference and similarities:

The link to this article will be below if you want to read it.

I can’t really help you with the dissociation part, that’s something that needs to be talked about with a professional or therapists. Maybe some of my followers can give advice.

I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question fully. But thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[medicaldoctordana]

His Little Backpack

Pairing: MSR

Rating: T

W/C: 2k

Synopsis: Dana Scully's big spoon isn't so much a spoon. Four instances where M&S share a bed. One instance where Scully gets to shoot Mulder AND The Lone Gunmen. It's not her fault Mulder broke his promise.

Read on ao3

I. Koala Bear

Neither one of them said anything as they got into bed together. This was a one-time thing, a clerical error they couldn't resolve. Neither one of them minded for they were more concerned with how the other would be managing their feelings about the situation. The covers were flipped and their pajamas were donned. Scully slid onto the left side of the bed in tandem with Mulder sliding onto the right side. They were doing this. They were sharing one bed.

Few words were exchanged between checking in and where they lay now. Only torrid looks and the word fine repeated on a loop. It’s not early in their partnership and they’re surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. They face opposite walls and pretend they’re alone in their own motel room. Surely eight hours will go by quickly and Mulder will be up soon enough for his morning run, or insomnia, or whatever.

Scully tucked her paws under her chin and had the blanket pulled up above her shoulders. Her knees were drawn tight to her chest, but not so much to angle her back end out too far. She tried to relax, running through her mental gambit of techniques. She hoped she would finally find peace enough to sleep through the whole night.

Meanwhile, Mulder lay on his back with his arms above his head. He tried to keep his elbows within the bounds of his own pillow. His toes hung off the bed when he flexed and had decided to forgo any blankets at all. He didn’t want to fight for them and didn’t really need them this time of year. He was hoping he wouldn’t be plagued with a sleepless night for laying awake next to his sleeping partner was not a torture he’d like to endure.

When six in the morning came about, Mulder’s body naturally woke up, no longer able to bear the stillness of slumber. However still he was though, was not as still as the body affixed to his back. And with stillness came rigidity. The arms around his neck compressed his chest enough to make it challenging to draw a breath. And the legs were tied to his waist in the way a life preserver would. He reached up to lightly touch the conjoined wrists by his heart.

Scully was on his back like a little koala bear hugging a tree. He was glad he forwent the blankets, for Scully was warmer than any cotton blend on earth. They would never speak of this incident.

 II. Piggy Back Ride

Somehow, they ran into this problem again. The motel clerk said they had the extra rooms, he just couldn’t change the reservation. Their new computer system was glitching and wouldn’t let him reassign the agents. And unfortunately, the room key access was tied to the new computer system. This was the worst and fanciest motel they had come across. What kind of motel upgrades to computer chip door access?

Scully rolled her eyes and called first dibs on the bathroom. The room advertised a soaker tub and Scully definitely needed to pamper herself if she was expected to share a bed with Mulder, again. The last time she had woken up alone. This time she was hoping to let him wake up alone.

Mulder was flipping channels when she vacated the steamy bathroom. “All yours,” she proclaimed to the darkened void of their shared room. Skinner had all but promised this wouldn’t happen again. It went against FBI regulations, but apparently a tough situation is a tough situation. He told them to use their best judgment, whatever that meant.

Mulder was back in the room by the time Scully slid into bed. She flipped her light off and her covers on. Mulder was using the spare blanket in the room this time. He looked shy and embarrassed when he asked the clerk in front of her. He wrapped himself up like a burrito before flopping on the mattress.

He mumbled something under his breath while she was half asleep, she was too tired to wake herself up and worry about it. “Don’t koala bear me tonight please,” is what it sounded like. Scully had no idea what he meant and used sleep as an excuse to not figure it out.

When morning came, Scully did indeed wake first. You can do anything you set your mind to, she reminded herself as she felt Mulder’s breath rumbling softly under her forearms.

Wait, she could feel his breath through her arms? Scully recoiled coldly, realizing she had her arms wrapped around his chest. And upon further investigation, her toes were dangling dangerously close to his center. He was still burritoed inside the blanket, she was just on him like he was giving her a piggyback ride. Fuck. Shit.

Trying to be as smooth as possible, Scully took back ownership of her limbs and backed away from the bed. She retreated to the renovated bathroom and composed herself. Suddenly the words Mulder whispered to her before sleep made a little more sense.

Koala bear? Piggyback ride? This happened last time too. Fuck. Shit. Oh whatever, he slept through it this time. She would never mention this instance and neither would he.

 III. Jet Pack

“Third time’s a charm,” Mulder joked as the receptionist delivered the bad news. There was a conference in town and all the rooms were booked out. Scully’s call ahead did nothing to secure them an extra room. Hell, it wasn’t supposed to be an extra room, it was supposed to be their other room. They were FBI agents of different sexes. Their jobs regarded the sharing of one room as inappropriate and mandated they did everything in their power to find separate lodging.

After an hour and too many calls around town, Skinner had been consulted and signed off on the one room requisition, again. He joked they kept making a habit of this and regretted it based on Scully’s lack of reply. Well, it was a very loud reply actually, her slamming the phone shut and hanging up on him. It wasn’t funny, it was frustrating.

This time, they did grumble and commiserate on their repeated unfortunate circumstance. It was odd getting to know your work partner’s preferred side of the bed and night time routine. Mulder finally acknowledged the discomfort and suggested getting a cot or sleeping in the tub.

Scully reminded him their last shared room would have provided a better tub to sleep in and there was no way in hell she was letting him mess up his back that badly just to avoid sharing the bed. They were adults. They were friends. They could share the bed.

They made eye contact as they flipped the covers over. No spare blanket this time. The motel was out of extra bedding already. 

“Do you want to sleep with a pillow between us?”

The response was the pillow to the head.

Curling up with anger, they both found it hard to fall asleep. By two and three am, the room was filled with snores.

At five, they both woke up groggily. They shifted in sync, both still half asleep, both still maintaining their current positions. Scully shifted her hips and let out an unfortunately loud flatulence. Mulder’s eyes popped open, “blast off, my little jet pack,” he mumbled to the wall.

Doing just so, Scully bolted off his back and shuffled to the bathroom to wash the shame from her body. When she exited the bathroom, she sent her partner a look that said if he ever spoke of this, she would shoot him again. And this time her aim would be just as precise and his shoulder would not be the target.

 IV. Backpack

The hole in the roof was unfortunate. The cow making the hole was unexpected. Needing to share Scully’s undamaged motel room was just unlucky and an undesirable situation. The people of Kroner assumed them to be a couple for some ungodly reason. Mulder and Scully had just started navigating this unknown and undefined territory.

“Don’t have a cow, Scully.”

A glare was given in response.

While they were settling in for the night, Scully was so uncomfortable that her shifting around was unsettling to Mulder.

“Would cuddling help?” Mulder’s suggestion was seemingly unprompted. “I know you sleep better when you have something to cling to. I don’t mind if you want to be the big spoon.”

The room was dark, neither could see the other’s expression.

“No.” Came her curt reply.

“Yes.” She said a moment later.

“Fine, whatever.” She grumbled as they turned together to face the windows.

He lifted up his forearms, getting ready for her arms to slide into place around his neck. She attempted to keep her legs to herself but after five minutes of rubbing her feet together, Mulder reached down and pulled them over his hips.

“You’re all strapped in.” He patted her hands and she dug in her nails to his chest.

“Speak of this and I’ll shoot you, Mulder.” She released her grip and smoothed down his shirt. “And might I point out you’re the one all strapped in? You’re wearing me like a backpack, Mulder.”

“You carry all the things I need, Scully.”

“Shut up, Mulder.”

 V. Matching bullet hole in his other shoulder

The lone gunmen knew how to have a good time. Whenever they hosted a friendly gathering, they went all out with snacks and drinks. Emphasis on the drinks. Four beers in and Mulder was more loose-lipped than Scully would have liked. Thankfully she wasn’t in attendance. They were swapping stories and somehow, the question had been asked about shared motel rooms. Had it ever happened? How many times? What was it like sharing a bed with the luscious Special Agent Dana Scully?

It may have slipped out, the part where she always ended up on his back. He didn’t mean to say it. Didn’t mean to share the personal information Scully explicitly and repeatedly reminded him to keep to himself. He was having fun with friends, got caught up in the moment, forgot. He was just drunk enough to call her and snitch on himself.

“Scully, you have to shoot me.” His voice was desperate, like it was the only solution to save the world.

“Mulder, I'm not shooting you.”

“But Scully! You promised!”

“Oh, so you want me to shoot you? Mulder, I’m confused.”

“No, Scully. No, I need you to shoot me. You need you to shoot me. I broke a promise. I broke your promise. Our promise.”

“Mulder?” Scully didn’t know where he was. She didn’t know the circumstances. She couldn’t tell how inebriated he was. However, her blood started to boil when she heard the calls from behind him.

“Yeah! Shoot him little piggy!” Yes she’s a cop, but fuck anyone who dares to call her a pig. Langley would get the first bullet in her clip.

“No, a koala bear is much too cute to shoot Mulder. She wouldn’t.” Byers would still get a bullet, just maybe a skim, not a through and through.

“She has before.” A chorus of three voices came.

“Shoot him up to the sky, you little jet pack! I hear you pack a powerful punch! Lots of fire power!” Oh, Frohike was definitely getting at least half her clip. Maybe a round right in the mouth to shut him up. Scully had never felt so pissed.

“Scully, I’m so sorry!” Mulder was clearly mad at his friends, not nearly as so at himself but enough so that Scully could save all her bullets for him. He would take care of the others.

Silence was met on the other end but that didn’t stop Mulder from hearing how red her face was or how loud her heart was pounding.

“Mulder. I’m going to shoot you.”

“I know.” He sighed and she hung up. He’d probably never get to put on his little backpack ever again. How unfortunate.

 tagging @today-in-fic

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 12 - Royal AU

This snippet of the Royal AU is based on (and contains sentences of) the actual rp. So while the other two pieces I’ve written for this AU (can be found on the masterlist if you missed them!) were pre-Bruno, this one takes place just after his arrival at the castle.

Taglist: @painful-pooch , @sssunshinebreeze (it’s not technically Brumaria yet but is leading there so I wasn’t sure if I should tag you for this one?)

The Shadow of Death Masterlist

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” | Insomnia

Contains: nightmare, fire, referenced stabbing, referenced noncon, referenced corporal punishment, talk of war, talk of murder

.

.

Flames leap high from the roofs of homes, smoke billowing up to blot out the stars.

The red and yellow flag of Ethorcon, proudly planted in the village center, ripples from the intense heat.

Firelight glints off the armor of the soldiers. They’re dragging people away from the flames and back into the street from where they’re trying to flee, running the men through with their swords and throwing the women to the ground, laughing…

Kamaria jolts awake, panting, seconds from screaming. She throws off the covers and shoves herself upright, burying her face in her hands. She’s soaked with sweat. 

In the distance, the bell chimes once from its tower. Even after keeping herself awake until far after the rest of the castle had settled down for the night, she still didn’t even manage to sleep an hour. 

It’s nothing new. She hasn’t slept much more than that any night for the past week. Ever since the king decided that she needed a bodyguard - he claims for her own safety, but she knows very well it’s more to make sure she doesn’t get into trouble than anything. He’s her babysitter. And he follows her every step, watches her every move, lurks outside of her door at every moment. No matter where she goes, she has to see him, dressed in his shining Ethorconite armor.

It’s no wonder that that armor has followed her into her dreams. Nightmares have been a periodic occurrence for her since her village was destroyed when she was twelve, but since his appearance in her life they’ve become nightly. Multiple times a night, if she lets herself try to go back to sleep. 

So she won’t. She’ll stay up, finding mundane ways to keep herself occupied, like she has most every other night. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she finds her slippers to protect her feet from the cold stone floor and stands, crossing to the window. She stares out into the night, the city far down below her.

She’s trying not to stare at the bedroom door. Trying hard not to think about the man standing on the other side, wondering when he’s going to show his true colors. He’s an Ethorconite soldier, after all, a war hero, and she’s Navarian. She’s one of the very people he fought to destroy. He has to hate her, has really made no pretense this week not to, despite his outer layer of respect, and that means he could turn on her at any time. Drag her off like his men had that night, perhaps, find some hidden corner to have his way with her. 

And no one would care, most likely. They don’t care about anything else that happens to her, so why would they care about that? He probably deserves it, in their eyes. A reward for the hero after he fought so hard to ‘protect’ this kingdom by murdering her family and countrymen. 

She’s not sure how much longer she can take it. The constant anxiety and the lack of sleep are causing her to slip up in her daily duties, as well - messing up her lessons with Roderick, letting words slip out when she should remain silent, losing focus during conversations. And all of that means more and more punishments, which means more pain, more reason to not sleep, more to hide from her babysitter. She refuses to let him know that she’s weak and in pain. He doesn’t need more motivation to prey on her. He certainly got the talk from Roderick that the rest of the staff did, anyway, about the rewards they can get for reporting her slip ups to him. 

No, she’s not going to be able to handle all of this for long. It’s time to start making plans for escape…again. It hasn’t been that long since she tried last, and she’d paid for that failed attempt just like all the others, but one of these times she’s sure to succeed. She learns something new each time she tries. 

She’s not sleeping, anyway. And anything is better than just sitting here, waiting for him to attack.

[just-a-silly-boy]

Your Jack & Roger post reminds me of a possible way to see their relationship. You (using that word to mean anyone, not just you or me) could see them as becoming bonded over the traumatic experience of the island to the point where they try to spend time together as much as they can once they’re rescued.

Always having sleepovers and trying to have as many classes together as they can, because they got so used to being around each other 24/7 on the island and now become worried when they don’t see each other for a few days (due to their fear that they died or got in trouble for what they did)

That is an interesting way to think of it. Sometimes I imagine that they would not have much chance of staying together after rescued as I believe things have changed in the world after the war. Families were split apart, maybe some of their parents are dead, maybe their families were forced to move... But I like it of they going back to the same catholical boarding school they were before island. Or maybe thinking of the time they spent in the ship during the way back, them all in the same big room with many bunks and mattresses. Imagining them awake together during night because Jack had a nightmare and Roger because he have insomnia, so they just stay there talking about how they wont tell anyone about what they did, how they will keep the others silent too, what if Ralph say something? We kill him! No! Lol sorry...

One thing that is my main hc for them is that the trauma hit them (Jack and Roger) diferent than to the other boys, and I think at first being rescued would be more traumatic for them than the actual island experience. It would probably take years for the real shit hit them... or more like hit Jack, because my babyboy Roger has always been a "sociopath", he lacks empathy so guilt would not find place in him. And yeah that is why i think if they stay close to each other after rescued, Roger would play a big role in the way Jack deal with his trauma, keeping him away of feeling guilty. In other hand Jack would be a model for Roger to adjust back to the civilisation and all the moral code again. They are both fucked up in head lol

Anyways sorry i'm just rambling my thoughts here... i have so many deep hc for them that i would talk about it forever.

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Sleepless Night

@sicktember 2022 Prompt #27

Fandom/OCs: DnD OCs

Title: Come Wake Me Up

Words: 1122

Inspiration: Read more of my DnD OCs here, and on day 1 of Sicktember!

Author’s comments: Not entirely sure where this came from, except that I’ve been wanting to write something like this for months, with an insomniac sickie being annoyed at a pet and an insomniac teammate helping their sleeping companions in the middle of the night. My DnD party is just so cute to me and I love exploring all their different dynamics. I’ll probably keep writing about them just because they’re fun. I have at least one more prompt for them as it is. I should also make character sheets for them just for the heck of it, now that I’ve been inside their heads. Anyway, enjoy some silly domestic musings about a certain adventuring party. 

Filius' nose was dripping. This was nothing new; it had either been dripping or completely plugged, and usually both at once, for the last three days. However, waking up with your face in a wet spot created by your own nose was far from pleasant, and the cleric groaned to himself as he rolled over, coughing softly. It was the middle of the night, and Filius wondered what had awakened him, since he doubted it was just his nose. His teammates sleeping beside him and the campfire, now down to orange embers, seemed undisturbed, although Kandry was shivering in her sleep, pressed as close to the fire as she could get. The cause of the disturbance became clear though when he heard the sound of hooves stamping anxiously, and then a low, worried whinny that he recognized as coming from Newt, his gelding. 

"Damn horse," the cleric sniffled, slowly sitting up. "And damn this cold." His face felt heavy and tight, and he knew his eyes were puffy. His head throbbed from the pressure change as he sat, and the evening air made him shiver, even beside the fire. He quickly donned his cloak and boots against the chill, knowing he likely wouldn't be sleeping again any time soon. He struggled with insomnia as it was, and being unable to breathe through his nose didn't help matters. Usually he would use the time to commune with Njord in prayer, but he was too cold just now to be able to concentrate. 

Newt whinnied again, louder this time, likely sensing his master was awake. With a sigh, Filius stood. Casting an envious look at his sleeping companions, he turned and made his way through the silent camp to where the horses were tied. Newt perked up upon seeing him, butting his head against him fondly. The other horses made sounds of irritation at their rest being disturbed and tried to ignore the pair. Filius leaned against his steed wearily, stroking his muzzle.

"What are you making such a fuss about?" Filius whispered to him. "Probably a bat or a possum, I imagine. You're such a coward, you dumb brute. You can't be causing a ruckus whenever you feel like it, you know. Some people are trying to sleep." Still, he continued to stroke down the horse's muscular neck, straightening his mane fondly.

The cleric's sinuses had been buzzing in irritation ever since he'd woken, and finally the itch became unbearable. He pressed his face into Newt's back, stifling a pair of congested sneezes as best he could. The horse snorted in confusion and moved away, so Filius pulled out a handkerchief to finish blowing his nose. 

"Sorry, old pal," he sniffled. "Couldn't help that one." Newt looked at him reproachfully, so Filius resumed stroking him and murmuring to him, feeling the animal relax under his touch. 

Once Newt was calm and almost asleep again, Filius left his side, unsure what to do next. Just then, he was startled by someone else's sneeze coming from out of his line of sight behind the tents. Unless they were being stalked by a particularly bumbling enemy, the natural source was Lorellyn, who was currently on watch. With nothing else to do, Filius went to check on her. As he passed by the fire once more, he couldn't help but glance at Kandry worriedly. She really was shivering dreadfully, even under both her blankets. Gundor was shaking now too, but he had kicked his blanket completely off. Filius gently replaced the covering over the snoring dwarf, who didn’t stir. He then threw another few logs on the fire for both of their benefits before going on his way.

It was indeed the elf who had sneezed, for she emitted another as Filius approached. 

"Bless and bless. Don't tell me you caught this cold too?" he gently teased, giving her a one-armed hug in greeting. 

"You as a cleric should know elves can't catch cold," she replied, rubbing at her nose with a smile. "It's just the cold air. It always gets me sneezing. But what are you doing up? You’re not on watch tonight."

"Couldn't sleep. Too much cold."

"In the air or in your nose?" she laughed. 

"Definitely both," he said ruefully. 

"Poor guy. And there's nothing you can do?"

"There's no cure for a cold, magical or otherwise," he sighed. "I sometimes think the gods do such things just for the sake of a laugh."

"They just might," Lorellyn agreed. 

“Is there anything I can get you while I’m here?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you. It was nice to talk to someone for a minute, though.”

Filius was unable to reply immediately, as it was his turn to emit a series of thick sneezes. 

“Bless,” Lorellyn said as he finished. “If you stay out here, we’ll just be standing around listening to each other sneeze. You should go lie down, Fil. I just hope you can get back to sleep, and that your cold is better in the morning.”

“Thangks,” Filius managed around his handkerchief. “I’ll try.”

The human made his way back to the fire as instructed, sitting back down on his bedroll after tossing a few more logs on. If nothing else, he could keep it stoked with logs for the benefit of them all, in case sleep wasn’t in the picture for him. Even when the fire was good and roaring though, he could still see Kandry shuddering under her blankets as if she’d never be warm again. 

Filius sighed to himself. He knew she was sick just like he was. While the dwarf and the elf couldn’t catch cold, the halfling could, and she and he seemed to pass colds back and forth all winter, to the chagrin of both, despite their efforts to prevent this. This time she had caught it first, so while he was simply sneezy and congested, she had progressed to being achy and feverish, a treat he had to look forward to in a day or so. He thought about what he would want if he was in her position, and the answer was obvious. With another small sigh, he shifted his bedroll so that it was touching hers. He freed a corner of her blanket bundle and slid himself in beside her, throwing his own blanket over both of them. She stirred and mumbled confusedly. He simply pressed himself against her, and she burrowed into his warmth right away, hardly waking. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, settling into the coziness from her elevated body temperature. He would move before she woke, and she would be none the wiser. However, he was surprisingly comfortable. Maybe he would get some sleep tonight after all.

[raedear]

SO @the73rdpostscript slid into my dms with an amazing idea this morning and before I knew it I had a whole ass drabble written. Bon appetit.

Give us a ring, would you pet?

They’ve been driving for hours, on the long winding route between visiting Nicky’s family in Genoa, and their own comfortable bed in Amsterdam, and Joe’s been gently snoring for the last two hours straight. They decided to drive overnight to take advantage of the quiet roads and Nicky’s standard travel insomnia both, and while Joe had promised till he was blue in the face that he’d stay awake and keep Nicky company, Nicky had always known he’d be making the drive alone.

It doesn’t bother him, truth be told. He loves to watch Joe sleep. He’s so demonstrative, always making faces at his dreams and muttering nonsense, Nicky could watch him for hours and not be bored. The difficulty is though, that he can’t watch him. Even though the roads are quiet and dark in the late night hush, they’re still roads. He can’t risk Joe’s safety just because he’s bored.

The other good thing about Joe being asleep is once he’s there, it’s hard to get him up again. Nicky’s had the radio on softly to somewhat-dire pop music for the last hour and he hasn’t even twitched.

Calling it dire is a bit much, Nicky knows, but some of it truly is. He doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with the music tastes of the people of the Swiss/German border, but it’s certainly eclectic. Or maybe it’s just this one station, who knows.

It’s almost a relief when a song he knows finally comes on, even if it’s not one he would have picked for himself. It’s a good beat, for all its annoying earworm tendencies, and he taps along on the steering wheel as he moves to the furthest away lane to avoid a noisy truck up ahead.

‘Hey, I just met you,’ he sings quietly, looking in the rearview mirror distractedly, watching the truck curve off the road towards a service station. ‘And this is crazy—’ Nicky eases them back into the middle lane, coasting along the quiet motorway. ‘So call me maybe.’

It’s a nice song, he thinks to himself, not really fully paying attention as he sings along, skipping words here and there as things on the road catch his eye. It reminds him a bit of how he and Joe met, bumping into each other in the street when they were both in a rush, only to each be late to different things because they just couldn’t seem to stop talking to each other. They still haven’t managed to stop, all these years later.

‘Before you came into my life,’ he sings, tapping the wheel again, ‘I missed you so bad.’ Nicky reaches to shift into third gear, and drops his hand to the left instead after to catch Joe’s fingers where they’re resting, lax on his knee. He squeezes very gently, just to feel him. ‘I missed you so, so bad.’

Nicky smiles to himself, he can’t help it. It’s true. He didn’t know what he was missing before he had Yusuf to miss, and now when he thinks of his life before, all he can see are the spaces where Joe would have fit so well. ‘I missed you so, so bad.’ He really did.

Nicky jumps what feels like a foot in the air when Joe squeezes his hand suddenly.

When he whips his head around to look at him, Joe’s looking at him with big, wet eyes, his lips drawn into the shaking pout he gets when he’s trying with all his might not to cry at an advert.

‘What is it?’ asks Nicky, heart thundering as he tries to get his breath back. ‘Are you alright, tesoro? Did you have a nightmare?’

‘Did I have a nightmare, he asks,’ says Joe, shaking his head at him slowly, still looking tearful. ‘Did I have a nightmare, only to be awoken by the love of my life singing to me? No, Nicolò. I didn’t have a nightmare. I’m having a wonderful dream that I hope never to wake up from, you terrible man.’

Nicky feels his ears get hot, and he looks back at the road, fighting to keep his face straight.

‘Before you came into my life,’ he sings along with the last lines of the song, studiously not looking away from the road, and keeping the speed low enough that he won’t have to change gears again for a moment. ‘I missed you so bad, and you should know that—’ he slides a glance at Joe, and winks when he catches his eye. ‘So call me, maybe.’

Joe’s answering smile is wet with tears, and he leans over the gear stick to kiss Nicky’s cheek.

‘I missed you, too.’

[hangovercurse]

Until You Fall Asleep

After moving in with the crew to help cure your quarantine boredom, you find a new way to deal with your insomnia.

Request: “Could you please do a Colson fanfic where you're a friend of the gang and you move into their house for quarantine so you're not alone. Colson finds out you have terrible insomnia and starts staying up to keep you company and you gradually start sleeping in his bed because it's the only place you seem to actually sleep. You start to get really close through these late night chats, watching films, sharing stuff and opening up to each other... Friendship starts to develop into something else. I need some fluff to see me through these sleepless nights! 🙏😘 Thanks!”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 3487

Living with your best friends during a nationwide quarantine seemed like a good idea when you agreed to it, but after the 5th night of wandering the huge house late at night because you couldn’t sleep, you were starting to think you should’ve stayed where you were. At least at your own place, you didn’t have to worry about sneaking around so as not to wake anyone up.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice that you woke up earlier than everyone else in the house or went to sleep later. Or if they did, no one said anything.

Day five

Tonight hadn’t been going so well. You had tried showering, you hadn’t eaten for at least a few hours before trying to sleep, you turned your lavender diffuser on, you’d even tried yoga. Nothing helped, and you were left staring at your ceiling.

Frustrated and uncomfortable, you rolled out of your bed, sock clad feet pattering across your room and slowly pulling your door open. You made your way through the house and out to the pool, letting the cool night air wash over you. A deep breath fell from your lips as you began to pace around the deck, hoping to tire yourself out enough to sleep.

After a few minutes, you heard the sliding glass door open, looking up and finding Colson stepping out with a blunt in his hand. He smiled tiredly at you, “you’re up early.”

You raised an eyebrow, “what time is it?” You figured it was 4, maybe 5 am.

“Almost 7,” he looked concerned, “you okay?”

You were trying to figure out how you managed to stay up until 7 am without a wink of sleep, “yeah, just couldn’t sleep. It’s cool though. Why are you up?”

Colson lit the blunt as he spoke, “couldn’t sleep either.”

Day eight

You found yourself curled up on the couch, reading a book at 5:30 in the morning after hours of trying to fall asleep. You swore if you stayed in your room a second longer, you’d break something, so you snuck out to the TV room with the most boring book you could find.

“Do you ever sleep?” Colson’s voice surprised you, making you jump lightly in your seat. The man chuckled at your reaction, taking a seat next to you.

You pouted at his glee, “I could ask you the same thing.”

He shrugged, “sleep is for the weak.”

A sarcastic chuckle fell from your lips, “oh yeah, I feel so strong and cool right now.”

The man laughed with you, but soon turned serious, “serious though, are you good? Both nights this week I haven’t slept you’ve been awake, and I know you don’t take naps.”

You sighed, “it’s just insomnia, I’ve been dealing with it on and off for a couple years now. It’s not a big deal.”

He cocked his head in curiosity and worry, “how much sleep have you been getting?”

You ducked your head in embarrassment, “I slept for an hour at like 3, hopefully I’ll fall asleep again at some point tonight.”

Colson frowned, “can I help at all?”

A small smile fell upon your face, “sometimes talking helps, but honestly not much else. It’s not that big of a problem, though. I’ve been dealing with this for a while, I’m used to it.”

He looked shocked, “dude, you sleep for a few hours every night! That’s a problem. I don’t even know how you’re still alive.”

“Like you’ve never gone a couple days in a row without sleeping,” you said sarcastically.

“No! I go to sleep late as fuck, but I sleep eventually most nights. You’re on a whole different level.” His tone was slightly defensive, if not concerned, “do I need to get you some pills or something? I can do that.”

Your eyes went wide, “Jesus, Kells, no. I have enough to deal with, I don’t need another addiction on my hands too.”

He chuckled, “I’m just saying it might help. I’m assuming weed does nothing?”

You sighed sadly, “it did for a while, but I think my body got used to it. I just have to wait it out until I inevitably pass out.”

“Well, guess I’ll just bother you until you fall asleep.” He relaxed further into the couch, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Colson, you really don’t have to-“

“You won’t let me get you drugs, so I’m gonna stay up with you. It’s the least I can do.” He smiled widely, knowing he would get his way.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that, right?”

Day Twelve

“You think that Captain America has the best character arc? Seriously?”

Your nightly chats with Colson had moved into his room after Baze was woken up by Colson’s loud laughter during a conversation about what type of dogs you’d both be. So, you were sat cross legged on his bed, facing each other in deep conversation.

The man tried to defend his stance to you, “okay, I know everyone loves Tony’s whole asshole to hero thing, but Captain America went from this goody two shoes to this badass criminal and he still got the girl in the end.”

You shook your head, “you’re just wrong in every way. I’m not even saying Iron Man had a better story, but literally every other character developed more than Steve. He wasn’t that badass in the end, and the fact that he went back to get the girl just proves he never really changed all that much. He was static.”

“So, you’re telling me, if we watched every single movie with Captain America in it, you wouldn’t be entertained?” He crossed his arms and leaned backwards, eyeing you challengingly.

You scoffed, “the movies are fine, I just think that Marvel has produced better superheroes with better plotlines.”

“New plan, we’re going to watch every marvel movie in order and then you can tell me that I’m right.” He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV across from his bed.

Rolling your eyes, you moved back to lean against the headrest, legs spread out in front of you, “you’re not right, but I’ll watch them just to see the look on your face when you realize you’re wrong.”

Colson flopped down on the bed next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you so that you were leaning into his side. A yawn escaped his mouth, “if you get tired, let me know.”

You giggled, “I’m always tired, I just can’t sleep. I won’t get offended if you fall asleep though.”

He pulled a face, “I’m not falling asleep.”

About an hour into the movie the slow rise and fall of his chest indicated differently. You chuckled to yourself once you realized he had fallen asleep, turning further into his chest, and allowing yourself to get more comfortable.

Somewhere between 4 and 5 am, you found your eyes finally closing of their own accord, unconsciousness washing over you.

Day 17

Since starting your marvel movie binges with Colson, you’d found yourself getting more sleep. You couldn’t tell if it was from the movies or from Colson, but either way something seemed to be working.

Tonight, however, even your new routine wouldn’t lull you to sleep. You tried every breathing exercise in the book, but nothing seemed to work. Colson had fallen asleep a while ago, his arm wrapped around you as per usual, so you couldn’t talk yourself to sleep.

So, you decided to take a stroll around the house, hoping the small form of physical activity would help. But in order to get out of bed, you would have to find a way out of Colson’s embrace without waking him up.

You slowly and gently grabbed his hand and removed it from your side, laying it on the bed next to you. Then, you sat up slowly, only to be pulled back into his chest, “where’re you going?”

His voice was deep and gravelly, sleepiness very evident. You responded with a whispered, “I can’t sleep, was gonna go walk around.”

He pulled you in closer to him, nuzzling his face into the crown of your head, “but you’re so warm.”

You chuckled, cuddling into the man, “fine, I’ll stay.” You tried to close your eyes and find sleep, but again, none came. Sighing, you accepted that you would be stuck in your current position, realizing there were worse things than being wrapped up in a beautiful boy’s arms.

Day 25

“I know aliens probably exist, but do you think they’d ever take one of us to study?”

Colson chuckled at your question, “like a human in general or, like, you and me?”

“Like you or me. Do you think we’re important enough to be studied?”

He squeezed your waist, “I think you are in desperate need of sleep.”

Laughing, you responded, “I’m serious! And I have been sleeping, thank you very much.”

“Okay, fine. I think if aliens ever came to Earth, they’d probably be more interested in, like, genius billionaires or really dumb people, like people from Florida.”

You slapped his arm, “don’t be mean to Florida.”

You could feel the vibrations from his laughter, making you giggle. “Fine, but my point is they wouldn’t be interested in us unless they’re really into music.”

“Darn,” you huffed.

He raised an eyebrow at you, “you want aliens to take you and study you?”

Balancing yourself on his chest, you lifted yourself up to look down at him, “yes! That would be so fucking cool.”

He shook his head with a laugh, “you’re crazy.”

“Think about it, who else would be able to say they got studied by aliens. And then you’d know that you were important to someone, even if it is just alien scientists.”

Rolling his eyes, Colson pulled you back down into him, your hands still resting on his chest, “I don’t need aliens to know I’m important.”

“Well not all of us can be ubertalented rock stars with millions of fans,” you joked, a teasing smile on your face.

You glanced up to find his eyes trained on you, holding a softer look in them than you had expected, “I didn’t mean that.”

It took a few moments for his words to get processed by your brain, but you immediately dismissed the thought that he could be talking about you specifically. More than likely he was referencing his family in general, which you could be included in.

Day 31

To celebrate a full month in quarantine, the guys had decided to throw an in-house only party, which just meant that everyone had an excuse to drink together more than normal. You were staying mostly sober, knowing that otherwise the boys would most likely break something, most likely themselves.

You watched from your place on the kitchen counter as Rook, Baze, Slim, Dre, Irv, Dub, and Colson played a round of King’s cup.

“Y/N, you have to drink,” Rook called from across the room, “it’s a six.”

“If there’s no women playing then you just skip that card, Rookie.” You called but took a sip from your cup anyways.

Colson whined, “this is boring.” You chuckled as he moved away from the table to come stand by you, the rest of the guys continuing without him. He leaned against the counter next to your dangling leg, letting you run your fingers through his blond hair, “parties are boring now, Y/N.”

You could tell that he was gone, the alcohol having almost full control of him. “When we get out of quarantine, we’ll throw the biggest party ever, Kells,” you said, letting your hand fall to rest on his shoulder. The man grasped your hand in his and moved it back up to the top of his head, silently begging for you to continue. He turned into a cat, practically purring as he leaned into you, “hey, Kells, you tired?”

He shook his head, “no, ‘m gonna stay up with you, remember?”

You laughed softly, “it’s okay, Kells. You should get some sleep; I’ll be okay for a night.”

His arms wrapped around your middle, head burying into your stomach, “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

“You gotta let me off this counter for that.” This was a side of Colson you rarely saw; the drunk, very cuddly version of Colson. Occasionally he’d cling on to you when he got really tired, but that was in the privacy of his room. Here he was hanging onto you in front of all his friends, though granted they were too drunk to notice anything unusual.

You hopped off the counter, taking on some of Colson’s body weight in order to get him up the stairs and to his room. Truthfully, you planned to leave him in his bed once you got him there, but he had other plans. As soon as you moved to walk away from the bed, he grabbed your arm sleepily, “why are you leaving?”

Running a hand along his jaw softly, you softly said, “I’m gonna go to my room.”

He whined, “you never sleep in your room, stay.”

You bit your lip, unsure how to respond to that, “Kells, you’re drunk, you need some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep without you.” His eyes were glazed over, making his pleading look even more appealing than normal.

Sighing, you muttered, “yes, you can. I’ll be right down the hall,” but he wasn’t taking no for an answer, hand still firmly around your wrist.

“No.”

You rolled your eyes, climbing into the bed next to him, “I’m only doing this because you need to go to sleep.” He hummed in response to that, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tightly into him, leaving no room for you to escape even if you tried.

Day 37

Nights with Colson had slowly turned into every moment with Colson. You woke up together, ate breakfast together, spent time together. You were rarely separated for long, not that either of you minded.

At some point, the line between friends and whatever lied next had gotten blurred, but not fully crossed. You and Colson were touchy and cuddly during the day as well as at night, and everyone in the house was starting to notice it.

Part of you just wanted to kiss him and see what happened, but you knew messing with a situation like this could go very wrong very fast. So, you just left it up to him to figure out where this thing would go, knowing he probably wouldn’t make the first move either.

But as you laid in his arms, listening to his midnight ramblings, you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if you took matters into your own hands. You watched his lips move as he spoke, wanting nothing more than to lean up and press your own against them. Of course, you would never actually do it, but it was nice to dream.

There was a lull in the conversation which was spent with your eyes dancing across each other’s face, trying to figure out what to say next. Suddenly, he blurted out, “can I get your advice on something?”

You nodded in response, a soft smile on your face. He continued, “this sounds so stupid, but there’s this girl I’ve been talking to recently and I can’t figure out if she ‘s into me or we’re just really good friends.”

You sat up slightly, perking an eyebrow up, “well what signs has she given you that she’s into you?” Your heart burned, hoping he was talking about you. It was a feeling that had been happening a lot recently whenever you were around him, which was almost all the time.

He sighed, “I mean, we talk like, all the time about everything. And I think she flirts with me, but I’m not completely sure if she’s flirting or she’s just being friendly.”

“Well, what signs say that she’s not into you?” You ask, biting your lip to hide the grin forming on your face.

Colson hesitated, “I mean, none, really. I’m just scared of messing up our friendship, you know?”

You nodded, “well, you’ll never know if you never ask her. I’m sure it’ll work out.”

He was quiet for a long time, clearly turning the advice over in his head, “I would but, with quarantine and everything, I just don’t think it’s the right time. We wouldn’t be able to actually, you know.”

Your heart fell, realizing that there was no possible way he was talking about you. It felt like every bone in your body turned to Jell-o at the realization, a lump forming in your throat. “Right, well, maybe you could invite her over to the house. Or do a cute facetime date or something.”

He nodded but stayed quiet. You fully sat up, swinging your legs off the bed. “Where are you going?” he asked softly.

Something inside of you was slowly crumbling, and you needed to get yourself out of his presence as soon as possible, “I just need to take a walk, I don’t think I’m tired enough to get any form of sleep.”

Colson let out a small “oh,” as you stood up and swiftly left the room, tears forming in your eyes.

You felt silly for letting yourself fall so easily and for thinking that he might have felt the same way. But you could’ve sworn there was something forming between you two.

And how had you never heard of this new girl? How long had that been going on?

So many thoughts swirled around in your head as you made your way downstairs and out to the empty pool deck, pacing the familiar space. You tried to convince yourself that your feelings weren’t as strong as they actually were so that this could somehow be easier, but you knew it wouldn’t work.

The sound of the door sliding open caught your attention, your eyes meeting those all too familiar blue ones. “You okay?” he asked, leaning against the wall of the house. You flashed him a fake smile with a nod. “This doesn’t have anything to do with what I just-”

“No, no,” you cut him off, “I’m just restless right now, needed to get some energy out.”

He nodded, watching you cautiously, “I’m actually super tired, so I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll see you in a few?”

You nodded, knowing full well you had no intention of getting back into his bed, “yeah, goodnight.” You turned your head to the ground, studying the cement below your feet.

The door opened and shut, but when you looked back up, Colson was still standing outside, watching you. “I don’t know why I said that. There isn’t a girl in quarantine. Well, I mean, there is, but we wouldn’t not be able to see each other.”

Your head was spinning, trying to make sense of whatever he was saying. He kept talking, “I got nervous and chickened out and then you left and I felt like an idiot.” You looked up to him, confusion evident on your face as he continued on the borderline of rambling, “so I’m just gonna throw this out there and whatever happens, happens.”

You stared at him blankly, not fully processing his words or what was happening.

“Would you wanna go on a date with me? Or, like, whatever kind of date we can pull off here?”

Your eyes went wide in shock, the rollercoaster you had just been on emotionally twisting your mind. You didn’t speak for a few moments, making Colson nervous, but you finally got out a stuttered, “yes.”

He sighed in relief, “god I feel like such a teenager right now.”

You came back to your senses, narrowing your eyes at him, “do you realize the emotional turmoil you just put me through? I feel like I’m crazy!”

He chuckled, moving towards you, and wrapping his arms around your waist, “I know, I’m an asshole. But it was worth it, right?”

“I was literally rethinking my entire life out here,” you pouted, leaning into his touch.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

You rolled your eyes, “look who’s all Mr. confident now.”

The vibrations of his laugh shook your own body, “well, you said yes. This would be a completely different story if you had said no. Then I would be the one rethinking my entire life.”

You smirked teasingly, “I could always change my mind.”

He shook his head with a chuckle, “shut up.” His lips met yours, one hand reaching up to softly hold your jaw. You melted into the kiss, your arms moving to wrap around his neck loosely.

You pulled away slowly, a smile spread on your face, “this almost makes not being able to sleep worth it.”

Tag list:

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[muertawrites]

The Dark of the Moon (Zuko x Reader)

Summary: Late night insomnia turns into a conversation about love, and Zuko makes an interesting discovery about his feelings for you.

Word Count: 2,100

Author’s Note: You can thank Avatar being on Netflix and rekindling my childhood obsession for this one. I wrote this mostly as a dialogue / pacing exercise, but it’s also a bit therapeutic since I can actually relate to Zuko more than I realized or could have ever foreseen watching this show as a ten year old. Enjoy a little emotional romantic fantasy on behalf of a preteen crush and all the toxic friends I’ve ever had. ✌

~ Muerta

Zuko usually slept with you. It started one late night during a mutual bout of insomnia, in which you ran into him as you both wandered the halls of the Western Air Temple. You hardly knew him, but he sat with you and talked about everything that night - anything that wasn’t related to the war or either of your pasts that had been torn apart by it. He surprised you with his dry, even-toned sense of humor, as well as with his intelligence in not only combat but literature and philosophy as well; being a healer and a fortune teller by trade, you found a lot to talk about with him.

As the nights awake became more common, you and Zuko spent more of them together; sometimes you’d wait until you happened upon him in the halls, others one of you would designate a place to meet. Eventually, one of you would go directly to the other’s room and you’d sit, sharing whatever light or heavy thoughts happened to plague your minds. You learned a lot about him in those nights, and grew to feel proud of how far he’d come in such a short time - you often helped others, those much older than yourselves, over months to scale the internal struggles he had, and he’d managed to do so on his own. The more you gave to him, the more he gave back, and it soon became commonplace to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing as he lay in his sleeping bag on the other end of your room. 

And that’s exactly what woke you up - the strange, still energy of your bedroom that indicated his resting place was empty. You rolled over, unable to spy his silhouette under the moonlit windowsill, and you rose, your feet carrying you to where you were certain he would be. 

It was a gorgeous night, with a gentle breeze ruffling the crisp air. You found Zuko in the courtyard, gazing out over the fog veiled landscape under the swell of the full moon. Without a word, you sat beside him, watching the clouds roll by like ships on a silent ocean. His chest churned in turmoil, so intensely you could feel it in your own.

“Apparently, I can’t sleep without you anymore,” you said. “How selfish of you to have problems that keep you up at night.” 

Zuko huffed out a soft chuckle, though the weight in his chest didn’t lift. He leaned back onto his palms, craning his neck backward and allowing the wind to tousle his ash-black hair. 

“You didn’t need to come out here,” he told you gently. “It’s not your job to help me fix myself.” 

“It never has been,” you replied. “I’ve never fixed anyone. All I ever do is listen and recite a few proverbs; everyone comes to their own conclusions in the end.” 

“That’s not true,” Zuko retorted. “I’ve seen you heal. You can do things not even Katara can do, just with whatever happens to be growing nearby. It’s incredible.” 

You smiled, your heart fluttering in your chest. 

“Physical healing and emotional healing are two super different things,” you told him. “Emotional wounds can only really be healed by the people who have them. I mean, unless you want me to crack open your chest and poke around at your heart for a little while.” 

Zuko chuckled again, the tenseness of his muscles easing up just slightly. He opened his palm and spawned a softly glowing flame, both of you watching it flicker in the cool night air. 

“I wish I’d been born a water bender,” he mused. “Something that would do good for others. All fire does is destroy.” 

You were silent for a moment, watching the thoughts swirl, tormented, behind his eyes. You thought of all the times you’d seen him smile, how his happiness made his handsome features all the more radiant and caused your stomach to bubble with joy. The memory shot a spike through your chest.  

“... You know, we only ever see one part of the moon,” you commented, breaking the quiet. “Everything behind that - the dark side - we don’t really consider, even though it’s always there and is as much a part of the moon as the side that’s in front of us.” 

Zuko smirked at you, distinguishing the flame in his hand. 

“Reciting a proverb at me?” he teased. 

You grinned. 

“This one’s more like a metaphor,” you admitted cheekily. “That tea I make, the one that tastes awful but makes pain completely disappear?” 

Zuko nodded. 

“I need fire to make it,” you continued. “I have to roast the ingredients over an open flame before boiling them. Without fire, I couldn’t do most of my healing; it would be too painful without the tea to help.” 

Zuko said nothing, but you could sense your words sinking into the cracks in his troubled thinking. 

“Fire is heat and light,” you added. “It’s just as important to life as water or earth or air. Every element is capable of destruction or creation - there isn’t a single one that’s inherently good or bad. The person that controls them is the only one who determines that.” 

There was another long pause, in which you busied yourself noting the different wild plants growing between the stones that paved the courtyard. You listed the different medicines you could make with each, the process calming you. 

“I’ve done some pretty shitty things to people I care about in order to embrace my goodness,” Zuko finally spat. The bitterness in his tone stung you. You turned to him, and for a split second you caught a familiar, rageful glimmer in his eye; the sight made your own temper flare. 

“Zuko, don’t do that to yourself,” you said. “It wasn’t just your father who hurt you and you know that.” 

“I know,” he snapped, cutting off the end of your words. “I still care about her, though. I don’t even know if she really ever cared about me, but I still… I still miss her.” 

Your ribs seemed to cave in, crushing your heart and lungs. He’d told you about Mai many times, and all you ever saw was that the darkness in her drew out the darkness in him; it even hung over you, clouding out the comfort you felt with Zuko and replacing it with unease and doubt. You feared there was no place in his heart for you - not while Mai still remained in it, no matter how badly her memory made him bleed. 

“It’s hard,” you choked out. “I still miss some of the people who hurt me, too.” 

That was all you could manage to say. You pulled your knees to your chest, half-burying your face in the fabric of your night dress as you forced the tears welling in the corners of your eyes not to flow. 

This is what you get, you scolded yourself. This is what you get for feeling things for people you know could never feel the same about you. 

A sensation of warmth curling around your shoulders made you jolt. Instinctively, you inched away, glancing in Zuko’s direction as he retracted the arm that had draped around you. You expected him to look away, but he didn’t - his pale amber eyes instead locked with yours. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “You hold your head so high… I forget sometimes that you’re trying to heal, too.” 

His words caused your tears to spill, though you didn’t cry; your face remained stony, and no sobs shook you. Your tears fell as easily as water from a cliff’s edge, impeded by nothing but the will of gravity. 

“... The cards you lent me,” Zuko said after a pause, almost blurting the words. “I’ve been reading them, to help me let go of everything I left behind. I don’t think I’m doing it right.” 

A few weeks ago, you’d given him a deck of cards you used for fortune telling. Each card depicted a different object, element, or scene, and were laid out in combinations that gave insight into a person’s spiritual path. You liked them more than other forms of fortune telling, as it encouraged its readers to make their own assumptions and drive their own fates instead of having it simply told to them. You gave your deck to Zuko so he could reflect on something finite, instead of getting consumed by his own thoughts. It was exactly what you used them for, and you knew they would help.

“Why?” you asked softly. 

“I drew a card that didn’t make sense,” he told you. “I laid down the Tides, then the Crossed Blades, and then… I pulled the Badger Mole. The other two I understand - one is for movement and change, the other is for strength in allies, but I… can’t figure out what the Badger Mole is supposed to mean.” 

“Badger moles are strong, powerful,” you explained, speaking dispassionately from memory, “but they’re gentle. The card represents the duality of both. They mate for life, too, so it also represents love and companionship.” 

As you spoke, you felt a meteor crash between you and Zuko. His face fell, dumbfounded, as he looked at you, his eyes darting minutely back and forth as you watched the pieces mend together in his head. 

“What do you feel?” you whispered, part of you terrified of his answer.

“... I feel like I’m fighting the tide,” Zuko replied, his tone awestruck. “It’s pushing me to shore, but I keep trying to swim back out to sea.” 

The corners of your lips curled upwards slightly, your cheeks still sticky with tears. 

“It’s really scary, huh?” you said. “Loving another person.” 

“Yeah... especially when you’ve never known what it feels like before,” Zuko added softly. 

You reached out, tentatively resting your palm against his cheek. His hand rose to close over yours, the sensation trembling you to your core. 

“How many times have you pulled the Badger Mole?” you asked. 

“Every time,” Zuko breathed. “I’m so stupid for not realizing. You make me feel wild and calm all at once. I get this crushing feeling in my chest when I see you or even think of you, and I thought it was just fear or sadness. But… you don’t make me want to lash out like I used to, with my father and Azula and Mai… just the thought of you makes me want to be the best person I can be. Even though I know you already accept me for not being that person.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, somewhat defeatedly, your knees falling away from your chest and crossing in front of you. Your body was heavy, but your head felt light. 

“I love you, Zuko,” you murmured. “But I’m afraid.” 

Zuko wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. His forehead fell to rest against yours, his eyes closing as he steadied his erratic breathing. 

“If you’re scared, I’ll protect you,” he said quietly. “That’s what I think lovers are supposed to do.” 

The word made every organ in your body jump to your throat. Lovers. Your limbs felt weak, but your heart felt strong with Zuko holding you. 

Without thinking, you took his face in your hands and kissed him. It wasn’t hard and passionate like you expected, but firm, gentle, his lips pressing to yours like two palms grasped in an assuring embrace. He lay one of his large, able hands on the back of your neck, his thumb tenderly stroking your skin. 

When you finally broke apart, Zuko gazed at you with a soft, forlorn expression. His fingers reached to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I’m sorry I talk about her so much,” he said. “It must kill you.” 

You shook your head, a soft smile forming on your lips, still red from where Zuko had kissed them. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you told him. “I know some people from my past you’d happily drive a knife into.”

Zuko chuckled, the light, airy smile you saw when he was truly happy spreading to each of his cheeks. The spike that drove itself through your heart when you thought of it earlier was gone, replaced by the sweet warmth of a low flame on a cold night. With him, you were safe. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Zuko suggested, taking your arm to help you stand. 

His hand slipped easily into yours, your fingers twining together. He leaned forward and kissed you again, his lips only grazing yours, causing your skin to buzz with the sensation. 

“... Do you think we’ll have to talk to Aang about this?” you asked as you walked back to your room. 

Zuko raised an eyebrow at you, confused. 

“He is your great-grandfather,” you elaborated with jest. “I should probably do the chivalrous thing and ask for his blessing or something.” 

Zuko laughed, nudging you with his shoulder so that you stumbled over your feet. You shoved him back, to which he took you by the waist and wrapped you tightly in his arms, kissing your cheek. 

“He probably won’t care,” he replied. “But my uncle will love you.”

[hizashiiis]

Bakusquad + “Why are you awake” Part One

This felt like such a cute prompt! I had a lot of fun with it. The first part is Bakugo, Kiri, and Denki, and part two will be Sero, Mina, and Jirou!

Warnings: insomnia, exam stress, bakugo being angry

Bakugo Katsuki

- He often has to drag you to bed

- He acts like he hates your little night routine, but it’s honestly one of his favorite things

- He likes taking the trip down the hall to your dorm, knocking lightly, knowing you’re still awake, even if it’s pretty late

- He used to go to sleep really early, but now he tends to wait for your goodnight text before laying down

- It makes him feel better, knowing you’re asleep and resting before he drifts off

- But sometimes you keep staying up, not sending a goodnight text, so he has to go tell you to sleep

The students of class 1-A have pretty much gotten used to hearing Bakugo stomping down the hall to your dorm at night, but the hour actually surprises a few of them this time. They know that usually he’s banging down your door no later than eleven pm, but here he comes, angry footsteps and all, at 1:43 am. 

Muffled curses are spat in the general direction of your room, Katsuki not even really trying to keep people from noticing. He’s on a mission, little sparks igniting in his palms. 

He had not intended to let you stay up this late, but he had foolishly taken a nap right after training, and as a result, woke up around 1:30 am. He looked at his phone, searching for the goodnight text that must have come, but there was none. The two of you were a couple with principles, so he knew you wouldn’t have simply forgone the text. 

Reaching your door, Katsuki doesn’t bother knocking, opting instead to barge in with a friendly, “What the fuck are you doing up?”

You turn around quickly, abandoning the book you were lost in when you see his pissed-off expression. 

You didn’t really know what time it was. You had settled down with your book to wait for Katsuki about three hours ago, and you’d been wrapped up in the adventure ever since. But judging by your boyfriend’s face, it was probably well past time to go to bed. 

“Hi, Katsu.” Is the only response you can think of at the moment. 

“Hi, dumbass.” He mocks you, pointing to his phone, showing the late hour. 

Your eyes widen. It really is later than you thought. “Oh, no, I’ve really kept you waiting a long time. I’m sorry, love.” His expression softens slightly when he realizes you didn’t mean to stay up so long. 

He crosses over to you, putting a bookmark in your story, and pulls you into a hug. “I thought I told you about how rest is important. You can’t forget.” He kisses your forehead; an unusually soft gesture for him, and leads you to your bed. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. The book was just…” You start to yawn, settling into your covers. “It’s a really good story.” 

He listens to you talk about the book you’re reading and plays with your hair until you finally fall asleep. Pulling out his phone, he sends you his goodnight text, and walks back to his room. 

Kirishima Eijirou

- He’s a pretty late sleeper, but he starts getting a little worried about you if he notices you’re still up past midnight

- He’s usually training at absurd hours when he notices what time it is

- He likes to check on you some nights, especially if classes were hard that day

- Like, if Aizawa had been particularly rough to listen to that day or something, he’s right there at the end of the day

- On weekends, he brings you to his dorm to hang out, showing you things he found online

- Sometimes he just lets you fall asleep there

“Hey, my little pebble! Are you still awake in there?” He knocks at your door before stepping inside, noting the small piles of paper stacked around the room. It was almost exam time, and you had been a little overworked lately. 

You peek out from a blanket cocoon, eyes swimming after re-reading the same sentence about eight times. “Kiri? What’cha doing here?”

He looks over your shoulder at the work you’ve been doing and quickly tosses it to the side, scooping you up into his arms. “It’s Friday, baby! Did you forget?” His tone is light, teasing you, but you really had forgotten, and your head feels like it’s under an ocean.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve been studying pretty much since I got back here.” You raise your head from where it had been laid on Eijirou’s shoulder, looking at his features up close. His face looks so nice from this perspective. He’s smiling at you. 

“Don’t worry about it. Come on, it’s cuddle time!” Bounding out of your room, you in his arms, he looks so much like a kid. He’s very cute when he comes to get you for weekly cuddle time, always so happy to see you. 

“Is cuddling manly, Kiri?” You tease him as he runs, causing him to halt in his tracks, nearly dropping you as he insists that only the manliest of men cuddle with people as lovely as you. 

When you reach his room, Kirishima sets you down on his desk chair and tells you to wait there. His excited footsteps can be heard from behind you as he scurries around his space, collecting what seems to be a small mountain of things. He seems to have no regard for the fact that it’s quite late-- well past 1 am, in fact-- while he trips over things.

By the time he tells you to turn around, you’re both consumed with giggles. But all sounds fade when you face him. He’s holding a shoebox that’s been haphazardly decorated with red stickers, filled with comfort items. 

“Since you’ve been so worried about exams, I thought I might make you something. Pretty cool, huh?” 

“It’s amazing. Thank you, Eiji.” You give him a soft kiss, looking into his eyes for a few moments. Suddenly he seems to remember how late he came to get you, and his expression changes. 

“Time for bed!” He scoops you up again, ignoring your squeak of surprise to put you in his bed, covering you up with his favorite blanket and settling next to you for the night. You’ll probably both get in trouble for this, but that doesn’t really bother either of you right now. It’s late anyways. 

Kaminari Denki

- It’s completely the opposite for Denki

- He doesn’t sleep until the early hours of the morning

- Even if there’s something important he has to do the next morning, it’s really hard for him to get to sleep

- Because of his quirk, he always has a lot of energy, and it isn’t that he doesn’t want to sleep, he physically can’t sometimes

- Enter you

- Denki claims that you help him sleep better, and it’s possible that’s true, but it’s also possible he just likes having you close

- You’ve woken up to him staring at you a few too many times to be normal

- But anyway

- On nights where he can’t get to sleep, he has two things to try

- The first is calling you

- But he doesn’t want to bother you

- So sometimes he just waits, keeping his lights on way after he was supposed to turn them off, so that when you get up and walk past his dorm, you’ll come check on him

You’ve been asleep for hours already. It’s three in the morning, but you woke up suddenly with a strong urge to go get some water. Groggily, you throw the covers off and stand up, turning on the little lamp beside your bed. Your head feels heavy from sleep, and you exit your room slowly. 

The walk to get water is short, and on the way there, you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. It’s only after you drink the first few sips that you notice the light coming from under the door of your boyfriend’s room. 

Yawning, you walk over and knock. “Sunshine? You up?” You call out softly, so as not to wake the other students. A few seconds later, the door opens to an exhausted looking Denki clutching his headphones. His usual energy is nowhere to be found, he just looks tired. Still, though, he smiles when he sees you, taking your hand to let you in. 

“Hi, cutie. What’re you doin’ here this late?” He asks, rubbing his eyes. 

Taking a look around his room, you see the evidence of his lack of sleep. His phone is plugged into his headphones, and there’s an old episode of Parks and Recreation playing from his smuggled television. 

“Saw the light on.” You say, rubbing your thumb over his palm to get his mind to calm a bit. “I was worried you were still up. I was right.” You pull him over to his bed, moving various books and things off of it in favor of getting your tired boy to rest. 

He laughs sheepishly. “Sorry. I tried, but I couldn’t fall asleep.”

You shake your head, not needing him to apologize, but not really knowing how to convey that through your current sleepy state. 

You crawl into his bed, making grabby hands to get him to come with you. He happily follows, curling around you like a koala. He claps twice, and the lights turn off.

“Really, Kami? You have clap lights?” You say through giggles, looking at him in the darkness. He pouts, snuggling closer into you. 

“Shhhhh. They’re convenient.” He mumbles, already drifting into a deep slumber. You giggle once more, running your hands through his hair. 

“I’m sure they are. Goodnight Sunshine.”