#so u can go ahead call me a failure but ill never NEVER be like you

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Almost There

Pairing: Tony Stark x C.I.A platonic!reader (Gender neutral)

Request: The reader is a real life federal agent, and is task to go into the mcu to bring tech out. The reader is given a teleporter, fake ID, money, and a pistol. The plan is to steal a truck full of Stark tech and be transported back. When the reader enters the MCU they wake up in an abandoned warehouse. They spent several months gathering information, practicing and discovering what'sx different inside the MCU. One day they put the plan into action everything goes to plan until the transporter is broken at the rendezvous point. (From the real world point) The reader is then captured by stark and interrogated about them not existing. The reader in the end stays quiet but before they're arrested the battle of N.Y happens and they escape wondering what to do.

Warnings: some cursing, cocky reader, being rude to Tony Stark (sorry to Tony lovers)

Word Count: 1663

A/N: This was requested by @iawaythrown. Thank you so much for the request. I hope you like it. I also tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible. I’m sorry if I did not. This is not Beta read, so all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

I had a mission. It was all planned out, all I had to do was follow instructions. Of course things here never seem to pan out the way you want, and of course I was seemingly suspicious. No wonder he caught me. No wonder I’m now trapped here. 

Okay, I’m getting way ahead of myself. I’m not from this universe, reality, or whatever you want to call it. I’m from a world where this character was just that, a character! Now I’m here with no plan, no mission, no escape, and no Stark Tech.

Yes, you heard me right, I was after some Stark Tech, but here I am being interrogated by Tony Stark himself. Now, for how I got to this point, that’s easy. I’m a CIA Agent, and given the almost impossible task of gathering as much Stark Tech as I possibly could in a truck, and bringing it back to my world. Most likely to be used, or improved, to be given to the people in my time. You know, to speed up the process of technological advancement.

I never asked questions though, that wasn’t my place. All I know is that I had to come here with the transporter, gather as much Stark Tech, as discreetly as possible, and meet at the rendezvous point before anyone found out what I was doing.

Alright, enough of me summarizing what happened, and didn’t happen. Allow me to enlighten you a bit. I’ll spare you the details of the full mission brief, not very brief if you ask me, and get down to my adventures here in the MCU.

“You ready for this?” One of my coworkers asked, helping me prepare for my journey.

“I’m so excited. I have studied every single person I will be getting to know in this world. I spent hundreds of dollars, and did lots of bargaining to get every last copy of the comics for the 6 members of the Avengers. As well as all the Avengers comics.”

“You’ve worked hard for this mission. You seem more dedicated than usual.” They spoke, handing me my bag and wallet with fake ID and money.

We walked over to the transporter where everyone else was waiting. I was given one last bit of information on how to get out before I was told where to stand.

“Just a warning, you may feel a bit nauseous, or you might pass out on entry. Just find Stark and the others as soon as you can. We cannot waste any time.”

“Yes sir.” My commanding officer then starts up the transporter, and I’m sent away in a flash of white light.

When I awoke I was in a warehouse. I got up quickly, and walked outside. I had studied every map of New York City I could find. I knew how to get to Stark Tower from every possible place I could land. I started to make my way to the tower. 

My disguise was his new secretary, and I honestly thought that was a genius idea. When I got to Stark Tower, I was greeted by the doorman asking me for my identification. I gladly obliged and he allowed me inside, showing me to Tony Stark’s office.

“You are my new secretary?” He asked, laying eyes on me. He didn’t seem too impressed with me, but that didn’t matter.

“I am. If you have a problem with that, then I will see myself out. Just so you know though, you won’t find anyone better than me.”

“I see your people skills are lacking, but your persuasiveness is impressive.” He smirked, and showed me around.

I was in! This was my chance to get as close to him as possible without him realising why I was actually there. Tony started with his part of the tower. He said that it would be mostly off limits unless I truly needed him. 

The next part was my favorite. He was showing me where he came up with all his inventions, and that’s where I made my first grab. Of course he had to be something small that he would barely notice was gone, and a discarded prototype, which he showed me plenty.

This went on for about a month. I would always end up finding him in the lab, purposely of course. As he would leave, I would sneak a piece of tech. As time went on I gathered bigger and better tech and loaded them into a U-Haul truck that I rented to take back to my world. 

I only hoped that no one had caught on to what I was doing, but I didn’t think so. The day finally came, and I had to tell Tony I had to part ways with him. He seemed to really enjoy the work I was doing for him, but I guess I would just have to live with that I guess.

“Hey there is my favorite secretary.” He grinned, chuckling some

“I’m currently your only secretary.” I said, not very amused.

His grin faded, and he cleared his throat, “anyway, I want to show you something. My latest invention.”

My curiosity peaked, and I had almost forgotten what I came down to the lab for, “latest invention?”

“Yep, granted the project had been set back. For some reason I kept misplacing some of the tech needed to complete it.”

“You misplace things? That’s shocking to me.”

“I don’t usually, but for some reason more recently my mind has been clouded.”

“I wonder why?” I asked, being genuine. I may be stealing him, and making him think he’s losing it, but I’m not heartless.

Tony just chuckles, and brushes off the question. He always liked to share as long as there was a little pity to him, then he would move on. It annoyed me a little, but at the same time, I was used to it.

Tony led me to where his new invention was. He did warn it may not intrigue me, for it was more of an upgrade for his Iron Man suit. When he showed me, I was absolutely amazed. There would be no way that I could sneak this new piece of tech, but you bet I was going to try.

“Tony, I have something I have to tell you, and you probably won’t like it.”

“I knew it! All of my tech started disappearing after you showed up!” He jumped to conclusions.

“Uh, I was going to say I have to leave. My mother has fallen ill, and I am the last close family member to care for her. So, today will be my last day.” I spoke, looking confused at his accusation.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. What is she sick with, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She is in severe kidney and liver failure due to her heavy alcoholism after my father left her.” I said too casually, but he did not question me.

“So, where ya headed?”

“Maine. Specifically Augusta, Maine.”

“I see. It will be hard to see you go, but I understand how important family is. Before you go, come up to the penthouse, so I can give you a proper goodbye.” With that, Tony walked upstairs leaving me alone.

I knew him leaving me in the lab alone was a test. He was obviously on to me, and as much as I wanted to steal that new piece of tech, I had to leave it be, but I now had a lot of the tech to recreate it myself.

I of course did not want to say goodbye to Tony properly. He was just a pawn in a bigger game. I knew that I wasn’t playing a better, or bigger role, but more important than him. I made my way outside, and back to the abandoned warehouse where I kept the U-Haul truck. 

I climbed in and headed to the rendezvous point. I was of course nervous about everything going wrong now that I was so close to getting back home. I made it to my point, and it was almost time to head back. Though, when it was time to head back, something went wrong. I couldn’t get the transporter to work.

That’s when I heard a car heading my way. I couldn’t help but begin to panic, and I kept hitting the transporter button. That’s when I heard the car stop a few feet behind me. The car door opened then closed, but I dare not turn around.

“This is the opposite direction of Maine, sweetheart.” Of course, this was just my luck.

“Yeah. I realise that.” I was extremely frustrated at this point.

“Open the truck.”

“Absolutely not! You do not have the authority to search my things.”

“I could get the proper authorities involved.”

I glare at him. I was not going to be threatened like this, but I could not use my authority here in this world. I technically didn’t exist. Not to mention I would blow my entire cover and mission.

“Or you could come with me, and explain what you’re doing with a truckload of my tech.”

I had no choice but to follow him. I had to remain as innocent as I could until he had enough evidence to prove I’m not.

Now you are all caught up to now. Nothing else has happened since then. Tony has since left me alone, and hasn’t returned. I think I hear something happening outside. This may be the only chance I would have to run. You bet I will be making a break for it. If I no longer update on my story, assume I made it back home, or I haven’t been captured by Stark and his posse of weirdos. 

That’s it for now. Thanks for listening to my weird story. Just make sure to burn this once you have finished. Unless you’re Tony Stark, then you can suck it. Y/n out.

[dalyunministry]

Min. Olusola Babarinde Nigeria

💎

Praise the Lord. It is time for study. Thanks be to God and the leadership of this platform for the grace given me to share with us weekly. I pray God will keep us growing through his words in Jesus name.

Let us pray: Father we thank you today for another grace to eat to eat from you. We plead that you will help us to capture your mind as you reveal it to us today in Jesus name.

May we not disappoint you Lord. Thank you for answering us. In Jesus name. Amen

Text: Romans 8:35,38,39. What am about to share, is peculiar to our standing in the last days. I pray we all shall be blessed in Jesus name. It is end time. Surely things will be getting harder and harder on our faith.

Because Satan knows he has a very short time. It's end time, complacency will be costly.

This is because just as rain started suddenly when the ark had been locked by God and people were busy playing, partying, marrying, eating, shopping etc, so will Jesus appear suddenly in heaven...

Many of us need to be weaned from terrible habits of:

1. Opening Bible when we like

2. Praying when we like

3. Going to church when we like

(This number 3 started recently for some Christians due to covid but for some it had been their perpetual habit). But it is not even the aspect of spiritual laziness or lethargy that today's teaching is focusing, It is something else. But even if we don't proceed, and I stop here, am sure many of us had gained something..Haven't we?. Surely we have.

The topic as announced to us is: Won't you forsake Jesus?

It is coming like a question to us but a very serious question that is calling for deep sober reflection. Please think and think deep. The alarming rate at which professing believers are forsaking the faith even in the countries that God had once used to spread the gospel globally is calling for we the remnants that are standing to still ask ourselves this pertinent question and sincerely answer it.

Won't you forsake Jesus?. That is the topic.

Some people who are conversant with media will know that a lot of allegations are been laid against ministers of God these days. So surprising even against men of God that I as a person respect.. Sorry to say but pls let me mention one. Just for you to know how serious Satan is coming after our noble faith

And he is using Christians to attack not just preachers but Christianity. Who has heard allegation against Dr. D.K Olukoya? (A great denomination leader in Nigeria). Am not hear to say whether what they said about him is true or false. But my point is this, you as a person, won't you forsake Jesus if the media published something about your pastors with verifiable proofs that he really did those things?. Think deep on this.

Many things had been said against that man and other ministers of God, and like I said,

some may be true. while many may not true.

More things will still be said. And may be true or not true. But won't you forsake Christianity when such news come out against your leader or any prominent believer that you know? Don't hastily say yes, think deep

God forbid your leader will not backlide.

But if it happen or if the news is false, what will be your fate as touching faith?

What will happen if you hear that your Pastor impregnates 3 choir members?

Won't join the company of people whose slogan is; there is no pastor anywhere..

No purity anywhere

No holiness anywhere

No godliness anywhere

No need of going to church

Just have faith in God, u can serve him alone even in your house.

What if they come with proofs that your pastor used church money for his personal affairs?

Some people, even just because the children of their upright pastors are not upright, they have started compromising, how much more if it is now that there pastor that compromise? Such will abandon Jesus..

Are you solid in Christ?

Are your convictions rooted in him or in man of God?

It will be pathetic if the man you put faith in fail or people lie against him..

Your Christianity can become history. God forbid. With many Muslims apologetics, who are giving wrong interpretation to the Holy Bible, won't you be persuaded to forsake this noble faith (Christianity)? Don't just say NO. Many said NO both in UK and US but they are now praying 5 times in the mosque. So pathetic. The present day Turkey was the Ephesus of old. It was predominantly Christian country but today you can hardly see the traces of Christianity in that country. Won't you also pick offence from Jesus and abandoned him at the slightest chance or opportunity?

Romans 8:35,38,39. (KJV); 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Can we all hear from one man of deep and great conviction in the finished work and love of Jesus?. From the text above, the man Paul the Apostle even put us inside his own personal conviction..He said, what shall separate us. He did not say what shall separate me. He spoke for all true believers in Christ not just for himself only. With his deep knowledge of what true salvation is, he knew and opined ahead even on our behalf that nothing should, could, would separate us from the love of Christ. For a true believer, even fake message even when delivered by angels can't move him or her out of the love of Christ.

News about failure of a minister or ministers should not destroy your conviction in Jesus is you are a normal Christian. Only a tomato believer forsake faith when he hears the news of the misbehaviour of another believer....A time is coming and very near. When the hatred of the world for the church will be vehemently revealed and exercise through the media...At that time, what will happen to your faith? Even presently, this terrible media who don't pick news of pastors healing mad men, raising the dead, engaging in charity, but get good time to tell the world about a pastor (he may not even be pastor), who raped 7 years old girl..

Or pastor that bought jet. The same pastor that bought jet because of the great expansion of his work that will not make it easy for him go and que at airport and still meet up with his meeting in another country where he will still leave to go to another conference in another country. Hence for easy mobility, bought jet for his God given assignment.

Meanwhile, that same pastor sent relief materials to the poor in many villages, but the media are blind to that. No time for good news about the church but they are busy with spreading of bad news, with the intention of painting the church black before the world.

Haven't you because of news published by media about pastors buying this and that stopped paying tithes and offering in the church? Haven't online pastors poisoned your mind against giving to God's servant?. "They are enriching themselves with your heard earned money they said" and since then you stopped giving to God. What a pathetic backslider you are!

Let me tell you, if you give faithfully to God in Church with pure motive, the reward you would have received from God will not allow you to be questioning how what you gave was spent. Because you would be busy counting your blessing, so you won't have time to be investigating the way what you gave was spent.

This message is preparing us for the time of intense persecution of the Church and ministers of God through by the media, so that when that time comes for what is in us to be tested by challenges, we won't fail Jesus...

Listen to this as I close, anybody who discuss the sin and error of the church on Facebook or other media is not sent by God but been used by Satan to fault the Church and Jesus..

Except if it is in a very closed group which is only for Christians.

Never join such. Don't encourage their evils.

Even any pastor preaching on air ( YouTube, radio, Facebook, television etc) against other pastors is not doing God's work but possessed by Satan to destroy the faith of people in both Church and Christ. Avoid them..

On air we are to preach repentance and salvation to sinners..

While in conferences or church programmes, we address the inadequacies of the church.

By the time you speak ill of the church before the world, why should the world repent and join the already sick and terrible church that you have painted with very dark oil? If we paint and present church to be sinful, how will the world see a need for repentance? Instead, they will justify their own sinfulness with the error of the church we have given to them.

The message here is that, you don't give the message meant for the growth and perfection of those who have accepted Jesus already (Church) to sinners who are in the world. To such people, we preach repentance and faith in Christ Jesus. Such message will be okay for them. But if we dabble into talking about the error of the church before the world, we will be ignorantly sending men father away from the cross. And God won't take it lightly with us. Finally, the admonition is this: don't forsake the Lord because of news of compromise of ministers or churches either true or untrue. Hold the forth. The Lord will keep us safe in Him.

1. Lord keep me rooted deeply in you no matter what happen to your church and in your church. Thanks for joining the study. God bless us. Till next week. Shalom.

Closing prayer..Lord we thank you for the grace to study your word for our edification. We pray that you will keep us strong in you no matter how Satan tries to dissuade us. We beg you to keep us faithful to the end. Help our heart to resist the false news, and also help us to react positively to the backsliding of believers, so that Satan will not use such news to make shipwreck of our faith. Thank you for answering our prayers. In Jesus mighty name we pray...Amen..

[dent-de-leon]

lance’s character development in season 2: 

why it does exist and what it means for him going into season 3 

talking mainly about lance’s insecurity issues, his lion, his rivalry with keith, and what shiro’s disappearance means for him in the future 

It really feels like Lance is excluded from the group in season 2. Sometimes, this is his own doing—like when they all visit Ulaz’s base, and Lance volunteers to stay behind. The first time I saw that scene, it was weird. He’s notably absent. Later in Escape from Beta Traz he again removes himself from the rest of the team—not so much physically as metaphorically, but he does talk about everyone else in glowing terms before admitting he sees himself as Voltron’s “seventh wheel.”

Other times, circumstances are out of Lance’s control. In Across the Universe, Shiro and Keith’s lions crash together, and the episode ends up being a team bonding kind of thing. Lance and Hunk however deal with the opposite—In the Depths isn’t about them working together so much as how Lance operates without him. And we know that Lance is completely thrown when the mer people declare he’s their savior, doesn’t really think he’s a worthy leader. He wants to be, though. That’s why he insists on going to the Marmora HQ with Shiro, why he starts looking for opportunities to step up and do more. And when Shiro chooses keith instead? You can tell that rejection hurts. He wants his team to trust him, to be more inclusive of him. And even before that, when Allura and Keith take off together? Lance takes that as a personal offense. Again, he’s being left behind. Obviously, neither of these instances are meant to hurt Lance, but he takes them both personally nonetheless. Throughout season 2, you definitely get the impression that Lance is unconsciously distancing himself from the rest of the group. Even if they all agree he’s part of the team, Lance’s own insecurities keep him from seeing that. But more on that later.

For now, let’s talk about Blue lion a bit. Because if Keith’s mother was the blue paladin, that opens things up for lots of character development between the two. Keith squinting at all of Lance’s little habits and mannerisms, trying to see in him what Blue saw in his mom. Lance in turn trying to be more open, cooling off a little and learning to build a bridge. And of course, if Keith’s mom does have something to do with blue, we also get this lovely quote from Allura—that she wanted to “shield” shiro “from the paladins’ dark past.” Paladins here is plural. If Lance does end up uncovering more info on the last blue paladin, it might not exactly be what Keith wants to hear. Just sticking with the lion itself though, the fact that it’s found on earth says something about Lance. We know that he’s the most homesick of course. 

Another thing. Keith sensed blue lion a full year before its own paladin did, even though it wasn’t too far from Garrison grounds. Why? Honestly, I think that’s his alien parentage at work. Some people have speculated that Keith is also partially Altean, and can sense the lions via druid abilities like Haggar and allura. It could also just be the fact that he’s more hypersensitive as a galra—we know that black lion was built on a galran home planet. Or, returning to my first point, it could be Keith’s mom was the previous pilot. Either way, the fact that Keith even brings this question up, combined with blue lion’s questionable arrival on Earth and the notable absence of any information on how it chooses its pilot, I definitely think it all points to blue lion’s origins being explored a lot in season 3. And with that, a lot more focus on Lance too.

And if Keith does take black for season 3, will they do a complete throwback and have Lance take red while giving Allura blue? To be honest, I think that’s really unlikely. Lance is very attached to blue, which we see when he tells Keith just how “very happy” he and blue lion are together. We also see just how in tuned to his element he is during In the Depths. Like Pidge, he gets a whole episode devoted to his affinity for his lion's element. It renders the backdrop of that episode pointless if you say “Well actually, forget that, Fire is his thing now.”

In fact, everyone but Keith has actually demonstrated a bond with their lion’s element in VLD—Shiro projecting to the astral plane, Pidge in Greening the Cube, Lance throughout In the Depths—and I don’t think it’s pure coincidence ground guardian Hunk had a whole story arc dedicated to a golem like species that live beneath (and in harmony with) the Balmera’s lower crust. Hunk does describe Shay as a “rock” after all. Bottom line, Lance has shown a significant bond with both his lion and its element. And he really doesn’t want to give her up. Original red paladin or not, I don’t think he’s leaving blue anytime soon.

Now, another big thing for lance is his rivalry with keith. But this season, keith seems pretty mellow about it. He’s really not confrontational at all. When Lance snaps at him for talking about blue lion, you can see keith looks visibly concerned and tries his best to explain. Lance cuts him off. When Lance gets in shiro’s face about taking keith to the Marmora base, you’d think he would say something. Season 1 keith would say something. But he keeps quiet and just gets this kinda sad and accepting look on his face like “Yeah, you’re right.” The only time Lance baits him and he pushes back is when theyre trapped in the elevator. but even then, he’s not as irritated as lance, still tries to play mediator by telling him its okay and they’ll just sit on opposite ends of the pool, whatever.

They have more of a playful rivalry thing going in season 1, exchanging barbs back and forth. But Keith never really snaps back in season 2. More than that, he never instigates. He does hit him with the space spore like a snowball, but that was all the paladins playing a game, not a direct attack on Lance’s character like when Lance calls him out for how hotheaded he is. So why isn’t he as focused on their “rivalry”? Honestly, I think he’s too tired. Exhausted. Keith has other shit on his mind, stuff like, Wait I’m Galra?? and Shiro Wants me To Lead and he Might Die and Leave Me All Alone Again, F u  c    K. He doesn’t even entertain the rivalry thing because he’s got enough problems to deal with. But more than that, he knows Shiro won’t be there forever, so he takes up the initiative and starts to damage control by mediating on his own. I also think he’s starting to acknowledge that Lance makes good points about how impulsive he is. So instead of snapping back, he’s trying to work on that.

But Lance is still picking fights. Going back to how Shiro turns down Lance for the Marmora mission, I do think part of his resentment has to do with Keith and Shiro. Shiro spends all of Season 2 preparing Keith to be leader, but Lance—hell, no one else—on team Voltron knew this. To Lance, it just looks like Shiro plays favorites. And we see that he really values Shiro’s opinion of him. I mean, he spends a whole episode wallowing in self pity but it takes literally one compliment from Shiro to boost his confidence. He wants Shiro to see him as being part of the team, wants Shiro to trust him to take charge and do more. And we know that Lance sees Shiro as his hero, sees him as a brave pilot despite his critical mission failure—can you imagine? People at the garrison talking about Kerberos like it’s the greatest tragedy in the modern age of space exploration, saying the name in hushed whispers as a cautionary tale. 

The person who crashed, got his whole team killed, bright eyes and a warm smile beaming next to the scrawling phrase Pilot Error. Shiro should be Infamous. But Lance, a determined pilot who struggles with Fighter Class himself, points at him and proudly says, “That’s my hero.” Did he not believe the garrison reports? Did he believe them but still believe in Shiro’s integrity more? Kinda makes you wonder. Especially given his actual intro to shiro. Shiro thanks him, then goes in for a handshake—with his galra hand. Lance freezes. You see his hand literally stop and flinch back. He gives shiro this sad look, like he’s coming to terms with all the hell this guy must have been through. Then he smiles. Maybe because he never thought he’d be thanked by the garrison prodigy, or maybe it was just for shiro’s sake, to try and put him at ease. but you can tell in that scene that earning Shiro’s trust and respect means something. Literally all it takes is one compliment from shiro to pull him out of his melancholy in Beta Traz, to make him feel like the team Needs him.

Still, regardless of what he thinks, both Shiro and the plot sideline him a lot. He literally has no idea that Shiro often pulls Keith aside just to have these talks about Voltron’s future and his possible replacement. When Shiro disappeared? Keith knew. Hated it, but knew. Had a whole season to prepare and brace himself for it.

Takashi “that guy’s my hero” Shirogane didn’t think that critical information was worth sharing with everyone else—with his team.

So Lance never saw it coming.

And you just know Keith going “Yeah, Shiro and I talked about this a lot—in case something happens, I’m supposed to lead Voltron. We didn’t think to mention it to any of you guys though,” won’t go over well with Lance and everyone else. He’s going to be feeling a lot of things season three. Upset over the loss of Shiro, obviously. But also very hurt. Betrayed. Because why would Shiro trust Keith and not him? What makes Keith a better leader than him anyway? Why was Keith always getting ahead? Why didn’t Shiro ever think he could keep up? Why didn’t Shiro ever tell them if he was so sure he wouldn’t make it? He’s gonna be the one to really challenge Keith’s leadership.

Last note: sorry, I realize i didn’t really put in anything for Hunk and Pidge, but I’m thinking ill make the garrison trio a separate post. Lance and Pidge especially have lots of good bonding moments season 2

@aethergeologist thanks for the input! I hope this was what you were looking for

[walduissymavelleyq94insuran-blog]

I have HSA health insurance at my job and an HRA through my hubby. Can I keep the HSA quiet?

I have HSA health insurance at my job and an HRA through my hubby. Can I keep the HSA quiet?

I don t want my HSA to be my primary insurance because it sucks. My hubby s insurance is much better. I only want to use my HSA for prescriptions

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :cheap-insure.info

SOURCES:

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[phawareglobal]

Jennifer Gendron - phaware® interview 205

Canadian caregiver Jennifer Gendron has been working with the pulmonary hypertension community since 2003, when her son Braden was diagnosed at the age of five. She discusses Braden’s PH journey that ultimately led to him having a double-lung transplant at The Hospital for Sick Kids in September 2009. 

My name is Jennifer Gendron. I am from Hampton, New Brunswick. I am the mom of a young man [Brayden], who was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension when he was five, and received a double lung transplant nine years ago. He's now 20, so I guess you would call me a caregiver for life, but I’m. caregiver now of a transplant recipient.

The onset was very subtle. It took a long time for us to get a diagnosis. Looking back now, I guess there were lots of signs, from probably the time he was one or two years old, but very subtle. What really pushed the diagnosis, he was getting short of breath and had a persistent cough. They thought he had asthma. He was diagnosed that same summer with asthma, so he was four-years-old I guess, had just turned five. By fall, things were getting worse. We were finding that he wasn't able to walk very far. He was always complaining he was tired, wanting to be carried around. We had two little boys at the time, twins who were three.

Then in September, things got really worse. What eventually happened, he woke up one morning swollen. We thought he had an allergic reaction. When we took him to the hospital. They did an echocardiogram and discovered that there was fluid around his heart, and he was in congestive heart failure.

Because we live in New Brunswick and there's no Children's Hospital near where we are, they did some initial testing, suspected it was pulmonary hypertension. They were going to send us to Halifax, to the Children's Hospital, to confirm the diagnosis with a heart catheterization, but he was getting progressively worse very quickly, so we ended up being airlifted to Halifax. They were planning on doing a heart catheterization to confirm. He was sick at the time with a virus, so we ended up being there for about a week, before they could actually do the heart catheterization. And when they did, they confirmed the diagnosis.

We were absolutely shocked, because in the matter of a week and a half, we had gone from thinking we had a child with asthma, to being told that he had a terminal illness. Basically we were told at the time, there wasn't much they could do, and that we should take him home, and enjoy the time we had left, was the diagnosis we were given.

At the time, there wasn't very many options for therapy. Flolan (epoprostenol) was the therapy of the time. They were just in the midst of doing trials for sildenafil. We were told by the doctor at this point, who was not a PH Specialist, that we had two options. We could put him on Flolan, and he explained that it was an IV therapy. It was very complicated. He told us we could try this oral therapy, that they were just experimenting with. So that's the route that we went. At the time, I really wasn't ready to just take that at what we were being told. I fought very hard to get to a PH Center. That was in September. It was about three months later before we actually got to Toronto, and were seen in the Pediatric PH Clinic.

By that time, the sildenafil had started. He was improving, so we stayed with that treatment for probably a couple of years after that, but he did end up on IV. In 2005, he was diagnosed, we started on the sildenafil. Couple years later, when things started to deteriorate, by that time Tracleer (bosentan) had come on the scene, so he was started on that. He was on combination with those two oral therapies for another couple of years. But then things continued to progress really quickly. So in 2009, he was started on IV Flolan. He was on, at that point, all three of the drugs. He's our oldest, so we had two younger boys. They are not quite two years younger than him, who are extremely athletic, and wanted to play every sport that was going. As Brayden got sicker, that was always something that was really a struggle. We were trying to keep a balance in the house, and the let the younger boys do their thing, but it was very hard watching him get sicker and be able to do less and less, while they were running around doing more and more. That was a really tough thing.

In those years, he was the oldest, but the younger two were the ones that looked out for him all the time. They were always running and getting things for him, and helping him. It was almost like the roles were reversed. The little guys were the big brothers, and always taking care of him.

I guess it was probably about a year after he was placed on Flolan, things started to slip again. We had an initial transplant assessment, but then things to stabilize a little bit. We knew transplant was looming, but that we were going to be able to hopefully get a little bit more time. The next year he got sick with pneumonia. After that, he really never seemed to bounce back. We went back to Toronto, and did another assessment. It was time to really start thinking, “The window is closing here, if you're going to pursue transplant. The time is sooner than later.” We went through the whole work up again.

We live in New Brunswick, and being so far from the center added another layer of complication. So in order for him to be listed, we had to move to Toronto. In July of 2009, we went back, did another assessment. He was told that he was a candidate. By that time he was 11, and our younger boys were nine. It was a tough age, because at that stage he's old enough to be a little bit more involved in the whole decision making process. For us, I think that was one of the hardest things. It's this huge decision to make, whether or not you want to go ahead with transplant, and how much of it would be his decision, and how much would be ours.

The day that we made the decision, we were in Toronto waiting to hear back from the hospital, after all of the testing had been done. He had always told us that he hated hockey, and hated sports, and that they were really stupid. I think it was from all the years of being drug around, and not being able to play. So, we're sitting in a restaurant, my cell phone rings, it's the hospital. They said they just wanted to let us know all the tests came back, he was a good candidate, and that he could be listed. I told him, I said, "That was the hospital, and they said that you could go on the transplant list." And he said, "Yes! List me. I can't wait. I'll get some new lungs, and I'll be able to play hockey." At first I lost it, and I said, "You know what? There's our answer right there.” Obviously, there's a lot of things this kid wants to do, that he can't. It's time to make the next move.

We were incredibly lucky, because the whole process went really smooth. That was July. We went back to New Brunswick, packed up our stuff, rented a U-Haul and went back to Toronto. Got to Toronto in August. He was listed. We knew we were there for an indefinite period of time. We figured it would be months. We barely even got settled, a month later he got a call that there were lungs available.

He did incredibly well. A lot of people I know over the years have said to me, "If transplants a cure, basically why doesn't everyone go get a transplant?" It's not the simple, because you're trading one set of issues for another. You never know how it's going to go. You're taking another big risk. He's one of the really lucky ones. He's done incredibly well. He is a very determined, you could say stubborn, young man. They took the ventilator out in the ICU. The very first thing he said to me when he started coming to was, "I told you I could do it." He knew he was going to get through that surgery. Everything was, "I'm going to get out of the hospital. How fast did the last guy get out? Okay, well I'm going to get out sooner. How fast can I do this, and when can I do that?" Every time we would go to an appointment he would ask the doctors, "When can I play hockey?"

He was transplanted in September. His October check-up he asked, and at his November check-up he asked. In January, we went for the follow-up, and he asked the doctor again, "When can I play hockey?" I kept trying to tell him that he wasn't going to play hockey that year, that he had just had major surgery and he would have to wait. The doctor said, "Can you find a league where there's no contact?" And he said, "Yeah, I have." And he said, "Well, then I don't see any reason why you can't play right now." I just about fell off the chair.

Four months after his surgery, he was putting on skates and out on the ice. He played with a bunch of kids that were a lot younger than him. He could hardly stand up. He didn't remember ever even being on skates. He skated when he was little, but he didn't remember. So at 11-years-old, he started playing hockey for the first time ever. Then it was just one thing after another. It was, “what can I try next?” Just last weekend, he celebrated -  we call it his “re-birthday.” So nine years.

Physically he's done phenomenally well. Emotionally it's been a struggle a lot of the time. I think a lot of it was the age, being a pre-teen, being in middle school, and trying to adjust after being a kid who was sick his whole life, and what he remembered, and never having been able to do the things that normal kids his age could do. He really never had a time that he was super stable. A lot of the patients that I meet, do really, really well. Brayden never really got that well, that he was able to do a lot of things.

I think never having been able to be a normal kid, I say that loosely, but he just struggled with how to fit in. Even the dynamic in our house. We went from, being the guy who was always looked after by his brothers, and by his dad, and by [me] to being a kid who, "Well, you don't really need us to run and get that for you, because you're able to do that now." It was really hard for him to adjust to just being an average guy. The last few years, that's been the struggle. Not so much the physical side of things, it's been more of the emotional/social side of things that have been difficult. It's was super tough. Never really having to let him go do things, because he wasn't really able. So having to try and let go, and let him take the normal steps. It was tough. It was a big adjustment.

I guess for me, a lot of it was maybe not wanting him to do things. The hockey for example, all these things thinking, "Oh my gosh. Is he going to get hurt? Is he going to be okay?" I remember him saying to me one time that I was worrying over something he wanted to do, "Mom, I didn't go through all of this surgery and all of this stuff so that I could just sit back and watch other people. I want to live my life."

So, when you hear something like that, it's like, "All right. You know what? It's true. He didn't go through all that, to be held back from things he wanted to do." So it's just like, "All right, you got to just let go." It's still hard. I mean, today it's hard. He's 20, so it's getting even harder, because now he's an adult, and he's out there wanting to do things. We have let go a little bit more. He doesn't want to hear his mom say, "Did you take your pills today? Have you done your pulmonary function test?" He doesn't want to listen to that right now, but it's hard to not still want to look after him.   

My name is Jennifer Gendron, and I'm aware that I'm RARE.

Learn more about clinical trials at: www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials Never miss an episode with the phaware® podcast app. Follow us @phaware on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube & Linkedin Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware  @antidote_me @PHACanada #PHUnited #LifeInPurple #YoungWithPH

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

[iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog]

Renault Clio insurance for a 17 year old girl in Coventry?

"Renault Clio insurance for a 17 year old girl in Coventry?

I turned 17 last week, and plan on buying a Renault Clio for less than 1000, (about a 2001 reg). I have trauled all over the internet and cannot really find a decent quote anywhere, so I was wondering what an approximate cost of insurance would be? Thanks! Or if not, what are the best suggestions for a first car? Cheap insurance very important!!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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?

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im currently unemployed and have the medical cARD AND MY CHILDREN NEED BRACES WHAT OTHER LOW COST INSURANCE COULD or should i get for them to be able to get the braces they need

How much to insure audi 80 tdi (1.9 litre) ?

I am soon to be 17 and take my driving test, I have an audi 80 tdi being offered to me for 50 with the only fault being a broken break light. It is a 1.9 litre diesel and is apparently (according to the internet) cheap to fuel. Insurance no doubt on a 2.0 litre would be expensive. On the car insurance websites I get quotes from around 6500> I've heard however that the price on the websites is exaggerated and actually the price is much cheaper. How much do you think it would cost me to insure ? How could I reduce this cost? Is it worth getting a pass plus certificate? If the insurance on this IS a ridicuous price as it says on the insurance websites, what saloon car is cheap to insure? (preferably with a modest engine size:P) Thanks""

Affordable health insurance/maternity coverage?

My husband and I are considering trying to conceive our second baby in the next few months. Only problem is went husband works construction and they don't offer insurance. We have private insurance but it only covers preventative. Have you ever been in this situation? What solutions have or did you find? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

What's reasonable insurance quote for new driver (UK)?

Hi Everyone! I'm a new UK driver searching insurance quotes for my Ford escort (engine size 1.4). I'm thinking third party only for starters. What sort of ammounts should I consider to be reasonable offers? Also, must I pay the premium in one lump sum? P.S: I'm 23 years old... Cheers!""

How much would insurance be for a jeep Cherokee?

i am planning to get a jeep cherokee or wrangler and want to know how much car insurance would be. i am 16 and want to know how much money i should pay insurance to see if it is in my budget.

Im looking for cheap insurance on a land rover series 3 im 17 years old where is the cheapest company?

what is the cheapest insurance company or cheapest option???

Is $110/mo a good price for motorcycle insurance?

I'm 18 years old, i have no tickets or citations on my record. It's a 250 cc kawasaki ninja.""

Is health insurance portable from state to state ?

If I purchase health insurence from a company like Coventry One of Kansas and move to Florida, can I take the Coverage with me ?""

If I have homeowners insurance do I have to have hazard insurance as well?

I have home owners insurance already, do I need to keep paying hazard insurance? I live in New Mexico.""

""Car insurance, color, and does it really matter?""

Ok, made my decision, going with the new 2007 Mazda 3 S (with the 2.3 ltr engine and all that good stuff...not really sure on the sunroof though, it's kind of pricey) My question...s are: 1. I was told that if I got a loud color on a car that I would regret it for a couple of reasons. It attracts the cops to pull it over more and it could potientally higher my insurance. Is that just some kind of myth to scare people away from getting a nice color like red or yellow? 2. And secondly, what's a good color to get? Something that's easy to clean, but still shimmers and looks nice. I was thinking about the Aurora Blue. Everyone has black and silver cars? 3. I was building the car and I don't want to pay close to 21k for this car, it's worth a lot, but not that much. How much should I ask for? Now I've already gone to edmunds.com, it seems pretty helpful, but should I wait until they get the 2008 Models in and then try to buy the older model?""

My car insurance is too high under parent's name?

My sister added her car under my mom's insurance and they pay for both cars $347 dollars 6 months for just liability coverage. When I tried to add myself to my mom ...show more

Whats the cheapest car insurance?

I am a 23 year old male, with one wreck on my record from a few years back, I have a 2012 Mazda 3 what do you think would be the cheapest way to get car insurance? I currently have geico, with a 1000 deductible for basic comprehensive and collision, and I'm paying 175""

What car insurance do you have and do you like it?

I'm about to get my license and my parents asked me which insurance I want. I want to know your personal experience with your insurance company and would you recommend them? Judging by what my parents have explained to me so far I plan on getting full coverage not the bare minimum just because its cheaper (which is stupid in my opinion). Right now I'm driving our 2007 Mitsubishi eclipse but my parents plan on giving me the Saturn since the eclipse is more my moms car than mine. Do you know approximently what it will cost to insure the saturn. Also what do you think makes your insurance better than others?

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

How can you figure out how much insurance will cost before buying a car?

Insurance companies scoop on value of totaled car?

If the market in your area is much higher then what nada is, the insurance is going to do a market analysis. How far can they legally go out. Meaning how many miles. If I am in ...show more""

High risk auto insurance?

Guys, Please what is the Best Option Online for High risk auto insurance, i am looking for One Just In Case Thanks""

Insurance company that covers all my insurance needs?!?

would like to send one simple payment to one company for all or atleast most of my insurance needs. is there such a company and i am located in texas if that means anything.....thanks (car, motorcycle, home, medical, dental, life, etc...)""

How could higher deposit insurance premiums for banks with riskier assets benefit the economy?

How could higher deposit insurance premiums for banks with riskier assets benefit the economy?

How much health insurance in Alberta and Car insurance?

Hello, I'm planning on moving to Canmore, AB after I'm done school and I'm just wondering how much Health insurance is monthly and how much car insurance is monthly? I would be very greatful if someone could help me out here :) and if you know anymore details about this kind of thing that would be great also! Thank you! xo""

Do I need car insurance to drive into Canada?

I'm driving through Vermont to Montreal. I need to know if I'm required have auto insurance to cross the border in my car? Will the border agents ask for my car insurance.

Cheapest car insurers. for a 1997 citroen ax?

third party fire and theft. who is the cheapest insurer for this.thanks

Renault Clio insurance for a 17 year old girl in Coventry?

I turned 17 last week, and plan on buying a Renault Clio for less than 1000, (about a 2001 reg). I have trauled all over the internet and cannot really find a decent quote anywhere, so I was wondering what an approximate cost of insurance would be? Thanks! Or if not, what are the best suggestions for a first car? Cheap insurance very important!!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-would-car-insurance-cost-2002-2003-subaru-wrx-edward-taylor"