#social cues are hard for them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sideshow-cellophane-blog · 8 months

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Short rant. That moment when you realize how drained the people around you make you feel as the mom friend. It's hit me.

Not even just as an introvert. I feel like I'm never listened to by the people I surround myself with. I keep speaking my mind and I'm ignored, but I keep giving and they'll keep taking. I stop giving, and they'll find a way to take ("I think I'll help myself to *something I didn't ask permission for but I'm taking it anyway*" or "it's your fault for working these shifts so we can't hang out even though I know your schedule" or "oh you need a shoulder? Well I'm in more pain than you are and I'll tell you why instead of let you continue").

I feel like I'm taking care of children more than I am hanging out with friends. Like dang. I'm the mom friend. It doesn't mean you should treat me like your mother. I've been really hurt by these people and it's started to affect my self esteem and mental health. There are these little interactions that have built up over the years and snowballed into bigger issues because they do what they want without thinking of others. I've gotten a few apologies for incidents but it's only when I bring it up. Obviously I can't control anybody. But not willing to meet in the middle is a common theme within our circle.

A few instances have occured most recently that have made me seriously introspect.

#introvert #introvert things #my friends are also undiagnosed autistics so it's hard to be mad at them #but they can be really rude and use autism as an excuse instead of apologizing when i say i'm upset #social cues are hard for them #me too #but it's frustrating #one time I made them cookies at our place and one friend was being super rude that I kept getting up to check on them #like telling me to shut up in our conversations and name cqlling #we are adults #i have a job and a roommate #even she takes my food/candles without asking sometimes even though she makes four times as much as me and can afford her own #there have been several instances of the really autistic friend telling me to shut up over snd over until I do #then she turns to her favorite friend so they can joke around like a complete 180 #i think i'm just really angry and frustrated and this has been building for a few years now

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cemeterything · 5 months

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i gotta talk about my low empathy james fitzjames headcanon actually. i prommy i don't use it to excuse any of the acts of violence he committed against his fellow man (not just the colonialism either, but things like the petty rivalry with crozier that borders on bullying prior to the death of franklin) because as a low empathy person i know that's not how it works. but i do think that viewing his actions through a lens of understanding that both circumstances such as his birth and being a part of the british empire as well several choices he's made in life (particularly his sycophantic attitude towards those in positions of greater authority whose favour can work in his and his participation in active combat) have led him to become broadly alienated from other people and both their and his own emotions makes them more interesting.

#🐉#because like. he fucks up in social interactions in a way that screams low empathy to me.#particularly in conversations with franklin where he sucks up to him too hard and fails to recognise franklins growing displeasure #until hes shoved his foot in his mouth. and the way he defaults to clumsily rehearsed social cues ('hear hear') and statements #which betray an incredible lack of sensitivity to the tone of the conversation being had.#theres a strong sense of a man trying to fumble his way through a darkened room to his social interactions #the moment that the framework he relies on to successfully navigate them is stripped from him #fitzjames

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ourhouseishaunted · 1 month

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people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

#.txt #dungeon meshi #laios #like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time #with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell #<- source: im autistic #but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it #intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick #or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away #like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally #driven people away #and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people #is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it)#on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me #and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them #and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong #to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else #but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out #of their way to remove nuance from characters :/

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vetteldixon · 3 months

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i'm never not gonna get emo over scott dixon saying that his favorite part of the indy 500 is bringing new people there and watching THEM react in wonder to the awesome scale of it, and that his favorite part of being a dad is sharing all the beautiful things in the world with his kids...

#scott dixon #indycar #when your emotions are so big you find them easier to handle when you see other people experiencing them too. yup yeah.#and/or if you have a hard time validating your own emotions and knowing if your reaction is appropriate so social cues are a comfort. me to #there's a third quote that goes with it but i'm not sure if i'm remembering properly and yeah i'm gonna stop right there

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einsatzzz · 23 hours

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art time-lapse of this piece that i posted in IG b4 to try out doing reels. i really like how this turned out overall plus "yasashii suisei" (link for eng tl) really fit the vibes so im queueing this here too

#khr #khre #khr oc #oniyanagi #hibari kyoya #ninomiya kanako #oc #hibakana #einart #tags yapping abt hibakana ahead 🫡#the quote that inspired this one still lives rent-free in my brain #“my alone feels so good i'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude”#both of them are the type of people who likes to move on their own and dislikes being restricted #and they thrive that way without needing to look out for things like social cues/other's perceptions/the will of a “majority”#there's this certain type of independence that i rlly admire for each of these two characters #if they don't feel comfortable with a person #or if the person's company does not spark any joy #as much as their peace and quiet does #then why would they even hang out and spend/invest time with them amirite? theyre not abt that fake life #nowadays its very common for me to hear abt boomers asking ppl when they're gonna get an s/o or marriage #or just others forcing ppl to conform with the social norms and what's considered as “normal”#so these two rlly bring me a lot of comfort #on their own; if i were to depict them on separate stories #khre aside and just considering khr; idt id ship hibari with anyone; he would be my a-spec king icon idol and legend who does wtv he wants🫶#kana too mdbxndbddjbd her previous version b4 this had another oc/canon ship but i don't rlly fck with that anymore (still funny tho)#(i realized that that previous ship rlly held her back character-wise---)#(but their (potential/established) platonic relationships with other characters are so *chef kiss* tho--working hard on brainstorming that)#on the other hand i started shipping hibakana for the comedy of their dynamic lmao (it should be around b4 sou & i reached kokuyo arc)#“wouldn't it be funny if---”#its just a joke there's supposed to be an “/hj” somewhere there i didn't know they would suit e/o's characters & personality this much wtf

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sharkdays · 4 months

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im gonna be real i think i might be on the aro/ace spectrum

#i mean ive kinda known this for a while #ive just never really cared because idgaf about labels anymore #but like. im pretty sure a friend of mine is interested in me. and idk how to feel or handle it #kinda having a crisis here!#not about my feelings (or lack of them) but about. this whole thing. like their potential feelings #i dont like it. get me out of here. emotions are hard !!!#i am typically very oblivious and i dont get social cues super easily #so im kinda really hopinh im just reading too much into this.#anyways. good morning #shark speaks

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marc--chilton · 1 month

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You're so real for talking about the actual world building of mgv brooo, so many ppl are just like "what if we made more genders specifically so we could make the gay relationship basically straight ppl porn 🤤" AND LIKE NO BRO THERES SO MUCH COOL POTENTIAL WITH A WORLD WHERE ALL THESE NEW SEXES WERE NORMAL

(Sorry im being a little insane but im so hyped someone else gets it the way i do)

holds your face in my hands in a clawlike grip. never apologize for being insane. be so fucking insane, dude.

GAY STRAIGHT PORN YEAH IT DRIVES ME CRAZY SOMETIMES if the spice of the fic just comes from sexual tension and how if they self lubricate then you don't have to worry about figuring out where they can get lube to fuck on the fly or WHATEVER

THINGS WOULDN'T BE ONE TO ONE WITH OUR REALITY NOT JUST BECAUSE OF NEW SEXES BUT NEW SEXES THAT INTERFERE AT TIMES WITH NORMAL WORK WEEKS N SHIT!!!!! like irl some people can't even get a break at work for having babies and these mfs are going into debilitating estrus cycles semi-regularly?? THERE ARE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

#asks #anon #i've been posting more about pre-rut/heat cycles more than the full blown things themselves #because the hormones raging hell on moods and temperaments and judgement etc #that shit is INTERESTING!!!! and they can live their truest selves because growling/purring/animal like shit is not abnormal behavior #which i would take advantage of in a HEARTBEAT first of all #like i imagine it would be rude to make those vocalization sometimes (one of those silent rules you're supposed to innately know)#(even if no one explains it and you don't think it's rude)#(got being neurodivergent in mgv must suck so fucking hard what if you can't read social cues)#SEE like i have Some Thoughts and very few of them are about how fat whose knot is or whatever #very few. but not none. i'm only human #mgv

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icat4ever · 1 year

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Carl Gallagher is autistic. It all makes sense to me

#carl gallagher #is #autistic #autistic carl gallagher #HES AWWTISTIC I SWEAR #HE CANT EXPRESS HIS EMOTIONS WELL #HYPERFIXATION ON MILITARY AND SHIT #He’s so much naive as he is just not good at picking up social cues #when he was talking to lip and Ian about the Gonorrhoea thing #it was clear Ian and lip were hinting at her cheating on his with they face and yk awkwardness #but Carl didn’t pick up on it #he tends to look pretty stoic and emotionless even know we know by what he’s saying and by how he’s acting that he cares #when he saw the murder he didn’t cry he yk talks very literally of his emotions. he just states what happened to him and people understand #his emotions even tho they don’t present #when Monica cut her wrist #Debbie was sobbing so hard #carl also came to see Fiona bc he was clearly traumatized but even tho he didn’t cry or didn’t display emotions #but we know he has them yk so it’s not so much sociopathy.#he obviously has a conduct disorder bc of trauma and abuse #yk like he talked about Monica and frank beating him #having cd with autism is pretty common too. violent behaviours bc of it is very common. on common thing is violence against animals #history of weapon use.#and having been sexually assaulted. that’s pretty common signs #idk maybe im tripping but I feel he is #shameless #fiona gallagher #tbh I’m not sure but yeah. some people have said he has bpd or adhd but tbh having autism and cd can definitely mimic those #IDK IT JUST MAKES SENSE #he has trouble at school. sometimes schools don’t offer correct learning strategies and stuff so he has difficulty #Carl has been shown to have very low grades and to be pretty much illeterate

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boschlowtxt · 1 year

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boschlow is so undeniably an autistic ship

#not only are they themselves autistic #but also a large portion of boschlow shippers are also #including me bro #boschlowtxt #boschlow talks #boscha struggling to make friends and not understanding social cues #and only having perfected ONE spell and uses it for EVERYTHING?#meanwhile willow gets ostracized for being a ''weaker'' witch not only by her peers but by her teachers as well #because she doesn't ''try hard enough''#fuck that abomination teacher btw #NOT TO MENTION WILLOWS WHOLE ''out of sight out of mind'' mentality can be a form of masking #and how boscha acknowledges that they both don't wanna be seen as weak? because otherwise everything falls apart?#i hate them both so much /affectionate

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technicolorxsn · 6 months

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eugh

#rly feeling the negatives of autism rn #social shit is so hard... i hate all the stupid games and how im expected to know all of them #i need to always know how and when to react and what all the dumb cues mean #conversations with some people are like pulling teeth and its awful especially when its people i genuinely like being around #and assume feel the same #but i cant help but doubt when im given nothing to work with #i have so much trouble in person...

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bullsandthebones · 1 year

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currently indulging in an autistic character being able to get into a relationship that's healthy and happy bc I cannot do that myself

#sobs and cries #bones speaks #most of the time i dont think of my autism as a hindrance but sometimes - especially during social interactions - it feels that way #i feel as though i cannot understand social cues no matter how hard i attempt to learn them #i never know if i have done something wrong and no one will ever tell me so i sit in my anxiety and i worry #sometimes i wish i could be able to interact with people as smoothly as an allistic does with other allistics #i can't even talk to some of my friends without masking and attempting to read every cue sent my way #because if i don't i get berated and shouted at #wow im sad - vent/rant over

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shrimp1y · 2 years

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sorry to the few ppl on my dash I am not spam liking on ur blog ur just the only ones on my dash

#krill livestream #and i like. stuff. when i like them. bc im like Hehehehe I will use this button as i9ntended #my autism knows no bound i wish I was funny and charismatic online but no. i am just as strange as irl. its also bc ive decided to unmask #more so I'm not like. Forcibly overthinking my reactions and talkin anymore. so what if I just talk to myself in tags most of the time.#makes me happy when people see it and give me a little like (button used as intended)#like i definitely have a reason for mumbling to myself in public instead of journalling its bc i do wanna be seen and i do want to interact #i am just. like this. its better than when i used to argue with people on the internet for social interactions #basically i just. dont try too hard to micromanage social interactions anymore. this means i might end up saying stupid impolite shit or #do a lot of social faux pas but i hope. nice people understand. like im not gonna be rude on purpose im not trying to be flippant #like as much as nd folks thrive online even within nd circles there are so many social cues and rules that can be unfamiliar #ngl i have many times deleted a reblog with long ass tags bc i was like wait what if im overstepping. but i dont reblog it #bc im like well. feels untrue if i reblog without thoughts when i do have thoughts #nothin against op or anyone im just. i . im like I do Like It but yknow better to keep my tags to myself #bc sometimes they are terrible mind you like i fully agree if you see smth ignorant come outta my mouth and ur like hey.#keep that to urself. id be like banger thanks sorry filter doesnt work

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robofile · 1 year

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They way dating apps take try to advantage of pepole with not granting what should be basic features and instead trying to make ppl pay 20$ so you can scroll back to somone you acidentaly swiped away from is so fucking sucks

#also i had like one conversation with somone and im already so over it like texing ppl already makes my brain fucking cough and hack and #wheze to death but texting strangers i dont know just cuz were both queer is so fucking dull like #girl i just wanna hang out like i cant tell if this conversation is just us trying so hard to #bore achother to death or what but theres nothing happening and now were both trying to act nice abt it #r0b7 #its so much more fun to just run into someone weird and click with them just as freinds or just whatever like 🙄#sorry im so salty cuz over text like 60% of my personality is just gone and theres no social cues for me to try at its just #nothing its so lame #im so bitter rn like 😭

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senxitive · 2 years

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I have such a hard time telling between friendly intent and romantic pursuit. How do you distinguish them?

#im being serious #it's hard in general and then too its hard to tell where your projection stops and reality begins #yknow what i mean #like if i like you but youre being friendly towards me does my brain automatically apply some delusional filter that its more than friendly #or is it that it really is more than friendly and youre playing it LK?#this is so specific that no one would be able to answer without knowing the examples and situation lol #i just....man i have a hard time deciphering social cues #only when it comes to me tho!#like i could tell you from 82 miles away when 2 other ppl are more than friendly and they obvi are both pursuing each other even if i only #saw them share a single look or exchange one word #but boy when it comes to me i am dumb as hell #im like oh you sprinkled rose petals to my bedroom with lit candles haha thats so sweet they must like me as a friend #<- that obvi isnt a real example but i feel that dense

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lucarioguy15 · 2 years

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wanting to fuss over someone 24/7 because you know they’re in a shit situation and you wanna do something to ease their pain vs not wanting to be overbearing and clingy and annoying because despite your best wishes you cant actually do anything tangible regarding their situation save providing emotional support that just might be adding to their stress because you want to fuss over them 24/7 vs not wanting to leave them alone because they might need you for support and might be too shy or awkward to ask for it directly so you provide said support 24/7 via fussing despite ONCE AGAIN possibly being annoying them because you just DONT KNOW what to do in this situation that would be useful

#basically i worry #and i worry about the people i love three times as hard #and so im perpetually yearning to tell people how much i love and care for them but also not wanting to get in their face about it #and im constantly fussing while worrying im too overbearing #aaaaaaaaaaaaa why cant i just get social cues!!!!!!!

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whimsyprinx · 2 years

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i really hate that I have a quote on quote “miserable” neutral expression and that i can’t control/be aware of my tone of speaking often and that I can’t really pick up on social cues because that leads to people at best asking if I’m okay or at worst (and most common) telling me that I look miserable all the time or that I’m being rude or a bitch and like it truly starts to take a toll on a person after having to hear it so often

#whimsy whispers #its made worse by rsd #so it’s just like having to deal with the fact that people are going to make negative remarks like this about you because they think you’re #entirely negative for things you can’t/struggle to control #like i know my face looks fucking miserable even when I’m trying to take pictures I look dead inside I’m freaking aware #i also know I have trouble sounding genuine/often sounding sarcastic when i speak #i got yelled at over it by my roommates dad one day until my roommates had to keep explaining that I just sound that way and don’t mean to #like I try to not speak like that but it’s not something I’m always gonna catch because that’s literally how I speak!!! this is my tone of #speaking!!!!#similarly (kinda) I have a huge problem that I match the tone I’m spoken to in which means if someone speaks to me in a snappy tone I match #it and that’s something I am actively trying to stop doing as well #and then like because of nd stuff but also having been very isolated from other ppl growing up I don’t know social cues well #and so I fail to pick up on them and look like an ass because of that and it’s not that I’m not trying to fix these things I am trying so #hard but it’s like Hard ya know???#idk just like being told I’m mean or a bitch or having my roommates boyfriend constantly say ‘you look miserable’ ‘’you look like someone #killed you dog’ (he has said both 3+ times to my face) gets tiring #like why do I have to listen to that shot #shit *#why do I have to explain constabtly that this is just how I freaking look and talk #i hate it so much it makes me literally want to cry #doesn’t help that like being told I’m mean for some reason makes me extremely upset so lol #this is like a very nd thing I think at least because my other nd friends have this same issue #because I vented about it earlier this week and they were like same!!! like I get tired I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid I #just want people to leave me alone about it #i wish my face was miserable looking enough that people would be too scared to approach me and say shit like this

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