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Sam: If I die, would you remarry?
Max: If you die, I'm putting the romance in necromancy and bringing you back.
Sam: Are you really performing dark rituals to keep me alive?
Max: I said "I do" through sickness and in health, and I meant that as a threat.
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on similar topics, silly question:
EDIT I FORGOT A MULTIPLE OPTION feel free to click whichever you care about MOST or otherwise the I just like poker option. My b!!
#[soliloqueue]#[survey says]#hmmm. so many tags#poker night#poker night ati#poker night 2#ash williams#evil dead#sam and max#sam & max#borderlands#claptrap#venture bros#brock samson#tycho brahe#penny arcade#the heavy#team fortress 2#tf2 heavy#monkey island#reginald van winslow#glados#portal#strong bad#homestar runner#i THINK rgats everypne#hello everyone
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Sam: Max talks in his sleep sometimes. It's kinda cute.
Max, asleep: ....fucking.... square up.... fight me, bitch......
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Balin: Hey, Bilbo, have you thought about having children?
Bilbo: ...
Bilbo: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
Balin: But we're not childr-
Bilbo, already distracted: FILI, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!
#HEHE#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[tales from erebor]#[b is for braincell]#the hobbit#balin#bilbo baggins#fili
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Max: That's a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn't make sense.
Sam: You'll do it?
Max: Of course.
#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#sam and max#[freelance husbands]#my grad party is today hehe#actually itll be ending as this posts#anyway everyone wish me congratulations /silly
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Thorin, getting dressed for some fancy dance: Hey, do you think I can hang myself with this tie?
Bilbo: Oh-ho-ho, no! You are NOT getting out of this the easy way!
#theyre perfect i love them#[bagginshield]#HAHAHAHAHAHHA#elmo emoji goes here.#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#the hobbit#[tales from erebor]#i cannot explain to you why thorin is purple to me#he just is#something something regal color#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins
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Fili: Uncle, do you love me?
Thorin: Of course I do!
Fili: Would you still love me if I did something bad?
Thorin: Well, of course I… would…
Fili: I mean something really, really—
Thorin: Fili, what did you do?
#i will not be elaborating on my color choices#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[tales of erebor]#[line of durin]#the hobbit#fili#thorin oakenshield
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Penelope: You have a girlfriend. How do you ask someone out?
Sly: Well, first—
Carmelita: Don’t ask him, he asked me out at 3am in a jail cell.
Penelope:
Penelope: And you said yes?
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Bilbo, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Bofur: Hey.
Nori: Hi.
Kili: Hello!
Fili: Hey!
Bilbo: I gave you the key for emergencies only!
Fili: We were out of chips.
#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[the company]#[tales from erebor]#bilbo vc NOT AGAIN#kili#fili#nori#bofur#bilbo baggins#the hobbit#also guys when uou read this i will officially be done with finals#and all of high school forever
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Thorin: Making breakfast for my beautiful husband.
Bilbo: Who the fuck is burning down my kitchen?!
#THEYRE PERFECT#EXPLODES#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[bagginshield]#[tales from erebor]#bilbo baggins#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield
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Gandalf: And remember the greatest magic of all. Do you remember?
Bilbo: ...Friendship?
Gandalf: ...What the fuck is wrong with you?
#gandalf is arthur aguefort to me in my brain#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#[tales from erebor]#[good morning!]#the hobbit#gandalf the grey#bilbo baggins#source: fantasy high
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Bilbo, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Bofur: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.
#the brothers fur are also purple to me. ok? ok.#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#the hobbit#bofur#bilbo baggins#theyre besties to me#[tales from erebor]#[b is for belonging]#hehe
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Bilbo: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?
Gandalf: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.
#[soliloqueue]#[totally correct]#incorrect quotes#this is just The Entire Book.#[tales from erebor]#the hobbit#bilbo baggins#gandalf the gray
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The Monarch: My wife has big boobs. You know why?
The Monarch: Because I don't give up on my goddamn childhood dreams.
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Carmelita: How'd you get in here?
Sly: A Cooper can get in anywhere! Not even the toughest locks can contain me.
Carmelita: Came in through the open window, huh?
Sly:
Sly: Yes. Yes, I did.
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