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the colonel and the captain
#monty python's flying circus#bbc ghosts#graham chapman#the captain bbc ghosts#bbcghostsedit#monty python#six idiots#bbc ghosts the captain#the colonel#the captain#ben willbond#them there#i've been meaning to make this gifset for months and finally here it is!#target audience: me and my fellow fans of the pythons and the idiots#so many things about the captain remind me of the colonel#some may be coincidences but i bet others are sneaky references#i love both characters (and graham and ben) so much#mygifs#mygifs:montypython#mygifs:bbcghosts#mygifs:grahamchapman#mygifs:benwillbond
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Isn’t It Odd pt. 3
Carth is suspicious of Varana, the smuggler he must work with to save Bastila and escape Taris. As “coincidences” keep piling up he digs into her past, trying to find out who she is.
Things were supposed to get better once Bastila was rescued, and in many ways it was, but everything about Varana grew more confusing. Bastila seemed transfixed with the smuggler, watching the woman constantly out of the corner of her eye. It didn’t match how the Jedi spoke to Varana with an air of annoyance and condescension, despite Varana remaining respectful and polite. He could only guess Varana had done something to deserve a grudge following the swoop race before they had made it back to the hideout. From what he had seen of Varana, that didn’t make sense, unless it was unintentional. Was the Jedi jealous, or even threatened, by how Varana had handled herself thus far?
Bastila’s beef with Varana was superseded by the fact that Bastila thought Varana had the Force.
She may have thought she was being sneaky, but it was a small apartment, and Carth had heard all of it. Bastila had asked Varana to talk in a quiet voice, how could that not get Carth’s attention? He didn’t know if Zaalbar or Mission had also paid attention to the conversation in the corner, but he was busy enough with his own thoughts, he didn’t need to discuss it with anyone.
He thought it might not matter, it might just be one of life’s mysteries, as they left Taris behind. They’d get to Dantooine, Bastila and Carth would return to their places, and… Well, Canderous would probably disappear. Good riddance. Varana might do the honorable thing and stay with the Republic until she fulfilled her “contract” (she always used air quotes when she referred to the conditions of her release as a contract). She might also run as soon as she got to Dantooine. But, strangely enough, he knew she would look after Zaalbar and Mission. He wasn’t sure what sort of life Mission would have if she stuck with Varana but she would be okay.
But (of course), it wasn’t so simple.
He expected to give a report to the Jedi Council, and it went without any surprises. It felt normal, as normal as a report covering something as extraordinary as the events of Taris could be, but he felt a warm pride in his chest when he finished. He had completed his mission. He had gotten Bastila safe. The praise of the Jedi Council felt good, until:
“Could you send in Varana?”
Of course they wanted a report from her as well, she was technically a Republic soldier (why did they want to see her?). She had taken an oath to serve the Republic (she was a smuggler!). She was the only other one with Bastila after the swoop race, having a second view might be helpful (why did he feel so cold?). Varana was just as vital to the success of their escape as he was, maybe even more so (he felt sick). If it hadn’t been for her, they never would have made it (something was wrong).
“They’re waiting for you inside,” Carth heard himself say. She was confused but did as requested. He turned to follow her back inside but Bastila shook her head, the door closing to keep him out. When the door opened, thankfully before Carth could pace a moat into the courtyard, Varana looked pale. He couldn’t ask what happened, his tongue getting caught and his gut twisting as Bastila followed close behind, herding Varana to the Ebon Hawk.
Varana had the Force (of course she did). Varana was going to be a Padawan (of course she was). A woman who was mysteriously assigned to the Endar Spire, whose mission was so classified Carth didn’t even know the details, who survived an ambush attack, who found Bastila and escaped in what could be considered a miraculous series of events, who conveniently couldn’t remember her past.
Everything in Carth told him this was wrong, and it was dangerous. He had to figure out what was going on, who she was. None of this could have been a coincidence.
And he had something very useful on his side: he was the Poster Boy for the Republic, the Jedi didn’t give him a second glance when he walked around the compound. They didn’t mind him going into their library or archives, using their terminals to check the news and current events of the war. It was only natural for a soldier cooped up in an enclave to be anxious for news.
Despite himself, he brought T3 with him. The droid was surprisingly calming, especially in Carth’s isolation, and could keep secrets better than Mission after breaking into databases he shouldn’t.
He started with the most obvious place: her file. It was sparse, as expected from someone who lived on the fringe of Republic space and did their best to avoid capture for most of their life. But it gave enough information to jump off from:
Birthplace: Deralia Age: 25 Parents: Mother - Sangre nee Termos. Father - Zanalf Warner Species: Human
Turned out, those last names were very common on Deralia, as were those first names. With some time, he found a marriage certificate for them. Soon after, he found Varana’s birth certificate. Carth was surprised by his relief when he saw the birth certificate and realized it matched her age.
Had he really expected for it all to be fake? (Yes.)
“Based on the Jedi files on Deralia, they don’t have much of a presence there, so they could have missed a Force sensitive child,” Carth said aloud, as though T3 might appreciate hearing his thoughts.
T3 did beep in response, giving Carth a sense that at least he wasn’t totally alone in this little alcove of the quiet library.
“We should find images of her parents, I think she’d like that,” Carth suggested, again as though T3 would appreciate his thoughts. T3 took it as an order and began searching through Deralia’s files.
“That has to be the wrong woman,” Carth muttered when images began appearing on the terminal screen. “Oh, right, she takes after her dad,” Carth reminded himself. A news article was one of the files T3 pulled up in the droid’s attempt at being helpful, and Carth opened it to read the small town newspaper. He swallowed hard, growing cold, as he scanned the page and found the small article that had gotten T3’s attention.
At the top was an image of a happy family of three, a dark skinned man, a light skinned woman with bright red hair, and a dark tan girl with big brown curls. The caption for the picture read “Zanalf Warner (left), Varana Warner (center), Sangre Warner (right), at Varana’s 6th birthday.” The article title was a cold “Family of three dies in drunk driving accident.”
Carth stared at the little girl, not recognizing her at all. The Varana he knew was light skinned with straight black hair.
“It’s… it’s the wrong one.”
He and T3 kept looking, but couldn’t find any other Varanas born to a Zanalf and Sangre on Deralia two and a half decades ago. He didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want to accept it, but the Varana he knew was a lie. He had to find out who she was, he knew it was important, he knew it was dangerous. He was not going to let himself be blindsided again.
“T3, I need you to do something for me.”
Carth could only hope Varana was too tired from training to notice if he was acting differently around her. He desperately tried to act normal, if anything he had to act friendly. He needed things to identify her. Finger prints, scars, voice recordings, images, anything T3 could try to match to existing databases to try to find out who she really was.
Fingerprints were easy, she didn’t have a habit of wiping down every surface she touched and T3 was able to scan multiple items only she had touched.
But her fingerprints had been scrubbed. Not from records, she literally didn’t have fingerprints anymore. That concerned Carth more than anything, people don’t just have their fingerprints removed for no reason. She was trying to hide who she really was.
“You seem grumpy,” Carth mentioned as casually as he could one night as Varana sat at the table, reading her datapad. T3 sat in the corner, recording.
“Got into an argument with the masters,” she mumbled, “Vrook doesn’t like me. Actually I don’t think any of them like me, at best they tolerate me. Zhar might kind of like me. I’m not sure.”
She put down the datapad and groaned, moving her head up and around, popping her neck and sighing happily. Carth took it as an opportunity, moving behind her, his hands hesitating over her shoulders. She opened her eyes, looking up at him in confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“You seem tense,” he said with a shrug, dropping his hands on her shoulders and rubbing. She purred, relaxing under his touch and letting her head lull to the side.
“So have you. Understandable.”
“Oh?”
“You’ve been stuck here with no explanation. A soldier can only take so much leave before they get antsy,” she explained, grinning up at him before she closed her eyes and drooped again under his hands.
“True…” Carth muttered, biting back his frustration. He had a goal here. “Any of that meditation or visions helping with your memories?”
She tensed up at that, letting out a controlled breath.
“I don’t think about it.”
“Really? You don’t wonder about any scars you have? Tattoos? Birthmarks? Habits? Things you can’t explain?” he pushed, working his fingers into her hair and massaging her scalp.
“Nah…” she sighed, “I haven’t really noticed any.”
“Really? That’s weird.”
“Is it?”
“Most people have scars somewhere, unless they are rich or vain enough to have the scars removed,” he realized he shouldn’t have said that last part so he played it off as a joke, leaning down and whispering, “you’ve got a big pile of credits somewhere, don’t you? I bet you’re secretly rich.”
That made her laugh and she shook her head and let out a joking, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
And then she turned her face, and Carth realized how very close he was to her, as she dreamily looked at him.
“Obviously I’m a lost princess,” she teased, “my memories were stolen by an evil wizard. Duh.”
“Right, of course!” Carth snorted, moving away and resuming his massaging. He desperately wanted to relax with her, she made it so easy to sink into a lull, but he knew it was a trick. Of course she didn’t have any identifying marks, if she got rid of her fingerprints she’d get rid of anything else that could identify her. She may have even altered her face and voice.
But maybe… maybe she hadn’t changed how she fought.
“So what did you argue with the masters about today?” Carth changed the subject. He’d get T3 to record her fighting tomorrow during her training session, maybe he could talk her into sparing with him tomorrow night.
“You say that like I argue with them every day!”
“Don’t you?” he teased, earning him a snorted chuckle and a nod in admission.
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