#some of us just have wider chasms of shit we can deal with

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

just kinda thinking so today’s text post is gonna be me saying like.. you know... for me, personally, the way i enjoy lars and sadie’s dynamic is like... it’s all about the potential for growth. im not getting into analyzing or extrapolating from canon ive done that before and i dont feel like doing it again rn lmao. but anyway. you know, of course i ship them, i love them together romantically, but even in terms of them maintaining a platonic friendship like. this all applies. the joy of lars and sadie does not come from like, “oh wow i wanna see these two fight and disrespect each other for another 60 years” like ew what lmao. like yes, keep the edge, hold onto some bickering/room for misunderstandings, please dont wipe away their other deeper more core issues and character flaws just because they enter a relationship with one another. but yes the joy comes from seeing them starting from this place of deep, simultaneous understanding and misunderstanding. i wanna see how that works out. i wanna see them growing into themselves along side one another, and see that reflected in not only how lars and sadie treat each other, but how their growth as individuals impacts all of their relationships. i now take a second to pour one out for lars and ron not getting to reconcile anything (not really), and for lars not getting to become friends with jenny, sc, and buck. woe... sadness be upon me. but yes like. i find it really exciting and heart warming to like, imagine them continuing to work on catching themselves, on not being as reactionary and not acting out of fear. which whew that’s a whole other thing isn’t it.. every interaction you make being based in fear. of course the fear that lars and sadie both operate out of are rather different, come from slightly different places, but still wow. but yea we got to see these two make decisions/connections with more satisfying/less destructive motivations with some other charas, to small degrees. yay, sincerely, we love to see it. but yea you know. sometimes things start out rough and do actually get better. sometimes someone hurting you isn’t the end of everything. sometimes the best apology is actually sticking around and being better to yourself and the people you care about. there’s a lot of my own personal life exp with friendships and romance (esp long-term relationships) that works into how i’ve read into these charas and been able to understand/relate to them. people can heal, we basically know and agree upon that, sure. but friendships can heal, too. and often times those processes work hand in hand. so what im really saying is... yea. larsadie comfortability. larsadie self and mutual-understanding. larsadie reconciliation. larsadie domestic bliss!!! oh to cook your little girlfriend a nice cornmeal pancake breakfast and watch her sleepily place a pad of butter atop the stack, the same subtle color as her hair... you are falling in love with her for the ten thousandth time. you are already thinking about what to make for her tomorrow morning.

[aiyexayen]

I haven’t known true peace since I realised that Wei Wuxian actually believes this. He’s not just saying dumb shit here, or oversimplifying things to be dramatic--he truly thought of it this way, even back then. Even though nobody else did.

This line has always confused me and maybe I just haven’t given it enough thought. Maybe it’s obvious. But everyone has such a different perspective at that section of the story, including the audience. And that’s part of the tragedy of it all, really, is how much the situation was twisted up--both on purpose, by the Jins, and by simple circumstance--to the point that nobody was on the same page. But the extent of Wei Wuxian’s didn’t really hit me until recently, when puzzling back over this particular scene.

(In my defense, it was easy for me to miss until now, because it’s mixed in with Wei Ying admiring Lan Zhan admiring the moon and followed by Lan Zhan calling Wei Ying out on his “I’m fine” bullshit before carrying him down the stairs.)

At first pass, all I could think was, “Wei Wuxian, are we even watching the same show?” He and Jiang Cheng were rivals as much as they were best friends as much as they were brothers, and frequently at odds.

They never really had a “them two against the world” vibe outside of their Twin Heroes of Yunmeng promise. Wei Wuxian loved the world, and making friends, and did so freely and gladly. He and Jiang Cheng really only ever stood together against really blatant enemies like the Wen before and during the Sunshot campaign, and by the time the Jins and the rest of the prominent sect/clan leaders were at their throats, things were definitely falling apart.

They not only had a fraught childhood together in that household to begin with, but they also haven’t been truly on the same side since the fall of Lotus Pier when it all came to a head; the slow dissolution of their close bond is a huge underlying theme of the story as we suffer through the emotional torture of watching their desperate love create a wider and wider chasm between them, littered with broken promises and unspoken words as they slowly forget how to know each other.

And they really never stood together against Lan Wangji?? Ever?

While Jiang Cheng was regarding him (and every other human being and activity) as a rival for his shige’s attention and proof of his own social ineptitude (a potential cause for worry in his earnest role as sect heir and representative of his clan), Wei Wuxian was utterly enamoured. By the time Wei Wuxian had his rounds of falling-out with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng regarded him as an ally who stood by his side for months and kept his hope alive while helping him scour the land for all traces of his missing brother and was really confused why Wei Wuxian was being a jackass.

In-between all this, they travel and fight together--all three of them--on more than one occasion, and even go to war together.

We’re frequently shown glimpses, scenes, framing, setups, that show us Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji standing together without or apart from Jiang Cheng as well. Because reasons.

From Lan Wangji’s point of view, he was never not on Wei Wuxian’s side when it counted. He just had trouble communicating this effectively at times, especially while Wei Wuxian was in a constant push-pull with himself and everyone else about what he should be allowed to want and have.

From Jiang Cheng’s point of view, Wei Wuxian was failing to be on his side again and again, and it was never really about his own loyalty, because he was the only one still keeping their promise.

And certainly by Jin Ling’s one-month celebration, they both seemed to be on the same page that they were coming together as Wei Wuxian’s important people, if not actively friends by then, and that they were of one mind in getting Wei Wuxian back around his family and back into society. One of the most shattering things anyone has ever had the nerve to tell me straight into the void that once was my heart is that they (along with Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan) were probably so excited to see Wei Wuxian and proudly show him how well they were all getting along.

So I, humble viewer of episodes, watch all of this happening, and then narrow my eyes at Wei Wuxian in disbelief. Who does he think he is? Jiang Cheng, always at his side? With Lan Wangji, always opposite?

Why does this moment of self-reflection even exist? When he could have taken this opportunity to have some kind of flashback about Lan Wangji and the moon, as the rest of us are? Is it just to torment me, in particular?

But then I thought of three things. One, his point of view at the time. Two, his point of view in this episode. And three, the phrasing of what he’s saying here.

The phrasing feels important. Wei Wuxian simply says he thought Jiang Cheng would be at his side/on his side/by his side, and he thought Lan Wangji would be opposite. Opposite doesn’t necessarily mean a direct rival or enemy. It can mean standing for the opposing viewpoint, or having an opposing position.

Given that he’s directly comparing it to how he feels right now, it makes sense. As of this episode, he’s just had his real first encounter with Jiang Cheng, and it was pretty horrible. He had to deal with Jin Ling and his curse, between now and then, but that isn’t really going to be what’s on his mind.

I might be like, “Ah, yes, running away from Jiang Cheng to go fuck off with Lan Wangji, typical Wei Wuxian scenario, even if I support it especially in this particular instance.” Jiang Cheng might feel that way, too, right down to “Thank fuck he ran away like he always does and didn’t call my bluff about killing him a thousand times over because that would have been embarrassing.”

But to Wei Wuxian, the circumstances are completely different. He’s not running off on an adventure after which he absolutely intends to return home. He’s leaving with what he sees as confirmation (which he was trying to avoid) that Jiang Cheng truly hates him, and the knowledge/reminder that he may never see him again because he will absolutely try his hardest not to. And he’s returning to Lan Wangji, who is his adventure, but also, increasingly, his home.

He can’t really think of it in those terms, yet, though. So he thinks about it as sides.

Even though they and Jiang Cheng are never truly pitted against each other in the present any more than Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were ever pitted against Lan Wangji in the past (that is to say, one or two tense scenes and mostly a lot of wibbly gray areas indicating that there’s a lot more going on in everyone’s heads), Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji on the “Wei Wuxian Should Not Be Dead” team and Jiang Cheng sulking on the opposite shore.

Or, at the very least, the teams are “Leave Wei Wuxian Alone” and “Wei Wuxian Needs To Fucking Stop.”

Which reminds him how different it all used to be.

And even if we’re like, “Was it, though?” that’s not his perspective on it. He didn’t see all the pieces that the rest of us saw. He never knew the lengths Lan Wangji was going to in order to try and help him, the rules he broke. He never saw the punishment Lan Wangji endured for simply visiting him. Even Jiang Cheng saw Lan Wangji stand up for him publicly after the heart-wrenching scene in the rain. Wei Wuxian never did.

He only saw Lan Wangji trying his damnedest to get him to give up demonic cultivation. He only heard Lan Wangji’s attempts to convince him to get better that he never really understood. He only ever perceived resistance and disapproval.

Wei Wuxian was expecting Lan Wangji to come and personally try to stop him at Nightless City. Wei Wuxian woke up alive and took one look at Lan Wangji (and softly gayly smiled and took a second look for good measure) and took off. Wei Wuxian woke up again with all his memories and the knowledge he was loved and missed after sixteen years and asked if Lan Wangji had ever really believed him. Wei Wuxian has been slowly coming to terms with the fact that Lan Wangji wholeheartedly and unreservedly does, now. So, to him, it’s the idea that Lan Wangji has “switched sides” as it were.

And Jiang Cheng?

Wei Wuxian thinks he and Jiang Cheng were unquestionably on the same side right up until Jiang Yanli died.

Jiang Cheng was angry, was upset, was in pain. They fought. Promises were broken. But that didn’t mean they were on opposing sides, not really, surely.

They were on the same side about questionable cultivation methods not being questioned as long as it made Yunmeng Jiang strong where it was currently weak. They were on the same side about it not being anyone else’s business. Their fight was faked, even if the separation had to be real.

Wei Wuxian was still standing by Jiang Cheng’s side in prioritising Yunmeng Jiang’s political standing. Jiang Cheng was still standing by his side in caring about their home and their sister. He brought shijie, who brought soup. And something about their public break and Jiang Cheng’s account kept the other sects from piling on Wei Wuxian right at the start.

At Nightless City, while he expected Lan Wangji to be there countering him, he did not expect any of Yunmeng Jiang to be there to actually fight him. Of course Jiang Cheng was there--how could Jiang Cheng not show up? One of the great clans? And they’re not really supposed to have anything to do with one another anymore, right? Wei Wuxian was a traitor to Yunmeng Jiang, right? Of course Jiang Cheng had to show up.

But as long as Wei Wuxian was in control of the resentful energy and puppets, not a single Yunmeng Jiang disciple, let alone Jiang Cheng himself, was so much as looked at sideways.

Jin Zixuan had been killed. Jiang Yanli would never forgive him. His found family full of innocents had been slaughtered by power-hungry hypocrites. The entire cultivation world was after his soul. He was a dead man walking. He’d been hallucinating for hours. His mind was mostly gone.

And he thought, “Lan Wangji is here to put an end to me at last. It is time to fight.”

And he thought, “Jiang Cheng is not truly part of this. I must not touch Yunmeng Jiang.”

Both of these things wound me deeply. The first, because it’s demonstrably untrue. The second, because it might not have been nearly as true as everyone (including Jiang Cheng) wishes, though at least we’ll never really have to know, will we.

And then Jiang Yanli died.

We can see the story happening in stages, the various breakdowns and buildups and breakdowns again. And we always knew this ending was coming. But to him, that’s the moment everything truly, truly broke.

Though, I feel the need to point out, hysterically, he still wasn’t opposite Jiang Cheng even then. Because Jiang Cheng, he believes, wanted him dead (even if he couldn’t do it by his own hand) just as much as Wei Wuxian wanted himself dead. And Lan Wangji did not want him dead. So he stood in solidarity with Jiang Cheng one last time, did right by Jiang Cheng and Yunmeng Jiang and their family one last time, as he yanked his hand away from Lan Wangji.

Only now, in the present, are Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng truly in opposition. And only now are Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji on the same page. Supposedly.

One of Wei Wuxian’s particular character journeys post-timeskip is finally having the concept of interpersonal nuance smashed into his head in a way that still allows him to be himself and follow his own moral codes and build relationships in his own way. His assorted encounters with Jiang Cheng leading up to their reconciliation (as well as the juniors and the sect leaders and other characters) all demonstrate that nicely.

But in this scene, it really is that straightforward to him. Hell, it’s even presented such to us for a hot minute.

If for no other reason than the direct parallel of Lan Wangji finding out about Wei Wuxian’s fear of dogs and protecting him both physically and emotionally without question, and Jiang Cheng already knowing about it but using Fairy against Wei Wuxian until it triggered him into a panic-induced ptsd flashback seriously what a fucking dick move though.

So, perhaps it’s understandable, between Wei Wuxian’s misconceptions of the past and his current experiences in the present and the fact that these are the only two people left to him in all the world.

He believes the bitter irony of fate has dictated that he can never have them both. He was only ever going to have one of them and he never considered it would truly be this one.

And for just one moment, before he can be glad of his gain, he has to mourn the inevitable loss that comes with it. For that one moment, even seeing Lan Wangji so beautiful in the moonlight, so openly and invitingly waiting for him, that’s all he can think about.

It haunts me.

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.2

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

You wake up with a jolt, gasping for air.

Sitting up, you internally wince. Everything fucking hurts, and your body feels like you got tossed under a 16-wheeler. It’s pretty dark around you, but you can tell that you’re alone. 

Once you feel like you can breathe normally again, you begin to look at your surroundings. The air is kind of humid, and smells.. weird. You were.. somewhere. It was hard to tell with how little light there was. Could it be night time already? Were you really knocked out for a whole day? The walls around you are crumbling and falling apart but it doesn’t look like anything from Earth, and you could almost make out some sort of drawings on them. They’re too worn out for you to make anything out of it, though. 

You can see lush green plants growing from the cracks in the walls, and they seem strange to you. You’re no expert on plant life, but you haven’t seen plants that look like this ever in your life. Thick, ropey vines were streaming down the surface of the walls, and large bulbous, orange flower-like plants were blooming on them. They looked.. fleshy.

You stand up from your place on the ground, legs wobbly from their lack of use, and realize that half the reason why you feel so weird is that the gravity is heavier? You feel sluggish. You’re definitely not on Earth. Fuck. This is just.. great.

You take one step and groan out loud. Your leg muscles are so sore, and this is taking an immense amount of effort to not go back to curl up in a corner and pretend everything is fine. You start to feel your way around the room, hands trailing against the wall. Slowly making your way northbound, hands running over several vines and one of the flowers hiss - you quickly step away from it. Okay. The fucking flower hissed at you, no big deal. 

You keep walking in the direction you were going before, and eventually find an opening in the wall with some moonlight pouring in like a spotlight. You have to bend down to get out, nearly stumbling over the scattered, worn bricks on the ground. Once you steady yourself, you look up to see that yes, it was night time you guess? You don’t see any stars, and the atmosphere is murky with a thick fog. The sky is dark and tinted a soft bright green - unlike anything you’ve ever seen, and a bright, orange moon. Actually.. three moons, what the hell?

Turning your head in both directions, you look around you for any immediate signs of danger. The trees around you are thick like a jungle, and you don’t see an immediate pathway to how exactly you got here.

Swiping your forehead, you wince and remember your flesh wound from earlier. It feels dry, so that’s good, but it also seems to be smeared down your face like someone tried wiping it off. You don’t know how you feel about this, so you try not to think about it.

You eventually spot a crude footpath that looks pretty old and overgrown, like it hasn’t been used in a century you think. You walk slowly along it, body sore and not used to the gravity change - and peer around you at the plantlife. Many of the trees here are tall and droopy, long leaves coming from high arches above. They’re similar to palm trees but also very much not. So many large tree-like bushes that are in various shades of greens and oranges, leaves and color formation very alien to you. It’s all very strange. You don’t seem to see any kind of organic lifeforms around either, except for some type of gnats and other small bugs.

You keep walking along the path you found, and you spot a couple of freshly torn tree branches, so you forge ahead.

Your mind is swimming with thoughts as you slowly regain most of what happened today. A gem you’ve never seen before tried to kill Steven, knocked you out and took you with her to a different planet, as.. what. A bargaining chip? She didn’t outright kill you, which she could’ve done very easily, but didn’t for some reason. You’re positive you came here via warp pad, but you cannot leave alone, as you are human, and humans can’t use the warp pad without at least a gem beside them. 

Steven must be so very worried about you, and you hate to make him worry. You hate to make any of them worry. They’ve done so much for you, despite.. certain things. You shake your head to clear your thoughts. Best not to dwell on past mistakes, especially when you’ve got much more prominent things to worry about. Like finding a way off this fucking weird planet.

The path ahead of you turns slightly, and you start to see the beginning of an opening to a clearing. A spark of hope bubbles inside your chest as you pick up the pace. You nearly trip out into the clearing - catching yourself on a nearby tree, and you marvel at the view around you for a second.

There’s a good sized clearing here before a massive line of trees hit the outer edge - it’s probably the size of two football fields you think. The expanse of the horizon is enormous, all three moons in clear view, and you think you see a few scattered stars here and there through the thick atmosphere. There’s a couple large hills in the distance and some large towering rock formations as well from what you can see, and it would take at least a day or two to physically walk over there if you wanted to - but you’d rather eat your own foot than stay here any longer than you have to, curiosity aside. Off to the left of the jungle there seems to be miles upon miles of rocky terrain, huge chasms running through the sides of the crust. You can’t really make out anything around it from here, though.

Your eyes eventually spot the warp pad in the middle of the clearing, and you make a beeline for it. Your heart rate picks up pace too, and you cannot quell the hopeful feelings inside you.

It.. it looks intact. You let out a long, weary breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in, and walk around the warp pad to inspect it. 

There isn’t any damage, and it looks usable. This was definitely the one that you came through when you were brought here. You’re unsure if there are any others on this planet, or if this is the only one. Speaking of.. all of this. This was a gem planet, clearly. You have no idea what it was used for, from what you can tell. Actually, from what you can tell, this planet seems pretty intact? Compared to some of the other planets you’ve seen while you’ve adventured with the crystal gems. Why was it abandoned? Aside from you wanting to go home, this place doesn’t seem so bad.

You are so completely lost in thought that you don’t hear someone approaching you from behind.

“Well, what do we have here?” A familiar voice speaks up from a few feet behind you, and you freeze in your tracks.

You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and your turn to look at her, eyes wide.

“Didja think your little friends were gonna come save ya?” She says with a devilish grin, and takes a threatening step towards you. You take a step back. Your mouth doesn’t work for a few seconds as you regard her appearance, now that she’s not trying to actively chop you to pieces.

Her heart-shaped gem is upside down, and on her chest. Her pink hair is in pigtails, and she’s got streaks down her face, and her attire is strange. You have no idea who she’s supposed to be, and honestly you don’t give a shit. You don’t care about anyone that would dare lay a hand on Steven.

“They still could,” You reply, and try to keep your voice even. “They wouldn’t just abandon me.”

“Aww, that’s cute of you to think.” Her grin gets a little wider. “I hate to say it toots, but they ain’t gonna find us out here.” She takes another step closer to you.

“They’ll find a way,” You back up the same distance, and your heel hits the edge of the warp pad. “They always do, somehow.”

She considers you for a moment, and lets out a low chuckle that sets off your fight or flight. Your feet feel rooted to the ground.

“I seriously doubt that.” She says with a grin, and you watch in dawning horror as she expands her fist, slamming it down on the warp pad behind you with a loud crash. Some pieces of debris hits you, and you stumble, crashing to the ground. 

The only half-baked plan you had of escaping just flew out the window. You struggle to get back on your feet, and you hold yourself back from screaming endlessly into the night.

“Why the FUCK would you do that!?” You yell at her, forgoing any rational thought that you had. “That was the EASIEST way for me to get home and you just ruined any chance I had!” She lets out another chuckle before responding.

“Oh, you thought you had a chance. That’s adorable.” She continues to take another step towards you, insistently getting closer. “Ya’ see.. I brought you here with the intention of not letting you go.”

“That makes no fucking sense, you came to kill Steven, like every single other gem.” You reply, unable to move anywhere without tripping on the pieces of the broken warp pad. She’s only a couple feet in front of you.

“I did. Changed my mind, though.” 

“Wh..” Too many thoughts are racing through your head. “What do you mean, changed your mind!? Why ME!? I’m not even a gem! You could’ve just killed me and made this easy!!!”

“Now, why would I want to kill my best friend?” She chuckles, darkly. “I just got her.”

“B-best friend.” You reiterate, mind reeling at this. “Excuse me? You are NOT my best friend. You’re far from it.” 

Her eyes snap to yours, and you’re immediately filled with unease. She moves closer to you, and gets right up in your space, merely a few inches from you.

You want to bolt.

“Ya wanna repeat that.” She replies calmly and regards your face, blinking once.

“You’re not my best friend, and I don’t even know you!”

Her hand snaps to your face, and she’s gripping your jaw roughly. You can feel her thumb pressing into your cheek, and she forces you to look at her. She grins wide enough that you can see many of her teeth, and it doesn’t reach her eyes at all. 

“Sweetcheeks, we can get to know each other. We have.. time.” She ends the last word slowly, and every fiber of your being is telling you to get very, very far away from her. You grip her arm with your hands to try and pull away and she pulls you flush against her, still holding your jaw painfully. She wraps her arm around you to keep you in place.

“Now, just why would you want to leave dear ‘ol Spinel? After everything I’ve done to make sure we’d have a grand time together?” The moonlight above making her eyes look brighter, her irises boring into yours. You can’t look away.

“S-Spinel?” You push on her arm, trying to get some distance between the two of you, but she holds tight. She looks absolutely delighted and practically purrs as you say her name, and you are one hundred percent uncomfortable now. You make another attempt to pull away, but the gem has an iron grip on you. 

“Say it again.” She demands, holding you in place. “Say my name.”

You feel like no matter what you do, you’re probably fucked regardless.

“Uh.. Spinel?” You nearly squeak as she presses you uncomfortably tight against her. Her gem pushing against you actually hurts.

“It's.. so nice to hear my name again.” The pink gem smirks, her face so close you can feel the words coming out of her mouth. 

You make a silent agreement with yourself to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible, or at least die trying. And as if this moment couldn't get any more uncomfortable, your stomach decides to growl loudly enough for the gem to notice. 

Spinel drops her hand from your face and disentangles herself from you, looking at you in mild confusion. 

You suddenly notice just how hungry you are as your stomach growls again, and it feels like it’s eating itself. You avoid making eye contact with the strange gem in front of you as you attempt to walk around her, done with this place, done with this gem, and done with everything. You’ll unpack all of your emotional shit later, if you ever get time to yourself.

A hand shoots out and grabs onto your arm, stopping you in your tracks. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Spinel spits out at you with a glare.

“I gotta eat.” You answer curtly, pushing her hand off your arm. Why the fuck is this bitch so touchy?

“Not alone, you aren't.” Her fist finds its way to your arm again, and this time her grip is much tighter than before. 

You sigh loudly, extremely annoyed at this point. Not only were you stranded on an alien planet, but you were stranded with this crazy ass gem who couldn't decide if she wanted to kill you or be your best friend. You want to scream.

“Okay, fine. But I need to find something NOW.” You turn from her and walk off, and she follows closely behind you, much to your irritation.

You look briefly around the clearing for anything that looks even remotely edible, and you find nothing. It’s dark out, but there’s enough moonlight to see that there’s really nothing but the now-destroyed warp pad here. Heading back from where you came is probably your best option, considering this area has only one pathway in and out.

On your way back you actually spot a couple bushes in the thick of the trees a few feet out that seem to be bearing some kind of berry. You think you'll take your chances, and meander your way through enough vines to nearly strangle yourself. Spinel is still holding your wrist, and she follows you closely. You wish you could ditch her somehow, because you're worried she'll murder you in your sleep. You think maybe later you can try to find an opportunity to escape her somehow. 

The berries on this bush are.. weird. They're a mix of blues and oranges which is kinda wild, but you're so hungry you don't even care. You pick a couple off the bush, and hold them up to your face to sniff them.

"What are those?" The gem next to you asks.

"No idea. Don't care at this point though." You reply, and shovel a couple into your mouth.

They burst in between your teeth, and they taste.. not great, you can't lie. But you're hungry, and they seem alright, so you scarf down enough to placate your stomach. You grab another handful to bring with you to the ruins you woke up in, aka your makeshift shelter. Spinel is watching you with curiosity, and almost looks like she wants to try the berries herself.

You move around her carefully - you don’t want to agitate her again, and you don’t want to give her any indication that you were fine with her as well. Nearly tripping over the heavy foliage, you walk back to the narrow pathway so you can attempt to rest for the night. It’s getting colder, and you only wore long sleeves and jeans today. You quietly curse yourself for not wearing a sweater today like you were going to originally.

“What was that?” The gem asks from behind you. 

“Nothing.” You reply. Of course she heard you.

“Are you keeping secrets from me?” She stops, and grips your arm tightly. You turn around to face her.

“No, first of a-” You feel something coming up and slam your hand over your mouth. You hurl against the tree next to you. Christ, it tastes worse coming back up. You empty the contents of your stomach on the ground, gripping the tree for support.

You feel a hand on the back of your neck, gently grabbing your hair away from your face. You feel fucking awful, but you have enough in you to be pissed that she thinks she can touch you like this. After a few more dry heaves, you feel like it’s stopped enough. Leaning against the tree to steady your breathing, you finally find enough strength to push her hand away from you, and you walk off angrily to the ruins. She’s holding your arm again - of fucking course.

You don’t know if you have any strength in you to continue to find any sort of food source tonight. It might be best for you to rest for a couple hours, and get up when it’s lighter out. The temperature is also rapidly declining, and you worry if you can’t find some source of warmth, you’ll freeze to death before you can even get out of this place.

It only takes you a couple minutes to get back to where you were before you ventured out. You’re miserable, pissy, cold, and you feel like absolute shit. And it doesn’t help that the single being to get you into this entire mess is standing next to you like you should be grateful to her for this. It’s fucking insane.

You head back inside the hole you came out of earlier, but not before grabbing a couple large leaves off the weird palm trees to make yourself a makeshift cot. Maybe you can salvage some kind of warmth for yourself..

“Whatcha doin?” Spinel has the gall to ask beside you. You stare at her.

“I’m going to sleep.” You reply, moodily.

“Why?” 

“Because humans need rest to recuperate.” You aggravatedly sigh, and lay a large leaf down in the corner, away from the vines with the hissing flowers. You sit down on it, and Spinel moves to join you.

“Okay uh, can you.. Not. You can sleep over there.” You say, and point to the opposite side of the wall.

“Why would I do that if you’re right here?” She squints at you.

“Personal space?” You glare at her, and shiver from the cold creeping up on you.

“And that is?” She scoffs at you. “Who cares. And besides, you look cold.”

"Yeah, I'm good. I'll be fine right here by myself." You pull up your other two leaves over you to protect yourself. Like somehow she can't just rip these apart and strangle you to death if she wanted. She stares at you for a moment, and then sits down right next to you. Her leg is pressing against yours.

"I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you running away on me." She states, determinedly. 

Oh, great. You don't even get to have the private emotional breakdown like you wanted. 

Today sucks.

"Whatever. Don't touch me." You huff, and roll over to your side. It's cold, now. Decently cold, actually. It was humid when you woke up some time ago, but in the last half an hour or so it got significantly chilly. You seriously hate this planet. Your abdomen is sore from the violent vomiting before, and your whole body just aches in general. You still feel the pain on the side of your face from your flesh wound from earlier. You haven't felt this shitty in a long time.

You're lost in thought when you feel Spinel slowly wrap an arm around your stomach, and leans against your back. You freeze instantly.

"What did I just say?" You hear yourself say out loud. 

"Nothing I have to listen to." She says from behind you, and tightens her arm around your middle.

Well, there goes your other half-baked plan of possibly sneaking away from her.

You sigh in aggravation, and reside yourself to trying to sleep. It's proving to be difficult though, because your mind won't stop swimming with thoughts and unease about the gem against you. You don't know anything about her aside from her name, and that she took you to be her best friend, whatever the fuck that actually means. You still have no idea why she came to kill Steven earlier, or how she knew of him in the first place, considering you've known him half his life and you've never seen her before. Or even mentioned. But somehow, she knows him.

You feel some warmth coming from her, and try not to lean into it. You hate her. Your life was going great before all of this. You miss your bed, you miss your sweater, you miss the food you bought earlier and left on the counter. 

You miss your home. You miss the gems. 

You miss Steven.

Sighing again out loud, you pull your leaves closer to you. You'll deal with other things in the morning if you don't die in your sleep. Your eyes droop heavily, weariness from the day catching up to you. Sleep comes to you eventually.

[megsblackfirewrites]

The Family that Spies Together, Stays Together. Or Something to that Effect: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lena swallowed as the terrorists moved through the crowd. Women were sobbing as they dropped their expensive jewelry into the bag shaken in their face, but Lena knew that was more from fear than actually adoring the jewelry. Sure, some of them were probably really upset to lose something that was worth a few thousand dollars, but the fear of getting shot and killed was higher on the priority list.

“Come on, girl,” one of the men snarled and gave her a shove. “Earrings into the bag.”

“Calm down,” Lena grumbled as she unhooked the earrings hanging from her lobes. “They take a few minutes.”

“Other piercings too,” the man snapped and grabbed the metal bands in her ears.

“Ow!” Lena yelped and swatted at the hand. “That’s just a ten dollar clasp, asshole. They aren’t worth anything!”

“Don’t care,” the man growled. “In the bag.”

Lena reached up and carefully removed the metal piercings. The man shook the bag impatiently, but Lena didn’t care. She wasn’t tearing her damn ear open; he could wait. She dropped the clasps into the bag and settled back on her heels as the man moved on.

“Not the nicest people,” Jesse huffed beside her as he rubbed at the spot where his earring had been. “Really wishin’ I could teach them some manners.”

“Your bosses would kill you,” Lena smirked.

“Probably,” Jesse agreed before he leaned in close. “How’d you know, by the way?”

“Oh please; like I wasn’t shown thousands of photos of you with a big red ‘traitor’ stamped all over them,” she teased.

“Fair enough,” Jesse chuckled. “You see yer partner?”

“No,” Lena bit her lip and glanced around.

She didn’t see Jack anywhere. She knew he’d left to follow another operative, but he hadn’t reported in since. She was scared that he was dead, or worse, captured. She didn’t want to go back to headquarters alone. She didn’t want to have to face Them and announce that she’d lost track of her partner and gotten him classified as MIA. They would kill her without a second thought.

Lena was worth a couple thousand dollars at best. Jack was worth billions.

“I don’t see mine either,” Jesse sighed. “Hope he’s okay.”

Lena nodded and shifted closer. All the records on Jesse McCree were wrong. He was not some terrible person that needed to be eradicated. He was polite and a little unorthodox, but she trusted him. She knew he would watch her back if things got hairy. That was more than she could say for most of her peers. She only trusted Jack more and that was because he actually cared about her and wasn’t just faking.

The terrorists started shouting demands, shoving the guests around. Lena brushed her fingers against the holster on her thigh, tempted to pull the gun out. She knew she’d be killed immediately. She didn’t have enough room to blink and not slam into someone on accident.

She heard a commotion outside and turned to look. She grabbed Jesse by the front of his suit and yanked him towards the ground. They both dropped, startling the terrorists before two of their heads exploded. Guests screamed and tried to get away from the mess as it sprayed in all directions. She really couldn’t blame them; that was incredibly horrific to look at.

“Stand down!” Jack shouted as he advanced on the crowd, his gun up in front of him. “Now.”

The goons let out soft chuckles before they turned their weapons on Jack. Lena slipped her hand under the high hem of her dress and slowly pulled her handgun out. Her accelerator was already warming up, ready to boost her forwards. She just needed a moment’s distraction.

“I said stand down,” Jack growled, the light behind his visor flashing. “I won’t say it again.”

“Bring it, you overrated son of a bitch,” one of the goons sneered.

“He’s my son of a bitch,” a voice growled behind the goons.

Lena’s mouth opened in shock as a shadowy figure punched a hole clean through one of the terrorist’s chest. Wicked claws sank into the mutilated flesh as the hand was wrenched out of the wound. The goons shouted in alarm, stumbling away from their murdered friend as they sank to their knees and flopped into the growing pool of blood beneath them.

“Jesse, now!”

Jesse whipped a gun out from under his waistcoat and fanned the hammer on the back of it. Lena darted to the side, whistling sharply so that Jack knew she was moving. She blinked forward, spinning around to drive the wedge of her heel into one goon’s groin. She blinked away from them, threading her way towards Jack. She fired off her handgun as she went, keeping an eye on the shadow and Jesse.

“Good to see you’re still in one piece,” Jack growled as she materialized beside him. “Jesse didn’t give you trouble?”

“Nope; real gentleman, he is,” Lena grinned. “Who’s shadow boy?”

“Gabriel Reyes; stay close,” Jack ordered.

Lena shivered in awe. The Gabriel Reyes? The biggest traitor to ever be put through the Agent Enhancement Program that Overwatch was infamous for? Hundreds of hours’ worth of conditioning ruined when he broke protocol and defected to Talon and here he was. The fact that he was still alive surprised her; Jack should have put a bullet through his head by now.

“Jesse, civilians!” Jack suddenly shouted.

“They ain’t in the way,” Jesse shouted back as he spun his gun and rammed the spur on the end into a goon’s face.

“Get them out of here!” Jack snarled.

“Are you…?!”

“That’s an order, McCree,” Jack shouted.

Lena pursed her lips together. That was ‘Angry Commander Morrison’ talking. Jesse shot him a glare before he turned around and started ushering the terrified masses towards the rear doors. They scrambled to escape, shouting at each other to move. Lena glanced at Jack before zipping forward and shooting at the goons.

They were already disorganized, shouting and shooting at the shadow that was sweeping around them and eliminating them one by one. There wasn’t much for her to do but help take out the last few stragglers. Jack holstered his weapon and knelt down as the last goon fell over dead, rifling through pockets until he found a datachip.

“Gabe,” he said as he gave the chip a toss. “Get Sombra to decode that. I have a feeling that’s got information on who set us up.”

The shadow solidified around the chip, flipping it slowly across his knuckles. He glanced at Jack before crushing the chip in his palm. Jack and Lena let out identical shouts of disbelief.

“Gabriel!?”

“I don’t care who set us up,” Gabriel growled. “Get your protégé and let’s get out of here. We’re all wanted men now.”

“Maybe I wanted to know, you asshole!” Jack snarled. “They almost got all four of us killed. Don’t you think I’d want revenge?!”

“Didn’t think you cared,” Gabriel said before he looked at Lena. “Although, considering you have a new protégé, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Jack glared at him before he turned away. “Lena, keep up.”

“Of course, sir,” Lena said as she trotted at Jack’s heels. “Where’re we going to go?”

“Not back to headquarters, that’s for sure,” Jack growled.

“I have a car. Faster than walking,” Gabriel called after them.

“Can you stand to be in the same vehicle as me and my protégé, or are you and Jesse planning on crashing the car with us in it?” Jack snarled.

“Jack,” Gabriel gave him a flat look.

“Fine,” Jack snapped. “You two in the front seat. Lena and I will be in the back.”

“Didn’t take you long to replace me, did it?” Jesse growled.

Jack wouldn’t even look at him. He was using his body to block his line of sight to his protégé, but he wasn’t about to forget that Lena was working with him. Jack had fucking trained her since she arrived at Overwatch. He’d taken her under his wing and replaced him.

“I did not replace you, Jesse,” Jack replied. “Face forward. You’re going to break your neck if we crash.”

“You won’t even fuckin’ look at me, you damn coward!” Jesse shouted.

“Lower your voice; we’re in a car,” Gabriel growled.

Jesse glared at Jack, but his gaze was ignored. Jack didn’t even care that Jesse was upset. He didn’t give a flying fuck! When had the old man gotten so cold?

“Did I ever mean anythin’ to you?” Jesse hissed.

“Do not ask that,” Jack finally snapped. “You were the one that decided to follow Gabriel to Talon. You made your choice.”

“You didn’t have to replace me,” Jesse said.

“I didn’t,” Jack said flatly. “Leave Lena out of this.”

“And she’s even on first name basis with you!” Jesse growled. “Like fucking hell you didn’t replace me.”

“Enough,” Jack rubbed at his eyes. “Just…enough. I don’t have the patience to deal with this. We need to get somewhere safe and secure. Then you can contact Sombra and tell her to meet us there. I want all of us safe.”

“Oh, now you care about our safety,” Jesse sneered. “Didn’t seem to care when we were sent out before.”

“Jesse, leave it,” Gabriel ordered.

Jesse looked at Gabriel and saw that his adopted father looked tired. He settled back in his seat, doing his best to ignore the two people in the back of the car. He should have been ecstatic that Jack was back with them. He’d missed his adopted father so much and it had hurt every time they had been forced to fight each other. Now, all he felt was a bitter numbness in his gut and a yawning chasm slowly growing wider between them.

“Um, I got a question,” Lena chirped. “Why’d they try to kill me? I mean, I can understand trying to take out three really dangerous spies that probably know loads of information, but I’m a rookie. I don’t know shit.”

“Could be a number of reasons,” Jack replied. “Anything from trying to make me loyal if I survived and you did not or hoping you were taken under Gabriel’s black wings. Hard to say for sure.”

“Black wings?” Lena asked nervously.

“My callsign was ‘Raven’ for a while,” Gabriel chuckled. “The running joke amongst the agents was that my black wings of death only opened fully when I was protecting my protégés.”

“Oh. Neat,” Lena laughed.

They lapsed into silence after that. Jesse tried to keep his attention on the road, but he kept glancing in the rearview mirror. Jack had his eyes closed and his chin resting against his chest. A typical ‘don’t bother me’ pose from Jack Morrison. Of course the bastard wouldn’t want to talk. Probably thought he was better than everyone in the car because he was still “loyal”.

Gabriel drove through the city and pulled off the main highway onto an overgrown dirt path. Jesse settled in for a bumpy ride, but was surprised when Gabriel immediately pulled over.

“We walk from here,” he said as he turned the car off and pocketed the keys.

“Um, how far?” Lena asked. “I…don’t have a spare pair of shoes.”

“You didn’t come prepared?” Gabriel growled.

“I had a suitcase full of fifty thousand gadgets; a nice pair of sneakers weren’t going to fit,” Lena pouted.

“It’s fine; I’ll carry you if it’s too far,” Jack promised as he shooed her out of the car.

Jesse ground his teeth together as he got out of the car and collected his bags. He followed after Gabriel, trying to ignore the rapid tap-tap of Lena’s heels. Gabriel led them five hundred feet into the forest before they emerged into a clearing with a small cottage in the center.

“Swanky,” Lena chuckled as they walked up to the cottage.

“It’s the best we can get on short notice,” Gabriel shrugged as he opened the front door. “Sombra, front and center!”

Sombra looked up from her laptop and frowned. “Uh, Gabe, why’re you leading Overwatch agents around?” she asked as she got to her feet.

“Sombra,” Jack inclined his head.

“Long story,” Gabriel sighed. “We’re on the run now.”

“Told you that party was a setup,” Sombra rolled her eyes. “When are you going to believe me, Papa?”

“Not now, Sombra,” Gabriel growled. “Find them somewhere to sleep. I’ll take the couch for now.”

“How chivalrous of you,” Sombra rolled her eyes before she walked forward.

She stood right in front of Jack and glared up at him. Jesse saw the punch coming and Jack didn’t flinch as her fist connected with his jaw. That was going to bruise for sure. Lena squeaked in alarm as Jack looked down at Sombra.

“That was for taking so damn long,” Sombra growled before she threw her arms around Jack’s neck and hugged him tightly. “It’s good to have you back, Daddy. I missed you.”

Jack shifted and hugged Sombra close, kissing her forehead. “I missed you too, Sombra.”

Jesse stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants and headed for his room. He didn’t want to see his sister accepting Jack back so easily when Lena was standing right beside him. Why wasn’t she mad? Why wasn’t she screaming at him like Jesse wanted to? It wasn’t fair!