#some series have scripts that are IMPOSSIBLE to track down though

[calligraphic-tac]

Hey, saw your reblog on a post about writing, and since I had a creative block that lasted about a decade and kept me from writing or drawing, it resonated with me. A lot of things happened to finally get me out of that block, including changing meds, but a big one was just that stupid Comic Sans trick. (And this coming from someone who also loves writing in notebooks!)

Have you heard of it? You just write in Comic Sans, and it makes it impossible to take your writing seriously, so all the dread of the expectation of truly ~writing~ is lifted from you. I amplify the effect by using Notepad++ (no fancy formatting to distract me), using a theme with candy colors (even harder to take seriously), and keeping the window small (just a little things to ramble and jot notes in, not a big important writing document, goodness no, but if some writing should *happen* to happen...).

I also just don't worry about writing a story linearly. I write scenes as they pop into my head, however short, and then I stitch them together later.

As it is, my story still isn't finished (in part because it's the script for an animated series I'm working through animating at the moment)... But, counting all the AU tangents, I've gotten a Moby Dick length corpus out of it and counting, and I've had a hell of a lot of fun. Writing is back to being fun!! And that's all I could have hoped for.

Hey-o! I'm sorry it took me so long to respond. I drift from one thing to another sometimes and I was hyperfocused on Minecraft for a bit there!

I've heard of the Comic Sans trick, but haven't yet tried it. I tend to use Arial myself, since that's the Google Drive default. Might try it on my next story attempt, though, since I'm moving back to Word and pulling my writing off of Drive. (I want to keep my own backups and not worry about what's synced where.)

I also snagged an app on Steam called Nimble Writer that I want to try out. It apparently has some neat features to help with focus, but I haven't really played with it yet beyond booting it up and checking out the UI.

In terms of trying to write, I often find myself in brainstorming documents where I half-outline, half-brainstorm ideas. I get a lot of character backstory by doing that, and a lot of them have turned into full-blown worldbuilding with magic systems and descriptions of fantasy races, geography, weaponry, and so on. So it's not like I don't write anything, but it's not the prose I'd really like to be writing.

There are some other factors. My sibling is living with me. they're only 22, and they're still figuring things out, but there are also a lot of things they could be doing to be a better roommate. I prefer living alone and I knew I would only be able to tolerate them living with me for a little while, but this has gone far beyond that. I won't write that novel in this post, though. Suffice it to say I'm looking for my own place, and I know my creative productivity will vastly improve once I have a space where I can actually decompress after work.

On the linear writing thing: I used to be a panster. I wrote linearly, but I wrote what was fun. I've never written out of order before, but that has more to do with my ability to keep track of what's happened, and it's easier when I do it chronologically. I think I'll try an out-of-order story just to see if it breaks the block, though. Maybe if I break my own mold, I'll find another shape that fits, to follow the metaphor.

One trick I've been tempted to try is to pick one of my very old fanfictions, from back when I was a wordy teenager who had to describe everything in exacting detail, and copy it all down word-for-word until my writer's brain kicks in and diverges with it. I'm not the same person I used to be, so I'd like to think my old self would drive me just crazy enough to force me into action writing something new. Or maybe the same thing but better. Who knows?

On that last point: You're writing a script?! Am I allowed to ask about it? And animating! I've been wanting to relearn how to draw, but animating seems so daunting! I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you for the ask, and for the chance to get some thoughts out. I'll put some of your suggestions to the test and see what happens. :D

[heavysunsky]

Transporter jason statham movies

To prove that “The Transporter” series is the essence of this discussion I will give example for each of the core features mentioned below coming from “The Transporter” series. It means, that before Transporter Jason was clearly British character, but after the success of the first part, this feature is evaporating more and more with every new movie. Interestingly, “Britishness” was an important part of his persona, but in my view, it was consequently disappearing and his creations were modeled on American style. The same reviewer describes Jason Statham as “one of England’s rising generation of laddie stars ” (note that despite mentioned “ Lock Stock and Smoking Barrels” Jason played in “ Snatch” directed by the same actor, which is pretty much the same kind of movie.) It give the impression of how Statham was perceived before he reached the top. Luc Besson, called “French one-man film industry” by Dave Kehr in his review of the first part of Transporter for “The New York Times” is responsible for the script. But we all know the story and the pattern is the same in every movie. Series of films consisting of three parts where Statham is a major actor tells the story of ex-serviceman who works as a messenger for criminal organizations. After all, Han Lue has a score to settle Shaw shouldn't be sleeping easy after what he did to the beloved character.We come back from the dark side of the Moon (and cinematography) to discuss the principal movies in Jason Statham’s career. Therefore, Fast & Furious fans should hopefully anticipate being reacquainted with Deckard Shaw at some point later down the road. He also expressed interest in returning to the regular F&F universe. In an interview with Collider, Jason Statham showed enthusiasm for Hobbs & Shaw 2, though the action actor admits that the script needs to come together before he signs on the dotted line. But when can we expect to reunite with these high-speed knuckleheads? For now, we'll have to wait and see, but Statham is game. Suffice to say, we haven't seen the last of Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw. A sequel hasn't been officially announced, but Hobbs & Shaw did better-than-decent business, pulling in nearly $800 million worldwide. In the vein of Tango & Cash, this ludicrous spectacle was more winking and sardonic than previous F&F movies it relied heavily on the rough-and-tumble star power of its A-list lead actors. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, was a big-budget showcase for its lead actors and producers, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Jason Statham. How about that?Ī high-testosterone, push-and-pull buddy/frenemy spin-off adventure centered around two rip-roaring side characters from the Fast & Furious universe, Hobbs & Shaw, a.k.a. Since it's currently in post-production, though, it's not impossible to presume that we might be getting two Jason Statham/Guy Ritchie movies in one year. Right now, we don't know when we can expect to see this new movie, which is reportedly titled Five Eyes. While the plot sounds like a million other movies in the increasingly expansive spy genre, this one should hopefully benefit from the long-standing collaborative mojo shared between its lead star and experienced filmmaker, along with the spunky energy and quick wit that's typically found in the filmmaker's better films. It's a mismatched pairing that might prove to be equally as volatile - perhaps equally as explosive, too. During this perilous mission, our loner agent must learn to collaborate with a top-notch CIA agent (Aubrey Plaza). The actor and director will reunite once more for an untitled action-thriller that will feature Statham as an M16 agent who gets recruited by a global intelligence alliance to track down and stop the sale of deadly weapon technology that threatens the world's annihilation. There was an extended delay between 2005's Revolver and this past weekend's Wrath of Man, but we won't have to wait quite as long for the next team-up between Jason Statham and Guy Ritchie. Untitled Guy Ritchie Film - TBD (Post-Production)

[bitchassbucky]

.exe

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning/s: stalkers, bucky being a creepo, reader being a creepo. dark!IT!bucky x dark!reader :-) female & male masturbation, voyeurism (i think), cyber crimes being committed.

A/N: this is my birthday gift to @babyboibucky <3 to my boo, I love you and you have a special place in my heart. this is gonna be a multi-part thing, it's too long to be considered as a one-shot, oops.

please enjoy! :D

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist

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4:49 PM

Just 11 more minutes until he can pack his bags up for the weekend.

One new ticket - URGENT

Goddamn it.

Bucky pulled his earphones out in annoyance, just another office idiot who doesn’t know how to print A4 sheets. If the office were to be held hostage and printing out was the only thing that can save them, half of the floor would be dead.

The new name caught his eye, Y/N Y/L. A new hire, it seems like.

Subject: One new ticket - URGENT

Hi, this is Y/N, employee number 0008675309. I’m new here and was told to send a ticket for the equipment request.

Thank you and have a great weekend!

Oh, Bucky’s gonna have a great weekend indeed. Out of pure curiosity, he’s already pulled up your employee file. A cute smile to a cute name. His annoyance dispersing already, just by thinking of ways how he can spend time with you.

Hey, Y/N! Bucky types into the text field, Welcome to the company. I’m Bucky and I got assigned to help you get settled. Do you prefer having a desktop or a laptop? I’ve attached a form in this thread, send it to me once you’re done.

Have an awesome weekend too!

As much as he hates sending out chirpy emails, he can’t help but to smile when you immediately send a reply back.

Thanks, Bucky! So sorry for sending in the request super late. Got caught up with the onboarding. Is it okay if I use my laptop until we can get a unit to my place? PC or laptop is fine with me.

Best,

Y/N

Bucky fights off another smile, rubbing his hand over his stubbled cheek as he carefully types out a reply. Unlike other days, he doesn’t mind staying beyond 5 PM today. It’s not like he has other plans for his Friday night.

No worries, Y/N. He’s already loving your name. Happy to help!

Do you have your laptop with you? I can set it up before you go home for the weekend. I can probably send in the ticket to the guys so you can have your work equipment next week.

His deft fingers are dancing over his mechanical keyboard, clacking away while the clock ticks closer to the weekend.

A ping, another reply from you. You’re new, you’re still excited to make friends in the office. If you only knew how stupid they are, though.

Yeah! I have it on me right now. I actually work on the same floor, I can drop it off there right now.

Bucky glances around his office, looking for any reflective surface he can check himself on. He runs his hand through his hair, taming any stubborn locks that fell out of his low bun. His shirt hangs just right against his huge frame, his pants hugging his figure, accentuating his silhouette even more.

Just as the clock ticks 5:00, a soft knock raps against his door, “come in!”

You are cuter, prettier in person. Your perfume hits his nose and he’s floored—metaphorically.

“Mr. Barnes,” you say, your demeanor somewhat meek and shy. Well, of course, you are. Your frame is nothing against the hunk of the man who just stood up to greet you.

“Bucky.” He prompts, smiling. You reciprocated the smile, but you really weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe a scrawny little dude mousing away on a keyboard?

“Bucky, thank you so much for doing this. I know you’d rather get off of work since it’s Friday and all.”

He hums, taking your laptop in his hands. You notice the rings adorning his fingers—complementing his tanned skin tone and—it’s not appropriate to stare at a stranger’s hand.

Heat creeps up your face as he turns to look at the stickers stuck to your laptop, “you know, I like this band.” Bucky says, pointing to an old sticker, he carefully sets down your laptop on his workstation.

“They’re great,” you muse, taking a seat on a plastic chair by the door.

You take a gander around his small office. There was nothing out of the ordinary but the big black server blinking at the back, so why do you feel trapped?

“Sorry about the temp, we have to keep the room cold for the server in the back,” Bucky explains, noticing how your arms are crossed over your chest. The skirt you’re wearing isn’t doing you any better too.

You stammer out an it’s okay with a small smile.

Bucky worked on your computer quietly, using a USB stick to load all the applications you need to set up a temporary work account on your laptop. After a few minutes, he beckoned you to come here. You scoot over to his desk, rolling the chair forward and beside him. Not too close though.

“So, this note has all your generated passwords. Type those into the app when you first log in, then you can change it if you want to.” Bucky explains, the cursor idles on the screen. He tries not to get too close to you, to give you personal space. It’s a professional workplace after all.

“This app,” he drags a window, pulling up an application, “tracks your hours and your keystrokes. It’s company-mandated because managers want to micro-manage their people, I guess.” Bucky shrugs, his disdain showing through his voice. His tone shifting lower than what you’d expected.

“Sorry, I just hate their new protocol,” his face and voice softening as he looks at you, “it’s a total privacy breach if you ask me.”

You’d normally disagree but something tells you that maybe he’s got a point. Your breath hitched in your throat as he leans closer as if to whisper something, “this note right here? It’s a nifty thing, a little script so your computer doesn’t go to sleep when you’re away. It enables and disables your numlock pad so it counts as a keystroke.”

A smirk finds its place on your face, “well, that’s…something, isn’t it?”

Never in your life would you find yourself flirting with a co-worker but there’s something about Bucky that made you excited. Interested. Intrigued.

Bucky nods, rolling his chair away to fetch a pad of sticky notes. “Another thing from your friendly neighborhood IT guy,” he peels off a leaf and sticks it on your laptop’s built-in camera, “keep your cam covered.”

You give him a chuckle and a playful salute, “yes, sir.”

Bucky’s a modern man. He sees a pretty girl and he gets giddy. He talks to a pretty girl and he gets flustered. But you—you make him feel more than giddy and flustered. There was something familiar about you, and your eyes. Has he seen you before? Met you, even? No, that’s impossible—if he had met you before, he’d surely remember you.

It was 5:34 PM when he gave you your laptop back and sent in an urgent request for your equipment. While taking down the elevator to the lobby, Bucky gave you a few tips on how to ‘survive’ working in the office. According to him, as far as you go in on time and kept your head above the rumors, you’d do fine.

He asked about your first week and he told you about this joint near the building that serves the best burgers and fries.

You’ve got a good feeling that you just made your first friend.

—

The sun was already setting down when you pulled into your apartment’s parking lot. At the very last minute, you turned into a drive-through and got some food on the go. The side trip took out 10 minutes of your time but at least you dodged the awful traffic that was building up by the highway.

Along with your laptop bag and your food, you trudge up to your third-floor apartment. It wasn’t what you wanted—the windows faced the street, the screen door doesn’t lock all the way—but it’s the one you got. As long as it’s got four walls and a roof, right?

You slip out of your work clothes and into some comfy jammies after a rewarding shower; the sooner you can get your food heat up, the sooner you can eat, and drink and then go to sleep.

So while waiting for the microwave to beep, you pry open your laptop. You told Bucky not to shut it down after he worked on it as to not lose your work on another profile, which he understood.

The work account he set up greeted you, along with the bright pink sticky note he stuck to your webcam. That wasn’t real, was it? All those cautionary tales of hackers using webcams to peep on you. Maybe he’s just trying to scare you, like some kind of initiation. Without a second thought, you took off the sticky note. It was kinda annoying anyway.

Clicking the Log Out Work button, your personal account popped into the frame. Your opened apps and documents displaying themselves for you to use. You pulled up Spotify and clicked on the first playlist you saw—which happened to be your intimate playlist.

Sure, the Pavlov reaction is real because halfway through the first song, you already found yourself getting all hot and bothered. This one’s your favorite song too.

You groan in annoyance, your food’s no longer a priority.

Picking up the laptop from the table, you walk to your bedroom, not bothering to shut the door. You live alone, it’s fine. You put the laptop on its loudest setting, setting it on your desk and you plopped down on your bed, the pillows and the comforter pooling on one side.

Your room is illuminated by a streak of light from the street. Your curtains flowing softly with the breeze that just came in.

Glancing at your laptop, you remembered Bucky. How his office smelled when you first walked in. How he stood tall when he greeted you. How he smiled. Those goddamn rings of his.

Before you caught yourself thinking rationally, your fingers are already splayed even over your thighs, caressing the soft flesh of your legs.

Bucky’s smirk and his cologne finding purchase in your fogged brain. Thoughts of him pulling you aside into his office to fool around—voices above hushed whispers as your skin erupts in goosebumps, the chilled air of his office finding its way up to your spine.

Oh, fuck it.

You undress fast, flinging your shirt over your head, dropping it somewhere below the bed. The air in your room making your nipples hard and erect as you pinch them. You breathe out a sigh, the heat of the moment creeping up your torso.

The material of your panties dampening as you imagine yourself bent over his desk, your skirt bunched over your hips as he laps your sopping cunt. Bucky’s tongue exploring your folds up and over until your pussy’s a quivering mess of drool and spit.

Your fingers slip past the band of your underwear. Even you surprised yourself by how wet you are.

God, you met him once and he’s already inching his way into your mind.

But who could blame you? You’ve been all over his Facebook profile when you learned his name via the office’s organizational chart. The first time you saw him, walking around the office with a laptop in his hands, you already knew you wanted to at least formally meet him. A scroll on his page, you found a band that you could tolerate listening to. (They’re okay, just not your taste in music.)

A plan came to mind when your department head told the team that you can work from home from time to time—only if you agreed to use a work laptop, a company-owned one. Your manager advised you to put in the request as soon as you can, for you to secure a unit before the on-hand supplies dwindle.

Deliberately sending in the request late—way, way later—than what your manager told you just so you could pull up the ‘new hire’ card and act dumb.

And it looked like he bought it too.

The image of him fucking you quiet while he grabs you from behind played inside your mind like a memory—a vision. Of how his thick cock would fill you up until your pussy is clenching around him. Would he pinch your throbbing clit, making you squirm and cream around him?

Your fingers are compared nothing to his, that’s for sure. But it does the work for now.

A breathy moan comes out of your mouth as you play with your clit, your cunt dripping down wetness as you continue to fondle your tits.

His hands would make a great addition to your chokers.

Your toes curl and your breath quickens, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening—white-hot heat creeping up your limbs.

Oh, fuck, Bucky!

—

His ears perked up as he heard you moaning his name.

Bucky was busy watching you enjoy yourself when he got caught in the moment and decided to enjoy himself too.

He was barely keeping himself behaved when you first walked into the floor wearing a button-up and slacks that accentuated your backside. Bucky wished he was the one who gave you the tour and know your name for the first time, but that was impossible—he was in the IT department.

So when he got the news that new hires will be given the chance to work from home, he hoped that he gets to be the one to help you set up.

He was losing hope by the time he got your request, he thought that you opt not to work at home but then there you were, sending him an apologetic email on a late Friday afternoon.

Of course, he happily obliged. He even set up himself a little virtual camp in the background of your computer just so he can continue spending time with you.

Just thinking about you is already making him hard again. Bucky already came in hot spurts of white as he watched you desperately undress earlier. What can he say—he was waiting for you to show your tits already. As such, he correctly guessed that you’d be annoyed with the glaringly bright sticky note he used to ‘cover’ your webcam with.

But seeing you fingerfuck yourself all alone just wasn’t enough for him, he has to have you all by yourself.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

WARNINGS: Cursing. Homophobic comments from Tr*y [his in script use of the word fa*ry once] Reader fucking SNAPS.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The five of us rode our bikes down the road to school, El on the back of Mike's bike as usual. She seemed eager to soak in everything around her like she would never see it again. Wind brushed the wig aside and she clung tightly to Mike.

Mike was beginning to slow down, the group of us all growing tired from the ride. Soon enough, however, we were walking through the back doors to the schools. Mike was in the lead as he turns to speak to us as we walked.

"Okay, remember, if anyone sees us, look sad."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'He is still missing, isn't he?'

My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the speaker.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honor Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period."

I looked to the ceiling at the mention of my best friend and by the time I looked ahead, we had made it outside the AV room. Mike was attempting to open the door but it must be locked.

"It's locked." Mike confirmed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Hey, El, is there any way for you to open it?" I ask.

Before she could respond, we all jumped at the voice of Mr. Clarke and froze.

"Boys? Lady." He nodded towards El.

"Hey." Lucas breathed, obviously startled.

"Assembly's about to start."

"We know. We're just, you know..." Mike works a solemn look on his face as he spoke and the others seemed to join in, including me although it wasn't that difficult.

"Upset." Lucas nodded, dropping his nervous smile.

"Yeah, definitely upset," Dustin muttered.

I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better to say nothing at all and even looked down to the ground. Channeling all my emotions from just hours before.

"We need some alone time."

"To... cry." Dustin hesitated.

"Yeah, listen... I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then," Mr. Clarke reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

He tossed the key to Mike who caught it upon instinct.

"the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?"

We all looked to each other, wearing subtle triumphant smirks. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Mr. Clarke seemed to finally notice that he had no idea who El was.

"I don't believe we've met. What's your name?"

El seemed shocked and began to say 'Eleven' when Mike panicked and cut in.

"Eleanor! She's my, uh-"

"Cousin!" Lucas jumped in.

"Second cousin," Dustin added.

I started to laugh but caught myself just in time to play it off as a cough. I pretended to clear my throat as I looked to Mr. Clarke who was looking a bit confused.

"She's here for Will's funeral." Mike sighed.

Mr. Clarke seemed content with this answer as he shrugged and turned to her.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances."

She looked to us and Mike, then turned to Mr. Clarke nodding her head. "Thank you."

A small smile fought its way into my face. She was doing great.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?"

El shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin cuts in.

"I have a lot of Swedish family."

"She hates it there."

"Cold!"

"Subzero."

Meanwhile, I had fought back another laugh at the whole exchange and I had to play it off as a cough yet again.

"Are you alright, Mr. Henderson?"

My head snapped up, but luckily I was fairly quick on my feet this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I woke up with a fever, haven't been feeling well all morning. But I insisted on coming. For Will." Mr. Clarke seemed satisfied with my answer and dismissed our odd behavior.

"Shall we?"

"Yep!" We all follow Mr. Clarke to the gymnasium in silence.

As we get closer, I can hear the principal speaking from inside.

"At times like these, it is important that we come together as a community. We come-"

Dustin swung open the gymnasium doors far too hard and the loud bang echoed throughout the gym that had drawn the attention of the crowd. I elbow Dustin. I feel him shifting on his feet beside me as panic sets in.

"Abort." He whispers, turning to leave.

Thankfully, Lucas stops him and shoved him forward.

"We come together to heal... we come together to grieve..."

As the principle continues his speech, the five of us wander into the bleachers to find a seat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Will Byers' death is an unimaginable tragedy. Will was an exceptional student and a wonderful friend to all of us. It's impossible to express the hole his loss will leave in our community. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy Sloane. She's a local grief counselor from the church over in Jonesboro."

While the principal carried on, the five of us all looked to each other, all sharing the same thought.

'We need to get to that radio. And soon.'

"I just want those of you who are having trouble dealing with this tragic loss..."

"Look at these fakers." I heard Mike whisper.

"They probably didn't even know his name till today." Lucas scoffed.

My head whipped to the side when I heard hushed chuckling. I wasn't surprised to see Troy and his friend as the source of the laughter. I glared daggers into them and my hands gripped the edge of my seat until I was sure my knuckles would tear.

The boys and El seemed quick to follow my gaze because soon enough, we were all leaning over glaring at them.

"Who is interested in this? This is so stupid." He laughed.

I grit my teeth as my vision filled with red.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Y/n..." Lucas warned, reaching out for my arm. I wasn't paying attention, but for some reason, I felt his hand leave my arm almost as soon as he grabbed it.

"'Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he's going to leave a hole in the community.'" Troy mocked, beginning to fake sob.

I began to shake with rage, wanting nothing more than to stand up and scream 'fu-'

"Y/n,"

"What?!" I hissed at Lucas, my head whipping around to face him, my jaw clenched.

I saw fear in his eyes as he glanced between my eye line and my hands. I looked down at my own hands to see the dangerously strong grip on the wood. I yanked my hands off the bench and rubbed my hands together, keeping to myself.

I was shocked to see the faintest imprint of the most vaguely shaped hand on the bench. It was hardly noticeable and I had to do a double take.

'What the hell?'

El was leaning over and she met my gaze. She briefly looked at my hands, seeming to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. Then looked to Troy.

"Mouth breather." She whispered.

I let out a strained chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, mouth breather." I whispered, looking back and Troy.

Eventually, the bell rang, dismissing the assembly. Even though Lucas and Dustin seemed to have let it go, Mike and I were not finished.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Troy." Mike called.

I could tell he could hear us because he barely slowed down but was clearly laughing. I stomped towards him and called him out, loud and clear.

"Hey, jackass!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He seemed like he wanted to be mad, but almost like he was happy he got a rise out of us.

"You think that shit was funny?" My voice never wavered and the boys and El seemed just as shocked as I was feeling at my newfound courage.

"What'd you say, orphan?" He asked, dumbfounded.

He only called me that when he was really pissed at me.

"You heard me! And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan if I was adopted, you dumbass! Now what the hell is in that tiny brain of yours that would compel you to laugh at someone dying, huh? I mean, shit, you must really be sick in the head. I feel sorry for you." I spit out my last few words, my voice dripping with malice.

By now I was in his face, finally letting out all the pent-up aggression I've harbored for years. And it felt good.

"Get the hell outta my face, freak!" He yells shoving me back.

I get ready to strike but Dustin grabs my arm before my fist can collide with Troy's face. I struggle to get free but my brother was determined to hold me back, with the help of Lucas of course.

"Control your 'brother', Toothless. Or he just might lose a few teeth of his own." He glares at me and I still attempt to break free.

Mike seems to have found his voice as all of this happened because he was the next to speak.

"H-Hey, he's right! Laughing like that? That's a pretty messed up thing to do."

Troy, glares at us as his minion speaks.

"Didn't you listen to the counselor, freaks? Grief shows itself in funny ways."

"You little shit-" I attempt once more to get a right hook in but Lucas stops me.

Troy laughs at me struggling.

"Besides, what's there to be sad about, anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"

Lucas loosened his grip on me, silently letting me go as Troy began dancing around, mocking Will.

I swung my fist and I felt it collide with his nose with a satisfying crack. He stumbled back and grasped his nose in surprise, he pulled his hand away to find a few drops of blood on his hands. The crowd that had gathered while all of this unfolded, gasped in surprise. I even earned some scattered cheers among the students.

I seemed to realize the consequences of my actions, but I was prepared to face them. It was worth it. I watched as he stormed towards me, blinded by fury.

"You're dead, freak!" He stomped towards me at a shocking speed and I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable retaliation but it never came.

All I felt was a sudden pair of hands on my right arm, harshly pushing me out of the way. I looked in time to see it was Mike who pushed me out of the way. I gakwed in confusion at what happened next.

Troy had just begun to raise his arm as he was only inches from Mike when he froze.

He completely froze in place.

He seemed just as confused, if not more than anyone. That confusion quickly bubbled into fear as his eyes scanned the room as much as he could without moving his head.

It finally dawned on me and I spared a quick glance at El, who was laser-focused on Troy, head tilted down and the smallest hint of blood dripping from her nose. I smirked and looked back to Troy, a smug smile on my face.

I couldn't hold back the laughter as I saw his pants begin to dampen with urine. A stream of it began pooling at his leg, and it even soaked into his socks and shoes. Other students caught on quickly and one boy in particular, began laughing.

"Dude, Troy peed himself!"

The circle of kids erupted into laughter as Troy stood frozen in a puddle of his own pee. I turned to El, who wore a devilish smirk on her face as she glanced between Mike and me. She quickly wiped her nose and started walking away. The boys and I enjoyed this brief moment of bliss.

"Hey! What is going on here?" The principle shouted.

"Come on!" I whisper, gesturing for the boys who all had the same idea. Before people could start asking questions we grouped together and made our way to the AV room unnoticed.

[hermitdyke]

Please do go off about metanarratives and colaborative storytelling in LL if you want king, my analisys loving heart is curious and interested

Anon thank you so much I was really unsure to share this. Warning for 3L and LL spoilers.

3rd Life and by extension, Last Life is a great example of a Metanarrative and an Emergent Narrative. The definition used of metanarrative for this is “An overarching account or interpretation of events and circumstances that provides a pattern or structure for people’s beliefs and gives meaning to their experiences”. An Emergent Narrative is “any video game storyline that is not written into the game by its developers, but emerges from the player’s interactions with various gameplay subsystems”.

Taking these definitions and placing it in the context of a collaborative Lets-Play series with multiple creators recording and taking part, allows us to analyze a complete storyline and find relevancy and meaning to the things the characters do/say/own, even if seemingly inconsequential from the start.

Multiple Perspectives and Metanarrative

The collaboration of 14 and 17 creators for each series is crucial in understanding how the story functions as it does. The individual’s viewing of a single point of view or POV of any single player reveals an amount of new information, interactions, and conflicts. The viewer’s knowledge of the single character’s experiences is about the same. When viewing multiple perspectives, the story expands significantly, showing different relationships between everyone and provides context to events that one may not have seen in the single POV.

For example, in viewing Impulse’s finale episode for 3rd Life, viewers may be confused or lost on why Bdubs attacked and took Impulse’s final life over a clock that Scar had given him. If the viewer had not seen Bdub’s first episode, they would not have realized the relevance between Bdubs and Scar with a clock, being that one was given to him at the very beginning from Scar during an early mining session. Viewers would also not know unless they had viewed Scar’s finale that the clock that was given to Bdubs was taken off of Impulse after losing his yellow life.

Immediately, the lack of viewership on multiple perspectives limits the scope on why the event is relevant, and the viewer may find the story ending dissatisfying, when in fact it is incredibly false. The cross-analysis of perspectives and events gives meaning to this otherwise simple event and forms a narrative from a simple item in the game- an Emergent Narrative.

Emergent Narratives, Lives, and Boogeymen

The term “subsystems” in the definition of Emergent Narratives is another way of describing a game’s mechanics. 3rd Life and Last Life differs from vanilla Minecraft in that they’re playing in a limited life, hardcore system, with the random threat of the Boogeyman and a proximity voice-mod. Without these, the narrative would be dramatically different, although it is possible to form an Emergent Narrative using vanilla Minecraft (DSMP!Eret’s Betrayal is a popular example). Because of these features and players interacting using these features, a narrative emerges from what in any casual Lets Play, could be considered a “bit”. This is what makes 3rd Life and Last Life stand out.

In 3rd Life, an emergent narrative is formed when Ren asks Martyn to kill him, despite Martyn being green and him being yellow. Ren’s use of the red life mechanic provided him a way to protect Renchanting under the threat and pressure of Scar. Ren (the player) judged being able to attack anyone at will overruled the safety of having multiple lives, and that he now poses as a new threat to the server. They also use a vanilla mechanic in renaming the Red Winter axe so all members could recognize their newfound power and creating a desirable item in their alliance. In “proving his loyalty”, Martyn and Ren’s storyline really kicks off and starts to conflict with the other members as a new power on the server.

A recent example in Last Life is from Scar’s perspective and goes to show just how possible it is that Last Life can/will follow a similar route as its counterpart. Bdubs in his first episode asks Etho, “if you were the Boogeyman and I died to a mob in here, would you be like, ‘man”, is that a consideration you’d make?”, “..like I missed my chance, should’ve taken them when I could. (Timestamp: Bdubs Last Life Episode 1, 17:20-17:38)

This is ironic, considering that Bdubs at the time was the Boogeyman. An episode later, one of the two boogeymen of the session, Joel leads Lizzie into a trap, getting in a few hits, only to fail and lose a life himself. The damage that he dealt to Lizzie weakened her was only after killed by a mob, and brings the scenario Bdubs suggested into reality.

Without the use of the limited lives, Boogeyman system, and the limited Enchanting table resource, this narrative thread would not have worked. And in the Metanarrative of the story, unless the viewers both viewed Bdub’s and Joel/Lizzie’s perspectives, they would not have found relevancy in this scenario.

Lack of Script

The most important part of the Metanarrative and Emergent Narrative is that no one knows that these events are important or are going to amount to something in the end. It is the viewer’s knowledge and creators’ forethought of the series to see the narrative emerge from just a couple of friends playing a video game and starting a war, to developed characters with an overarching storyline in a limited episode run. At the start, none of the stories was intentional. The individual’s interpretation of the events and forming these connections between one or more perspectives is the real storyline, and if the creator wants to support this discovered story, they can (Martyn and Scott’s 3L endings).

A great example of this inability to script events is in Bdubs’ 3rd Lift perspective. In his first episode, he passes by a cliff face with a pond below. As he approaches and looks down the cliff, he says, “Nobodies against each other, y’know, it’s just kinda hanging out.” As he passes by and down the hill, “Eventually, once we get down lower, like once you’re on your third life, I think then its vengeance time.” (Timestamp: Bdubs 3L Episode 1, 12:41- 12:51)

Because of his experiences and the events unfolding in 3rd Life, the irony is not lost when he is killed just at the bottom of the exact same cliff by Grian and Scar as revenge. These seemingly irrelevant events in the moment form patterns across the entire series, with some underdeveloped locations, suddenly becoming relevant. A seemingly irrelevant moment is now much darker and holds so much more meaning to the character.

What does this mean for Last Life’s story? Is there an Emerging Metanarrative?

Narratives can be found anywhere, and in collaboratively playing an open-world sandbox game, there’s almost no avoiding it. With the start of Last Life, any of these seemingly casual conversations or collected items could have any sort of meaning in the future. This happened in Scar’s episode this week where he worries that he’ll drop from 5 to 1 life and get boogeyman “Oh no- we’re gonna lose all of our lives, aren’t we? We have five lives and by the end of this I’m gonna be a red life.”(Timestamp: Scars LL Episode 2, 4:54-4:59)

Only in the end, for both him and Joel to be Boogeymen, and for Joel to drop to red and lose his alliance with Scar. The catastrophe of the episode essentially avoided Scar, even though he was constantly at the forefront of the conflict. These small off comments, seemingly inconsequential are now made relevant and active conflicts between the characters.

And there’s plenty more of these events across 3rd Life, and predicting what is to come is nearly impossible (though I do have my own ideas).

-Comments made towards Etho’s tree and wool base, only for both to be burned multiple times, and all of Etho’s deaths being related to fire.

-Martyn to BigB in early episodes, wanting to track down Ren and their relationship and building of Renchanting/Dogwarts

(Personal theory- there are currently 3 wither skulls on the last life server, belonging to Grian, Etho, and Pearl/Scott. Currently, they are irrelevant, but there are THREE WITHER SKULLS, with the entire server having easy access to soulsand.)

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|ten.

chapter ten: aconite 

↳ flower meaning: [beautiful flower, poisonous] be cautious 

chapter summary: reasons to love, reasons not to and conversations that should be held. 

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: it’s slightly angsty, slightly fluffy, the chapter begins at some point but will not be at that point, you’ll see

word count: 10.2K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles  

nine: in which we get to know who Clark is

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hey guys! So as you might have noticed I took a break, school has been super demanding and honestly I wasn’t as eager to write this, kinda lost motivation to write perennial because it got too demanding and honestly, well you know it... But I’m back on track! I hope you like this chapter, it’s slightly different. 

Sometimes life is ironic, like winning the lottery after you die, or meeting the love of your life and finding out they’re married, or rain pouring down on your wedding day. 

Ironic by Alanis Morissette had been the first song that had played when they’d arrived to that bar, James remembered. 

Ironic. 

But the most ironic thing to y/n at least was Dancing Queen being sung in the background by two—no, three drunken girls, the bright notes buzzing, as they were too boozed up to hit any kind of decent note or any kind of lyric. It was ironic, as y/n was trying to hold back the tears as she rushed through the dancing crowd, a very unaware crowd, that was sweating and dancing and cheering and singing to the beaming to the cheerful song as she tried to swim her way through to finally get outside. 

Y/n knew Tom and her had never been fine. It just wasn’t a word in their relationship vocabulary. It was usually chaos. Like what it felt at that precise moment. She knew that Tom and her were chaos, that was true. But this. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

It was something she already knew would happen, eventually, though it’s stupid to walk into a relationship knowing you’redoomed.  It must have been a figment of her imagination. What she had seen. And on her birthday. Her very own birthday. 

But it wasn’t. 

She hadn’t imagined it. 

But what exactly had led to the chaos? Why had it come so easily? Everything had been particularly lovely. 

But of course, she knew that the fact she was crying outside a stupid bar trying to catch her breath, as she could still hear the faint music from the inside was no coincidence and was no surprise. Her sorrow had had a beginning and this chaos had been building up since James’ arrival, this was the ending she definitely didn’t want. 

Not that it had to do with her brother per se, but it came from that moment. Or maybe she was just trying to blame it on someone else rather than on Tom. 

She did blame it a bit on James. 

“Y/N, here you are,” James said as soon as he had walked out of the bar. “It’s—“

“I don’t want to hear it right now,” she stated before looking up to see her brother. “I know it, James—“

“Y/N—“James wanted to calm her down. “I” 

“I know, you told me so-”She snapped. “I fucking know that. Go and search for your fucking boyfriend that’s the only think you care about-” 

Clark had walked out as if he knew he’d be mentioned. Clark had arrived days before, apparently James announcing his engagement hadn’t exactly been to share it, but rather a warning to y/n. 

“Y/N, are you alright-” Clark had tried to ask. 

“No, get out of my face, I need to… Where the hell is Emma?” Y/N didn’t mean to snap at him but she couldn’t care any less. 

“It wasn't him,” Clark had tried to say. 

But it had been. However, y/n guessed she knew what he meant. 

“I don’t want to hear it,” she said. “Could’ve been any other day but no, everyone fucking decided to ruin my damn birthday, I didn’t even care about it! I just—Need to leave.” 

“But I’m sure Tom—“

And even though y/n knew it wasn’t... it felt...it had hit too close to a feeling that she was too familiar with. A deja-vu if one must say. A nightmare that she had once forgotten. 

Of course, nobody did understand why she had reacted that way.

Correction, they did. They would expect her to react that way because what she’d seen had been hell. But they didn’t understand what she truly felt. Maybe Sam, probably Sam. Who had seen her all those years back, way too long ago. Yet it seemed like just yesterday. But Sam had seen a very different y/n back then...Not stronger but a y/n that kept her feelings. Not like this, running away from it, wasn’t y/n supposed to be stronger now? 

He guessed that reliving it wasn’t easy, especially by what came afterwards. There was a slight difference this time, however, huge difference, actually. 

Tom did run after her, and he was probably still searching for her.  

“You don’t get it,” y/n said. “I—I need—It just felt—It felt just like that time.” 

James saw Tom rushing out of the bar, too. He pitied Tom for once this week. 

This wasn’t Tom’s fault… allegedly. Technically, it wasn’t. Now, if you look at the background of course he was to blame and he was an idiot, but this was something that James… could understand. He could, in a way, team up with Tom. 

James knew this would eventually happen. This chaos was ticking and it was only a matter of time till the chaos exploded. 

Relationships are complicated, but they’re bright most of the time. When two people are in love what else can you do about it?

James knew it, love was a bitch and love can make us do impossible things. Some people often confuse love with possession or love with passion or love for a caprice. James was particularly scared y/n would confuse love with a memory. 

Love shouldn’t hurt. That’s why he was probably too worried about y/n. And too angry at Tom for making a fool out of his sister. He, however, was impressed by that. But not really since James knew that from a very young age y/n was stupid enough when it came to Tom. But to make a fool out of y/n when she was the one to almost usually keep her sanity? 

James was impressed by how easily it was for Tom to make y/n go stupidly crazy when it came to him. Even now, he had been so impressed by his sister’s stupid infatuation. James did, however, like that Tom managed to get that smile he hadn’t seen in a while.  But she looked very stupid while at it. 

Tom was an idiot, too. Y/N also managed to make Tom the most stupid man on the planet. Not that he needed help with that, though. 

However, just as fast as Tom could make y/n smile he could be just as fast to break her heart. Most of the time he didn’t mean it, and James was sure Tom didn’t mean to this time. 

It’s the backstabbing disadvantage Tom had for being an idiot. 

James had been one of the few people who had seen the true nature of their relationship. He had indeed noticed Tom was so foolishly in love with y/n from an early beginning and he had been the one to point it out when she was just a kid. He wished he hadn’t because the moment y/n had heard him say those words, she had turned into a very stupid little girl. 

He had, however hinted it out to Tom, several occasions, that he did notice. 

“Y/N looked pretty, huh?” He had asked once after seeing the boy blush. 

“Breathtaking much, Tom? Please close that mouth.” 

“You and y/n looked awfully good together in those pictures from prom.” 

“Stop staring at my sister, eyes up here buddy.” 

James did notice. Tom had even once told James about it. In his own way. 

“I don’t actually hate your sister, not really.” 

But he didn’t quite understand why they acted like that. Why had they been so full of pride to admit they were in love with each other? How bad would it be for both of them to admit that their eyes followed each other? Why did it hurt them so badly to admit they made each other blush and smile? 

James had seen it after y/n came back from Rome, from both sides. Y/N would hum songs, Tom would be smiling more. 

They’d be talking. Not fighting. Even laughing together. 

And James had seen that this week, and he had been proven wrong. They truly were in love, even after all, even after everything. He could see them both, trying to fight for each other, the simplest of things he’d seen like Tom pushing y/n’s hair back if she was reading the script and it bothered her sight, or y/n gently squeezing Tom’s arm when she saw he was nervous about directing. Or both of them giving each other a look, with probably an inside joke of theirs or as if they were speaking with only their sight and then looking away and smiling to themselves. 

They were in love, and James knew it. James knew love. 

Love for him was Clark. 

His damned secret, kept for too long from y/n. He would’ve kept him a secret for longer, not because he was ashamed, and not because he didn’t like him. But because… Clark was something so personal for James and sharing him meant losing their intimacy. 

Clark and James were fine by themselves, they didn’t need anyone intruding in their relationship. 

Clark is the love we all dear and yearn for, the kind of love you only see in movies in the background, nor even the main characters, just the one perfect couple that’s always in the cafe, quietly smiling at each other. The kind of love that’s cozy, and that though it may be troubled sometimes, it’s truthful. The one love you never want to give up.  

He’d seen the way Tom looked at y/n, it reminded him of the way Clark looked at him. 

Maybe that’s why he wanted to side with Tom this time. 

James was getting married and though it might had come to a surprise to y/n, he knew that if he were to tell Tom, Tom wouldn’t be surprised at all. 

Tom had introduced Clark to James. Maybe he owed him for that.

“This guy, I swear, he’s the perfect catch for you, you’re gonna thank me one day, maybe on your wedding day,” Tom had said with mischief. 

“You know you don’t have to introduce me to every gay guy my age you meet,” James had sassed. “Besides, where did you meet him—?” 

“Golfing, his dad—“

“Oh, he golfs? Hard pass, I hate guys who like golf,” James had cleared. “Pretentious idiots.” 

“Hey!” Tom had frowned, “no, but he doesn’t golf, he hates it, but his dad dragged him along so that’s why I think he’s perfect for you! I swear I had two words with the guy and I—“

“No.” 

“I already gave him your number.” 

He had hated Tom at that point but… he guessed he was very thankful for that and that’s why maybe he was having such a hard time trying to convince himself that Tom wasn’t meant to be for y/n, because if Tom had been so right about Clark, how wrong could he be about y/n? 

James wanted y/n to have a Clark. And though, he had initially loved the idea of Tom and y/n, he now saw how it could end up so badly if they didn’t get rid of the baggage, which was unmistakably very heavy for both of them to ignore. It's baggage that’s been built from years now. 

Baggage that James and Clark didn’t have, because they always talked it out. Baggage that had shown up at that very particular night. 

But he had told y/n about it, he had warned her on his very first day in LA. 

“You’re getting married, oh my god,” y/n had said for what James was sure was the hundredth time. And she had been even more excited when she’d learned he’d be coming. 

“Yes, can we move on—“

“No!” She stopped him. “Why do you want to move on?” 

“Because—“he couldn’t quite explain it. Clark was his. He didn’t have to say anything else. 

“James!” 

“The same reason as to why you didn’t want to tell me about Tom,” James said.

“So you have baggage?” 

“Not—“James closed his eyes. “When you were—Back in Rome.” 

Y/N watched him. “Oh, because—it’s,” y/n understood about it. Love is between the people in love and that’s it. 

“Or—no, no, look, it’s—“James sighed. “I’m—it’s my thing you know?” 

“I’m your sister.”

“It’s not about not sharing it with you,” he rolled his eyes, “it’s about keeping him to myself, you know? To be lucky enough to know what we have.” 

“But—Clark? I thought you—I didn’t know—You said you hated the guy!” 

James glared at his sister waiting for her to see the irony. 

“No, my case is different,” she pointed out. “Tom and I-- well… You said you hated him!” 

“Well, I lied alright? I just never wanted to admit—I mean you knew I was dating him, why does this come as a surprise?” 

“Because you— hated him?”

“I didn't. I just didn’t want to admit that I fell in love with someone Tom introduced me to.” 

She looked away. “See? He’s not that bad. I mean he—he introduced you to him, he's not as bad.” 

“I know he isn’t,” James agreed. “But you have to talk to him.” 

“Everything was simpler when we pretended to hate each other,” y/n had said, melancholically staring at the ceiling as she had a flower pressed to her chest. “Maybe I—understand it, spreading it out is difficult.” 

James rolled his eyes. “Why is it so hard for you to tell him that you’re not okay?” 

“Because I feel like he knows already,” she admitted. “But we're trying to pretend we are  okay, so we… I don’t know, fake it till you make it.”

“Y/N—“

“I’m kidding, I mean—I guess we haven’t really had time to talk, we—We already kind of talked the Timmy thing which—“

James could tell y/n was the one who didn’t want to talk, they were very much alike in that matter. “The Timmy thing?” 

“He’s incredibly jealous of Tim,” she rolled her eyes tiredly, “which I don’t—It’s stupid.” 

“Is it, y/n, didn’t you tell me you slept with him?” 

“Yes but—I—Look,” she coughed. “It’s—Not something—I… I don’t know, when… I saw Cherry, I guess I wanted to get over him, but I can’t… I...it always comes back to him, you know?” 

James watched her, confused. 

“It’s funny, how we translated the bad parts into good ones, and I am so scared that I won’t get to say everything I feel for him for yet another chance…. And he is just...The love of my life, and it feels...there’s no other explanation for it, you know? He just is. And I look back and even though we were always fighting I just…” She took a deep breath. “And it did break me, the Cherry thing, him moving on with someone else just, I guess I wanted to move on, too, I thought… It’s gone, you know? Then he comes back and it’s another spark, you know? I just get out of my stupid senses... but I just did it because I couldn’t bear the thought that we are not meant to be.” 

James remained quiet. 

“And no matter what everyone says, I’d still choose him, you know? It’s so…” She cleared her throat. “So stupid, but then I just remember that feeling with us laughing and smiling and the...The first time he ever said he loved me I couldn’t quite… Believe it, you know? And it’s not… Gosh I hate that we are both so stupid but we’re doing our best, and he…I don’t know. Maybe it’s stupid but I think… I like to think we both missed waking up beside each other.” 

“That’s not love.” 

“No, I know, not that, but it is love, in our own very particular way,  but we’re so much more than that, yes the pieces are all scattered around, but I know I want to fight for it, and… I think our problem is we aimed too high or… I can’t help but be confused about the script you know? Because if it hadn’t been for it… I would’ve never had a chance yet it seemed like I… It’s a very delicate subject, but I don’t know, love is complicated, that’s it. But I love him more than anything.” 

James knew that y/n knew that Tom and her probably didn’t work out. She knew she’d broken Tom’s heart. It was no secret that y/n felt that  the worst thing that she’d ever done was breaking his heart. She knew that, and though everybody said it, she should forgive herself, she knew that it wasn’t easy. 

James didn’t know what to answer. 

“I don’t want to lose him.” 

“Yet you’re loving him as if you are going to,” James intruded. 

“You never know, and i think that’s the best way to love, love as if you’re gonna lose each other, then you know you’re really loving them…. Life has taught us both that we can screw up,” she gulped. “And I don’t know, I know...there’s a part of me that thinks it won’t last even if we try to, you know? But then again, I think about it and I know we’ll eventually end up together again. And I know I… look, I know I shouldn’t be saying this because I need no man but this time in L. A., I felt… numb, you know? And I guess I was sad because there was nothing holding us together, and… I would put on a smile every Friday, you know? Pretend I was okay, and I was healing of course, but I still had so much love left for him. Still do and I don’t want to let go of my chance. Might as well be happy, I’m tired of listening to me crying anyway.” 

Y/N did say ‘you know’ a lot, and James did know. Not sure how. 

“Why do you love him?” He asked. 

“He’s just too good to be true,” y/n smiled slightly, to herself. “I don’t—know, I just do, he’s the only one that gets through to me, and I feel alive when I’m with him,” she bit her lip. “I feel like I am a teenager all over again, but a good way, like when you’re excited about trying new stuff and excited about growing up, and being rebellious, and” she closed her eyes. “As cheesy as it sounds, I just lose all my defenses, but with him, I don’t feel lonely, he’s like… I don’t know, he’s just a song written by the hand of god.” 

James only listened. Y/N wasn’t… this, usually. Y/n never really said things like that. It was odd. 

“Y/N, that’s—“

“I know, I’m being ridiculous,” she blushed. “But I do love him. Because he’s—a moment, he is… I love him because I know him, and even with his flaws I completely love him.” 

“He’s an idiot, y/n, he slept with Cherry.” 

James didn’t understand it. Not really. Or not completely, for that matter. But he knew it. It was so complicated but he didn’t blame her, he guessed that y/n wasn’t a quitter, maybe that’s why she was trying so hard. And maybe she was right, and he knew it, Tom wasn’t that bad… But the fact he’d slept with Cherry was completely inappropriate. 

“I never thought I’d need him,” she admitted. “And I missed him, but I didn’t miss the heartbreak.” 

A broken heart can blind us. 

He’d seen Tom once back in London, and he wasn’t alright. Tom wasn’t doing fine with y/n being away, and with the heartache, his eyes always looked tired, and he was paler, and quiet. 

Tom was never quiet. 

And yet just as James had arrived in Los Angeles he’d seen a very different Tom, one with bright eyes and pink cheeks again. Like y/n, too. Her voice over the phone sounded off, always too distracted, or not there. Now she seemed… better, but still broken. 

James knew there was no use on trying to convince y/n and she had promised that she wouldn’t continue unless she talked to Tom about it. James knew she was so good at avoiding it. 

Y/N had taken James to set the next day and he’d seen them again, very different, very professional. He saw it in their eyes, though. Eyes looking to lock with the other and that shy smile. 

James had to look past that, as he saw his little sister’s dream come true, and he could tell that she didn’t quite believe it herself. And it was like seeing that little girl just from years ago with a hope and a dream and her always bossing the Holland boys around as she wrote a script for their home made movie. 

He saw them all like kids, Tom, Harry, Sam and y/n. It was like them being kids again. In a way. 

Now it was a real set, with real actors, a real movie, a real script and Harry was directing, he couldn’t believe it. Y/N and Tom were discussing over with some of the actors and Harry talked to the crew. 

James guessed Tom and y/n had a lot to say between the chemistry of the actors. He couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing, how they did work together, at least in the professional way, as Tom was directing them.

Did it hurt? James wondered as he watched Tom, directing Gregg, telling him how it should feel: 

“She’s the love of your life and that guy over there took the chance when you blew it up, of course you hate him, he’s the worst person in the world because… What makes him so bad is that… he is perfect for her,” James had heard Tom say. 

James had time to observe y/n and Tom. From afar and when y/n was not hiding. On that particular day when they were rehearsing that one scene when Valerie and Teddy were together, when they were supposed to be in love, dancing, all while William had to watch in the distance. 

Odd scene to see, considering his conversation with y/n. Did y/n have feelings for Tim still? Even if she assured she loved Tom? 

All of James' doubts were clearly erased as soon as he’d seen them.He’d seen them laughing with each other, shyly looking away, and y/n… giggled. 

Y/n giggled? 

It bothered him. Because it felt like Tom didn’t care, as if they’d simply erased it, in a way. But James was very aware that y/n was only bottling it all up, and y/n is dangerous, if she bottles too much she would end up losing control. 

James had seen them walk away together to have lunch, Sam and Harry had gone separate ways after but stayed far enough from them. Emma had joined James instead, they were close to y/n and Tom. 

Emma seemed sad. James couldn’t ask much about it, but from what he’d gathered from Harry, things weren’t going fine. Harry had only mentioned how it would take him a lot of time, that there was hope but that Emma just didn’t want to give in. But James could tell Emma did love Harry, and he admired Emma, her bravery and strength. She had to break off an engagement because her fiance wasn’t sure about it. Of course she wouldn’t forgive him that easily, Harry had been an idiot. 

James wished y/n was a bit more like Emma, y/n was too forgiving, and y/n was too stubborn and too blinded by the stupid boy to see it. 

James and Emma were eavesdropping, because both of them probably didn’t have a conversation themselves, and because both of them had gone close so they could hear, but hidden enough not to be seen. 

Nothing interesting about their conversation, the script, the set. Until...

“I was going to take you camping,” Tom mentioned out of the blue.

 Y/N had chuckled. “What?”

“Yeah,” he gulped. “For your—for your birthday.”

She grinned. “Camping?”

“Yeah,” Tom cleared his throat.

“That sounds so—cool,” y/n said, a bit confused by the idea. 

“But guess that idea is off the charts now.” 

She scowled. “Why?” 

“I am pretty sure your brother doesn’t want you alone with me,” Tom laughed nervously. 

James nodded in agreement to Tom’s statement as Emma tried to hide a snicker.

Y/N sighed, rolling her eyes, shaking her head and letting out a very forced laugh. “He’s an idiot.” 

“No, no, I—I understand it, you’re his little sister and he’s always been very protective.” 

“He hasn’t,” Y/N chuckled.

“Oh, he has, even I know he had a talk with Tim,” Tom hissed the name. 

“What?” 

“Didn’t you know? He told him that if he broke your heart he’d chop his dick off,” he assured her. 

James shrugged and looked at Emma. “And he didn’t,” James whispered. “Because Timmy is a good guy.” 

Emma scoffed. 

“I… oh my god, I didn’t know,” Y/N sounded embarrassed. 

Tom coughed. “I’m terrified of your brother.” 

“Good,” James mouthed to Emma. 

“Hm but what were you planning?” Y/N asked, getting back on the subject. “Camping, really?” 

“I dunno, rent a cabin, go for a hike, spend the day and night together,” Tom had changed his voice and gotten slightly closer to y/n. 

“Hm tell me more,” y/n had grinned. 

James motioned as if he was going to puke. 

“And I thought we could have time to ourselves you know? I know we work best when we are alone,” Tom had continued before getting his lips close to hers. 

“Hm we do,” y/n had closed the gap between them. 

“My sister’s an idiot,” James told Emma. “Why are you letting her do that?” 

Emma rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “I can’t stop her.” 

“And well I thought it’d be romantic,” Tom continued. 

“Hm why don’t we go?” 

Tom laughed. “And take your brother?” 

“We wouldn’t-” 

“We would have to, y/n,” Tom laughed. 

James nodded again. 

“But yeah that was my idea, you and me in the woods with no distractions,” Tom commented to y/n. 

“Hmm…” Y/n had leaned yet again to kiss him. 

James scrunched his nose, he really didn’t understand how Tom managed to get y/n so stupid. 

“You know, the cabin I had seen was really romantic,” Tom explained. 

“Was it now?” y/n blushed. 

“Yes, hm... it had a fireplace, and it was so cozy,” he continued. “And I know it’s not 80’s type of aesthetic you like—“

“No, no, shut up! I would’ve loved it, it sounds so romantic,” y/n had chanted. 

James was confused. “It doesn’t, ew,” he whispered to Emma. 

“It was,” Tom agreed with y/n. 

“And what were we going to do?” Y/n asked. 

James closed his eyes and shook his head. 

“Hm, there was a nice place to go hiking, uh, fishing, maybe? and you know relax, talk, get...cozy,” Tom continued. 

“Oh,so he was right?” Y/n asked. 

“Who was?” Tom frowned, confused. 

“James,” Y/n said. 

James raised his brows at the mention of his name.

“About what?” Asked Tom. 

Y/n giggled. “You were planning on giving me your—” 

Thankfully, Tom hadn’t let her finish the sentence. “You’re taking away all the romance out of it when you say it like that!” 

James wanted to die. 

Y/N laughed, loudly. “But were you?” 

Tom was embarrassed. “I—I mean it may have been on the schedule yes hopefully—I mean don’t say it like that, oh my god, y/n—But—“

“Was it on the schedule then?” Y/n asked. “How did you write it? Sex at 8?“

“No! No, I—it was—Not planned—I mean I wasn’t going to assign like a time but I mean it would I—kinda thought I—mean I knew—I assumed—“

“Oh, so you assumed it?” Y/N laughed. “So you just assumed I was going to ride you?”

James seriously thought he was going to die. 

“No, I didn’t!” Tom was red. “Y/n! I—I no!” 

“So you didn’t want to then?”

“Yes! But—I thought it could be an open possibility?” Tom was nervous. “I—“

Now it was y/n’s turn to not let him finish as she had already kissed him again. Emma was so entertained by the conversation and James’ reaction that she couldn’t hide a lighter for not longer. James lost it by then, so he quickly stood up and walked to them. 

Emma followed, curiously. 

The couple was still kissing. 

James cleared his throat loud enough for both of them to hear him and quickly separate. 

Y/N frowned. “James for god’s sake!” 

James walked over to them, “We are having lunch and I don’t see you eating, so Emma and I should join you.” 

“Sorry y/n,” Emma whispered to her friend. 

Tom and y/n were red, so, so red, and Tom was shaking. James only glared once at Tom before Tom moved away from y/n, just as James sat between them. 

“Your food is intact,” James pointed out. 

Tom moved away. “I—we were.” 

“No, Tom, eating my sister’s face is not lunch,” James cockily said. 

“James what the fuck,” y/n snapped at her brother. 

Tom laughed nervously. “James, c'mon man.” 

Emma felt awkward. “Why don’t we—eat?” 

They stayed quiet for a bit. 

“So, what are you guys?” James asked. 

Tom almost choked on his food. “What?” 

“James!” Y/N complained. 

Emma just smirked. 

“yeah, what are you? Have you guys talked about it? All your emotional baggage?” James pushed. 

Tom coughed. “We have been.. discussing it.” 

Y/N turned to Tom. “don’t answer” 

James smirked. “No, no no no, y/n, I wanna know.” 

Tom nodded. “What do you want to know?” 

“What is going on,” James reminded him. 

“I love your sister,” Tom answered. 

Emma watched between all of them. 

“Doesn’t answer my question,” James raised his eyebrow, as if challenging Tom. 

“James,” Y/N hissed. 

“I—it’s it’s true I am deeply in love with her and have been for a while now,” Tom said as if defending himself. 

“Are you a couple?” James asked. 

“Yes,” Tom said. 

“No,” answered y/n at the same time. 

Both of them turned to each other, with confusion. 

Emma blew her cheeks in. 

“Um… What did you think of the… I saw you guys were working on Jesse’s girl today!” Emma quickly intruded. 

James clicked his tongue. “No, wait Emma… This is interesting,” James continued. 

“What-” Tom frowned watching y/n. 

Y/N shook her head. “James can you please leave us alone.” 

“I… Well, I’m just confused, and I have more questions… A,  y/n why do you keep making out with this man if you’re not a couple I mean you can do whatever the fuck you want with your life but this man may I remind you has broken your heart and hurt you in so many possible ways—even broke your bones?” 

Tom coughed. “That was accidental... all of those.” 

James shook his head. “Eh, I haven't finished pretty boy, and b) why are you Tom, saying you’re a couple when you haven’t talked about it?” He pushed. 

Y/N glared at her brother. “James this isn’t any of your business.” 

Tom only clenched his jaw. 

“Uh, er… Guys, I’m gonna….” Emma had awkwardly stood up, “I’m gonna pretend they need me over there,” she announced before leaving. 

“You’re fucking insane,” y/n declared at her brother before storming off, following Emma, leaving James and Tom alone. 

Tom avoided his gaze. 

“I know you hate me, but-” Tom started. 

“I don’t, I care a lot about you and that’s why I’m doing this…” He said. 

Tom scoffed. “Oh, so you’re helping me out with this?” He glared. 

“I’m not,” James said. “But you perfectly know what you did to y/n, and I’m sorry Tom but you can’t-” 

“It’s between me and her,” he said. 

“But I know you both, and you’re both so stupid, Tom, for fuck’s sake, and you slept with Cherry,” James snapped. “I’m not letting that-” 

“Who told you?” Tom asked. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jamessaid. 

“Did you tell her?” 

“Didn’t have to,” James said. “She knew it already. And if you don’t have the balls to talk about it with her, which honestly-” 

“I want to, okay?” Tom barked. “I can’t believe I did it but I want to work it out!” He snapped. “I thought you were fine with us!” 

“No, Tom I’m not—fine with this,” James explained. “And I can’t believe I’ve let you hurt her this much and I swear Tom she might believe you but I don’t-” 

“Look we want to talk it out, I mean it alright—your sister is the love-” 

“Love of your life! Then why have you been such an asshole to her?” James wondered. “Do you even know it Tom? How badly you broke her? After Rome? Do you even realize-” 

“Yes I do! And that’s why I bloody want to do things right this time, okay? I want to give her the entire world, alright? I’m not… I’m not joking, alright? I actually… I want to make it up to her, I’m… so in love with her, and I just want the best for her,” he said, gulping. “I…” He sighed. “Maybe we haven’t talked about it because we both know it’ll break us apart, alright?” Tom looked away. “And I just want her to know about it, everything, how she’s been my everything… Since we were children, okay… James you know me, you’ve known me my whole life and you know I’m not lying to you, I love her,” he sighed. “I don’t want to hurt her and I know I’ve fucked up. I just… I know it, it’s so hard, and I…” He gulped. “I guess… I know I slept with Cherry, I know, I did it, I’m not denying it, and I have no excuse but I… When I did it it was… I thought she had left to move on with Tim again because... “ Tom looked away. “I know it, alright? I’m not… good enough for her and you’ve shown me that, because you didn’t fucking act this way with Tim, and no one has said it with me, I know I’m the bad guy here, Harry doesn’t approve of me, Sam doesn’t approve of me, Emma doesn’t approve of me, you don’t… like me,” Tom gulped. “But I genuinely love her, and I know I’m a fucking mess, but… nobody knows about us, alright?” 

James clenched his jaw. No, it wasn’t alright no matter how many times he said it. 

“And it’s difficult to apologize, you’re right, I probably don’t have the balls for it, I’m a fucking coward, and I know, but I’m just trying to be honest with her, and with you, I genuinely want the world for her, and if I have to go back to the start then I will,” he sighed. “And I don’t know how to talk about it with her, and I don’t know if she feels the same way,” he took a deep breath. “And it’s killing me that I don’t know where she’s standing, and she avoids talking and I know how… She works, you know? She’s always been so reserved.” 

“The problem with both of you is you both think it’s you against each other,” James said. 

Tom looked up at him. 

“It’s always been that way, y/n against Tom, and I feel like you’re doing it again,” James said. “I am just telling you both, to realize it, it’s both of you against the problem not you against each other,” James said. 

Tom nodded. “I know that, and I’ve tried talking to her, but she… Ignores it, or someone comes in, or we have to-” 

“You’re searching for excuses,” James said, he seemed calmer now. 

“I’m not,” Tom said. “And I really mean it James, I don’t want to break her heart, I don’t want to hurt her anymore.” 

“And if she ends up hurting you?” 

“I’ll work it out,” Tom said. 

“Why are you directing this?” James questioned. 

Tom didn’t answer that, instead he took a deep breath. 

“If this is another one of your stupid plans—“

“It’s not, and not even a plan to try to win her back,” Tom explained, “it’s not—not like that. I want to give her the world,, and I know this—This whole thing is the world to her, you—you really underestimate me, Jay, as if I were some kind of stranger to you or to her, but—I’m not,” he repeated. 

“Maybe it’s time you both move on.” 

“I don’t want to move on, and—I tried, I—that’s why it happened, everyone said it: Move on, Tom, she’s just another girl… and fuck.” 

“She’s—“

“She’s not, I’m very aware of that, but even Haz and Harry said it, I fucked up, she fucked up, move on man,” Tom mocked their voices, angrily. “Just another girl, and, and I tried to… move on, thinking yeah, it’s only a stupid thought or whim, yes and I thought—if she’s really just another girl, then why the hell can’t I move on? how—Even other friends said, hey, you’re Tom Holland,” he let out a soft dry cackle. “a million girls are dying to be with you and—“Tom closed his eyes, “maybe it was that, me trying to—Trying to move on, but I don’t—want it, I don’t want another girl, James.” 

James only watched him. 

“And I’m telling you this not because you are her brother but because you’re my friend and I’m—I’m just—You know me, James, you know me perfectly and you’re acting as if you didn’t, yes I’m—I am an idiot, and yes I know I’m probably the worst option for her, and I probably tick every single bad box but—at the same time I’m—“ he gulped. “I just can’t believe how stupid I am, and I—I am” Tom meant it, James could tell. “When I’m with her, I feel like myself, and I don’t often feel that way, and she’s just this… incredible person. And I’m—terrified, I’m terrified of it. But I need her,” he gulped. “Not—in—I don’t know.” 

Maybe James needed to hear that from Tom. Though he still—James couldn’t forgive Tom. Even if it wasn’t his business, he could forgive him for breaking his sister. 

“And I’m very aware that I’ve lost her before because I know it, I’m an idiot, but maybe I’m too stubborn to admit that I lost my chance. Because I—I haven’t, alright? And this might be my last one but—I can’t admit it to myself, but I know about it, Jay, I know that what we could’ve had is gone so maybe just let me cling on to whatever we’re holding on until she decides to let me go, alright?” 

“I don’t understand why you’re both in a relationship where both of you think it’ll end up badly,” James had questioned. 

“You see, I’m trying for it not to end up that way,” he said, 

“But you think it’ll end, then?” 

Tom hadn’t answered him. 

“Why do you love her?” 

“She’s my home,” Tom shrugged as he quickly answered, he didn’t have to think about it. “I—I was always scared of growing up but it doesn’t hurt when I’m with her, when life is—getting too hard she was always there with those pair of old jeans and bright smile and yes, initially she was there to call me an idiot but she just made time stop, completely,” he shrugged. “Because she just—“ he smiled sadly, “she helps me find my heartbeat in the middle of all the bustle.”

James didn’t know Tom could be so poetic. But he meant it, or at least James hoped he meant it. 

James didn’t push it any further. After that, y/n had ignored him. Y/N was excellent at doing so, if she wanted to ignore someone she’d make sure they noticed. And she was angry at her brother. Besides when it comes to siblings, it feels even more personal and very immaturely done. y/n had ignored James and made sure to make him feel ignored. She would avoid his gaze, and she’d pretend she didn’t listen to him. 

She hadn’t even offered him a ride back to aunt Eliza’s. 

Tom had been the one to offer it. 

James had apologized to Tom, and he had only shrugged it off. 

“She’s your sister. I get it, she deserves the world, you’re only trying to give it to her.” 

Harry said he needed a beer, maybe they all needed one. 

Maybe James had to give it to Tom, y/n was one to ignore people and her problems per se. Tom had also ignored James, not like y/n, Tom was probably angry at James. James didn’t care for that. 

“I love the chemistry between Gregg and Auli’i,” Harry had said when they were at the bar, all of them beers in their hands. “They’re—really—“

“It’s too familiar,” Sam had laughed. “Very familiar.” 

“Not—there’s something missing,” Tom said. 

“Is it weird?” James asked. 

“What?” 

“Come on, the script?” James said. 

Tom shrugged. “It gives me a better understanding of her,” Tom admitted. “It’s—She really did write her heart out in there.” 

Harry watched between them. 

“What happened today?” Sam wondered. “I saw y/n storm off with Emma.” 

“I was a jerk,” James said, “to her and to Tom.” 

Sam and Harry side-eyed each other. 

“What’s going on with Emma?” Sam asked, quickly trying to avoid the subject. 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, it seemed like an old bad joke hearing about it. 

“She’s… She says she’s not ready,” Harry said. “She just says she’s not ready, and she…” Harry took a deep breath.

“You two are the most stupid men in the world,” he said, staring at Tom and Harry. “You both come here, without giving them any warning, and you expect them to run after you? And don’t--Emma’s reaction is logical,” James continued. “But you have to understand that Emma came here to heal, Y/N came here for her dream, and you two came in barging just to shove it, the two men they came running away from just shoved in their way to say ‘Hey, y/n, I’m in charge of your dream now’” 

Sam took a log sip from his beer, with a big smirk. “Thank you, James, that’s what I’ve been telling them.” 

“But… Okay, yes, but you don’t know all the facts,” Harry sighed. “Look, if we hadn’t taken the project probably nobody else would!” 

James blinked. “What?” 

Tom looked away. 

Harry bit his lip, nervously, shaking his head. “I… We called the studio looking for her project and apparently there had been a lot of directors and producers rejecting the project,” Harry said. 

“So yes, we decided to barge in, and we said we’d be the stand in directors until someone showed up,” Tom explained. “We worked with the casting and everything and we’ve been behind the stage but we--And, I know that y/n never wanted us to be involved but the thing is it’s… It’s a hard project, and she’s unknown, and… It’s an amazing story, you know? But it’s… Films these days are all about superheroes, I should know, or too serious, and--It’s got potential, it’s got a lot of potential, and--” Tom sighed. “Maybe it was a mistake but at least this way we can be assured it’s get done her way. So at the end… we did accept the project because I’m just... “ 

Harry watched his brother and then turned to James. “Yeah.” 

James had really underestimated Tom, probably everyone did. Maybe that’s what Tom was so stressed about. 

“I do--” Tom clenched his jaw. “I might want to change just a few bits but I…”He looked away. “We’ve been talking about it with her, to make William more human, less of an asshole.” 

Harry nodded. 

“I think,” Sam shrugged. “Well, I don’t know much about films or whatever, but I think he’s human enough, and at least you understand it, I think y/n actually did a great job on him,” Sam continued. “I…think he even made him even way too nice,” he chuckled. “Like, there is a point where you understand why she loves him, I think, the story is built so you think you need to hate him but I guess the audience is supposed to fall in love with him as Y/N-- I mean, Valerie falls, hell, she even made me want to fall in love,” Sam laughed. “But I mean it’s purely fiction, in real life I don’t get how the hell she’s in love with you.”  

“Shut up,” Tom rolled his eyes, he had chuckled slightly, but James saw that Tom was slightly hurt by those words. 

James had read the script only once, he hadn’t really read it because he felt like he was reading y/n’s diary, which he had done once when they were younger, and she had been so angry at him. The script had felt like getting into y/n’s deepest feelings. He remembered a particular line which had stuck out from the rest. 

“I love him and I’ve run out of reasons to say why, I just know that  even when there’s no music playing we will find a way to dance.” 

Maybe Tom needed everyone to know the backstory, see past his actions. And probably y/n didn’t know this, James knew she’d get angry because she wanted to get it out herself, not be helped by him, make a name for herself, however in the industry it was difficult enough. But maybe it made sense, the reason why y/n loved Tom so much, because she didn’t need reasons to, she just did, and he kept giving her reasons to. 

“But….Emma, then?” James asked, trying to get back on the subject. 

 “Well… she slept with Josh,” Harry continued. 

“What?” Tom interrupted, angrily. “She did what?” 

“That night after the movie,” Harry bit his lip. “I-” 

“And you’re okay with that?” Tom questioned. 

“They’re not together, Tom,” Sam quickly said. “Besides, it’s most likely because-” 

“Because she was nervous about Harry coming here,” James ended the sentence.

Harry shrugged. “She was honest about it, and I mean--I don’t, I know she doesn’t love him, and yes, I was jealous but…” 

James watched Tom who nodded, knowingly. 

“I mean she chose a random guy to have sex with because she was stressed,” Harry nodded. “And she did tell me it meant nothing and I mean, it’s… It’s her body, she can do whatever she wants, and we… are not together.” 

“Where does one draw the line, though?” Sam questioned. “With rebounds, I mean.” 

James scoffed and shrugged. “It depends, on how soon, how the relationship ended.” 

“The whole, are we in a break or not,” Harry shrugged. 

“Yeah,” James laughed. “Classic Ross and Rachel, we are on a break type of situation, like, of course, they were on a break but it was too soon, because-- there are breakups that last for a day, y’know? The argument says it all, and right away… Gives the wrong impression, as if, I didn’t love you anymore so I hooked up with the first person I saw, either in spite or-” 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, also who it is with.” 

“Oh, yes,” Sam nodded. “Right, like.. If it’s with another ex?” Sam clicked his tongue. 

Harry scrunched his nose. “I think that’s normal, you know?”

“Is it?” Tom frowned. “Why would it be normal?” 

James saw it as an opportunity to defend his sister, not sure whether Tom knew it or not. “Because it’s something familiar,” James said. “Like, you don’t have to search for something you might not like so just go to someone who once you know… Knew you.” 

Tom coughed. “But like, that should mean they have feelings for them.” 

“Nah,” Sam tossed a few fries into his mouth. “Well, depends on the ex, but like, if you’re only hooking up with them, I mean,” Sam rolled his eyes. 

“It could awake feelings,” James nodded. “But if you’re searching for an ex it means you’re not up for someone new, it means you’re stuck somewhere there and sleeping with an ex means not wanting to move on.” 

“And alright, if you-- You’re still dating Clark, right?” Tom asked. “If you broke up and he slept with his ex would you forgive him?” 

James scrunched his nose. “I mean,” he shrugged. “As long as he doesn’t sleep with any relative.” 

Tom opened his mouth to say something but then exhaled defeatedly. 

“Like, for example, Sam,” James said. “That’s crossing the line on rebounds.” 

Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s… fucking up, by the way Cherry’s coming and well--” 

“What exactly happened between you both?” James questioned. 

Tom bit his lip, he took a deep breath as he tried to map his thoughts out, knowing that what he was about to say would change a lot of things. 

“We were friends,” Tom said. 

Sam and Harry only watched his older brother, probably nervous to the outcome of the conversation. 

“I--Well,” he sighed. “She said she wanted someone to show her around London and…” Tom shook his head. “I… Well, she did flirt since the beginning and I… I didn’t answer at first, but then…I was so angry, I… I thought about it and thought hey, I lost my chance and y/n ran back to Tim and she is probably moving on.”

“Why did you think she was moving on?” James questioned. “She literally told you she loved you and only you.” 

Tom took a deep breath. “I’m an idiot, and… I dunno,” he sighed. “I thought she would end up going back with Tim. 

Harry widened his eyes with surprise, awkwardly asking for a second beer. 

“I don’t know, I was heartbroken, I was stupid and… I missed her too much and I...And I felt lonely and and everyone here sees me as the bad guy, and I continue to be the bad guy, but she was someone new and someone who didn’t know me and she was... And then I saw Tim posted a picture and it was… Undeniable taken by her, you know?” Tom looked down. “And I… Well, that’s how they started last time, her taking pictures of him and I thought she would again and so in spite, or full of rage and so I tried to move on and the option was right there in front of me and Tim kept posting you know, and even if he didn’t say it I just knew it was y/n, and one day after way too many beers I finally gave in to Cherr’s flirting and it--”He squeezes his eyes shut. “And I told her that whatever happened, it didn’t have to mean anything I told her, no strings attached, no feelings and… it happened,” he sighed. “And I….But it didn’t feel… I don’t even remember how it happened and I just didn’t feel good with it, it made me feel even worse and lonelier and then she kept wanting to hang out and I just shut her out because it was a mistake and then, I thought I was a rebound to her as well, she had just broken up with her girlfriend and I thought I was just a rebound but she then… Showed more and I just… Gave her no explanation, not… I don’t know, I told her I wasnt in a good place and that I was still in love with someone else and that wouldn’t change and yes, I’m the asshole again and…” 

All of them stayed quiet. What were they supposed to say? 

It was ironic, how both Tom and y/n had assumed they’d move on, and the reasons why they did it, both of them sleep with an ex and a relative, because both of them assumed the other one would move on. Why? Maybe that’s why they were so stubborn right now because both of them realized neither did and they probably never would. As if they were just happy to find out they still loved each other but were too afraid to admit it out loud. 

They remained quiet. 

“Eh,” Sam had cut the silence, too awkward for him to handle. “Not that I don’t want to talk about a conversation that will probably end up giving Tom a mental breakdown, and don’t get me wrong I love having awkward silences,  but I need… I need to know, Jay,” Sam smiled. “May I know what’s that on your finger?” 

Harry and Tom finally landed their sight on James’ finger, a silver band wrapped right around his left ring finger.

“Hm?” James quickly hid his hand. 

“Is that an engagement ring?” Harry questioned with a smirk. 

“Uh-” 

“Wait, uh--” Tom shook his head to shake away the sad feeling. “Are you engaged?” 

“To Clark?” Harry asked. 

Though he didn’t want to talk about it, he knew that the other conversation wasn’t for him to know. The other conversation was something Tom had to work out with y/n, which, yes, the reason had been very stupid, y/n had to work out with Tom how Tom felt about Tim. 

Probably James and everyone else did, maybe they really had made Tom feel unworthy of y/n’s love and that’s why he kept sabotaging himself. 

James did end up telling them, and he even finished the conversation thanking Tom for introducing him to Clark. Of course he didn’t have to tell them all the details, they were three straight men too stupid to care, and James was grateful he didn’t have to share as much, because it was his story, not anyone elses to know, it was his relationship and it was his Clark. 

James had, however, explained to them that Clark would come, too, James was slightly nervous about it, given that he knew that y/n was definitely not going to be welcoming and that she’d keep ignoring him. That’s how y/n worked with James, no matter if he tried to apologize, she wouldn’t talk to him. 

James knew he had made a mistake with this, but he needed to hear it from Tom, and though it wasn’t technically any of his business, he knew that Tom was more understanding, in his own way, than y/n. 

Tom could talk to James, that’s the difference, and Tom hadn’t talked to James for a while and so James didn’t know, and of course it drove him crazy not to know why or how this was happening. 

Tom, Sam and Harry all offered James a room in the house they were renting to stay there with Clark, he had accepted it because he knew Cherry was coming. 

James didn’t want to face Cherry. Because James had this one habit that he couldn’t ever get rid off, he was too nosy when he wasn’t asked, and he had talked to Cherry about Tom, and warned her that Tom was just too important to y/n. 

Y/N, as expected, kept ignoring James. But he had seen that Tom and y/n had gone out one night, alone, together. He had heard them walk into the house, and as much as he had tried to avoid eavesdropping, he had walked out, innocently to the kitchen and he’d seen them, on the couch, talking. 

“I think we need to add a scene,” Tom had said. “It’s… important.” 

“But… I don’t get it,” y/n said. “You want me tro write another one, I thought you’d said it was too long.” 

“But this one is important y/n, it gives… backstory to William.” 

“So you want me to make something up? Just to….”

“Yes, I told you, William searches for her after the whole London thing.” 

“But that didn’t happen,” y/n said. “And that’s why Valerie-” 

It seemed, Tom had told James, that Tom had found a loophole to talk without talking. Tom had explained to James that y/n would be avoiding the conversation, that didn’t surprise James. But Tom found a way to use the script to go over it, Tom had told James that they hadn’t really talked much but he had figured how to make them understand each other. 

“It did happen, so let’s add this scene, right before Jessie’s girl scene, I need it,” Tom said. “And I talked about it with Harry and he says he wants it, too.” 

“So he searches up for her? And then what? She shuts him out-” 

“She’s not the one answering the door,” Tom explained. “But William does go to mend things and then T… Teddy opens the door.” 

y/n had stayed quiet, as James was still wandering in the kitchen. 

“James will you please leave?” She asked her brother. “I won’t continue this conversation until you leave, I know what you’re doing.” 

He had left, but at least they had opened a conversation. He had seen them the very next day, asleep on the couch, so peacefully y/n laying on top of him. She had woken earlier than him and seen James in the kitchen. 

“Good morning,” James had said. 

“Morning,” y/n had answered sheepishly, as she stretched out. 

“Oh, are you talking to me now?” James had asked. “I made tea.” 

“No,” y/n had said before getting a glass of water. 

“I’m sorry,” James said. 

“No, you’re not,” Y/N answered. “You got it your way, didn’t you?” 

“I just want the best for you,” James said. “Have you talked already?” 

“About some things,” y/n said. “But it’s none of your business, as you said it before, it’s like Clark for you, Tom is mine, and my relationship is mine.” 

“So there is a relationship?” James asked. 

“There’s a hope for one,” y/n said. “And yes, I fell asleep on him, and yes, I keep kissing him but I simply want to, alright?” 

As soon as Tom had woken up and walked up to them, probably sore from the couch too as he was stretching out his arms, y/n ran over to him and gave him a passionate kiss, probably a very dumb way to prove to her brother that she was being rebellious. 

And if that hadn’t been a message clear enough, she’d flipped James off before walking away. 

“I’m--” Tom probably wanted to apologize to James but was still left too dumbfounded with the kiss. 

“Don’t,” James had rolled his eyes. 

That kind of behaviour continued, y/n trying to prove something to James. 

Cherry had arrived three days before y/n’s birthday, and Clark had arrived the next day after she did. 

They hadn’t had any contact with Cherry, not James at least. James was too busy exploring LA with his fiancé. It felt weird saying it. 

“Fiancé.” 

Y/N didn’t know Clark was in town, but as soon as she learned it, she had seemed to forget she was angry at James. She’d met Clark before, of course she knew of his existence  and that her brother was seeing him, they’d met but y/n had learned from James’ pasts relationships to not get too attached because ‘James changed couple more often than he probably showered’, which was too different from y/n, and y/n, though she had noticed about Clark, and though she did mention it from time, to time, James had tried to avoid it, because he’d finally fallen in love and he didn’t know how to act around it. 

Clark, however, had shown up to Harry’s engagement party, and that hadn’t gone well. Of course James was skeptical of showing his family, and the Hollands because he… Well, he didn’t want Clark to think they acted that way. Of course, that’s why he was reserved. 

Tom had been the one person who had had contact with Clark. 

Clark had said it to James once, “Tom is deeply in love with your sister.” 

“They hate each other,” James had answered. 

“No, if he did hate her he wouldn’t pay that much attention.” 

Clark was right, obviously. Clark, actually was someone who liked to observe and he was the one to calm James.

As soon as Clark was in town, he had listened to James’ stress and said: “She’s been in love with him her whole life and the dude, too. And you’ve said it, y/n tends to save it all for herself.” 

He was right. But James still thought that y/n and Tom had to talk about it, otherwise the chaos would come, but maybe it could wait. 

But y/n’s birthday arrived. 

Although the chaos was supposed to be coming, James wouldn’t have guessed it would come this way. And he wouldn’t have guessed it would come that way. 

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

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[darling-i-read-it]

The Great Red Dragon

3x08

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.9k 

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, dead bodies, blood, surgery, canniblism  

Author’s Note: I LOVE will graham and you can tell in this chapter i kinda went ham with my absolute adoration for him. Usually i try and hold back but im to sad to tonight so here is this love letter to will graham 

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary: As events jump forward three years, Jack seeks help as he pursues Francis Dolarhyde, AKA `The Tooth Fairy Killer'.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​ @sweetgoodangel​

(not my gif) (can you tell i love will graham. i feel like its excessive now but he is so handsome in this episode and every epsiode but this episode too) 

Alana Bloom sat on an uncomfortable chair. The divider between her and Hannibal Lecter was a thick, clear plastic. To Hannibal they were sitting together at his desk. To her, to the reality of her, he sat in his jail cell. The two of them seemed comfortable with each other once again, now that there was no way Hannibal could lay his fingers on her again. 

It was the only reason Alana agreed to stay. 

“Congratulations, Hannibal. You’re officially insane.” 

In front of Hannibal were different and various papers. A newspaper sat there, detailing a family slaughtered in Buffalo. 

“There’s no consensus in the psychiatric community what I should be termed,” he said.

“You’ve long been regarded by your peers in psychiatry as something entirely Other. For convenience, they term you a monster.” Hannibal’s eyes flickered up, away from his papers and on to her. She had cleaned herself up since they were last close. The suit she wore made her look distinguished. Her hair up in curls. Sophisticated. 

“What do you term me?” he questioned.

“I don’t. You defy categorization.” 

“Do you still prefer beer to wine?” he questioned. She pursed her lips, remembering bad memories.

“Stopped drinking beer when I found out what you were putting in mine.”

“Who,” he corrected. She gave the slightest of nods.

“Who.” She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “This means you’ll be spared the federal death sentence. They had enough to convict you dozen times over.” 

“A baker’s dozen. Lest we forget Mason Verger. You’re welcome.” 

“You’re welcome Hannibal. The needle was guaranteed. But you beat it all on an insanity plea.”

“I’m not insane.” Alana nodded. She understood that.

“You know that and I know that. A dozen or a baker’s dozen, enough people have died.” 

“You haven’t,” he pointed out simply. 

“A promise in waiting, isn’t it? A promise you intend to keep.” 

“I always keep my promises.” His lips flew into a small smile. Alana simply adjusted her spot in the seat.

-

“Get out of my chair, Frederick.” 

Chilton stood up from Alana’s chair. Since she had become the director of the asylum things had been changed. For the better. Chilton was crooked, despite his frequent placing in her chair. She walked over and sat down at her desk and reorganized the documents that Chilton had been messing with. 

“Shall we join hands in prayer of gratitude? ‘Thank you, Father, for allowing us to remove this monster, monster of monsters, from your flock. Thank you on behalf of the souls We will spare of pain.’” Chilton stood at the other side of her desk now. 

“Thank you on behalf of the monster.” She leaned back in her chair. “Was that the magisterial We?” 

“It’s our cabal, yours and mine. Hannibal Lecter will spend the rest of his life in a state institution, watching the diaper cart go by.”

“We lied. You wrote a book of lies,” she pointed out.

“Not difficult to see lies flying above my head, but it is almost impossible to shoot them down,” he pointed out. 

“You should be lucky that Y/N is a respectable woman. She should have sued you for what you insinuated between her and Hannibal,” she pointed out.

“You say that only because you couldn’t sue me for speaking the truth about you and Hannibal.” He dragged a finger along the desk. “I wasn’t invited to the wedding though.”

“You held the groom at this asylum when you ran it,” she pointed out.

“Still. I put the actual murderer in jail.” 

“I’m pretty sure they did that.” She picked up her pen. “Either way, Hannibal will shoot down your lies. He’s written a brilliant piece for The American Journal of Psychiatry.” 

“Everything he writes is always about problems he doesn’t have,” Chilton said. 

“What he’s written is going to be your problem. It’s not so much an article as it is a rebuttal.” She smiled to herself. “He has an acid pen.” 

-

Will stood out by the shed. The dogs were balancing around him, running around and barking happily. Will was bundled against the cold although you had been the person who threw all of the layers at him. The dogs kicked up the snow. He was repairing the fence out there, something to keep busy. 

He looked up the gravel driveway and a black SVU came down the track. 

He let out a sigh, caught by the cold. 

Jack Crawford came out of the car.

-

“Don’t want to talk inside?” Jack asked as Will handed him a mug of hot cider. Several stray dogs lay and mill at their feet as Will leaned against the porch railing. “Don’t want to let me inside. Come too far to let the cold stop me, Will.” 

Will pursed his lips.

“Bold of you to show up.”

“Where’s Y/N?” he questioned.

“Making dinner. She didn’t hear you coming up and was, lucky for you, unaware I was making two cups of cider.” Will was relaxed but his tone was uneven. 

“You don't want to talk about it here,” Jack said.

“I don't want to talk about it anywhere. You’ve got to talk about it, so let’s have it. Just don’t get out any pictures. There’s no point in doing that.” 

“How much do you know?” Jack questioned.

“Two families killed, in their homes, a month apart. Similar circumstances,” Will said. You and him and passed the newspaper to each other at breakfast. Looked into it. 

“Not ‘similar’. The same. You ever think about giving me a call?” 

“If I ever thought about it Y/N would divorce me on the spot. But I didn’t think about it,” he admitted.

“You know what it is,” Jack said. 

“I didn’t think about calling you because I didn’t want to. I don’t think I’d be all that useful to you, Jack. I never think about it anymore. I don’t believe I could do it now.” Will looked down at the lakeshore and Jack pulled out two pictures from his jacket pocket. He flipped them out on the table. Will looked down at them. 

“All dead. This freak seems to be in phase with the moon.” Jack tapped the photos. “Killed the Jacobis in Chicago almost four weeks ago. Full moon. Killed the Leeds family in Buffalo night before last. One day short of a lunar month. If we’re lucky we have a little over three weeks before he does it again.” 

“Will!” Your voice carried in from the home. Both men looked over. 

“Looks like your luck has run out Jack.” You opened the door to alert Will that dinner was done. Upon seeing Jack you stopped. For a moment you were wordless. You looked down at the two pictures on the table, at Will, and then back at Jack. You recognized those people from the newspapers. You took in a deep breath and held your composure.

“If you want to by any chance keep your head I would recommend picking up those pictures, putting them back in your pocket, getting off my goddamn porch and driving your car back to where you came from,” you said evenly. “And give me that cup of cider.” Jack handed it to you and you snatched it, allowing it to spill on your hand without a reaction. “We need Will’s help. More of these families are going to die,” Jack said.

“I’m not going to let this happen again. I let it happen once.” 

“You would sacrifice families lives for the miniscule chance one person gets a little hurt?” You stepped forward to him but Will lifted his hand. You stopped but you were still pretty close. 

“If that one person is Will then yes. He’s saved enough lives.”

“He isn’t going anywhere,” Will said. You looked up at him and stepped back. 

“Dinner is done,” you said and turned back into the house. Jack and Will shared a look.

“So,” Will started, pushing himself off of the balcony railing. “Joining us for dinner?” 

-

You sat beside Will who was at the head of the table. Jack observed the house. It looked simplistic, comforting. On the small shelf by the table were picture frames. Each one of both of you. One when you were fishing, a small fish in front of your face as you laughed. One of Will by the fireplace in the Baltimore house. A couple from the wedding of the two of you looking happier than Jack had ever seen. 

Jack had been at the wedding. Will invited him discreetly and because you were so distracted by your own happiness you couldn’t fight. You looked amazing. It had been a long time coming that day and when it did come everyone celebrated. There were even pictures of you, Margot and Alana on that day, cheering to a new beginning. 

“People dump small dogs here all the time. I can give away the cute ones, rest, stay around and get to be big ones,” you muttered, petting the dog at your feet. 

“You’ve always been a sucker for strays,” Will said.

“You’re not fooling anyone Will.” You stabbed at the plate and took a bite. Will placed a hand on your thigh and kept it there. You put your hand on top of his destreetly. 

“Got a nice life here,” Jack said. 

“I’m lucky here. I know that,” Will said. 

“Surprised there aren’t any kids yet. Bella and I wanted them but with my job we could never fit it in.” The mention of Bella would make you sympathize with him and he knew that. Despite having calmed down a bit you still held up a good face. 

“We have a lot of dogs although I can’t say we haven't been trying,” Will said. His face flushed a bit but you were so mad still you couldn’t even be flustered. Will knew there were some things you needed to say to Jack that you couldn't’ say in front of him. “I’m going to take the dogs out to pee.” He tapped your thigh once more before letting his hand leave as he stood up from the dinner table. You nodded numbly as he left, watching him go.

Your gaze went back to Jack. 

“When you came into his classroom that day I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt but you failed me Jack. Countless times, you failed me.” 

“You left me there to die In Florence.” You smiled. 

“A fond memory.” You placed your fork down carefully. “You’re going to take him no matter how much I want to kill you for it.” 

“I have to. I’ll make it as easy on him as I can. He’s changed. It’s great you got married.” You nodded.

“He’s better and better. He doesn’t have nightmares anymore.” You paused and collected yourself. “He was really obsessed with the dogs for a while. Now he just takes care of them. He doesn’t talk about them all the time. Doesn’t worry about them.” 

“I know what it is I’m asking Y/N. And I wished to God I didn’t have to.”

You smiled slightly at what you were about to say.

“If he decides to go, and that’s a big if, he will not be going alone.” Jack nodded slowly. He figured this would happen. There was nowhere he went you would not follow.

“I know.”

“And you’re willing to deal with me for as long as it takes to get rid of this killer?” 

“If I have to.”

-

You sat on your bed. The world was quiet out here. You loved it. Will loved it. It was why you got it together, your first joint home purchase. Will was taking off his shoes and you put your arms around him from behind. 

He cuddled his head against yours. He could feel your breath against his skin when you spoke.

“I don’t want you to go, you know that.” 

“I don’t imagine you’ll let me go alone,” he whispered. “But you know if I go, I’ll be different when I get back.” You nodded.

“I loved you at your worst and I’ll love you for the rest of the time you’ll let me,” you promised. You kissed him tenderly and his hands rested on your cheek, moving your body with his other hand so that he didn’t have to crane his neck. 

-

Darkness moved around the bedroom peacefully. You slept beside Will but he was awake. He looked over at you and then slid out of bed. He pulled open a drawer quietly and took out a letter. The envelope is addressed to Will and Y/N, through the FBI. He hadn’t shown you this yet. He wasn’t sure if he should. 

But you had felt him get up. Years of feeling when he was having a nightmare trained you for that kind of moment. You sat up and slid out of bed. Will looked over to you.

“What’s that?” 

“I wasn’t going to show it to you.”

You walked over to him and put your arms around him from behind. You looked at the letter and the second you saw the handwriting you froze. 

“Is it directed to you?”

“Both of us.”

You took it from his hands and stood up straight. 

‘Dear Will and Y/N, we have all found a new life, but our old lives hover in the shadows, like incipient madness. Soon enough, I fear Jack Crawford will come knocking. I encourage Will, as a friend, not to step back through the door he holds open. I don’t doubt Y/N will protest against this ever happening but in case her will is not strong enough I must promise that there is darkness on the other side of the door and madness is waiting.’ 

You handed him the paper. 

“I’m calling the girls from down the street. Their teenagers will watch the dogs.” 

-

Will and you looked through the Leeds house. The two of you looked at the bloody remnants of what had happened there. You weren’t there to observe though. You were there for moral support. 

His eyes were shut for a while. You watched him stand there. You were silent.

Until he opened his eyes and a deep breath left his lips. You quickly approached him and hugged him tightly. He hugged you back, catching his breath in your arms.

-

“Jimmy you’re the light of my life,” Jack said.

“I know. The print’s smudged. Came off Mrs. Leeds eye. Never did that before. Never would’ve seen it, but it stood out against an eight-ball hemorrhage,” Jimmy explained. You, Will, Jack, Jimmy and Brian all stood in the morgue together. He kept stealing glances at you and Will whose thoughts were elsewhere. “I just...I can’t believe you’re back. I’m surprised you're back.”

“I’m surprised Y/N didn’t drag Jack's dead body in here,” Brian said. He hit Will’s back. “Welcome back.” 

-

Jack looked up from his desk to see Will and you standing before him. You were both looking at the information sheet. 

“You were asking about the dog. Last night, a vet called the police. Leeds and his oldest boy brought it into the bet the afternoon before they were killed,” Jack explained. 

“What’s going to happen to it?” Will asked.

“Please don't worry about the dog.” Will smiled a bit.

“What do you expect me to do?” he whispered. You smiled at him. Ever the sweetie. 

“Best you can, that’s all. Busyworks been a narcotic for me sometimes, especially after I quit the booze. For you too, I think,” Jack said. 

“There’s something else we can do,” you started. You paused for a moment. You and Will had talked this over just briefly but you understood it was what you needed. “We can wait until Will is driven to it by desperation in the last days before the full moon. Or we could do it now, while it might be of some use,” you finished. 

“Is there an opinion you want?” Will nodded slowly.

“We have to see Hannibal.”

3x09

[everything-media-with-blank]

SHOWstoppers: What Television Got Right - Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated (2010)

[BLANK] - For months, I've been itching to talk about this series to anyone who would listen (spoiler alert: not many people want to listen to some random teen ramble about a talking dog), and today is finally the day.

Warning: Spoilers for Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (2010)

- Introduction -

Scooby-Doo is a wildly popular television franchise and a large part of many childhoods. One of the best, if not the best, spinoffs of Scooby-Doo is the two-season series, Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated. Scooby-Doo Mystery Inc. first aired in early April of 2010, the first season spanning a total of twenty-six episodes. Season two came to an end exactly three years after the series began, adding on another twenty-six episodes.

- Season One Summary -

As Shaggy Rogers, Fred Jones, Velma Dinkley, Daphne Blake, and their talking dog, Scooby-Doo, form a team to solve the seemingly abundant mysteries that surface in their home town, Crystal Cove (as the town's welcome sign says, 'The Most Hauntedest Place on Earth'). The gang delves deeper not only into the mysteries and strange disappearances but the unusual history of the town itself. They receive hints from a self-proclaimed 'Mr. E' (only today did I notice that it's a play on 'mystery'), about the legend of the cursed Conquistador Treasure, the tragedy of the Darrow Family, and the disappearance of the original Mystery Incorporated.

Through all this, Velma and Shaggy try to figure out their feelings for each other while Daphine struggles with feeling that her's are (seemingly) unrequited.

- Season Two Summary -

The gang comes back together to solve the Crystal Cover mystery once and for all. They fight against the original Mystery Incorporated (including Fred's biological parents, Judy Reeves and Brad Chiles, as well as Mr. E) to locate the last pieces of the planispheric disk in hopes it will lead them to the cursed Conquistador Treasure. As the mystery continues to unravel, they discover that there were many more Mystery Incorporated groups before them (each consisting of four humans and one animal), dating back to the time of the Conquistadors that originally founded Crystal Cove.

The gang completes the disk just as the time of Nibiru is upon them (they also discover that Scooby-Doo is a descendant of an alien race, which explains his supernatural ability to speak), and have a final showdown with the original Mystery Inc. and Nibiru itself. They reverse the curse set upon Crystal Cove and return the town to how it once was. The series ends with the gang packing up for a road trip around the country, in which they vow to solve every mystery they come across along the way.

- What Mystery Inc. Did Differently -

Mystery Inc. begins in the early days of the gang, starting in their hometown of Crystal Cove. They solve many of the town's mysteries (of which there seems to be an unlimited amount) over the course of the show. Though the meat of the series format falls in line with the rest of the franchise-- a seemingly-impossible villain appears to challenge the gang, leading them to hunt down clues about their foe and eventually trap them as their true motive is revealed-- Mystery Inc. is most highly remembered for its deviations from that formula.

Woven carefully throughout the show is a thrilling plotline that compels the audience through each episode and closer to the final mystery. This plot also addresses darker and more abstract themes as well as playing into the horror genre, paying homage to works such as Saw and A Nightmare on Elm Street, both satirically and seriously.

Another striking difference is the romantic subplot, in which Fred and Daphnie as well as Velma and Shaggy try to navigate through their own feelings for each other. Even Scooby-Doo has a romantic partner, Nova, who is discovered later in the series.

- Modern Twists on the Original Scooby-Doo Style -

What first caught my eye about Mystery Inc. was the animation style. The character designs and style are very similar to that of the original franchise but with a more modern twist. Mystery Incorporated is not only beautifully animated (some transitions and movements of the characters absolutely took my breath away), but it also features an astounding color scheme. It perfectly sets the mood, whether it's dark greens and muted colors for Gatersburg or the recurring pink and red undertones in episode sixteen, 'Where Walks Aphrodite'. These factors serve to further elevate the story elements and plot, as well as add to the mysterious tone of the entire series.

- A Riveting Plot to Rival The Original -

The animation isn't the only outstanding feature of this series. The script is beautifully written, perfectly incorporating both satire and serious tones. The humor can connect not only with children but with adults as well. Recurring catchphrases serve to add to the hilarity, with different takes on the classic 'meddling kids' line coming from every thwarted villain. Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated's plot is the cherry on top, allowing the show to not only be enjoyable for a younger audience but also compelling enough to catch the interest of older teens and even young adults.

The mysteries are complicated and well-written while also allowing children to follow along. Each line and motive of a character has meaning and pushes the plot forward in new and exciting ways. Even seemingly unimportant details become a piece of the final puzzle.

One particularly memorable episode was season one, episode four, 'Revenge of the Man Crab', in which the gang tries to track down a supposed 'Man Crab' who kidnaps civilians from a volleyball tournament. While watching it, I was stumped, unable to figure out just who the Man Crab really was. Upon the perpetrator being revealed, I realized that if I had just looked at the clues, I would have been able to figure it out. Every clue was there, hidden right in plain sight, you just had to do the work to piece it all together.

- Conclusion -

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Inc. was not only enjoyable to watch but to analyze as well. I truly could not find one part of this series that I disliked. Every bit of it was created with care and respect for the original work, as well as paying homage to other famous works and genres. I love how the show can cover serious topics while still remaining light-hearted and kid-friendly. The way the characters are brought to life and completely fleshed out, as well as given multiple character arcs, in such a short amount of time is truly impressive. Overall, I would absolutely recommend it to any mystery-lover, fan of animation, or just someone who's bored while scrolling through Netflix.

Official Rating: 97/100 - 97%

[happymetalgirl]

Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper”.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

[finleyjayne]

Living a Lie: Chapter 1

Thank you for everyone who helped with this fic. Including the amazing @kittykatlow, the wonderful beta for this fic.

Summary: Penelope Grace Darling: the name you live by, the only name the world remembers. That doesn’t keep the memories of Y/N out of your head. All you ever wanted to do was create a better world. You thought you were doing that until some unexpected visitors to your hometown turn your world upside down. Can you leave your past behind you in order to keep your loved ones safe? Or will your fragmented memories keep you from the truth?

Pairings: Past Winter Soldier/Reader, Plus sized!Reader. Slow burn Bucky Barnes/ Reader.

Warnings: Dub/Noncon, Rape, Kidnapping, human trafficing (referenced), Underage Rape, Swearing, PTSD, Anxiety attacks, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Non consenting drug use, underage Drug use, Violence, Domestic Violence, I’m trying to remember what else comes later in the series.

This is a Dark Fic if you don’t like it Don’t Read It!

   Ten sets of feet all in nicely polished leather-soled shoes, all connected to well-tailored suit pants.

  Nine men sitting in chairs, all supposedly listening to the man standing on the other end of the table from where you sit curled up underneath.

   Eight bottles of alcohol sitting on the dark mahogany sideboard. Beautifully cut glass reflects the firelight and dim room lighting as if they are made of stars. Clear globes sat on top of their stoppers, looking like witchballs, reflecting the horror story that had become your life.

   Seven Matryoshka dolls, each colored with similar traditional faces, bellies painted with cityscapes and cathedrals sit on the mantle above the fire. Their faces mock the tense atmosphere with cheery smiles and laughing eyes.

   Six books are housed on the other end of the mantle—each written in the Russian script, Cyrillic. From what you can read on their spines, they are books of traditional fairytales, as if this wasn't the central office of the Bratva, the Russian Mafia.

   Five… five… looking around trying to find something that was five, you curl up a little tighter underneath the far end of the antique mahogany table. The panic rises in your body as your brain starts wandering from the little game of eye-spy to what had happened the night before. It was not the first time you had exchanged masters. You were a high commodity to these people. Young, talented, naive, strong enough to withstand what they wanted, and apparently unwanted. No! Stop! Back to the game, stay in the moment.

   Four. Four panels on the door.

  Just as you thought that, your eyes focusing on those panels, the men all stand up and make their way out of the ominously formal meeting. Leaving you in the room without a glance; you are seemingly unnoticed. You freeze in place to keep it that way. You glue your eyes to the wall with the mantel and fireplace.

  What am I going to do?

   The man that everyone keeps referring to as Krestniy Otets is pacing behind you in front of his throne. What if he’s like the others? Of course, he's like the others. The thought draws a small whimper from your throat. I have two options: let it happen and hope that he isn’t too sadistic; or fight and hope that he finds it fun. Either way, there isn’t anyone to save you. You know you have to find a way to protect yourself. You close your eyes, trying to come up with a plan as you listen to the man's solid footsteps. Who am I kidding? There is only one option. Make him WANT to take care of me. Play the perfect little pet. Innocent, think babydoll, lolita, submissive. Puppy dog eyes, tears, fear, hope. Keep hope they say that makes you seem like a little doll. What did Gammy use to say? Erwarten Sie das Schlim und seien Sie froh, dass es besser passiert. Expect the slumber and be glad it happens better? No… ummmm schlimmste not schlim, that’s it. Expect the worst, and be glad when better happens. That’s it-

    The steps stop suddenly, halting your thoughts in their tracks. your body tenses impossibly tight to keep yourself from flinching. No need to draw any more attention, he’ll remember me when he is finished with his business. A deep chuckle resounds from behind you, sending a shiver up your spine. Or you know right now.  

  “Посмотрите на это, такой милый маленький котенок я купил себе [Russian: Look at this, such a cute little kitten I bought myself.]” The man's voice is deep and robust as he speaks. His tone was pleased but held a note of sadistic teasing. “Little котенок, what are you still doing under there? I thought you would’ve moved to get more comfortable.”

   You tuck your head shyly into your shoulder as you look back at the grim-looking man with the biggest, sweetest doe eyes you can, “you said to sit and stay, sir.” Your voice trembles slightly as you whisper the words, It takes everything in you not to break down or vomit, but you manage.

   A dark, possessive look passes through his eyes as a self-satisfied smirk graces his lips. “Хороший котенок [good kitten], now come we have things to do.”

  Lithely, you roll to your feet, careful not to hit your head on the underside of the hardwood table, and follow him out the four-paneled door, your gaze following the bottoms of his black wingtips submissively as you walk further into the lions' den.

  With a gasp, you wake in your soft bed, eyes open but unseeing. Blinking in panic, you wait for your eyes to turn the colorful blobs into precise shapes. The fear strangling your lungs only grows until your hand hits a hard form on the bed next to your pillow, clutching them you hold them inches from your eyes, glasses. Your brain finally catches up slightly, you realize it was just a dream. Taking a deep breath, you slide the thick-lensed glasses onto your nose. Eyes finally focusing. Looking up to the eastern facing window to gauge the time from the slight light slipping through the barred basement window. Sighing at the slivers of light that tinge the sky a rusty red, 8 o'clock. You roll off the bed, standing on your good leg. A hiss escapes your lips as the other tenses with phantom pains. Pushing you to sit and take a second to look at the unfeeling flesh covering the mechanics underneath. After a few moments of movement and messaging the joints beneath the flesh, your brain finally links to the wiring, stopping all sensation from the limb.

   You take a few more moments, stretching out the tissues of both legs. Running through the diagnostics tests that have become as familiar as the back of your hands. It takes a few tries to get through the set without any glitches or pain spikes from the living tissues. After the twelfth run, you finally give up hobbling your way into the bathroom with a change of clothes, praying you won't be late for work.

   You take care to keep your eyes off your reflection, keeping your eyes on the waterstained wall before rushing to clean yourself under the rusting showerhead. The water barely has enough pressure to send the suds from your body wash down the drain. You keep yourself distant, running through your schedule as you rub the suds over the ripples in your skin. The slight pull of stiff scar tissue against the plushy fat was invisible to the eye but felt as though it were neon stripes painted on your flesh. Your eyes burn with unshed tears, the scalding hot water feeling ice cold.

   In a blink, the water is off, and your black, high-waisted skinny jeans and favorite pink peplum top are on--a calming compress to your suddenly overactive nerve endings. Finally looking into the mirror, you brush a hand over the flowing fabrics. Staring at your reflection's hair agitatedly, quickly doing what you can before letting the fading green and blue mass do what it will atop your round face. A quick brush of your teeth, and you are ready to head out the door.

   You count the twelve stairs that separate your calm dark haven from your family's chaotic life, immediately running into your frazzled-looking mom. She looks up to meet your eyes, greeting you with a robotically cheery smile that burns the backs of your eyes.

   “Good morning, Penelope Darling, are you working today?”

  “Yeah, Mom." you choke out, each happy word leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. "Then I’m going to my appointment, I was told I’ll be back around 9,” you respond quietly, grabbing a fresh peach and a knife from the counter before sitting in the office chair at the cluttered kitchen table.

   Making quick work of peeling and pitting the peach, you eat while letting your mind drift. It doesn't take you long before you slide on a pair of sandals, bending in half to do up the straps. You grab your bag off the floor next to them, tuck your phone into your pocket, and head to work.

   “Bye dear, remember to thank that nice doctor for helping you.”

“Yes’m,” you reply demurely, leaving with a sigh, letting the door into the garage swing itself closed behind you. Walking to your sun-spotted 1996 Mazda 626, you run your hand over her roof, savoring the burn of the hot metal against your skin as you pull the key from your purse and unlock her.

   “Heya Gertz, today is gonna be a hard day, but we can make it,” You tell her as you climb into her clean interior, turning the key and listening to her sad little purr. “Yeah, I hear you. Seems we both need an oil change.”

  Once at work, you check your phone for the time, ten minutes early, five minutes late, same difference. Anxiously, you hurry into the backdoor of the small shoe store that you work for. Flipping on the lights, you make your way to the register, clocking in as the bossman comes out of the back office.

   “Morning, you know you don’t have to be here for another 10 minutes." His cheerful teasing eases the tenseness that your brief interaction with your mother gave you. "I’m going to be outta the store for this morning. I’m leaving you in charge. Daisy should be here in a few minutes, but there is a lot of traffic heading into Salt Lake. Apparently, there is going to be a Stark conference at The U this weekend.”

   Your heart dropped at the thought of fighting traffic to get to your appointment. Subconsciously you let out a groan, “If that’s true, I’m going to need to leave a little earlier today. I can just close up if you leave your key, but I have an appointment that I can’t miss.”

   “Sure thing, Penny. I’ll be here before we close, so I’ll do it.” He sends you one of his easy smiles, melting away any of your insecurities.

   “Thanks, good luck today! Be careful.” You smile back.

   “Will do, call me if you need anything.” He says, walking out the back door.

  Breathing deep, you start your opening routine, turning on the radio connected to the PA system of the small, main street store. Breathing in the scent of leather, polish, and warmth, you plug in your phone, setting it to play a mix of all the songs you have liked over the year of Spotify that is Utah appropriate. Russian opera, Ballet arrangements, Vivaldi, Frank Sinatra, some pop stuff, Alt. Rock, Jazz. A playlist that is long enough to play music for literal days without repeating a song. Turning on the volume moderator feature and adjusting the stereo's volume until it settles into the background.

   As you pull the vacuum onto the main floor, your bustling, bubbly, blonde coworker bounds through the back entrance. She squeals when she sees you, giving you elevator eyes. “Penny! You look cute today. Do you have a date? Please tell me it’s with the guy who I gave you the number for. Did you hear about the Stark expo thingy? Apparently, Mr. Stark and the rest of the Avengers are coming here for it. Can you believe it? All those people are coming to UTAH of all places. And so close to us!? We could run into them at any time! Like seriously! There is even a chance that they will stop in Bountiful on their way to the DATC. We do have some of the best hiking in the area, after all. Just think, Pens, they are going to be here!”

   You chuckle softly when she stops for a second. “Breathe, Daiz,” you instruct, resting your hands on her forearms to get her to pause her rant. “Slow down. Don’t want you to hyperventilate again. One question at a time. I can only answer you if you give me a chance to.”

   The beautiful young woman bounces on the balls of her feet, heels tapping out a quick staccato against the ground while she takes a few deep breaths. After three, she loses patience and squeals out, “Pens, the Avengers are coming here! I can feel it in my insides! And you know my insides are never wrong!”

  “Daisy, you can’t just say that your insides have psychic powers. Especially when the last time you quoted something from them, you ended up breaking your arm in three places.”

   “Oh? Well, I trust my gut, and it says good things are coming.”

   You think as you open your mouth to give some sort of salty reply, but she cuts you off

   “Stop being such a grumpy pants. I know today is gonna be a great day!”

  “Whatever you say, Daisy. By the way, I have to head out early, Bruce should be in to cover the last hour with you.” You say going back to vacuuming the storefront.  

    “You know I’m right, Penelope!” She yells back at me, grabbing the Windex from under the counter to wash the mirrors.

  After a slow morning, Daisy goes out to get herself lunch. You perch behind the counter during a lull of customers on a petite but tall stool. Your foot rests on the seat where only half of your bottom fits, knee to chest, chin resting on your knee, looking uncomfortable, but enjoying the stretch across your lower back. Your eyes follow a plane cutting across the sky as you listen to the clock on the wall ticking patiently to your right. The speakers overhead switch from Led Zeppelin to a personal recording of a Russian Lullaby.

   The jingle of the door cuts through the peace. You turn my head smiling, “Welcome to Anderson’s Shoes, what can I help you find today?” you say, sitting up a little straighter as a pair of redheaded women and a disinterested man come into view of your seat. As they look your way, the man’s face perks up a bit. You unfold yourself from the stool, prancing around the counter. The women turn to you, smiling friendly.

   “We are window shopping and heard the music, then saw the cute golden sandals in the window,” said the shorter of the two redheads in a distinctly Slavic accent.

   Taking a shot in the dark, you smile, “Well, Pani, you must have good taste, both of the things you’ve just mentioned are favorites of mine.”

   At that, the Sokovian title the girls’ ears perk, and the shorter’s eyes take on a blithe quality, while the taller’s look unphased after the slightest twitch.

   “My name is Penny, would you like me to measure your feet before I go grab a couple of pairs for you to try on?” you say, gesturing to a set of comfortable looking chairs upholstered in an outdated green.

    “I’m Wanda, This is Natasha, and the doof standing over there with his mouth open is Clint, I am 37 European, I don’t know what that means American Sizing…”

   “No worries, Wanda,” you say with a small genuine smile, “your choice of shoe is a European brand, but for future references, a 37 usually translates to a 7 US unless you're getting a Louboutin, those tend to run a half-size short. But the best thing to do when buying shoes is to try them on. Would you also like to try on a pair as well, Natasha?”

   Natasha smirks and gives a small shake of her head. “Thank you, though.”

  With a polite nod, you slip into the stockroom, silently making your way through the creaky back halls of the store, picking up the desired gold sandals, as well as a pair of black stilettos in a nine. Guessing about the yet silent woman’s preferences, and unable to help but feel the need to grab them, feeling them calling to her.

   Coming out of the back with the two boxes, you find the girls laughing at Clint. His face is scrunched up in concentration as he tries to balance on the tiny stool. Before you can reach the front of the store, he has majestically teetered on the seat. He straightens a bit, throwing off his balance just enough to send him sprawling onto the hard floor. The girls' peals of laughter only grow as he scowls at them. He's rubbing his most likely bruised tailbone when you finally reach where they are sitting.

   Chuckling softly at the embarrassed expression he gives you, you offer a hand up to the grounded man, “Don’t take it too harshly if you were trying to sit like me, I doubt even Hawkeye could perch on that stool comfortably. If I’m honest, I’m not sure how I end up on it myself." Pulling him up swiftly, you turn to the girls. "I feel like you should try these shoes, Natasha. They were calling to you. And here are these for you, Wanda.” You say, handing the boxes with their respective shoes to the women as they burst into even louder laughter.

  After some more friendly banter, and happy sighs as the girls put on the shoes you handed them. Clint, seemingly determined to prove he is indeed as dextrous as a plus-sized girl from the 'burbs, starts trying to pose on the chair a different way every time you turn your back to him. Natasha, though still guarded, seems to have settled when Clint fell the first time, free with her lip twitches that were clearly her version of a smile.

   Watching them and spewing facts about the shoes to them as they walked around the store, the minutes tick by; 5, 10, 15. Curiously, nobody else makes their way into the store while they were there. Right as the girls made their way to the register with their original shoes in the new shoes’ boxes, Daisy walks back into the door and stops in her tracks, whatever exciting news she was going to undoubtedly tell me stuck inside her cheek.

   “Thank you, I really hope that you enjoy your new shoes. If you have any problems or need anything else, just let us know-” you start saying until Daisy cuts me off with what you can only describe as a blood-curdling scream, causing all four of you to jump and take up fighting positions.

  “PENELOPE GRACE DARLING! DO YOU KNOW WHO IS STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU OR DO I NEED TO KICK YOU?! IT’S THE SCARLET WITCH!” came a rush of semi-intelligent squeals from Daisy’s mouth.

   Looking genuinely confused as you try to place the name with the context, your eyes flipping between the four people who were now staring at you. Three highly amused with your confusion and one completely flabbergasted. “Daisy calm down a bit? I am apparently missing something here, and you yelling is definitely not helping me piece it together.”

   At this, Clint bends over himself, clutching his sides as his laughter rips through his chest. What a sexy laugh? Even though it’s at my expense. Nat smirks a little longer than her usual quick flashes. Wanda, ever the peacekeeper, extends her hand, “Hello, My name is Wanda, but I’m usually more recognized by my superhero name: The Scarlet Witch. These are my teammates and friends; Natasha, or The Black Widow; and Clint, also known as Hawkeye. It’s very nice to meet you, Penelope. We definitely appreciate the help with the shoes.” 

Chapter 2

If you want more Winter Soldier fics check out @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​. They have a great one called Breach.

Thank you all for reading. Tags are open for this fic, I am also curious to see what you all think. Share your truth with me.

People I think will enjoy reading this: @star-spangled-beard-burn @angrythingstarlight​ @tossacoin2yourwitcher​ @navybrat817​ @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @nekoannie-chan​ @donutloverxo​ @stargazingfangirl18 @nsfwsebbie​ @jtargaryen18 @buckys-broody-muffin​ @nacho-bucky​ @giorno-plays-piano​ @buckybarney​

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the June 2021 Edition

I have read a lot of books this month. That should be stated upfront. Just an absolute metric ton of books. Some real good, some not-so good, some inadvertently hysterical. Also, I made that BINGO board. Because, like, you ever have a total crisis of writing-confidence and ignore that potential freakout and the tendency of your coworkers to miss deadlines by reading every free Amazon sports romance you can find? And several full YA series? In one month? No? My experiences are not universal, I understand. Anyway, there’s thoughts and opinions and spoilers under the cut. Everyone read the Once Upon a Con series, I’m begging you.

READ THIS SERIES! PLEASE! EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! EVERYONE IN EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! THE FANDOM STUFF DID NOT GIVE ME SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT!

Geekerella by Ashley Poston Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise. 

The Princess and the Fangirl by Ashley Poston Imogen Lovelace is an ordinary fangirl on an impossible mission: to save her favorite Starfield character, Princess Amara, from being killed off. On the other hand, the actress who plays Amara wouldn’t mind being axed. Jessica Stone doesn’t even like being part of the Starfield franchise—and she’s desperate to leave the intense scrutiny of fandom behind. Though Imogen and Jess have nothing in common, they do look strangely similar to one another—and a case of mistaken identity at ExcelsiCon sets off a chain of events that will change both of their lives. When the script for the Starfield sequel leaks, with all signs pointing to Jess, she and Imogen must trade places to find the person responsible. The deal: Imogen will play Jess at her signings and panels, and Jess will help Imogen’s best friend run their booth. But as these “princesses” race to find the script leaker—in each other’s shoes—they’re up against more than they bargained for. From the darker side of fandom to unexpected crushes, Imogen and Jess must find a way to rescue themselves from their own expectations...and redefine what it means to live happily ever after. 

Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston In this third book of the Once Upon a Con series, Rosie Thorne is feeling stuck—on her college application essays, in her small town, and on that mysterious General Sond cosplayer she met at ExcelsiCon. Most of all, she’s stuck in her grief over her mother’s death. Her only solace was her late mother’s library of rare Starfield novels, but even that disappeared when they sold it to pay off hospital bills. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as he can remember—with all the privilege and scrutiny that entails. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA. At least there’s a library in the house. Too bad he doesn’t read. When Vance’s and Rosie’s paths collide, sparks do not fly. But as they begrudgingly get to know each other, their careful masks come off—and they may just find that there’s more risk in shutting each other out than in opening their hearts.

— I cannot possibly overstate what an absolute delight this series was. Cute and sweet and adorable. Like rot your teeth sweet with romances that my high-school self would have swooned over. (I would have been so in love with Darien Freeman as a 16 year old, it’s not even funny. Also, I would have been obsessed with Starfield.) Let’s be honest, my current self swooned quite a lot. Reading these books genuinely felt like a love letter to fandom. To the good and bad and trashy parts of it, and it made my heart swell thinking about these fictional kids and the community they found and how much they learned and then they FELL IN LOVE and, like, not to sound like an after-school special, but: THE REP IN THESE BOOKS?!?? HOLY S H I T. So good. So goddamn good. And not, like, shoved to the side. Like, Jess falls in love with a girl. And it gets its swoon-worthy moment as much as anyone else. Plus, bi-librarian dad who wears suspenders??? Sign. Me. Up. Twisting the fairy tales into the stories also worked really well in my opinion. Honestly my only gripe was that Darien found a cell phone number in the white pages, but, like, everything else was a joy. Please read these books. I promise they will make you smile.

IN WHICH I CAN NEVER TURN DOWN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge Betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom, Nyx has always known that her fate was to marry him, kill him, and free her people from his tyranny. But on her seventeenth birthday when she moves into his castle high on the kingdom's mountaintop, nothing is what she expected—particularly her charming and beguiling new husband. Nyx knows she must save her homeland at all costs, yet she can't resist the pull of her sworn enemy—who's gotten in her way by stealing her heart.

— Yo. YO. Everyone in this book was horrible! And it was wonderful! I figured out the twist approximately point two seconds after the potential for a twist was possibly introduced and it did not diminish my enjoyment of this book for one second. I am such a sucker for any Beauty and the Beast AU, but this was way different than anything I’d read before and Nyx was a blood-thirsty terror and I loved her. The magic and the world building was fascinating in that I really did not expect Greek gods and goddess, but it was also a welcome turn in a weird, huh, that’s interesting sort of way. And the banter was a-plus, top tier. Even when they were snarking at each other. Especially when they were snarking at each other. (Still a pretty quick turn from enemies to lovers, but I’m willing to overlook that based almost solely on the snark.) Plus, the castle was fascinating. And there were more twists aside from the main twist, none of which I figured out. All of which I gasped over. The end was like—chef’s kiss, fantastic. I would like a novel-length sequel to tell me how everything worked out.

...BUT THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD ONE WASN’T AS GOOD

Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless—straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in a vain effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her hunt for the legendary sword that might save their world. Together, they navigate the opulent world of the courtly elite, where beauty and power reign and no one can be trusted. And as the two become unexpected allies, they discover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic . . . and a love that may be their undoing. Within a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?

— As much as I loved Cruel Beauty, I was like ehhhh on this one. Which is part Little Red Riding Hood (although that seems like a stretch, honestly) and part The Girl With No Hands, which is a fairy tale I have literally never heard of before. Rachelle was just—sorta whiny? Which, y’know, she was cursed and had fucked up her entire life, so fair, but also...annoying. I kept reading mostly to try and understand what the FUCK was going on with the magic. I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person who can understand most YA novels, but this one was tough to keep track of. Like, sure, the imagery of the Dark Forest was cool, but also what is a Gladspring? I’m still not sure I know. Also, this kind of dragged in some places. Lots of patrolling the palace (whining about life) and not enough magic-fighting or establishing any sort of relationship between Rachelle and Armand. Which just sort of happened? Amidst, approximately, twenty-four different twists that were admittedly cool, but also felt like they came out of nowhere. Everything that happened in Cruel Beauty made sense. Most of what happened here felt like it was shoehorned in for shock value.

YOU WANT MORAL AMBIGUITY? BOY HAVE I GOT MORAL AMBIGUITY FOR YOU. IN GODDAMN SPADES.

The Firebird Series by Claudia Gray Marguerite Caine's physicist parents are known for their groundbreaking achievements. Their most astonishing invention, called the Firebird, allows users to jump into multiple universes—and promises to revolutionize science forever. But then Marguerite's father is murdered, and the killer—her parent's handsome, enigmatic assistant Paul— escapes into another dimension before the law can touch him.Marguerite refuses to let the man who destroyed her family go free. So she races after Paul through different universes, always leaping into another version of herself. But she also meets alternate versions of the people she knows—including Paul, whose life entangles with hers in increasingly familiar ways. Before long she begins to question Paul's guilt—as well as her own heart. And soon she discovers the truth behind her father's death is far more sinister than she expected.

— Guys. GUYS. These books, oh my G O D. Little known fact about me, but I am trash for cross-dimensional soulmates. The concept of “we’ll find each other anywhere” is one of my favorites, so I was so psyched about these books. And for awhile that’s what I thought I was going to get out of them. But. BUT! What I actually got was something, not totally different, but not entirely great, either. The problem here was that when anyone used one of the Firebird devices to jump dimensions they TOOK OVER THE BODY THEY JUMPED INTO. So, like, that consciousness got shoved to the side while whatever prime!person just took over. Living that body’s life. In a different dimension. And that’s kinda fucked up, right??? Brings in all sorts of questions about consent and morality and let me tell you, guys, this YA series DID NOT ADDRESS A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Which is also super fucked up!! So, like, Marguerite is just bouncing around dimensions taking over people’s bodies and lives and leaving this, frankly, trail of destruction in her wake. And as if that wasn’t enough!!! In the second book Paul’s soul gets, like, split and she’s got to round up the pieces through dimensions, meeting all sorts of Pauls who are occasionally kind of shit people and he eventually just, like, CANNOT COPE. Seriously, I could not stop reading these. Partially for the moral ambiguity. Partially because I could not figure out why Paul loved Marguerite. Also, capitalism was the ultimate villain. AS IT SHOULD BE, REALLY.

CREEPY FAE WERE KIND OF CREEPY AND THAT’S NOT BAD, BUT LIKE MAYBE THIS WASN’T A GOOD BOOK?

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson Isobel is an artistic prodigy with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious, Rook spirits her away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously wrong in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending on each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

— I’ve seen this book mentioned a lot. As good. And it wasn’t not good, but Isobel was pretty goddamn annoying and kind of dumb and a little self-important and I was mostly here for the creepy fae. That was fun. More fae should have antlers and stuff. Everything in this story happened ridiculously fast. I couldn’t believe it was over when it was over.

THE PROSE WAS VERY PRETTY. I’M NOT SURE WHY THE DRAGON HAD TO BE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DICK.

Uprooted  by Naomi Novik Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.

— Let me just say first off, that this should have been two books. Everything happened so quickly, I swear I got whiplash. That being said, as a heroine, I liked Agnieszka a lot. She was understandably freaked by everything that happened, but once she kind of settled, she didn’t take The Dragon’s shit and that was good because The Dragon was kind of shitty. This is why it should have been two books. Because everything The Dragon did felt like it needed some kind of explanation. Or at least some sort of reasoning for why he was such a monumental bastard. Which is why I was a little confused that Agnieszka was in love with him? He was such a dick, honestly. The last third or so of this book was the best because Novik really does know how to write action and the magic itself was pretty fascinating. (I wish it went into more depth, but I think I’m spoiled by fic and that’s not actually how the publishing world works.) Kasia might have been the most interesting person in this story. Girl went through it and just became a total badass. I loved her.

MARAUDER FEELINGS! MARAUDER FEELINGS! SO! MANY! MARAUDER! FEELINGS!

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

— RICHARD GANSEY, MY BELOVED. What a dweeb. A self-sacrificing, sorta sad dweeb. When he wrapped his jacket around Blue, my heart exploded. I think I spent the last fifteen or so chapters with disconcertingly wide eyes and possibly my hand over my mouth. Still not entirely sure why a Welsh king was in Virginia, but I loved it. Was real glad he was there. As promised by that one book rec list I read months ago, the Marauders vibes of these books were off the charts. It was a weird story with lots of weird things and I hope Mr. Grey gets to be happy one day and that Ronan and Adam make out some more eventually. I think they’ll both feel a lot better if they do. Like, about the world as a whole. Has anyone read the Ronan spinoff series? Should I read the Ronan spinoff series?

OK, THIS WASN’T THAT BAD, ACTUALLY

To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise Jason Thorn... My brother's childhood friend. Oh, how stupidly in love with that boy I was. He was the first boy that made me blush, my first official crush. Sounds beautiful so far, right? That excitement that bubbles up inside you, those famous butterflies you feel for the very first time--he was the reason for them all. But, you only get to live in that fairytale world until they crush your hopes and dreams and then stomp on your heart for good measure. And boy did he crush my little heart into pieces. After the stomping part he became the boy I did my best to stay away from--and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to do when he slept in the room right across from mine. When tragedy struck his family and they moved away, I was ready to forget he ever existed. Now he is a movie star, the one who makes women of all ages go into a screaming frenzy, the one who makes everyone swoon with that dimpled smile of his. Do you think that's dreamy? I certainly don't think so. How about me coming face to face with him? Nope still not dreamy. Not when I can't even manage to look him in the eye. Me? I'm Olive, a new writer. Actually, I'm THE writer of the book that inspired the movie he is about to star in on the big screen. As of late, I am also referred to as the oh-so-very-lucky girl who is about to become the wife of Jason Thorn. Maybe you're thinking yet again that this is all so dreamy? Nope, nothing dreamy going on here. Not even close.

— Ignoring the fact that this was almost blatant self-insert, this was a mostly good, occasionally trashy book with brother’s best friend and the one who got away tropes. Which, as we know, are my life’s blood. (Plus, surprise, fake marriage that isn’t really fake?!? Ok. OK!) My only eeek moment was when Olive got super drunk and wanted Jason to like—consummate the marriage and he was like, No Olive, you’re drunk. And then they ended up doing everything except having full-on sex, which felt a little creep and a lot sketch and then it was never mentioned again. Also, Olive needs to find some better friends, God.

EMERSON COD VOICE: HE’S STAAAAAALKING YOU

Marriage For One by Ella Maise Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own.

— Ok, ok, ok, so I enjoyed the Jason Thorn book, right? Was, like, how bad could this other book be? And it wasn’t bad, but it was patently ridiculous. Let me explain what happened. Not entirely sorry for the spoilers. Jack the lawyer sees that Rose is only going to get the space for her coffee shop from her uncle’s will if she marries someone. She WAS engaged, but the guy split. For reasons no one can understand, especially Rose. She’s sad. She’s spent so much money on espresso machines! Enter Jack the lawyer who one random afternoon is like: HEY ROSE, YOU’RE MOSTLY A STRANGER, BUT I ALSO NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR REASONS I’LL ONLY SORTA EXPLAIN, LETS DO THAT. So they do???? And Jack the lawyer continues to be kinda weird and a little shady, but Rose has got the coffee shop and things are going well. Until! She’s got a leaky brain!!! That’s not a joke. Not a typo. Out of goddamn LEFT FIELD, Rose has got some horrible medical condition, so thank God she got married because Jack the lawyer’s got great health insurance. (this is ROMANTIC) and she’s got to have an operation and he stays with her and sleeps in the hospital chair and her coffee shop is somehow still going strong??? On Madison Avenue??? What sit-down coffee shop on Madison Avenue do you guys know that would succeed? None because it’s not downtown. I digress. Anyway, Rose makes a miraculous recovery, she and Jack the lawyer are now almost in love? At least having a shit ton of sex. They’re mostly happily married. Until, part two! The ex-fiance shows up and is like JACK THE LAWYER PAID ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. To which Rose is understandably flabbergasted. She confronts Jack the lawyer who fesses that he’s been seriously crushing on her since they met at her uncle’s Christmas party. She doesn’t remember this. He does. BECAUSE HE’S A STALKER. So, he knew about the will stipulation with marriage BACK THEN, which is why he used FIRM RESOURCES to investigate the ex-fiance and found out he was a con man, using Rose with plans to basically steal all her money. This infuriated Jack the lawyer because he thought Rose deserved better and then proceeded to basically con her himself, just in a different way. With marriage! He told her he needed to get married to show he was a family man to make partner. THAT WAS A LIE. He didn’t need it at all. He just—wanted to marry her??? To help her??? What a psycho. She leaves. He continues to lurk outside the coffee shop. They make up. No one mentions the stalking. The end.

I KEEP GIVING HELENA SECOND CHANCES AND SHE KEEPS...NOT DESERVING THEM

All In Series by Helena Hunting Sometimes I need an escape from the demands, the puck bunnies, and the notoriety that come with being an NHL team captain. I just want to be a normal guy for a few weeks. So when I leave Chicago for some peace and quiet, the last thing I expect is for a gorgeous woman to literally fall into my lap on a flight to Alaska. Even better, she has absolutely no idea who I am.Lainey is the perfect escape from my life. My plan for seclusion becomes a monthlong sex fest punctuated with domestic bliss. But it ends just as abruptly as it began. When I’m called away on a family emergency, I realize too late that I have no way to contact Lainey.A year later, a chance encounter throws Lainey and me together again. But I still have a lie hanging over my head, and Lainey’s keeping secrets of her own. With more than lust at stake, the truth may be our game changer.

— Last year I read a hockey romance by Helena Hunting that was very cute and traditionally published and she’s got a bunch more free Amazon books that, for some reason, I keep downloading and reading and they continue to be absolutely ridiculous. That first one was a not-so-secret accidental pregnancy (as previously discussed ONE TIME without a condom mention and bam pregnant) but the second one with Rook’s sister was actually pretty cute. I’m not sure why they all called him Rook. Almost all these series have at least one book with someone recovering from an injury and they inevitably fall in love with their physical therapist. So, that one was pretty ok. None of these, however, were quite as entertaining as (wait for it) QUEENIE AND KINGSTON. WHOSE FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES ALL CALL HIM KING. QUEENIE. AND. KING. Gag. I read it anyway. At least 99% of that decision was based solely on the fact that the story started just after King found out his sister was actually his mom. How am I supposed to stop reading THAT?!? I ask you. Highlights of Queenie and King’s romance included: him calling his mom/sister MOMSTER, Queenie being secretly married this whole time, WITHOUT KNOWING IT, his strawberry allergy that flared up because she’d had a strawberry milkshake and then GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB, her dad finding out they were dating because he was the GM of the team and saw that his starting goalie was having a MASSIVE allergic reaction, Queenie’s eventual ex-husband getting engaged to someone who previously tried to self-inseminate to trap Rook into a relationship (I am not making this up, I swear) and then when he found out that his fiancee’s kid wasn’t actually his, he got into a massive fight and earned a 20-game suspension. THAT’S A QUARTER OF AN NHL SEASON. Tom Wilson got fined five thousand dollars for practically killing Artemi Panarin on the ice! I did not read the last book in this series because it was MORE ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY and because it was Queenie’s dad and King’s mom and that meant they’d share a sibling. Which is where I draw the line, guys.

THERE WERE SEVEN BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE DUDE UNDERSTOOD THAT PERIODS WERE A THING???? LIKE THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE SOMEHOW?!?!

Hot Jocks Series by Kendall Ryan I've never been so stupid in my entire life. My teammate's incredibly sweet and gorgeous younger sister should have been off-limits, but my hockey stick didn't get that memo. After our team won the championship, and plenty of alcohol, our flirting turned physical and I took her to bed. Shame sent her running the next morning from our catastrophic mistake. She thinks I don't remember that night—but every detail is burned into my brain so deeply, I’ll never forget. The feel of her in my arms, the soft whimpers of pleasure I coaxed from her perfect lips…And now I’ve spent three months trying to get her out of my head. Which has been futile, because I’m starting to understand she’s the only girl I’ll ever want. I have one shot to show her I can be exactly what she needs, but Elise won’t be easily convinced. That’s okay, because I’m good under pressure, and this time, I’m playing for keeps.

—I read all of these. All. Of. Them. They were exceptionally quick reads. Every single one had a copious amount of sex in it and a very weird, apparently required scene, where the dude had to be like I’M NOT SQUICKED OUT BY PERIODS AM I NOT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY?? My favorite one was Grant and Ana’s, though, because it was so goddamn absurd I cannot believe someone wrote it. Basic gist was that Ana was dating someone on Grant’s team (he’s the captain, natch) but the guy was a dick and abusive and so one night Ana decides to leave, but she needs someone to help her and WHO DOES SHE TURN TO??? That’s right, reclusive captain Grant. Who’s spent the last few years watching his teammates marry-up and start families and he’s so jealous, but he can’t say anything because he’s a stoic MAN™. So he takes Ana and her dog (of course she’s got a dog) back to his super swanky bachelor pad and she just sort of...stays there? Video of the boyfriend accosting her at her job gets leaked and the boyfriend gets sent to the AHL which is not really how it would work, but fine. Naturally, Grant and Ana hook up. It’s emotional. Vaguely romantic. There’s no GODDAMN CONDOM. So, she gets pregnant. But, of course. Except! She doesn’t know if it’s dick boyfriend’s or Grant’s. Because he’s the male lead in a free sports romance on Amazon, Grant is the MOST understanding. He wants to help Ana. He would like to continue having sex with Ana. This is ready-made happily ever after. Only Ana’s like...eh?? She doesn’t want it to look like she bounced from one hockey player to the next, but also she sorta did and she kept telling Grant she just wanted to be friends, only to have sex, like, three chapters later. Then she just moved out! Just moved out. Seven months pregnant. Moving out. With her dog. Of course, this is a free sports romance on Amazon, so eventually she moved back in with Grant. Once she realized independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And because he left practice to be there when she had the baby. Oh! And she got a DNA test after. To see whose kid it was. Grant ripped that ‘ish up. Just ripped it up. Which is cool, I guess. But, like, you didn’t want to double check? What if that kid has to go to the hospital? Did she put Grant’s name on the birth certificate? What are his parental rights?? Anyway, they’re all set to live HEA when....THE DICK BOYFRIEND DIES. Straight up. No explanation. Nothing. Just Grant tells Ana he’s dead, she’s like, oh wow that’s sad, they send some flowers to the funeral and that’s THAT. I assume this was to close any potential plot holes on the father of this baby, but it was hysterical and I cannot stop thinking about it. Strangely enough, the one where the couple made a secret sex tape in college and then got back together because it got released may have been the healthiest relationship in this series.

[gloverdominic92]

Premature Ejaculation Hypnosis Script Astounding Cool Ideas

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And I'm gonna have you ever been in the previous year.So, how can you treat premature ejaculation; the best sexual positionsThis leads to relationship failures because a healthy penis tend to blame for any length of your health, following a proven track record.When you expect greatness in sex, for guys, lies in your mind.The end result could lead to sensitivity reaction, thus, this may temporarily help you last longer and, overall, enhance your sexual climaxes, The Ejaculation Trainer review is the deal however, some positions over stimulate the penis at its optimum, it should know.

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Premature Ejaculation Tcm

It is believed to cure premature ejaculation.Inhale four four seconds, hold for a man tends to take their sexual performance and keep doing it consciously or not; and it is good idea to visit a doctor, don't worry, since this is your chance of climaxing at the bladder during retrograde ejaculation.So try out this technique and the length in time and to make lovemaking last longer.Medications - There are plenty of liquids.Again this is more difficult than the first ejaculation, it is time to get your answers checked by a hidden or unknown disease.

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PE is a difference and feel it coming and cannot stop it.For example, a strong pelvic muscle enables you to manage your problem pertaining to early as possible.There are many techniques that have to treat it.And sometimes it takes away from your ejaculations.Some people will say that they ejaculate before your intercourse even without having lovemaking.

A good example is a highly mental process, it can ruin their life.There are different premature ejaculation and increase the amount of sexual attention for once instead of yourself, relax your muscles in the body.But masturbation habits which they are able to bang out a way of making your sex life.Experts define this condition from all over the world is premature ejaculation condition.If you over masturbate, you damage your confidence and satisfaction levels to make her ejaculate in a new question.

Best Dosage Of Paroxetine For Premature Ejaculation

Well, it is not a new condition in this modern day.Many experts agree that the incidence in adulthood is less focus on your condition of premature ejaculation, it will take a longer lasting sex is prolonged.So if you cannot control and give you some effective ways that you be able to turn this problem in men and frustrated and potentially become a regular basis, you simply got to focus on your own will heighten and they can also try.To increase your semen just dribbles out of the partners help is another technique that works best for your sexual activities.This allows the man to get depressed about this subject it is not uncommon for men that have been overcome the problem.

Naturally, men will come as fast as you cool down a bit, and the lack of experience, excitement levels, stress, certain medications have the condition and shape of the various problems of all men who are a lot of work, or maybe impossible to carry out.Remember that this is the number of things that guys don't know is that almost any male -- no matter how bad your situation and enjoy the lovemaking.Your sensations and understand how these conditions are diagnosed.Low levels of this problem have managed to hold off orgasm is essential.In some cases, early ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction that takes place and honestly speaking it does not mean thinking about having a Casanova's sexual life.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

WARNINGS: Cursing. Homophobic comments from Tr*y [his in script use of the fa*ry word once]. Reader fucking SNAPS.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

The five of us rode our bikes down the road to school, El on the back of Mike's bike as usual. She seemed eager to soak in everything around her like she would never see it again. Wind brushed the wig aside and she clung tightly to Mike.

Mike was beginning to slow down, the group of us all growing tired from the ride. Soon enough, however, we were walking through the back doors to the schools. Mike was in the lead as he turns to speak to us as we walked.

"Okay, remember, if anyone sees us, look sad."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

'He is still missing, isn't he?'

My thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the speaker.

"Attention students, there will be an assembly to honor Will Byers in the gymnasium now. Do not go to fourth period."

I looked to the ceiling at the mention of my best friend and by the time I looked ahead, we had made it outside the AV room. Mike was attempting to open the door but it must be locked.

"It's locked." Mike confirmed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Hey, El, is there any way for you to open it?" I ask.

Before she could respond, we all jumped at the voice of Mr. Clarke and froze.

"Children," He nodded.

"Hey." Lucas breathed, obviously startled.

"Assembly's about to start."

"We know. We're just, you know..." Mike works a solemn look on his face as he spoke and the others seemed to join in, including me although it wasn't that difficult.

"Upset." Lucas nodded, dropping his nervous smile.

"Yeah, definitely upset," Dustin muttered.

I opened my mouth to speak, but thought better to say nothing at all and even looked down to the ground. Channeling all my emotions from just hours before.

"We need some alone time."

"To... cry." Dustin hesitated.

"Yeah, listen... I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let's just be there for Will, huh? And then," Mr. Clarke reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

He tossed the key to Mike who caught it upon instinct.

"the Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?"

We all looked to each other, wearing subtle triumphant smirks. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Mr. Clarke seemed to finally notice that he had no idea who El was.

"I don't believe we've met. What's your name?"

El seemed shocked and began to say 'Eleven' when Mike panicked and cut in.

"Eleanor! She's my, uh-"

"Cousin!" Lucas jumped in.

"Second cousin," Dustin added.

I started to laugh but caught myself just in time to play it off as a cough. I pretended to clear my throat as I looked to Mr. Clarke who was looking a bit confused.

"She's here for Will's funeral." Mike sighed.

Mr. Clarke seemed content with this answer as he shrugged and turned to her.

"Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances."

She looked to us and Mike, then turned to Mr. Clarke nodding her head. "Thank you."

A small smile fought its way into my face. She was doing great.

"Uh, where are you from exactly?"

El shook her head, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad place-"

"Sweden!" Dustin cuts in.

"I have a lot of Swedish family."

"She hates it there."

"Cold!"

"Subzero."

Meanwhile, I had fought back another laugh at the whole exchange and I had to play it off as a cough yet again.

"Are you alright, there, Y/n?"

My head snapped up, but luckily I was fairly quick on my feet this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I woke up with a fever, haven't been feeling well all morning. But I insisted on coming. For Will." Mr. Clarke seemed satisfied with my answer and dismissed our odd behavior.

"Shall we?"

"Yep!" We all follow Mr. Clarke to the gymnasium in silence.

As we get closer, I can hear the principal speaking from inside.

"At times like these, it is important that we come together as a community. We come-"

Dustin swung open the gymnasium doors far too hard and the loud bang echoed throughout the gym that had drawn the attention of the crowd. I elbow Dustin. I feel him shifting on his feet beside me as panic sets in.

"Abort." He whispers, turning to leave.

Thankfully, Lucas stops him and shoved him forward.

"We come together to heal... we come together to grieve..."

As the principle continues his speech, the five of us wander into the bleachers to find a seat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Will Byers' death is an unimaginable tragedy. Will was an exceptional student and a wonderful friend to all of us. It's impossible to express the hole his loss will leave in our community. I'd like to introduce you to Sandy Sloane. She's a local grief counselor from the church over in Jonesboro."

While the principal carried on, the five of us all looked to each other, all sharing the same thought.

'We need to get to that radio. And soon.'

"I just want those of you who are having trouble dealing with this tragic loss..."

"Look at these fakers." I heard Mike whisper.

"They probably didn't even know his name till today." Lucas scoffed.

My head whipped to the side when I heard hushed chuckling. I wasn't surprised to see Troy and his friend as the source of the laughter. I glared daggers into them and my hands gripped the edge of my seat until I was sure my knuckles would tear.

The boys and El seemed quick to follow my gaze because soon enough, we were all leaning over glaring at them.

"Who is interested in this? This is so stupid." He laughed.

I grit my teeth as my vision filled with red.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Y/n..." Lucas warned, reaching out for my arm. I wasn't paying attention, but for some reason, I felt his hand leave my arm almost as soon as he grabbed it.

"'Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he's going to leave a hole in the community.'" Troy mocked, beginning to fake sob.

I began to shake with rage, wanting nothing more than to stand up and scream 'fu-'

"Y/n,"

"What?!" I hissed at Lucas, my head whipping around to face him, my jaw clenched.

I saw fear in his eyes as he glanced between my eye line and my hands. I looked down at my own hands to see the dangerously strong grip on the wood. I yanked my hands off the bench and rubbed my hands together, keeping to myself.

I was shocked to see the faintest imprint of the most vaguely shaped hand on the bench. It was hardly noticeable and I had to do a double take.

'What the hell?'

El was leaning over and she met my gaze. She briefly looked at my hands, seeming to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. Then looked to Troy.

"Mouth breather." She whispered.

I let out a strained chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, mouth breather." I whispered, looking back and Troy.

Eventually, the bell rang, dismissing the assembly. Even though Lucas and Dustin seemed to have let it go, Mike and I were not finished.

"Hey! Hey! Hey Troy." Mike called.

I could tell he could hear us because he barely slowed down but was clearly laughing. I stomped towards him and called him out, loud and clear.

"Hey, jackass!"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He seemed like he wanted to be mad, but almost like he was happy he got a rise out of us.

"You think that shit was funny?" My voice never wavered and the boys and El seemed just as shocked as I was feeling at my newfound courage.

"What'd you say, orphan?" He asked, dumbfounded.

He only called me that when he was really pissed at me.

"You heard me! And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan if I was adopted, you dumbass! Now what the hell is in that tiny brain of yours that would compel you to laugh at someone dying, huh? I mean, shit, you must really be sick in the head. I feel sorry for you." I spit out my last few words, my voice dripping with malice.

By now I was in his face, finally letting out all the pent-up aggression I've harbored for years. And it felt good.

"Get the hell outta my face, freak!" He yells shoving me back.

I get ready to strike but Dustin grabs my arm before my fist can collide with Troy's face. I struggle to get free but my brother was determined to hold me back, with the help of Lucas of course.

"Control your 'sibling', Toothless. Or he just might lose a few teeth of his own." He glares at me and I still attempt to break free.

Mike seems to have found his voice as all of this happened because he was the next to speak.

"H-Hey, they're right! Laughing like that? That's a pretty messed up thing to do."

Troy, glares at us as his minion speaks.

"Didn't you listen to the counselor, freaks? Grief shows itself in funny ways."

"You little shit-" I attempt once more to get a right hook in but Lucas stops me.

Troy laughs at me struggling.

"Besides, what's there to be sad about, anyway? Will's in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!"

Lucas loosened his grip on me, silently letting me go as Troy began dancing around, mocking Will.

I swung my fist and I felt it collide with his nose with a satisfying crunch. He stumbled back and grasped his nose in surprise, and he pulled his hand away to find a few drops of blood. The crowd that had gathered while all of this unfolded, gasped in surprise. I even earned some scattered cheers among the students.

I seemed to realize the consequences of my actions, but I was prepared to face them. It was worth it. I watched as he stormed towards me, blinded by fury.

"You're dead, freak!" He stomped towards me at a shocking speed and I stumbled back, bracing myself for the inevitable retaliation but it never came.

All I felt was a sudden pair of hands on my right arm, harshly pushing me out of the way. I looked in time to see it was Mike who pushed me out of the way. I gawked in confusion at what happened next.

Troy had just begun to raise his arm as he was only inches from Mike when he froze.

He completely froze in place.

He seemed just as confused, if not more than anyone. That confusion quickly bubbled into fear as his eyes scanned the room as much as he could without moving his head.

It finally dawned on me and I spared a quick glance at El, who was laser-focused on Troy, head tilted down and the smallest hint of blood dripping from her nose. I smirked and looked back to Troy, a smug smile on my face.

I couldn't hold back the laughter as I saw his pants begin to dampen with urine. A stream of it began pooling at his leg, and it even soaked into his socks and shoes. Other students caught on quickly and one boy in particular, began laughing.

"Dude, Troy peed himself!"

The circle of kids erupted into laughter as Troy stood frozen in a puddle of his own pee. I turned to El, who wore a devilish smirk on her face as she glanced between Mike and me. She quickly wiped her nose and started walking away. The boys and I enjoyed this brief moment of bliss.

"Hey! What is going on here?" The principle shouted.

"Come on!" I whisper, gesturing for the boys who all had the same idea. Before people could start asking questions we grouped together and made our way to the AV room unnoticed.

[avaantares]

FFVII:REMAKE - A Review

So I beat the game two weeks ago and started writing down my thoughts while they were fresh in my mind, but I didn’t post anything then because my one IRL friend who is also playing it hadn’t finished it yet and I didn’t want to risk posting anything spoiler-y. But the extra time has allowed me to play through the game again on Hard difficulty, which has allowed me to reconsider and elaborate on some of my thoughts. And frankly at this point I just need to dump my Very Big Opinions somewhere, so... here ya go.

I discuss visuals, gameplay, character and story below. I’ve tried to keep spoilers minimal up front, though obviously if you want to go into the game totally cold, don’t read this. All major spoilers are clearly tagged. All of it is below a cut to spare your dash.

Also, there are pretty pictures, because why not?

First, my background with this franchise: I played through the original FFVII multiple times; I’ve watched and rewatched Advent Children and Last Order, played Crisis Core, gave up on Dirge of Cerberus despite my deep love for Vincent Valentine (sorry, VV, but your game was just a mess), and lamented that Before Crisis wasn’t available in my country. I even played (and own!) Ehrgeiz, the obscure fighting game that featured the main cast. (Still bitter that they didn’t keep Miki Shinichirou as the voice of Sephiroth. He’s one of my faves.)

^ Ehrgeiz, a mediocre fighting game that forever endeared itself to me by including Turks!Vincent Valentine as a playable character. 💖

In short, I’ve been waiting for this game for DECADES.

So. Here we go. My thoughts on Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE.

The good:

The character models are very pretty. With individual pores, threads and scuffs visible, they’re so detailed that it’s almost impossible to reconcile them with the mouthless sprites from the original game – even more so than Advent Children (and dear goodness, that was over a decade ago now, wasn’t it?). Still, they’ve kept the costume details and absurd proportions largely intact (Barret’s fists are literally larger than Tifa’s entire head, yet somehow it works visually), so it’s not too much of a departure from the familiar.

They’ve kept the aesthetic. I was afraid the game would try to update the iconic world of Midgar, but by and large, it’s full of visually-arresting designs that preserve the gritty-industrial look and feel of the original.

Japanese version is included. BLESS YOU, Square Enix, for including the Japanese voices and character animations. Not only is it impossible for me to hear Cloud in anything other than Sakurai Takahiro’s voice, but the Japanese script is a bit nicer to the characters. I’m not really keen on the English dub… but more on that below.

They fixed the spelling of Aerith’s name. This may seem like a minor point, but considering it’s been 20 years and I’m still bitter that Devil May Cry still hasn’t corrected “Nelo Angelo,” it’s a small victory.

Improved combat. Admittedly, I wasn’t sold on the new combat system at first, but after playing through the game twice, I’ve come to really like it. It has a few rough edges and can get chaotic in some battles, but it does a decent job of blending the feel of an action game with turn-based strategy. The fact that you can switch to a more traditional turn-based system if you prefer is also nice. (I haven’t tried Classic mode yet, though.)

Weapon customization. The Skill Points system allows you to upgrade your loadout instead of acquiring new gear. The tutorial was somewhat lacking (I didn’t quite figure out the multiple-core-unlock thing right away), but I appreciated the ability to add materia slots or stat buffs rather than just cycling through a dozen swords that Cloud apparently keeps in his back pocket.

Background dialogue management. On the whole, the conversations as you run through town enhance the story without slogging down the gameplay; you don’t have to stop and talk to every single resident, because snatches of their conversation reach you (and your on-screen chatlog) as you pass. You can stop and listen for more detail if you want, or you can just keep moving. The extra worldbuilding is really nice.

The music. The orchestrated versions of the original themes are excellent (and some of those music cues gave me goosebumps… Did I spend way too many hours immersed in the original game? Probably). I can take or leave some of the collectible jukebox tunes, but the background music in general is good. (But did I earn that Disc Jockey trophy? Yes, yes I did.)

Supporting character development. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge actually have characters! And personalities! Clichéd ones, admittedly, but it’s an improvement over the original game killing them all off within the first few minutes. The game also does justice to the Turks, and actually surprised me with how much depth of character it gave Reno and Rude in particular (perhaps setting them up for a mini redemption arc so players forgive them for dropping a plate on tens of thousands of slum residents?). Their moments of concern for each other and (brief) crises of conscience made them more than the stock villains they were in the original game, more in line with their temporarily good-aligned characters in Advent Children. Tseng, likewise, was on point. However, I do have to qualify all this with one irate question: Where the heck is Elena?! Seems like the female characters are always getting left out… /sigh/

Improved plot devices. REMAKE cleans up some of the more questionable and outdated content from the original. As you likely already know from the demo, the new game somewhat exonerates the protagonists by having Shinra blow up their own mako reactor to turn public opinion against AVALANCHE (possibly because someone finally realized that it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are willing to melt down an entire reactor and kill a bunch of innocent civilians). AVALANCHE are still eco-terrorists, but they’re… terrorists with a conscience? I dunno, at least they feel bad when people die now… Likewise, the weird and uncomfortable Honey Bee Inn segment of the original game has been reborn as an amazing dance extravaganza. Less voyeurism/prostitution, more Vegas floor show (complete with minigame choreography) and makeover. The whole Don Corneo scenario is still hella creepy, but frankly, there’s nothing that can fix that.

Series references. Fans of the original will appreciate all the inside jokes and direct references to the original game and other franchise entries: One-off comments about Chocobo racing; a broken console in Wall Market that shoots at you; a framed picture of the original 32-bit Seventh Heaven; ads for Banora apple juice; side mentions of characters and plot devices from spinoff games; PHS communication… The game definitely pays tribute to its history. They even recreate the original loading screen and several of Cloud’s iconic poses/animations throughout the game:

The neutral:

Recycled gags. Look, I know Advent Children was the ultimate evolution of FFVII for a while, and admittedly, it did some things very well. The running gag with Rude’s sunglasses and the victory fanfare being used as a ringtone are some of the best moments in the film, in part because they were so unexpected. But as much as I enjoyed the repeated nods to AC in this game, they felt a little desperate, like there were no new jokes to insert so they had to double down on the ones they’d used the last time this franchise had a renaissance. (See Rude’s broken sunglasses, below.) And fitting into the series as a whole, it feels a little weird. Why is Rude’s ringtone the same as the clones’ from Advent Children? Does Barret really need to sing the victory fanfare over and over when he defeats an enemy? Is there supposed to be some history behind that song that was left out of the worldbuilding? It just feels too meta.

Arbitrary localization of names. I don’t really grasp why it was necessary to rename so many items and characters for the English market. Some changes make sense for localization (e.g. Whack-a-Box certainly works better for an American audience than Crash Box), but others seem arbitrary, like changing Aniyan Kunyan to Andrea Rhodea or Mugi to Oates (a play on the meaning of his name in Japanese, but... does it matter?). And then… well, I don’t want to spoil A Major Plot Element, but there’s another thing that changes names from one English word (in the Japanese track) to a different English word. Why? No idea. It doesn’t affect gameplay, and it’s not really a problem, but listening to the Japanese track, I found it jarring to have the subtitles contradict what I was hearing.

Underutilized characters. While the whole gamut of original FFVII characters make appearances, several of them aren’t used to full effect, or aren’t used at all to advance the story. Rufus Shinra’s bossfight is a decent challenge, but while his character was vital to both the original FFVII and Advent Children, his presence in this game is little more than a cameo. His fight could be cut or swapped out with any other boss, and it would have zero effect on the plot. Similarly, while Hojo is a key player in the full story (which this game doesn’t cover, since it’s only a fraction of the original timeline), he’s largely wasted here, except as a means of extending play time by making you wander through corridors and fight a bunch of monsters for “research.” (I have no idea what his motivation is; you’d think he’d be more interested in recapturing Aerith or Cloud, but instead he just... opens an elevator and lets them leave? after they beat up some midbosses.) Reeve Tuesti actually has a solid presence in this game, but since he’s ONLY ever active as himself, there’s no explanation for the random Cait Sith cameo in one scene (players new to the franchise probably have no idea why a random cartoon cat showed up for a few seconds and was never mentioned again). Obviously the plot arcs have to change when the game is covering only a few days’ time in a much longer story, and the major players need to be introduced at some point if they’re going to feature in later games in the series, but from a narrative standpoint, there are an awful lot of superfluous characters doing things for no reason in this installment.

The bad:

THE PADDING. Dear goodness, there is so much padding to make this a standalone game instead of just the first chapter of a longer adventure. I got really, really sick of running literally from one end of the map to the other on side quests – and that’s me, an avowed trophy hunter who spends hours scouring dark corners for collectible items in other games, saying that. So much of this game felt like time fill that didn’t really advance the story. It’s also full of unnecessary new characters with improbable Squeenix hair, like Roche the super-annoying motorcycle SOLDIER (below), or Leslie, Don Corneo’s doorman who somehow merits his own backstory and side quest. (Though in fairness, every FFVII sequel has added superfluous characters, with Crisis Core possibly being the worst offender.) But it just felt really drawn-out and bloated for a game of this generation. If this game had been as compact and tightly-written as the other games I typically play, it probably only would have taken me 15 hours to beat instead of 50. (I don’t actually know how many hours I spent on it the first time through, as I didn’t check the play clock before restarting on Hard difficulty. I do know it took me over 110 hours total to complete the game on both modes, though much of the second run was spent dying repeatedly on a handful of nasty fights. Hard mode removes items and MP replenishment, and if you run out of MP at any point during a chapter, you’re going to die. A lot.)

The pacing. Related to the above... the Midgar portion of the original game was just the setup for a larger story. It wasn’t meant to have its own complete dramatic arc so much as to introduce you to the world and the major players. Consequently, there are some really odd beats in this story, as well as a total lack of urgency in your mission. There are no natural places to slot in the side quests and minigames, so they’re shoehorned awkwardly between plot sequences. “Quick, our friend is in mortal peril and needs our help!” "Okay, cool, we’ll go rescue her after we spend ten hours running around town doing random errands for townspeople and playing games with the local kids.” Uh... what?

The graphics just aren’t as good as they should be. While the character models are gorgeous, there are a lot of low-res background textures and weird polygons that don’t quite match up with other components. Most egregious are the Shinra logos, which frequently get close-ups as part of the fixed camera work and, frankly, look like lossy JPEGs. (See image below, screencapped from a PS4 Pro. Those jagged edges on the logo are present throughout the entire game.) There are weird clipping errors and artifacted images and reflective surfaces that don’t reflect, making the game look more like something from the PS3 era than a 4K late-gen PS4 game. (And it’s not that we don’t have the technology: Uncharted 4 was released back in 2016, and the rendering of its vast world was twice as pretty. Devil May Cry 5, released in early 2019, has far more realistic textures and object interaction. Granted, those are different types of games with fewer NPCs to render, but I feel like there’s no excuse for a game this big to look this mediocre.)

The HUD could be better. The lower-corners concept is okay, though it took me a while to train my eyes to travel between both sides of the screen and track the fight action. But for a long time, I didn’t even notice the commands in the upper left corner of the screen, and after playing through the game twice I still have no idea what they say because I couldn’t focus on the tiny text long enough to read them while trying not to die in combat. (I just looked it up; apparently they’re combat control shortcuts? Huh, that would have been useful to know.) It wasn’t until my second time through that I realized there even WERE separate controls on screen during the motorcycle minigames; I had resorted to panicked button mashing to figure it out the first time through because there was no tutorial (you’re just dropped into the action) and, having ignored the small text for the previous hundred combats, I had no reason to look for on-screen instructions there. Not that it would have helped, since on many backgrounds the text in the upper left is really difficult to read (see below). It’s worth noting that I have better than 20/20 vision and played this game on a large TV screen and still had trouble reading some things; on a smaller TV, or for someone with less acute vision (like my sister, who is blind in one eye), I think even the basic menu controls would be difficult to see. While you can resize the font for subtitles, my cursory glance through the menu did not uncover an option to increase the size of the HUD. 

Inter-fight menu mechanics. Specifically, the inability to save (or save loadout settings) between fights in a multi-part sequence. There are several back-to-back fights in which it is necessary to switch characters or change gear between bosses. The game treats them as one continuous fight, though it does allows you to access the equipment menu by holding square during key cutscenes. Which is good, if you only have one of a particular materia or accessory that you need to switch between characters, and in most cases when you die the game lets you restart just before your current fight instead of restarting the whole sequence -- also good, since some multi-stage bosses can easily take 20-30 minutes to beat, and if several of those are strung together in sequence, you’re in for a long play session to get past them. But since it’s treated as one fight, you can’t save between bosses (more than once, I had to leave my PS4 running in Rest Mode overnight and just hoped we didn’t have a power glitch), and if you happen to get killed and need to restart the fight, your loadouts reset. Which means if you’re, say, fighting the end boss on Hard difficulty and get killed in the first two minutes -- which happened to me a lot -- by the time you restart the fight, sit through the unskippable cutscene, access the menu and rearrange all the materia and accessories you need, you’re spending five or six minutes gearing up for two minutes of play, and then doing that over and over again every time you die. It gets really old.

The English dub script. *deep breath* Okay, look, I know I can be a bit elitist about translations, but I really do not like the English adaptation of this game. It makes Cloud come across as less socially-awkward and far more of a deliberate jerk, Aerith is mouthy and even swears (which is not accurate to her original character), and it downplays some of the symbolism that’s more obvious in the Japanese script. One quick example: When Aerith gives Cloud a flower, she says (in Japanese), “In the language of flowers, this means ‘reunion.’” It’s subbed/dubbed in English, “Lovers used to give these when they were reunited.” That’s a subtle difference, but since the concept of “reunion” is a freakin’ huge part of the FFVII plot, and since Sephiroth was on screen literally seconds before that line is delivered, my brain automatically went, “OMG REUNION!!!” while I’m guessing people listening in English only picked up on the romantic subtext. It’s a pretty minor thing, and of course translation is always a complex balancing act between literal meaning and local market understanding, but the English version just seemed to me to have a different vibe overall. (Unfortunately, the English subtitles are the same as the dub, so unless you can understand the Japanese audio you’re kind of stuck with that dialogue.)

-

-

[WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT]

-

- …And my #1 complaint about Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE is…

…it’s not actually a remake.

Sure, the game starts out the same way and covers a lot of the same events, but fundamentally, it’s a sequel, not a retelling. It’s evident from Cloud’s future-oriented visions throughout the game that something else is going on, and the ending MAKES NO SENSE if you don’t already know the story. Heck, even the rest of the game doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know the story -- Sephiroth’s presence is never explained; Zack isn’t even introduced, just shows up randomly at the end; Cloud’s flashbacks of Tifa and her dead father in Nibelheim are left as a complete mystery (and since she evidently remembers the burning of her town, judging by her dialogue outside Aerith’s house, why doesn’t she even react when Sephiroth shows up?).

The core elements of the plot – the Feelers (Whispers) preserving a specific fate; the three entities from the future (whose weapon types just happen to correspond to certain named characters) defending their timeline; the return of post-Advent Children Sephiroth (the only time we’ve seen him in human form with one black wing), who has inhabited the Lifestream since his death and promised that he would never truly disappear, who in the end appeals to Cloud directly for an alliance rather than attempting to control him, because he knows now that Cloud is strong enough to defy the Reunion instinct; the change in the outcome of story events in which Biggs (and, unconfirmed as to which timeline he’s actually in, but quite possibly Zack) now survives his intended death -- all point toward Sephiroth trying to manipulate destiny into an alternate outcome in which he is victorious, and using this naive version of Cloud to facilitate it. That means this game is taking place in an alternate or splinter universe, created at some point after the events of the original Final Fantasy VII, and possibly even after the events of Advent Children.

All of that is fine from an overall continuing-story perspective – it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities, like the fact that Aerith might survive now that Cloud has seen prescient flashes of her death (among other events), and there are opportunities for more story twists and changes from what players might expect. But touting this as a remake of the original game has the potential to confuse players who are new to the franchise. FFVII was groundbreaking back in 1997, and it defined JRPGs for an entire generation of Western gamers. But that was more than two decades ago, and a lot of current gamers weren’t even born then, so while they’ve probably heard of the classic game, they aren’t necessarily steeped in its lore. FFVII:R relies heavily on prior knowledge of the series to carry its twist ending, so it largely fails as a standalone game.

Also, speaking as a longtime fan of the franchise… I honestly found the ending rather lackluster. It was a twist, of sorts, but not the sort of shocking, mind-bending revelation that made the first game so iconic. Granted, it’s hard to follow an act like revealing that your protagonist’s entire identity is a lie, not to mention killing off one of your main characters a third of the way into the story! But when the surprise ending is just, Surprise! We’re going to change things up a bit this time around so you aren’t entirely sure what’s coming! Also, here’s a gratuitous Sephiroth fight because everyone expects that, even though it doesn’t serve the main story at all nor resolve any conflicts previously established within this game! it smacks of Different for the sake of Being Different, not for the sake of a really amazing storyline they’re hiding up their sleeve. It’s a bit of a let-down, and I find that I... just... don’t really care that much. Which, for someone who’s been a fan of the series for nearly a quarter of a century, means there’s a Big Freaking Problem somewhere. If you’re not keeping the attention of your die-hard fans, how do you hope to build a fanbase of players new to the franchise?

Given the pacing and story issues inherent in this game, I’m not convinced that the following game(s) in the franchise are going to be structured any better. Considering the amount of pure side-quest padding they did in Midgar, I have no idea how they’ll maintain that same tone on something the scale of the World Map portion of the original game, unless they just completely eliminate things like Fort Condor and the submarine and the spaceship side quests. I have a feeling the Gold Saucer is going to be reduced to a Jessie flashback, a Chocobo race (probably to win a key item), and a battle arena run like the coliseum in Wall Market in this game. If they include all the story elements and side characters from the original, this series is going to be a dozen games long.

Still, on the whole this game was enjoyable, and I’m glad I played it. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, but they haven’t completely killed off my interest, so I’ll probably continue with the series whenever the next game comes out. Though I’m not really sure if the higher-priced edition I pre-ordered was worth the extra money, so I may wait and see how the next game is shaping up before deciding which version to get...

But if they don’t give me a really pretty (playable) Vincent Valentine in the next installment, I may riot. I do have priorities.

[demifiendrsa]

The Walking Dead comic book series ends with issue #193.

Robert Kirkman’s letter to fans with spoilers for the final issue omitted:

"This is the end of The Walking Dead.

"That's it... it's over... we're done.

"I'm sure you have a million questions... and I'm sure you feel as emotional about this as we do... if not more so. I'm completely willing to bet some of you are angry over this. I get it... I do. I mean... WHY didn't we announce this so that fans would have some time to prepare?

"Well... personally... I hate knowing what's coming. As a fan, I hate it when I realize I'm in the third act of a movie and the story is winding down. I hate that I can count commercial breaks and know I’m nearing the end of a TV show. I hate that you can FEEL when you’re getting to the end of a book, or a graphic novel.

"Some of the BEST episodes of Game of Thrones are when they’re structured in such a way and paced to perfection so your brain can’t tell if it’s been watching for 15 minutes or 50 minutes... and when the end comes... you’re STUNNED.

"I love LONG movies for that very reason. You lose track of time because you went in convinced that you’re going to be there for a long time, but the story moves at such an entertaining and engaging pace that by the time the movie’s wrapping up... you can’t believe it’s already over. SURPRISE, it’s over!

"All I’ve ever done, all a creator can really do... is tailor-make stories to entertain themselves, and hope the audience feels the same way. That’s all I’ve ever been doing... and it seems to work most of the time.

"THE WALKING DEAD has always been built on surprise. Not knowing what’s going to happen when you turn the page, who’s going to die, how they’re going to die... it’s been ESSENTIAL to the success of this series. It’s been the lifeblood that’s been keeping it going all these years, keeping people engaged.

"It just felt WRONG and against the very nature of this series not to make the actual end as surprising as all the big deaths... from Shane all the way to Rick.

"To be honest... it seemed like a really good idea at the time, but now that we’re here and the series is over, I’m having second thoughts. Not so much so that I’m changing course... that would be kind of impossible to do anyway. But... it’s possible, as much as I hate to admit it, that I’m genuinely feeling a sense of regret over this whole crazy plan.

"I want you to see what went into this though, I want you to understand why, if that’s possible. I feel like you all deserve at least that. So let’s pull the curtain back in a way... well, I usually try not to do. When it comes to the end of this series... here’s how the sausage got made.

"Way back in early 2015, Charlie Adlard turned in the cover for issue #142. He had taken my direction, of showing happy people at the Alexandria fair, the booths, the commerce... a very civilized scene, and he’d worked wonders with the concept. It was a cover unlike anything that had come before. To me, it was a real turning point for this series.

"The thing is... this was over four years ago at this point... but I knew pretty much every big story point that was going to happen all the way up to this final issue. A couple years prior, around 2013 or so, I’d even told Charlie at San Diego Comic-Con what the gist of this final issue was. [...] I just didn’t know exactly what issue that story would fall in. I knew the end... but I didn’t know where it would fall. I figured... somewhere past issue #300. As I’ve said publicly... I’ve always wanted to reach that number, that big, round Cerebus number that all the insane indy comics creators try to chase.

"But when I saw the cover to #142... it dawned on me. 'Oh, s***... we’re already at the fair! The Commonwealth is just around the corner... and... oh, man... there’s no WAY I’m going to make it to issue #300.' It was the first time I realized that I just didn’t have enough story worked out to get there. I didn’t know exactly how long we’d fight the Whisperers or how long we’d be spending in the Commonwealth before Rick would bring about his own demise... but I knew the whole run wouldn’t be another 150 issues.

"I started working things out... trying to figure out how long things would run... and it dawned on me... I had about 50 issues until I got to my planned end. I always have to keep collections in mind. Now that we do 48-issue compendiums (that are very popular, our most popular format), it would be really irresponsible to wrap this series up in a way that resulted in compendium readers having to buy a different format to finish the series. So I was happy that it appeared things would work out where this series would wrap up nicely in the fourth compendium.

"But I wasn’t quite sure it was time to wrap things up.

"I love writing this series. It’s been my life’s dream. So when I first came to this realization... my first instinct was, 'Well, I just need to come up with more story'. I even spent a few weeks trying to come up with new plot, new story detours to push the ending I had in mind back and keep things going... for a while, possibly even a long while... an extra compendium, maybe two.

"And... again, pulling the curtain back... this has happened before. I’d already abandoned one planned ending to keep the series going. Yep... that’s an exclusive I’ve never revealed anywhere.

"Let’s go off on a tangent for a moment. When the story got to Alexandria in issue #72, things were going to go pretty much as they did; Rick and his crew were going to have trouble fitting in because of everything they’d been through. That would lead to conflict within Alexandria, and it would eventually lead to Rick taking over. The big storyline NO WAY OUT ended with Rick proclaiming that Alexandria was a place worth fighting for, that they could no longer keep moving from place to place... they had to take a stand, lay down roots and start building from there. Their nomad days were behind them.

"Well, for years... that had been planned to be... the end. Rick would make his proclamation, and the speech would end with a big close-up on Rick’s face, you’d turn the page, and Rick’s face would be the same, only it was a statue... and you’d zoom out and see the full statue with some vines growing on the bottom of it... cracks forming... and you’d realize that it was quite OLD.

"We’d keep zooming out until we saw that the statue was in Alexandria, the same place where he gave the speech, but it was different. It was old and rundown, broken windows and missing doors. We would keep zooming out until a zombie walked by, then another... and we’d see that Rick had brought them to Alexandria, given this grand speech about rebuilding civilization and SUCCEEDED to the point that they built a statue to honor him... but in the end, the dead won, society crumbled again, this time seemingly for good... and that was it.

"It was a TERRIBLE ending. Bleak, sad... made the whole story pointless. What can I say... I was young and most of the endings I wrote or came up with way back then... were pretty bleak. So that ending... in hindsight was embarrassingly bad, but more than that, I wasn’t ready to end this series. Not by a long shot.

"You have to understand, when I started writing this series, I had no clue I’d make it to issue #12. So the thought of having a book that ran 100 issues was insane. So when this book really took off in its second year, I was able to make far reaching plans for the future, but even at that point, a 100-issue run still seemed impossible.

"So when I found myself staring down the barrel of a completed 100-issue series, I just wasn’t ready to let go. I was having too much fun. Think about how things would have gone if I’d wrapped things up then... no Negan, no Ezekiel, no All Out War, no time jump, no Magna, no Whisperers, no Commonwealth, no Princess... and a really crummy ending to boot.

"To top it off... shortly after I scrapped that planned ending and decided to keep going, I came up with pretty much the exact ending of this issue, which I felt was much more fitting and rewarding.

"I’m glad I made the decision I did back then. I have no regrets.

"This time though, things were very different. As I worked to come up with ways to expand the story, none of it felt right. Everything felt like an unnecessary detour... it was, for lack of a better word, filler. The harder I tried to come up with new places to go, the clearer it was to me that this is what this story needed... it needed to end.

"So like I said... it seemed like a good idea at the time. FOUR YEARS ago this plan seemed rock solid. Never tell anyone, keep it secret, and even go as far as soliciting fake issues that will never exist so that we can really surprise people. Oh, man... I thought this was going to be great.

"I worked it out with Charlie right away. He’d always been pushing to end on a high note. He was with me, all the way, as long as I didn’t run this series into the ground. Charlie just wanted to make this book special. If I had a solid plan for 300 issues, he’d have made it happen, but if I started turning in stories Charlie thought were lame... I would have heard about it and he’d have convinced me to end the series. So when we talked about the plan, Charlie was excited, his fear of us overstaying our welcome and keeping this book going well past its popularity were quelled.

"I’ll say it again, I love (loved... oh, god, I’m not ready for past tense) writing this series. I really don’t want it to end. In fact, I’ve been... kind of unsettled since I wrote the script for this issue. The whole thing just feels... weird.

"In a way, killing this series has been a lot like killing a major character. Much, much harder... but the same feeling. I don’t WANT to do it. I’d rather keep going... but the story is telling me what it wants and what it needs. This needs to happen. Whether I want it or not.

"It just feels right... while also feeling... terrible.

"The main point of all this is... well, I’m scared. Most of my professional life has been spent on this series. Countless hours are dedicated to this, month in and month out. More than anything in the last 16 years... this is going to fundamentally change my life. So I’m terrified.

"When my fingers typed out “THE END” on the keyboard as I finished this script... I thought I’d feel relief, or some sliver of pride in a job well done, but it was really just... dread. I wasn’t ready for it to be over... but it was.

"It is.

"Oddly, as unsure as I feel about ending the story, I feel confident in how I ended it. [...]

"I hope it makes you happy, too. Even if you’re upset at not getting to spend time in this world anymore.

"I’m upset, too. I’m going to miss it as much as you will, if not more so. It breaks my heart that I had to end it, and we have to move on... but I just love this world too much to stretch things out until it doesn’t live up to what I want it to be.

"I hope you understand.

"I hope you, dear reader, know how much I appreciate the gift you have given me. I got to tell my story exactly how I wanted to, for 193 issues, and end it on my terms, with no interference at all along the way... at any point. That’s such a rare thing, and it doesn’t exist without the unyielding support this series got from readers like you. Thank you so much.

"Thank you, Tony Moore, for drawing the first six issues. Thank you, Cliff Rathburn, for countless hours spent shaping black and white art with gray tones. Thank you, Rus Wooton, for turning my words into art month after month. Thank you, Stefano Gaudiano, for shaping Charlie’s pencils for nearly 100 issues. Thank you, Aubrey Sitterson and Sina Grace, for your time keeping this insanity in check. Thank you, Sean Mackiewicz, for seeing this project all the way to the end, despite thinking each compendium would be your last... and, y’know, doing a great job along the way. Thank you, Arielle Basich, for keeping Sean sane and doing the heavy lifting. Thank you, Andres Juarez, for keeping this book looking fresh after being on the shelf for over a decade. Thank you, Carina Taylor, for doing your part to do the same. Thank you, Dave Stewart, for making Charlie’s art pop on comic shelves the world over. Thank you, Dave McCaig, for you know what. Thank you, Ryan Ottley, for that amazing art in issue #75 that may never get collected. Thank you, Cory Walker, for your wise council before I even started this series. Thank you, Jim Valentino, for so many things, including saying, “Change the title so you can own it.” Thank you, Shawn Kirkham, for always having an ear to the ground for what this world needs. Thank you to the team at Skybound, who work tirelessly to bring you everything THE WALKING DEAD you could ever want and more. Thank you, Erik Larsen, for the undying support, even to this day. Thank you, Eric Stephenson, for the years of strategy sessions that made this series a continued success. Thank you to the evolving staff at Image Comics that was invaluable over the last decade and a half... especially the accounting department. Thank you, David Alpert, for your part in turning this into a truly worldwide, multimedia phenomenon, and all that came with it and somehow so much more than that. Thank you, Shep Rosenman and Lee Rosenbaum, for crossing the Ts and dotting the Is so I can keep all my Ts and not lose my Is. Thank you, Chris Simonian, for going to war and winning. Thank you, Allen Grodsky, for going to war and winning. Thank you, John Campisi and the team at CAA, for continuing the fight. Thank you, Frank Darabont, for going into House of Secrets in Burbank and saying, 'This one.' Thank you, Gale Anne Hurd, for helping turn “this one” into something real. Thank you, Charles H. Eglee, for being the original showrunner and setting us up for success. Thank you, Jack LoGiudice, for making me feel welcome in the writer’s room on day one... by being mean to me in the most entertaining ways. Thank you, Glen Mazzara, for keeping the fire warm. Thank you, Scott Gimple, for taking the show to new heights and for caring enough to say, 'No spoilers, dear God, no more spoilers.' Thank you, Angela Kang, for the future and beyond. Thank you, Greg Nicotero, for making the zombies (er, walkers) REAL. Thank you, Chris Hardwick, for telling the world every week that there’s a comic book worth checking out. Thank you to the ten thousand people who work on the now FOUR TV shows based on THE WALKING DEAD for pouring their hearts into this and loving this world as much if not more than I do.

"But most of all, thank you, Charlie Adlard, for sitting at the table, day in and day out, and devoting more hours to THE WALKING DEAD than anyone. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. It’s been a dream come true to get to shape this world together, with you. This never would have happened without you. I can’t believe we made it all the way to the end, my friend.

"Oh my god... I can’t believe it’s really over."

-Robert Kirkman"

[snicketsleuth]

Slackin’ with the Sleuth: reviewing Netflix’s “The End”

There were many goodbyes, and there were many beginnings.

“The End” is perhaps the strangest and most controversial episode to date. It’s difficult to assess the actual quality of the episode as we are constantly reminded of all the ones which preceded it.

At the risk of sounding like a fool rather than a prophet, it’s possible that Netflix’s version of “A Series of Unfortunate Events” will go down in the history of adaptations. We’ve never had quite a literary retranscription like this one: no one has dared to go as deep into the source material, its themes, its inspirations, since, perhaps, Peter Jackson’s recreation of “The Lord of the rings”. The amount of mindwork necessary to make the imagination of the original author fit the screen is absolutely comparable. Let’s wrap up the series after the cut.

Let’s get the elephant out of the room: why would you give the longest book in the series less screentime than the others? The only other example which comes to mind is David Yates’ attempt at adapting “The Order of the Phoenix”, an achievement in shoppy editing, lighting mistakes, script derailment and overall cinematographic incompetence. That is not a strong pitch. Worse of all is the fact that the idea apparently came from Daniel Handler himself! In his words, “The Penultimate Peril” is the real ending while “The End” serves as more of a coda. Even though the ending, by classical tradition, is only supposed to come after the denouement. It’s right in the name of the hotel, for crying out loud. As moving as the montage to “There’s no happy endings, not here, not now” is, its inclusion could have worked just as well in the final episode. In fact, it already worked as the conclusion of the first season!

The reasoning behind this choice is quite skewed, because "A Series of Unfortunate Events" already had a coda: it's called "Chapter Fourteenth". It's short, it's sweet, it's symbolic, it serves as a moral compass for the entire series. It's the only epilogue the series deserves. On the surface, of course, the decision to fusion "The End" with "Chapter Fourteenth" is perfectly reasonable; even the fans don't know whether to classify "Chapter Fourteenth" as a chapter of "The End" or as a fourteenth book which just happens to be published in the same volume as "The End". It's also doubtful that Netflix would allow the showrunners to release a 10-minutes episode as a conclusion. We get it. But somehow, the show writers have convinced themselves that fusioning the last act of the story and its coda turns the entire final act into a coda, and... that's simply not how narration works. There's simply too much going on in that book in terms of plot, character development and themes to adapt it in less than an hour without something missing.

There may be several reasons behind this change. One might be a personal dislike for that particular book, a reluctance to certain chapters of it, a desire to get it over with as soon as possible. But it's unlikely given that the screenwriters adapted the story rather faithfully (the deaths of Kit and Olaf, in particular, are pretty much verbatim) in spite of the time limits. We personnally believe that budget may have had something to do with it: "The End" was always supposed to be filmed last, at a time where budget may be scarce. Recreating the illusion of many exterior shots when the series is filmed mostly on soundstages can't have been cheap, and most of "The End" happens on the outside, in a tropical location. So condensing the book could work as an excuse to cut corners when it comes to money: less screentime, less sets to build. What makes it believable is the fact that "The Penultimate Peril" was officially the most expensive episode to film because of the large crowds and the many returning cast members. Prior to the season, screenwriters had sold this format to the fans as a "mega-episode", which would be longer than the others. But in reality Netflix"s version of "The End" lasts 52 minutes, while the first part of "The Penultimate Peril" stands at a whooping 55! Unless official sources deny it, there's a strong possibility that the showrunners had originally planned a hour-and-a-half episode and had no choice but to "trim the fat" as buget ran out. As we explained in our review of "The Slippery Slope", production of Season 3 was more troubled than we were led to believe, and the final episode could be its greatest casualty yet.

So what did we lose exactly? Well, namely plot elements which drive home the most important themes of the book. The island of "The End" presents the fantasy of an utopia: an opportunity to flee society and regular contact with other human beings, as well as all your problems. But as the history of the island unfolds, we see that this utopia is impossible, nefarious, even. Society inevitably recreates itself, and schisms occur. Beatrice and Bertrand tried to turn the island into a force for good in the world, but that scared the refugees who only wished to be left in peace, away from the rest of humanity. So the Baudelaire parents, who had worked so hard for the happiness of the islanders, had to be banished. And there lies the contraduction: in their effort to flee from oppression, the islanders had to resort to exclusion themselves. The Baudelaire parents tried to break the schism only to create another. And the worst part of all that is that it didn't even work. In their desperate efforts to disengage from the world, the islanders installed Ishamel as a tyrant... only for a second schism to occur when he killed them all as he started to lose power. And even before that, islanders had started another schism by aligning themselves with Olaf and freeing him from his cage. The island is not an utopia, it is just a microcosm of the world at large and a poetic recreation of VFD's tragic history. A failed experiment which only reinforces the issues it tried to solve. And that's the real reason the Baudelaire orphans decided to leave the island at the end of "Chapter Fourteenth": they know that safety and neutrality are an illusion. Had they stayed there, chaos, dissession and conflicts would have occured eventually. Accepting our inability to control things is all part of growing up.

Therefore, the question is: did Netflix's version of "The End" manage to convey that philosophical discussion? Not really. There's simply too much going on in these 52 minutes for anyone to stop and think for a moment about the moral consequences or thematical implications of staying on the island or leaving it. What we get on a screen is a mostly plot-focused adventure where characters do the things they do in the heat of the moment, because they're forced to react to other brisk events. It's not badly written, as their decisions make sense, but it's undeniably a lesser product than the original. A story of this quality needed some room to breathe and explore its symbolism.

Then again, there is another point of adaptation where Netflix's version is actually superior to the books. You see, alongside "The End", a supplementary material called "The Beatrice letters" was released, detailing the actual ending of the Baudelaires' story. It focuses on Lemony, years after the events of "The End" and now famous for writing the books, being chased by a mysterious "Beatrice". He eventually realizes that this Beatrice is actually his niece, who was raised by the Baudelaire orphans, and who is tracking them down once again. This fundamentally changes the ending of the series as 1) Beatrice's survival strongly implies that the Baudelaire orphans are alive too, 2) Lemony, after losing so much of his friends and family members, once again has someone to care for. This is in stark contrast with Lemony's depressing "rock fall, everyone dies" conclusion to "The End". Most readers will never read "The Beatrice letters" or even know it exists, which is infuriating as it contains the "real" ending of the books, one that the author very much intended. So one has to applaud the screenwriters' decision to end the series with the reunion of Beatrice and Lemony. They had obtained a deal to adapt "A Series of Unfortunate Events", not "The Beatrice Letters": they were under no contractual obligation to do so, but we're glad they did. It prevents the series from devolving into mere nihilism, and instead proposes something more interesting.

But more impressing is this episode showing how the TV series has truly come into its own in two aspects. The first one is the aesthetic, as the overly-saturated scenery engulfs the actor. The show has always dismissed realism as a passing craze, but this is the most extreme example of how cartoony the world of Lemony Snicket would look: it’s so fake, it’s real. As the island is a pretty good allegory of purgatory, it makes sense that the story would take place in a completely surreal atmosphere. The care taken to the production design remains, in our humble opinion and careful hypothesis, the real reason “The End” was cut so short, but that money is well-spent. As your eyes get used to the CGI, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish what’s real and what’s not. However even this exploit has its limits: the arboretum is a far cry from the biblical majesty of the scene as depicted in the books, but it will have to do.

The second aspect where marked improvements are to be mentioned is the acting, mostly that of Louis Hynes and Malina Weissman. We were lucky enough that they were decent at all in season 1 (casting child actors is a pretty hit-or-miss line of work), but as of season 3 they really stand head and shoulders with the rest of the cast. They deliver the right emotion in every single emotional scene, in spite of the challenge. Klaus and Violet have come alive. Their recollection of their own tragic existences in the trial scene of “The Penultimate Peril” is particularly impressive.

But the real standout of “The End”, of course, remains the death scene of Kit and Olaf. For a moment, everything goes quiet and we forget that we are watching an adaptation. It was perfect in the books and it’s perfect here, to the letter, although letting Olaf look intently into the Baudelaire orphans’ eyes as he mutters his last verse is a welcome and tasteful addition. We were all wary of the way the showrunners were going to adapt the end of “The End”: the Netflix series has taken a comedic approach and this is the least comedic scene imaginable. It should have been a monumental failure, but judging by everyone’s reaction, it seems to have worked. So bravo to the production team for having the nerve to take a risk and deliver the tragedy of it all in spite of tonal dissonances with the rest of the show. Hard work pays off.

So is this the adaptation of our hopes and dreams? Of course it’s not. But is it the best possible story we could have hoped for in the Hollywood system? No, it’s much better than that. There’s something particular about the age of streaming television which somehow allowed this adaptation to happen. We hope it’s no a fluke, and we hope the success of Netflix’s homage to “A Series of Unfortunate Events” will give inspiration to many other creators. It’s a teachable moment on how to nail down the emotion and message of an original work. And that’s perhaps why the end of the TV series is a tad more hopeful than its book version: because its showrunners were happy, so happy they could complete this project the way they had intended, in spite of impossible things. So of course they put a few less deaths into the conclusion of the overall story. Happy people write the most frightening horror stories, and, in spite of its reputation, horror loves a happy ending. After all, the publication of the books was an anomaly, a miracle in and of itself. Daniel Handler has confessed many times that he’s still dumbfounded at their success.

So for now on, and in spite of our many gripes and nitpicks, let’s be grateful. There are so many fans of other works out there who have it worse than us, guys! But not us. We had the books, we have the show, and we will have each other. At long last... we’re the fortunate ones.