#someday I'll learn how to sew and it will be the end

[girlcavalcanti]

when I tell you that I NEED a three piece suit

[radishhqueen]

so my project over the summer was making a hard copy of my rottmnt april-centric fic, how to get very good at juggling! shameless plug, it occupies a very special place in my heart.

and a video flip through <3 yes it's a bad video but this has been rotting in my drafts I need it out

step by step-ish process pics under the cut! + a link to the tutorial i used.

I largely used this tutorial by Sea Lemon for the actual construction of the book. For the text block, I just copied it into a word document, formatted it to my liking, and printed it out in 24 page signatures. (This makes it sound easier than it was. I trial and error-ed this step so hard, since all the tutorials I saw were for blank notebooks, and not text. If there's demand for a step-by-step on how to do this process with god's jankiest printer, lmk and i'll write it out)

In the end, I had a bunch of signatures that looked similar to this image below. i actually reprinted them (for the third time) after i took this picture bc some pages disappeared and i took the opportunity to center the page numbers. someday i'll learn how to get them on alternating corners.

...that i then sewed and glued into a text block! (ft. my cat)

because i was using a public printer, and also because i couldn't figure out how to adjust the margins, i had to do some trimming to make the margins more normal. you can kinda see in the image above that the top margin is like. two inches. (i'm currently in the process on typesetting another fic, i'm gonna figure out the margins this time i swear)

once i trimmed it (very slowly, with an exacto blade) (god i wish i had a paper guillotine), i sewed on some paper headbands and an extra piece of support cardstock (not pictured, whoops), and then it was finally time to start the cover!

okay, admission. when i started this project, my intention was to do a vinyl cover, do the title in stickers, and be done with it. unfortunately the sticky backing of vinyl? very sticky. not easy to adjust things when you have shaky hands and can't get the cover pieces immediately lined up. so i quickly burned through the whole roll of vinyl i had, which meant it was time for plan B, fabric.

also unfortunately, my local chain craft store never fails to let me down, and the only green fabric they had was god's brightest shade of green. regardless, we persevere.

because of who i am as a person, i know how to embroider! more or less! so that meant instead of futzing around with fabric markers and attempting to make a passable cover that way, i just decided to embroider a cover.

first came the mock up

and then i got started with the embroidery! i measured out the dimensions of the cover on the back of the fabric, and made a grid for where i wanted all my pieces to go

once the cover was finally done, i glued and assembled it a la Sea Lemon's tutorial. and!! now i have a book!!

[littledigest]

Pluto conjunct natal Mercury-Uranus-Neptune

Pluto has been transiting my natal Mercury, Uranus, and Neptune since 2020. As of 2023, it is moving away from natal Neptune and towards natal Uranus and Mercury.

Neptune in Capricorn 26 degrees in 5th house [natal]

Uranus in Aquarius 2 degrees in 6th house [natal]

Mercury in Aquarius 3 degrees in 6th house[natal]

When Pluto was close to my Neptune, I happened to start or end a creative endeavor. Or, something about the event was Neptunian/Piscean in nature.

Going into 2023, there is a shift from Neptunian events to more Uranian and Mercurial ones.

Notice that until 2023, the events are creativity (Neptune) and hobby (5th house) related. Starting from 2023, my Mercury-Uranus in 6th house conjunction is getting more attention. My sudden job change and the nature of that job are examples of this.

LIST OF EVENTS WHEN PLUTO TRANSITED NATAL MERCURY-URANUS-NEPTUNE:

2020

5/12/20 - First day of working out regularly by following YouTube videos. I was working out every day for almost 2 hours. I had NEVER worked out before this. For several months after, I was obsessed with working out; it was therapeutic to me.

6/6/20 - First day of UX/UI design online course

2021

3/23/21 - I made a journal entry this day that I was seriously thinking of going into animation and coding.

6/6/21 - Last day of UX/UI design online course

6/7/21 - The day after, I started my first day of 3D animation class. Pluto is EXACTLY conjunct my natal Neptune on this day.

6/23/21 - I attempted a no-fish-and-seafood diet ❌🐟🦀❌ after watching a documentary about our negative impact on the ecosystem due to overfishing and overconsumption of fish/seafood. Failed, but I really tried.

2022

3/16/22 - Hit with a major internal crisis. Issues from the past came back, and I didn't know where I was headed in life. Felt very uncertain about what I was doing in life.

3/29/22 - Last day of 3D animation class.

6/20/22 - The day I started my Tumblr blog littledigest. Pluto was also opposite natal asteroid Educatio (2440); seems appropriate as I am giving my experiences and take on astrology through this blog.

7/10/22 - The day I reached 100 followers on Tumblr

8/7/22 - I visited a local psychic fair with my mom and sister. 🔮 We've never gone out of our way to go to anything like this before.

10/3/22 - I learned how to use a sewing machine. Making clothes was something that I had been DREAMING about for so long. Did I continue? No, but I'm sure I'll go back to it someday.

11/22/22 - Introduced to a job position that seemed completely out of my league. I wasn't even job searching, but this landed on my lap out of nowhere. Had nothing to do with the job I was doing at the time.

12/12/22 - I got a call back that I got the job. Found out I will be earning a lot more than in my previous job 🤑. Pluto was also square natal asteroid Destinn (6583). Don't know if this job is my DESTINY, but interesting...Maybe I'm on the right path?

2023

1/6/23 - Last day of old job; got a new haircut in the city after work. 💇‍♀️ Realized this was the first time I went to get a haircut on my own IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Prob not significant to you, but it was bonkers to me. How have I never gotten a haircut on my own before?

1/9/23 - First day of my new job. Transit Uranus is conjunct my natal midheaven too. I'm no longer 100% remote; I have to go into the office; my whole routine has changed. This new job of mine is an admin position but for a technology department. [Uranian]

2/8/23 - Met with superior. Afterward, manager tells me superior wants me to work with them on data work. My work becomes less about admin duties. [Mercurial/Uranian]

2/18/23 - Played a gambling card game with my family for the first time and won. Pluto also square natal asteroid Las Vegas (82332). Not Vegas but won some money 💵. [Neptunian/Uranian]

2/26/23 - started this Long Game project on littledigest. Pluto also inconjunct natal asteroid Discovery (9770). I hope this project uncovers something special! [Mercurial/Uranian/Neptunian]

More to come as time goes on

This post is part of a larger study based solely on my personal experiences with Planetary Transits and Returns.

[niennawept]

get to know me

tagged by my lovely friend @dwarveslikeshinythings <3; Sorry for the delay - I'm still catching up on my tag games.

PART ONE

are you named after anyone? Yes. I am named after a character in movie, but not because my parents liked either the character or the actress (they hated both). I'm named after this character because they wanted to be like her parents. Needless to say, I am not fond of my name.

when was the last time you cried?: genuinely don't remember, but it was probably either a) writing because sometimes I get overwhelmed by character's emotions or b) something reminded me fiercely of my late father and I just lost it for a minute.

do you have kids?:  Not unless you count dogs. I have two shelter pups.

do you use sarcasm a lot?: Mostly when asked to do something very simple. I will sarcastically refuse whilst doing the thing.

what’s the first thing you notice about people?: Vibes. I have a very vibes-based nervous system (thanks trauma).

what’s your eye colour?: This is complicated. I have central heterochromia, which means my eyes are two different colors within the same iris. So brown on the inside, mossy green on the outside, but you can't tell unless you get close so I say hazel even though it's not technically correct.

scary movies or happy endings?: Scary movies. I typically fall asleep with one on. After you've seen it a hundred times, even the sounds of screaming can become their own kind of comforting because it's always the same.

any special talents?: I don't know what to put here. I have a lot of hobbies, but I'm not sure I'd say I'm particularly talented at any of them. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot inside my mouth? Does that count as a talent?

where were you born?: The United States.

what are your hobbies?: Oh geez, uh. Sewing, cosplay, writing, baking, drawing, reading, singing, playing the ukulele, video games, DnD and other tabletop games, mead making, crocheting, gardening, painting, ... I think that's it. But I'm thinking of picking up book binding and tambour embroidery for elf reasons.

have any pets?: see above answer about kids. 

what sports do you play/have played?: Played basketball for years, not because I was good, but because I was tall for my age, but I stopped once the other kids caught up in height. I really loved track in Middle School, and I was a pretty strong sprinter, but I gave it up in HS to focus on my schoolwork.

how tall are you?: Five foot seven. I'm actually the shortest of all my cousins, lol.

favourite subject in school?: It changed a lot depending on my interest in what we were learning about. I have an abiding love of science and history. I'm also partial to poetry, despite being beyond awful at making it.

dream job?: living in the Star Trek future with a universal basic income, lol. People in Star Trek just do what they want to do for work and it all seems to work out fine.

PART TWO

first ship: I've mentioned this before and I'll mention it again probably but Kagome x Sesshomaru from Inuyasha (SessKag). Can't help it, my 14 year old brain latched on REALLY hard.

three ships: Been reading some Bagginshield lately and that's growing on me. Adar x Palariel (my OFC, super normal about this one, lol). Been thinking some Galadriel x Luthien (pre-Beren) thoughts lately - might heck around and write a one-shot someday. Can you tell I'm only thinking about Tolkien things these days?

last (current) song: "The Devil is a Gentleman" by Merci Raines.

last movie: House on Haunted Hill (1958) with Vincent Price. Featuring my favorite line from any movie: "Darling, the only ghoul in the house is you."

currently reading: I am listening to "Oathbringer" by Brandon Sanderson in audiobook form, reading "The Haunting of Hill House" by Shirley Jackson, "The Fall of Numenor" and "The Fall of Gondolin" (thanks people who voted in the poll) in physical form, and reading an epic-length Bagginshield fanfic digitally.

currently watching: uh... I'm partway through season two of Succession. And I watched the first episode of Picard, season three. I'm very bad at watching television lately. It requires too much energy.

currently consuming: orange spice tea, no sugar.

currently craving: I don't really have cravings very often. So nothing?

tagging: @somebirdortheother, @lady-of-imladris, @coraleethroughthelookingglass and anyone to whom this looks fun!

[imfuckingdepressedman]

Yeah ok this is going to get 2 notes tops but I had a fucking year. I continued working nights in a medical warehouse during this never ending pandemic, it was bad, I had a long commute, the hours were killing me, it was one one the most unsafe places I ever worked and I was convinced I was going to die because I'd fall asleep at the wheel on my way home. I didn't even care anymore, no matter where I looked the only people who weren't miserable were the ones born lucky enough not to have to take jobs like mine. Then I crushed my hand under a pallet while loading a truck. It was easily one of the top 3 most painful things I've experienced so far, I lifted the pallet off with my other hand and because I couldn't use my machine (which I later learned couldn't anyway because the pallet also smashed the controls) I walked back to the shipping office holding my hand above my head because that's all I knew how to do. I stood in the door of my manager's office until he got off the phone because I didn't want to interrupt his call and wasn't thinking 100% clearly. He asked what happened and I said Hospital. Hospital Now. He walked me to the front office, stopped to get another person to finish the truck and asked me how much was left. Got to the office sat me down and left me to go look for someone to drive me to the urgent care. I finally started crying. The only thing I have ever liked about my physical appearance was my hands. My hobbies were sewing and video games and that was about it. At this point I was convinced I had broken all my fingers. I'd have to drive home, my car was here, who'd come get me? Nobody. Eventually they came back and I got to the urgent care, they asked me to fill out paperwork I told them I couldn't. I sat for hours waiting for an xray, someone had lacerated their hand at a different warehouse earlier than me and I had to wait my turn. 12 stitches, no broken bones (not kicked out of the subreddit) and they wouldn't prescribe me anything for the pain. I had to go back to the warehouse and dictate for someone to fill out an accident report, I was just relieved I was getting paid for the whole day. I drove myself to a pharmacy to pick up my antibiotics and drove an hour home. Cried when I couldn't get the door open while carrying the bag.

Ultimately, this experience was the most important thing to happen to me this year. It reminded me that getting killed in a warehouse accident is not the worst case scenario, losing the few things I enjoyed in life and still having to keep living is. At this point I have nearly full function of my hand back and it doesn't impair my day to day life at all. The scars aren't too noticeable and don't bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. But most importantly, I quit my job with nothing concrete lined up to replace it. I got a temporary job at a factory which was also bad but then, I finally got the job I had gone to college for but kept getting passed over for in favor of people with experience. I got a simple desk job as accounts payable coordinator. A monotonous job that pays the same as the factory job had. And its the best job I've ever had. It has heat in the winter and air in the summer, we get an unpaid full hour for lunch and instead of forcing us to come to work no matter the road conditions we work from home on snowy days. No mandatory overtime wasn't a lie for the first time in my life. They don't time me for every minute on the clock and give me numbers to hit. I leave work and my body isn't in pain. I drive home without fear I'll fall asleep at the wheel. Nobody has yelled at me even once.

I saw a post saying, someday you'll have a home as comfortable and as beautiful as mine and I stopped. Because for the past five years I could only conceive of things getting worse and I'd been constantly and consistently proven right. Until now. Half a decade of abject misery is over. Even though it feels like a horrible act of hubris and tempting fate to say even now.

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.” ― Vincent van Gogh

[oh-roman]

the bride's maid

I.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Tomorrow's the day; you know--that day.

Ashley, Y/N's best friend since college, is finally tying the knot and guess who she honored to be her bridesmaid?

The girl who ripped her dress the night before the wedding--that's who.

It was an honest mistake. Here her out--she's only tried on the dress once and granted, it was in the bridal store, so she hasn't really been able to see exactly how it'll fit when she walks and moves in it. So, like you may have assumed, she thought she'd slip on the fabric at least once before the wedding.

Except, maybe it wasn't a great idea to have wine before doing so, because just a few spins in (dancing barefoot in her living room, to a song she's never heard) she lifts her arm to do a little move and even over the blaring music, she heard it--the devastatingly small rip sound. And it's like she couldn't breath for a second--not knowing if the wine was making her loopy or if she had just done the unspeakable.

So, in an act to quickly figure out what to, she freaks out a little and waves her hands around like a little girl and -- "Shit," she hisses, "Oh my god," she cries, feeling tears forming at the brim of her eyes. The wine's made a small puddle on the hardwood and a few red splatters are on the hem of the dress and Christ, she's far too drunk to think straight, except to maybe take it to the tailor who got her fitted in the first place. Rosanne, she thinks her name is?

Now, Y/N behind the wheel of a car, going 50mph on a rainy boulevard at 11pm, clad in a grey evening gown ... is not the most ideal situation. Then again, she's got no other options, but to pray that this lady can fix the mess Y/N's made. She parks her car so illegally and nearly trips, skipping over to the store front. It's got prom dresses all lined up in the window and thank god, the lights are on inside. Y/N takes a long exhale once she's inside--feels like she's just ran a mile.

"Oh," He pauses in his tracks and Y/N's heart does a little skip. "I'm sorry, we're closed -- my boss must have forgot to lock up," He says, pushing his glasses up his nose when they're slipping.

He's got a tape measurer in one hand and a bunch of laced fabrics in the other like he's got quite a bit of work to do, but instead he's eyeing Y/N up and down--feeling bad about her inconvenience but also recognizing the dress from somewhere. "Oh I-," Y/N starts, twirling around and hesitating whether or not she should leave. "I just," she sighs. "I got wine on my dress and I was just wondering if I could get that fixed," It's basically a cry out for help and he purses his lips to the side, before smiling sweetly.

"No need to cry," He says, fixing his glasses again. "Come on over--I'll take a look,"

She sniffles a bit and stumbles toward him. "Thank you so much," she mumbles. He gestures for her to take a seat on a stool, before scurrying off and coming back with a small cup of water. "You should probably drink this,"

"I am not that drunk," she says, waving the cup around and splashing a little on his pants. Both of their eyes dart toward his pants, then their eyes. And within seconds, they're both in a fit of laughter. "Mhm," he hums. "Sure you aren't,"

"Now let's see what I can do about this," He says, squinting his eyes in a thinking face. Kneeling down to the ground, he takes some of the fabric between his fingers and feels it bit, laughing to himself a little. A wine spill and rip all in one night ... definitely a story to take home. "Alright," He exhales, before lifting the fabric a bit, his hand slightly brushing up against her bare leg, before she kicks him a bit.

"Woah, woah, woah," Y/N warns, wagging a finger at him. "I don't even know your name," And he's confused for a bit, until he look back down at his hand and smiles a little. She's cute, he thinks. So, he stands back up and extends his hand toward her. "My apologies," he says. "Bill," She licks her lips and realizes just how tall he is. "My name's Bill Skarsgard, and you?"

"Y/N," is all she says, before lazily shaking his hand. "Skarsgård," She repeats under her breath. "Is that Russian ... are you a spy?"

Bill begins laughing. So hard, his chest is heaving until he sees her face in all seriousness and he remembers she's still under the influence. "Oh," Bill clears his throat. "No, it's Swedish babe," She sighs in relief and he just can't stand how cute she is.

"Now," he claps his hands. "What do you say we get you out this dress, and into something comfy while I work my magic,"

Y/N only nods and he smiles again, taking her by the hand and leading her to a changing room. He gives her a long t-shirt dress to change into, as well as some socks, because it's a dress shop and they don't just have jeans lying around. It takes her a while to change and Bill silently wonders if he should go help her, because he knows she's probably struggling to untie the back. "No," he thinks. It would be inappropriate, of course. 'Helping a drunk girl undo her dress' it's a proper news title behind a prison sentence, is what it is.

Then, his ears perk up like a puppy when he hears little footsteps. She's got the dress draped over her forearm, with the ends of it, dragging against the floor. Bill quickly stands up to grab the dress from her, not wanting it to get any dirtier. "You can come take a seat," and she spins around to sit on the stool next to him.

He's decided to add an entirely new trim to the dress, to cover up the rip, as well as the wine staining. Tucking a pie of the measuring tape between his teeth, he sits on his stool, with the dress in front of him, draping off a mannequin. His doing a bit of hand sewing on the rip first--gracefully pulling the string in and out, in and out, in and out. "Where'd you learn that," Y/N asks, resting her elbow on one knee with her face in the palm of her hand.

"My mother," he relplies. "I'm sure you could learn too someday," He says, darting his eyes toward her and she makes a toothy smile. "It's simple,"

Y/N rolls her eyes playfully. "Doesn't look simple,"

"Oh, please," Bill says. "I'm sure there's plenty of things you can do better than I can," He licks a new pierce of thread before carefully pulling it through the needle. "Things just take practice hun,"

Y/N stands now. "You're right," and Bill raises an eyebrow. "I bet I can do a lot of things better than you," She laughs. "Like dance," And Bill can't keep a smile off his face while she spins around in circles, sliding around the floor in the socks he gave her. The t-shirt dress is fluttering with the wind she's making. If he's being honest, she's anything but graceful, but he likes it anyway. "C'mon," Y/N grabs ahold of Bills elbow and tugs a little. "Dance with me," she says in a voice so small he couldn't resist.

So, he contemplates for a second and oust his needle to the side before standing. They're positioned like they're doing the Waltz--his hand on his lower back and her hand on his shoulder. "Now, just sway," she whispers.

Bill doesn't have any rhythm, so he's starring down at his feet, nervous for some reason. And she's just looking up at him longingly. "Now spin me," Y/N says.

He does just as she says and she giggles a bit. They're both humming their own songs in their heads, until they come to an end and Bill just exhales and stares at her for a moment.

Fuck.

What has he got himself into.