#someone either stop me or encourage me but its obvious i cant be left alone to make my own choicea

[xysidhe]

Hahahahaaaa

Y'all know that jegulus fic I decided to write?

Well chapter 2 is done.

It's currently sitting at 8.9k words.

Before editing, which can add 100-1000 words depending on my mood.

This fic is going to be massive I can feel it.

Send

Help.

[beann-e]

haikyu characters with insecure s/o

inarizaki boys with insecure s/o

⚠️ tw mentions of slight ed

suna

-I doubt that he’ll care based on his personality. Most likely he wouldn’t even notice I know people like to say ‘ well when he really cares about someone’

-no .. I genuinely think he won’t care if you believe him or not because to him why would he be dating you if he didn’t think you were an all around great perosn

Your boyfriends eyes looked up from his phone legs twitching in anxiousness as he followed your soft eyes across the room landing on a girl that sat at the far end of the restaurant.

Your hand coming up so you could fiddle with it looking out the corner of your eye to find suna already looking at her

‘ god I knew it — he is looking at her kinda hard not to when she takes up the whole room ‘

You felt your body grow hot as you imagined yourself looking like her.

What would it be like to be her height, to be her weight and not have people talk about you , what would it be like to have a clear conscience free of self doubt ?

You sighed as you nibbled on the inside of your cheek trying to get out of your explosive mind. Breath only quickening when you felt sunas face turn to you before he scoffed and looked back to his phone in interest

“ tch her shoes are untied “

your eyebrows furrowed “ w-what “ your eyes darted over to the girl before dropping to her shoes “ h-her shoes are untied “

you shook your head before speaking “ but suna isn’t — don’t you think she’s pretty “

“ her shoes are untied “

“ yeah but — she’s pretty ? I don’t understand “

“ her shoes are untied “

“ what the hell suna why is that what you care about when she’s going on a remarkable height and she’s beautiful with clear skin that I work super hard to get I mean you’ve seen me try to every night with my routines “

he shook his head as if not listening to you before continuing to play a game on his phone that seemed to have all his attention

“ baby her shoes are untied “

“ what does— “

“ if she cant do something as small as tying her own shoes who’s to say she can care about any of the small things that I find important in a relationship “

your eyebrows relaxed “ I understand it may not seem like a big deal to you because you think she’s beautiful so her shoelaces don’t matter but if she can walk around with open shoe laces — who’s to say she won’t walk around with an open relationship? “

he made his character move around the screen as he sighed “ little things go a long way in my book and they mean a lot to me first impressions are everything “

You watched as his face remained stoic while he spoke in disinterest “ I don’t like hers “

you somewhat felt discouraged if he felt this strongly about shoelaces what did he feel about you ?

what about when you forgot to wash a dish ?

what about when you forgot to take a shower or even brush your hair that day ?

what if you’d forgotten to tie your shoes would he hate you and want to break up?

you moved slowly to push yourself away from the table trying to see if your shoelaces were tied only for sunas voice to come out In deep authority his annoyance playing in his voice next to you

“ stop babe your wearing flats “

you bit your bottom lip in fear he sounded annoyed and genuinely exhausted . You couldn’t help it just so many things were running through your mind that you may have done wrong

he moved to set his phone down on the table the word loser sprawled across the screen you knowing he gave up his gameplay for you making you feel even worse knowing that he’d never stop playing on his phone for anyone else

You bit harder at your lip as he turned to you his hands coming up right one to cradle your face and left to try to pull your lip from you teeth’s deathly hold

“ y/n come on let go “

you felt your body give in releasing your lip that had started to bleed you hadn’t even noticed how hard it was tucked away

he rubbed the small amount of blood away with his thumb onto a napkin wiping his hand off afterward to look into your eyes as he squished your face

his words having meaning as he spoke looking deeply into your eyes “ your fine y/n — you tie your shoelaces babe I swear “

Osamu

- Hes a bit more chill about it but also spots it quickly and immediately shuts it down. He hates you feeling insecure and will do nearly anything to make the feeling go away including giving you his lunch.

-but over time you stop accepting his lunch and that’s when he knows he needs to put his foot down because this insecurity thing is getting out of hand

“ y/n why aren’t you eating “

you smiled softly as you brung your head away from your boyfriend hands outstretched in a no motion as your eyes sprinted around the cafe looking for the one person who held everything you wanted

“ come on baby — your rice it’s getting cold “ his whiny voice came out as he clawed at your waist trying to pull you closer to him to get you to look at his pouted face.

“ fine whatever then i’ll just eat it all and i’ll never make you lunch again “ he puffed out as he moved to steal your second plate away he’d given you thinking it would encourage you to eat your first only for you to squint your eyes at a table in front of the both of you

His body moving on instinct to follow your eyes as you stared curiosily at the table.

His body turning hard as he noticed what was happening ‘ fucking hell ‘ he thought as he pushed the plate back in front of you ‘ again ‘

He moved to place his head on your shoulder speaking “ god look at ‘er she doesn’t even have any rice “

you tried to drown him out as he continued “ can you imagine actually enjoying yer lunch with no rice “ he scoffed “ almost sad “

he smiled as he dug his forehead into your shoulder “ but you eat rice baby “ he moved to kiss and nip at your neck “ and I love you for it your my rice baby “

“ r-rice baby “ he laughed “ osumu what is that babe“

“ ah I see that’s all it took huh ? “

“ hmm “

“ to get your attention away from the girl who lacks rice“

your eyebrows went down as you stared at her more.

Eyes racking over her plate before you looked down at yours eyes almost tearing up at that alone “ babe “

“ yes y/n “

“ can you go ge—just go get me a milk I swear i’ll drink it all “

he sat still for a moment forehead pressed to your neck before it fell to your shoulder and he finally dragged it down to the table.

His arm covering it giving his head its own home

“ hmm osumu babe can you do that i’ll give you the money back I swear I won’t waste it “

his voice came out soft as he hid his nervous emotion from you his bottom lip tucked away in his teeth right hand fidgeting with his pants

“ n-no you have to eat “

“ but osumu ple— “

“ e-eat first and i’ll go get the milk “ his eyes were creased in concern he knew he couldn’t look at you he would give in for the 5th time this week and just suck it up and go get the milk and leave you to eat no lunch and go all day without something to eat

“ I swear if you eat your lunch and f-finish it “ he started moving his legs in anxiousness

what if you hated him

“ then i’ll go get the milk “

“ why — “ you ripped your face away from the girls plate and turned to look at the back of your boyfriends head

“ osumu why are you doing this please — can you just go get the milk I didn’t bring my lunch card and I don’t have any money right now“

his leg moved up and down faster “ shit “ he let out quietly he knew he was cornered

“ baby I swear i’ll eat the lunch after the milk — swear it “

he knew there’d be no time for you to.

You’d have to eat one or the other and he just knew you would choose the milk

You two always did this he would give in and then go get it and come back and the bell would ring and you would leave your bento box and he would end up taking it home to stuff it full of the next days lunch

While he watched as you sat unhappily for the rest of the day.

Him hearing your stomach growling only for you to pass it off as the volleyball he just smacked down in his practice game

“ y/n babe — my love I can’t “

your body shook at his words

he can’t ?

“ you don’t have any lunch money or your card either ? “

he chewed into his lip harder “ no-no y/n I just I don’t want to “

your heart broke “ but osamu i’m hungry “

“ then eat the lunch I made for you in the bento box that you didn’t eat out of yesterday “

“ I—I don’t want that I want milk please “

“ why “ he got louder “ why do you want the milk huh“

“ because I “ you shut your mouth as he was now screaming to the ground his head still covered

could he not look at you ?

“ you don’t want the milk just because you want it you want the milk because that chick with no rice only drinks milk —- you want to be like her or some shit I know —I see it “

your heart dropped as it felt like your body had been weighed down “ what no I — I don’t “

“ yes you do why else are you always staring at her — you started working out — only drinking milk because she does it’s almost like she’s your inspiration isn’t that what you call it your body inspo“

“ i— osumu how dare you “

“ how dare I ? “ he laughed as his head whipped up to face you obvious hurt in his voice

“ how dare you when you make me watch you suffer and then you say shit like it’s fine i’ll eat at home only for me to call and your outside working out “

he grabbed your hands “ y/n baby this isn’t good ok you like food you love it so why are you so against it now “

you looked away as he pulled you into a hug

“ I know I can’t make you do anything but — please just eat your food today and then i’ll get you milk afterwards ok “

he moved to press a small kiss to your forehead as he moved the plate in front of you over “ let’s start working on ourselves today “

he placed the chopsticks in your shaky hand as he brung them up for a kiss “ we’ll create our own body inspo yeah ? “

[ixiomdraws]

[CLOSED SPECIES]

I would like to officially introduce a creature species I've made. They arent really new since I've had them for years and posted them several times on a couple different blogs, but they were originally just one, not really a species, but I love them and i just wanted to expand on them and what they were, so here we go.

Please read under the cut for full info on budbugs.

BUDBUG is the species name, named after the original, Pillbug.

(this is Pillbug^)

Pillbug was the only of their kind, created in a lab for testing purposes, and not good ones. They were practically tortured, cut open countless times, experimented on, ect. They were made to be docile and obedient, no aggressiveness at all, to the point of almost being just a living stuffed animal.

Pillbug is quiet, and pretty much completely incapable of choosing to do anything. They will wait for someone to tell them to do something, sitting in the same spot till they starve to death. Think of the sims with free will option turned off. This is specifically Pillbug, the first and original, and does not apply to the whole species. All budbugs come from Pillbugs DNA, so, in a way, Pillbug is the mother/father to all of the others.

now onto the species:

BUDBUGS

Scientific name:Vitula mollisparva

CLOSED species

Lifespan: unknown. Oldest living budbug is 36 (human) years old.

Average height: on all fours:around 1 foot. Standing: 2 feet(bitty versions also available)

Average weight:15 pounds

Sex: Budbugs are a genderless species, and cannot reproduce. if you adopt one, you can choose any pronouns youd like to call them, they don’t care.

DIET: they can pretty much eat anything. Their diet is whatever is offered to them or available, including things like bark. They have no specific needs, but  there was a recorded overall preference of fruit and sweet things. Sweet milk is the number one way to attract them. It seems to be their absolute favorite, warm or cold. They have some semi-sharp molar like teeth in the back of their mouth that they use for crushing/chewing harder materials.

YOUNG: a hatchling(called pups) will not have vision, or be able to walk. they have feeling and scent to go on, much like a puppy. they have slight hearing that comes through to them as muffled sound. they are bottle fed milk like substance and sugar water(or a mix of both) for 3-4 months. 

since budbugs dont have the ability to reproduce, nor a gender, there is no mother to nurse them and is done by bottle. there is the possibility of an adult budbug attempting to nurse young, but it’s unlikely theyll produce milk in time before the young starves.(we of course have the ability to make ‘nursemaid’ parents, bottle feeding the hatchlings until their milk comes in from stimulation((e.g pups attempting to nurse on them for prolonged times))

 It's best to feed them mushy like food up to 6 or 7 months old. eyes open around 2-3 weeks old, along with better hearing. they start walking shortly after, 4-6 weeks. they will follow after people or animals in a fashion similar to ducklings, seeking a bigger ‘parental’ figure to protect them and make small chirp noises.

PLANT GROWTH:

Typically has any type of plant matter growing on their head, sometimes it can trail down their back and tail or even have random patches of plant matter elsewhere. the plants that grow on them are a part of them, for instance- cutting off a flower will cause a pinkish blood drop to emerge. They don’t seem to feel the pain of cut flowers/plant matter, nor does it need to be bandaged or treated, its fairly similar to regular plants in that aspect. [note:please do NOT use a mower or weedeater on your budbug]

The plants that grow on them are similar to regular plants, but often are more 'sturdy' and a little tougher to break/cut. This can vary somewhat by the individual, some will have more fragile type plant matter that easily comes off, others may have plant matter that is thicker, rooted and more connected to them. Usually youll know depending on plant type, thicker looking stems and such are most likely more rooted and a part of them and we highly recommended not trying to pull any plant matter out/off of them.

 its best to let the plant naturally die/fall off, and typically the plant doesnt overgrow to a point of causing difficulty to the budbug.

BEHAVIOR:

a common site is seeing the budbug grooming itself; licking like a cat and patting or somewhat 'pulling' on leaves or whatever plant matter they have, to shed the dead leaves, ect. If left with water, they might bathe themself, somewhat like a hamster or cat, except they dip their arms in the water instead of licking them.(if water is available)

They have horn-like nubs on their head covered in fur/felt, the horns stop growing at a certain point and then remain that way for life. Their horns have no use other than for hatching out of an egg at birth. Its extremely rare for them to be aggressive toward anything, including others of their species. They’re very sharing, and around their own kind, they will often groom each other, make soft calls, and sleep in piles. 

The few aggressive ones only did some mild growl like sounds and avoid the others, most of which stopped within an hour and joined in the regular activities.

There have been no cases of any attacks or biting, whether to their own species or other animals/people.

Meeting other species, they wont typically make the same call noises as they do to each other, but will still act friendly and try to sit next to or sleep with, and  even try to groom them.

They’re quiet, almost mute. They can make soft call noises and various other light toned sounds, they cant bark/moo, and even in distress or extreme pain, they typically only make soft whine noises or stay silent. they also make rumbling like sounds similar to a purr. They have a very high pain tolerance, some people might even claim they cant feel pain, but trust me, they do.

heres some similar noises they can make(budbugs sound a bit more soft though, kind of like cooing? if that makes sense) 

[1][2][3][4]

urgent call/trying to get attention(rare)

young/baby chirps

distress/pain call(rare)

Their arms are flipper like, though still usable as paws if needed, they prefer walking upright. their eyesight differs greatly, some excellent, some poor.  If you don’t like things staring at you, this isnt the pet for you. They are very observant, watching others is probably like tv to them. smell is their best sensory, along with hearing. their fur type can vary from otter-like(waterproof) to very fine silky soft fur and many others.

Personality:

trusting, obedient, friendly, happy, quiet, patient. They will spend the majority of their time observing their surroundings or others.(some are 'lazier' than others, falling asleep instead)

Intelligence:

varies. They can learn a lot, but they typically have low functioning free will and require commands or encouragement to act on things.

As an example, we set a waterer that works similar to a fountain, needing a button to be pressed to release water for drinking. The creature sees us operate it and with mild encouragement, will press the button and drink. We leave them alone for days,  and while they know how to operate the device, they do not, simply waiting.

It took several days of being completely alone before they finally activated the water by pressing the button. By their straightforward action, we could tell they knew how to operate it and it wasn't an accident. This test was ran on several others, all similar reactions. On average, only 3 out of 10 would react sooner, within 24 hours, 5 took about 3-5 days before reacting, and 2  passed out from dehydration and had to be taken to medical. (test was ran on 5 groups of 10)

Many other tests provide similar information: they typically wait for something to encourage or command them to act, even on simple survival such as food and water. If it isnt offered to them, they seem to get confused and wait for an offering, even if theyre next to a stream.

 In some tests conducted, when in groups, they will follow suit after others, even of different species. e.g, one walks to a stream to drink, they follow suit to drink as well. It’s possible this is a faulty instinct of survival, watching others to drink or eat something to make sure its safe for themself, the faulty part being that even once they know a source is safe, they’ll still often wait for encouragement to engage.

 thankfully, about 74% of them will get over this faulty instinct over time and regular encouragement towards a water/food spot. moving their dish or having a non-regular feeding area can cause this faulty instinct to return or worsen. it’s recommend to have a designated water and feeding spot set up for them to help them overcome that behavior.

other than that, they are extremely adept at learning commands and copying (to the best of their ability). they learn tricks incredibly easily. (e.g, roll over, sit, fetch, ect)

again, this is a CLOSED species. you do not have permission to make one of these without my consent. below are permissions if you get one- RETURNS: If you decide you do not want your budbug anymore, you can message me and I’ll take it back, either keeping it or putting it back up for adoption.  but i can not and will not refund you. Which should be obvious, but just in case, i’m stating it here. PERMISSIONS: -you have complete permission to draw/write/ect of them. harm/violence/gore is allowed. I dont mind gore or sad angst stories, so whatever you want to do with them once bought, you can. However, you do not have permission to include them in anything sexual. if they’re just being the pet that watches their owners do it, like how cats sometimes do, then that’s fine. But absolutely no fucking the budbugs or other sexual activities with them. -You do not have permission to resell them or sell merchandise with them on it.

This post will be updated as needed if anything changes to their species info. Last update: 10/18/2018 

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[likenessofwolf-blog]

June 1st, 2015

The Blond, 11 Howard Hotel

New York, NY

 SoHo was not Frederick’s usual haunt, and that was exactly the point. It was off the beaten path without being on the opposite end of the city – another bonus. He liked it when someone else made his drinks for him and he was still not so far from home that collapsing into a dreamless sleep in his own bed without too much of a risk to his neck. Hotel bars were typically low lit, lush to the level of their setting, and the sort of place one could effectively disappear. Doing that had never been easy for Frederick (tending to provoke a reaction when he stalked into a room), and he relished the opportunity in those moments when it arose. The Blond did not disappoint on any point at first.

 After ten the place was kept dark enough that he entered as only a tall, dark figure in the shadows. Hanging back just out of the cast of a gentle amber colored sconce, he surveyed the space. 11 Howard was a nice, newly renovated and high end establishment. Its bar was likewise well appointed in contemporary modern furnishings chosen for both their sleek aesthetics and comfortable, low seating. There was a great deal of lovingly polished chestnut, velvet, and marbled stone. Little votives softly flickered on table tops and a piano trilling a cover of Black Hole Sun he felt was over the top on one side of the room. There were other patrons, but this was a Monday night a long way from overrun. When he found the far corner of the bar unoccupied he moved to it.

 It had been a good day at the office. He signed a deal with a new client who would bring others with that agreement in short order. Thornfield had its best quarter since its inception and projected to do better in the coming years. There were still battles to be won and he had a long list of next-up prospective leads maintained by executives far more interested than he was in playing salesman still to contend with – but things were good. Really good, he thought.

 He had a sense of purpose that fed itself and kept his mind occupied more nights than not and he was making more money than he really knew what to do with. His latest venture was a bid via Sotheby’s for a painting he thought he would never afford until he did. It was his second choice, but still one he was managing to work up some excitement for owning – sight unseen. It was less, he told himself, about the art itself than what having a piece like it would project about him. It had not yet been delivered, but he had a spot already chosen to receive it. He had long ago grown into himself and every ounce of artifice dissolved from him along with the greater part of his joy one night a decade prior. He lived life without regret or desire to see anything advance or change except for his business.

 Frederick ordered a bourbon, then another. Mid-way into his second drink he realized he was no longer really alone. He’d been distracted by his thoughts but focusing – to anyone who thought to look – a furrowed brow look towards the piano as if deeply moved by the tune while gripping his short glass in one hand. There were empty stools all around him, but she took the one beside him. His sidelong glance was returned with a cant of her head that sent a stream of high-shine, rich brown hair sliding liquid down over one eye. She smiled, and pretended to be slightly baffled at the fact that a drink had not yet appeared in her hand. When the bartender cruised their way, he met eyes with Frederick first – rather rude.

 “Can I get you another?”

He had not really quite finished his current, but nodded just the same before gesturing to the lady beside him.

 “May I? What are you drinking?” Though the answer was clearly nothing yet.

 “Vodka soda with a lime, please.” A girl drink. Frederick said not a word about it, but gave the bartender a nod to send him on his way to see to it.

 “Thank you.” She spoke first. “Such a gentleman. I thought he’d never notice me.”

 The girl in question was attractive. Narrow in the shoulders but with an appealing softness in her hips that seemed designed for the clinging, charcoal gray dress she wore. She sported a sparkle of platinum and diamonds in her ears and on a low-hanging pendant around her neck which seemed out of the depth of a girl he pegged for no more than twenty-five, but he said nothing about that either. He was no fool and knew well enough what it meant when a girl approached smiling at you like that.

 He offered his hand and his name. They spoke quietly about nothing of consequence to him, but with enough apparent engagement to keep her smiling. Frederick allowed her to do most of the conversing. His agreements and occasional interjections revealed very little but suggested a sharp mind bent towards quiet introspection. When her glass emptied, he waved for another. When she insisted she needed a smoke, he went with her and offered the jacket of his black Prada suit to shield her from the late night chill and produced a light automatically. He smiled congenially but thinly where needed, but allowed his silences to speak for him without revelation. After a bit more than an hour of absorbing dreamy, brown eyed stares cast up his way, he offered to move locations.

 His silver Jaguar XLR LWB was a year old and bound to be replaced soon, but it still made her ooh and ahh when he opened the door ahead of her. His place was the obvious choice. It was somehow always easier to call a cab while playing the gracious host than it was to slink out in the middle of the night from beneath a dozing woman intent on keeping you in her web. He drove fast and reckless. She – her name was Rebecca, but she asked to be called Becca – sat sideways in her seat with the belt off and her bare legs folded beneath her. A bit flushed from the drink, she chattered over the music which he kept low enough to be little more than white noise just barely heard above the roar of engine. She and her friends recently discovered SoHo and were in love with everything Village. They were not up for dancing that night, and she wanted to dress up and so struck out on her own. The idea made him smile a little, genuinely as he ever did, but not comment to draw more out of her.

 At his place he asked Mycroft for Chopin and took her out on the balcony. The view after dark was more spectacular still than that cast in sunlight and she gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. She knew he was wealthy, but had under estimated it by more than a bit. Now when she looked his way, it was with a new fascination which he did nothing to discourage. He pointed out Orion instead and she was delighted.

 He made them each another drink, though he was out of soda water and she had to accept her whiskey. He liked the lip-print evidence she left on the sides of glasses. Twice in the course of the evening Frederick made an off-hand remark and received a seemingly innocent but vaguely suggestive retort in return. At the third, he leaned in and used his left hand to take hold behind her back and draw her towards him and kissed her while still holding his bourbon in his right. She tasted faintly of thin, distilled spirits and cigarettes but felt entirely female and appealing. He crushed her to him until both their drinks were left forgotten outside and they were moving in unison to his bedroom.

 He was directing traffic by then and put her onto her knees at the edge of the mattress where they were more or less level if he spread his stance a bit. At first, he used a firm hand on her shoulders or hips, but eventually that transitioned to a fist that mussed her perfectly fluid dark hair and made her cry out sharply in surprise, but not motion to stop him. She was still, in fact, clenching steadily around him and gasping stead encouragement between her shrieks. Frederick heard and felt it all – of course – but it was experienced with a certain sameness that made satisfaction something he had to chase after with a gritted jaw and brute force. When he was done with her, Frederick collapsed onto his back on the mattress and did not make a fuss while she smoked shakily beside him indoors.

 Twenty two minutes later, he said:

 “It’s very late. Will you let me get you a car? Getting a cab this time of night will be hell.”

 She gave him a look, so he made an addition.

 “I insist.”

 She thanked him and found a smile. They exchanged numbers. He made good and walked her down himself dressed once more in his suit pants and shirt, though without tie or jacket. After that night, Frederick received a total of three exploratory texts before Becca gave up and moved on. If pressed, he would have struggled to recall the details of her face by the time Hurricane Ava ripped through the Upper East Side.

 That night, exhaustion and the potent mix of sex and alcohol sent him to sleep in perfect, soothing silence. He did not dream, or if he did, he did not recall it or wake from it.