#sometimes i regret transitioning it hasn’t been a thought i’ve ever rlly thought abt until recently
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i feel so ugly
#i acc hate the way i look n who i am as a person#n i can’t even do anything abt it bc it’s just how i look#ik i shouldn’t care but i feel so lonely and unattractive#i keep trying to stay positive and focus on the ppl around me and making plans w them#but as soon as i’m by myself i just feel so much#sometimes i regret transitioning it hasn’t been a thought i’ve ever rlly thought abt until recently#i feel like being trans makes life so much harder#n i wonder whether i would have had a less lonely life w dating if i just stayed a girl#i wouldn’t have lost all my hair#like the idea sounds awful bc i just don’t view myself tht way and can’t imagine living as a woman#but i do feel like i’m just so less loveable as a nonbinary trans guy#like ive grown to accept i have no hair and won’t even look twink again lol#but i miss being cute ….#n besides the hair like i struggle a lot w dating bc not a lot of guy r into me for being trans#ik there’s trans ppl out there w partners n hav hookups etc tho so maybe it’s just me#i just feel like there’s something abt me tht must repulse ppl or turn them off#i rlly thought i was doing a lot better within myself like i was liking the way i looked even w the badly and head tatt like i felt#like maybe i was attractive but i just feel like i’m back to square one feeling like this goblin#journal
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