#sometimes i will be a little too quiet and theyll tell me to update simply plural

[owlways-and-forever]

Summary: The Marauders are getting older, and that means so many things. Mischief, heartbreak, and trying to figure out who they really are. They’ll face problems within their group, prove their loyalty to each other, and discover the ugliness that is brewing in the wizarding world at large. Welcome to Years 2-4 of the Marauders time at Hogwarts. **This piece is a sequel to Behind the Mango Tree, however, you do not have to have read the first installment to pick this up. It does stand alone, but there is some carry over from the last book, especially with inter-character relationships. Basically, you don’t have to have read BtMT, but it certainly helps. Word Count: (5256) 9786 Links: FFnet | ao3 | tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2

A/N: Happy hump day everyone! I hope you didn't think I forgot to update! This chapter is pretty long, and I think somewhat emotional, but I hope you guys enjoy it! See ya next Wednesday!

Chapter 3: Home for the Holidays

"Come in," Dumbledore called from inside his office, after Remus knocked on the ornate wooden door.

Slowly, he pushed it open, dreading the conversation they were about to have. In the year and a half that Remus had been at Hogwarts, he had been in the Headmaster's office a handful of times, and never for anything good. Not that Remus was one to get in trouble, but his condition sometimes necessitated these chats, and Remus had no doubt that that was why he was there.

The Headmaster was sitting at his desk, fingers steepled together and eyes closed in calm consideration. Behind him, Professor McGonagall stood, looking altogether more intimidating, her lips pursed as usual. Remus approached them, taking a seat in the chair across the desk and dropping his bag at his feet.

"Mr. Lupin, Professor McGonagall and I would like to discuss the upcoming winter holidays with you," Dumbledore began, fixing his blue eyes on Remus.

"There's a full moon on the second night," he answered, shrugging slightly. He paid close attention to the lunar cycle, and he was well versed in when his transitions would happen.

"We've talked to your parents, and they don't feel... prepared... to keep you safe during your transition, and they thing it would be better if you remained here over the holidays," Dumbledore continued, watching Remus carefully.

"They don't want to see me?" Remus asked, unable to contain his disappointment, or even hide it.

"Of course they do," Professor McGonagall interjected kindly, her expression softening. "They just think that we can provide for your needs better here. Madam Pomfrey will be on hand to help you recover from any injuries, and you'll be safe in the Shack as usual."

"Right, of course," Remus agreed, his mind stuck on his parents and feeling undeniably rejected. He had thought that they would be excited to see him, even more so since his sister's death, but they didn't want him at all. "I should get back to the library, Professors, some of the end of term projects are rather difficult."

Remus stood and grabbed his bag, turning to go before he could start crying. He felt very emotional, and he didn't want to break down in front of the Headmaster and his Head of House.

"Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall called out to him as he reached the door of the office, "your parents care for you very much."

Remus nodded and swallowed thickly, but at that moment he felt distinctly like Professor McGonagall cared more for him than his family did. He knew his father thought his kind were monsters, and his mother only really knew about his condition from muggle fairytales and his father's work, and he wasn't sure which gave his kind a worse reputation. But he had always believed that, even though they thought he was disturbing, his parents had still loved him. Maybe not as much as his sister, who had been perfect in every way – in his eyes as much as theirs – but he had thought that they loved him somewhat. And yet, here was the proof that Remus had been mistaken, that he had been fooling himself this entire time.

A few floors down from Dumbledore's office, Remus ducked into an empty classroom, quickly locking the door behind him. He collapsed into the professor's chair, letting his head sink onto the desk. The cool wood felt nice against his skin, which had grown hot with emotion. Tears began to flow freely across his cheeks, making little puddles on the desk, and Remus was happy to let them come.

After half an hour, maybe more, Remus heard a small click that meant someone had unlocked the door. His tears had stopped several minutes earlier, but it had only left him feeling defeated, rather than better, so he had stayed where he was. But as the door opened, he straightened up and wiped at his face, trying to erase the evidence of his tears. To his surprise, Lily Evans walked through the door, a curious look on her face.

"Remus?" she asked, closing the door behind her. "Is everything alright? Only I heard noise and it sounded like someone was upset..."

"I'm fine, just having a rough day," Remus sniffed, giving Lily a weak smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offered, sitting down on one of the students' desks.

"I dunno," he shrugged, and Lily was kind enough to sit quietly, waiting for him to decide. "My parents don't want me to go home for break."

"I'm sure that's not true," Lily said automatically, but she frowned when Remus gave her a withering stare. "Well, did they say why?"

Remus was quiet for a moment as he considered what to tell her. He didn't like lying to her, Lily had always been kind to him, but he couldn't tell her the truth about his condition.

"They just think it would be better for me to stay here," Remus answered at last, trying to toe the line between truth and lies.

"Because of your sister?" Lily asked, her brows dipping down in concentration. "I guess that makes sense, they think it'll be too hard to be at home without her."

"Maybe, but I thought they would miss me even more," Remus replied, frowning.

"I'm sure they do," she said. "But maybe they need more time to grieve on their own. It's a big change for them, and I'm sure it takes a long time to deal with. They might be worried that if you come home, it'll be even worse when you leave to go back to school again."

Remus was torn. He knew that it wasn't the reason that he was being set aside, but he couldn't tell Lily that. Yet at the same time, her words made him feel slightly better about the situation. She might, at least, be right about them missing him, and oddly that made a difference in the situation.

"But I still want to go home," Remus said at last. "I miss my parents and I want to see them."

"Then you should tell them that," Lily shrugged, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "Remus, your parents love you, and if you really want to go home, I'm sure they would let you. Or at least, maybe you could stay with James or Sirius or Peter for the holidays? I know it wouldn't be your family, but it might be better than staying at Hogwarts."

Remus appreciated her words, but he knew that staying with any other families was completely out of the question. Deep down, he knew that his parents were right. He would be better of turning at Hogwarts, and everyone else would be safer. His werewolf form was growing as rapidly as his human self, and he could no longer simply be contained in a soundproofed basement. The days when Remus transformed into a cub were long gone, and now he was easily strong enough to break through a door. The thought of what he could do to innocent villagers if he got out was enough to make him shudder with fear. No, everyone else would be much safer if he stayed at Hogwarts. But even knowing that it was for the best, Remus was filled with sadness.

"You should talk to the others about it," Lily said, pulling Remus from his thoughts. "James, Sirius and Peter. You should tell them what's going on. They might be able to help you."

"I don't want to burden them," Remus answered, shaking his head lightly. "They won't be able to change anything, so there's no point."

With a sigh, Lily stood and collected her bag, scooping up the rolls of parchment that had fallen out. She felt more than a little exasperated at boys and their stupid need to do everything themselves. Why didn't they realize?

"Friends are meant to share your burdens," she said, looking over her shoulder at Remus, "even the ones they can't change."

With that parting wisdom, Lily walked out of the classroom, leaving Remus to the company of the misery he was resolved to keep.

Lily made a beeline for the Great Hall, where she knew that she was most likely to find the boys. She didn't particularly care if Remus showed up there, but she felt pretty confident that he wouldn't. In his mood, he would probably sulk in the classroom or hole up in the dormitory. Predictably, James, Sirius and Remus were sitting at the table, stuffing their faces with food. They didn't even seem at all concerned that Remus had been called away, that he hadn't returned yet, and Lily felt a surge of disgust roll through her stomach. She liked Remus well enough, and Peter was alright. Both of them were prone to self-pity, which thoroughly annoyed Lily, but they were good people besides that. But James and Sirius were complete idiots, often jerks, and they consistently made Lily's blood boil.

"The three of you could look a little more concerned that Remus got called to the headmaster's office," Lily huffed, coming to a stop next to Peter.

James looked between her and Sirius in confusion, and Peter looked up at her, frozen, with food halfway to his mouth. But Sirius just rolled his eyes at her and shrugged, and Lily had to suppress the anger boiling inside her.

"He get's called to Dumbledore all the time," Sirius answered nonchalantly.

"And how often does he leave those meetings and go cry in an empty classroom?" Lily snapped, anger flashing in her eyes.

"How is this your business?" Sirius retorted, his mouth twisting into a sneer.

"Because I'm the one who found him!" Lily answered, crossing her arms against her torso.

"So?" Sirius scoffed. "It's not like you're -"

James reached out and put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, stopping him in his tracks before he could say something regrettable.

"What happened, Evans?" he asked, and Lily turned her glare on him.

"His family told him not to come home for the holidays," she answered, a bit more sharp that necessary. "He's pretty cut up about it, feels like they don't want him."

"We'll take care of him," James assured her, though his tone was stiff.

"Thank you for letting us know," Peter said quietly, dropping his fork to his plate.

Lily turned and stalked away with a huff, her mary janes clicking against the stone floor. Overhead, the stars began to wink out as storm clouds drifted through the sky.

"Why does she have to go about, sticking her nose where it doesn't belong?" Sirius mumbled, poking at his food aggressively.

"But it was good she told us," Peter countered, his eyes round and sincere.

"I guess, but still, what does she care? She's not Remus' friend, she hasn't given a hippogriff's behind about him before," Sirius argued heatedly.

"Look mate, normally I'd agree with you," James cut in. "Evans can be bloody annoying most of the time. But I think right now we just need to focus on Remus. We have to make him feel better about this somehow."

"He could come spend the holidays with one of us," Sirius suggested, as if that solved the entire problem.

"Don't you think that would really just be rubbing in that his family doesn't want him at home?" James countered, shaking his head. "No, that's no good. We'll have to do something else..."

"What if... what if we all stayed here too?" Peter offered, looking nervous. "I'm sure it's a rubbish idea, but..."

"No, actually, I think it's brilliant!" James replied, smiling broadly at Peter.

"Look, normally I'm as chuffed as anyone to avoid my parents," Sirius said, "but won't your parents' mind you not coming home? Not to mention, I don't think Remus would take it as well as you think. He doesn't like people doing things for him, especially if it means sacrificing something."

"My parents will be sad not to see me, but they'll understand," James answered, and Peter nodded in agreement. "But you might be right about Remus. What if we just... don't tell him..."

"You want to lie to Remus?" Peter asked, incredulous.

"I think it might be the only way to get him to accept the situation," James said, giving Peter a tentative smile. "Isn't a white lie alright if it's to help someone?"

"I'm not sure..." Peter answered, looking uncomfortable.

"Peter, you know Remus would never let us give this up for him," Sirius argued. "Not that there's much to give up, really. But he would see it as a sacrifice, and he'd be upset. It's the only way."

"I suppose," Peter admitted, reluctant.

"We'll have to come up with different excuses," James reasoned. "And tell him at different times."

"Well my excuse is simple, I just don't want to go home," Sirius shrugged.

"You should go last, once we're all staying, you can say that you'd rather stay here with the rest of us," James said, nodding.

"I suppose I could say that one of my parents is sick," Peter suggested, hastening to amend his words when the others looked at him wide-eyed. "Nothing life threatening! The flu or something, just contagious enough to keep me away."

"Alright, well, I guess my parents could be traveling, they might not return before Christmas. If they were abroad, a storm would be enough to delay them," James considered. "I can go first, I'll send myself a fake letter from them and get it in front of him tomorrow. Peter you can go a day or two after that, and then Sirius, you last. We'll have to do a fair bit of acting to sell this though."

"Good thing we've had a fair bit of practice acting to get out of trouble," Sirius replied with a mischievous grin.

"When have you ever gotten out of trouble?" James scoffed, laughing lightly at his friend. "We all know you're the master of getting into trouble."

James pulled a small roll of parchment from his bag and extracted his quill and ink. He dipped his quill and began scratching a note out, imitating his father's handwriting flawlessly. When he was done, he held it up, satisfied, and blew on the ink lightly to dry it. He waved his wand at the base of the letter, and it tore cleanly away from the rest of the roll and folded itself neatly into a note.

All three boys got up from the table and left the Great Hall, making their way to the Owlery. James found his owl, Driscoll, and gave him specific instructions to bring the letter to him in the Great Hall at breakfast the next morning. When it was all arranged, they returned to Gryffindor Tower, finding Remus surly and brooding over his textbooks.

He said nothing about staying at Hogwarts for the holidays, and with an exchange of looks, the other three boys agreed it was better to pretend not to know. That way, when they announced they would be staying, it would be more plausible that it wasn't all for him.

Remus' mood had not changed by breakfast the next morning. He stared at his plate sullenly and pushed around bits of food without eating anything, though he had skipped dinner the night before. He didn't even notice when Driscoll swooped low over the Gryffindor table, landing gracefully on James' shoulder and dropping the letter in his lap. James opened the letter and did his best to look upset, tossing the letter down on the table and sulking into his beans on toast.

"Something wrong?" Sirius asked, nonchalant as ever.

"Mum's written, she says that she and my dad won't be home for Christmas," James answered, keeping his eyes on his plate and frowning seriously. But he saw through his lashes that Remus was looking up at him curiously. "They've been traveling a bit, seeing some of her extended family in India and friends in Egypt and Greece. But there's some big storm happening I guess, and she says they won't be able to get back in time, so I'm to stay here for the holidays."

"Really?" Remus asked, his voice a touch more upbeat. "You're staying here?"

"Looks like it," James said glumly, poking around at his breakfast. "Wish I didn't have to though. It'll be rubbish here alone for Christmas. Although I guess some people are staying. I think Benjy and Stebbins are both staying, since Hanukkah will be over by then."

"Well, I'll be staying too," Remus admitted, a little sheepish.

"You will?" James answered, markedly happier.

"Yeah, I found out yesterday," he said, shrugging. "I guess my parents are just... not feeling very festive this year. They're not ready to do the whole Christmas thing, so they want me to stay here."

"Well that's excellent!" James replied, cheerfully. "I mean, not... not that your parents aren't... but it'll be much more fun with you here!"

He stammered through the end of his speech, blushing slightly as he tried not to imply that everything was fine and dandy. If what Remus had said was the truth, then he must feel awful for not being wanted. But as it was, James suspected that there was more to the excuse than what had been said, and if Remus didn't feel like he could tell them what it was, then it was probably very upsetting.

Peter waited two days before announcing over lunch that his parents had both gotten bronchitis, and they didn't want him to come home and get sick, so he really ought to stay at Hogwarts. Neither James or Sirius had any idea what bronchitis was, but it seemed sufficiently contagious that Remus accepted the explanation without question. Peter had been brilliant – he'd gone to Professor McGonagall's office to tell her about their plan, and when he came back, he pretended to be all doom and gloom and said that she had called him in to tell him the news.

Sirius didn't even bother saying anything at all, but when Professor McGonagall assembled all the Gryffindors who were staying over the break, he followed them. When Remus gave him a confused look (which James and Peter were quick to replicate), Sirius just shrugged and said, "Much better to stay with you lot than go home to my family." Remus mere shrugged in reply, used to Sirius' oddities and dislike of his family enough not to be surprised by the decision. And just like that, all four boys were spending their first Christmas away from their families ever.

Most of the students left two days before Christmas, leaving the castle empty and quiet. Of the Gryffindors, only a handful remained, and mostly from the upper years. Alastor Moody and Iseult Courtenay wanted to stay to prepare for N.E.W.T.s, while Straton Faulkner wanted to study for the O.W.L.s, and Frank Longbottom wanted to spend the holidays with Alice Matthews. A few younger students stayed, but most had gone home, missing their families. Nearly all the Jewish students remained – they always had special permission to Floo home for suppers with their families during Hanukkah, the high holy days, and pesach, if they didn't fall during the breaks – which meant that Benjy Fenwick and Daniel Stebbins were staying, as well as Leon Wycliffe and Simon Beringer, although it was a shame that Rosaline had decided to go home to see her family anyway. Only two students in the entirety of Slytherin stayed at Hogwarts, Vortigurn Warwick, who was being made to do extra Charms lessons, and Emma Vanity, who hadn't been assigned a new foster family yet. Altogether, there were only 23 students staying for the break. The House tables had been replaced by one long table, with professors sitting interspersed among the students, and the decorations in the Great Hall had been scooched in closer so that the room didn't feel quite so vast and empty.

Remus was peaky and tired as break began, and the boys assumed he was just gloomy about being away from his parents. They tried everything to cheer him up. Together with Foxtrin Flint and Benjy Fenwick, they started a wizarding chess tournament, after finding a hidden passageway to Hogsmeade Sirius snuck bottles of butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks, and they even talked about setting off some of the stink bombs they had to trick Filch. But Remus seemed to only half enjoy all of it.

On Christmas Eve, Dumbledore declared that they would have a pajama ball after supper, and everyone should come dressed for the occasion. It was a bit odd, seeing students from other years and houses, even professors, all in their pajamas, but they had a blast. Professor McGonagall, predictably, excused herself early, and Remus said goodbye as soon as dinner was finished, the sun dipping low in the sky, and the ceiling of the Great Hall stained pink and orange.

"I'm going to go for a walk," he said, pushing his chair back and looking up at the ceiling. "I don't really feel much like partying tonight."

"Right, sure," Sirius replied, jumping out of his seat. "Let's go!"

"No!" Remus answered quickly, a bit louder than normal. "I mean, no, thank you, I... I feel like being alone."

"Oh... okay..." Sirius slowly sank back into his seat, looking confused and a bit disappointed.

Remus ducked between two Christmas trees, slipping into the shadows and out of the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall was waiting for him in the Entrance Hall. As usual, she was carrying a dark cloak to help hide him as they walked through the grounds, and she handed it to him as they stepped through the doors.

"Do you think Remus is okay?" Sirius asked, looking at James and Peter.

Around them, the Great Hall was transforming from a cozy dinner room to a festive night club. Most of the professors began to dip out, leaving the party in a respectable manner, without too many drinks. But the students took advantage of the free flowing butterbeers and the music echoing from the rafters. It was tame as far as parties go, no one was stumbling drunk or making out on the dance floor, they were all just letting a little loose and having fun.

The night dragged on, and the full moon climbed higher in the sky, bathing the Great Hall in light. Peter stood on the edge of the room, looking up at the ceiling. He didn't much feel like being at the party. As much as he agreed with what they were doing for Remus, he did miss his parents, and he sort of wished he was home with them. He supposed life was good at Hogwarts, and he was happy here. He had friends and didn't get bullied as much, but... but he wasn't like Sirius. He loved his parents, very much, and it was hard for him to be away from them so much. He huffed a breath of air and squinted at the moon, trying to make out some detail of its surface, even just one crater. Something clicked in his mind then, and he thought back to Remus' words, his behavior for the past few days, and suddenly he knew. But it wasn't his secret to know, much less to tell the others. Peter could guess though, why his parents had really told him to stay at Hogwarts, and he was more glad than he had been before that they had all decided to stay.

Half an hour later, James started yawning and dragged Sirius away, finding Peter. The three boys left the Great Hall, waving goodnight to the other students, and returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, making a beeline for their dormitory. The fire was crackling in the warming stove in the center of the room, making them even sleepier. Remus' bed was still immaculate, so he clearly had not returned from his walk yet.

"I think I'll stay up and read or something until Remus gets back," Sirius said, as all three boys got ready for bed.

"If you like," James shrugged, crawling under his comforter. "He's probably fallen asleep in the library or something though."

"Maybe," Sirius answered, but he was a little concerned.

"I might stay up for a bit too," Peter chimed in, but he didn't expect Remus to come back that night at all.

"Goodnight, then," James said, drawing his curtains around him, and his friends echoed the sentiment.

Try as they might, Peter and Sirius were both too tired to stay awake for long, and both drifted off to sleep within the hour. When Remus snuck in not long after sunrise the next morning, he found Sirius asleep sitting up, a book about Megaera the Magnificent fallen, abandoned, on his chest. He smiled, knowing that his friend must have tried to wait up for him, before crawling into his own bed to try and get a few hours of sleep before the others awoke.

Peter was the first to wake the next morning, looking over to find Remus asleep soundly in his bed. For a moment, he began to wonder whether his conclusion was wrong, but he saw fresh cuts on Remus' hands, and knew that he'd been correct. Quietly, so as not to wake the others, Peter slipped out of bed and padded over to the stove, warming his hands by the fire.

They each had a pile of presents at the base of their beds, delivered in the night by teams of owls. Peter examined his carefully, and saw a few from his parents, one from each of his friends, and one small, oddly shaped parcel that he couldn't identify. Remus had a similarly modest pile of presents, but James and Sirius both had small mountains of gifts at the base of their beds. With a sigh, Peter returned to his bed, pulling his Herbology textbook onto his lap and cracking it open.

He'd read a chapter and a half when James began to stir, stretching his long limbs and cracking his joints. He sat up, pulling the curtains of his bed aside and blinking sleepily at Peter. Then, without a word, he grabbed his pillow and threw it at Sirius, hitting him in the face. Sirius groaned and wrapped his arm around James' pillow, sinking deeper into his bed.

"Oi, wake up you muppet," James mumbled, and Sirius grumbled in response.

"Let them sleep longer," Peter said, watching as Remus rolled over onto his stomach and yawned.

"But it's Christmas!" James answered, his voice brimming with excitement, and he reached out to grab one of his presents.

"Even more reason to sleep in," Peter retorted, exasperated with his friend.

"What's got your wand in a knot?" James asked, grimacing across the dormitory.

"Nothing, but neither of them slept very much last night, and we haven't got anywhere to be, so what's the rush to wake them up?" Peter snapped, a bit louder than he meant to.

"'S'goin' on?" Remus mumbled, sitting up and yawning, running a hand through his very messy hair.

"Peter thinks I'm being a twat for wanting to wake you two," James answered as Sirius blinked his eyes open.

"I didn't call you a twat," Peter said, gritting his teeth. James was really trying his patience.

"Well, it doesn't matter, we're awake now, right Sirius?" Remus replied pacifyingly, scooting down to the foot of his bed. "C'mon let's see what we've got this year."

Peter's annoyance dissipated fairly quickly as his friends woke up and began tearing into their presents, whooping excitedly. Even Remus seemed a bit happier than he had been the day before, although he looked positively exhausted. Still, he was smiling and happy as he opened his presents, and Peter relaxed a bit.

It was a good haul for all of them that year (not that it ever wasn't). Sirius' parents had sent him a few things that he hated (a book of his lineage, really?) but they'd also included a bunch of chocolates and a few treats made by their kitchen elf. The Potters had more than made up for Mr. and Mrs. Black's poor choice in presents, sending Sirius a bunch of fun gifts, many of them mirroring things James had gotten himself. They'd also sent James a new broomstick, with explicit instructions that it was for practicing quidditch ONLY and that if he broke this one, he would be buying the next one himself. Sirius cackled at the note, but James blushed scarlet, looking horrified at the memory. Remus' parents had sent him a framed photo of him and his sister when he was young, which left him in a teary sort of smile as he opened the rest of his gifts. Peter had gotten some clothes and books and sweets, nothing big or fancy, but he was more than happy with his lot. The oddly shaped package turned out to be a small plant from Professor Sprout. It looked like a little succulent, and it emitted a kind of soothing energy. He could feel it leeching the anxiety from his brain and almost instantly felt more relaxed, even happier. He placed it on the nightstand by his bed, making a mental note to spend a few minutes holding this plant each morning and night.

When they had finished opening all their presents, the four boys made their way to the Great Hall for a fabulous Christmas breakfast. The spread was fit for a king, and they couldn't help but grin as they tucked into their meals.

"You know," Remus said after a few moments of idle chatter, "this Christmas hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be."

"No?" James asked, grinning happily.

"Nah," Remus answered, echoing his friend's smile.

"And we still have days before everyone else returns!" Sirius added. "Loads of time to get into all sorts of trouble."

All four boys giggled delightedly, thinking of the different pranks they could pull and thinking about sneaking out of Gryffindor Tower. It felt like the world was their oyster.

"Really though, thank you all for staying," Remus said sincerely.

"Dunno what you're talking about," Peter denied, but his smile told a different story.

They all knew what had transpired that Christmas, and more than anything, it had cemented their friendship. Beyond friendship, really. They were family now.