#sorry friends i do not actually normally read yaoi LOL

[wyverncult]

goodnight

[shinahbee]

January Favorites 2021!

GREETINGS

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February 06. 2021

Hello,

I actually wrote a lot for this month, perfect way to start off the new year! I have been catching up and watching some dramas and some of the new anime this season, which i’ll discuss a few down below. I’m just realizing that the manhwa recommendations list is growing very long and it reading those titles that i have discussed made me reminisce on some of them and most of which I would re read again. I tried to read some shoujo manga again and thought the stories were shit, so i don’t think i’ll ever go back. I’m thinking of starting some shoujo manhwa’s because I have a few titles that seemed like they might have an interesting plot line. I’ll list in in my favorites if I do end up reading those, but so far i’m still filtering the BL titles .lol.

I’m just going to put this out there now before you read the “Hell segment” I mentioned a few titles that were popular that i dropped and I listed the reasons why i dropped it, they are popular for a reason and if you like that and don’t take the plot line too seriously then that’s on you, but i don’t like the subject matter being glorified rather than “lesson learned” if you know what i’m saying so take my comments down there with a grain of salt...it’s just how i read it and interpreted the subject matter, it has nothing to do with the creator and their thoughts. This is going to apply to all of my reviews, they are just my opinions only so don't take what i say seriously if it you are offended that i happen to diss your favorite manga.

Anyways, i have no music recommendations this month all i have been listening to is podcasts, so listening to people talk about nothing.lol. That’s what my life has come to...

If you would like I can share a few that I have been listening to, let me know.

Alright, you all have a lot to read to i’ll just end here.

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MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

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Recap:

Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

Social temperature (ongoing)

Salad days (ongoing)

To be or not to be (ongoing)

Path to you (completed)

Here u are (completed)

BJ alex (completed)

No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

Unintentional love story (ongoing)

 Karasugoka don’t be shy! (Completed)

Semantic Error (ongoing)

 Tied up in Twins (Completed)

 My Suha (ongoing)

Crash into me (Completed)

Dine with a vampire (ongoing)

So crash into you is now finished and you can now read the entire thing, so happy it ended really well and of course if you have seen my last favorites journal I made and entire post dedicated to this manhwa. The story is really heart breaking and definitely deals with more adult and mature content and it really is disturbing in some parts, so viewer discretion is advised.

That’s all i have to announce as an update, the rest is still ongoing. This month I came up with certain themes for my hell segment, last month I started with some manhwa that all had a common theme of Scum antagonists that you will run into when reading these manhwa, some of which ranges from mild inconvenience to this piece of shit should be set on fire. If you have not read that please check it out and watch me rant about stupid people.

This week featured another theme that you will run into reading shounen ai/ yaoi manhwa and manga, it’s a very universal theme of “threesomes”...I don’t get it, I don’t get why people think that’s  okay to have three dicks in a room...i’m like there’s three dicks here, that’s way too many..lol. to each their own I guess, but i’ve selected three to talk about that also deals with mature themes and a bunch of people making poor decisions.

But before that, let’s talk about the normal shounen ai manhwa/manga that I have to recommend this month.

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Welcome to heaven

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1) Inner Beauty:

“Minjae’s been dumped. Fed up with their long distance relationship, his actress girlfriend Hye-Eun left him while he was “finding himself” in Australia. When Minjae rushes home and runs into Hye-Eun and her gorgeous new man, Woochan, at the airport, drama ensues. Amidst the chaos, the two love rivals bang heads. Upon waking, they discover they’ve changed bodies! Why have they switched? How will they cope? Will they ever be able to go back? Find out as Minjae and Woochan embark on a journey that takes “self-discovery” to a whole new level!”

Firstly this reminded me of the k-drama secret garden, if you have seen it you know that the main protagonists switched bodies at some point and with this manhwa, it happens in the first chapter. I liked how the relationship between the two boys started with minjae’s girlfriend leaving him for another man woochan, and after minjae and woochan switched bodies because he wanted to give the girlfriend a necklace as a gift , he switched bodies with woochan after bumping into him. They went to a shaman to seek out various ways to get back into their bodies while they find out things about each other that they were not aware of,  in the end minjae and woochan were drawn to each other. The necklace is a tribal ornament that has a mysterious power to show a person’s past through their dreams. It seems that the reason why their bodies keep switching was because there was another necklace that was similar that was supposed to be it's partner; they go a try to search for the mysterious phenomenon surrounding the necklace that leads to their relationships with other people changing.

my favorite part of this story is that woochan and his father didn't get along very well because of a misunderstanding, while other parents didn't admit to their mistakes, woochan's father wanted to do so and repair his relationship with woochan, which made the story more compelling. Theres so many manga plot lines whee the parent is abusive and harsh and never did they think it was thier fault, but in this story woochan's father mans up to the things he did and how it affected woochan and i'm really happy about that.

Another thing I like about this story is the end where woochan who was an actor turned director made a film about his and minjae’s relationship because he wanted their story to be remembered and inspire other relationships that were similar to their own to overcome their hardships. This story has so much meaning and it’s something I would recommend to anyone who just likes a good story.

2) False Memories (lee gpiee):

” Wan’s got a face that scares everyone away before he can really become friends with anyone. So when Ha-woon befriends Wan on his first day at his new school, Wan is elated. Ha-woon must be an angel! It doesn’t take long, though, for Ha-woon to betray him in a terrible way, and Wan discovers Ha-woon might be more devil than angel. But then an accident happens that gives Wan a second chance at friendship with his angel. And it all starts with one big, fat lie.”

This one is really interesting, it is about a boy named wan and he was the new transfer student at a new school and how despite how he looks he wanted make friends this time around. Hawoon met wan when he was climbed off of a tree and fell on him, he immediately took a liking to him and befriended him, being very grateful to have finally met a friend he wanted to be a very likable person to hawoon, but then it was discovered that hawoon had many secrets and is not the kind person he is portrayed to be. There was an incident where one of his followers was spying on him and he wanted wan to essentially beat that person up in front of his other gang members. Obviously wan didn’t want that and this caused some strife between the two of them and wan began to be bullied by hawoon and his gang members. Later hawoon was trying to escape from his brother who went to his apartment to look for him and ran into wan who hides him over night, things tooka turn for the worse when hawoon thinks wan is being really nosy about his business and pushes him away and that is when the guy who hawoon wanted to beat up his him on the head and hawoon woke up with amnesia. Being the only person who had witnessed that, wan brought hawoon back to his place, when hawoon woke up with no previous memories of wan he lied to him claiming to be his best friend and the tow of them started to pursue this new friendship, of course things don’t last forever and the both of them discovered that hawoon in fact had many secrets that he preferred to keep under wraps especially about his family.

I know a lot of comments have said that it was stupid to lie to him about being friends but I understand that it was wan’s way to know the real hawoon. Hawoon’s personality was built by the lack of trust he has received from people and he was never able to open up to a person about anything. I really liked how the incident ended up saving their relationship in the end and they have a lot of cute moments together while going from being friends to being in love with each other. This is a very wholesome story and if you like that plot you will like this story, it really is not complicated.

3) Hand in Hand:

“While running a small pharmacy in the outskirts of the city, Sam meets a mysterious and out of place patient. This man named noah who was covered in bruises every time he had stopped by the pharmacy, Sam noticed that he seems to be in worse shape every time they meet and became curious as to why that might be, one day he saw noah getting into a shady van with a bunch of people and discovered that this town had a secret that kept everyone involved very secretive. Noah who was discovered to be a part of that society still goes and sees sam in order to be close to him, sam was then reeled into his world and became part of that society that was kept hidden.”

Sorry I had to write that summary on my own cause I could not find a good summary, so basically the pharmacy was inherited by Sam when his father passed away in this small town, there was no one to take over for him so Sam had to give up his dream of staying away from this town to moving back to take over the family business, There one night upon closing he meets a man covered in bruises while coming in to buy some alcohol and cigarettes, he treated him because it looked painful and was curious about him,

This curiosity escalated when he saw him get into a van with a bunch of ugly dudes, the pharmacy assistant said that there were gangs running around and it was best to avoid these people. Sam made the assumption that it was these men that were beating that man up and decided to pull him away from them. Noah then introduced himself to sam as they walk back to noahs apartment and he showed some interest in sam and asked what he wanted as payment for his treatment, Sam of course didn’t want anything which made noah surprised, but relayed to him that the offer still stands when he feel like telling him.

Not only being curious that noah shows up in front of him each time with more bruises but the fact that he may have discovered the town had a secret.

It was in fact an underground gambling scene that caused a lot of people to be very irritable, noah was involved in this and called it “work” as he had a debt to pay back to the person that took him in. Sam didn’t want to be involved but because of his interest in noah the two of them became romantically involved upon a few meetings and Sam started to develop feelings for him and likewise noah was in love with Sam.  I’m not going to spoil the end because it was really intense, if you like mysterious plot points to your story this one will do the trick, it will keep you guessing as to what will happen next.

4) Stanning 101:

“Ji-Yul Park is an ordinary office worker who spends his spare time stanning a boy group, unlock and more specifically it’s leader, Jay.One day, he time travels back to his past where he encounters Juno, another idol and becomes his manager.What happenes when Juno develops feelings for Ji-Yul? Would Ji-Yul choose loyalty with Juno or his fanboy fantasy with Jay? And what is the purpose for Ji-Yul traveling back to the past-what is he supposed to repair or change?”

I’m not going to lie this title...don’t let it fool you, I thought this was going to be a satire on the whole K-pop fandom and just a story poking fun at k-pop fans...but boy was I fooled..LOL. This summary doesn’t even begin to describe how deep this story goes.

So as the summary says it’s about a fan named ji yul who is a stan of a group called “unlock” and his favorite member Jay was going to leave for military service and he was really bummed about not being able to see him for a while, so he went out drinking with his friends who share the same interest and cried his eyes out wishing that he could go back to the time when jay and his group first debuted.

And of course....that happened some how he was enabled into a time skip backwards to when the group first debuted. He first met up with a roommate that he was going to be sharing a room with, this was none other than juno a trainee a small company, Juno was a sensation later on in history and he was a rival of the unlock, and of course being a stand of jay he didn’t like the idea of being around juno. Upon meeting ji yul was already drunk and the next morning found juno and him had slept on the same bed, this made things between them awkward. But upon a series of events he became juno’s manager and inevitably began to understand the person juno is and how hard he worked, as well as his ties with jay. While trying to figure out what was the reason for the time skip he met another person who was sent back to the same time for a different reason his name was suho, and suho was here for another person named rose who was a in a different group. Rose is a sunbae of Juno’s and the two of them are acquainted, But there was something about Rose that was alluring and that made his “ sponsors” want to see him all the time, this lead to a lot of conflict within his group, saying that he’s the kind of person who would sleep around with anyone that has money.

Suho was a fan of rose and the reason he came back was because in his time he had found out that Rose had committed suicide, now....this is a topic that i feel very strongly about as you may know if you listen to k-pop news there are certain group members from famous groups that have committed suicide as of late, a lot of which was diagnosis of depression,

This story deals with not only suho having had gone through depression and suicide attempts but Rose who was going through that as well, Suho wanted to make sure rose stays alive, so when he was able to meet him he did all he can to be beside him and get him away from these sponsors that clearly only want one thing from him. This had made rose and suho close enough to develop romantic feelings towards each other, it gave rose the courage to confront the ceo from the company. In the end the company ceo was being a dick and tried to force rose to sleep with these people in order to get chances to be on screen and promote their group. One of their members knew from the start what rose had to go through and after rose was being hunted down by the ceo after disappearing, the member took footage from the ceo of all the nasty things he made rose do and gave it to Suho? I don’t remember this part well, but suho somehow go the usb footage and saw that rose had been sexually abused and assaulted by those men. Rose had went to see suho at the time and saw that he found the footage, at that moment he wanted to jump off the railings because he felt ashamed, but suho explained that it was rose’s music that saved him from doing the same thing he tried to do which was of course suicide.

Needless to say, at least in this story suho’s love for rose was able to keep him alive and as soon as suho w able to convey that he had disappeared and asked rose to find him in the future. I chose to write about Suho’s story because I just want to put it out there that suicide and depression are real struggles and to please seek help as soon as you can. Back to ji yul and juno, they in fact had developed feelings for each other and ji yul was sent back because he was in car accident with juno and in the both of them lost their memory of each other that was why ji yul only remembered Jay and being a fan of unlock while not remembering the times he shared with juno and how much he loved him. This made. He was able to tell juno after some time that he is in fact from the future and the both of them tried different ways to preserve the time that they had before ji yul would be sent back. Ji yul tried to defy fate but it turns out the accident happened to juno being in the car without having him there, meaning things will still take its course and you can cheat fate. So ji yul grabbed juno who was still unconscious and put him into the passenger’s seat and said his goodbyes to him, wishing for them to meet again even though knowing that it could be impossible for them to be together in the future he drove into the upcoming traffic. Ji yul woke up again back in the time he belonged the only thing he can remember was seeing juno’s picture in front of him and tears leaving his eyes.

Omg this is a k-drama all in one package, this is where i’ll stop because the manhwa is not finished, so if you liked my summary of it so far please read the actual thing, you will not be disappointed, I promise you.

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Welcome to hell

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I don’t know how to begin this segment after writing all of that for the heaven’s segment, those stories were just so good compared to the trash that i’m about to share here. But most of the trashiest stories have more complex plot points than normal stories. I mean you need to go through hell to come out the other side right?

*warning* this section talks about mature content! 18+ only, read at your own risk!

Let’s begin then.

1) Private lessons:

“Hajoon has been crushing on Eun-woo ever since they started college together, but he hasn’t had any opportunities to get close with him. At least they have a class together this semester: a lecture taught by the popular Professor Seo Joohyuk. Hours after the first class, Hajoon remembers he left his assignments in the classroom. Upon reaching the lecture hall, he becomes witness and accomplice to a series of private lessons Joo-hyuk is giving Eun-woo—lessons that unleash his own deepest, riskiest desires.”

I’m starting off strong ...oh where to begin? This story has so many messed up characters, I’d have to say all three of them are messed up. Firstly I don’t care if your professor looks like a  dilf (urban dictionary if you don’t know what it means) you should never get involved with them. Lol. And I don’t know what school you people go to to have professors that look like this...all of mine were crusty old men who were mean and arrogant.

I makes me sick to think that there are some older men that would take advantage of people like the way Joohyuk did with Eunwoo and Hajoon. Hajoon just wanted to get Eunwoo’s attention, but because of joohyuk, he took “notice me senpai” to the next level. but I guess i understand from hajoon’s point of view that if he does nothing, he will never be change his relationship, so if he liked him then getting involve would be a way in. Eunwoo was so enthralled with joohyuk that he would just be a sex partner knowing that he would never have potential feelings for him in the end. I did feel sorry for him at first but then there was this part in the story where they were all preparing for this festival thing and he and hajoon were in a group and had to be waiters for the night of the festival, this was when eunwoo started to somewhat show interest in hajoon. Then that fricken dilf was like “you’re doing things on your own and i’m going to show you why you shouldn’t defy me...” or something like that, asserting dominance saying that eunwoo would always choose me over you to hajoon, and indeed on the night of the festival when he was supposed to work, shit went down between hajoon and this senior and fight broke out while hajoon was defending eunwoo , only later to find out that eunwoo was screwing the dilf in his office while all this was going on, I think i felt my veins snap...this idiot had the audacity to f around with that dilf while hajoon was working his ass off and even defended him. Smh....anyways in the end Eunwoo fell in love with hajoon and gave up on his feelings over joohyuk, knowing that joohyuk will always look at his other partner seojin. So in the end it worked out, but this whole story is a dumpster fire of trash.

So moral of this story is don’t get involved with dilfs, don't simp for them...lol. Just don’t do it. I don’t recommend this story for the content but if you are into trash and BDSM, then maybe this is the one for you.

2) Behind the scenes:

“Korea’s hunkiest top model Woo Taeyoung has decided to try his hand at acting once more. No more of those teen heartthrob roles, Taeyoung has his eyes set on a much more…mature role. And when he finds out his idol, the dreamy Koo Min-ki, is set to be one of the main actors of the film, he is even more determined to get the role as his co-star. The two seem to have a natural chemistry with each other…both on and off screen. Will this end up helping their performances? Or will it cause their worlds to come crashing down?”

This story is a also a dumpster fire of flaming garbage, it starts off with a model turned actor named taeyoung who works mainly as a model but is secretly a fan boy of another famous actor named minki and he went to his fan signing in disguise, only to be discovered by the fans and cause a racket and minki ended up injuring himself. This caused taeyoung to be able to meet minki in the most embarrassing way, but he wanted to make it up to him by helping him until his injury was recovered. One night minki was driven home by taeyoung and they ran into another popular actor named wonho...(monsta x..lol. i’m so kidding don't kill me...) and this dude saw minki coming out of taeyoung’s car and immediately became violent...

there it is red flag!

Turns out wonho was minks boyfriend, taeyoung only knew that his favorite actor minki was in a 10 year long relationship with his girlfriend, says the media, but he didn’t know that it was a man...and this violent piece of shit at that. Taeyoung had heard rumors of wonho being excessively violent to anyone who comes near minki and anyone who has worked with him always was threatened by wonho. So even though taeyoung reluctantly left minki with wonho he still was really worried, rightfully so.

Wonho is the worst kind of garbage out there; even being in a relationship he still forced minki into having sex with him. This is rape, even if you are in a relationship it means the same thing it’s non consensual and disgusting. Not only this but being violent to everyone that is near minki, is enough for anyone to end this relationship. But minki was that idiot who believed that the old  wonho he once knew  would come back one day and so this ongoing relationship abuse lasted for a long time. Taeyoung of course got an opportunity to make his acting debut, and auditioned for the of minki’s character’s lover, it was the first queer film in production so to the director it was a passion project that he wanted to see succeed. He passed the audition and showed his potential and chemistry with minki on screen very well, so the director was happy casting him in the role. But of course guess who finds out and showed up on the film set...wonho. He obviously made minki uncomfortable and also taeyoung, but in series of events taeyoung went to the bathroom and found wonho and minki making out inside and realized the person he admired was gay and was in a relationship with wonho for a long time. Later on he got to know minki more and found that he had romantic feelings towards him rather than just admiration. Because minki and wonho’s relationship was abusive minki was contemplating on ending it but didn’t have the courage to, it was taeyoung who showed genuine feelings for minki that was able to push minki to move forward. So while this was going on, wonho was in fact being sponsored by a certain person in order to get roles in his acting career, this person was taeyoung’s cousin...yeah i know messed up,. This dude is very toxic and made things go wrong between wonho and minki and that’s how their relationship went downhill for 10 years. Anyways to sum it all up a lot of stuff went down and wonho’s actions were no longer acceptable and as soon as minki found out this ongoing sexual relationship between wonho and taeyoung’s cousin, he broke it off with him finally and moved around different places for a while since wonho would not leave his apartment he couldn’t go back. Taeyoung and minki ended up dating each other now and he succeeded as a model turned actor with this role. Wonho after a series of events was able to let minki go after seeing him one last time and apologizing for everything he’s done to him. The movie was very successful and won many awards and the ending of the series just showed taeyoung and minki talking about their relationship on screen and off screen to the viewers...hence the title “behind the scenes”

Okay this trash made me angry and sad at the same time since it talked about a relationship that has gone bad and two people refusing to leave it since they have been together for a long time. You know when you should end things and if a person starts to change there is no way for them to be the same again. So all in all this story is really good for depicting all sorts of relationship issues and drama. I would say yes give this read because the story itself says a lot about the writer and how they think. This is one of those stories the pull you into the depths of hell and once you resurface your see things in a different perspective.

3) Turn off the camera:

“Yeon Jihoon is the leader of an idol group that’s hit a dead-end in their career. Now, he’s received a golden opportunity to save his group: a spot on the year’s most anticipated reality show, where he’ll spend two weeks living and filming with top stars Do Yoojin and Seon Yohan. The one threat to the show’s success? Yoojin and Yohan won’t stop having sex with each other. To stop a scandal from tanking the show and his career, Jihoon must keep his co-stars’ antics hidden from the cameras at all costs. Will Jihoon be able to keep these steamy shenanigans a secret for two weeks? And will he survive when both of his co-stars turn their attention on him?”

This is some straight up kinky garbage, like the description says, jihoon got the opportunity to promote his group by becoming a member in an upcoming reality show with two popular actors, the show is a reality show of the three of them living together doing daily activities while cameras are installed in their home. You can see where this is going right? When jihoon first arrived into the house to greet the other two actors; yoojin and yohan and he found the two of them in a room having doing sexual acts and even tried to cover for them when the camera crew arrived up stairs in the room.

After several attempts of the other two actors having sex at different points in time jihoon became very aware of the fact that they were doing this for the fun of not being able to get caught having sex on camera. So basically this was like a fun game to the two actors.

Yoojin and yohan were caught the third time by jihoon while having sex on the kitchen table and so the three of them had a discussion and jihoon made them sign an agreement not to touch him...of course that didn’t work and he was caught in unfortunate circumstances surrounding the both of them, to the point where both sex partners started to want to pursue jihoon for themselves.lol

This manhwa is just straight up kinky trash, it is meant to be a satire on three some relationships and not meant to be taken seriously, so just going by that, there’s not much point to the story, it’s not in depth it’s just interesting to watch jihoon reject these actors advances in order to save his virginity.lol. I feel like from the recent chapters jihoon maybe more interested in yoojin than yohan so i’m waiting to see if yohan even has a chance to be on jihoon’s radar.

This is still ongoing and it only has 20 chapters so far so i don’t have that much to say about it, this was just something really normal in terms of yaoi to read while I was reading some dark stories, the art is really nice too if that is of any interest to you.

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So there are a couple of series that are quite popular that I have left out because I have dropped then fairly early on.  one series called “Hate or Love” which i started a while back then and didn’t like the whole plot of having an abusive sibling forcing another sibling into a sexual relationship... i’m like nope...

This manhwa should have just been called “ Domestic boyfriend” I would have avoided it all together, because I have read “Domestic girlfriend” it is essentially the theme, and a giant dumpster fire of flaming garbage.

The main reason i stopped it was because the other person that I was hoping the main guy would end up with didn’t end up as the “ winner” well from what the comments said anyways, cause i stopped fairly early on when i found out the guy i liked was not going to be the end game, that makes me sad cause from the early chapters that i have read, there was a lot of sexual tension between the two of them and I was hoping this author would not push abusive sibling relationship as the plot...but looks like she did ...and i don’t care for it and find it gross...but that’s my morals, even if they were not siblings by blood they grew up together as siblings...that’s still vastly inappropriate. I'm used to it since I grew up with Japanese anime and manga with incest themes, but it still bothers me.... Vampire knight...

Even if they were not even related, i still would not like that red haired dude regardless cause his character seems like a dick, and i don’t think he suffered enough consequences for his actions to make him a redeemable character in my opinion. And also...out of 7 billion people on this earth, you would rather be with your brother...smh.

Also if we are talking about using sibling relationships in a sexual way as a plot line, then how i interpret this manhwa is that it is focused on more of glorifying abuse and sexual relations between siblings rather than making the subject matter more serious, if you know what I mean. But to each their own if you just read it because it interests you then feel free to do so, i’m not interested and decided to just drop it early on.

The other one is called “ Yours to claim” another popular series but again I don’t like dark haired dude,  I think he’s a dick and if it was me I’d choose the blonde guy, he seems like he would be a person that would treat me better. I just don’t understand the appeal of being treated like shit by people, if anyone treats you like that...please dump their ass! Because It’s not okay! Both of these have the “ other guy “ as the better option for a potential relationship but they always choose the other messed up abusive/ bad boy and i just don’t why...i just feel disappointed but literally not surprised since it’s an ongoing trope in any sort of romance based media.

But needless to say there is nothing for us as the audience to do but to read them, we don't make any calls on who the person ends up with and the plot lines that happen in the story, so that is that i guess.

I’m having a mental breakdown just thinking about these two series, i included then briefly cause they fall into this weeks’ theme of trash.

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MUSIC

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Nothing special to share in this department this month, mostly listening to podcasts .lol.

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K-DRAMAS/SHOWS

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The tale of nokdu:

I described this drama as the mulan reversal, if you know the story of mulan, she dresses up as a man and goes into the imperial army camp to fight in the war in place of her father, nokdu is an adopted child that was suddenly hunted down by a bunch of assassins one day and instead of fleeing with his father and older brother he decided to follow the assassin into the city since he was able to injure them in the leg. He followed the assassin into town and was almost able to catch them when he was suddenly arrested from a disturbance another young man in town has caused. Later he found out that the assassin was heading to a village that was out of sight and exclusively to women, in order for him to go in he would need to dress up as a woman, the opportunity arose when he helped a young woman escape from the village with her husband and she gave him her clothes in exchange for his to escape. He then infiltrates the village and now has to chase after the assassin and try to kill the mastermind behind the assault on his family. But what he discovers was more than what it seems. This is 16 episodes and is completed if you want to watch it; I recommend it since its really good.

True beauty:

Everyone and their mother is watching this web toon turned drama, I say this cause my sister who gave up watching any k-dramas watched this one and read it...this is something, she doesn’t like a lot of things so i decided to watch it after she told me it was good. I watched it and I didn’t like it mainly because the problems in here is very much a young adult type of problem, like having acne and having to deal with bullies at school, these are all problems you mainly deal with when younger so none of this drama is relatable so I didn’t enjoy it. If you like the high school romance drama setting you might like this, but I have watched so much more meaningful dramas, this doesn’t do it for me.

That’s all the dramas I have watched so far, I mainly have been listening to podcasts instead of watching anything, I find it hard to find an interesting drama to watch these days, I have been enjoying listening to people talk about nothing lol.

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ANIME

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Haikyuu:

Finished Haikyuu season 4 part 2, I left this for a while so that all the episodes were finished and every time I watch it i gives me the same feeling every time. This part focuses on a lot of characters that were not fully flushed out in the first few seasons, like tanaka and nishinoya and one of the bench players...i forgot his name. I really like their portrayal of hinata this season he really is the saving grace of karasuno, not because of his obscure skills in volleyball or incredible stamina but because he’s playing volleyball because he loves it and it is fun even if the stakes are high. I feel a lot of the players here this season were so stressed they forgot that the game is supposed to be fun, and he keeps reminding them that it is what it is and that they should live in the moment. I loved seeing that develop in his character because i feel like there was too much focused on kageyama for a while and I wanted to see more of hinata’s growth.

So I was pleased with season 4 and I can’t wait to see more, haikyuu is really one of those anime that people are widely talking about now and it really is well deserved.

Skate the infinity:

Another sports anime about skate boarding, the animation is really nice and art style is really beautiful. I know there are so many sports anime out there now but this one is really interesting, I like the relationship between the two main characters reki and langa, it reminds me of the friendship between riku and sora in Kingdom hearts, reki teaches langa how to skate board from scratch and langa being a previous snow boarder was able to race one of the best contenders in the underground skating rink and beat them in a match but of course he isn’t a genius so he wanted to learn everything from the ground up since he thought it was fun. Lol. I like seeing the progress so far in their skating journey, this anime is really wholesome.

Dr. Ramune mysterious disease specialist:

This is a very satire anime, It is really comedic and deals with a doctor treating weird diseases, like the first episode there was a girl with a disease that made her cry out condiments as tears. It's actually very interesting in terms of the types of diseases they treat in each episode and how he uses these magical items to do so, that is a really bad explanation for this show but please watch it .It’s interesting so far and I’ll write more as it finishes.

so as a finishing statement, I hope you all enjoyed the favorites for January, I have been able to catch up on a lot of things which is why I have so many things to talk about this month, I already have the next theme for the Hell segment planed out for next month, so I can't wait to share that, if you like the manhwa recommendations and my excessive ranting so far.

until then. please take care of yourself and your love ones ! lunar new years is coming up, have a great year and I hope 2021 will be a lot better please follow me on my social media listed below if you'd like

thanks!

sheena

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[yukarisensei]

Top 10 Anime of the Decade (incl. Winter Anime 2020)

Minna-san, akemashiteomedetōgozaimasu (Happy New Year)! It’s been awhile...sorry T^T. Life has been absolutely INSANE since the last time I posted, which was...omg September. OwO I honestly did not watch a lot of anime because real life has been so crazy. BUT that doesn’t mean I didn’t watch ANY anime. 

I was originally just going to post my annual Winter Anime Season post but after watching Joey: The Anime Man’s “The ULTIMATE Top 10 Anime of the Decade List” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqY25glHPxE) I wanted to look back and reflect on some of my favorite anime of the decade and share them with you guys as well. Like Joey I will also include some honorable mentions in the list. Without further ado, here are some of my favorite anime from this decade:

2010

Durarara!!

https://myanimelist.net/anime/6746/Durarara?q=durara

This was one of the first few shows that @perfectlynorm first recommended for me to watch when he and I reconnected back in 2015. I didn’t watch this show back when it first aired, but I really wish I did. The storytelling really stood out to me and I loved how all of the characters’ stories interconnected with each other. The seasons that came out later in 2015-2016 were great as well, but this first season was by far the best. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! (still one of the best romance/comedy anime to this day...I NEED A SEASON 2!!!)

- Shugo Chara (technically it aired years before 2010 but it’s one of the first few shows I got into during that year)

- Kimi ni Todoke (a slow burner but it’s still one of the few romance anime I go back to from time to time)

2011

Fate/Zero

https://myanimelist.net/anime/10087/Fate_Zero?q=fate

Again, this is another show that @perfectlynorm recommended back when I really started to become the filthy weeb that I still am. This was also the first show that introduced me to the greatness of ufotable’s animation. Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works was amazing, but this show really blew my mind. The animation, the story, and the characters were top tier amongst the shows I watched at the time. This is a show I could recommend to new anime fans. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 1000% (this show unlocked my love for idol anime, a very memorable part of my teenage years)

- Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (still one of the best Boys Love/Yaoi anime I’ve ever watched...still waiting for the day he officially falls in love with him ugh)

- No.6 (another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...that ending still hurts T^T)

2012

Kuroko no Basket

https://myanimelist.net/anime/11771/Kuroko_no_Basket?q=kuroko

One of my male high school friends recommended this to me...I wonder if he new that he was cursing me at the time. This show was my introduction to the sports genre in anime. To this day, this show is still one of my favorite sports anime. Yes, looking back on it now parts of this show are extremely unrealistic and is mainly loved by fujoshis, but if I were to introduce any new anime fan to the sports genre, this would be the first show on my recommendation list. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic (I started this show for the voice actors, I stayed for the story and characters, 10/10 would watch again)

- Sukitte Ii na yo. (another great romance anime that really builds the relationship between the two main couple...without holding out the kiss until the last episode)

- Kamisama Hajimemashita (loved the anime and the manga...I was sad to see it end and that the anime was rushed, but it’s another romance anime I could watch again)

2013

Attack on Titan

https://myanimelist.net/anime/16498/Shingeki_no_Kyojin?q=attack%20

Oh wow, @perfectlynorm​ recommendation lol. At the time, I would not have watched this on my own free will since I was (still am) weak to blood and gore. However, when I first watched this...I pretty much binged the entire first season within a week. I still remember the thrill and heart-pounding excitement I felt from watching each episode. I still have a lot of episodes to catch up on before the FINAL season (omg) comes out next fall, but I am excited nonetheless.

Honorable Mentions:

- Free! (ugh the fujoshi bait was so real in this show, but I LOVED it)

- Kuroko no Basket 2 (I was soooo hyped when I was watching this show, even while I would wait for each new episode during my Saturday ballet classes)

- Uta no Prince-sama: Maji Love 2000% (imo, the BEST Utapri season)

2014

Free!: Eternal Summer

https://myanimelist.net/anime/22265/Free__Eternal_Summer?q=free

At this time of my life, I just graduated from high school and was about to start the next big chapter of my life: college. This show really spoke to me back then because, like the characters, I was scared and uneasy for what happens after high school. I especially related to Haru’s uncertainty for the future and unwillingness to change. But as I followed his journey throughout the season I eventually felt ready to take the next step towards my future along with him. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (I DIED while watching this show, it provided so many laughs that I would recommend this to anyone)

- Akatsuki no Yona (love, love, love Yona and her harem of strong ikemen...I still feel proud that @lunastories​ absolutely FELL for this show)

- Haikyuu!! (one of the best sports anime EVER...I’m so so sad it’s ending soon)

2015

Kuroko no Basket 3

https://myanimelist.net/anime/24415/Kuroko_no_Basket_3rd_Season?q=kuroko

It was very difficult to choose a favorite anime for this year, but when I thought about what show I felt the most emotions from start to finish, I picked the final season of KnB. I was reading the manga while it was still being serialized so nothing in the show came as a surprise plot-wise, but to watch this show from the very beginning to the very end made me very emotional...until Last Game became a thing (god it still hurts T^T). 

Honorable Mentions:

- Ore Monogatari! (this has to be my FAVORITE romance anime, it broke so many romance anime stereotypes and i could watch it again and again)

- Haikyuu!! 2 (it’s haikyuu, nuff said)

- One Punch Man (still haven’t watched season 2, but omg I LOVED season 1, I still remember how much my friends and I laughed for each episode)

2016

Yuri!!! on Ice

https://myanimelist.net/anime/32995/Yuri_on_Ice?q=yuri

*deep breaths* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok. This show, as embarrassing as it is to admit, MADE 2016 for me. Like so many fujoshis and fudanshis, I ate this show up and awaited week after week for each new episode to air. I know there are so many criticisms about this show, but f**k the haters. For me, and for others, this show changed what anime could do: normalize a same sex couple without fetishizing it. 

Honorable Mentions:

- ERASED (a GREAT mystery anime, that brings a lot of feels and thrills 10/10)

- Boku no Hero Academia (omg loved it, scroll down for more of my thoughts about this show)

- Kiss Him, Not Me! (this is the anime for fujoshis, watch if you are or think you are one, trust me)

2017

Boku no Hero Academia 2

https://myanimelist.net/anime/33486/Boku_no_Hero_Academia_2nd_Season?q=boku%20no

I picked up the first season of this series before the summer 2017 anime season because of all the hype about it, and omg I was so excited for the second season. I eventually got all of my anime friends to watch it and they got so into it that we would do our first group cosplay together for the show at AX a year later. This show really made 2017 for me and I am very happy it is still so loved to this day...now I just need to start season 4 hehehe. 

Honorable Mentions:

- Hitorijime My Hero (one of my fav Boys Love/Yaoi anime cuz the main couple does not bang for every episode and actually TALK lol)

- Tsuki ga Kirei (a romance anime that i think accurately portrays an awkward, but sweet middle school romance)

- Recovery of an MMO Junkie (another fav romance anime, the main couple are absolute cinnamon rolls please please watch it)

2018

Banana Fish

https://myanimelist.net/anime/36649/Banana_Fish?q=ban

The ending of this show still breaks my heart, but this show was a huge part of 2018 for me. At first, the show’s brutal and violent themes startled me and prevented me from watching it when it first aired, but when @perfectlynorm​ convinced @passionateflame​ and I to watch this after AX 2018, I was blessed and cursed at the same time. Ash and Eiji’s strong emotional connection was what warmed and broke my heart at the same time. Rest in peace...my heart.

Honorable Mentions:

- IDOLISH7 (an idol anime that beats UtaPri to death...excited for season 2 in 2020!!!)

- Gakuen Babysitters (not only gives me endless amounts of feels and warm fuzzies, but also reminds me why i love working with kids)

- Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii (THE show for otaku)

2019

Fruits Basket

Although 2019 was probably the year I watched the least amount of anime, Fruits Basket was my favorite anime of the year. It was hard to pick my favorite and to narrow down the honorable mentions, but this anime was my most anticipated show of the year. I had high expectations going into it since the original anime was a huge part of my teen years, and I was definitely not disappointed. I’m so excited for the upcoming second season in 2020!!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Edit: ok I cheated by adding 4 but all of these shows were AWESOME!)

- Dororo (one of the great surprises of 2019, 10/10 would watch again)

- Demon Slayer (jumped on the bandwagon after AX and OMG I’m so glad I did)

- Dr. Stone (SURPRISE another @perfectlynorm​ recommendation...LOVED IT)

- Beastars (...I’m not a furry...but Legosi is best boy)

Here is what I am watching for winter 2020:

Haikyuu!!: To the Top

https://myanimelist.net/anime/38883/Haikyuu__To_the_Top

YES!!! My crow babies are back after a FOUR YEAR hiatus!!!

AND that concludes my top 10 anime of the decade list. I do not think my taste in anime has changed too much over the years, but within this past year I have come to be genuinely and pleasantly surprised over anime that I never would have picked up 10 years ago. So I guess I want to approach anime with a more open mind in 2020. 

I only plan to watch Haikyuu for this winter season because I am going to be busy with student teaching and finishing off my last semester in the teacher credential program at my school. But things might change...

Anyway, thank you so much for reading this MONSTER of a list if you made it to the end. Let me know what you guys think. What were you some of your favorite anime this decade? What was your favorite anime this year? Are you watching any anime this season? I hope 2020 starts off great for all of you! Matane!

[hootpoop12]

Theory time

Alright, so we all know through the context of this being written in a fanfiction/a03 format that this is all a play about canon VS fanon. What is a little hard to decipher is what are the things that are plays off fanon and which qualities are the true aspects of the characters(canon)? ANYWAY here are just a few of the things I am ASSUMING are plays off fanon based on my years in the fandom and sheer obsession of consuming this shit (trigger warning for everything taken place in the epilogue FYI):

-Dave: I think some of the main aspects of fanon influencing his epilogue version is intertwined with “woobifying”, “Slow burn”, and even possibly even “sexuality”. 

        -Woobifying is a fandom concept of reducing a character to “a cinnamon roll too pure for this world” someone you wanna baby (often applied to trans guy characters whether canon or headcanoned). This one is a bit of reach I’ll admit because it DOES makes sense that after years of living with Karkat the dude would soften up but there were times in the epilogue even Dave admits he’s gotten softer and the dude just plain out was very passive. In my time I’ve seen tons of depictions of Dave as a lot more emotional than shown in the comic or a lot more woobified in fics (like in meteor fics where he often has very dramatic emotional outbursts) By the way this is NOT me shitting on you if you like viewing Dave in that way because a lot people with trauma relate to him and use him for “cathartic release”(me fucking too lol). It’s more a guess/observation of maybe why he’s developed in this way due to the comic now being a strange sponge absorbing all fanon, good and bad, into it weird ass grasp.

        -Slow burn is likely the trope that plays into why the hell it took so fucking long for him AND Karkat to admit their feelings. If you have literally ever consumed Davekat content I’m sorry but 99% of it is slow burn lmao every meteor fic is pining, every coffee shop AU is the budding of a lifelong partnership, and every Harry potter furry inflation pwp crossover WHATEVER fic is 10k words building of sexual tension like......To bring their other relationships in canon into this we can see that Dave was able to flirt with Jade and Terezi and entered a relationship with them at a pretty normal rate WHICH can totally be attributed to the fact he views them as girls and himself as heterosexual so was much more comfortable making a move- sure. Looking at Karkat, however, and you see the dude is a little shy about romance sure but he was still able to flirt with Terezi and make awkward moves on John so like......I can’t help but to feel like something outside (us?) was influencing them?

        -Sexuality is another sort of reach but I think it’s something to consider. In terms of the comic....when exactly DID canon end? You could argue at the end of act 7.......or the moment John used his retcon powers to create a new timeline. Fandom Dave (on the tumblr side at least) was usually consider queer and a lot people shipped Dave with another dude. Perhaps John going back and rewriting canon helped bring our influence over Dave’s sexuality into the comic? I remember finding out Davekat was canon and confirming my “Dave is bisexual” headcanon and just thinking in wonder how it felt like Hussie was plucking my desires straight from my head and incorporating them. Which made me HAPPY by the way. If this is anywhere even near truth it’s not like he didn’t do a fantastical and natural job of incorporating it into the comic which shows how “incorporated fanon” is not a totally horrendous thing. The comics always done it with fandom memes and such. 

-Rose Lalonde. Not too sure what fanon influenes were brought onto her to be honest? In candy she was almost like a creepy stepford wife which is. Bizarre to me. Rose is the most contrary and rebellious character so seeing her settle down like that (OR FUCKING DOING SOME GUYS LAUNDRY) is a little strange. In meat she insists that she is an individual despite being married but that could have EASILY been Dirk’s influence? Also her biggest fandom stereotypes off the top of my head is Know-it-all smug meddler, alcoholic, and elegant. Really none of that was applied so still need to consider her more. The most damning thing however is where is all the piss?? If you look at the amount of piss kink rose fanfiction one has to wonder......and I can’t even continue this joke.

-Jade Harley: Gonna keep it real with ya’ll. I feel like this epilogue gave Jade Harley way more character. She wasn’t given much in canon except for lonely silly girl so it makes sense to me why she’d grow up desperate for physical bonds and inserting herself into relationships. I liked her telling John that she wasn’t some princess in a tower anymore cause it shows she KNOWS how everyone has always viewed her and that’s a little sad. As for tropes around her character.....yep people pleaser, silly girl, hippie, shoved aside for literally any other character......Need to think about her more, too. 

-Jake fucking English. What even is there to say? He more than anyone was influenced by fanon and it doesn’t take too much thought to see how. In a lot of fandom jokes and in fanfiction he is basically treated as a stupid piece of meat. I genuinely don’t read much fanfiction about him except from a trust few fans who I know care about him and will write him in a full rounded way. In any case we see a single moment in which Jake has this oppressive narrative taken away from him and it was when he was talking to Dave and Karkat during their election conversation. If that wasn’t already hard enough to read we can look back at the implied rape that took place with him in the beginning of Jane’s relationship with him or over the course of it. John, the one person supposedly not influenced by fanon as he’s still tied to the comic via retcon powers, is even the one to tell people that Jake is basically being raped. So yeah. Good times. I’ll get to Dirk in terms of Jake in a moment L M A O. Imagine that being the saddest lmao you ever just read.

-Jane Crocker: Welp hope you weren't a Jane fan lmao. What can I say except it FEELS like all the subliminal messaging really got to her and she’s like......warped by the condesce? I think if in the comic they showed more of her political takes then maybe this wouldn’t have come as such a shock. Like, I flat out am disgusted by her character now? She’s a facist, abusive, rapist(that was hint, unfortunately)? WOW good take homestuck writting staff?? I mean I know one of you used to write like incest pedo rape porn but aight??????????? Anyways in fanon Jane is treated as the girl who gets in the way of dirkjake so kinda that early 2000s bitchy yaoi girl brand, boring person in the background, or the hottie. They obviously kept saying she was “easy on the eyes” so there’s the hottie trope but that’s about it.

-Roxy Lalonde: Out of ALL the Alphas they fucking escaped with their goddamn dignity PFFT. So in terms of tropes: trans Roxy, alcoholic, and flirty “boy obsessed”. 

        -So with trans Roxy this is like Dave’s sexuality thing I discussed where a widely celebrated headcanon influenced canon and that not necessarily a BAD thing. Like I said, this theory is that canon is just absorbing fanon for better and for worse. I saw people were bummed they weren’t a trans girl but I am actually down with this for two reasons. 1) being all those memes “what’s your gender?” “the void” and 2) a part being friends with someone who’s trans is.....not being used to seeing them as the gender they actually are but taking the time to learn these new unfamiliar pronouns- and get the fuck over it. It’s their choice and you just gotta accept it despite your feelings. 

        -alcoholic Roxy was not at all incorporated which is the biggest fanon about her (not as much in recent years thankfully) so honestly? Kinda diminishes my argument. It’s not like the writers were worried that tossing out their progress as person was bad writing lol look at Dirk.

        -Flirty Rox. In candy they were SUPER fast moving in their relationship with John and despite towards the end they said that Dirk dying made them wanna do something with their life I just....don’t buy it? Mainly because john who is uninfluenced by the fanon tropes even noticed how fast they were moving and how stepford agreeable wife she’d become. 

-Dirk Strider. Aight. So. Here we go. fandom tropes are controlling puppet master, abusive, and cold/uncaring.

        -Dirk is a naturally controlling man, yes. Every version of himself struggles with this, yes. Even if we work on issues does not mean old flaws will never leak out, yes. However, after in the comic itself we see conversations with some of his closest companions and the effort he was making and ready to continue making was completely obliterated. Dirk is someone who takes his projects a little too seriously so why would he toss out this one- the most important one in his life? ANYWAY........Dirk in canon is shown that he’s also not great at multi-tasking or really anything that he really makes himself out to be AMAZING at. Don’t get me wrong I actually view Dirk as a complement dude cause he did get all the alphas into the session in a smoothish fashion (yes hal is him so it still counts) but, like, even when Dirk sounds like an AWESOME engineer to Jake he even admits that he basically had the future’s technology to help and it wasn’t that impressive. So now he’s claiming he’s the BEST? Wack.

        -Abusive Dirk......The sheer amount of people in the fandom who still misconstrue his character as heartless and the sheer amount of fanfiction of sociopathic Dirk might’ve done something. If he is truly becoming his “ultimate self” and he is heart aspect.....all these fanfiction splinters are getting applied to him as well, ya’ll. INCLUDING one of the epilogues writers who literally used to write fanfiction depicting Dirk as a brutally abusive and manipulative version of himself. With the similarities between their big fic and the homestuck epilogue I can’t help but to wonder if they’re subtly trying to incorporate that? After all Alt Calliope goes into detail about how the writer/narrator is IMPORTANT and when one is someone who enjoys viewing dirk as such....well who’s to say pfft Everything about how Dirk treated Jake was some of the most shocking to me. How did you get the guy taking most of the blame for a relationship gone wrong to a man who in a very rapey way makes someone obsessed with him, stupid, and unable to ever receive respect? Horrifying stuff to read, lads. It makes much more sense to me if you look at this fandom’s perceptions on DirkJake. My god there are some bad takes and there’s a whole section of the fandom who was hellbent on making the ship out to be the most problematic ship to ever occur. So whereas in the comic you have Dave pointing out that both sides had issues and everyone was willing to talk things out you had half the fandom insist that it was all Dirk’s fault and he just COMPLETLY forced himself on an unwanting Jake. Yep, sound familiar?

        -cold uncaring. yep tons of depictions of Dirk being cruel to his friends and family and sorry but go reread Homestuck I don’t even know what to tell you if you actually believe that. There’s literally nothing here I could write to help you. As if the whole thing about his character isn’t about how the people around him helped prevent him becoming like that and he hasn’t said in a dozen different ways how much he loves them and wants to treat them better. Get out of here with that shit lmao 

I guess all can be said about Dirk at this point is either 1) the absorption of the vast amount of terrible Dirk depictions from ascending to his ult self has warped him 2) he’s playing a villain just because Homestuck being over means not existing which TERRIFIES him and existing is a higher priority than treating the people around him right or 3) caliborn influence

        1) For the ascending I’m pretty sure this is the theory that’s gonna be right

        2) playing the villain is probably not what it is because on twitter all of the writers are saying the transphobia is literally just him and they’re boosting a lot of theories say “this is a story about friends you love disappointing you and you moving on” So. Yeah. Take that depressing nugget of information. (I literally will be fucking dead inside if that really is where this story is taken. No joke I will probably quit this fandom lol don’t know if any of you really know how big that is for me to say

        3) Caliborn? eh maybe who the fuck knows after typing that last bullet point out I’m too bummed to continue this hah

[ais-n]

How did you and Santino find each other? I love collaborative writing but I fell out with my previous partner and it's been pretty much impossible to find other people interested in it who also like writing the same genres. Any tips?

I think part of it is kind of random luck tbh. I’ve done collabs with… let’s see. Mostly 2 main people–Santino and a friend of mine from my early OP fanfic days. (Where are you Quatrina I miss you T_T) But I feel like I also have collabed with other people on other things?? Why am I totally spacing out on the entirety of my life right now omg I’m sorry to others I am forgetting :( It’s been a pretty distracting couple of months for me.

Anyway like with Quatrina, I met Santino through fandom lolz We were both in Gundam Wing fandom back then. There’s a longer tl;dr answer on the specifics of how we met here: http://www.aisylum.com/sonnyais/about.html  (our old About Us page) and here: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2013/11/09/qafaq-co-writing-for-a-decade/ (a Q&A we did specifically about cowriting for a decade so that probably would be good for you to read for other thoughts, maybe?)

I WROTE A LOT MORE BEHIND THE CUT:

I want to help you out but I also don’t know the best way to answer your question in a way that can actually be useful for you. I say that mostly because I think if you were to talk to just about anyone who knows me well whether IRL or online, I have a pretty forgiving personality. People can do a whole lot of shit to or around me and for the most part I’ll let it go if I feel like I understand why it happened and what I can learn from it. I also tend to be non-confrontational, so even though I’ll be pretty stubborn about some things, especially if I feel strongly about something, I also don’t like getting into fights over things and I rarely will push something to the point of no return, if that makes sense. My personality is more like, “Well, if it’s that important to you to do this thing and it’s that important to me to do this mutually exclusive other thing, then we can just take a break to figure it out and in the meantime have fun focusing on something else.” (This isn’t to say I never get bitchy or whatever–I do lol I’m also human. I just mean, my natural tendency is to avoid instead of confront.)

Because of all of this, I tend to get along with everyone or the people I don’t get along with I kind of just respectfully avoid or try not to bother because that seems like the simplest and fairest thing to do.

The reason that has anything to do with this is I’ve heard people say over the years they’ve tried collaborating and things fell apart or they had a hard time finding someone to collaborate with in the first place or other concerns/issues, and it seems like they may be having a more difficult time with it than my experience was. I’m not sure how much of my experiences are pure luck with the people I happened to meet, and how much is attributable to my personality.

Just generally speaking in my life as a whole, there are some things that I ignore or accept that I think other people will not, and that could be something that ends up having an effect on collaborations. Like, maybe most people would have a falling out over something that maybe I also should have had a falling out over but I just kind of went, “Oh. That’s how things are now? Well... ok, then. I guess.” and then I left it at that and didn’t really bother further on it. So maybe that’s why I’ve heard of such difficulties for others maintaining a collaborative environment and I haven’t? Maybe collaborations are inherently difficult and I just space cadet past some of it because I’m too forgiving as a person? Or maybe none of that and I just got super lucky.

I’m not sure if the way I explained that was confusing or what lol If it sounded like I was dissing anyone in that, I wasn’t. I just meant I sometimes realize I’m a super fucking weird person and there are times I have no concept of how “normal” people do things compared to my weird ass way of existing.

Ultimately I guess my point is just that I think any time a person collaborates they should inherently assume there will, at some point, be disagreements, and that those disagreements could potentially be pretty strongly minded and very different in their positions. So you just have to figure out a way through that. If you’re on the same wavelength as the person you’re collaborating with, most of the time it’s a short conversation and you’ve got it figured out. I do think both sides have to always be open and willing to adjust their position or mind on a topic, whether or not they ever actually change their mind/position o nthe topic. But without that decision to listen to the other person, any collaboration will probably be short-lived no matter the personalities involved.

I think another thing that can help is finding someone who has a similar pace as you or at least a complementary one. Like for example with ICoS, as you can tell from the many books Santino has solo released, he writes like 10,000 times faster than I do in terms of getting stories out there lol We both type really fast, both can throw out ideas and synthesize well, both know how to write and have fun coming up with stories, both come up with lots of ideas, and we both are capable and willing to finish what we started. But he’s much more disciplined about actually getting shit done on a schedule, whereas I’m much more like “lalala whatever works, man, whatever sounds fun” – and he’s better at making stories that are more to the point, whereas I complicate the shit out of everything (case in point with pretty much ANY post I make ever, including this one XD). For me, it’s pretty uncommon to just answer something succinctly and move on. I really like exploring the different sides of things–but that also means I have a tendency to really enjoy complicating the shit out of plots as well.

So for us, our paces were complementary because we worked really well with each others’ strengths and weaknesses, and we knew how to motivate and support the other person whenever it was needed. But that was probably in part because we’d been friends for a couple of years before we ever decided to write anything together.

I also don’t want to mislead anyone–despite the fact we started as friends and despite my non-confrontational personality and despite etc etc, Santino and I did have issues on and off over the years as we wrote. It’s just that while we were actually writing, we made a conscious effort to figure it out. Early on it was easy and fun, then as time passed it became something we more specifically had to work on because so much of our lives had also changed individually by then, so even something as simple as scheduling time to write became more complicated. Which meant, of course, so did communication in general.

The most important things I’d say you should look for is someone with whom you have mutual respect, and someone you can communicate with (especially when it’s a difficult topic--like, you need to be able to feel comfortable discussing a dissenting opinion on a topic with them). Also, you’d want someone with a similar level of passion as you in some form--most likely that passion would be writing, but it could be whatever else depending on the circumstances (like a passion for the characters or world or etc).

I think if you have those three things, you’ll have a good start for a new collaborator.

In terms of where/how to find someone– I mean, honestly, I’m a huge fan of fandoms. I feel like fandoms are a really good place to find people who have a passion for something that you also are passionate about, but they may otherwise be very different or very similar to you, which gives you lots of options. Also for genres, if you’re in a fandom of a genre you like, you may find it easier to find others who would want to write in that genre. But even if a fandom you’re in is not the genre you want to write, you may still find a friend or collaborator there who is willing to branch out. 

For example, before ICoS I mostly read/wrote fantasy, and the only realistic(ish) fiction I wrote or even read was fanfic. And even then I tended to gravitate toward fantasy or other similar themes. The whole genre of m/m and etc was something I didn’t even know existed (I mean, I read yaoi/BL manga but didn’t know anything about m/m books) and fiction was basically completely new to me for writing a long story in that genre. Especially dystopian-type fiction focused on secret agents and all that jazz. Santino and I both had zero background in writing that genre for a long story, but we just thought it would be fun to do and we were bored so we were like “what the hell, why not?”

So that’s why I think the person/collaborator is more important than the genre, and if you find a good collaborator, maybe try to ask them why they aren’t interested in the genre you want to do. Maybe you can find a way together to come up with a story or plot or characters that sounds fun to both of you, even if it’s a genre your collaborator isn’t used to. You could compromise in some way–like, you get your genre, but then in exchange they get a plot point or type of character or something you normally wouldn’t do. That could be a really fun way of exploring something new on both your parts, while also giving both of you something familiar to work with and have fun writing.

So I guess first of all–check for fandoms of things you like, see if anyone in that fandom might be interested in collaborating. If you aren’t a fandom sort of person, you could see if you might be interested in giving it a try for the right type of fandom. Of course, fandoms vary in size and accessibility of people so you may love something that basically has no fandom so you may not be able to get anywhere with that route. But I did want to mention that because in my experience, fandom is where I’ve met most of the people I collaborated with–if not all. (btw another thing you could try is if there’s a fanfic writer you really like, maybe you could figure out if it would be appropriate to approach them to see if they’d be interested in collaborating. That would be very dependent on the person/circumstances but it could be possible, maybe especially if it’s more of a niche genre or fandom.)

If the fandom thing doesn’t work, maybe you can check into RPGs (roleplaying games), online or in person. I’m not sure if you’ve ever done RPGs but that’s another good way to be able to write collaboratively without having to focus so much on finding someone specifically for a story/genre.

If you go with an original RPG (as opposed to an RPG based on characters from a series), you can create your own original character and you can even look for a genre you like. Although an RPG story itself is not a story you could publish later, for example, it may still be a really good outlet for you to interact while writing. Also, you may find someone in that group who jives with you really well and you two may decide to go collaborate on your own story outside of the RPG.

Ok but let’s say RPGs and fandoms are both not your things. In that case, try checking for writing groups in your area. Maybe there are some where they even have people looking to work on stories together, or maybe you can find some other interactive or collaborative option. I’ve never looked on scribophile.com for this, but that is a huge collective of writers. You may be able to go onto some forum or something there and say “Hey I’m interested in collaborating on a story in ___ genre. I’m thinking about it being about ____. Would anyone be interested?” and see if you get any replies.

Scribophile is not the only writing community so you may want to check elsewhere too for other big writing sites. For example, NaNoWriMo is huge in November but they have other stuff happening throughout the year. Maybe look into them--see if you can get in on a Camp NaNo with someone (check campnanowrimo.org), or look for forums or other places where you can interact with other writers and pitch your request for a collaborator.

Similarly, maybe you can post a plot bunny for an idea you have in a place where people post plot bunnies--maybe you could mention there you want to write a story like that with someone, and see what people say.

You may find you have to ask the question of “anyone interested?” a lot before anyone is. I do think that’s the less ideal way of collaborating--personally, I think it’s better to be friends first if you can, because I feel like that increases the chances that communication and mutual respect already exist between you. But I also know that everyone is different, plus there are times it’s nice to work with someone who is more of a “stranger” because it gives you an opportunity to explore both the world you’re writing as well as the person you’re writing it with.

Maybe you can even just do some short flash fiction with various people on some writing forum--whether it’s on scribophile, NaNo, tumblr, AO3, wherever.

I think the biggest thing would be to put yourself out there, to not take it personally if you don’t have a strong response at first, and to never let yourself lose the passion or interest you have in the story or characters or genre you want to write.

Now that I think about it, if you just want to collaborate with someone generally speaking but don’t necessarily care about having a book to publish, you wouldn’t have to wait for an RPG to pop up for you to join. If you like world building and wanted to create a world in your preferred genre, you could consider making your own original RPG and then advertising that asking for people to join. Then you could have the fun of writing with others and creating your own world, without the stress of finding someone you like without knowing if they’ll like your genre. If they join your RPG, that would inherently mean they’re cool with the genre of the RPG. Of course, keep in mind people come and go, and if it’s an original RPG world without a fandom to back it up you may find it a bit harder to get people interested at first, dependent on the story and all sorts of other circumstances. But that’s certainly an option for you to do if that sounds interesting.

For example, in ICoS all the Beaulieus and Lou came from an RPG that Santino and I made years ago because we felt like writing in a particular genre and it sounded fun to us. Also, Sin came from a different RPG that Santino and I both played, an RPG that was created/run by mutual friends of ours.

So the thing is, RPGs can be a fantastic way to create original characters, get a feel for their personalities, and you can very easily transplant them and rework them into a standalone story if you ever need or choose. For the fantasy book I wrote and am editing (Incarnations), 3 characters in there came from other RPGs (2 of them from Sin’s same RPG) so there’s a lot of flexibility.

Also, if you don’t want to create/run it yourself and you aren’t into a specific fandom and you can’t find an original world RPG you like, you could look into RPGs that have a premade world and rules and probably already have Game Masters running around willing to run them. I’m thinking of Vampire: The Masquerade as an example but that’s a bad example because people haven’t really played that much for over 10 years (STILL SAD ABOUT THIS Malkies are the fucking best I’m just sayin)--but there are other games out there along those lines or in totally other genres you could check out if you wanted.

If you’re like “wtf even though I don’t understand??” then if you live in a country that has Barnes & Noble or a robust library system or other big bookstores, go browse the roleplay/gaming section which, at least in B&N, is usually around the graphic novel area or the sci-fi/fantasy area. You can ask a bookseller where the White Wolf, Wizards of the Coast, or other roleplaying game books are. (WW and WotC are big gaming publishing companies so they may be like “wtf are you talking about?” at which point you could ask something like “Where are the Dungeons and Dragons gaming books?” or “where is World of Darkness?” I may be dating myself with these references I don’t even know lol)

Anyway whatever terminology they understand, all I’m trying to say is if you can a section in any bookstore or library with a collection of the roleplaying game books, that would give you an opportunity to browse them and see if any of the worlds seem interesting to you, and then you could look into them further to see if you can find games to join or create. (Obviously, you could also do this browsing online via google or whatnot; I just personally find it easier to browse things I know nothing about when I can physically wander a store looking at things instead of having to know the specific terminology to search online.)

I used to GM (game master, aka lead and create) tabletop RPGs for V:TM and other games, as well as play them as a character and not GM, also I LARPed back in the day (basically you cosplayed as your own original character in a designated spot where everyone pretended to be their characters too, it’s super fun). And of course I’ve done RPGs online like the ones I mentioned and more. Pretty much all of roleplaying is essentially collaboratively writing a story with other people--the main question being, are you only in control of your own character, of one character or multiple characters, and/or of the world/plot itself? There are options for anyone’s level of interest or commitment in rpg.

So that seems, to me, like if you’ve been trying more conventional ways of finding a collaborator and you’re coming up short, maybe this could be a way for you to try something new and see if it works.

Regardless, when you find that person or story or RPG or whatever that works for you and you want to explore, just remember not to get discouraged even if there are disagreements or setbacks, remember to always communicate as effectively as you can, remember to respect the other person and ask for that respect back, and most importantly remember to have fun. And if it turns out like it did with your previous writing partner, where you had a fall out and had to stop writing, then it might be a good idea to review that interaction and relationship, try to figure out where things went wrong, try to integrate that internally going forward and also try to come up with a coping mechanism ahead of time so you know what your response can and should be, should anything like that come up again.

If you fall out again with someone else, that’s okay. You can keep trying. If collaborating is important to you, you’ll find someone eventually who will complement you well. I think the biggest thing is to just not give up on dreams or interests, and to always try to learn from mistakes or miscommunication, and to always be willing to adjust as needed. I think sometimes people put this pressure on themselves to be perfect or find the perfect interaction or perfect relationship or perfect whatever, but I don’t think perfection really exists in reality. So planning for imperfection will probably help you a lot in the long run, and might cut down on some stress later that might have otherwise contributed to a souring of an otherwise good collaborative relationship. I hope that made sense and didn’t just sound super confusing...

It’s entirely possible none of this was helpful AT ALL. Sorry if so :( Hopefully you know someone else you can ask who can help more, if that’s the case. Actually, in that case, I would say you should definitely ask on a writing community like NaNo or scribophile or wherever. You may get better answers there :)

Regardless, I’m wishing you the best! I believe in you! You’ll find someone, and together you’ll write a story or work on a world that you’ll find really fun to write and will be fulfilling for you to explore. Good luck and I hope you find that person sooner rather than later!

[s-hadow-chan]

Moving blogs + a reflection essay

tl;dr -- I’m moving my main blog. Because lots of my views on life have changed, my life has changed, and obviously my tastes in fandoms have changed. I’ll put the URL here later once I’ve made it. To see how I got to this position and where I am now, keep reading ^w^

Note: This is just my own opinion as to how I’ve seen Tumblr over the past few years. 

Well, it’s the start of a New Year. I haven’t been active much in 2017 but I’ll try and be active this year. Thanks to all the people who’ve helped and supported me this year and the following people who have made my life on Tumblr : *a list of people I rarely talk to anymore*

....Is what I would have said perhaps a year or two ago. I’m still glad I’ve joined this site and had conversations with some KnB fanatics like I was. However, I haven’t talked to them in a year. The only people I usually talk to on this site are basically nonexistent. I mean my friends from high school technically, but I talk to them irl during classes and lunch. The truth is that I have not been active on Tumblr for the past year. And my activity on the site was starting to wane in 2016 as well when I accidentally deleted my main blog last year when I was actually trying to delete a side blog I was working on. But that’s besides the fact as to why I’m moving. I’ve changed quite a bit since 2014 when I first joined Tumblr. My views of the world have changed, my life has changed, even the tiniest things such as my fandom tastes have changed. Because of this change, I’m moving to a new blog. Since you’ve decided to keep reading, I’m going to write a long detailed essay about the three things that have changed with me: my taste, my views on the world, and my life in 2014. You have the complete freedom to click out anytime ^w^

The fourteen-year-old me has a different shit taste in anime than the shit taste I have in anime now. Obviously, no one person can stay the same. If you’ve reblogged the little posts I’ve reblogged from other blogs (try saying that five times lol) notice how there’s barely any Hetalia or Kuroko no Basket or Haikyuu for that matter. Even when I’ve been active for the past few days, it’s been more positive posts, memes, and occasional anime of Hero Aca and such. So really if you want to know what I’m into at the moment, it’s Honeyworks, Hero Aca, Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April), food, study things, any Makoto Shinkai film (doesn’t have to be Your Name but it can be) and always memes. And getting off from the high of finishing Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches, I’ll be looking for that too. Also, notice the decline in squealing yaoi fangirl that used to squeal in the tags section about two dudes cross-dressing. Ah, yes. The Hetalia days of where I’d ship APH America with everyone and just had a huge obsession with APH America. The title of my blog (on mobile anyway) is still a quote from the dub haha.  To be fair, that squealing, yaoi fangirl did have a brief revival when Yuri on Ice was still airing. I still have a soft spot for the anime as it was very good (and still is, Phichit will forever be an angel) and I absolutely LOVE Makkachin still. But for the most part, I have mostly lost the whole yaoi fangirl that I once was in Freshman year of high school who still loved shipping countries together. Why I deviated from Hetalia is another post unto itself.

I mentioned how I haven’t been posting a lot of kurobas lately. Yes my interest has waned in the show, but I still appreciate what it’s done for me in my high school years. I still have a quote from Aida Riko back in the earlier chapters of the manga hanging on my wall as I work on homework: “I want you to have a big concrete objective and the will to achieve it.” I won’t deny, KnB really helped me set the mentality I needed to tackle high school -- to keep pushing myself to become a better person. Whether I fulfilled that expectation or not is debatable. But as always, the inspirational quotes of KnB will undoubtedly carry me onto college too.

Now don’t get triggered when I say that Tumblr can really take leftist ideology to the extreme. It’s definitely right to treat everybody equally no matter their skin color, gender, sexuality, shape, size, disability, etc. Basically, everyone deserves to be treated equally. That’d definitely fine and it’s the right way to live life after all. However, it first hit me in Junior year that Tumblr was getting annoying. The whole “the straights are terrible” and “white men should burn in hell” preaching gave Tumblr the black and white views of the world without any grays (or greys however you spell it) in between. Now I’m a straight CIS female. I’ve got good friends who are asexual, bi, lesbian, etc. I will say this, but I doubt it will be heard by the screams of hate against a straight CIS gender like myself: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR DAMN SEXUALITY OR GENDER OR COLOR OR WHATEVER IS AS LONG AS YOU ARE A NICE PERSON! If you are a trans, gay Hispanic (an example, not pointing you out) who treats other people terribly, that means I will flip you off and beat your ass (to some extent of this statement). Not all straight people are bad and not all gays are good and it goes for every demographic that exists ever.

Though it may seem that I am blaming all of Tumblr for acting this way, I am. But I can’t forget that I too, once had a black and white view of the world. As a fourteen-year-old who was very much shielded from the world because of a private Catholic school with conservative parents who are very well off, I had an inkling of what the rest of the world was like. And I feel like the people on Tumblr were just as uneducated about the world as I was. By no means do I know everything about the world now. A seventeen-year-old who hasn’t even finished high school will never know how the me from four years from now feels. I am just saying that my opinion from leaning so far left a damn tree would break has become more moderate. This website made me think: gosh being straight and CIS is uncool and being a normal functional being with no anxiety or depression isn’t normal too. I need to be bi and genderfluid! That was stupid thinking. Right now, I’m completely fine with being a straight, CIS female with no mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety who will gladly respect your pronouns.

Now life is really crazy. It was crazy in 2016, and it was crazy in 2017 too. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I’m from Las Vegas, Nevada now did I? Times have changed man. I don’t think I would have said that when I was 10 on a website lol. But yeah if you’ve somehow been scrolling this far down I commend your efforts. And I’m sure you’re getting really strained rn. So get some water, take a break, I’m sorry if you can’t get to a laptop or computer right now. Don’t read this in one go. If you’ve returned or decided to read straight on through welcome back or good for you respectively. Now I’ll repeat that again. Yes, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. Right where Stephen Paddock decided to shoot from the 37th floor of Mandalay Bay onto the Route 91 Harvest Festival where over 500 people were wounded and 50 people were killed and where three students from my school were at on Sunday night (they were unharmed physically I believe). I found this out when I was tucked in bed at home, far from the strip checking my friend’s snapchats before I fell asleep. For the largest mass shooting in modern US history to take place in an area where my family would take our extended family to dinner or where we once had a New Years Eve celebration at the Vdara, is sickening. My cousins and I used to go to Mandalay Bay and hang out at the pool and stay the night because it was Spring break back when we were in middle school. My mom’s 40th birthday was at the Mandalay Bay. It’s terrible. I know how those people in Orlando and Colorado and everywhere else in the world feel when a mass shooting happens and completely disrupts your life. I’ve barely even been to the strip this year. The fact that a terror attack happened in my own backyard is beyond words. It makes me angry that some bastard decided to fuck up the lives of everyone in my city by ruining a good time at a concert. It makes me sad when I read a Washington Post later about a group of girls who went to a Lutheran school were affected by this event mentally and some even physically by this event. And that in turns makes me pissed off that some dude ruined the lives of teenage girls exactly like me, who were worried about the SAT and ACT and AP Classes and college. Fuck him.

So that’s my feelings on the shooting a few months late. But remember that I live in Las Vegas. You can’t just forget a mass shooting that happened in the city you live in. I’d mention how people would disagree with me that other events on the strip have happened such as a robbing at the Bellagio (it’s always the Bellagio man! That’s my fave part of the strip with the dancing waters and the seasonal garden inside like man they don’t deserve that) and etc. but feel free to disagree with me when you submit an ask dear anon.

Now on a somewhat lighter note, high school will forever be stressful. Going to the best high school in the state is stressful when all your friends have a nonstop grind to be one of the valedictorians (apparently you can have more than one?? I had no idea until I went to high school). Though I am nowhere near becoming a valedictorian, I still have plans to graduate with high honors ( wearing white for graduation) because half of the people graduating will wear white because it’s a magnet school dammit we’re kinda smart. AP classes have been part of my workload since Sophomore year which is right when I deleted my blog, but I managed to keep my activity up somewhat. Junior year slumped in my activity big time. APUSH is hard you guys. That’s it. I believe I posted a reflection at the start of 2017 detailing a bit more of this. But the difference this year is that I’m a senior in high school. That means college and scholarships. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in Nevada. I either stay in Las Vegas and attend the university there or I head up to Reno, which is like a 6-hour drive from home or just an hour flight. That means living in a dorm away from everything I’ve known. And that includes my boyfriend.

The biggest change in my life between Freshman year and now is that I’m taken! And honestly, it was the biggest fucking plot twist of 2016 (and the largest failed segway of 2018 thus far). I’m dating the largest weeb at my school ever and I’m happy dammit. Most of the time. I’ve learned a lot from being in a relationship like how to shut the fuck up and listen and appreciate more in life. By no means was my relationship perfect either. We’ve had a lot of fights. I’ve mentioned this in my reflection of 2016 at the start of last year so the rundown is that we’ve been together a year and a half now. I’m in a healthy relationship. Then college comes in and says hi. Now my boyfriend has decided to go to the university here in Las Vegas. I’m still very unsure as to where I want to go next. After all, the decision as to where to continue my education lies with me and I’m running out of time (I’m procrastinating on the decision right now lol). Four years ago, I had dreams of going out of state to either a UC school or the United States Airforce Academy in Colorado, until I learned that school outside of my state is expensive so I decided to stay within the confines of Nevada. 

And honestly, that’s where I’m at right now. Thanks for reading this long ass rant. I spent an hour or two typing this up. I just have a lot of feelings haha. I hope everyone has the best year ever. If this is after I’ve posted my new URL, go follow me there. But for now, thanks for all the support thus far and especially for reading this long ass rant. See you!