#sorry if this comes across as overly critical i swear i don’t truly hate babies and kids
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I love that when I start questioning my child free stance in life, the universe IMMEDIATELY reminds me of why I don’t want kids. 🙃
#i had to do a short visit with a woman today and got to listen to her baby scream for 15 solid minutes#i could BARELY focus on what i was doing because it was so distracting and i couldn’t even put headphones or something in#i ended up ending the appointment sooner than i would’ve liked because i couldn’t take the screaming#but even then they STILL stuck around for several minutes because she apparently simply had to nurse then and there#which normally wouldn’t have been an issue but i’m booked back to back all day today and NEEDED to get the room ready for the appointment#and you can’t really do that when you have someone breastfeeding and a baby daddy who did fuck all to comfort the baby#i will NEVER be cruel to a baby or small child#but i avoid them as much as humanly possible for this VERY reason#loud shrill noises like that fuck with my head#and it’s even worse when i’m in a position where I’m ‘’trapped’’ and can’t just leave and go elsewhere#the amount of rage and irritation i feel when i hear a screaming baby/child is actually scary to me#like i was getting close to snapping and demanding her baby daddy gtfo with the baby so i could actually focus#i could sense that feeling coming though and wanted to avoid letting myself get to that point so I ended the appointment early#it’s this rage that makes me staunchly child free#the LAST thing i want to do is create a life that will have to endure me resenting it for triggering my noise sensitivities#sorry if this comes across as overly critical i swear i don’t truly hate babies and kids#i just get FAR too overwhelmed and overstimulated around them so it’s better for everyone that i enjoy in small doses from a safe distance#i will HAPPILY be the cool aunt that plays video games with you and lets you eat Cheetos for dinner#but i could NEVER be a mother#at least not a GOOD mother that is and that thought distresses me more than the thought of kids themselves 😬#i’m fucked up as it is i couldn’t forgive myself if i fucked up some poor kid too#child free#childfree#sorry for the whole rant/ramble in the tags here#just REALLY needed to vent because that was stressful af for me
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