#which normally wouldn’t have been an issue but i’m booked back to back all day today and NEEDED to get the room ready for the appointment

[dragonanon]

I love that when I start questioning my child free stance in life, the universe IMMEDIATELY reminds me of why I don’t want kids. 🙃

[theoutsiderscomfort]

I just posted Dally headcanons but I’m bored sooo

Darry Curtis Headcanons

This guy was either going to do something to do with sports or teaching in college

Would of become a athlete trainee or physical therapist

Basically just take any job that involves sports or helping people

Maybe even a coach or gym teacher

Once Ponyboy and Soda go off into the world, he would go to community college or night classes to get a degree

It wouldn’t be as big of a degree as everyone has expect he would get but at least it gives him a foot into a better job

He is autistic. Undiagnosed. No one really picked up on it because sports is his special interest which is normal for kids and teenage boys

He is kinda of like Dally where he just pushes through his sensory issues and they keep building up until he snaps, most likely at Ponyboy

Honestly I might make a seperate post just to ramble about all my autistic Darry headcanons

He doesn’t cry often but sometimes he just goes into his parents old room and just cries while his brothers are asleep

He misses his parents so bad but he has to be strong for his brothers

I’m not saying him and Paul use to date back when his parents are alive but I’m also not not saying that

It only lasted a few months and then his parents died and Paul left

Most of these have been angsty so time for some silly one to lighten the mood

Ponyboy and Soda convinced Darry to dress up as superman for Halloween one year and it was the greatest moment for the rest of the gang

Him and Pony used to be best friends when Pony was little. He just loved when Darry would lift him up high and make him “fly”

Sometimes Darry thinks about back when they didn’t use to argue and miss it

Wait I said I wasn���t going to do any more angst headcanons for Darry but that one just slipped out

Darry would make sure that he saves up small bits of his pay to be able to buy Ponyboy a book every once in a while

I have so many headcanons for Darry because he is on my top three favourites so maybe I will make a part two one day

[mymoodwriting]

Request for @heemingyu (Stalker Hyunjae) 4.2k, yandere, stalking, creep, paranoia, kidnapping, drugs, imprisonment, starvation, dehydration, needles, non-con, smut, penetration, hickeys (@starillusion13)

“Did you notice the guy staring at you?”

You were expecting stares. It was a costume party, and you were dressed like a fallen angel. You stood out with your torn up white dress, tilted halo, and ruffled wings. Although your friends told you that this particular person was interesting. You sneakily glanced over to see this scary clown mask staring in your direction. It didn’t mean they were staring at you, but your friends were certain. They had been hyping you up all night about your outfit, if anyone was gonna get stares tonight it was gonna be you.

“Well, I’m not really looking for anyone. I just came out to drink and have fun.”

“Amen girl.”

You didn’t pay much attention to those who were looking at you. Like you told your friends, you were here for a good time. So you danced and talked with others, drinking and snacking the night away. As morning began to creep up things died down, and you soon found yourself face to face, kinda, with the masked man.

“So, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

“What?”

“I love your costume.”

“Oh, oh! Right, right, sorry, I’m a little tipsy.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay… so, how’s Earth?”

“What?”

“Sorry, just trying to flirt with an angel.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Maybe it was the alcohol, but this guy was a little funny. You spent some time talking, sharing vague things about one another. You were both university students, but didn’t specify which you attended. It was probably the same since you were both invited to this party, but still. You had different majors, so the chances of running into each other was slim.

“Y/n, you ready to go?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” You perked up. “It was nice talking with you, have a good rest of your day.”

“You too.”

You said your goodbyes and went with your friends, returning to the dorm. It was just another party night for you, and the next day it was back to normal life. You hadn’t had too much to drink so the morning headache wasn’t that bad. At least you wouldn’t have any issues with your job. You were a good student and managed your time well so you worked part time at your campus library, organizing the books, putting them back on the shelf, and answering student inquiries. You lived a simple life, but I guess everyone needs some excitement. 

You began to notice this boy was at the library everyday, or at least when you were always working. Of course a lot of people would be at the library, but what was strange was his seat choice. Only one table was near the front desk, and no one ever sat there since you’d be able to see them and immediately call out any inappropriate behavior. You tended to use it to organize books you needed to return to the shelf, so it was strange to see it occupied. Then again the student seemed to be very focused on their work, and could also be a freshman. That table would be guaranteed peace and quiet though, so it’s the best option for that. Exams were also right around the corner, maybe they’d disappear by then.

You paid them no mind though. They never spoke to you, and you never caught any lingering stares. As far as you could tell they were a good student. You figured the strangeness would end there, but then you began to see this person elsewhere. He seemed to be at this cafe you visited a lot, and then out in the halls between your classes. Now you were certainly convinced he was a freshman, or had changed majors recently. Still, you weren’t quite sure why you had suddenly noticed him. Most of the time he had his head down, so you rarely saw his face, and yet you always seemed to recognize him.

It could all really just be happenstance. Even if the university was huge, you’d be likely to run into certain faces over and over again as your routines would cause you to cross paths. There was really no reason to get so worked up about it, and it’s not like he was bothering you. As far as you knew, he had no idea you were around him so often, you’re just the weirdo for noticing him like some kind of stalker. So with that mentality you finally put those thoughts to rest, and let him fade back into the background. You focused on your own classes, and were so relieved exams were over. To celebrate you and your roommate decided to binge watch a show you both had wanted to see, getting some alcohol and ordering food. 

While you waited on your roommate to get back you peeked out the window, looking up at the moon. You really wished you could see the stars, but that wasn’t likely around here. Then you glanced down at the campus courtyard, hoping to see your roommate on the way. Instead you caught sight of someone with a camera, aiming it up at you. Immediately you stepped back, closing the curtain. Your mind was racing with what you had just witnessed, and you couldn’t bring yourself to peek out the curtains again. At that moment you heard the door unlock, hearing your roommate announce their return. You went over to them, asking them if they saw anyone suspicious in the courtyard, but according to them everything was fine.

“What’s up?”

“I… I think I saw someone with a camera outside, and they were pointing it at me.”

“Well, aren’t you the center of attention?”

“I’m serious, Misu.”

“Then let’s take a look.”

“What!? No! Don’t-”

You couldn’t stop Misu as she went over to the window and pulled the curtain open. She looked out at the courtyard, not seeing anything. You were carefully peeking over her shoulder, eventually seeing the same.

“See, there’s no one.” Misu commented. “Have you been watching scary movies?”

“What? No, not at all.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

“No, I swear I saw someone there.” You remarked. “What if someone is watching me!”

“I think you’re being a little paranoid. So just take a deep breath and calm down.”

You glanced out the window again, not seeing the same figure as before. Maybe you were being paranoid and just jumping to conclusions. You decided to focus on the good things of the night. You both stayed up till early morning. Although in the coming days that feeling of being followed and watched came back. You noticed that person from before more and more, but you kept telling yourself you were just paranoid. It didn’t make it easy for you to go back to the dorm, so you decided to call up a friend. They had their own place off campus, and you asked if you could stay over the weekend just to calm your mind.

Thankfully they had no problem with it, and it put you at ease. You brought some clothes and your school stuff, intending to get some work done. Your friend trusted you, so they had no problem leaving you by yourself in the evening as they went out to work. You double checked the doors to make sure everything was locked, and glanced out the window too, but there was nothing. After getting your work done you figured you could unwind so you took the spare key and went out to get yourself some snacks.

You browsed the chip aisle, already having a few items in your basket. The night felt perfect for some instant ramen. As you made your way to the counter you accidentally bumped into someone. You apologized but they didn’t seem to care. You couldn’t see their face since their hood was up, but you figured they probably had some headphones in. You paid for your items and headed out, munching on some chips in the process. Although you began to get chills down your spine. You stopped and put the chips back in the bag, and out of the corner of your eye you noticed the hooded figure from the store.

You told yourself it was nothing, and continued to walk, but you were very much aware that they were going the same direction as you. Again you told yourself it was all in your head, so you made a wrong turn just to see, but they stayed behind you. When you stopped they stopped, when you sped up so did they. You didn’t know this place, so you had no idea where the nearest police station was. The best idea you had right now was to get back to back and call the police from there. You couldn’t stay calm for long though, instinctively breaking out into a run. You probably wouldn’t lose them but you needed to create some distance.

You didn’t dare look back, pushing yourself beyond your limits. If you could just make it everything would be fine, but then everything happened so fast. You felt a weight on your shoulder, followed by some pressure. You were yanked back, hitting something solid, and then there was something over your mouth. It had a weird texture and you soon realized it was some type of cloth. Although that didn’t help as you were breathing in this strange sense and starting to feel this weight dragging you down. Your efforts to free yourself were in vain, and ultimately you scummed to the darkness.

🖤

As you began to regain your senses you felt panic rising up. Even with your eyes open there was still darkness, and you felt some kind of cloth on your face, a blindfold. You removed it, but that didn’t make things any better for you. There was still an endless darkness around you, and when you moved you heard a chain.You began to feel something cold around your ankle, reaching down to feel a metal cuff connected to a chain.  You followed it to a wall, feeling the coldness of concrete, it was all around you. There had to be some way out. You tried to get the chain off, but the padlock told you that you’d need a key. 

Instead you opted for finding a door. You crawled around, going as far as the chain would let you, but you didn’t find much else besides two other walls, and no door. With no other option you began to scream, crying out for help. You didn’t know if anyone could hear you, but you had the slight hope that was the case. When you heard a door open a bit of hope sparked in you, then the lights came on. You had to shield your eyes and give them a moment to adjust, but once you could see your heart sank. A boy stood by the door, and you recognized him. He had the same hoodie from the store, except now you could see his face. The boy from the library, the one you saw everywhere. 

Then you noticed the wall in front of you, the one you couldn’t reach. It was covered in pictures of you. Some were lifted off your socials, but most were original. You weren’t looking at the camera, but you saw yourself in your costume party outfit, at the front desk of the library, ordering at your favorite cafe, and worst of all, staring up at the sky from your dorm window. You hadn’t been crazy that day, you hadn’t been crazy and paranoid from the start. He smiled at you and approached, causing you to scramble back till you hit the wall.

“…wa… what do you want from me…?”

“You don’t remember me?” The boy questioned. “That’s okay, I just want to take care of an angel.”

“An angel… what….” You thought for a moment and then realized what he meant. “The costume party… you were the one in the clown mask…”

“Oh, you do remember me, I’m touched.” He sat down in front of you. “I thought you were just being nice at the party, but I was so happy to learn you were single.”

“What?”

“I didn’t really know how to approach you, but this way I know you won’t leave.”

“This… this is kidnapping… this is wrong, you can’t just do this to someone…” You remarked. “I’m not some angel, you could have just approached me and said hello.”

“You weren’t interested in me though, you would have given me your number at the party if you were.”

“Well you could have taken off your mask to establish trust. I wasn’t gonna just hand out my number.”

“Still, it’s better this way.”

“No. Let me go.”

“I can’t do that. I put a lot of work into this and you’re the last piece I need to complete it.”

“I’m not some toy!”

“Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be okay.”

The boy got up and disappeared for a moment, returning with a good try. He happily sat back down, closer than before, sliding the tray over.

“Here you go. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

You glanced down at the food, not entirely sure you could trust it. Furthermore the smile on his face was unnerving, and you hated this whole situation. So you reached over and flipped the tray, spilling everything. He quickly got to his feet, glaring at you for a moment then taking a breath.

“You’ll come around.”

He cleaned up the mess you made and took back the tray and utensils, leaving you alone. Now that you had light you could better examine your surroundings. There wasn’t much though. The walls were bare except for the collage on the one in front of you. There was a pillow and blankets folded in the corner, and the chain on your ankle was hooked to the wall. You tried to tug on it but it was new and bolted down tightly. There wasn’t really anything you could do to help your situation.

You had no sense of time, so all you could do was wait. The only thing that happened was your hunger pains growing. You whimpered, hands around your stomach. At this point you knew you had been here for hours, and were slowly drifting off when the door suddenly opened. You jumped, now on alert and seeing your captor walk in with a bowl. He came to your side, setting it down to reveal water and grabbing the cloth draped over his shoulder. He intended to clean you up, and he even though you resisted he kept grabbing your limbs. Eventually you just let him be trying to see if anything on him you could use.

Instead your eyes drifted over to the bowl of water. You were hungry, but most of all thirsty. As he was distracted you reached over to the bowl, cupping your fingers together to get some water. Your hand was immediately grabbed and everything spilled over. He stared at you with a curious look, then your stomach betrayed you by growling. He laughed, asking if you were hungry but you denied it. So he merely told you to let him know when you wanted to eat. When he finished up he left you alone again. You tried holding out but the lack of food and water was weakening you. If you had any plans of escape you needed your strength, which meant you needed to eat.

The only problem you had was that you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t see any cameras in the room, yet he told you to let him know when you wanted to eat. You also had no idea what your captor’s name was, so all you could do was scream. Although considering your state it wasn’t long before you felt your voice go hoarse. A while after you couldn’t scream anymore they returned. They brought you some water, as well as some soup, feeding you. There was a chance something was in the food, but hunger would win out right now. 

“Do you feel better?”

“…”

“It’s okay, we’re making progress.”

He smiled softly and pet your head. He picked up the dishes and made his way out, but there was something you had to ask.

“You… your name…”

“My name is Hyunjae.”

Now that you were alone again you had nothing to do but stare at the wall, looking at all the pictures. You analyzed every picture over and over again, thinking back to the moments they showed. So many were far apart, different times of day, different days of the week. All you could see was admiration and dedication. He spent so much time on you, and you could see in all the pictures that there was care and love. It made your heart flutter when it shouldn’t. Yet all you could do was stare at those pictures and wonder. At some point you decided to sleep. You didn’t know for how long you slept, only waking up when you heard the door open. Hyunjae had returned, bringing what you assumed was breakfast.

You didn’t need his help this time around, so you ate like a normal person as he fondly watched. It was eerie, but you needed to eat so you did your best to ignore it. There was still so much running through your mind, and now that you could think clearly you figured you should try to get some answers. If you could understand this whole situation then you’d have a better chance of convincing him to let you go. He seemed to care about you, so that means to a degree his guard is down which you could use to your advantage. After eating you mumbled a soft thank you, getting a happy face from him.

“… why… why didn’t you approach me… after the party… was I not… good enough?”

“No! Absolutely not! It was me.” Hyunjae explained. “To me… you were an angel… so how could someone like me just say hello. I’m a sinner but you… I have to protect you, it’s my duty.”

“It’s not necessary. I lived my life just fine before I met you…”

“Which means you don’t know how cruel the world can truly be. I have to shield you from all of that.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to.”

“No. I don’t want you to.”

“It’s okay, I understand things must be confusing. Someone like you might not understand what you need, but I’ll take care of everything.”

You were honestly trying to reason with Hyunjae, but the more you talked to him the more you began to realize he was delusional. Kind words weren’t gonna work, so you needed to get your point across.

“I am not going to be your pet! So get that idea out of your head!”

“You’re not my pet.” Hyunjae leaned in close. “But my lover.”

To your surprise he kissed you, and you kissed back. His sudden actions were distracting, so you didn’t notice him reaching into his pocket for something, not until you felt a pinch in your neck. You moved away just as he pulled out the needle. You reached up to the puncture point, freaking out, but Hyunjae didn’t seem concerned.

“It’s okay, there’s nothing to worry about.” Hyunjae explained. “Now that you’re in a better state I can properly start taking care of you. For one, I have some medicine for you.”

“What did you give me!”

“It’s just something to relax you so you don’t stress out so much, and it’ll make you happy.”

“You drugged me!”

“It’s medicine.”

“No… no you’re crazy…”

“I know it must seem scary but everything is going to be alright, trust me.”

You tried to move as far away as you could, but Hyunjae grabbed you and pulled you into his arms. You struggled, but you began to feel your strength drift away as this fog began to cloud your mind. Your breathing became steady, and Hyunjae’s embrace became a welcomed warmth. He was gently rocking you in his arms, leaning down to kiss your head.

“There, there, everything is okay.” He soothed. “Just take a deep breath and relax.”

You were trying to think, to understand your surroundings, but your eyes always landed on the wall of pictures. Hyunjae eventually followed your gaze.

“Ah, you must have so many questions. When I see all those pictures, I can’t help myself. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Hyunjae grabbed your chin and pulled you into a long kiss. He pulled away to breath before his lips began to trail down your body. His hands helped you slip out of your clothes, laying you down on the blanket you had set out. You shivered from the cold feeling, but Hyunjae assured he’d warm you up soon enough. You tried to push him off you, but your strength was nonexistent, so he didn’t notice anything. His hands began to explore your body, making you shake with every touch.

“Hyunjae…”

“Hm. It’s okay, I’ll take care of everything.”

You yelped when you felt a hand between your legs. His fingers moved diligently up and down, teasing you. It was creating this warm feeling down there, that was only growing. You were a virgin, despite what others might think. You had always been waiting on finding the right one, so you had no idea what to do in this situation. You tried closing your legs but Hyunjae only reached down to grab your thighs, massaging them a bit before spreading your legs. You whimpered, feeling so small.

“Sh, I got you.”

Hyunjae kissed you again, and when you felt his hand push aside your panties, making contact with your sensitive skin. You squirmed, which caused him to chuckle in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. Your body was trembling underneath his touch, moreso when his free hand moved to massage your breast.

“Hyunjae…”

“You must really like me.”

“Hm…”

“You’re still an angel, even like this.”

This warm feeling kept growing inside you, caused by Hyunjae’s touch. It was making your head swing with this tingly sensation. So when you felt Hyunjae pull away you whimpered, looking over at him to see him undressing. With your rose tinted vision you couldn’t help but smile, seeing how handsome he really was. He crawled on top of you and kissed you deeply. It was only right to kiss back, and give into his gentle touch. That is until you felt something between your legs, something big, and you got tense.

“Sh, easy, easy, it’ll feel good, I promise.”

His hands trailed your body to help relax you, and then you felt something pushing into you. Instinctively you tried to move away but Hyunjae grabbed your hips and held you in place. You whimpered and squirmed, feeling like you were being torn up from the inside. Yet just as it hurt, the feeling began to change. That warmth you had been feeling got a new spark of pleasure. You grabbed onto Hyunjae’s arms, trying to say something but nothing but incoherent babble escaped your lips. You thought this was it until Hyunjae began to start moving. The rhythm was like a wave washing over you with every thrust.

Every part of your body was on fire, and it felt good. You weren’t holding anything back and it was like a beautiful melody to Hyunjae’s ears. Something was building inside you, and to a degree you were fearful. Hyunjae noticed and told you once again that everything would be alright. It’s not like you could stop this, or him, so you just had to ride it out with him. One moment you were in this fiery pit pleasure, the next you were shaking as something new completely overpowered you. You were burning up as your whole body convulsed, this heat from inside finally exploding and taking you to new heights you never could have fathomed. You held onto Hyunjae tightly, his moments causing little static sparks to coarse through you, keeping this feeling going for as long as possible.

Hyunjae was losing rhythm as well, losing it as you squeezed him tightly. It wasn’t long before he reached his own climax. You felt a new type of warmth between your legs then, mewling as you laid there on cloud nine. Hyunjae peppered your body with kisses, picking a few spots to leave his mark on. As he caught his breath he examined your face, seeing how blissed out you were. It brought a smile to his face, hoping to see this face again and again. Never wanting to see sadness or pain in your eyes. He had been watching you long enough to know your struggles, and he knew he had to shield them from you.

After a moment he moved to lay beside you, wrapping you up in the blanket and keeping you in his arms. The warmth he felt was indescribable, but overall he was happy. You’d be mumbling again, but he knew you were out of it and your brain was just drifting in and out of focus. He found himself pressing soft kisses to your head, and then his eyes lingered over to his collage of pictures. He could still remember when he had taken each one, and the way he felt too. They were all so beautiful, but nothing compared to the real you. Now that he had you, he had to protect you and preserve your happiness just as he had done so with his pictures.

“We’re gonna be perfect together.”

[jerzwriter]

With a care in this world...

Based on this ask ("sleeping in a hammock together") from @annoyingmillenialnewbie. As with all my requests, I apologize for being so late! I was really missing Eli and Zoe, so I was so happy to have this little fic to do. I hope you enjoy it!

Book:                   Wake the Dead

Pairing:                Eli Sipes x F!MC (Zoe Rivera)

Rating:                 General

Category:            Fluff with a little angst

Summary:           The summer heat is taking its toll on the colonists, and Zoe is no exception. Delighted when a cooler day arrives, Zoe decides to enjoy a little time outdoors, but Eli isn't pleased.

Words:   1044

A/N: Participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge - but I improvised a little - instead of stargazing, it's skygazing. If Dani will alow it. :)

Summer had become Zoe’s least favorite season. If the increased zombie activity wasn’t bad enough, merely surviving in the oppressive heat made every day more of a challenge. The past week had been so brutal that Shannon advised only essential duties could be performed outdoors. Heat exhaustion at Olympus was becoming prevalent, and she didn’t want to see it elevate to heat stroke.

When they woke up to cooler temperatures this morning, the colonists rejoiced. Everyone except Troy that is. Zoe attempted to wake him up at the crack of dawn. The two of them were scavaging for supplies today, and as she told her immovable friend, the sooner they left, the sooner they’d be home. Then he’d have the first crack at the showers and the vanilla pudding the Angel planned on making today. 

True to her word, they were home early, and Troy rushed inside to claim his rewards. But Zoe was in no hurry. She had been cooped up for too many days, and the shaded hammock Minna had recently built was calling her name.

She hopped in, stretched her arms above her head, then laid back and peered at the perfect blue sky peeking through the lush green leaves. After a cleansing breath, she gently rocked herself back and forth. She wouldn’t dislike summer so much if it were always like this, she thought as she fell half-asleep.

While Zoe enjoyed her rest, Eli was busy collecting water from the stream behind the compound. With two large buckets filled, it was time to head back, and he couldn’t be happier. This marked his fifth and, thankfully, final trip of the day. Even though it was cooler, it was still too warm for backbreaking work like this. A small smile formed on his lips when he saw the lodge in the distance, but that smile faltered as soon as he spotted Zoe alone on the hammock. He called a young colonist over and handed him the buckets, then rushed in her direction.

She looked so peaceful and adorable that he almost considered letting her sleep. But not when her safety was an issue. She was obviously safe, but his mind couldn’t stop racing as he approached her, and his heartbeat quickly followed.  

“Zoe! Wake up!”

Zoe’s eyes remained shut, though an impish little grin spread on her face. 

“Mmm... jealous?” she yawned. “You could have signed up for scavaging first thing in the morning, then you’d already be taking a nap, too.”

“Zoe! I’m serious,” he said, shaking the hammock. “What are you thinking sleeping out here alone!! You know better than that!”

“Relax,” she replied, sitting upright. “I do know better. But it’s the middle of the afternoon, and the perimeter is being guarded.”

“Yes, on the perimeter... but you’re not on the perimeter.”

“I’m not exactly alone. Shanon has the children on a nature hunt right over there,” she pointed a short distance away. “I’m sure I would have heard the screams if we had any drone activity.”

“They’re still too far away!”

To make a final point, Zoe pulled her hunting knife from her hip pocket in two seconds flat. “I also have this.”

“Which would have been very helpful after a drone already attacked you.”

Zoe Rivera was nothing if not stubborn, and under normal circumstances, she would have defended her point all day. But she also knew Eli better than anyone, and she noticed the terror in his eyes.

“Baby, I’m OK,” she whispered, patting the space beside her. “Come, sit by me.”

Eli settled next to her, and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and gently kissed his cheek.

“I know you worry about me, hon. But look, I’m OK. I’m right here.”

Eli’s eyes stayed focused on the ground as he tried to center himself, pushing memories from the past out of his mind. 

“I know,” he said with a pained voice. “But it takes just a minute, Zoe, and I can’t bear to think...”

“Hey,” she held him closer. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Eli. I understand, I really do. While we face a certain amount of risk daily... you’re right... We don’t have to invite more. If it makes you feel better, I won’t nap outside alone anymore.”

Eli turned to her, his rough hand pushing her hair gently behind her ear, then cupping her cheek in his palm. “I hate to ask that of you. I know how much you enjoy it... and it’s not as if we have a lot of things that bring us joy...”

“That’s not true,” she smiled. “As long as we have each other, I have all the joy I need.”

He leaned in and closed the space between them, his lips meeting hers with a soft, tender kiss. His arms encircled her so tight Zoe nearly lost her breath.

“Uh, Baby. If you want me around, you probably shouldn’t asphyxiate me,” she teased.

Eli loosened his grip. “I’m sorry for overreacting, but I can’t imagine losing you, Zo.”

“I know,” she grinned. “Why don’t we go inside? We can both take a nap in our bed.”

“I’m really not that tired,” he said, to her great disappointment. “But, how about I lay on the hammock with you. I’ll stay awake while you get a little rest in.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Lying here holding you isn’t exactly a sacrifice,” he chuckled.

“Then fine,” she said, pushing him back and nearly causing the hammock to topple. As Zoe’s laughter filled the air, Eli steadied them with an exasperated sigh. 

“Stop pretending you’re mad at me,” she said, snuggling into him. 

Eli kissed the top of her head. “You know I can’t stay mad at you for long. Now, close your eyes and get some rest. I’ll make sure you’re up in time to get ready for dinner.”

“That sounds like a plan,” she said with a yawn. 

Then Zoe drifted off into a peaceful sleep; Eli peered at the bright blue sky, peeking through the lunch leaves above, and he smiled. Loving someone always comes with the risk of loss and pain; it’s unavoidable. But at long last, he had something that made it all worthwhile, and he knew just how lucky he was.

@choicesmonthlychallenge @openheartfanfics

Tagging in seperate blog

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Chapter Four: New Beginnings

FINALLY WE'RE BACK! I'm so sorry it took me so so long to post, but I hope this chapter makes up for it 🥹✨ As always, my inbox is open for you guys and please come talk to me about what you thought of the chapter 🫶🏼🫶🏼 All the love, Mar 🤍

March 14, 2022 – April 13, 2022: Month Four

March 15, 2022

New York City, New York. 1:45 PM.

The phone rang four times before he answered, “Hi baby”, I smiled, “Harry Styles you menace”, he laughed and I walked towards the flowers sitting on the coffee table; once he stopped laughing, he cleared his throat and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

I sat down and snuggled into the pillows before answering him, “Oh? Well then, think I have to call Mr. Ricciardo and thank him for the flowers then”, he let out a grumble before mimicking what I just said which had me laughing, “I’m kidding baby; but you are a menace, three arrangements in a whole week?”

“I miss you baby, just don’t want for you to forget it”, I smiled, “I won’t, I promise you”, we settled into comfortable silence for a few until he spoke up, “How’s the baby?”, I sighed, “It’s been an adjustment, but we’re working on it”, he tsked his lips, “What’s wrong?”, I cleared my throat, “It’s nothing.”

“Baby, if it is bothering you, it is not nothing. Wanna switch to FaceTime?”, I sighed before quietly answering him, “Yeah”, we hung up and I pulled my laptop and charger, I plugged it in and waited for his call to appear, I smiled when I saw his face on the screen, and he returned the smile and a wave before asking me, “How on Earth do you get prettier and prettier each day huh?”

I laughed and hid my face behind my hands, “Stop it, I feel anything but”, he furrowed his brows a little, “What’s wrong baby?”, I sighed and started playing with my fingers, and looked everywhere but the screen where he was, “It’s just been… hard, like settling back home; jetlag hit us hard and she has also hit the sleep regression, so she isn’t resting well, which in turn has her in a bad mood all day long.”

“Dr. Ramirez said it was normal, but I don’t know, I feel awful for her, and we’ve been having issues with breastfeeding, my supply has been all over the place, so I have had to supplement with some of the frozen milk we have, which in turn has me tying to pump to make up for the milk I grab but then again my supply is not great so it is just this big mess; I mean don’t get me wrong, she is fed and happy, but I feel like I have been failing her.”

“Oh baby”, there was something on his tone that made me sniffle, “And… this is stupid because I know things take time, but I wanted to wear a dress I just bought and it did not fit, and I knew I wouldn’t be back to my pre-baby weight. But not even the next size fits comfortably, which then had me doing some try-ons and decluttering and I had to stop because I would have thrown out everything I own”, I wiped the tears that had fallen and turned to look at Harry, “I’m sorry, I just loaded you.”

He shook his head, “It makes me feel happy that you trust me enough to tell me how you feel darling, and I wish I could just reach into the screen and pull you into a hug”, I chuckled and he continued, “I’m so sorry things have been so hard for you, especially with the baby when I promised you I would always be there, but please get this into your head: you’re not failing her, haven’t failed her even before she was here and that is worth everything”, he smiled and I nodded.

“She is still tiny, and even if it hurts us, she is growing too, so these things will happen because they are part of her development, and we will always work together to help her, yes? You and me, we are a team; I remember that in one of the baby books I read they discussed ways to help soothe her during her crisis and ways to help you keep up your supply, so let me check my notes and I’ll send them your way.”

The smile that adorned my face was difficult to hide, I felt so damn proud of him, of the great father and boyfriend he had become, of the love he had for her and for me, and how much effort he was putting into taking care of Pippa and myself, he cleared his throat, “As for you Miss, I wish you could see what I see”, I smiled before giving him a questioning look, “And that is?”

He smiled, “A beautiful, strong, intelligent, talented, sexy as hell woman, both inside and out, a mother who everyday selflessly takes care from her baby and is making sure that her needs are met and that she is a happy baby, a friend who is always there for whoever needs her; I see the girl of my dreams and the woman I want to share the rest of my life with”, my heart started beating so fast and I smiled, he took it as a way to continue speaking.

“I don’t want to override your feelings, because they are valid, but just know, I think you are beautiful, and what matters to me the most is the fact that you are healthy, that you are thriving, and above all, that you are feeling good about yourself yes? I truly don’t give a shit if you’re a size zero or a size fourteen, I do care that you feel supported and loved by me and everyone who loves and cares for you.”

I sniffled and nodded before speaking up, “I am happy, I feel like we are getting a hang of this whole new adventure, so I feel like I am also thriving alongside her, and I do feel good about myself and so damn proud of having grown and birthed a healthy baby girl but, I don’t know”, is eyes were full of sorrow and worry, I cleared my throat before continuing.

“I feel like I’m comparing myself to all new moms who by now have their figure back and they are so confident, and me, well I feel good and look good, but I don’t know… I’m sorry I’m just being irrational”, he smiled, “Baby, you’re not. It is valid and I hear you and see you and the only thing I really want to do is be there for you in any way I can, is there anything literally anything I could do to help you to work on this problem?”, I smiled, “Just get home safe, we miss you so much and having you here is definitely the best medicine there is”, he smiled, “I am counting down the days to be next to you again, and until I am, expect many more surprises.”

I laughed and turned my head when I saw two boxes I had opened once we got back home, “By the way, you should definitely call Taylor and thank her for the lovely gifts”, he gave me a surprised look while taking a sip of water before speaking up, “Really? What did she send?”, I smiled, “A lovely, knitted cardigan with her name on it, and a crocheted blanket and it has her birth flowers knitted, and it is purple like her birthstone.”

He smiled, “I’ll make sure to reach out tomorrow and thank her, does she love her gifts?”, I nodded, “Her blanket is so cozy; it is the one I have been using when we need to go out, and her cardigan I’m saving it for a special occasion, like maybe one of her daddy’s concerts?”, that had him smiling so big and before he could speak up I added, “Coachella maybe?”, I grinned.

He sat up straighter and opened and closed his mouth, I took this chance to speak up, “I know we agreed that maybe we should stay home, but I know this is a very big and important time in your life for you baby, and we would love to be there with you”, he sniffled and smiled, “I would love nothing more than to have you two there with me my heart”, I smiled, “I love you baby”, he kissed his fingers and pressed them to the screen “I love you more my heart.”

March 20, 2022

New York City, New York. 12:30 PM.

My heart was going crazy while I was walking to the sushi place that we had agreed to meet up on. A few days ago, I had received an email from Matthew telling me he would be in the city and would love to meet for lunch so we could properly catch up. Before I confirmed my assistance, I decided to tell H about the situation, and although he wasn’t too thrilled, he said he trusted me and to call if anything happened.

Once we arrived, the lovely host led us to a secluded table where the stroller wouldn’t bother any of the guests and the noise would not wake up Pip; as I was finishing checking my emails, someone cleared their throat before speaking up, “Hi Birdie”, I left my phone on the table and turned to look at him, I smiled while standing up and reaching to pull him into a hug.

“Hi Matthew, it is so nice to see you again”, he squeezed a little before pulling back and turning to look at the stroller with a smile, “Sleeping?”, I nodded and he did too, “Well let’s take advantage and eat while she sleeps, yes?”, I smiled and nodded while he called the lovely waitress, who after taking our orders left our table.

I took a moment to just observe him; he was still the guy I had dated but he definitely had matured, and you could see it on his face, he smiled before speaking up, “You haven’t changed that much”, I laughed, “I was thinking the same thing about you”, he nodded, “So… I really don’t wanna be that guy, but I need to ask.”

I laughed, “Oh, it is a story to tell. I won’t bore you with details that are not that important; a few months after we broke up, I met Harry, he hired me for some design projects for his album and we started dating a few months after I finished the projects. We broke up on December of 2020 because I could see that he was falling out of love with me and I didn’t want to be left heartbroken, a few months later, in March, I travelled to L.A. for some work commitments and we happened to run into each other, and after dinner, one thing led to another, I ran way the next morning knowing that what happened had been a mistake; a few weeks later I found I was pregnant.”

He sat there and nodded, waiting for me to continue, I sighed and smiled a little, “I was so shocked, but I fell in love with her from the moment I knew she existed, and it was the kind of love that is all consuming and comes along with the need to protect her”, I peeked into the covered stroller and smiled at her before turning to see Matthew, “Her dad was dating someone else at the time, but they eventually broke up. I still remember how excited he was when he found out we were having a baby together, we had a few hiccups along the way but I’m glad we were able to work things out for her. We decided not to find out the gender until birth, it was the best decision.”

He gave me a teasing grin, “And between you two? Harry and yourself?”, I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, “We’re taking it one day at a time, but I know that he is the love of my life and hopefully the father of all of my children, and I will do everything in my power to make things work”, he nodded, “And Harry? How is he?”, I took a sip of my tea, “He is good, he is an awesome father and I have also realized that the Harry I fell in love is still there, I’m falling in love with him even more.”

He smiled, “You look happy Birdie”, I sat down for a moment to let his words sink in, “I am. So happy, happier than I thought I would be to be honest”, we ate a little more in silence before I asked him, “And you?”, he cleared his throat, “After we broke up, stayed in Manhattan for a few months, then my boss asked me if I would like to transfer to the London office and after giving it much thought I said yes and the next month I was on the move.”

I nodded encouragingly, hoping he continued to tell me his adventures, “A few months after moving I met Claire”, I could see him smile so big, before he continued, “She’s from Vancouver but her work also relocated her to London. We bonded over being to foreigners with new jobs and trying to understand England and started dating a few months after we met each other, I asked her to marry me a few months ago and she said yes.”

I smiled so big, “Oh Matthew! That’s so wonderful, congratulations!”, he laughed a little, “Thank you Birdie! Yeah, we’re very excited for this nee chapter for us; we will be getting married in Scotland in May, there’s a castle that we fell in love with when we visited and after the wedding we will be moving to Vancouver because we got a new job”, before I could speak up there was a little cry, a mewl from the stroller, so I reached in to pull the baby into my arms and settled her in my arms with a bottle covering her with the blanket.

“Holy crap she looks so much like you”, I smiled, “You think so? I think she’s more Harry’s twin at the moment”, he shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, yeah she looks like her dad, but the resemblance with you is also impressive, I have a feeling you have a mini you in your hands”, I laughed, “I’ll let you know because I swear to god she changes every day”, I then patted her back hoping to help her settle a bit more while she had her lunch.

Matthew smiled at me, “Motherhood suits you well, Birdie”, I smiled and peeked into the blanket to see the lovely eyes I had fallen in love for the last few months, before turning to look at Matthew, “I never in my wildest dreams thought I would love being a mom so much, but she makes everything so wonderful, she has given my life so much color and happiness, I really cannot imagine what my life would be without her here.”

Once we finished lunch and I had burped Pippa, I strapped her in the stroller so she could take her afternoon nap, Matthew paid for lunch and we made our way outside; we stood on the side of the street and we pulled each other into a hug, and once we pulled back, he peeked into the stroller and smiled before turning to look at me.

“You have a beautiful girl Birdie, and I am so happy you are happy”, I smiled, “I am so happy you are happy too Matthew”, we pulled each other into one last hug before he whispered, “Don’t be a stranger, yes? I would love to hear more from you”, I nodded, “You too, you have my phone number and email, so please keep in touch”, he nodded and waved while he walked onto the main street, I turned to see if everything was good in the stroller and started making my way back home.

March 23, 2022

Harry. New York City, New York. 8:00 PM.

I closed the door and dropped my suitcase next to it, I let out a deep breath once I took off my mask and removed my shoes on the way to the kitchen to wash my hands. I was so anxious and excited to finally be able to kiss my girls and have them in my arms once again, it had been too long, and the separation anxiety had done wonders on me.

As I made my way from the kitchen to the bedroom, I saw Y/N exiting our room and closing the door, I pouted before whispering a very sad, “Noo”, she gave me a sympathetic smile while she walked to me, “I’m so sorry baby, I really tried my best to keep her awake, but she was very crabby and tired, literally fell asleep breastfeeding and it was a struggle to get her to finish, I need to pump a little.”

I nodded while pulling Y/N into a hug and kissing her forehead multiple times, “I missed you gorgeous, and thank you for trying, I’m sorry she has been a menace today”, she laughed while pulling back a little and kissed my lips before we started walking to the kitchen, “I missed you too H, so much; and don’t worry, she was fine but I guess we did a lot of things today that tired her out.”

I helped her plate the dinner she had made, and we sat down on the counter, not before making sure that her chair was really close to mine, she smiled when I reached to place a kiss on her temple, she took a bite of dinner and swallowed before asking me, “How did the flight go?”

I groaned while I finished chewing, “It was awful, we were supposed to takeoff at around 4:30-5:00 PM UK time hoping I could get home and see the baby before she went down, but air clearance took about 45 minutes longer than expected so we ended up leaving about six, even Jeff was pissed about it and you know he has a lot of patience and understanding with these type of situations.”

She nodded while taking another bite, “Then the flight was so bumpy and we hit turbulence for the last hour and I was really freaking out because it literally felt like we had no breaks in between, but everything was better when we landed and I saw your text about her still being awake, but I forgot about stupid rush hour in New York.”

She laughed, kissed my temple, and rubbed my shoulders while I finished eating, “I’m sorry lovely, but thankfully you are here now and we will make up for all the cuddles we missed yeah?”, I nodded and smiled while reaching to puller her in for another kiss, “How about we finish dinner and I’ll go have a quick shower while you pump and then we can watch a movie?”, she nodded in agreement while taking another bite.

Once we finished eating, we picked up our plates and I made my way to the bedroom to have my shower, I decided to carefully peek into the bassinet and my heart just about melted, her cheeks had definitely grown, and I knew I would spend an unhealthy amount of time kissing them. After my shower I made sure that she was still sleeping  then left the room, once I reached the living room I smiled when I saw Y/N settled on the couch waiting for me, after choosing what movie to watch, I pulled her into my arms so I could cuddle her and give her all the kisses I had missed these last few weeks, and while we were cuddling, I realized, there was no other place I’d rather be.

March 25, 2022

New York City, New York. 6:00 PM.

The music coming from the other side of the door had me smiling and rolling my eyes. Today is my birthday and even though I had begged Harry to keep it on the low and he had assured me he would, I had been getting spoiled all day long, and don’t get me wrong, I love the attention, but truly this year I felt like I had everything I could wish and more, still he argued that I deserved all the love I could get today.

It all had started with a lovely breakfast in bed which included my favorite pastries from the bakery three blocks down alongside a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers from my little girl, followed by an array of phone calls and video calls with our family out of town and more arrangements from friends and family with well wishes and lots of love, our house at the moment looked more like a flower shop.

Harry then prepared some light lunch for us and sent me with Ray to an undisclosed location with the instruction to turn my phone off as soon as I arrived at my destination, promising that if anything was to happen he would make sure to reach me, the undisclosed location turned out to be one of my favorite spas in the city, where I learned I had been booked for a full body massage and a facial. Once it finished, I was on my way back home to what I thought would be our normal night routine, but then again, I should have expected for it not to be the case.

The first thing I noticed once I opened the door was the balloons and garlands decorating the pathway to the kitchen and living room; when I turned to see the living room he had set up a picnic on the floor, and placed candles all over the tables, along with more balloons and pictures tied to the end of the balloons, the pictures that went all the way back to when we first met, some of my pregnancy I had either sent him or my friends, to Pippa’s birth and these last few months of being her parents and all the way up to a selfie with Pip I had sent him a few days ago.

The house smelled of lavender and the air felt warm, which was an indication that bath time had probably just ended; when I turned to the kitchen, I smiled at the picture I came across, the baby was settled in her little bouncy seat playing with a little rattle Anne had knitted for her while her father was singing to her, a demo from his new project still to be announced to the world, but the date was fast approaching.

Once he noticed I was standing at the entrance he dropped the spatula he was holding and smiled while making his way to me, “Hey birthday girl! How was your spa session?”, I kissed his chest and cuddled into his hug, “It was divine H, very much needed, thank you again baby”, he pulled back a little and smiled, “I’m so glad you enjoyed it, you deserve it; dinner is almost ready and the little miss is ready for a feed and cuddle with her mumma, so why don’t you go sit on the couch with her while I finish.”

I nodded and started walking to the little bouncer, and as soon as Pippa saw me, she gave me the biggest smile and my heart just about melted, I cooed to her, “Oh hi little miss look at that smile! Yeah, baby I love your smile”, I tickled her chin, “Are you gonna give me a laugh? Will you give mumma a laugh as a birthday gift?”, she just crinkled her eyes and moved her arms around, I took this chance to unbuckle her and made our way to the living room.

As soon as we settled, she latched and started feeding, and I felt a sense of proudness when I saw how chunky she was getting. We were just switching sides when Harry came into the living room carrying two pizzas, he turned and gave me a smile, “Pizza made from scratch for you my love, one has some veggies and the other is a deli meat blend”, he sat down next to me and I squeezed his arm, “Thank you baby, would you mind bringing her little basket? Maybe she can snooze a little while we eat.”

He nodded, stood up and made his way to the nursery where we keep the little travel bassinet, we sued to lay her down for short periods of time, and when he came back, I was just finishing burping Pippa, we sat down in front of the table, and I settled the baby in her bassinet while we ate. Once we were done, I tried to help H clean up, but he refused my help, he went into the kitchen and screamed out, “My love please make sure the baby is in your arms, yes?”

I laughed and reached in for the baby who had just woken up from her nap, I kissed her forehead and settled her on my lap before I screamed, “We’re ready!”, a few seconds later he started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while making his way back to me with a small cake and a few candles lit, once he set it in front of me he sat down and sat down to finish singing.

I grabbed Pippa’s hands and pretended to clap alongside him, “Make a wish darling”, I closed my eyes and truly thought about my wish, I smiled while I made my wish, I wish for a life full of the bliss and happiness I have been feeling lately, I opened my eyes and blew out the candles, then Harry made his way to sit next to us and took a picture to send to our family.

Once we ate our cake and picked up, we made our way to the bedroom, where we made sure that her diaper was clean before we settled Pip into her bassinet for the night; we then got ready for bed together. Once we made sure all the lights were off and we had everything in place for the night feeds we got into bed, Harry then turned to his nightstand and pulled out a box from the drawer, I gave him a knowing look and he bashfully smiled, “I promise this is the last gift I will give you today”, I kissed his cheek and grabbed the gift, “Thank you baby, but you didn’t have to you know.”

When I opened the box I found a necklace settled, it had a pendant with a P, he spoke up, “I know you love your jewelry, and I thought this could be a beautiful addition to your collection, and it is dainty and discreet just how you love them; and if we have more babies we can add their initials”, I smirked at him, “So you want more babies huh?”, he laughed and nodded while kissing my lips.

He pulled back a little, a very sincere look in his eyes full of love and gratitude, “I want everything with you, for as long as you’ll have me”, I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss, when we pulled back I whispered, “Thank you baby, I love it, and I also want everything with you for as long as you’ll have me”, he smiled, “You are welcome my heart, did you enjoy your day?”, I nodded and smiled, “It was the best birthday I could have wished for.”

April 5, 2022

Harry. Indio, California. 4:00 PM.

I removed my seatbelt and got out of the car before turning to give Jeff a handshake, “Thanks for the ride man”, he smiled, “No problem, say hello to the Missus and Pip for me, and if you guys need anything please call or text yeah?”, I nodded and then turned to thank the driver before closing the door and making my way to the house we had rented for the weekend.

As soon as I opened the front door my heart broke when I heard the cries of Pippa somewhere in the living room, I removed my shoes and mask, went to wash my hands, and started making my way to where I could hear Y/N shushing Pip. When I entered the kitchen and she saw me her lips went into a pout.

We had been in California for four days, and two days after we arrived Pippa had come down with an awful ear infection, which had us visiting the Urgent Care upon the recommendation of Dr. Ramirez and having to give her a round of antibiotics. Because of this, there hasn’t been a lot of sleep for her, Y/N and Pip had been staying in another room so I could rest and be able to fulfill all of my work commitments.

Once I stood up beside her I sighed, “How is she?”, she shook her head a little before kissing Pippa’s forehead, “She was perfect all day but woke up very emotional from her nap, I think her ear is still bothering her; I spoke with Dr. Ramirez, said that this was normal and to keep giving her some ibuprofen, if this persists then maybe we can discuss another round of antibiotics but doesn’t really want that”

I nodded and reached for the baby, “Oh baby, I’m so sorry you feel bad, should we cuddle a little?”, I made my way to the little swing settled on the patio and sat down kissing her forehead and patting her bum, a few seconds later Y/N came to joins us and brought along with her a pitcher of lemonade and some popcorn.

I gave her an appreciative smile before speaking up, “Her fever finally broke?”, she nodded, “We’ve been fever free for about 18 hours finally, I think she’s just a little colicky and overall tired”, I nodded and continued to shush her, and from her pliant body I believe she was falling asleep finally.

After taking a sip of her lemonade she ran a hand down my hair and smiled, “How did rehearsals go?”, I smiled back at her, “They were good, the set is awesome and Shania and I had a good one, she is so excited to meet Pippa”, Y/N nodded and helped me take a sip from my lemonade because the baby had finally fallen asleep in my arms.

Y/N let out a yawn, which had me also yawning, we both laughed quietly before we settled further into the little swing, Y/N then whispered, “Nap?”, I nodded and kissed her forehead, “Baby, can we please sleep in the same room? I miss you so much and you also need to rest”, she pondered for a moment before answering, “I think we can do that, she’s over the worst part and we miss you too.”

I smiled and pecked her lips a few times before we settled into a much needed family nap; when I woke up again Pippa and I were still cuddling on the swing, but we were now covered with a blanket and Y/N was nowhere in sight, I checked the time on my watch to see we had been napping for about an hour and a half, I took a moment to fully see my girl.

She still looked a lot like me, but little by little the resemblance with her mum has come to the surface, especially on the bow of her lips, her long lashes, but also personality wise, like for example how she was now grabbing my shirt to make sure I was there just like her mum did when we slept. This. This was the feeling I always knew I wanted but knew that it was more than I would ever need.

I heard the sliding door open and turned to see my girl coming out with a smile on her face, she sat down next to me and ran a hand down Pip’s back, “So, Jeff and Glenne dropped some dinner for us courtesy of the one and only Shelli Azoff and speedy recovery wishes for the baby”, I moaned a little, “Shelli’s cooking is amazing, I will send her a thank you gift.”

She nodded then pouted while looking at the baby, “I really think we should wake her up, but she looks so comfy and happy”, I smiled, “I believe we should maybe let her rest, it has been quite a few days for her huh?”, Y/N nodded and smiled before she cuddled to me, “Yeah, maybe we should join her in a little snooze?”, I kissed her forehead, “That is an awesome idea my love.”

 April 13, 2022

Indio, California. 4:00 PM

After the hectic start to our California adventure, it seemed that things were already starting to settle. Harry’s first Coachella appearance was looking to be one for the books, the show was spectacular, the band was amazing and above all he was thriving and so happy and I am the proudest girlfriend in the whole world.

Today, Harry had some PR commitments related to his album, Jeff and Mitch tagged along, which left Glenne, Sarah, the babies, and me to rest and enjoy the pool in the house we had rented. So far, we had sunbathed, then we prepared and ate lunch, and we laid down the babies for their naps, while we waited for them to wake up, we decided to just sit and relax.

Glenne turned to look at Sarah and me before speaking up, “Hey have you seen the latest challenge on TikTok?”, we both shook our heads, she sat up straighter and cleared her throat, “So… it is called a ‘Pregnancy Roulette’, and basically you take a pregnancy test and then place them all in a box and once the loading time is over you pull them out to see if there is any positive ones.”

Sarah and I sat there in silence, stunned at what she had just told us, and it suddenly dawned on me why she told us, I started shaking my head, “Glenne…”, she sat up straighter, “Hear me out”, Sarah interrupted, “Wait, what am I missing?”, before Glenne could answer we both turned to look at Sarah and I spoke up, “She wants us to do this challenge.”

Sarah turned to look at Glenne, surprise written all over her face, “You’re joking, right?”, Glenne shook her head, “Come on! It will be fun, and do you really think there is a chance it could be positive?”, Sarah and I turned to look at each other, Sarah then spoke up, “I mean, if you agree with this I will say yes”, I sighed before turning to look back at Glenne, “I cannot believe you convinced us to do this Glenne.”

She squealed and then we made our way to the bathroom on the master bedroom. Glenne then went into her bag to look for some pregnancy tests before we each took a turn at the bathroom. After Glenne, Sarah went into the bathroom, then Sarah came out which then had me going into the bathroom.

When I came out, I dropped the test into the box and turned to look at them, “Glenne this is stupid, why did we agree?”, Sarah nodded her head in agreement with me while Glenne laughed at us before speaking up, “Oh come on girls! It was just for fun, Jeff and I are not actively trying, Sarah you also said that, and you Missy just had a baby, so we can assume it will be negative.”

I nodded and we settled back into her couch while we waited for the timer to stop, Sarah let out a sigh before speaking up, “I am really glad we have this time to be just us three; don’t get me wrong, I love the boys and the babies, but I feel like we have lost our friendship a little with everything that happened, it would be perfect if Gemma was here.”

Glenne and I smiled in agreement before the three of us cuddled into a hug and just sat there until we jumped a little once the timer stopped, Glenne stood up first and we followed, she set up her phone to record, then grabbed the box and we each pulled out a test making sure that the results were not on display.

Glenne turned to look at us with an expectant smile, “On the count of three, yes?”, Sarah and I nodded, “One… two… three”, I took a deep breath and turned the test, letting out a relieved breath I didn’t know I was holding, Sarah was the first to speak, “Negative”, I laughed a little, “Negative.”

However, when we turned to see Glenne, her face was very pale and it seemed she was in shock; Sarah cleared her throat, “Glenne? What’s wrong?”, she waved her hand in front of her face and that seemed to do the trick, when she turned to look at us, she was at loss for words and I spoke up, “Glenne what happened?”, she let out a nervous chuckle while turning the test so we could read the result and told us, “Positive.”

My heart fell to my stomach when I realized what she said, my eyes going wide and out of the corner I could see Sarah cover her mouth, Shit. I stood there frozen while Sarah walked to Glenne to see the test, “This has to be a joke, right?”, Glenne shook her shoulders, “I mean, I don’t know? Shit, what should we do?”, before they could panic more, I snapped out of my trance and cleared my throat while stopping the recording.

“Okay, let’s not panic until we have to, okay?”, they both nodded and I took a deep breath, “Glenne, you need to call Lucy and ask her to buy a new box of tests, if any of us go I can only imagine the havoc it will cause”, the three of us chuckled, “In the meantime the babies will be waking up very soon, so we need to feed them and entertain them until Lucy brings the tests.”

As if they could hear us, there were two distinct cries from the guest rooms at the end of the house, both Sarah and I made our way to the babies while Glenne called Lucy. After settling the babies, we made our way to the garden where I fed Pip while Sarah fed baby boy and we played with them.

 Pippa was laying on her back and we were playing with some of the toys we had brought from home, her smiles had been getting bigger day by day, Sarah reached to gran one of her fingers while holding her baby with her other arm and turned to see me, “Has she started laughing?”

I shook my head while pulling another funny face, “No, we think it will be soon, but she is making us sweat for it”, we laughed a little and turned to the house when we heard the back door open, Glenne was making her way towards us with a bag from CVS in her hands, “So, shall we try this again? asked for two boxes so we each can take two tests.”

Sarah and I nodded, and we grabbed the babies and made our way to the master again; we had agreed that this time we would take the tests and then wait until results came back before the next of us took her tests. Glenne was the first one, and once she finished doing her business, she left the tests to load and sat down on the bed with us, once the timer went off, she walked to the bathroom and retrieved them.

She sighed, “Negative”, Sarah and I let out a little breath of relief but anxiousness at the same time; Sarah then went into the bathroom and repeated the same steps as Glenne and when she came back out of the bathroom she gave me an apprehensive look, “Negative”, Glenne squeezed my hand, and I took a deep breath before nodding and making my way to the bathroom.

My heart was beating out of my chest while I was taking both tests, and once I was done, I decided to wait inside the bathroom until they were done loading; so many questions were tormenting me: how would we do this? Are we ready for another baby? How would Pip react? Yet the only thing I knew for sure was that if the test turned out to be positive, we would love this baby more than anything.

The timer went off and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I grabbed the tests and counted to three before opening my eyes, and just as they focused again, I stared at the screens in front of me. A single line in both. Negative. I let out a chuckle and unlocked the bathroom.

Sarah and Glenne turned to look at me as soon as the door opened, I smiled at them and said, “Negative”, the three of us let out a breath we did not know we were holding and then high-fived each other. We made sure to collect all the trash so that we did not raise any suspicions and we made our way downstairs to wait for the men to arrive.

After discarding everything, we settled in the living room, Sarah was the first to speak, “This is the last time we will go through with one of your stupid ideas and challenges Glenne”, I nodded in agreement and she chuckled, “I do admit it was stupid, I’m sorry I put you guys through this.”

I shook my head, “It’s okay, I mean it wasn’t the ideal situation, but we solved it”, Sarah then asked, “Why on Earth did we get a positive?”, I sighed, “Probably it was a default test, they happen sometimes”, Glenne scoffed, “Well, how lucky we are to get the faulty one eh?”, we nodded and laughed.

A few moments later the door unlocked, and the boys let us know they had returned, we let them know we were sitting in the living room and after dropping the dinner they bought in the dining room, they made their way to us. As soon as Pippa saw her dad, she gave him the biggest smile and he pulled her into his arms and started kissing her cheeks, and for a split moment a feeling of sadness filled my heart and I found myself wishing that the test came back positive.

Taglist @adoredeanna @alienorknight @b-reads-things @be-with-me-so-happily @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @clarawolf22 @daphnesutton @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @jgoff717 @kathy522 @kaitieskidmore1 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @qualitygiantshoepsychic @sagcas-latte @shawnsblue @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - March 5th

I’m going to be incredibly busy over the next few weeks so how many stories I read will be less than normal--hopefully it’ll even out some in April. In the meantime, enjoy this week’s recs and be sure to give a comment/kudos for your fic authors! 

~*~

***Covered in Lines by royal_chandler

He can’t lose sight of pale, deft hands that gesture on transitive verbs, an ink-stained thumb edging underneath Tony’s ribcage with an affection that can only be called dangerous.

The Sea is Calling by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday)

The storm took everything from Steve and left him empty and alone.

Tony has been swept away on the rough tides, taken from everything and everyone he loves.

The sea takes and takes and takes and gives nothing back.

adjustment period by mistymountainking

Tony and Steve have been together for a while now. They love each other a truly sickening amount. Unfortunately, Tony's issues have issues.

only a kiss by mistymountainking

Tony wouldn’t be the first to admit it—he wouldn’t be the third or the fifth or the fiftieth, even—but he’s a very physically affectionate person. For a man who doesn’t like being handed things, he loves using his hands to show his fondness for others. He has his little touches, arm pats, shoulder squeezes, handshakes; hugs are almost exclusively reserved for Rhodey and Pepper (Happy, Steve’s learned, isn’t a hugger), but no one is exempt from being kissed when the mood strikes Tony Stark.

No one except Steve, apparently.

a moment in the sun by mistymountainking

“—I mean it’s crazy right? It’s crazy, Tony Stark, Tony Stark calls us up out of the blue one day and says ‘You’ll be waiting six months to a year for a decent repair job, let alone a complete replacement, and I owe you guys, come on by Avengers Tower—”

***

a prompt fill for an anon on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony + Tony designing prosthetics for wounded vets

breathe with me by mistymountainking

“If footage from my sweet sixteen made it into this lineup, we’re watching all three Die Hards."

It’s Wednesday, and Wednesday means movie night at the mansion.

***

a prompt fill for lovingcookiemonsterblog on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony + "You're not worth it."

we'll hold each other (soon) by mistymountainking

Moments after the bright blue light of Tony’s arc reactor goes dark, Steve knows what he has to do.

 ***

written as a prompt fill for anon on tumblr, who asked for Steve/Tony post-Endgame fix-it fic.

tomorrow can wait (come whatever) by mistymountainking

The picture isn’t damning, Steve reminds himself. They aren’t engaged. They aren’t dating. They’re just friends. The pose is damning enough, but he’d be an idiot if he didn’t admit, at least to himself, that it’s his face that sells it. His face is why The Picture™ has been the #1 trending thing on Twitter for going on twelve hours, and why Clint whistled Wagner’s bridal chorus at him when they walked back into the tower last night.

He looks like he’s in love. Which is fair, because he is. With Tony.

His fiancé.

***

Steve and Tony are photographed mid-battle, which is par for the course. By the time they get home, the whole world thinks they're engaged, which is...not. But it's not a big deal—they'll figure things out eventually.

Excuses, excuses by S_Horne

“It was just that last lecture, the one on Wednesday,” Steve started, plucking his notebook off the top of his book pile and flicking through it. “I left feeling a little confused. I understood it all, but it wasn’t my favourite one. Do we have to write the paper on that topic, or can I focus on something else?”

Tony laughed as he pushed his chair backwards and stood. “That,” he said as he rounded the desk, “has got to be the worst excuse you’ve come up with yet. And I’m including the time that you came to tell me that the lights had been left on in my classroom.”

***a rose by any other name by meidui

“Just Steve,” he says quickly, softly, and his voice is music to Tony’s ears. “Please call me Steve.”

Tony can’t help but stare as it occurs to him that he should have prepared a proper greeting. What on earth is someone so young and pretty doing in an engagement like this?

-

There are a lot of things about Steve that make this arrangement easier than Tony thought it would be, but then there are a lot of things about him that complicate it, too.

flight risk by meidui

Tony is discharged from the hospital on his birthday, a beautiful May afternoon. The kind of sunshine that warms you up forever.

Mine by tinystark616

Steve doesn't have a problem with the fact that Tony likes to have one-night stands. It's none of his business. That is, until he has to witness Tony making out with Thor right in front of him.

tony's stickers of love by ArabellaAM

When Tony prints a couple of "Tony Stark Approved" stickers as a joke, the last thing he expects is to end up covering Steve's heart with them.

What if I Were To by blue_jack

“I know I said you could pick my next PA, but this is ridiculous.”

I Hear the Winter's Leave by thistlethorns

The thing is, Tony genuinely didn't know he had a soulmate.

time cannot replace by SailorChibi

When Steve is told that he has amnesia and has forgotten the past three years, naturally the first thing he does is call his boyfriend, Tony.

A Common Guttersnipe by betheflame 

When Steve Rogers walks down the runway, Tony Stark stops breathing. He must have this man as a client - he can make him the biggest movie star the world has ever known.

And then they meet, and Steve opens his mouth, and that accent nearly kills Tony. He makes Steve a bet - in six months, he can make even Anna Wintour think that Steve graduated from Phillips Exeter, and in return, Steve will let Tony sign him as a client.

Steve takes the bet, thinking he has nothing to loose.

And then he learns that the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, that he could have danced all night, and that the world will still run without Tony Stark, but goddamn if he wants it to.

The Space Stone by TheDrow

Steve returns to put the Tesseract back… except its not as easy as he originally thought. And there’s someone in the past that he’s actively trying to avoid…

[shamelessrabbithole]

i’m probably late to the party about noel and all but i wanted to throw my two cents in that discussion! i think we sometimes forget that actors/celebrities are just normal people like us and they’re not obliged to look a certain way to make us happy or anything like that. i don’t mean that we can’t have opinions (as i, for example, don’t like certain look choices of cam from recent years) but i think that speculating on wherever noel has some mental illness due to how he dresses and takes care of himself, isn’t exactly the best thing. to me the answer is very simple: noel is a normal guy who likes to wear cozy clothes and is comfortable in his own skin and with the concept of aging (that could mean accepting his hair getting thin and such— even tho to me it doesn’t look as tragic as people make it sound, he simply keeps them short and being light colour makes it look like it sometimes) he’s a guy, an adult. he surely flirts with his wife, he swears, tells dirty jokes and fucks around (he drinks, gets drunk and such) i don’t even think he sees himself as popular or anyone ‘important’ so he doesn’t have the need to appear in a certain way to the public. like, i think he’s okay with doing ‘low-key’ acting jobs instead of big franchise (not saying he wouldn’t like it but i don’t think he loses sleep from that) cameron said he’s trying to convince noel to do more and imo it doesn’t mean that noel is depressed or whatever (he could have some issues or not, anything is possible but we shouldn’t assume things like that) to me, until proven differently, noel is cozy and doesn’t want to be everywhere and do everything like cam does. cause cameron is the type of person who wants more and more and be famous, recognised and stuff. noel is just a dude chilling in his garden, having fun with his lowkey friends. he simply happens to be an actor and it’s a bit sad that just because of his career choice and how he decides to live his ‘famous life’— people will judge and think he’s not doing okay.

i personally don’t go out much, if not needed, when i do i just pick the first things i find which sometimes can be the same clothes i wore to my latest outing as 1- i don’t use it often as i don’t go out much 2- washing machines exist!

probably there’s this strong feeling towards noel’s appearance because he’s often confronted with cameron who’s always trying to find new things to do, new styles to try and always be talked about. not everyone is the same and wants much from their life/career.

sometimes i think of it and it makes me sad, ive followed shameless since the beginning and i saw how noel went from being just a guy interacting with fans of the tv show, having normal interactions like i would with anyone on the internet. sharing songs, books, his silly thoughts/jokes. the day he stopped it made me sad as it was due to fans judging, demanding and treating him and everyone else in the cast like they owe them something. it would be overwhelming as hell for me tbh.

i’m all in for gossips and such, i discuss here a lot and i like to see silly things like ranking of hairs and such but sometimes i feel like some people forget that we all are people with feelings. it’s like the internet anonymity makes people incredibly mean and bitter, we need to take a step back sometimes

Thanks for your ask. I agree with a lot of what you said. I just want to clarify that when anons write in to lament how rough and mean-spirited people have gotten in their critiques of Noel, they're not necessarily pointing out the posts on this particular blog. They mean in general because it's gotten bad elsewhere, out there.

So, sensitivities (including my own) may be running high, not because anons here have been hitting below the belt, but that Noel-bashing is becoming the new normal and it's not slowing down. In fact, the more visible he is, the more he's picked apart. There was a time on this blog where a Noel sighting was beyond rare and anons mostly were sad over his complete disappearance. I think some people ought to recall how much worse it is when he hibernates and not lose sight of that. Or, simply move on and stan someone they find more appealing.

[bihansthot]

In a non self ship update, Ani has been sending me spicy/flirty basically sexts all day he’s so in trouble when I get a hold of him. He’s not having a great mental health day so I won’t see him until Saturday or Sunday but he made sure to get me worked up. He still hasn’t decided if he’ll come to my birthday party I don’t know if party is the right word if a max of three people show up but maybe he will? It would certainly be nice having both the people I care about celebrate turning 800 million. I wish you lovelies could come celebrate with me. 🩷 I understand if he’s uncomfortable though he and my partner have never met so it’s an awkward situation. Hilariously after chatting with Ani I got an ad for an Anakin statue on Facebook and I thought it was very funny and apropos. I have a busy week of stupid lab work and doctor’s appointments next week before my actual bday on Friday, and we still haven’t booked anything yet. We’re planning on doing a Vegas in Detroit weekend because we can’t afford to go to Vegas and I’ve wanted to go for years so we’re doing the next best thing and going to the casino in downtown and staying the night if we can find boarding accommodations for Denny. I know some of you are like “Sol you’ve had months to plan this” yes we have but we had to save up money and get Denny up to date on his vaccines to be able to board him so we can’t book anywhere until tomorrow afternoon after his vet annual. So it’s all kind of last minute. Hopefully we’ll find someplace and if not we’ll just have a quiet birthday at home, my big plans for my 25th heart transplant anniversary never went anywhere so it wouldn’t really surprise me if my milestone bday doesn’t work out either my bday rarely goes well but that’s just life I guess. Either way we should still be able to have a nice dinner which is what I’m really excited about, even though I can’t eat a lot anymore. I’m only 35-40 mins from the casino so really I can go anytime if it doesn’t work out I just thought it’d be fun to have an irresponsible staycation somewhere fancy. I just wanted us all to have a fun time but I suppose we’ll see what the universe has in store for us. I really never thought I’d see this bday as I was supposed to die as a kid so it’s kind of a huge deal I just hope it’s a fun one, my last big milestone bday was my worst ever (long story short my Mother and I had a very toxic relationship at the time, she got shit faced insisted it was her bday and ruined the whole occasion) so as long as it’s better than that we’ll be good. I unofficially celebrated my bday when I was with my family earlier this week and had my favorite cake but much to my dismay my nephews were not fans of it but they loved my cooking and begged my brother to get lessons from me so that was nice. How do an 8 and 10 year old not like a caramel chocolate cake?! I guess the pecans were the problem they don’t have allergies they just don’t like nuts I guess. They’re very picky and light eaters but I guess that’s expected at that age, hell I’m a billion and am still very picky but it’s a texture issue for me not a taste one. All in all the visit was successful but my partner never got a chance to tell their Mom they’re nonbinary and use they/them pronouns and have a new name. The drive was awful, we got a speeding ticket on the way to my partner’s Mom’s and had insane traffic and weather driving back from my folks in Florida, turns out Denny barks incessantly when the windshield wipers are on 😭 We made it safely though so that’s what’s most important, I haven’t made any weight loss progress though because of all the holiday food and lack of exercise. No excuses now that my routine is back to normal, back to the elliptical and healthy foods. Just figured I’d update you lovelies on what’s going on with me, I’ll post later in the week after my cardiologist appointment to keep y’all up to date with that too. Sending lots of love.

XOXO

Sol

[s-creations]

Finding Green - Mario & Rabbids One Shot

The worlds in complete and utter chaos (again). Which wouldn't be an issue, if it wasn't for the fact that Mario can't fight like he normally could. Meaning relying on his normally tactics and power-ups are a no go.

Which also leads him to worry how his brother is doing.

Fandom: Mario & Rabbids Kingdom Battle Rating: General Audience Relationships: Luigi & Mario (Nintendo) Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Mario's a good brother, Mario's worried, Mario's freaking out slightly, Peach is sweet and caring, Luigi is shockingly in a bit of trouble, the world has changed and that's dangerous, the Rabbids talk in this one.

Really, at this point, destruction befalling the Mushroom Kingdom was to be expected. It was just a question of what caused it, why it was happening, and how to get it fixed. Mario, however, wouldn’t lie at the sinking feeling that entered his stomach when the sky darkened. Watching as a large, ominous portal opened in the sky brought back some rather unpleasant memories. End of Worlds being consumed by a black portal kind of memories. The panic rising further as Luigi floated by him, seeming to struggle against some invisible force. 

There’s no way the Dark Prognosticus could be active again, right? 

A strange sense of relief hit in finding out that it had nothing to do with that dark book. Instead, the cause of the current craziness were these strange creatures called ‘Rabbids’. Some wild looking, bi-pedal rabbit creatures with wide mouths and crazy ways of thinking. A small disk-like robot named Beep-O frantically explained how a specific Rabbid had control over a powerful item. Something that could combine items together. Which resulted in the Mushroom Kingdom looking like it all went through a blinder. 

Mario’s current companions, Beep-O dubbing them Rabbid Luigi and Rabbid Peach, were overly eager to stomp on their out of control friends. Happy to explore this insane world and to never really ask questions as to why it was like this. Mario felt weirdly content in knowing he had partners with him who just took everything in like it was a normal day. 

Because that gave him moments to worry about everyone else. 

For the longest time, Toads had been the only known being they’d come across. All just as confused as Mario was on how to traverse this new world. Days passed with only the Rabbids and Toads as travel partners. Beep-O, seeing Mario’s stress, had attempted to calm the hero.

“I’m sure the others are fine! All in the Mushroom Kingdom are strong and resourceful. …Well, besides the Toads, they seem more likely to panic… But everyone else, I have full confidence in! …Except the change in the environment has caused us some issues. You can’t fight your enemies normally… But-” 

The hovering robot quickly fell quiet at a small glare from Mario.

When they arrived at the kingdom’s castle, Mario felt all of the tension leave his shoulders. Eyes frantically looking around the ruined foundation. Holding back a wince realizing how absolutely destroyed this place was as well. There was a hopefulness to his search upon seeing so many familiar faces already at the castle. Meaning a confirmation that his worrying hadn’t been necessary.

Peach soon greeted the large group, thrilled upon seeing the number of Toads saved. Giving Mario a quick kiss on the cheek as thanks. She was provided the short version of the events by Beep-O. Nodding in understanding before giving a warm smile to the group. “Well, it can’t be helped for now. At least we have something of a plan to try and get this all fixed.”

“Too true your highness,” said Beep-O, “But, I don’t suppose you’ll allow us to rest before we continue on our journey.”

“Of course! I’m sure you’re all very tired. Please head inside, my assistants will be happy to get you what you need.”

“FOOD!” Rabbid Peach and Rabbid Luigi called out in absolute glee. Basically climbing over each other to get to the castle first. Beep-O was at least polite enough to bow and give a small ‘Thank you,’ before departing as well.

She turned to talk to Mario, only to find him searching the area once more. Frowning softly, Peach reached over to place a hand on the red-cladded hero’s shoulder. Causing him to flinch, his head snapping over to look at her. Clearly distraught.

“Is he here? Did Luigi already get here?” Mario asked, trying to keep his voice even. 

“...No, I haven’t seen him.”

That caused the pit of absolute fear to return and grow larger. Mario took a deep breath and set his face. 

“I’m sure he’s fine.” The princess offered in an attempt to calm Mario.

“It’s…so different, Peach,” the hero argued back weakly, “If you think it’s bad here, it’s 10 times worse out there. I can’t fight like I usually do. Normal hits, my power-ups, my Firehands, nothing. Nothing affects these enemies, just these blasters that I had to be given my Beep-O. I was fortunate enough to find people to help. But…I don’t know if he was that lucky. Or if he’s in a safe place. Or if he has what he needs to-”

Peach clasped her hands over one of Mario’s, offering a warm smile. “Luigi has some very interesting luck. Something that’s helped him out of a few dangerous scraps before. We’ll find him soon enough, don’t worry. He can handle himself just fine.”

Mario really wished it was that easy. Just keep looking for the positive outcome and it’ll all be fine. But he knew trouble seemed to cling to his brother. Knew Luigi was unintentionally accident prone. It wasn’t that Mario didn’t trust Luigi to keep himself safe. But that didn’t mean that Mario trusted this new world around them to not harm his brother. 

 Finding sleep was almost impossible that night, even being back in a regular bed with a stomach filled with a warm meal. Mario’s mind only thinking of the fact that Luigi wasn’t there to get the rest he no doubt needed.  He was itching to go back out when the sun rose once more. But had to wait when his Rabbid companions begged to have another large meal before heading out. 

The new area was a jungle, all paths uneven and crowded with wild vegetation. Unnerving sounds emanating from the shadowing depths. Mario attempted to keep Rabbid Luigi calm as they slowly made their way in. Rabbid Peach being unhelpful with teasing comments and playing ‘What’s out there that could eat us?’ guessing game. Which she’d just made for the occasion. 

“Can you please not do that?” Beep-O hissed at Rabbid Peach as she finished a round.

Who merely rolled her eyes before focusing on scrolling through her phone. “Oh shush, it’s just teasing. Not like there’s something in that overgrowth that’s actually to worry about with how strong we are. Right Mario?”

“Um, sure, we’ll be able to handle anything that we cross. But we should also save our energy to be on guard and not playing games.” Mario calmly meditated while patting the top of Rabbid Luigi’s head.

The other Rabbid dramatically sighed, but conceded with a loud, “Fine!”

Mario was silently thankful they could finally start making progress into the jungle. Not minding as Rabbid Luigi remained close. The deeper they went, the more dangerous it became. The terrain was hard to maneuver around. On top of that, the enemies were becoming stronger, with a few more tricks up their sleeves. Mario was not thrilled when he’d been inked for the first time. Having to rely on the Rabbids to move until the black substance was fully removed from his face.

As Rabbid Peach healed over a nasty gash, Mario could only panic in thinking, “How is Luigi handling this?”

He found his answer soon enough.

The group was following a new lead about the merging power Rabbid when they heard fighting coming from ahead. Some creature was roaring in anger, causing a ruckus and, from the way the ground shook, causing some heavy damage. 

“Don’t suppose…we could find a way around whatever is up ahead?” Rabbid Luigi requested quietly. 

“You wuss,” Rabbid Peach teased. Only to tense and fall quiet hearing a shriek of rage echo, “...But that might not be such a bad idea.”

Mario was about to agree when something new sounded. The familiar sound of crackling lighting. A panicked yell filled with fear and panic before being drowned out by another roar. The plumber was running off before the rest of the group could protest. Pushing past the thick foliage, drawing closer to the heavily fought battle.

He arrived just as a vine was slammed onto the ground. Said appendage belonging to a monstrosity of a mixture between a Rabbid and a Piranha Plant. Said Rabbid seeming to be wearing said plant as a suit. A mischievous smirk on their face as they towered over a clearly battered and bruised Luigi. The younger brother’s hands sparking with the leftover discharge from his previous lightning attack. Attempting to give a glare in return. But he was shaking and dangerously pale, so the attempt didn’t deter the towering creature. 

“Mario, what was the cause of your- WHAT IS THAT!?” Beep-O had just appeared in the clearing. Going from berating to absolute panic. The Pirabbid Plant’s attention turned from Luigi to the new arrivals in the battle arena. Rabbid Peach let out a small ‘Oooh.’ in impressed awe as she took a quick picture. 

Luigi also turned to the group. Fear turned to absolute joy and relief seeing his brother. Hands even dropping. “Mari-”

Another vine appeared, wrapping tightly around Luigi and picking the younger brother up. Luigi’s eyes widened realizing that he wasn’t able to breathe with the vine wrapped around his throat. The Pirabbid Plant giving a warning growl to the green-cladded hero, as if warning him that moving was going to be his worst decision.

Mario immediately pulled his blasters out, aiming directly at the creature. The other two followed quickly after. “Let him go!”

The Pirabbid Plant let out a hiss at the demand, Luigi letting out a choked gasp as the grip on him tightened. Casting a side glance towards the struggling brother, Mario’s heart fell as a wicked smirk crossed the creature’s face. They turned their attention back to the horrified hero and, with an easy flick, sent Luigi flying back. Mario let out a strangled cry of distress as he could only watch as his brother hit a nearby rock wall. 

Hard. 

Even from a distance, there was a clear, sickening crack. Luigi’s eyes made connection to Mario’s before closing as he slid down to the grassy terrain, slumping when he finally landed. Unmoving and limp as the tall grass swayed in the breeze. The cursed plant creature chuckled deeply as they turned back to the group. Clearly enjoying the rage and fear that crossed Mario’s face as their smile widened further. 

Mario didn’t remember much about that fight. It was long and challenging. Every attempt to reach his brother was thwarted when the creature would directly block his path. Or would even launch an attack that kept Luigi in a makeshift cage. It was a relief when the creature finally fell. Mario left his cover the moment he could and rushed towards Luigi. 

Pointedly ignoring Beep-O’s cry of, “Wait, we still may be in danger!”

Mario knelt over his brother. Moving slowly as he gently and cautiously cradled Luigi close. Checking over every bump, cut, and bruise that decorated the pale skin. His pulse was weak and his breathing was slow. Mario’s call out to his brother resulted with nothing in return. Luigi’s head slumping over onto his brother’s shoulder. 

“We need to get back to the castle, now.” Mario looked up to the rest of the group. Beep-O and Rabbid Luigi looking nervous while Rabbid Peach tapped her foot with her arms crossed. 

“The castle is too far,” Beep-O offered weakly, “and with how dangerous it’s already been…”

Rabbid Luigi softly asking, “Can…we help him here?”

“In the middle of a literal jungle? How do you propose we-”

“Ugh! Just move.” Rabbid Peach huffed and marched over. Dropping dramatically to kneel on the opposite side of Luigi.

Mario looked up to the Rabbid in confusion. “What are you-”

“You morons seem to have forgotten I can heal. This’ll take longer than normal. But it’ll be enough so we can get him back to the castle without issue. Unless we get into another bad fight like this one. He should probably sit out for a while…” 

The older brother watched as Rabbid Peach’s hands began to glow a gentle, pastel pink. Pressing her palms to Luigi’s forehead and chest. 

“Thank you.” Mario whispered. 

“Hush and let me focus,” said Rabbid Peach, but a small smile did appear on her face. They sat there and watched as a pulse of pastel pink energy traveled over Luigi. The color slowly returned to his cheeks, looking less pale than before. The other two companions inching forward to watch as the numerous cuts and bruises disappear. 

Mario felt a wave of relief wash over him as Luigi slowly started to wake. Unable to hold back a laugh of happiness as he shifted his brother closer. The younger’s eyes unfocused at first but eventually landed on Mario. 

“...H-Hey bro…” Luigi said quietly, a weak smile on his face.

Mario gave a wobbly smile in return, “H-Hey you… You really scared me.” 

“Sorry…didn’t mean to…”

Rabbid Peach huffed and leaned away after a few more seconds. The pastel pink light disappearing from Luigi. “That’s the best I can do. You’re still not 100% better, but better than what you were before. I would suggest not moving or doing anything too extreme for a while.” 

“Thank you… Um, who are you?” Luigi asked calmly. Eyes widening a bit further when Rabbid Luigi and Beep-O came into view. “Oh…yeah, I’m gonna need an explanation.”

So they set up camp. Luigi was more or less forced to sit still as the rest did the work. Eventually, all were sitting around a happily crackling fire. Food in hand while Beep-O attempts to tell the grand tales of what’s been happening. Rabbid Peach and Rabbid Luigi adding their own parts in, which annoyed the floating robot more than help. Causing the floating robot to try and raise his voice over the other’s interruptions. Which only caused the Rabbids to become more grand in their gestures and added details. Luigi didn’t seem to mind the chaos before him. Laughing softly on occasion as he listened and ate. Shuffling over slightly until his and Mario’s arm were touching. 

Mario smiled, leaning over to apply a bit of pressure. A silent reply of ‘I’m here, you’re okay.’

Luigi relaxed further at this, head casually resting against his brother’s. Soon enough falling asleep with his arms slipping from his lab and onto the ground. Mario quickly, but gently, takes the empty plate before it lands and puts it off to the side. Wrapping a protective arm around his brother. The younger sleeping on as Beep-O attempted to bring order back to the story. Only for Rabbid Luigi to now claimed they had faced down a gang of dinosaur aliens. The group not realizing that their two part audience had fallen asleep. 

[inevitablemoment]

Take This Diploma And Shove It

Word Count: 739

Warnings: References to bullying, references to ableism, references to uses of the “R” slur, family estrangement

Fandom: Ghostbusters

Pairings: Marie Spengler x Julian Matthews, Egon Spengler x Cathleen Paige

Important notes for the timeline: Callie has left and moved in with relatives on Cathleen’s side of the family in Chicago.

Marie moved up a couple of grades, and is graduating high school at sixteen, just like I headcanoned Egon did. At this time, she’s dating her childhood friend Julian Matthews.

Janine and Louis’ daughter, Lily, was born in 1993, shortly after the move to Summerville. She is played by Mariah Rose Faith of Team StarKid fame.

Since Trevor’s birthday is in February and he is stated to be 15 in Afterlife, he would be three months old at this point.

————————

“And now, to speak on behalf of our graduating class, our valedictorian speaker, Marie Spengler.”

Egon and Cathleen applauded as Marie walked up to the podium, though it was sadly lost among the boos from the rest of the graduates and their families. Julian, Janine, and Lily cheered her name to try to cover up the uses of the “R” word coming from the bullies, and Louis futzed with the camera to try to get it to work.

Still, Marie tried to put on an excited (if very forced) smile, and held out her stack of index cards. She looked out into the audience, looking for familiar faces.

She saw Dad, Mom, Julian, Aunt Janine, Uncle Louis, Lily...

But Callie wasn’t there.

Mom had tried to tell her not to expect Callie to come. After all, considering all the issues that Callie and Dad were having, Callie now had a baby to take care of.

A baby that Marie hadn’t met.

No, Marie thought. I’m not going to think about that today. Today’s about my accomplishments.

“Today is the day that I close the book on my school career here at Summerville High--” she began.

“CAN WE THROW THAT BOOK AT YOUR HEAD, YOU FREAK?!” a voice in the audience called out, interrupting her.

The smile on Marie’s face disappeared for a second, but she remembered what Lily had told her. If she just ignored them...

But Lily had told her to ignore them everyday since it had been proven that the teachers would be no help. It hadn’t exactly been helpful advice.

She looked back into the audience, hoping that maybe she had overlooked Callie.

She hadn’t.

Then, she looked back down at the speech that she had prepared. Her father had helped her write it since she came back to school for the holidays.

But these people wouldn’t exactly care about that, would they?

“You know what?”

She ripped the index cards in half. Louis had finally gotten the camera to start recording.

“None of you are listening to a damn thing I’m saying anyway.”

Marie threw the torn-up cards down on the floor of the stage.

“It’s not like I was friends with any of you people,” she said. “No, you were too busy shoving me into the boys’ locker room, or into my own locker, or writing that I was the R word on the wall of the girls’ bathroom.”

Lily’s brown eyes widened behind her thick glasses, and Julian cringed as he was reminded of every incident between Marie and her tormentors.

“But, I admit, I was never a social butterfly,” Marie acquiesced. “I was never... what was it? ‘Normal’? But, how could I be normal? My parents are the fucking Dirt Farmer and the Wicked Witch of Summerville!”

While Egon and Cathleen felt mortified that Marie had chosen that exact moment to finally tell off everyone in this town, they couldn’t deny that they felt proud of her.

“I’ve tried to water myself down to make myself likeable for you because, surprisingly, I wanted friends!” she exclaimed. “And I was lucky enough to have two-- my boyfriend Julian, and my cousin Lily. But now that I’m going to college-- to Stanford, I might add, which is farther than any of your kids are gonna go-- I’m free to just be myself! And if I never see any of you close-minded, slack-jawed yokels again, it’ll be too soon!”

There was a collective gasp from the more dramatic people in the audience.

“And by this fall, I’ll be in California. I’ll be top of my class there, I’ll find more friends who appreciate me, and none of you will be holding me back.”

Marie continued on, not seeming to take a breath.

“I’ve already given up a lot because of you-- my childhood, my sister! And my father, whom all of you have ostracized, has given up more than I have! And one day, you’re gonna wish that you had him on your side, I swear to God!”

The entire gymnasium was silent. Marie finally smiled again, feeling as if she had lifted a weight off of her chest.

“Congratulations to the class of 2006!”

She returned to her seat among the graduates, purposely disassociating herself from the glares she was getting. It’s not like they were worse than the ones she had gotten for just existing.

Louis pressed the record button, ending the video.

[rekikiri]

Bonfire jack-o'-lantern cinnamon and fireside! (@stabbyfoxandrew)

bonfire (describe your dream house) - okay kinda long answer because I’ve thought about this many times since once the interest rates are down i will likely be getting a house lmao. apologies for the long answer.

so I want a brick house, preferable the colors kinda muted. either gray and black brick or red and black. idk why it’s just nice to me. for the inside, I want a very open living room and a decently sized kitchen. at least probably 4-5 bedrooms so that if i choose to have or adopt kids they’d each get their own room AND I can keep having a game room/office. (Im in a two bedroom so it’s very convenient to keep all expensive electronics and a lot of my nerd shit away from the other rooms).

(doing a break here)

Id LOVE having a wall full of shelves with one of those ladders to have my own personal library to fill with books and trinkets. and a tall fence to have space for when I get a dog (not getting a dog in an apartment, I cannot consistently walk a dog on a leash and go to parks where I’m at). hopefully no neighbors super close they need to be a bit away from me

jack o’ lantern (if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?) - I already have a few celebrities that I’ve been told I look very similar to (and one who my best friend who once said I look so much like this actress she couldn’t comfortably watch a triggering show). but maybe sandra bullock? she’s one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen. i don’t do celebrity crushes but if I had to give one, it’d be her (or mariska hargitay!! another pretty pretty lady). I love them <3 genuinely the first two women I remember seeing and being like…woah beautiful lady. and I already have the same hair and eye color so it wouldn’t be like…drastically not me

cinnamon (if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?) - hmmmm not sure. not too far back because I want to have Rights, ya know? maybe gonna steal your answer @stabbyfoxandrew and say be an adult in 90s-00s. I do not want to live in my hometown bc it’s not at all progressive lmao. not sure where tho just maybe somewhere with a higher population but not a big city, idk. boring answer haha

fireside (if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?) - sooo I have a bit of an all over the place preferred styles and also a few things I specifically want. a few of my favorite styles are dark academia, a lot of black and baggy clothes (kinda emo style stuff), and I fucking loveeee sweaters too. I live in a hot and humid state AND I overheat so easily so I cannot wear my preferred clothes that much of the year, and dark academia stuff would be too much money right now for not a lot of use.

specific pieces!! I am dying to buy a few more pairs of highs top platform converse. I love those so much. AND I want a pair of platform doc martens. I have a normal pair but I want Stompy Boot. i also want to not have the issue where i have a primary every day shoe because I’m an anime character apparently and almost exclusively wear one pair of shoes for ages, and only swaps during the new season outfit change. currently they are my red high top platform converse. (before these it was my timberlands lmao).

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I JUST HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO SAY IN MY ANSWERS

[jase-is-ace]

Back into the Pit

Chapter 30: Hunger

The next few weeks revolved around Audrey leaving the toons at home while she was at work. She let Twist know that she was in charge while the animator was out. Twist saluted her and signed that she would try to keep the house in one piece.

Audrey gave a thumbs up, high fiving Bendy before locking the front door and heading towards her car. She messaged Henry the previous night again. They had been talking about different options on how to help Twist out.

So far Audrey had successfully made the ink realm a little less unorganized and hellish, according to Henry.

He would report progress and would let Allison occasionally message her as well. The animator had drawn out rough sketches of new and better living places for all the inhabitants, putting them all in the Illusion of Living book. It seemed anything she put in the book would find itself a home within the ink realm.

The lost ones and searchers now all had a place full of warmth and food.

That was a great sign, but her work wasn’t over just yet. There was still the glaring issue of experiments that Wilson had done. Those horrible spider mutants were still attacking the normal inhabitants, which could not keep happening as far as Audrey was concerned.

Allison and Tom were working to exterminate as much as they could, but it wouldn’t be enough. And then there was the problem of the remaining keepers. Without Wilson for guidance, the heinous experiments found shelter in the depths of the studio.

Luckily, they haven’t caused any major problems yet. Audrey and Henry feared they would stir up something later though.

The young animator was having a hard time keeping her mind solely on her work that day. So many ideas and possible solutions buzzed around in her brain that she couldn’t shut out.

Would Twist eventually revert back to her original form in the real world?

Would that affect her hunger?

What about the Ink Demon?

That thought sent an uncomfortable shiver down Audrey’s spine. She didn’t want to think about that.

Audrey tried to finish as many frames as she could. She met the bare minimum, which was very much below her usual standard. Management didn’t make a big deal out of it, but she knew they were also surprised by the sudden shortcoming. Especially after they so graciously allowed her to have that well deserved break.

The animator sighed as she walked back through the door of her home. A bit of a struggle since she was holding the groceries she so desperately needed.

The moment she locked the door, she heard a loud crash coming from the bathroom, and then a whistle.

She dropped everything onto the floor and bolted towards the sound. Audrey practically burst the door open and was greeted by the sight of Twist, in her monster form. She was currently on the ground trying to regain her composure. Scratch marks littered the wall. Audrey spotted Bendy huddled in the corner with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.

The demoness was huffing, gripping her stomach.

Oh no.

“Twisty? Are you…alright?” Audrey was slow to approach, gesturing for Bendy to come to her.

The toon managed to maneuver around the demoness without riling her up. Bendy quickly ducked behind Audrey, hiding by her leg.

Audrey wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to provoke Twist. She was clawing at the ground, leaving deep marks in the hard tile.

Shampoo and conditioner bottles were knocked down from the shelf near the bathtub.

“Bendy, why don’t you go to your room and wait there for a bit?” Audrey whispered to the toon. He looked up at her with heavy concern. Audrey gave a smile and pushed him back towards the door.

Bendy gave a large frown, he didn’t want to disobey Audrey. But he also didn’t feel comfortable with leaving her to deal with this on her own.

Reluctantly, the toon left the scene, leaving Audrey alone with the feral demon.

“Okay, Twisty. I’m gonna get you something to placate your hunger, alright?” The animator reassured.

Her response was a low growl and more scraping.

The animator pressed her lips into a thin line.

Have I really neglected her for so long?

Guilt over came Audrey as she rethought all those weeks she was focused on fixing the ink realm, forgetting to help the person she promised to fix.

Audrey booked it towards the front door, grabbing the fast food she had gotten along with the groceries. She grabbed the hamburger and fries and ran back to the bathroom.

Twist was now facing the wall, back turned towards the entrance. Audrey gulped, setting down the meal for the demon.

“Here you go. I’ll just leave you to that. Um, let me know if it helps.”

Another growl, a much more aggressive one. A warning to leave.

Audrey shut the door behind her. Half her mind begged her to lock the door, she shook her head. No. Twist wouldn’t hurt them.

The sound of muffled paper tearing came from behind the door, Twist was devouring the hamburger. Audrey sighed, sliding down the only barrier standing between her and a starving predator.

Bendy came into her peripheral vision.

“Bendy! I thought I told you to go to your room.” Audrey said sternly.

“Twist was very upset these past few days.” He signed somberly. The animator gave a quizzical look.

“What do you mean?”

“The hunger was hurting her. Didn’t know what to do.” Bendy explained.

“She said not to tell you. Even when she started whining from the pain.”

Audrey stared at the toon while her thoughts ran wild. Why didn’t Twist tell her? The whole point of her being in the real world was so they could fix it together.

Bendy slowly approached the door, placing his hand on the door as the sound of snarling became more apparent.

“My fault.”

“What? What do you mean ‘your fault’ Bendy?” Audrey furrowed her brows at the devil.

“Attacked her, hurt her badly, spent all her energy. Now she is starving because of me.” He signed; tears started to prick at the corners of his pie cut eyes.

“Oh, Bendy.” Audrey whispered. She held her arms out; the toon hesitated before climbing into her lap.

They sat there for a few minutes, waiting for Twist to settle down.

The scratching at the door never stopped; however, it calmed down a bit. Audrey picked Bendy up as she stood at her feet. She opened the door partially, just enough to illuminate the dark bathroom but not enough to aggravate the demoness.

Twist was nowhere in sight, Audrey peaked into the room. Nothing.

Suddenly Twist’s face was right in front of her. Upside down, to be more specific. Audrey let out a yelp and took a step back. The door swung open fully. Twist landed to the floor on all fours. She had her teeth bared. Hunched over, ready to pounce.

“Twist- “Audrey barely sputtered out before the demoness lunged forward.

The toon in Audrey’s arms whistled loudly as she ducked out of the way. Audrey bolted up the stairs, locking herself and Bendy in her bedroom.

This was not the most ideal situation.

Twist did not pursue them, oddly enough. Audrey could hear pans clattering downstairs in the kitchen. A few doors flying open. More growling. Bendy tugged at Audrey’s sleeve, pointing at the floor. The animator placed the toon on the floor.

“Let me out. I will fix.” Bendy hurriedly signed.

“No! I am not risking your life!” Audrey said sternly. The toon shot her a look before diving into his own ink puddle.

“What the-Bendy!” The animator unlocked her door and bolted down the stairs.

When she reached the kitchen, she spotted Twist on all fours staring at Bendy who was signing…something.

He was moving too fast for Audrey to keep up.

Twist scraped at the floor with her sharp claws. Contemplating.

The demoness seemed to agree with whatever the toon had just asked.

Audrey refrained from snatching Bendy away as he walked over to the drooling demon. The toon stopped right in front of her, holding out his arm, looking away.

The animator watched with bated breath as Twist leaned in. She grabbed Bendy’s hand rather harshly.

Without a second thought, she bit into his little arm. The toon winced, squinting.

Audrey audibly gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. Neither of the ink beings moved for a few moments. Twist pulled away, inky blood trailing down her mouth.

Bendy held his arm, smiling at his friend.

He helped her!

He actually helped her out for once.

She picked him up without warning, the demoness carried him and simply walked past Audrey as if nothing weird had just occurred.

Audrey whipped her head around, dumbfounded. Twist went back into the bathroom, toon in her arms.

When the animator peaked inside, she spotted Bendy sitting on the sink counter.

Twist was patching him up, it seemed.

“Um, Twist? What was that?” Audrey asked. The demon exhaled, hot steam swerving around her teeth. Bendy squinted his eyes as her breath hit his face.

“Hunger. Bendy helped.” She signed, momentarily taking her hands away from treating the little toon.

“You BIT him.” Audrey said, exasperated.

“Needed to consume. No other option.”

The animator furrowed her eyebrows in contemplation. She really needed to find an alternative. This could not happen again.

Suddenly, Audrey’s eyes widened, having an idea that might work out for all of them.

“Twist, what if I found a way to let you transition between your forms more fluently!” She stepped into the bathroom, stepping over the endless claw marks that littered the floor.

The demoness finished wrapping the toon’s arm. Turning to the artist, she cocked her head quizzically.

“That way, if you feel your hunger pangs, you can just switch!”

“Wont work. Hunger affects me either way.” Twist quickly refuted.

“Well, we may as well just start there, right? It would be nice to not rely on those awful signal towers to transform you. Maybe I could fix you up the same way I did Bendy.” Audrey thought more to herself.

“You want to lock my true form away?” Twist signed.

“Huh? No, it’s to help you transform at will.” The animator quickly corrected her wording. Twist seemed to relax.

“Sound goo to you?” Audrey asked, holding her hand out.

Twist contemplated. Bendy looked between the two ladies, expecting.

The demoness nodded, albeit reluctantly.

The two shook hands.

It could work.

It was a start, and that is definitely better than nothing.

Chapter 29 / Chapter 31

Freaking finally! This took way too long. I really burnt myself out with that shipahoy Dudley chapter💀

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

The Marali Festival Commentary Part 4

Nearing the end! I hope you guys have enjoyed reading these as much as I have enjoyed making them.😊

**SPOILERS FOR THIS FIC BELOW**  

Chapter 10- Cooking For Each Other

Today was meant to be the least stressful day of the Marali Festival. The passion for your family. A day to spend together doing various activities where Thorin wouldn’t be required to be ‘King Thorin’ or to have to put on airs, but could just relax with the people who genuinely loved him. And then his sister ruined it.

I am the oldest of three myself. I have plenty of experience to pull from when it comes to writing sibling interactions. (This includes making one super melodramatic over minor issues.)

“Personally, I think you deserved a lot worse.” Dis sang.

On second thought, maybe Thorin didn’t want to celebrate the Passion for Family at all because at this rate he was well on his way to the ‘Passion for Ignoring People Altogether’.

Relatable. When my siblings and I get together, it is always 1 vs. 2 with the 2 picking on the 1. Fili slid in as a perfect substitute for Frerin to keep up the dynamic.

Thorin tried to remain neutral at the offer. On one hand, he wanted to accept the truce flag and try to get back to normal with the hobbit. On the other hand, he hated cooking. It wasn’t that he was particularly terrible at it, but he had grown up with cooks to do the work for him. Even after the fall of Erebor, it was easier to let someone else provide meals or to get a meal from the inn where he stayed than to get ingredients to make it from scratch. Bilbo, he’s come to learn though, loved to cook.

So I certainly lean into the fanon HC from time to time of Thorin’s inability to cook. But I actually HC that the few ‘spoiled prince’ habits that stuck with him through the years was he doesn’t want to cook. So he messes up on purposes sometimes so people won’t ask him to do it.

“I’m sorry.” Thorin stated.

“You’ve said that.” Bilbo remarked, but his tone seemed lighter than yesterday at least.

“I’ll say it as many times as necessary until I feel forgiveness is deserved.”

I sometimes worry that I make Thorin ‘too’ much of a jackass when he flies off the handle. So I sometimes feel like I overcompensate Thorin feeling guilty about it for days, weeks, months later. He’s a bit of the self-punishing type.

Chapter 11- Picture Time

There is NOTHING better than when your siblings enter a serious relationship, and you can pull out the baby books. This chapter was the Middle Earth equivalent.

“It is a high honor indeed.” Thorin stated gravely, his arms crossed. “None of your kind have ever been invited.”

I need it to be noted that, I love Thorin accepting Tauriel fics! I just like to play with different versions of him sometimes, and Thorin just had so much animosity in the movies that I couldn’t see him getting over it completely. He’s getting better though!

“Actually, Kili mentioned he learned his bowmanship from you, Your Majesty. I would be most interested to compare techniques as your nephew is quite skilled.”

If Thorin knew he was being played, he said nothing of it as he immediately launched into what seemed to be a well told lecture on the difference between dwarven and elvish bows. Bilbo had to hide a smile at Fili’s relieved expression and Kili’s over the moon eyes. Yes, this was quite a big step for the dwarf king, and Bilbo couldn’t be more proud of him.

See? Also, I need like...SO MANY MORE FICS talking about Thorin’s prowess with a bow.

He flipped to the next page, and Thorin couldn’t be much older than nine or ten, and while it was clear he was trying to sit still, you could see the mischief dancing in his eyes.

And in the category of ‘things no one ever asks me about, and I don’t offer up information even though I should’, so I actually mathematically calculated the relationship between hobbit, man, and dwarven ages. So when Bilbo says ‘nine or ten’, he means for a hobbit. Which is about 5 years old for a man, so 11-12 is Thorin’s actual age.😅 Why am I so extra?

Also, yes. I 100% believe that Thorin was a holy terror as a young child.

She heaved a large sigh. “I won’t do his job for him if that’s what you’re getting at, Master Baggins. No matter how much I worry he’s too thick to get it right. But, I wanted you to know, to me and my sons you are already family. And always will be.”

Bilbo felt an unexpected prickle at the corners of his eyes at the dwarrowdam’s kind words. He had always considered the Company his family, but it was nice to know the reverse was true as well. Especially from someone he did not meet until after Erebor had been reclaimed.

I love Bilbo and Dis interactions. Heartfelt included.

Chapter 12- Giving/Receiving Gifts

And FINALLY! The misunderstanding comes to light...

Bilbo even found the desire to wear just a small amount of jewelry in the form of a handsome silver brooch and ear cuff.

I like to believe the Company helped Bilbo pick out pieces in the treasury that would make him more ‘dwarven’, and Bilbo 1. being a bit of a clothes horse and 2. knowing the importance of fitting into society’s expectations would relent.

“Being king means he has a lot of apologies to pass out.” Bofur teased.

Bofur was clearly not exaggerating as the line of dwarves in front of Thorin was nearly out the door, and the dwarf looked positively thrilled with the development.

I imagine Thorin has to deal with a lot of people during the year, and he’s probably not as cordial as he should be.

Bilbo’s smile slipped almost immediately.

“That’s it?”

Thorin froze, and Bilbo could almost physically feel everyone suck in a breath.

Can you imagine what all these other dwarves are thinking? Like ‘oh what Shire custom did the king forget with his apology gift?’ or ‘Had he disrespected the Company’s Burglar twice?!’

“Master Baggins, Bilbo.” Tabor amended. “You…you have always been very kind to me, and I just want you to know that…you are a gem greater than any the Halls of Erebor have seen before.”

Bilbo was smiling the whole time until that last line. It rang with a vague sense of familiarity until it settled like a rock in his gut. He knew exactly where that line was from, and he could feel the blood draining away. No, no it couldn’t be.

The LEVEL of secondhand embarrassment here. Bilbo’s just like ‘please don’t do it, dwarf I see as a small child’.

“I would be the luckiest dwarf in all of Erebor, if you would consider courting me.”

What was Fili and Kili’s back-up plan if Bilbo had accepted just out of sheer awkwardness?? An AU for later consideration...

[faithintheunknownsblog]

A/N: I’m sorry for those who read the original already because nearly all of this is exactly the same as before. I’ve only changed it to where it’s no longer connected to canon and Alucard is a human. Once again I’m so sorry for doing this, it won’t happen again. It’s only chapter one and two

Chapter Summary: Within a month you're already having more anxiety than what you need to, and on top of that you have to come up with a way to fix your little brother's hearing aids with no strings attached to who you asked to fix them

TW: Stripping, anxiety, implied drug dealing, body image issues, manipulation

Master List

Red Ink

Chapter Two: Partners In Crime

It ’s only been a month and you’re already wondering if going back to school was a bad idea. Six essay assignments are already due for a few of your classes in the next four days, you’re already done four of them and almost done with the other two. It’s stressful as Hell.

Plus your roommates are young trashy college girls, so you don’t get much sleep. Since whenever you’re trying to, they're getting ready for a party. But you’re managing to get your schoolwork done, which is really all you care about. Well that and keeping your job without getting caught, you don’t need your personal life spread across the campus. That’s why you wash all your work clothes at the laundromat that’s near the strip club you work at and keep them in the suitcase you have in the trunk of your car.

You’re the first to get into class as always, meeting Alucard at the doors of the auditorium as he opens them. You give him a slight nod as a ‘thank you’ before entering the room and sitting down in your normal seat at the front of the room. You’re here early everyday, yet you and Alucard have never said a word to one another.

You pull out your laptop and the book to work on the assignment due for his class, you’re nearly done. Alucard sits in the chair behind his desk, pretending to read a book. When he’s actually stealing glances at you, he’s been doing that since the second time you showed up early to his class. He noticed that when you get buried in your work you’re oblivious to most things, and he finds some of the little things you do without realizing amusing. When you’re mad at not knowing how to word something you’ll make a face and silently mock the words, then change the sentence. When you proofread your work you drum your fingers on the edge of the desk. If you get really bored you cross your eyes for a moment, then go back to whatever it is you were doing.

You finally finish your essay, throwing your fist in the air out of triumph then press the submit button. You look up at Alucard as your email gets sent to him. He opens up the email and sees the eleven page essay you just submitted. The minimum requirement was four pages, and you exceeded all his expectations. “No wonder why it took so long.”

You let out a nervous chuckle as you see his eyes skim across the screen, “heh- sorry…”

Alucard looks up at you and smiles softly, “it’s absolutely fine. I look forward to reading it, but can I ask you something?”

“Uhm, sure,” you say. You‘re a bit nervous because this is the first time he ever talked to you outside of when you ask a question.

“So what do you plan on majoring in?” Alucard asks, with how well you write and how many notes you take it seems like you’re really interested in history.

“Teaching literary arts,” you say with a smile because you plan on becoming a special needs teacher. You don’t need to take such advanced courses for that, but you know you’d get bored with classes. Though do you really want to be stressed over bored?

“I see,” Alucard nods. Literary arts part isn’t surprising, but he wouldn’t picture you as a teacher because you seem stressed constantly. Though he can understand since you are constantly putting more work into your essays than you need to. Alucard can only imagine how late you’re staying up to get your work done.

“A eleven page essay gives that kind of thing away, doesn’t it?” You scratch your head a bit and a small blush of embarrassment covers your face.

“I don’t care to read it, as long as it isn’t poorly written,” Alucard says plainly. He knows you’re essay is going to be worth reading because you alway put your all into any of your works.

“I think you’ll enjoy it Mr. Tepes!” You say with a quick reassuring nod. You always pay attention to how your teachers go on about their topics because it makes a difference on how you’ll word your essays. You make sure that your works appeal to your reader.

“I won’t doubt it,” Alucard chuckles and looks at the other students starting to pile in as the bell gets closer to ringing. A few are clearly hungover, which immediately sours his mood and makes him scowl. His class was the advanced course of one that was the minimum requirement to graduate from university.

So why are they taking his class when they clearly don’t care to learn? That’s what pisses him off. If they don’t want to learn then don’t take his class, it’s that simple. But he knows they’re just taking his class because advanced classes look good on job application.

At least the people who actually care to be here show it, though they don’t put in as much work as you do. Unless they’re trying to kiss up to him, but he can tell that’s not what you’re doing. You’re just a passionate writer who goes all out with your work because you can’t help but put your everything into what you do.

That’s part of the reason why Alucard continues to be so theatrical when he teaches, since he wants you to stay interested and have fun. Who would have ever thought that he wants to impress one of his students with how he teaches.

Not that you know the difference, but his class is your favorite because he is so captivating. You’re never bored and no matter how tired you are you could never fall asleep in his class since you don’t want to ever miss a single second of it.

You’re always a bit disappointed when his class ends because you want to continue to learn and you wish Alucard taught all your classes. But sadly it doesn’t work that way, though you can always look forward to tomorrow because of him.

Alucard also looks forward to it since he’ll get to see you, someone who actually cares to come to his class and appreciates the work he puts into it.

=======

Since it is the last Thursday of the month it’s demon night at the club. So your regular- that’s an engineer- will be there, which gives you the chance to attempt to get Samual’s hearing aids fixed. You just have to figure out how to get away with it, though what you do in your free time is your business.

When you get to the club you notice that your essay grade is an A+ which makes you smile wide. Then you change into the outfit you know the engineer likes the best, and you know which one it is because he always pays the most when you wear it.

It’s called Satan’s Kiss, and it’s a gothic black cutout strapped buckle decorated sexy lingerie dress. You don’t understand the appeal but to each their own, as long as you get paid you couldn’t care less.

As soon as you strut out onto the stage you get your typical cheers, and see who you’re looking for move to the front in order to see you better. Which is exactly what you were hoping for because without a doubt he was going to ask for a private dance soon. 

And you were right because that is exactly what happened. You waste no time with giving the man what he wants, but towards the end you whisper in his ear to ask him to meet you outside for your break. Though it wasn’t for another hour. 

He has to go through the front exit of the club to a nearby fast food place, and you have to cover up with a coat then leave through the back exit into the alleyway behind the club. Which is protected with a high chain link fence on all sides along with surveillance cameras. Though it has a gate that the workers are allowed to borrow the keys for when they need to. 

So you meet him there and only stand by the table he’s sitting at, “hey.”

“There’s my favorite worker,” he grins.

“I’m going to cut to the chase-” you say plainly, “-I need a favor.”

“Favor?” He furrows his brow, that caught him off guard. 

“Yes,” you say and pull Sammy’s hearing aids out of your jacket pocket. “I need you to fix these, I think it’s just that there is a loose wire in them.”

“Fine, I’ll fix them,” he takes them from your hand.

“Thank you,” you let out a sigh of relief. 

“But under one condition,” he says. 

You should have expected that and you hide your annoyance when you ask him, “what is it?”

“You let me take you on a date,” he smirks. He’s been wanting to take you out since he has laid eyes on you.

“I can’t do that, it’s against the rules,” you lie your ass off and hope he doesn’t know that.

He frowns, “are you sure about that?”

You nod, “mhm, it’s one of the first things they told us.”

He pulls out his phone and looks it up, “hm, there is nothing here saying that it’s not allowed.”

“Fuck!” was the only word that came to your mind and you stand there in silence because you can’t think of anything else.

A giant grin crosses his face, “I’ll see you at Le Gavroche this Saturday at eight.” 

“Fine,” you begin to walk away.

“Can I get your number?” He gets up and follows you.

“You’re not getting my number unless we hit it off,” you say plainly and go back to the club. You had to end your shift, and think of a way to get out of the date while still getting Sammy’s hearing aids.

=======

You can’t sleep at all when you get back to your dorm because of all the furious thoughts running through your mind. This would be two days you have been awake in a row, and you aren’t even tired because your anger is keeping you up. 

Well, you aren’t tired until the sun comes up, because of course that is how your body decides to work today. You know you should sleep, but that doesn’t keep you from going to class. 

Besides you need to cheer up and you know Alucard’s class is bound to do that. So you get up and get ready early as always. But before going to class you grab the last of your Monster’s- the seven large cans- out of your mini fridge, opening one and drinking it while on the way to class.

Alucard has a book in front of his face in order to hide the small smile that creeps across his face as soon as he knows you’re approaching his class by the sound of your footsteps down the empty hall. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t already grown a little fond of you, but ONLY a little bit and it is platonically. 

You also have grown fond of him as a teacher, though if it wasn’t for you being Alucard’s student you would try to be friends with him. But you are one of his students, so he can’t be friends with you since that would be considered inappropriate by people.

You would like to not care about the rules, but you 1) don’t want to make things weird and 2) you wouldn’t want to jeopardize his job, because that means he won’t be able to be your teacher anymore. Though… if Alucard was your friend he could still teach you history. 

You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts, and you’re going to blame them on your lack of sleep. Sitting down as you finish up your first Monster and just keeping it on the table for now, then open up your laptop along with opening another Monster.

It’s unhealthy but you currently do not care, you need the energy and Monster is going to be how you get it whether it fucks up your body or not. Your last essay was due tomorrow and you were almost done, so you’re going to get it done while you can. 

Alucard watches as usual, but this time he’s somewhat concerned because it’s clear something is off since your eyes are more tired than usual and you already finished one Monster. He contemplates asking you what’s wrong, but he decides better of it because he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries that are set up as a student and teacher relationship. So he just continues to watch you from behind his glasses and book.

Though he gets very concerned when you’re already halfway through your second Monster within less than five minutes, and you don’t even realize it. 

“Yes!” You say a bit too loud when you finish your essay and submit it. 

“Finished another one?” Alucard asks, finally taking the book away from his face so you can see his smile.

Before you answer you finish the rest of your Monster in one gulp, then nod and with a relieved voice say, “yes and thank God that was my last one.”

Alucard didn’t have a good relationship with God, so he didn’t care much for you using His name. It’s not like you know that though, so he won’t hold it against you. “How many pages was the minimum?”

“Seven,” you say and open another Monster. At this point it’s just robotic.

“And how many pages did you write?” Alucard asks, knowing that it’s going to be a ridiculous number.

“Twelve,” you sheepishly say. 

Alucard chuckles, he isn’t surprised whatsoever by you going above and beyond, “impressive. I’ve never seen someone work as hard as you have.”

You blush a bit, you have never been used to compliments, so you’re awkward when you say “thank you Sir, I really appreciate it.”

“Just don’t overwork yourself,” Alucard says. He’s surprised that you’re not somehow having heart failure. He knows damn well that your heart has to be speeding up as you begin drinking your third Monster.

Once you’re done your long sip you shake your head, “I’m not, don’t worry!” 

“Really?” Alucard raises an eyebrow and points to the Monster you’re currently taking another sip of, “because that’s your third energy drink in a row. At least that I know of.”

You nervously laugh, maybe you were a bit overworked but it was for a good reason. Also you’ve put your body through a lot more than just some sleep deprivation in the past. “I’ve dealt with tougher situations than these, Professor Tapes, I can handle Uni.”

Alucard wants to ask you ‘like what’ but he knows that is too personal, also the rest of his students are starting to pile in. 

Something that Alucard says in his lesson gives you an idea of exactly what to do in order to make sure that the date works in your favor.

At the end of class you get weird looks when you throw away your three empty Monster cans, but you personally don’t care. You consider the other students here as children, and if they all get wasted on the regular they have no right to judge your raging caffeine addiction. 

=======

It’s the night of your date and you put your plan into action, but you’re going to need Sammy. You hate that you’re using him as a pawn, but you think it’s a way to make sure the engineer fixed the hearing aids. Plus he will hopefully be scared away by the idea of you having a kid. 

So after you get ready and let Peter know you’re picking your baby brother up to get his hearing aids fixed and that you’ll bring Sammy home when you’re done.

‘What are we doing?’ Sammy asks in sign language when you pick him up, he knows something is up since you’re in a dress and have more makeup on than usual.

‘Going out to dinner,’ you sign back and get him into your car then drive to one of the fanciest- and most expensive- restaurants in all of London; Le Gavroche.

When you get there you see the engineer waiting for you at the door, but in order for you to have your plan work you need to have Sammy stay in the car for only a few minutes. 

‘You stay here, I’ll be right back,’ you sign and Sammy nods.

You get out and walk up to the engineer before he makes it to your car, sweetly saying to him “hey.” 

“Hi,” he says with a smirk. “Shall we go in?”

“Give me the hearing aids first and get us a table,” you tell him.

He scoffs, “I’m not falling for that. If I give them to you you’re going to go back to your car and book it.”

That actually wasn’t your plan but they would have been a good one too, “fine. Just go in and get us a table, I’ll meet you in there after I get my bag out of my car.”

He nods and goes in, and you go back to your car getting Sammy out. Then walk in and find the engineer at a table, his eyes going wide when he sees the plus one you brought. “You have a kid?!”

You nod and grab a chair from a nearby table, sitting it at the table that is supposed to be for two. With a big smile you say, “his name is Samuel, but we all call him Sammy.”

“I see,” the engineer says with a slight nod. “So why is he here?”

“Because I couldn’t find a babysitter in time,” you fake a frown and the look in the engineer’s eyes you can tell your plan is working.

Sammy signs to you asking, ‘who is this?

You sign back, ‘a man I tricked into fixing your hearing aids. I need you to act like I’m your mom.’

Sammy giggles a bit and so do you, he’s your little partner in crime.

“What did he say?” The engineer asks, kind of nervous about the giggles.

“He’s just wondering where his hearing aids are because I told him that you were a kind man who was going to fix them.” You lie, but it’s not like he’s going to know the difference.

“Here,” the engineer hands them to you and you give them to Sammy.

Sammy puts them in his ears and attaches the receivers, then turns them on. He can’t hear anything currently because it’s too quiet in the restaurant.

“Sammy,” you say his name and his face immediately lights up because he can finally hear again.

“Mommy!” Sammy shouts excitedly, following along with the plan but he is also extremely happy to hear your voice once again. 

“Shh-” you put a finger to your lips and then whisper, “-you can’t be loud buddy.”

Samuel nods and looks at the engineer, then tries to hug him. But the engineer quickly waves his hands and says, “no need to thank me.”

He didn’t want to be touched by Sammy because he doesn’t like kids, and he wants to get out of here. So he stands up and says, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” you say with a sweet smile, and as soon as the engineer leaves the table you and Sammy look at each other. Both of you are grinning because the plan is going to be a success.

The waitress comes over and asks you what you and Samuel want, and since he helped you with your plan you figure you’ll treat him. Letting Samuel order whatever he wants.

After fifteen minutes of waiting you know your plan has worked, you and Sammy swindled a man out of fixing Sammy’s expensive hearing aids for free. Though what wasn’t part of your plan was having Professor Tepes approach you. 

“I’m not sure if you noticed but you date left,” Alucard says. He was there for dinner before you arrived and since you were sitting with someone he wasn’t going to say anything. But now that you got stood up he figures it’s safe to talk to you. 

“Exactly as planned,” you smirk and give Samuel a high five. 

“Oh?” Alucard is interested now, he motions to the chair across from you, “may I?”

“Of course!” You say with a smile, turning to Samuel and saying “this is one of my teachers.”

Alucard waves to Samuel, “hello, I’m Alucard.”

You think it’s sweet that Alucard introduces himself by first name to Sammy, though you will always refer to him as Professor Tepes. 

But Samuel becomes visibly nervous, scooting closer to you because to Sammy, Alucard is just scary looking with how tall he is.

“Sammy? What’s wrong?” You’re concerned because you’ve never seen Samuel act like this before. When you introduce him to people he’s never scared of them, he actually loves meeting new people and making friends. But most people you’ve introduced Sammy to aren’t giants.

Sammy just continues to hide behind you, thinking that if he can’t see Alucard, then Alucard can’t see him. 

“There is no reason to be scared of him.” You turn to Alucard, “I’m so sorry, he’s normally not like this.”

“It’s alright,” Alucard figures that his best bet is just to leave Samuel alone, he turns back to you and asks, “so, you're a mother?”

You quickly shake your head, “oh no, he’s just my little brother.”

“I’d never be able to tell,” Alucard says, looking between you and Samuel. The similarities between you and your baby brother are uncanny.

“We get that a lot,” you chuckle and let Sammy just hide next to you. If Sammy were to see Alucard more often you’d worry about trying to make him understand that Alucard isn’t going to hurt anyone.

The waitress that you had comes over and asks if you three wanted anything. You order dessert and look to Alucard, “would you like anything?”

“No thank you,” he says with a small shake of his head. When the waitress leaves Alucard looks around at the scenery, then back at you and Samuel. His curiosity gets the best of him and he finally asks “so why’d you bring him on a date with you?”

“Because the guy who left wouldn’t fix Sammy’s hearing aids unless I went on a date with him-” you say with a mischievous grin as you stroke Sammy’s hair, “-and thanks to your lesson, I came up with the plan to get them without him ever wanting to go on another date.”

Alucard chuckles, he would never suspect something like that out of you, “that was an amazing idea and he is the perfect actor.”

“You hear that Sammy? He said you did a good job.” You say in a reassuring voice, hoping that’ll make Sammy lighten up. 

Samuel might be nervous but he knows how to mind his manners so he mumbles, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome-” Alucard says softly and gets up “-I hope you two have a good night.”

“Likewise,” you say to Alucard and wave to him as he leaves. Then look at Sammy, “what’s the matter buddy?”

Samuel just shakes his head, “I don’t like him.”

You sigh, a bit saddened by hearing Samuel say that because you’re the kind of person where if your family doesn’t like someone you won’t give them a chance even as a friend. But you want to figure out why, so you ask, “how come?”

“He’s so tall!” Sammy exclaims.

You have to hold back a laugh because you don’t want Sammy to think you’re dismissing his feelings. But you couldn’t help but smile, “Sammy, just because someone is tall doesn’t mean that they’re bad… Have I ever told you the story of the Big Friendly Giant?”

“No-” Sammy says with a bit of confusion but gets a bit excited because it’s story time, “-but what is it about?!”

“Well,” you sit him in your lap and pull the story up on your phone, realizing it was 208 pages long. Then you go to read the summary and are reminded that it talks about giants that eat children, so you decide to make up your own summary, “it’s this story of a little girl who got lost and this tall giant- taller than the tallest building you can imagine- took care of her. He showed her what he did for fun, and when these evil trolls tried to hurt her he protected her!”

“Really?” Sammy asks.

You quickly nod, giving him reassurance, “yes really!”

“Woah!” Sammy says, sounding so impressed, “giants are so cool!”

“That they are-” you say with a big smile, “-now let’s get back to eating so we can have dessert!”

That’s exactly what you two do and your dessert comes out, it’s amazing, the most amazing thing you’ve ever tasted.

When you tried to pay the bill you were told that it was already covered, and that the gentleman that was sitting with you paid it. You know it’s Alucard who paid and you are absolutely shocked by it, also you’re confused of why as well.

Alucard did it because he assumed that since you're a college student you can’t afford the very expensive bill. He knows he shouldn’t have paid for it, but also felt like it’s the least he can do after scaring the living daylights out of your baby brother.

Though- you being the way you are- plan on discreetly paying Alucard back, you just have to figure out how.

On your way home you turn up the radio a bit so Sammy can hear it better, and the way he nods his head to the music warms your heart. You’re so happy that your baby brother can start experiencing life- almost- to the fullest once again.

When you pull up to the house you see that neither of your parent’s cars are there, which is good because you can just text Peter to come out and grab Sammy. You have Peter grab him just for precautionary measures, because if your parents do pull up then you won’t be in the house. Plus you also don’t want to let the rest of your family know that you used Samuel to your advantage. 

“It is 10:30 at night! Where have you been?!” Peter asks angrily, he hates having Sammy out this late because then he is super tired the next day.

“It took me a while to get them, aight?!” You hiss back at him, “and Sammy got hungry after.”

Peter looks at your attire and he realizes what happened, in shock he says “no you didn’t.”

“I did what I had to do!” You defend yourself and Peter gets Sammy out of your car, along with his booster seat.

“I’ll be back out in a minute,” Peter tells you then walks away with Sammy. He slams your car door behind him.

You feel shitty about what you’ve done already, you don’t need your younger brother reprimanding you like you're a child. But you wait for Peter to come back out and roll down your car window so you can talk to him, “look-“

“No!” Peter cuts you off, “there is nothing to fucking ‘look’ at! You used our little brother!”

“I already feel bad about it, but I did what I had to fucking do. Sammy’s hearing aids are fixed now and I won’t be bothered by the guy who fixed them!” 

Peter shakes his head in disappointment, “I can’t believe you’d do something like that. I’d expect something like that from our parents, but from you?!”

Peter regrets saying those words as soon as they leave his mouth and you know he doesn’t mean it. But in the heat of the moment you’re real quick to get out of your car and walk over to him. “I’ve done EVERYTHING for this family and what have they done?! You think I wanted to take him with me?! You REALLY think that I would do something like that unless I absolutely had to?! And why the FUCK do you think I had you come out here to grab Samuel?! It’s because I didn’t want the rest of the kids to know what I did! I don’t want them to EVER think it’s okay to use Sammy! So don’t you DARE ever compare me to them again! Got it?!”

Peter nods and looks down at the ground, he’s pissed off at himself and you can tell. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

You just grab him up in a hug, “I know, it’s alright. I forgive you.”

Peter hugs you back, so grateful that you have a big heart that is easy to forgive when it comes to your siblings. You’ve cut ties with plenty of people easily, but when it comes to your siblings you can always forgive the stupid shit they say when they’re angry at you. 

You both let go of the hug and you say, “okay, I need to go, I’ll Skype you all later.”

“Alright, drive safe.” Peter walks back into the house and you get in your car.

You grab your hoodie and a pair of sweatpants and put them on over your dress in order to cover up. Then you drive back to university, getting to your dorm and promptly going to the bathroom after grabbing your shower bag. You want to take a long shower since being on that date made you feel dirty. 

But the longer the shower the less time you have to study, so follow your usual nightly routine; getting a quick shower and washing off all the makeup you have on with your cosmetic soaps and face scrubs, and also brushing your teeth while you’re in the shower. When you get out you quickly dry off, put on your underwear, and brush your hair. After all that you put on your facial creams and lotion up, then get your pjs.

And you do all that without looking in the mirror, you absolutely hate seeing yourself in the mirror when you don’t have anything to cover up the scar on your face. All it does is remind you of your past and what you had to do in order to get a lot of money before you were able to be a stripper.

You leave the bathroom and sit on your bed, then pull out your laptop. When you go to work on assignments, you realize that you have everything done and the notes for what you’re learning next aren’t up yet. 

You should be relieved- even happy- that you are all caught up and have a few free days to relax, but all you have is feelings of pure anxiety. A few days of doing nothing when you could get ahead in your classes? You’re a busy body and you’ve been that way your entire life, especially after Steven passed away. Right now- because the date his birthday falls on- he’s currently ten years older than you, but it’s typically nine years older. You think at least… You were so young and time got diluted because of all the shit you were put through in your childhood. 

But as you’ve got older you had to learn how to manage your time because if you didn’t your family would be put in danger. 

You shake your head to get those thoughts out of your mind. Your family is fine, they’re safe now because you clawed yourself out of that hole, carrying them all on your back. They will never know how hard you fought for them and how you’re still fighting tooth and nail for them to have a better life. 

Nor do you want them to know your pain, you don’t want them to know how much weight you have on your shoulders because you don’t want them to try to take on any of those problems. You know your siblings and you know they’ll try to help with making things better, but this isn’t their fight. You refuse to let them make it their fight.

So you suffer in silence, silence is so deafening, it’s eerie and ominous. Silence has done nothing but cause you anxiety, so you plug your headphones in and listen to whatever it is that’s going to help you sleep tonight.

[daydreamerdrew]

Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

The Avengers (1963) #45-50 and Annual #1

These issues were published across July 1967 to January 1968, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Roy Thomas. The Annual and issue #45 were penciled by Don Heck, and they were inked by George Bell and Vince Colletta, respectively. Issues #46-47 were penciled by John Buscema, and they were inked by Vince Colletta and George Tuska, respectively; and issues #49-50 were drawn by John Buscema. Issue #48 was drawn by George Tuska. All were 20 pages, except for the Annual, which had a 49-page long story and an additional 5 pages of pin-ups and a diagram of the Manor.

In the Annual Clint says, of Nick Fury, “Anybody who’s gettin’ Natasha a special medal is an okay Joe in my book!”

Hank says, after a villain mentions hurting Jan earlier, as an explanation as to why he’s attacking him, “Jan may be nutty- but I’m kind’a fond of her!”

Pietro complains to Steve about having to be part of the team that stayed back at the mansion while everyone else left on missions, “I ache for the call to action… the summons to combat!” And Steve tells him, “They also serve who stand and wait, Pietro!”

And the Mandarin’s “huge synthetic diamond” that “When fueled by thousands of true gems, it will blanket the Earth in irresistible hate-rays! Each man will fight to the death any who are near him,” which makes the Avengers fight each other, reminded me of the villain Hate-Monger from Fantastic Four (1961) #21, published in September 1963.

In issue #45 a reporter asks Clint, “Is there any truth to the rumors that you and Captain America used to be feuding?” Clint responds, “Sonny, it sounds like you’ve got a longer memory than I have!”

In the hospital Natasha had told Clint, “I hope you won’t mind, my darling.. But, I wish to give up my identity as the Black Widow!” He responded, “Mind? Not me, lady! The only identity I want you to have is.. my wife!” And she told him, “Perhaps I shall.. soon!” This reminded me of her modern portrayal of memory and role issues. In Black Widow: Deadly Origin (2010) #2 it’s complained “she’s still trying to work it all out, trying to explain all the things she is… casting off the peaceful retirement I tried to give her, not willing to vanish into being a normal person” because she had argued, despite not remembering her training as a spy, “For some reason I feel I have skills I can offer- women I can be!” Also, it’s surprising to me that Clint wouldn’t want Natasha to be the Black Widow considering how vehement he was earlier in this book that she be made an official Avenger.

In one scene Janet poses, showing off her new costume, while photographers take pictures, one of whom says, “You’ve got the greatest power of all- the power to completely mesmerize every male within miles!” Then Hank shows up, in Goliath form, and picks her up with both giant hands around her waist, saying, “And, that’s enough posing for today, little lady!” Janet complains out loud, but internally is pleased with making Hank jealous. But I don’t like the way he’s treating her.

Steve thinks as he arrives at the Avengers Day event, “How ironic.. when I’ve been seriously wondering if I shouldn’t give up my life as Captain America,” referring to what’s going on in his solo stories in Tales of Suspense (1959). He ends the issue thinking very positively of the Avengers with, “The Avengers are as strong as they ever were… and ready to take on anything!”

I am interested in what’s going on with Pietro’s anti-human sentiments. Pietro complains to Wanda, when she fusses over her appearance for the Avengers Day celebration, “But, you go to far more trouble than mere Homo Sapiens deserve! ‘Tis they… with their constant mistrust and fear of everything associated with the word mutant… who would try to please us!” Then he clarifies to Wanda, “I spoke not of [the Avengers], but of the herd… of the nameless, faceless masses who were once our enemies!” At the end of the issue he says, of the android they fought, “Yes, he is to be pitied almost as much as feared! For, it was humans who created him… who planned to use him as a merciless engine of destruction!” I’ll note that it was Pietro who came up with the plan for defeating the Super-Adaptoid. Steve says, “He was created by evil humans, Pietro.. men who would have used him to bring both Homo Sapiens and mutants under their domination… Remember that!” And Wanda thinks, “Steve senses.. as do I… a strange bitterness in Pietro’s voice! I wonder.. what ill this may bode for the future!”

In issue #46 Clint points out that Steve has been distant and Steve says that he’s fine. Wanda thinks, “For days now, Steve Rogers has spent most of his time alone.. in brooding silence! Something is deeply disturbing him… something he dares to tell even us!” And Steve thinks, “What I need is out of reach… unattainable! I’m in love… with a beautiful, mysterious blonde who’s actually an agent of Shield… a girl I know only as.. Agent Thirteen! But, have I the right to tell her.. while I still wear the mask of Captain America?” Later he thinks, while Hank is showing Janet an ant colony and he’s sitting off to the side, “I’m about as in-demand here as a square wheel! Maybe it is time that I quit the Avengers… and sought a new life as Steve Rogers!”

Natasha leaves the hospital in this issue, and she affirms her decision to quit being the Black Widow, saying, “The mission for Shield was my last! The Black Widow is gone.. forever! Now I am only Natasha.. a girl with a past.. and, I hope, a future!”

And Pietro says, “Say, Cap.. why don’t the two of us go see one of your baseball games?” And Steve says, “Fine.. as soon as I finish this chapter of Tolkien! I always was a sucker for far-out fantasy!”

There’s also a scene where a bystander says, after seeing Pietro fly past, “I don’t trust that silver-haired creep.. or any mutant!” Another responds, “Neither do I! The rest of the Avengers are all human… But Quicksilver’s a mutant… like that nutty sister of his! I don’t trust either of them!” This is a far cry from the public celebration with fans in the previous issue. Pietro above thinks, “So, even while I save their Homo Sapiens lives, their hearts are still full of mistrust and fear! It is as if have always thought… yet not dared to admit! No mutant will ever be accepted by the accursed humans! The time draws near when I will bear their insults and suspicions no longer… but will lash back!” Later, when he finds out that Steve and Hank didn’t manage to prevent Whirlwind from escaping, he complains of how Whirlwind will brag about besting him, “This is the price I pay for relying upon humans… instead of striking back myself with the full power of Homo Superior!” Steve interjects, and Pietro apologizes right after.

In issue #47 Steve tells the Avengers that he’s quitting both the team and being Captain America. He explains, “Because it’s time that Captain America died- so that Steve Rogers can finally live again! Isn’t that reason enough?” And Steve yells when Clint disagrees, then thinks while he walks away, “I’m not too proud of myself for that little act! Pretending to be angry- so I could leave without feeling their pity! Yet, in doing so, perhaps I’ve only earned… their scorn! Well, there’s no turning back now! I only hope I don’t regret my action later!”

Clint yells at Natasha because he’s upset about Steve quitting the team, then leaves without apologizing or saying anything, thinking, “It’s not her fault! Me and my blasted temper! Just when I thought I was finally learnin’ to control it-! Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now! I’d better just split- til I can simmer down enough to apologize!” This makes Natasha think, “Now that I’m no longer a super-heroine- the Avengers are a part of his life I can’t share! I wonder… does he really love a girl named Natasha… or only the Black Widow?”

Magneto returns in this issue, and he tries to get Pietro and Wanda to rejoin the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. When they say they are Avengers now, he says, “So- during my absence, you have betrayed the cause of Homo Superior- by joining a band of infernal Homo Sapiens!” Pietro explains, “I bear no love for the humans- but I shall never betray my oath as an Avenger!”

In issue #48 Clint thinks, “I just keep wanderin’ around, tryin’ to figure out what made Cap suddenly quit the Avengers! Sure, I guess that Joe’s got as much right to a private life as the rest of us! But somehow, we all took for granted that being an Avenger was his life- period!” And he wonders, “Can we make it without Cap- the greatest leader a fighting team ever had?” This happens while Clint is jumping over rooftops and passersby below call out for an autograph, which he ignores.

Later Clint gets annoyed when Hank tells him to do something, saying, “I don’t seem to recall Cap leavin’ you in charge when he quit us, Man-Mountain!” This seems a bit in bad faith since Steve specifically cited the fact that Hank, an original Avenger, had returned as him having completed his agreement to hold the Avengers together after Hank, Tony, and Thor left.

At one point the narration says, “even as these grim words fall from the unlikely lips of the oft-frivolous Wasp,” which seems rude, and unfair, since she’s taken the Avengers’ supervillain conflicts seriously since she rejoined the book. And particularly considering that she had notable scenes of saving Hank in the previous two issues. Later, in issue #50, she does say, while the Avengers are on their way to a mission, “Maybe I’m selfish, but I don’t care what happens to the Avengers! If Hank’s powers don’t return, maybe we’ll both resign- and get married!” But then, when the mission becomes serious, she’s as dedicated as she was before.

In issue #49, with Hercules off doing his own thing and Pietro and Wanda captured, Clint complains, “The fact that Cap quit on us! With him gone, maybe there ain’t any more ‘Avengers’- just three worn-out has beens, runnin’ around in nutty costumes!” He’s referring to himself, Hank, and Janet.

Pietro whispers to Wanda, “Despair fills your heart- that I do not lash out once more against Magneto! Yet, we must learn all we can of his newest scheme- so that we may forward the X-Men… and the Avengers!”

When Magneto pitches one again that they rejoin his Brotherhood (he’s been really committed to getting them back), Wanda says, “Don’t listen to him, my brother! I know well of your bitterness towards the Homo Sapiens- but, remember our oaths as Avengers!” And Pietro responds, “That I can never forget, Wanda! And yet… neither can I forget the scorn with which the humans regard any who are different from themselves!”

Magneto plots to convince Pietro and Wanda that he no longer wants to rule all humans, and instead wants mutants to live in peace separately from humans. He brings them with him to the U.N. Building, where he makes his pitch, certain the general assembly will reject his idea for them to give him a nation, with its implication for force if they refuse him, which they do. Of this process he thinks, “It revolts me to act- even for a moment- as if there could ever be equality between mutants and their accursed inferiors! But, it is only for a moment- and then Wanda and Pietro will be mine once more!”

In the subsequent fight Magneto uses his magnetic powers to make a security guard fire his gun, and he directs the bullet so that it grazes Wanda’s head. Pietro is enraged, crying out, “She still lives- still breathes! But, it was humans who did this to her-! Humans!” And he attacks Hank when he approaches, declaring, “Let no Homo Sapiens approach me- or my beloved sister- or they shall feel the shattering power of Homo Superior!” And when Janet tries to reason with him, he says, “I’m thru listening- listening to nothing but abuse from those I once swore to protect- because I’m a mutant! And now, my sister may be dying- brought down by the bullet of a human- because I didn’t listen to Magneto!”

At the end of issue #49 Clint was thinking about the current sorry state of the Avengers and the fact that everyone would now know that Steve quit the team and what that would mean. Issue #50 opens with Hank and Clint having an argument, and then Clint thinks, “What’s really buggin’ me is that my girl Natasha took off on a vacation.. without even tellin’ me! But, maybe I don’t deserve anymore! I’m not exactly Mr. Prize Catch of 1968!” I think this is a cheap way to write Natasha out of the book after she’s been a part of it for a while and had significant plots. It’s also a bit confusing since she’d previously said she was open to getting married to Clint. Her last appearance was in issue #47, when Clint let out some anger by yelling at her, then left without apologizing, so maybe he’s assuming she ran off because of that. That said, I think it reflects badly on Clint that he’s not considering that rather than a vacation, she’s on a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D. since she previously broken up with him and tricked him into thinking she’d betrayed the U.S. on their orders for a mission for them.

Also in issue #50 Clint says, when Hank once again tells him what to do, “And I useta think Cap laid it on thick with the mother hen bit!”

the Captain America story in Marvel Fanfare (1982) #5

This 15-page story was published in August 1982, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Roger McKenzie, penciled by Luke McDonnell, and inked by John Beatty.

This story begins “more than thirty-five years” ago with Steve and Bucky fighting in WWII. Expecting that the duo would finally be killed, a German soldier filmed the fight for Hitler to watch later. But instead they prevailed, and Bucky picked up the camera to film Steve’s triumph. Then, in the modern day, the son of the German attempt at a super-soldier that Steve defeated plots his revenge against Captain America.

Steve is visiting a newly completed museum, set to be the special guest for their opening tomorrow. He’s asked for his “approval of our Captain America exhibit before it goes on display.” Before being shown he says, “Frankly, I’m a little leery about this exhibit. I’m afraid it may be viewed as a glorification of warfare- but since the proceeds are going to charity I guess the end justifies the means.”

Shockingly, the exhibit features a statue of Steve attacking Bucky, which horrifies him. He’s then attacked himself and captured. Later, Steve is slapped awake by someone dressed as Bucky, saying, “Cap? Cap! Can you hear me, partner? Wake up… Time for you to die!” The leader of the villains, the man who wants revenge, is wearing Steve’s costume and has his shield and wants to film Steve’s defeat similar to how his father’s went.

Steve defeating everyone but the leader happens off-panel, and then the leader is killed by accident. I was disappointed that there wasn’t anything made of Steve having to fight someone dressed as Bucky, nor did Steve reflect on Bucky at all during his closing narration.

Captain America (1998) Annual #1

This 39-page issue was published in September 2001, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Dan Jurgens. Eight pages were penciled by Lee Moder and inked by Walden Wong, 12 pages were penciled by Darryl Banks and inked by Sandu Florea, 9 pages were penciled by Ignacio Calero and inked by Marco Galli, and 10 pages were penciled by Joe Weems and inked by Pierre-André Déry. Ignacio Calero and Marco Galli had a really unique, interesting art style.

When Toro questions how effective Steve would be as a fighter underwater, Bucky says, “Watch and learn, Toro! If there’s one man alive who can succeed at whatever he wants- it’s Captain America!” And later, when Toro wonders if Steve drowned because of how long he’s been underwater, Bucky says, “Cap’s gonna be fine! And don’t you doubt it!”

There was some criticism of the Soviet Union in this story. A Russian spy captured alongside Steve tells him, “Unfortunately, my government tends to forget its apprehended spies.” And Steve tells her, “That’s one thing you’ll never see America do. We fight to the bitter end- and beyond. Hitler’s vision for the future is the blackest one imaginable. He wants to decide who lives and dies. Who’s worthy and who isn’t. I’ve dedicated my life to making sure that vision doesn’t come to pass. Care to join me? Maybe your government betrays its people, but we don’t. Come to the States with me and I’ll prove it.” And later, “We believe in life and the freedom to pursue it to the fullest. And we honor those who protect our beliefs. Come back with us. Let me show you that America never forgets.”

In the present day part of this story, Steve learns about a plan by the U.S. government during WWII to deny his death if the Nazis successfully killed him by putting another man in his costume and showing that man off. This “slightly” upsets Steve, and he explains, “You devote yourself to the cause- do whatever you can to help- give it everything you’ve got- and then someone stabs you in the back. I guess… I should have known better. This business comes with no guarantees.” However, President Roosevelt, who in the Marvel Universe knew Steve, didn’t support this, so it wouldn’t actually have happened during WWII that “this country would have denied your death rather than honor you.”

(Captain America was published in comic books after 1945, when he was established in 1964 to have been frozen in ice. I know that later those late 40s/early 50s appearances were retconned to actually have been successors to his name to cover up that he died, but I’m not sure of the in-universe timeline of how soon that happened after Steve’s believed death. I guess we can assume that at the very least it happened after Roosevelt’s presidency.)

At the end of the story, Steve makes a request to the current President on behalf of an elderly Karinna, who lives in Idaho: “She never served in the U.S. military but she contributed a great deal to the war effort. She received no credit, no medical coverage… nothing. But this country owes her something. Recognition. A thank you, at the very least.” Even though I can understand why it happened, I do think it’s messed up that Karinna had to make a new life for herself in a foreign country without any support after she was tortured as a prisoner of war and her husband was killed.

Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandoes (1963) #37

This issue was published in October 1966, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Roy Thomas, penciled by Dick Ayers, and inked by John Tartaglione. It was 20 pages.

Eric thinks, “It’s an honor to become a full-fledged Commando at last! But, I must always measure up the standard set by the one whom I replaced… Dino Manelli!”

Nick says, of Dum Dum, “I wouldn’t say it to his ugly pan, but that ‘ol goat yer playmates grabbed is as good a friend as I got in the world!” Later Reb abandons their main mission to try to rescue the Howlers, rather than leave with their prisoner, saying, “Them doggies are worth a hundred o’ you in mah book… an’ I ain’t about to let ‘em daown!”

A woman, while Reb and Nick are present, refers to Reb as “[t]he young American.” And Dum Dum says, “[W]addaya mean, the young American? I ain’t all that old!”

Izzy says to Eric, explaining the rules of a horseback duel, “First they gotta ride past each other, with their guns raised in salute! Then, they turn an’ charge fer keeps! Didn’t ya ever see Dino Manelli do it in the movies?”

And Nick thinks, of the woman they meet in this issue, “Quite a gal, that Sheila! I haven’t met a female that brave since… Pamela Hawley! But, what’s the difference? The way this blasted war’s goin’, we’ll never meet again.. Or will we?”

The Incredible Hulk (1968) Annual #11 and Marvel Two-in-One (1974) Annual #7 and the Hulk stories in Marvel Team-Up (1972) #126 and in Blip (1983) #7

The Incredible Hulk (1968) Annual #11 was published in June 1982, according to the Marvel Wiki. It contained a 32-page Hulk story written by Bill Mantlo, penciled by Rich Buckler, and inked by Joe Sinnott. And it had a pin-up and 5-page back-up story starring Doc Samson that was written by Mary Jo Duffy, penciled by Frank Miller, and inked by Steve Mitchell. There’s a note saying it was created “several years ago” and was Frank Miller’s “very first pencil job for Marvel.”

I was really happy that this Hulk story took place before Bruce took over the Hulk’s body because I’ve missed him.

In the Doc Samson story he’s attending a conference lecture titled “The Alienated Mutant in Our Society” that has a criminal mutant in chains on display. Of course the mutant escapes and Samson has to fight him and capture him again, but I thought that he was being exhibited to psychologists was messed up.

Marvel Two-in-One (1974) Annual #7 was published in June 1982, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Tom DeFalco, penciled by Ron Wilson, and inked by Bob Camp, Mike Esposito, Frank Giacoia, Dan Green, Armando Gill, and Chic Stone. It was 39 pages.

The 10-page Hulk story in Marvel Team-Up (1972) #126 was published in November 1982, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Bill Shooter and drawn by Tomoyuki Takenaka. According to a note, “Sometime ago, a version of this story was printed in a special newspaper Sunday supplement.” This was a team-up with Spider-Man.

Fortunately for me, this was another story that portrayed the Hulk with his classic personality. I liked the art and the writing of this story. It’s one of a handful of times Bruce has been portrayed as suicidal so far, and then there’s a parallel moment where the Hulk recognizes those feelings in someone else.

Blip (1983) was a video game magazine. Issue #7 had a cover date of August 1983. The 9-page Hulk story in it was written by Dan Koeppel and drawn by Al Milgrom.

Yet another classic Hulk personality story. This was an advertisement, with the Hulk’s rampage through a city stopped by having him play the then-new Hulk video game, so that he could work out his desire to smash there, instead.

the Captain America story in Avengers Classic (2007) #5

This 9-page story was published in October 2007, according to the Marvel Wiki. It was written by Macon Blair and drawn by Jorge Lucas.

This story showed a brief encounter during WWII between Cap and Bucky and some regular soldiers with Thor and Fenris, a giant wolf that Loki set free on Earth. Thor swoops in like a god, saving them from the wolf when they can’t do anything about it. This comes across remarkably differently from Steve and Bucky’s experiences with the Invaders. While in stories with them they can fight in fantastical ways against fantastical enemies, here they all were as helpless as real people would be with the weaponry they had against a magical monster. And also the snowy environment they had to dredge through and the gruesome injuries of the soldiers had a grounding effect on the scene.

When the one regular soldier who’s seen the wolf says they have to run, he’s scolded by Steve, “Is that what you learned at Currahee?” And is sternly told, “Now take a breath. Do your duty. And show me where you can from.” I’ve only ever seen Steve interacting with American soldiers by acting the encouraging, propaganda figure, so it was really interesting to see this other side where he was a harsher commanding officer. Also, that one soldier, covered in blood, was denigrated by other American soldiers as a “nutjob and chicken.”

[episbep]

rehab day sixteen

quick update cos my sleeping med are sleeping med-ing (recovery memes cos I took 0 pics today)

(I saved this as a draft 2hrs ago to go find something to reblog between this and my last update but instead booked a tattoo, applied for loans and credit cards to fund secondary treatment (all were rejected) so got back in touch with my old dealer (he’s been released) and found a new ket dealer not too far away from mine😵‍💫🙃 definitely not great choices but I’m sure it’ll be fiiiiine as long as I’m not a dumb ass about it and stick to meetings find a sponsor all that fun stuff)

Three rly big personalities left treatment today (one’s my house sister😭) so it’s gonna feel empty and quiet without them. There’s a rly aggressive/overly sexual man in our group that’s making everyone uncomfortable and has been moved to an all lads house but it’s thrown off the normal calm happy goofy vibe that we had going on in the centre. Me and my crush are still going strong but got an implied telling off from one of the counsellors today about us having an SR (special or sexual relationship) but it’s not even sexual…yet, just lots of flirting.

I’m most definitely abusing my sleeping pills by forcing myself to stay awake and getting a fuzzy spinny head which is almost close to a high - I’ve had three these past two days, only takes one to conk me out entirely. I feel like I’m heading towards a relapse but I also feel like I know how to get back on track with recovery if I do end up there and it won’t be the end of the world as long as I don’t give up recovery entirely or get back into the ‘all day every day’ habit.

Group therapy was bitchy - just all talking about this aggressive guy and one of the girls shared that she’s got beef with someone in the room for talking behind her back but wouldn’t say who or why!!!! so annoying gimme the gossip it’s starting to get boring haha. One of the best people packed their bags and left this morning but was back by the afternoon - I was genuinely chuffed to see him, proud of him for coming back🥰

we weren’t actually in treatment for too long today, we had our “fun” activity which turned out to be mini golf and it was such a laugh. I got a hole in one!!! But still lost overall😄 it’s all about the experience tho right? had iced coffee then went back to the houses (no meeting tonight cos almost everyone wanted to watch the football)

One housemate helped me dye my roots (well overdue) and another cooked us a Pakistani recipe for dinner that he makes for him and his wife back home - it was fucking spicy but rly delicious! Feeling very grateful for this messy bunch, sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re all addicts/alocoholics/both and we’re in here cos our lives were out of control when for the most part there are no issues and we have a good time together. Insane really how different people are when they’re clean.