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thejokersenigma · 7 years

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Joker x Reader - Deadly Voice Part 50

Hi guys,

Sorry about the long delay on getting this part but it is nearly 3x the length of most of the others (over 8500 words). But this Is also the last part.

I REPEAT. THIS IS THE LAST PART OF DEADLY VOICE

Yep. This is it. I thought 50 was a good time to stop, so I've tried to wrap everything up in this chapter. It's probably a shit ending (I had no idea how to end it) and I apologise if there are still questions unanswered (I probably forgot I asked the question in the first place because I've lost track of this fanfiction a bit!)

But I hope all in all its ok!

Also there a quite a few bits where the Joker is out of character, but honestly I'm living off 2 hours of sleep at the moment and I just want to post this I'm not going to bother to sit here for another few hours trying to fix it - sorry! :S

I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU that have stuck with me throughout this story! I would not have got past the first part if it wasn't for your constant encouragement to keep me going! You guys have been brilliant and I LOVE YOU ALL!

THANK YOU!

(as usual if you have any comments pls tell me! I love comments!)

(also if you have any requests for writing of any fandom let me know and I will see what I can do!)

(I will be continuing on with my other series now, so feel free to check them out! Shameless advertising I know! (Okay I have a bit of shame))

THANK YOU AGAIN! ENJOY! (I hope)

MASTERLIST

I woke up early the next morning when I tried to roll over and felt a firm solid restraint around my torso. I frowned in through the dark, my mind still half asleep. I felt for the restraint, finding myself gripping at a muscular arm that wound around me.

Suddenly I felt the arm tense and I found myself being pulled backwards so that I pressed against a solid object behind me, bare skin to bare skin.

“Where do ya’ think you’re going, doll?” Came the sleepy growl behind me, warm air winding its way into my mass bed-head hair.

Awareness of my situation hit me at once, my whole body turning rigid. I was in bed – naked – with the Joker. I had slept with him last night. I couldn’t believe it. How had I lost that much control?

Last night rushed back to me, the warehouse, the Joker beaten black and blue, the men dead on the floor thanks to me, Penguin’s numerous confessions. The whole night had been one emotion after the other, all the adrenaline, worry and panic, all accumulating to a point where I done something I told myself many times never to do. Give into my feelings for the Joker.

Though surely, I could put some of the blame on J? I had never instigated any of what transpired last night. I had simply just never refused. J had made the most of my lack of control last not, not that complained, even now I knew there wasn’t a point last night where I had wanted any part of it to stop. I had wanted everything that happened last night. And I still did.

I felt my cheeks warm at this thought, all too aware of how close he was too me and the moment, and glad I wasn’t facing him because I was sure my face would give me away.

It was true I hadn’t really been myself last night, too wrapped up in the moment, but now my every nerve was on edge. Why was he still here? I had kind of been counting on him not being here in the morning – like usual – so I could have some time to gather myself together and figure out what to do now.

So much for that.

“Relax, kitten…” The Joker purred in my ear, his hands running down my body, clearly sensing each fibre tense under his touch. It wasn’t that his touch revolted me – he knew from last night that wasn’t true – but I was frightened of what happened now. Had he finally got what he wanted from me? Would he just throw me away now? Or worse, would he silence me completely?

His arms continued to stroke along my body, but, when I wasn’t able to do as he commanded, I felt him grab me, pulling me towards him so I now lay on my back. I was acutely aware of how exposed I now felt, and I self-consciously pulled the blankets higher up my chest.

J watched my movements almost with amusement at how uncomfortable I was in our situation. I could feel the heat in my cheeks burning hotter now and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, instead choosing to stare directly up at the ceiling.

Suddenly there was were strong, callused fingers gripping my chin, turning my head so I forced to look directly at him. I still tried to keep my eyes low, but a soft growl made me look, finally meeting his gaze.

His eyes were the icy cold she knew well even in the dark, but the rest of his face, though mostly hidden by the night, kept the scars of last night. The cuts and bruises coloured his face in different shades of black through the darkness, though none of them seemed to mar the beauty of his sculptured face. A face she could stare at all day if it wasn’t so intimidating.

The blanket only came as high as halfway up his stomach and she could make out the inked artwork that painted his shoulders, chest and arms, clear as day even in the dark compared to his pale skin.

“Why so tense, doll?” He questioned slyly, “Sore?” His eyes shamelessly held mine, a wicked glint to them. He finally released my chin and I broke out gaze momentarily, the intensity in his eyes too much to maintain on my own. I swallowed dryly, but I couldn’t answer him. He probably thought I was just embarrassed and awkward about what had happened – and I was, especially now that I was being forced to face him - but that wasn’t the whole story. Yet I couldn’t explain to him how I was panicking that I may just have gone and signed my death sentence by sleeping with him.

It hurt enough to think that he might just ditch me now, that he had got what he had wanted and would finally decide to leave me alone. I had wanted that for so long, but now the idea of never seeing the familiar grinning pale face made me cold. But that was what I could see happening – him now kicking me out of his house and for now on, me only see him in stories in the news of him wreaking havoc over Gotham.

However, an even more worrying conclusion to all this, was for him to get rid of me in a more permanent way via a bullet through my head. After all, why leave me alive? That wasn’t how J worked.

“You look like you’re thinking too hard, kitten.” J purred down at me from where he was propped on up his elbow, his free hand tracing along my collar bone and making me shiver from the light, ticklish sensation. His voice held a note of warning to it though, as if he was angry I had the gall to concentrate on anything but him in that moment. I lifted my eyes to his face again, his gaze was still on mine, but it seemed as though his face was closer now, though I didn’t remember seeing him move. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine and I could feel the worries that were plaguing my head already retreating to the recesses of my mind out of reach. I tried to not react to his touch but I couldn’t help it, soon shifting so I now faced him and moulding my own mouth to his. He teased me, never quite letting our bodies touch at any point but our lips and I was using every inch of my willpower not to move, to worm myself closer to him, instead I focused all my attention on remaining motionless apart from my mouth.

J broke the kiss, “So restrained, princess…” He growled playfully, against my lips, but his voice was deep and gravelly from lust and I could tell he was holding himself back almost as much as I was, refusing to lose the game I didn’t know we’d been playing. “But I wonder why, hmm?” He asked, his lips trailing to my jaw.

Now I wasn’t staring directly into his eyes, I felt slightly braver and I pulled my worries back to the forefront of my mind.

“Because I’m waiting for you to get rid of me.”

“Hmm…” He hummed lightly, not moving from where his teeth nibbled at my jaw line, “Seems like a poor way to thank you for your aid last night, doesn’t it doll?” He asked innocently against the underside of my jaw, his lips on the sensitive skin making it hard for me to breathe subconsciously. It still amazed me how lightly he could talk about murdering – especially to the person in question.

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” I muttered, trying to sound annoyed at his lackadaisical attitude, but I couldn’t help my voice wobbling thanks to the attention he was now paying to the tender area of my throat. I had a feeling he was trying to distract me.

He chuckled against my skin at my remark, the laugh reverberating through his body and into mine, sending impure feelings through me again. I shifted restlessly beside him, still fighting the need I had for more contact with him as his lips promised pleasured with kisses at my collarbone and sin with light nips at my shoulder. I felt him grin against my skin at my writhing, knowing he was winning.

“J-“ I practically moaned and suddenly his lips were on mine again, swallowing any sound I made. He kissed me passionately, only breaking it when I was sure I would pass out from lack of oxygen. “So you don't want to get rid of me?” I asked drunken and breathless, giddy from his lips.

“Not today.” He admitted with a devilish grin, barely giving me time to register how little this comforted me, before he pulled me on top of him and I was lost in the moment once more.

"Why are you still here?” [Y/N] had asked out of the blue later as they had laid once more in bed. “You're never here when I wake up.” She added.

She was curled up, once more, on her side, her body fitting perfectly up against his own. There was a dim light in the room from the early morning sun and J ran his hand up her side, enjoying watching as she shivered under his touch. He let his hand sweep over to her stomach, feeling her muscles tense under his touch.

He was glad she’d stop talking about leaving, it annoyed him that all she wouldn’t just live in the moment like he did. That was the problem with most sane people, they never appreciated things, they were always looking for the next thing to worry about.

“Thought I deserved a line in.” He answered simply - he wasn’t about to tell her the real reason; that the chaos died down in his mind when he was with her, that it was so peaceful for once, that he could truly sleep properly when she was around.

He’d never tell her that.

And he’d never tell her that he slept so well last night he’d managed to sleep past his usual early morning rising, waking up along with her instead, for the first time.

She seemed content with his answer anyway so J didn’t need to elaborate his lie, both of them falling back into a comfortable silence as his tattooed hand trace her small, delicate figure.

“What happened to the Penguin?” She suddenly asked, practically jumping at her own voice. He let out a deep sigh – she was more talkative now she had finally somewhat relaxed - though he could still sense something tense within her.

“Nothing.” He said gruffly. He didn’t want to talk about the puffed-up Penguin with her. He still hated the man for ever laying eyes on the girl curled up against him, hated the idea of her working for him all those months, of him even breathing the same air as her. J hated Penguin more for what he did to his doll, then he did for Penguin tying him up and nearly finally putting an end to him last night.

Of course, he’d never tell her that.

“Nothing?” [Y/N] repeated, shifting to look over her shoulder at him. He held her gaze in silence for a moment, they were warm and soft, like they had melted in the heat that had been between them only a few moments ago. He knew she would begin to squirm soon under his gaze, but she was holding strong so far. Eventually he stopped toying with her, shifting his own gaze down to watch where he walked his fingers along her arm, watching the goosebumps erupt beneath his fingertips.

“Frosty seemed to think…” J drawled in a tone that said he was less than impressed, “it was better for me to let him go…” He had spoken to Johnny in the early hours of the morning when he had slipped away from [Y/N] briefly before she had awoken earlier. Frost had done his usual magic trick of cleaning up after J, promising no trace of his whereabouts apart from a disgruntled Penguin who hadn’t appreciated being stuffed in a storage cupboard for several hours.

“What?” [Y/N} asked, shocked, shifting herself around so now she fully faced him again. He couldn’t help watching every inch of her body as she moved, he already wanted her again. “Why?” She demanded, oblivious to the sinful thoughts going through J’s head as he stared at her. She sounded almost as angry as J had been when Frost had originally suggested releasing the Penguin.

“Leverage, doll.” J explained, as though it were obvious “The bird owes me now.” He said with an evil smirk.

He watched her as she thought this through, her face contorting into a frown, then lightening as she came to terms with the result, though he could still see that darkness behind her eyes – like she wished something more had happened to the plump aristocrat. J grinned across at her, letting her know he had seen that flicker of resentment.

She blushed at this, sensing she’d been caught and dropped her eyes, though this just made her stare at his chest. She seemed to realise this and blush even harder if possible.

J laughed at her embarrassment and [Y/N]’s eyes automatically tracked to where his abs contracted under the force of his mirth, making the tattoo grin on his lower stomach to writher. When her eyes returned to his he saw the now-familiar heat in her eyes, the look that bewitched him somewhat, calmed his mind, yet enticed a similar flare in the pit of his own stomach.

When [Y/N] looked at him, she saw two blue pits of lust and sin looking back at her.

When I woke up again, the room was full of midday light and the bed across from me was empty. I had to wonder if last night had truly happened, or if I just dreamt. I soon dispelled any thought of imagining last, however, when I shifted slightly on the mattress and I felt many of my muscles complain from the movement.

J was right. I was sore.

I soon sat up none the less, only cringing slightly when I pushed myself to my feet. I grabbed for my makeshift pyjamas of J’s shirt and sweatpants which lay in a pile on the floor from where they had been thrown off the bed the night before, pulling them before I traipsed to the bathroom to examine myself.

I knew I must look a state after everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, but I wasn’t ready for what I saw in the mirror. My hair was a state, frizzy and messy, sticking out in odd places, the traces of the small amount of makeup I applied last night were smudged across parts of my face and my lips were still slightly swollen from the night of passion. I splashed water on my face, scrubbing my skin clear of the night before, and dragged a comb through my hair. It was only then that I saw them: blossoming smudges of green, yellow and blue curling around my neck. I pulled the collar of the shirt away examining the shadows of where J’s fingers had wrapped passionately around my throat. I pulled the shirt down further, catching glimpses of a few love bites around my collarbone. I admired the marks, but soon I couldn’t help but look at them with a sadder smile, would these be the only things I had left to remind me of J? I started to wish that they scarred.

“Afternoon, doll.” I jumped, releasing the shirt and snapping my gaze to the background of the mirror where J behind me. I quickly spun around to face him lounging in the bathroom doorway in a pair of his usual smart black trousers with a dark purple shirt that hung open to reveal his chest and the familiar golden chains around his neck. His hair was combed neatly back as always, the only difference to his usual appearance were the remints of last night’s attack on his body which I could clearly see now in the daylight: the cuts on his cheeks and chin, the bruises that added some colour to his otherwise pale complexion.

“Always so jumpy, doll.” He tutted, as though this was a common flaw of mine. His eyes then took in my clothes and he pushed himself off the door frame, standing up straighter as his eyes flared, the ice blue seeming to melt and burn. He stepped towards me carefully, stalking, prowling, “You know, princess…” He drawled seductively, his eyes falling on where the shirt lay open on my chest, barely above my cleavage, “Every time you wore those, you teased me…” He growled lowly, his eyes dangerous, “Always looking like you’d just rolled out of my bed after a night of sin and sex…” He was slowly, teasingly stepping closer and I could feel my heart in my throat. “And yet, I never got to touch you…” He murmured quietly as though talking to himself. “Until now…” He purred, closing the gap between us in one step, his hands grabbing my hips and pulling me up against him as his lip immediately found mine.

I melted instantly against his now-familiar body shape, easily falling into a blissful carelessness and soon as he touched me. His hands soon moved from my hips, working their way under my shirt, and fanning over my stomach. His hands should have chilled me, but everything he was doing to me was just making me burn even hotter.

I had to stop it before I got lost again.

I pulled back from his lips, “Wait, J.” I said, quietly, already gasping for air. His hands slid out from the shirt as I stepped back, his eyes darkening and his jaw clenching.

“Doll?” He asked tensely, I knew how much he hated to be denied what he wanted.

I swallowed thickly, I had to stand strong and not let him intimidate me. I needed to know before I did anything more, I couldn’t keep putting it off in the hopes of never having to confront it. “We need to talk.” I started, dropping my gaze, unable to look at him when I was trying to hold myself together. “I need to know what happens next.” I told him warily. “After today.”

“Why?” He said, quietly, almost coldly. The question took me surprise and I glance up angrily.

“Why?!” I demanded back at him, “Because I need to know if this is my last day on this Earth, or if I’m going to be thrown out like a piece of trash tomorrow!” I cried angrily, feeling hot tears in my eyes. He said nothing and that silence only filled me with more dread. I hung my head in defeat.

I made to push past him, unable to be near him any longer. He might not have said a word, but I knew what happened now. I could see myself out.

I didn’t get very far however, J snatched his arm out as I tried to storm past him and I walked blindly into it, not realising until he was already curling his arm around me. He pulled me backwards until I was held tightly with my back against his chest. “Ah, ah, ah, doll.” He tutted, holding me with an iron grip. Any other time I might have welcomed the contact and closeness, but now I just wanted to be as far away from the man as possible.

“Let go of me.” I huffed angrily, trying to shift one of my arms free, desperate to be away from him and not appreciating the man handling. I squirmed and wriggled in his grasp, but he was too strong for even if he was only using one arm, and I was soon tiring. “Keep going doll,” He breathed in my ear as I began to slow down my efforts, “That feels good.” He teased wickedly. This only fuelled my annoyance at him however, proving to me that he truly couldn’t take anything seriously. I stop wriggling none the less – the last I wanted to do was encourage him.

Even when I fell limp in his arms, he barely loosened his grip around me, instead he brought his free to my neck, brushing away the strands of hair that sat over my shoulder, lightly tickling my exposed skin. I was still more than annoyed with him, but I couldn’t see a way out of this and I couldn’t stop my body from reacting to his touch, my heart rate jumping and my skin tingling under his fingers. The man just did something to me.

I defiantly stared into the mirror straight ahead of me, watching as he bowed his head over my shoulder, some of the green strands of hair falling about of place and cascading over his forehead so they brushed and tickled me. He planted an unusually soft, lingering kiss on my skin, the breath from his mouth sending unwanted shivers down my back and I was quickly forgetting my anger at him, too lost in his movements, enthralled in what he would do next, my eyelids getting heavy and lazy with growing lust that I couldn’t find in me to beat down.

Suddenly his eyes snapped up to meet mine in the reflection, two orbs of bright, fiery blue compared to my own dark, dull eyes.

That’s when it seemed to hit me.

This wasn’t right. This couldn’t last. Nothing in me could hold this man. I was nothing like him, nowhere even close to his league. This was nothing but my miserable imagination playing tricks and making me hope.

I seized the moment, violently wrenching myself free from him - though only managing to do so because I took him by surprise – and then, before he could stop me again, I fled. I underestimated him however, and before I could even leave the bedroom, he had caught my arm, halting me and causing me to stumble back a step to balance myself.

He tugged roughly at my arm, spinning me slightly so I was side on to him, his fingers digging unforgivingly into my flesh, “Do I need to pin you down, doll?!” He snarled at me, his teeth bared. I cowered until his fury, tears now freely flowing from my eyes now. What was going on? Surely, he wanted me to leave? So why had he stop me? Or was he not happy with me just leaving? Did he change his mind, decide it was better to just kill me rather than let me go?

When I didn’t answer him it just seemed to frustrate him more and when I gave a weak tug at my arm in a pitiful attempt to escape he shoved me threw me roughly towards the bed so I fell against the cushiony mattress. He advanced towards me, his eyes clouded and deadly and I backed away, scooting backwards across the unmade duvet.

He strode to the end of the bed, never taking his eyes off me, and grabbed my ankles, forming cold manacles with hands. I bit my lip to stop myself crying out as he dragged me back towards in one forceful movement that made me bounce ungracefully on the bed, it wasn’t like anyone in this manor was going to help me. My legs now hung off the edge of the bed either side of him and I tried to sit up but he lunged at me, grabbing my forearms and pinning me back against the duvet, his body weight anchoring me in place.

“Now, doll....” He breathed heavily, not panting from the fighting with me, but from the exertion of holding back his temper. “Do we have a problem?” He asked, trying to keep himself calm for my sake.

I had two options. I could lie here and cry or I could fight back. I was going to die either way.

“We, don’t.” I snapped back, “I do. And that problem is you.” I glared at him darkly. How could I fall for such an impertinent man, manipulating, cruel man? But even as I questioned myself I could feel his pelvis slightly rocking against mine, his breath against my face and his scent intoxicating me. I knew why.

“And what, princess,” He drawled sly, raising one invisible eyebrow at me, “is the problem?”

“That you’re going to kill me.” I stated bluntly.

“I don’t remember promising that luxury.” He purred, the anger flashing in his eyes like I’d somehow managed to touch a sensitive subject there.

“So, you’re just going to what? Chuck me out now and get on with your next obsession?!” I asked, unperturbed by the flashes of his temper.

He seemed to study my face for a moment, his jaw clenched tight as though that was the only thing stopping him from snapping my neck, the muscles in his arms either side of me, pinning me down, were taunt and defined. “I’m not throwing you out, doll...” He muttered moodily and I all I could do was stare in confusion at his harden features.

Ok, so he didn’t want to get rid of me right now. But I didn’t but it for a second that I would still be here by the weeks end, he would be sick of me by that point.

But why should I wait around until he was done with me? This was my life and I would not be his toy to just pick up and put down whenever he wanted to. I couldn’t. It would hurt too much.

“How long do I have to hang around until you get sick of me?!” I demanded, cursing myself when I heard my voice crack, “How long till you realised I'm used goods and go after something else?!” My tears were leaking down the side of my face without my permission now whether I wanted to act tough or not, I would have wiped them away, but my arms were still pinned by J.

I closed my eyes, I didn’t want to see J’s face, not when I was being so weak. Why couldn’t I be like him and live in the moment, enjoy the time we had together and not ruin it by asking about tomorrow. But I knew I could never do that, it wasn’t me. As nice as it was that he didn’t currently plan to kill me, I still wasn’t the kind of girl for one-night stands or to be shared alongside anyone else he chose to go after. I couldn’t live like that. I’d rather he threw me out right now so I could move on as soon as possible, before my feelings for him dug me any deeper into this hole I was currently curled up in.

Suddenly I felt lips on mine and I froze, having been too lost in my own mind to register what J was doing. I was too shocked to respond to the passionate kiss and I remained unmoving beneath him. I heard a deep, frustrated growl from above me, before J shoved himself angrily off me, leaving my body cool and exposed compared to the warmth of his body a moment ago.

That hurt more. The fact he clearly couldn’t bear to be near me now.

I didn’t want that to be our last kiss, our last contact, I hadn’t been able to enjoy it and I wanted to convey every emotion I was feeling for J into it, I wanted him to know how mixed I was feeling about all of this. Instead I had remained frozen. I wanted to curl up into the duvet and become one with the blankets. I could see the point in trying to live anymore, there was only pain waiting for me if I moved.

Abruptly I was hauled unceremoniously to my feet, my mind barely registering the movement until I almost fell over. “Didn’t you hear me, doll? Get dressed.” Then I was pointed in the direction of the wardrobe and I felt J’s presence leave the room.

This must be it. I had thought as I walked numbly into the large walk-in closet. The whole ‘pack your bags and get out’ moment. Only, I had no bags to pack. My only possessions were the clothes I’d had on my back when I’d arrived and I was pretty sure they had been shredded and burned by now.

None the less I did as I was told, not really caring what I chose, just pulling on a simple pair of jeans and the baggiest t-shirt I could find – I needed comfort, not style, right now. I dug around for a practical looking bag – most of them clutches, small purses and completely unsuitable due to the number of rhinestones, or sparkles on them – but eventually I found something resembling a shoulder bag. I stuffed my phone and, though I knew it was a bad idea, J’s sweatpants and shirt that I had been using as pyjamas, into it. I knew the last thing I needed was anything that could be a reminder of him, but I also couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to fall asleep to the scent of him again.

Once ready I left the room, silently bidding it farewell and heading down the corridor. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to go, but I just kept walking, heading down the large staircase and into the main entranceway. There didn’t appear to be anyone around.

Was I supposed to just leave? Walk out the door and find my own way back to my old flat? I wouldn’t put it past J, why would he care if it rained and I got soaked, if it took me all day and I hit the centre of Gotham at night, probably ending up getting mugged or worse.

I sighed, already feeling exhausted. I glance around once more before I headed to the front door, opening it and stepping out.

“Going somewhere, doll..?” I glanced over my shoulder to see J at the foot of the stairs, most likely having just come down from his office. He didn’t look angry anymore, but when he caught sight of my bag his eyes seemed to darken, even from this distance.

He strode with long strides across the hallway to me so he was at my side in seconds, snatching my bag off my shoulder - me past the point of putting up much of a fight. He the bag open, surveying the contents and frowning in confusion as he grabbed the material of his sweatpants. Busted.

And that was all he was doing. It hadn’t been a big dramatic love scene like the movies where the dream guy stops the damsel at the last minute, confessing his undying love and begging her to stay. In my overactive imaginative dreams.

He’d just been checking to see if I’d stolen anything – that was smart actually – he had a lot of stuff in this house that would probably pay my rent for a few months if I’d pawned it off.

I couldn’t fight him right now, I knew I’d lose anyway, so I let him have the bag, if it did still have my phone in it. I was past caring, I just wanted out. I turned my back on him and the mansion and strode out of the door, heading down the paved path to the roadside.

A tiny part of me was let down when he didn’t try to stop me, but then, this was what he wanted wasn’t it? For me to go? Ok, he may have wanted me to hang around another night or two – and maybe I should be flattered about that? – but I doubted it affected him that much that I had left early, after all, he only had to find another club with another singer and the whole charade would start all over again. No. I should just be grateful to leave with my life.

But even as I thought about that, I felt a traitorous tear slide down my cheek. I brushed it away angrily, I wasn’t going to waste anymore waterworks on that criminal. And that was all he was to me now, just the regular crime boss he had always been, a murderer, a lunatic and someone I should do everything in my power to stay away from.

But still my mind had wandered back to that last kiss. Why couldn’t it have been more? Why had he even kissed me in the first place? I hadn’t seen it coming. Had it been a last-ditch attempt to trick me into staying? I couldn’t be sure. And I shouldn’t be thinking about it. I couldn’t think back on what had happened too much or else I would just play events round and round in my head till I drove myself mad.

I carried on walking, emptying my mind because I couldn’t seem to think about anything but what I had left behind. Just then, an all too familiar engine roar sounded behind me. I would not look back. I would drown it out and keep walking. It no longer had anything to do with me. I reminded myself that I needed to do everything in my power to stay away from him, and turning around would not be doing that.

The roar receded into a low grumble and I caught the purple paint out of the corner of my eye. I’d hoped he just happened to suddenly have urgent business that needed his attention and he would just race straight past me, but no. He was following me, the car now rolling along beside me, keeping pace with my attempt at fast strides.

I would not look over. Eyes ahead or on the pavement, I told myself. I heard the window slide down directly next to me. No. Just keep walking. He wasn’t allowed to do this.

“Doll…” Came the growl from my right.

Nope.

“You know, princess…” He drawled, irritated. “This wasn’t what I meant when I said we were going out…” I faltered slightly in my steps at this, though I still didn’t move my gaze from the horizon in front of me where Gotham sat nestled in dark cloud. When had he said that? It didn’t matter. That didn’t matter. He would still kick me out eventually anyway, no matter what he meant about today.

I kept walking.

I heard him growl darkly next to me, and I saw him roll his neck in annoyance out of the corner of my eye. “Get in the car, doll.” He growled at me.

I didn’t even refuse him, I just ignored him, as though I couldn’t even hear him.

I heard him snarl, though it was soon drowned out when he made the engine roar under his foot and I jumped at the noise, “Don’t make me threaten you, kitten...” He warned, “Get in the car.” He repeated clearly through clenched teeth. When, once more, I made no movement. He blew out a harsh breath, “I have a gun, princess… I was hoping to not have to use it…” He sneered.

I took a few more steps before I stopped. Damn.

I didn’t want to give in, but I also didn’t want to be riddled with bullets, and whatever J felt towards me was probably not enough to overcome the insanity in his head that made it ok to fire several rounds of bullets into a person’s body.

I had to resign myself to the fact he had beaten me and I turned to face the purple Lamborghini that was now parked at the curb next to me.

J smiled widely at my defeat, but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes that remained hard with a lingering darkness that warned I was on thin ice with his temper. That didn’t stop me rolling my eyes and scowling at him.

He must have then hit a button somewhere in the car, because the passenger door to the Lamborghini lifted open on the opposite side of the car. I eyed it warily, trying to think of any way I could not get in the car but when my eyes dropped back to J I noticed he had now removed his gun from its holster and was causally resting the barrel on the open window, the gun pointing directly at an angle slightly so a shot now would hit my leg. “Get in, doll.” He said calmly with a smile that knew I had no other choice.

I scowled at him again, but did what he said, trudging around the bonnet of the sports car and slipping into the leather seat next to him, refusing to look at him, instead choosing to stare grumpily out the passenger window once the door had closed behind me.

Ok, so he clearly hadn’t wanted me to leave when I did, but so what? Why couldn’t he just let me leave? And was this his game now? To hold me against my will until he was done with me? That was sick.

Though I couldn’t deny the small little happiness I felt at being back with him for a little longer. I was messed up.

What I didn’t realise until we had driven for a short while, was that J hadn’t turned around, and he didn’t seem to be heading back to the manor house. Where were we going?

I couldn’t help but glance over at him, his eyes were on the road, but he must have felt my gaze because his eyes then met mine and I quickly looked away, caught in the act. Shit.

“Where are we going?” I asked eventually, though I now kept my gaze out the passenger window. I needed to know.

“I told you we were going out.” He answered simply as if that was all I needed to know. It was very ominous.

“Where?” I persisted. Why wouldn’t he tell me.

He didn’t say anything.

I scowled at him, “What is it with you and all these secrets?!” I demanded, losing my temper. “You never explain anything! You wouldn’t tell me where we’re going, you won’t tell me whether you’re getting rid of me, you wouldn’t tell what we were supposed to be doing last night, you won’t tell me what’s going on with this bloody ‘bet’!” I listed off in anger, my chest heaving. “I never know where I stand with you, you just expect me to nod along and do what you tell me to!” I cried, “Well, I’ve got news for you! I am not your ‘doll’! No matter how much you call me it!”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and I thought he was just going to ignore me again but then his eyes snapped to mine, they were cold and hard like orbs of ice, and he seemed to be weighing me up. Now my anger was ebbing I was realising I might have just pushed him over his invisible temper boundary, had I gone too far this time? Was he trying to figure out the best bullet to put through my heart? I wanted him to yell at me, scream at me, hit me. This threatening silence was far worse.

Finally, he returned his eyes to the road, breaking whatever connection had been holding my gaze to his, but I continued to watch his face, waiting for something. “Last night,” J started, “Was a little test, doll.” He growled, “I saw a little bit -,” he pinched his fingers together, his voice coming high and it felt like he was mocking me, “- of the real you that night you shot one of my men.“ He said, lifting a hand from the wheel and gesturing with it as he spoke, creating his usual dramatic hand gestures. “And it…” He searched for the word, “Intrigued me.” He chose, “I wanted to see it again. That little deadly side.” He grinned menacingly.

I froze. Wait, but last night I was just supposed to be lookout for J alongside Frost. How could I have shown that side of me if no one was expected to come to the warehouse? Hadn’t the Penguin kidnapping been a surprise? Had it? “Did you set up the Penguin last night?” I asked carefully, my voice wobbling.

He laughed, a short sharp laugh, “Oh no, kitten! if you hadn’t shown up I would have been dead!” He laughed as though this was the most hysterical thing in the world. “Ol’ Frosty was too busy clocking out Penguin’s men outside.” He told me, “Work out nicely though, didn’t doll?” He grinned.

I raised my eyebrow at his humour. I had to wonder what he had been planning to do instead to test me, but I didn’t feel like it mattered anymore.

The car fell into silence again, after J’s giggles had subsided, and I couldn’t help my mind turning to the questions he hadn’t answered. What had this bet been all along and what was it now, and where were we going?

I didn’t press him further though, resigning myself to the fact at least I got some answers from him for once, I doubted he would shed any more light on my confusion. I felt like I’d had my allotted amount of truth for the day.

I watched as we entered the city, the skyscrapers and shops rushing past the windows, allowing myself to enjoy the ride, the speed filling me with adrenaline and endorphins. We drove into a part of Gotham that was just outside of the centre and I had to think for a moment why it was so familiar to me. Then it hit me and I sat up at bit straighter.

I thought I caught J glance at me out of the corner of his eye, smirk at the road and then he hit the gas, the speed pushing me against the back of my seat. My heart was pounding in my chest, not because of the speed we rushed through the quiet streets, but because of where we were. Why were we here?

Suddenly we skidded to a halt. The street was empty, as it always used to be at this time of day – there was nothing out this way for a shopper. The building I could see outside my window was the same as it always used to look, a dark imposing warehouse with office blocks lining either side.

J was already out of driver’s seat and opening my door. I slipped out of the car, not truly feeling my limbs, but knowing they were shaking under my weight.

Was this a sick joke of his?

I didn’t want to turn around. I avoided this part of town for a reason. I didn’t want to look at the destruction I had caused to the only link I had to my family. I had torn the picture up for a reason. It had been a painful reminder that held me to the past. A past I couldn’t get back.

I couldn’t bear to look at J. He was cruel for bringing me here. He stood by the bonnet waiting now, “This way, doll.” He grinned, gesturing like a gentleman for me to go ahead. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to go that way.

When he saw that, once again, I was refusing an instruction of his, his hand when in his jacket, landing on his gun holster. My eyes shot straight to it in alarm. “Don’t make me, princess.” He warned with a dark smile.

I took a step forward and he seemed content with that. I followed after him, around the car, screwing my eyes shut when I knew I was facing it. I didn’t want to look.

I felt the J stop and I did the same. “Open your eyes, doll...” He murmured behind me and I could hear the sinister grin in his voice.

“I can’t.” I whimpered, covering my already tightly closed eyes with the palms of my hands, the image already painting itself in my mind’s eye.

“Trust me.” He purred at my ear, the voice sounding like anything but something I should trust. I felt his cold hands at my wrists, pulling them away. “Just this once?” He begged mockingly. I didn’t fight him, letting my arms drop limply to my side. I don’t know what did it, maybe I was sick of hiding away from it, maybe my eyes hurt too much, maybe it was the fact I thought I had heard something almost soft in his voice. But I opened my eyes.

I honestly thought I was hallucinating.

There in, all its original glory, was my club exactly how it had stood all those months ago before I had destroyed it, before J had turned up in my life. The same bricks, and pillars, the same lights, the same sign. Everything.

“No.” I whispered in awe. Was this the ultimate joke?

J strode past me then, straight to the front door and walked straight into the club, confirming to my bewildered my mind that I couldn’t possibly be staring at a mirage. I followed after him a few moments later.

The inside was the same as I remembered as well - expect maybe slightly better looked after as the wallpaper was no longer peeling in the corners and carpet underfoot was cleaner than I’d seen it in a long time. But it was the exact same carpet that must have gone up in flames and dust.

I couldn’t see J anywhere, so I took myself around the club, staring into every nook and cranny, trying to find a fault or the punch line to the joke.

I walked into the main dance floor and bar area, gawking at the place, feeling like I’d stepped back into my memories. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and I turned, hoping to see J, but it was Frost, waiting to the side of the dance floor.

I wandered towards him, hoping he could she a bit of light on what on Earth this all was.

“Frost…” I began, still glancing around the room, “What is this place?”

Frost looked around with me, taking it in himself, “Boss’s way of showing he cares, I guess.” Shrugged Frost. My head snapped back round to face him.

“What?” I asked, “How?” Single words were all I could manage, my mind still trying to drink it all in.

“We salvaged what we could from the wreckage, coupled with a lot of research,” said Frost, strolling around the room, admiring his handiwork, “and we managed to determine everything exactly as it was before the explosions.” He told me, “J refused anything less than exactly right.”

I followed after him as we continued to walk around the entire club. Everything was the same, every piece of architecture an exact match, the same dance floor, same bar, same stage, same dressing room, same office that J had taken over, same booths, same storage rooms, same old classic posters from bands that had played over 10 or 20 years ago, same lighting. The only thing that was different was one picture that I hadn’t even noticed when I first entered the club, it stood framed in an old-fashioned frame directly in front of you as you stepped in through the entrance. My picture of the club I had torn up back at my flat.

I stood staring in confusion, Frost stood behind me as I took it in, my heart hurting. “How?” I asked, tears prickling my eyes again as I stared at the old, tattered and creased picture now proudly framed in front of me. “I tore it up.”

“You tore up a replica.” Frost told me. I looked at him in confusion, not understanding. “Boss sent me to retrieve it from that old farmhouse.” He explained, “Then we replicated it, keeping the original to use as a reference to this,” he gestured vaguely to the club, “you got the replica – which you promptly tore up.” He reminded me. I smirked at this, able to laugh now I knew that it was a fake.

We stood in silence for a little longer, me continuing to stare at the picture, still trying to find a flaw in it to prove it couldn’t be real.

“Where’s J?” I asked eventually. Frost shrugged. I didn’t know what I expected really.

I headed back outside, finding I needed some fresh air to help me process this, still panicking I was about to wake up and have my heart broken.

None of this made sense. J couldn’t be this kind hearted. He was the Joker. He was a clinically insane mass murdering psychopath. This didn’t fit him in slightest. Why go through all this trouble and money – because it would have been a heck of a lot of money and trouble - to completely recreate my club from scratch, every detail meticulous to the original.

I sat myself down on the curb by a drain, not caring how filthy the street was beneath me, or how damp the tarmac was. I put my head in my hands, breathing in the dirty city air evenly. If I looked around now it would all be gone, was my imagination really that good? Could I even remember that much detail?

“Is there a reason, doll…” J growled from behind me, “Why you’re sat in the gutter…?”

I wiped at my eyes, pushing myself to my feet and dusting myself off.

I didn’t say anything, stepping back up onto the pavement walking towards J, my head down. I couldn’t look at him, I’d break down. I stopped in front of him, bringing my head up only enough that I looked directly in front of me, my eye line level with his throat. I lifted my hands, fiddling with the already perfectly folded jacket collar.

“Dol-“ J started, probably about to mock me, but before he could even begin I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him to me, kissing him with every emotion I had wanted to last time, and all the new ones coursing through me now. J, as always, was quick to make the most of it, kissing me back just as passionately, his hands gripping at my hips and pulling me closer.

It was the first time I had ever initiated a kiss between us. But I was going to make damn sure it wasn’t the last. I could help myself smiling against his lips.

“I win, doll.” J murmured into my lips.

“What do you mean?” I asked, gasping.

“The bet is over…” He breathed, his mouth now moving to my jaw, “And I, personally have managed several new high scores thanks to last night…” He teased and I could feel the grin on his lips against my skin. I couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at this and I felt J’s grin spread even wider.

“So what do you win?” I asked him, tilting my head to the side as his lips found the sensitive area of my neck again. I had to fight back a moan, but there was still a lingering concern in my mind, what did he win?

“You, doll…” He growled seductively, “Forever…” He purred against my throat before his lip found mine again. I couldn’t help myself, grinning into the kiss, I’d never felt so happy – that was until I felt J grin back against my lips.

tags: @6fish6 @carouselcurls @theartistdetective @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @toxic-ink @blondieinthecity @arkhamsurviour @viraldragonrider @ohmystarscam @nattalie-z

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