#sorry this got long i love therion so i tried my best

[flametruths]

@aeniqmata begins their tale!

Exploration was all well and good, in moderation. Temenos, however, wasn’t exactly enthralled with the idea of a several-day-long hike with no particular destination. That sounded like far to much walking for something unlikely to bear any fruit.

And still, wander he had. Only, the area had stopped seeming at all familiar. He was fairly certain that he’d visited the towns that were supposed to be in this region, but they didn’t appear to be well... anywhere! He wasn’t sure exactly where “Riverford” was supposed to be, but he was definitely lost. Was this not precisely where Ku should found? Yet, instead of desert sands there were stone buildings. Were his navigational skills really so poor? How embarrassing. Best not let anyone else find that out.

He paused briefly, taking in the area around him, before deciding that he was indeed, completely and irrovocably, lost. At least, he was fairly certain, until something caught his attention. Or perhaps more precisely, someone. A familiar flash of purple in the crowd caught the Inquisitor’s keen eye, and he thought he recognized the silent gait. Could he have found a familiar face in such an unfamiliar place? Excellent! Slipping through the crowd, he began to follow what he thought to be a friend of his.

“ Pardon me. Just a moment. Yes, thank you. “ As he made his way through the people in the square, he moved to the side alleys rather than directly pursuing the thief in question. This approach had two motives. One, he didn’t want to draw attention, should this friend of his be practicing her usual trade. And assuming that to be the case, he’s certain she wouldn’t mind someone else drawing eyes. Then, he could catch up after.

It was a solid plan, with only one flaw. As he moved to reconvene with the thief in question, it was someone completely unfamiliar to him. That... Definitely wasn’t Throné. Yes, it was likely best to take this entire endeavor to the grave with him. His surprise only stopped him for a moment, however, before he approached regardless. “ Good evening. Might I have a moment of your time? “

He might as well still learn something.

[coasttocoastreads]

Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy. 

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut. 

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time.  It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that. 

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze. 

Side Characters: Infinity/5 

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them. 

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt 

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry. 

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas. 

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again. 

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc. 

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan. 

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

[welproosterteethownsmysoul-blog]

Green Apple (Therion x Alfyn headcannons) Part 1

- Therion despised Alfyn when he first joined the party. He thought Alfyn was way too happy and smiley.

-In fact, Therion started calling Alfyn Sunshine

-Alfyn, on the other hand, was intrigued by Therion, mostly because Therion was always very standoffish and kept to himself all the time.

-Alfyn decided to make it his life's mission to get Therion to open up a little bit

-The first attempt did not go well

-"hey Therion!" "What is it, Sunshine." "Nothing much! I was just wondering if you wanted to grab a drink with me." "..... I'd rather drown myself."

- Nevertheless, Alfyn persisted.

- Eventually, Therion started to become a little more comfortable around Alfyn

- Especially after Therion had a bad anxiety attack due to a dream about Da****

-The night that it happened, the party was in between towns and they had decided to camp for the night.

-Alfyn had volunteered to take second watch after Olberic

-About an hour into his watch, Alfyn noticed that Therion, who normally was a very sound sleeper, was tossing and turning

-He went over to check on Therion and noticed quickly that Therion was breathing quite heavily

- Therion's eyes shot open and the poor thing just curled into a ball on the ground

- Poor Alfyn was just sitting there in surprise trying to wrap his head around the fact that "Mr. Tough Guy Thief" Therion was currently curled into a ball on the ground, shaking like a leaf, and crying

- "Are you okay?" *No response* "Therion?"

- Eventually Alfyn gave up trying to get him to talk and went over to his medicine bag

- See, Alfyn recognized what was happening to Therion because Zeph had also been prone to panic attacks and anxiety ever since his parents had died

- Alfyn mixed up a herbal remedy that he created to help calm Zeph down after a panic attack

- He went back over to Therion, who was still curled into a ball, and gave it to him before sitting down beside him

- "It'll help calm you down" *silence* "is it okay if I touch you, Therion?"

- Therion looked up at Alfyn in surprise because no one had ever really asked him that before?

- *nod*

- Alfyn smiled slightly and started to rub circles on his back

- Eventually Therion started to calm down, thanks to the herbs and Alfyn's backrubs

- Look, my boy is touch starved okay?

- Anyway

- They kinda just sat there for the rest of the night

- Alfyn eventually fell asleep on Therion's shoulder

- By the next evening they were in a small town

- The party went to go get supper at a local tavern and they all just kinda hung out afterwards

- Eventually, Therion got tired and decided to go back to the inn

- Alfyn went with him

- "Therion-" "Don't ask me about last night Sunshine" "I wasn't going to. I only wanted to know if you were okay."

- Therion literally couldn't believe his ears

- No one had ever asked him if he was okay before. Not Darius. Not anyone in the party. No one.

- ".... No. I'm not okay." "If you don't want to talk about it-" "I don't." "That's fine. Just.... Know that if you ever want to talk, I'm right here."

- And it took a while

- But one night, they're staying in a two person room and Therion started to have another panic attack

- Alfyn swooped in and does his thing

- But he heard Therion mumbling the name "Darius" over and over again

- He asked Therion about who Darius was the next night

- "No one. It's also none of your business, Sunshine." "Okay." And that's the end of the conversation

- About an hour later, Therion sighed quietly and mumbled

- "What was that?" "I..... I asked if I could sleep next to you tonight." "Sure." ".... You're not even going to question why?" "Nope." "Why?" "Because we're friends. And if this helps you sleep, I'm fine with it."

- Therion went over and laid down next to Alfyn

- After about 10 minutes, Therion glanced over at him

- "Darius was my partner when I was younger." "Partner?" "Yeah Sunshine. Partner."

- And that's how Alfyn learned about Therion's past

- The two of them had a new understanding of each other. Alfyn finally understood why Therion was so unwilling to trust people. And Therion finally had someone who truly cared for him.

- Therion's nightmares even went away!

- Therion fell for Alfyn first

- It was very gradual

- At first it was the way Alfyn smiled at him and the compassion that he showed for other people

- Then it was the way Alfyn cuddled him on nights when they were in a two person room at an inn (They only slept in the same bed on nights that they were alone)

- THEN it was the feeling that Therion got in his stomach whenever their hands touched

- Primrose was actually the one who caused Therion to realize he had feelings for Alfyn

- She had been watching the two of them all morning and saw Therion's face flush pink at least three times

- She pulled him aside in the afternoon

- "Why didn't you tell me?" "About what Prim?" "You and Alfyn!" "What.... What are you talking about?" "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at him!" "The way.... I look at him?" "Yes!" "Enlighten me: how exactly do I look at him." "The same way Ali looks at Tressa."

- Therion eyes widened "You think that I'm-" "It's obvious that you're in love with him"

- Therion's face started to turn red against his will "You're full of it. I'm not in love with him." "Your face says otherwise."

- The thing was, something clicked when Prim said he was in love with Alfyn

- Therion realized that he was, indeed, in love with Alfyn

- And, because running away from your problems is always the right thing to do, Therion started to avoid Alfyn

- it wasn't that Therion didn't want to be in love with Alfyn

- it was just that he was afraid to let it escalate further

- he was scared that the walls he built around his heart after the Darius incident were going to disappear for good

- and he hated the thought of setting himself up for another heartbreak

- so he stopped talking to Alfyn

- They stopped sharing rooms together

- and Therion's nightmares came back, even worse this time

- in the past he usually got one every few months or so

- but now he got one every other week

- When Therion started to avoid him, Alfyn was confused and a little upset

- and in Therion's absence, Alfyn realized how much the cloak wearing dork actually meant to him

- The two of them were kind of a mess

- They were by the sea one day when Alfyn finally decided to talk to him

- ".... Did I do something wrong?" "what? No." ".... Then why have you been avoiding me?" "I'm not." "you are." "Drop the subject." "Therion-" "I said drop the subject." "Fine."

- That night Alfyn was sharing a room with Cyrus in the inn

- Everything was totally normal... Until Olberic came to their door at 2 AM

- "Alfyn.... Therion is curled into a ball and shaking on his bed. He keeps muttering your nam-" "Which way"

- Alfyn practically ran to their room

- Therion was curled into a ball, soaked in sweat, quivering like a leaf, and crying

- Alfyn went over and did his thing

- Olberic just decided to let Alfyn stay in the room for the rest of the night and went back to Cyrus

- Eventually Alfyn calmed Therion down enough that he could talk

- "I thought you said that your nightmares were going away!" "They were." "When did they come back?" "..... Three months ago...." "Why didn't you tell me?" *Silence*

- "Therion. Why didn't you tell me." "Why the hell do you even care?" "Because I care about you!"

- Therion glared at him "Why the fuck would you care about me? I'm a fucking disaster. Everything I touch turns to ruin. I'm fucking broken, Alfyn. Do you know how many people ever actually gave a shit about me? One. And he tried to kill me. So forgive me if I'm trying to keep the best thing that's ever happened to me from getting hurt. I don't want you to hate me like everyone else fucking does."

- Alfyn stared at him in surprise "You're not broken, Therion. You might be cracked a little, but you're not worthless. Cracks can be fixed. And we all care about you - I care about you. You just have to let us. I honestly don't think I could ever hate you."

- Therion looked down at his hands "You mean that" "Every word" "....... I-I was avoiding you" "I know" "It was because I'm .... I'm in love with you"

- Alfyn's body tensed up ".... You're in love with me?"

- Therion started to stand up "Yeah.... I-I'm sorry I should-" "Wait" *silence* "I didn't think you felt the same way" "You-" "Yeah." "Can I-" "Please"

- Therion kissed his cheek shyly and cuddled against him "Thank you. For what you said earlier, I mean." "of course. Anything for you."

- And that's how Alfyn got Therion to trust people again

A/N: Jesus this was long 😂😂😂😂😂

[chroniclesofdancer]

It’s like a piece of you is missing chapter 2

Fandom: Octopath Traveler

Pairing: Cyrus/Therion, past! Alfyn/Therion

Rating: Teen

Summary: Cyrus and Therion realise that their friendship with each other goes beyond that. It takes Therion’s ex boyfriend Alfyn and Cyrus’ old friend Odette to point out that the two of them have feelings for each other. When things become awkward between them it is up to Cyrus to address the situation.

Therion

A few months had passed since he first got the comment from Cyrus, life had started getting busy. Preparations for the tv show was underway, but Therion still found time to consistently contact Cyrus. They had started messaging each other on IM after a week of emailing each other, and eventually they also began video calling each other it was a lot easier than emailing each other. It was always nice to see a new message from Cyrus after a long day.

He had just gotten home after being in the studio, instantly he found himself going straight to the computer. Cyrus was likely home from university by now, he opened up his messenger and smiled when he saw that Cyrus was online. Within a minute he received a video call from Cyrus. He smiled as the other man appeared on the screen, Cyrus too was wearing a soft smile.

~

“Hey you, how was your day?” Therion asked as he took a drink of water.

“I had a bit of a stressful day today, there was a lot of essays to grade today and exams are coming up; so everyone is feeling it right now. How was your day Therion?” Cyrus replied, with a soft sigh.

Therion made a sympathetic noise. “I’m sorry your day was stressful, at least it will be the summer vacation soon though, that way you can have a break. My day was pretty good; I had a couple of meetings and we shot half the scenes for the second episode today.” He said, his smile softening a little. Cyrus smiled back in response.

The two of them video called each other all evening, bantering with each other. Talking to Cyrus felt so normal, it was almost like he had known the professor all his life. He spoke with such flowery language and elegance but he also had a witty sense of humour. Therion went to bed that evening unable to keep the smile off his lips, he hadn’t felt so happy to talk to somebody in a long time. It was curious really.

~

This routine continued for many days to come, Therion had found himself telling his best friend Alfyn about Cyrus. How he enjoyed talking to him every evening, he noticed a look of concentration on Alfyn’s face before the other man finally spoke up. “Sounds like you have a crush on this Cyrus guy Theri.” He said before he grinned at Therion, chuckling when the other’s cheeks heated up instantly. A crush? That wasn’t possible was it? He only started talking to Cyrus a month ago, sure the other guy understood him and they talked every single night, but surely it couldn’t be.

That night, as he tried to sleep Alfyn’s words were all Therion could think about. He thought about the rush of emotions that he would always get when I saw a new message from Cyrus, how he always went to bed smiling afterwards. It was almost exactly like the feelings that he had for Alfyn about a year ago, now that crush had been painful. They both cared for each other dearly, but Alfyn was always hung up on his childhood friend Zeph and Therion was still trying to mend his broken heart from a long ago betrayal. It had been a mess altogether, and while they both adored each other they had had decided they were better off apart.

Therion mulled this through in his head, maybe Alfyn was right and he did have a crush on Cyrus. But was there any chance that Cyrus returned those feelings? He decided that maybe it was best to just wait and see what happened.

~

Cyrus

Cyrus was having a dilemma just like Therion was, after a recent conversation with his old friend Odette about Therion; she had pointed out that it seemed like he had feelings for the elusive young man. After a couple of sleepless nights, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary; he deduced that she was right. He did appear to harbour some kind of feelings for Therion, he certainly hadn’t felt anything of the sort in a long time.

He wondered to himself if he should mention it, he had noticed that the last time he had spoken to Therion that the other man had seemed a little bit more subdued. Could it be possible that Therion had picked up on his crush and was now avoiding him. He didn’t want to even think about that, he cherished Therion’s friendship and he didn’t want to ruin what was already between them because of this.

After about a week of awkward tension between the two of them Cyrus knew that he had to say something, it was better to air out whatever was going on between them rather than having it constantly being awkward and them drifting apart; this had happened far too many times in Cyrus’ life and Cyrus only wished to fix this situation. He called Therion, feeling his heart beating in his chest.

~

Therion opened his call pretty quickly, he too also seemed very nervous; it was clear that they both had to talk about this situation. “Hi there, Therion. I think that we need to talk. I just want to say that if I have upset you in any way; I am truly deeply sorry.” Cyrus said, he felt so awkward; he was used to his words being misinterpreted but somehow with Therion the idea of upsetting him was unbearable.

Therion sighed softly. “You haven’t done anything wrong Cyrus... It’s just that I uh, oh gods how do I talk about this?” He buried his face in his hands, letting out a small frustrated noise before he finally lifted his face to look Cyrus in the eyes once more. There was a weak smile on his face. “I have feelings for you Cyrus, romantic feelings I mean. I didn’t think that this would happen; but it did. And it’s been running through my mind all week, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.” Cyrus could feel his face heat up, his hands were shaking. This couldn’t be real could it? It had to be a dream.

He realised that there had been silence between them for over a minute before he came back to his senses. “Oh, my dear Therion. I do believe that I have developed romantic feelings for you as well. I too have been unable to get you off my mind; talking to you has become my favourite part of the day, and you’re so kind and attentive. I never thought that this would happen either.” He could feel a wide smile spread across his face.

When he looked back at Therion on the screen, he noticed that the other man was also wearing a wide smile. This was probably the happiest he had ever seen him. “Thank you Cyrus, I feel the same way. I always feel happier when I talk to you. I guess this means that we’re an item now huh?” He said with a quiet chuckle. Cyrus returned the laugh before he grinned at Therion.

“I guess we are, we don’t have to rush things. But I want to keep talking to you.” Cyrus said, Therion agreed with him. After all they both lived in separate countries, long distance relationships took a lot of work after all. They spent the next couple of hours talking things through, but Cyrus couldn’t deny the rush of excitement he felt about this whole situation.

There would be many hardships between the two of them, but love always requires sacrifice; and both Therion and Cyrus were willing to see it through until the very end.

[melonoverlord]

📖 for Ravi, Val, and Tam

Ravi

Month 4, Day 12

Dear Journal,

I’m sorry I didn’t writein you yesterday or the day before. We were going after the bad man’s ship andwe found new friends! I think my favorite one was Miss Ciri; she was reallynice to me and Crumb and she even gave me a hug before she left for Therion!Well, I actually hugged her but she accepted it so that’s kind of the samething. I know that things haven’t been very good for anything, but I think usbeing nice to them is making them happier! They didn’t fight me when I conductedthe test and that’s always a good thing. When they come back from Therion, Iwant to try talking to them more. I didn’t get to speak to Mister Castor or Mx.Icio all that much but I think they’re really cool! I want to be like MisterCastor when I grow up and be the leader of a revolution. Also he and Miss Cirihave cool hair like Mister Tam and I can’t wait until I’m big enough that MissLuna lets me dye my hair.

Now that the new peopleand Miss Val left, the day’s been kinda lonely. Me and Crumb went to the GameFloor and played bowling for a little bit but I think Crumb’s not strong enoughto throw a bowling ball. I still have some trouble throwing it but I think I’mdoing better. Miss Luna came down and helped me throw the ball correctly and Ithink we finally got to have a long talk! I told her how I was doing witheverything and my problem about sometimes not remembering things. I think she wantsto keep an eye on me and make sure I’m okay but I really want to just be seenas an employee too and earn my keep. It doesn’t make things good that I’m onlyeight and a half and the next oldest person is over ten years older than me(though even then people still sometimes treat Miss Val like a kid) but I justwish people saw me more than just a kid.

Well, I won’t keep youtoo long, journal. I’m sure you have a lot of important journal-y things to dobeing a journal and all. I will write in you again next time somethinginteresting happens. Bye!

 Val

Month 4, Day 10, Hour 16

My attempts to recreateB3rT13’s hardware, at least on a smaller scale, have been somewhat successful.Physically the translation between B3rT13 and version 1.0 of the RedistributionProject, of whom I named Phoebe, is a perfect copy, just several feet smallerand built to resemble factory conditions. I still have yet to test whethercommands and movements will act the same once deployed, but I haven’t gottenaround to building a tiny B-Mark gun. The main differences between Phoebe andB3rT13 lie in their cognitive abilities. Granted, when I built B3rT13’s mentalprocessing systems I was simply building on an older model but now I ambuilding Phoebe’s processing systems from scratch, she doesn’t recognize voicesor faces like B3rT13 can, and has a lot more trouble speaking (where the otherhas the problem of not shutting up), and can only say a little bit more thanher name and my name. And “Ow fuck” because apparently I say that wheneversomething blows up in my face. Environment stress tests will be conducted tosee how Phoebe reacts against other creatures. Reactions against subjectsCastor Rafel and Ciri ???? have proven fruitful with no stressors ignited.

Now that at least thatpart’s done, I can do the personal part of the journal, or how Luna says it“I’m still technically in therapy so I should log my feelings”. It took me fiveyears, but I finally got to meet the famous Castor Rafel. After how highlyeveryone spoke of the Rafels and the fact that they’re war heroes, I expectedCastor to be taller? Like you look at Perseus Wright and I maybe be a hugelesbian, but that guy is hero material. Though I definitely see myself in himwhen I got here. I had my share of breaking shit too. God, I broke so muchshit. Good in a fight though.

Ciri is a fucking breathof fresh air. Not that I discredit any of the biologically minded peopleaboard, but finding someone who appreciates technology is a blessing. PoorNivviah tries to understand when I talk to her about my work but since she’s afish and Theuthida has that conservative backwater politics, she had no fuckingclue what I was talking about. Ciri though at I can have a conversation. Itfeels weird saying this since she’s like five years older than me, but shereminds me of how I used to be before I joined… back when I still had. Anyways,I’m glad she trusts me to keep her secret safe and I’ll do anything I can tohelp her. Tech ladies got to stick together, ya know?

I had pegged Icio as theloner type, but they are incredibly good in a fight. They fucked up my botspretty good and they all passed the “Ravi test” so that’s a plus in my book.When they… molted (?) scales, that was honestly one of the grossest shit I’veever seen in my life. And I’ve seen a lot of gross shit. I mean, they mean wellbut I was thoroughly disgusted. From a scientific standpoint, I will definitelyask Nivviah if that’s happened to her.

Besides our newcrewmates, I think that’s all the news. I still miss you guys a ton and I’mtrying to make you proud. I know I’d do a lot fucking better if you were withme. I love you both so much.

 Tam

Morning?

We finally got our firstnew set of recruits in four years and I couldn’t have asked for a better set.The girl with them is really pretty and she’s super sweet, but that’s not why Ilike them! I mean sure, Miss Ciri is the nicest girl I think I’ve ever met (Imean the only girls I’ve been around in the last ten years are Luna, Nivviah,Venus, and Valerie and although I love them all they’re not entirely known forbeing “nice”, except maybe Nivviah. Don’t get me wrong, Luna’s my best friendand she’s been incredibly kind to me, but I guess there’s something differentabout Ciri.

They left yesterday forTherion to help the Wings of Freedom, so I’ve just been lounging about. Lunaasked me to spar with her and for once I actually knocked her to the groundwith my staff. I think I’m finally getting comfortable with fighting but I knowI have a long ways to go before I’m actually on the ground. I think…. I thinkeventually I will have to ask Luna if I can go on a mission to practice. I’mdefinitely not going anywhere where humans are, but I think I’d be okay goingto one of the outer planets like Alternia or Scylla. I heard the Dryads arepretty nice too.

Also in the meantime,I’ve also started spending some more time with the resident children on theship. Ravi’s been teaching me some biology stuff and been poking around in thelab of various creatures we’ve found on different planets. It’s been reallycool getting to talk to the kid. I think sometimes he gets a bit antsy nothaving anyone to talk to despite how hard the rest of us try. Well, I think Val’strying to talk to him more about science seeing how that’s really where hispassion is, but a lot of that goes over my head. I mean, growing up all thatwas really expected of me was to play the violin. It’s been fun though. I’ll havesomething to show everyone when the group comes back from Therion. I’m tryingto establish more of a bond with everyone on the ship rather than just Luna. I’mtrying. Stars knows I’m trying. I guess that’s it for now. Goodbye for now.