#sorry this is a long ass post but im beyond DONE writing this fic at this point

[watchyourdigits]

oh no

I'm having a really hard time writing the next chapter of my Mac/Eve fic. like... ouchh. I am frustrated beyond belief at this point.

Somehow I've managed to lose all of the Evelyn momentum and have completely lost my characterization of her. Like, she's already slipping through my fingers and I'm literally on chapter five (5). This is incredibly fucking tragic and unlike anything I've ever experienced with Frankie and Danse.

Like, with the other fic I'm working on, Frankie is very multi-faceted, but he's also openly so. Evelyn is multi-faceted, but a lot more tormented at her core so she'd very *tight* and generally hard to read.

(TW: mentions of abuse ahead)

Not to mention, she's explored entirely through MacCready's observance of her. Frankie just kind of gets to exist as himself, unrestricted for the most part. I've long since opened up any "hidden" parts of him, thought they weren't central to his personality per se. Like, he is who he says he is and nothing less. Frankie was only hiding where he came from. Whereas Evelyn is hiding HERSELF as a whole (though not really tbh because she doesn't know who she even is).

She's breaking down far too quickly and I'm forgetting how to write her as the closed book, "rage and fury are my only emotions" character she's intended to be at this point. She's hard to love and very hesitant to reciprocate in kind, but MacCready is absolutely entranced with her. He finds beauty in the way she moves and how she holds herself in the world. She's brutal, but effortlessly so. She's learned how to preserve herself in the face of her many traumas. He's supposed to peel back her layers, getting under her skin in ways she doesn't anticipate, and slowly discover who SHE is even if she doesn't realize it herself yet.

It's a mutual journey, one they have together, because Mac just being so unashamedly himself rubs off on her. She realizes the possibility of just letting oneself experience and enjoy things for the sake of it. She's basically discovering the world (and herself) through him and his occasionally childlike affinities. All the while, he bears witness to her pain through the way she razes everything around her to the ground in a desperate ploy to feel like she has SOME semblance of control.

It's meant to be tragic and painful, because this is a story based on healing and creating oneself from scratch basically (specifically after suffering long-term abuse). And it's also deeply personal to my own life and current relationship vs my past ones. Like, I'm still working on coming out of my shell and finding who I am. And this is the better half of a decade AFTER my own abuse. This fic has been very therapeutic to work on, but from the perspective of characterization I'm losing Eve and it's killing me.

I think the only way to proceed is to retain the basic Sole Survivor backstory, but remove Shaun from the equation entirely as it's putting too much pressure to move the story along. The character development is meant to take place over a longer period of time, with Stuff happening that drives it home, yet I feel it's moving way too fast due to the plot in and of itself.

Of course I want the Institute to be a central Bad Guy, but this needs to all unfold over the course of about two years. Like, preparations for war and all that don't happen overnight. For example, the Brotherhood rebuilding Prime as a relatively new faction in the Commonwealth with little to no outside help is something that, in real time, would take years. I think a group like the RR or Minutemen who don't have some major War Machine to rebuild could prepare in less time than that, but still.

It's already been a few months time in my fic and I'm like ???? this isn't working for me. I always feel the plot breathing down my neck and it's really ruining this fic in particular 🫡🫡

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Who do you think your moots could pull and why?

Alright lets go I have...so many moots and if I forgot u its 300% my bad pls come hit me upside the head, also im bad at these bc I honestly just push my favourite characters onto ppl oops but long assss list below the cut - I love u all

@cafedanslanuit: ok I dont know why, but porco for u my friend. Maybe it’s bc the last fic I read from u was the porco and zeke one? but damn. porco. for sure. 

@kmorgzz: MY LIL CINNMON BUN. ok NOT GON LET MYSELF BE SWAYED by ur porco pfp - but i...kuroo. DO U EVEN LIKE HIM?? but I dunno why I CAN SEE IT. ready to fite u but also love cuddles soft friend and that WALL of a man? 

@flamingblinglove: U ALREADY KNOW 姐姐 U ALREADY KNOW. OFC U COULD PULL UR FAV flaming boi!!! I love u very much and love him for u! 

@alto-march-of-death: AL. AL AL AL AL AL AL AL AL. DO I NEED TO SAY IT. SUGA. FKIN. SUGA. I dont even need to - SUGA. also reiner. But mostly SUGA. 

@onwiings: LEN. we havent really chatted before so im sorry if this is real random but for some reason....connie? I DONT KNOW WHY BUT CONNIE FOR SURE. 

@boston-bakedbeans: I JUST GET JEAN VIBES. U COULD OUT SNARK HIM ANY DAY 

@daddyjackfrost: HANA MY SWEET QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY OVER STUPID VBALL BOYS. I have so many. BUT L? L FOR SURE. u are an intellectual and he would be all :0 while eating his damn cake. ALSO. Bo-bokuto? he could handle ur energy and I would love to see it. 

@bellbee: armin vibes. You're just so dang sweet? I think it would be such a good match 

@kojinnie: KOJIIIIIN. ZEKE. ZEEEEKKKE. IM SCREAMING THIS. BUT LIKE- NOT THE MEAN EVIL ZEKE. THE SOFT SWEET ONE WHO WILL BRUSH THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ZEKE. 

@onyxoverride: I was going to say zeke?? t he naaaasty kind of zeke where hes just obsessed with u, but totally not influenced by ur latest posts but MICHE. BIG MANS. also for some reason I bet u smell good. but not in a sweet or delicate way?? I bet u smell really good but in a way ppl cant place? so ppl always ask “what perfume/cologne are you wearing?” 

@peachysimp: MY SWEET MICHI 姐!!!! U DESERVE ALL THE LOVE AND CUDDLES IN THE WORLD. im just thinking of a big mans...mmm Reiner? Eren??? no problem for my sweet 姐姐. u can handle em. 

@deludedimagines: SORCHAAAAAA MY LOVE. MY DEAR. Levi for FREAKING SURE. AFTER OUR TALK - YOU DESERVE TO GO KAYAKING AND CANOEING WITH HIM. PLEASE. 

@aotwrites: iane. love of my life lane. pls drink some water I know ur working v hard. ok but why can I imagine a soft af erwin that u could EASILY pull?? like NO problem. he would be best listener and the shoulder rubs? after a long day?? IANE. PLS. 

@plutowrites: PLUTO U KNOW HOW MUCH I FKIN LOVE UR ZEKE SERIES SO IS IT EVE N A QUESTION WHY I THINK YOU COULD GET ZEKE NO PROBLEM?? 

@gojosweets: SWEEETIIE levi for SURE BC HEALING HANDS IS STUCK IN MY HEAD. u could for sure pull a grumpy injured Levi and make his heart go boink 

@hexbestfriend: Sierra my dear. ur other url says it all. but also, a big mans. so....Erwin for sure - I would PAY to see this bc u would have him just so into u and I just...im swooning 

@horseanon--simpforall: RACH. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY. U WRITE THE BEST CUTE SWEET ZEKE. FOR SURE. AND SUGA. U COULD PULL THEM WITHOUT EVEN FKIN TRYING. I love u TOO much 

@misskasa: love the new url btw tea??? damn. also Eren. EREN. LONG HAIRED MAN BUN BUT NICE NOT PROBLEMATIC EREN. u deserve it all 

@thebubblybakery: MY DEAR. MY DEAAAARRR ur url is way too cute and for SURE. Levi. for SURE NOT A DOUBT IN MY MIND. bake him lil treats and he’ll chop the fingers off anyone who tries to steal em from him 

@yearning-moon: omg my new obsession is ur writing, but u would have no problem pulling our collective fav zhongli. no problem whatsoever im just gone u write him so well I cry every single time.

@lookslikeleese: I MET U THRU SUGA AND I WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT. suga no problem. ERen. no problem. find u a friend that can do both. thats u. 

@doulcha: another easily Levi pull - honestly if theres anything I learned on this website, its that everyone has big brain and is cute as a damn button and 

@anlian-aishang: MY SWEET DARLING. U COULD HAVE ANYONE. HONESTLY. UR A DAMN INTELLECTUAL, BEAUTIIIIIFUL BEYOND WORDS AND JUST HNG I LVE U SM. LEVI. ERWIN (NO ARGUMENTS I WOULD PAY TO SEE U WITH ERWIN BC WOOOOW HOW SWEET) also u already know how much I love the idea of u with Farlan U COULD HAVE ANYONE U WANT AND U KNOW IT. 

@starstruckkittensweets: another sweET DARLING WHO COULD GET ANYONE SHE WANTED. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE but Levi. Levi FOR DAMN SURE BC HOW COULD I NOT. erwin too? absolutely. 

@unloved-cadillac: CADDY my DEAR is another Levi puller for SURE - I feel like u can match his snarky replies? and it would just be a lot of grEAT banter back and forth and phew 

@katsuhera: MY PENGUIN LOVING FRIEND another Levi lover who could get him with NO problem whatsoever. pls take his grumpy ass to the aquarium 

@therealvalkyrie: my wife my love my DEAREST. I mean we’re already married x4? 5? times?? so I mean u already got me so I think u already won this game. USHI GUSHI FITE ME. also suga. curl up on a nicely upholstered armchair, nice cup of tea, maybe some ice cream? gorgeous view outside, trying to flip pages but its lowkey a pain to do so because suga is doing the same in his seat, but ur arms are stretched out to meet in the space between the two of you, and ur knuckles are brushing 

@rulerofstars: ANGELLLLL u are another eaaaasyyyy Levi pull bc HOW SWEET ARE U 

@acekou: ...honestly anyone u want bc I AM INTIMIDATED - AS I SHOULD BE. and I love that energy for u. ERen??? Levi?? ARMIN??? ERWIN?!?!?? no problem 

@thot-farm: ME. I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS AND I HAVENT SAID HI BEFORE. but ME. U COULD PULL ME NO PROBLEM BC M LOVE U ALREADY. but I mean im no Levi and u could pull him no problem too dearie (; 

@xxdragonwriterxx: omfg LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI LEVI!!! UR FICS ARE SO DAMN AMAZING AND THE IDEAS ARE AMAZING AND THE PLOT AND EVERYTHING and ur also so sweet?? LEVI. FOR. LIFE. EASILY. NO CONTEST. 

@jean-does-not-have-a-horseface: BIRD. MANS. HAWKS. DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?!?!!?  

@levilaughlove69: kenny. fkn. ackerman. no more words. 

@bluebellhairpin: SEE ABOVE. also Erwin - I know u like that big mans my sweet darling nemo :3 but also BACK THE FK OFF ALL OF U UR DRIFTING WITH ME SO ME. U PULL ME. EVERYONE ELSE CAN BACK THE FK UP

@unadulteratedtreecrusade: BEANBEANBEANBEAN IM THIIIIIIIS close to coming to visit u bc I love u SO DAMN MUCH. but HONESTLY WHO CANT U PULL?? LEVI. DONE. ERWIN. DONE. 

@1252291: N UR URL SAYS IT ALL. LEVI. zeke? BOTH? ANNIE VIBES TOO??? JEAN? im done. 

@babieweeb: another moot I havent interacted too much with 🥺 but ZEEEEEKKKKE 

@itspastellemons: LEYLA LISTEN. me. u got me. u can pull me anytime shh dont tell my bf I LOVE U SM I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH R U KIDDING!?! but other than me ahem LEVI. LEEEVIIIIII FOR U BC UR SO DAMN SWEET AND HE WOULD MELT AT U. erwin? wrapped around ur finger?? REINER?? MICHE?? I cant even choose for u ur too powerful 

@alrightberries: I think ur on a Nanami binge rn AS U SHOULD BE. so just know that u could have that mans in an instant

@mysteriousmagicx: MY FAV WITCH MOOT WHO HAS THE BEST DAMN FKIN AUS AND THE BIGGEST DANG BRAIN. WHO CAN’T U PULL??? WITCH HANJI. VAMPIRE LEVI. WEREWOLF MICHE. STOP IT U CAN HAVE EM ALL.

@etherealserenity: ERRRREEEEENN I DONT NEED TO SAY ANY MORE. AND U KNOW WHY. 

@cant-spell-slay-without-lay HOW THE FK DID I NOT ADD U EARLIER MY DEAR PLS IM SO SORRY OMFG - but UR LEGIT MS. ACKERMAN HOW COULD U NOT PULL LEVI. case closed. ms ackerman is legit. 

[donghun-s]

the great big mel is lazy tag

i’m lazy and haven’t done anything i’ve been tagged in for like the past month or so,, so here’s all of em in one go 

tagged by @seonghwoah

rules: tag 10 5 none im sorry followers you’d like to get to know better!

name: mel

birth year: 2001

sign: libra

height: 5′8″/173cm

put your playlist on shuffle and name the first 4 songs:

finale - h.u.b

starry sky - astro

let go - bts

i need u - clc

grab the nearest book, turn to page 23, what’s the 17th line?

A thin crust of dirt spread from the ghoul’s hand, straight up Eurymachus’s spectral arm.

- blood of olympus, rick riordan (mind you, this book was d u s t y when i picked it up)

ever had a song or poem written about you?

yeah,, it was for a poetry assignment in 8th grade and it was by this kid who i had ‘dated’ for two months and then ‘broke up with’ and it was abt how he hated me and hated the notion of love and anybody i’d ever love in the future lmao

when was the last time you played air guitar?

uh yesterday while bopping to rock me by one direction

celebrity crushes?

,,, u mean my whole blog

what is a sound you love/hate?

i rlly do love the sound of children laughing or giggling,, its one of the purest things in the world tbh

i hate the sound of ppl cracking their necks,, dont care what else u crack just not your neck it makes me s o uncomfortable

do you believe in ghosts?

yeah why not

do you believe in aliens?

well duh

so you drive? and if you do, have you ever crashed?

yes i drive, and i have crashed,,,, the second time i ever drove my mom was like ‘hey let shave u pull into the garage’ and then screamed at me to brake and i hit the gas instead of the brake oops

last book you read?

uh not including fics,,, probably ‘death by black hole’ by neil degrasse tyson??

do you like the smell of gasoline?

for the most part, yeah

the last movie you saw?

i rewatched dinsey’s hercules recently

do you have any obsessions right now?

aside from kpop, probably boba tea, my friends i have gone at least twice a week for the past month and im running out of money

do you tend to hold grudges?

not rlly,,, holding grudges and hating ppl is just so emotionally exhausting for me tbh,,,, like i’ll let go of it but that doesn’t mean that i pretend like it never happened, i just dont waste time on it

are you in a relationship right now?

nah dude

tagged by @seonghwoah

rules: shuffle your playlist and write down the first 10 songs!!

ok i’m gonna do 5 songs from two diff playlists, one is hzck, my list of just new-ish songs i’ve been listening to recently, and another is beyond the direction, which is the entire discography of 1d and bts all in one playlist ok cool

1. feels alright - watsky

2. i wanna know - roh taehyun

3. pain is beauty - chanmina

4. black dress - clc

5. treasure - astro

6. loved you first - one direction

7. answer: love myself - bts

8. dimple - bts

9. tell me a lie - one direction

10. boy in luv - bts

tagged by @1ove1ies and @ohkaypopthis

group music tag

rules - using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and tag ten people.

artist: bts 

gender: outro: her

how do you feel: i’m fine

if you could go anywhere: magic shop

favorite mode of transportation: airplane pt. 2

your best friend: answer: love myself

favorite time of day: 24/7 = heaven

if your life was a tv show: begin

relationship status: whalien 52

your fear: moving on

tagged by @seonghwoah

home/lock screen/last played song

ok so my lockscreen is me n some of my swim kids so im not comfortable posting that but here’s my homescreen n last song

tagged by @seonghwoah

share 5 little things about yourself that people might not be able to tell without seeing you in person, and tag a few people you want to get to know!

1. i’ve got two rlly deep dimples that u can see p much all the time,,, even when i’m angry they pop out sometimes

2. i gesture a lot when i talk, and when i sign, my facial expressions are wild,, my hearing friends that don’t sign think its hilarious to watch my face when i sign

3. i have mild vitiligo across 40% of my body!!

4. i’m an awkward size where a lot of time ‘plus-size’ stuff will be too big bu ‘normal’ sizes are too small

5. i have a rlly bad habit of cracking my knuckles a l l  t h e  t i m e

tagged by @seonghwoah

url tag game aka let’s make mel suffer for the third time (this is the second time i’ve done it w this long ass url,, and i did it before w starlightbangtann too lmao)

say my name - ateez

thinkin’ about you - jbj95

all day all night - shinee

reflection - rm (of bts)

like that - clc

i’m not famous - ajr

good night - dia

headache - day6

teenagers - my chemical romance

jump - bts

easy to love - key

oh my! - svt

no scrubs - weezer (cover)

girlfriend - bigbang

intro: ringwanderung - bts

nice - got7

aah that’s it!! if you read all of this wow congrats, now u know a bunch abt me!! also if u got this far, feel free to do any of these tags urself and say that i tagged you

[vixenfur]

Tag at least 5 people you love and give a few words on why!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Since there was so much BS in the fandom today, time to share some love! :)

- @zeta-jane is an absolute godsend of a friend. They are sassy, funny, talkative, energetic and so full of amazing ideas!!! Zeta is always there for me when I need someone to lean on. They’re such a kind friend and they will not hesitate, baitch to fight people who hurt me- probably because they know I’d do the same for them! They’re such good company both online and IRL, and I am blessed to have met them! I am even more blessed to be writing City of Dust and Shadows with them, which has become the longest fic either of us has ever written! We may or may not surpass it with our future collabs, however ;) They are just the coolest person ever and they deserve all the love in the world. I adore them so much!!! TUT 

- @mikayu-chan is such a got damn SWEETHEART. They are trying to see the positive side of things, especially after so much fandom drama in the past, and I’m so so proud of them for trying their hardest to live their best life. They have it way too hard and I want to give them a big ole hug and many days of fun!!! They always make me laugh and we have a great time on calls! I’m glad that we see eye-to-eye on so many things and that we continue to teach each other new things all the time!! They are really an irreplaceable friend and such a joy to talk with, to write with, and to laugh with. I love you Chan

- @crazyloststar deserves the entire world and more!!!! oMg I cannot express how much I love Alex!!!!! Alex is just a big bundle of happiness and fun and she makes me so so so so so so so happy. I love calling with her and talking, I love writing with her and everything else!! We always have so much fun, I swear I can’t talk to her without laughing my ass off at least once XD we’re always DJDJDHDHDHDJD’ing at each other because we just can’t find the right words to express how hard we’re agreeing with each other/laughing omfg. I adore her and I cant WAIT to cosplay KimiYoi and RyuuTenn with her hopefully at next year’s Yaoi Con WOOT WOOT :D!!!!

- @yuudefensesquad is sUCH A GOOD BEAN who deals with SO MUCH and she just needs a big ole hug and lots of Yuuchan i stg. Caydence is such a funny funky lil nugget and I protecc her with my life okay. Her art? Flawless. Her shitposts? FUCKIN HILARIOUS. Her meta? Super engaging and intriguing! Her bravery? ABOVE US ALL LOL. She is just awesome and I’m glad I forcefully adopted her into my lil family of mikayuu nerds bc it just wouldn’t be the same without her. Caydence ily never stop being you. A lot of shit challenges her irl and everywhere else, but she still keeps her head up and man I really respect her.

- @mikaisatop is MY FRICKIN RIGHT HAND MAN. My SOULMATE. SARAHHH I ADORE YOU. You might be busy rn but I love you so much girl ;__; even though she’s busy I always bother her bc I want her to know I wouldn’t ever forget about her!! I’m so happy we got to collab so much and will continue doing so!! Winter’s Waltz is so much fun to write and I’m so happy she is writing it with me anyways despite such a busy schedule. If it weren’t for Sarah we wouldn’t have so much good MikaYuu content and I applaud her for it!!

- @6lilystrings9 IS JUST THE BOMB DOT FUCKIN COM. Lily and I didn’t super duper connect until more recently but omg talking with her is just a freakin BLAST. We always get so hype with each other, even over each other’s fandoms that we aren’t even in!!! Something about the energy in her pulls out the energy in me and we just get GOING lmao. She is so very talented and amazing and a fascinating person all around! I’m so glad we got to hang a bit at KatsuCon in 2017 but I hope we can do that again in the future! I miss her all the time!

- @weirdfairytales is the MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. Anna is just the biggest definition of a meme I can think of and I LOVE her for it. I’m so glad that we met way back when MikaYuuHell Skype existed and that she thought of the masterpiece that is Cherry Boy one wild night. I’m so glad we continued to be great friends and talk about so many things. I love when our messages get super long cause we just have so many things to say XD Cosplaying Victuuri with her at Katsu was so lit, and I can’t express how much I love her Victuuri fic too!!!

- @hannaadi88 is such. a. sweetheart. I can’t say it enough. Hanna does so much and gets so little I stfg yall need to APPRECIATE HER MORE. Her writing is STUNNING and the projects she makes for this fandom are just outstanding!!! From gift exchanges (I SAID ONS REMIX BEFORE IM SORRY i was wrong XD) to 365 Days of Mika and Yuu, she has put in so much for us constantly! She has also granted us with the lovely fic Scented, and not to mention one of my favorite fics of ALL TIME, Eye of Horus- the Ancient Egypt take on Unwritten!!! And she named it that without knowing my first tattoo is literally the eye of horus! XD I was shook lmfao and I still am. Meeting Hanna was amazing and the day I spent with her and @ihavetobenkyou (who is also a-freaking-MAZING and a big bundle of goodness!!!!!!) is one I’ll never forget. She’s so chill and just gives off this ‘wise’ aura idk why but I just look up to Hanna so much. No matter what she writes I will always support her and you all should too!!!

- @just-another-dream-about-yuu is ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMANS TO EVER HUMAN. Julia omfg I cannot express how much I love you. TwT Julia is not only one of the most talented artists I have ever seen, but she is so sweet and fun and so full of energy and excitement!! She’s super busy with adulting so she’s not around in the fandom a whole lot but I always make sure to include her bc I won’t let her leave XD JULIA YOU CANNOT ESCAPE…. lmfao I will always drag you back… I won’t ever forget the day I got a twitter notification that someone drew me Unwritten fanart and the croaking sound I made was insane LMAO my friend who was with me was like WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED XD I was so excited!!! I still adore every piece of fanart she’s given me and I always will. Thank you, Julia, for bringing my imagination to life so many times, for showing me what you saw when you read my writing. It means more than I can say.

- @coleglend is the most underappreciated person in this fandom I swear. Or, who was in this fandom- Cole is off doing other things besides OnS, but regardless, she is so very amazing and beyond talented. I can’t even express how beautiful her art is and the emotions each piece sparks in me. Even her new Marvel artworks are just breathtaking and I truly admire them!!! I don’t know anyone who can make such detailed, visually engaging art- everything she creates belongs in a museum I swear. I want to print them and frame them for my walls!!! I look at her art all the time!!! Now that I’ve established how gorgeous her art is, talk about Cole as a person! She’s so sweet and kind and I love seeing her little posts on Instagram and such, even though I can’t understand most of them, I like seeing that she’s with friends and having a good time.

- @linnpuzzle is one of the coolest most amazing people in this fandom!!! Her art is STUNNING and as she knows, I will drop everything to commission her and buy her merch because I just am addicted to her gorgeous art!!! I am so honored to have some of her art as part of my collection of OnS things and I am forever going to treasure the commissions I’ve purchased from her!! Besides being a great artist, I love talking with Linn, too! I’m so glad we have things in common outside of MikaYuu, like Voltron and Kyo Kara Maoh :D Linn is truly too good for this world and she deserves everything okokok.

- @zilleniose-chu is truly an ICON of this fandom. We don’t talk alot outside of business stuff lolol but they are just freakin amazing!!! I adore their art so much- I always have, ever since I first saw their page!!- and I LOVE their AU’s and headcanons!! They are full of such great ideas and humor and they can share those ideas through really stunning and captivating artwork

- @absolute-exclusivity IS AN AMAZIN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING BEAN OH MY GOODNESS i cANT TELL YOU ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE LYSIA. AAAAAAAAHHHH THIS GIRL IS GONNA SPEND MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME OUT IN LONDON LESSGO GIRL!!! I’m so excited you have NO IDEA. Lysia is so so so energetic and cute and overall such an amazing friend!! She’s so caring and always willing to listen even when things are busy for her!! She’s full of hilarious, tragic, and heart-pounding ideas and AU’s. We always get lit together talking about fics and headcanons and I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. I can’t wait to meet her and I can’t wait to collab with her and Zeta soon, too!!

- @rindartist is absolutely one of my favorite artists of ALL TIME no doubt about it. Rin is so amazing, always making so many beautiful artworks of MikaYuu, and now of other lovely series aswelll! I may not be into GBF but her art of it is just lovely and I suggest everyone to commission Rin if they have the means!!

- @p0isonpez is someone I’ve only seen from afar but I absolutely love her art and posts!! I am so happy to see someone new in the fandom sharing such lovely things and interacting with the rest of us!! you seem so friendly and kind and I hope we can talk more sometime! :D

- @temesasu is such a sweetheart!! We’re just starting to talk a little more, but I am soso happy!! They are such an amazing cosplayer and their ONS cosplayers bring such a big smile to my face. They are beautiful and able to make themselves look like so many different characters!!! They are so talented with makeup, I am in awe!! :D And they are so kind and fun to talk to, and I hope we talk more! Thank you for sharing your cosplays with us, you are amazing! Don’t stop!

- @seraph-star is such a good precious person who makes endless good content!! Omg, their edits are just so awesome!! they always have me bouncing my head along, or completely enraptured and breathless, or laughing!! They are so good at evoking different emotions through video editing and as a very casual video editor myself, I am so impressed with their work!! I also love their memes and art and everything else that they share!!!

- @angeru-artist is a precious PRECIOUS ANGEL who deserves the entire world!!!! Omg, Angeru makes such amazing art, with such expressive characters and cute little attributes!!! I love it when I see their art and I’m so glad that we share a few fandoms together rather than just one. Angeru is really bighearted and she goes through way too much hard times, and I wish I could just take her away to somewhere better!!! One day my friend we will forget about the world and just have fun!!

- @maqui-chan iS ONE OF THE BEST ARTISTS I’VE EVER KNOWN OMFG. her art is iconic and unforgettable!!!! Maqui’s art has always been one of my favorites of all time and I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve commissioned her LOL!! I JUST LOVE HER ART SO MUCH OKAY!?? ITS SO GOOD GO LOOK AT ALL OF HER GLORIOUS CREATIONS! she is so talented and she can create anything, from angst to smut to humor, leave it to Maqui to create amazing things!! And omg Maqui ignited the fire in all of our ShuuNaru hearts amiright!??? GOD her art inspired me so much to the point to where I wrote a ShuuNaru fic and it was so much fun!!! Maqui, thank you for drawing so many awesome things and creating so much for the fandom!! Even if you’ve mostly fallen out of it, your creations are always going to be treasured by me and many other people- you’ve impacted people way more than you know! Thank you for always making me laugh on twitter aswell XD you’re amazing and ily!!! 

OK OK I;M OUT OF STEAM I’VE BEEN TYPING THIS FOREVER OK i could go ON AND ON about even MORE people in this fandom but that would take me literal ages LMAO

TO EVERYONE ELSE, WHO I DIDN’T MENTION BC MY BRAIN IS JUMBLED AND I AM EXHAUSTED: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. DONT STOP CREATING. THE FANDOM IS A FLAMING GARBAGE HEAP SOMETIMES LIKE IT WAS TODAY. But DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU from having a good time, doing what you love, and creating things that you are proud to share!!! And if your heart leads you elsewhere, to a different brand new fandom, I hope you always remember the people you inspired with your work!! I hope you forget the bad memories and always treasure the good ones. I hope that we can be friends and/or that I can continue supporting you no matter where we all end up in the years to come. And if you decide to support me too, I give you my biggest, most heartfelt thanks.

No matter how ridiculous this fandom can get and how much stupid discourse can dampen the mood and disappoint me, I will never let it stop me from loving MikaYuu and OnS and what I do. I will never let it stop me from writing all that my crazy little heart wants. I will continue to write until my passion dies, and when that day comes I will probably cry as I say goodbye and resort to watching from the sidelines as everyone else carries on. I will never forget the fun I had here. These past 3 years have been so impactful already, and I know the future ones will continue to be- with the old friends, with the new friends, and with friends to be made!!

Let’s spread love more often rather than hate. I encourage anyone who feels inclined to make posts (maybe not as long as mine if you dont want XDD) talking about your favorite creators and friends in the fandom, too! Or, if that seems too corny to you, just continue to draw, write, edit, and cosplay! Continue to make people laugh and smile and cry and swoon! Continue to support creators by leaving comments and kudos, by liking and reblogging, by following and commissioning, and sharing and crediting their work wherever you can! Continue to make a difference!

I love you all so much!

[fluffandlove]

Hello my love

Author’s note: Mentioned edit huehueHellooo!

Thank you so much for your sweet words and the prompt ahhhhh this ask keepsmaking me smile uwu 

Summary: Takes place at the end of episode 13 when Takano has Ritsu pinned to the floor. Drunk Ritsu is a lot more daring than usual and decides to get creative when he tries to escape.

Word count: 1k 

His headwas spinning. Damn, the alcohol haddefinitely done a good ass job. Emotions were all over the place; one minuteRitsu was ready to rip Takano’s head off and throw it out the window, the nexthe was crying over him. And now, he was lying on the floor, handspinned on either side of his head, staring up at his boss through teary eyes.

Badum. Rational and emotional voices were having WorldWar III in his cloudy head, because yes, Takanowas telling him to get a grip, but also no,because Takano was telling him to agrip. His moral compass was just gone, he couldn’t think straight anymore.The emotional voice was causing his heart to pound like crazy, while his rational one was hissing at him to move.

“When theperson you like is right in front of you, then of course it’s hard to keepprivate life and business separate, so don’t provoke me because I won’t be ableto stop.”

Oh, Takanowas leaning down. His face was very close. And getting closer. Getting way too close, holy shit, okay, abort, abort!

Okay, they were kissing. Takano’s grip on his wrists was still going strong and Ritsuhad never hated his life more. On one hand, he wanted this more than anything,but on the other hand, he hated himself for wanting this in the first place and needed to push Takano off him.

Someaggressive words blubbered out of his mouth and they were far from polite, but Ritsucouldn’t really care at this point. Takano went a little lower and startednipping at his jaw and neck, making him even more lightheaded than he alreadywas. The alcohol was fuelling the warmth that was currently spreading throughhis entire body like wildfire, his heart had picked up the pace and was nowbeating as if there was no tomorrow and breathing was becoming hard as well.

He had todo something. The grip on his wristsbecame a little looser, probably because Takano was getting carried away, andRitsu racked his useless brain, desperately wanting to come up with an idea toget away. Pushing him away never really worked and neither did yelling at himbecause Takano was stupidly stubborn like that, so he had to get creative.

… Okay,this was definitely the alcohol’sdoing. He never would’ve thought ofdoing this if he had been sober, but desperate times call for desperatemeasures.

Ritsumanaged to free his hands and immediately reached for Takano’s sides, squeezingright below his ribs. To his surprise, it actually worked.

“Wh— Onodera!”

The mosthilarious noise that had ever come out of Takano’s mouth reached his ears andhe was about to laugh at it, but then of course, the other fell right on top of him. Theair was knocked out of both of them, but his drunk body didn’t mind the weight thatmuch, so he peacefully continued to tickle his boss. Ritsu never thought he’dexperience Takano gasping for breath and moving awkwardly on top of him, butwell, there they were.

“O-Onodera,stop, you idiohot!” Takano yelped andcurled in on himself, nose scrunched up in a kind of cute way and slightly redlips curled into a big smile.

His breathylaughter was so out of character that Ritsu wanted to treasure this moment. Hedid a silent prayer that he would remember this the next morning and that hisfuture sober ass would have the balls to pull this stunt again. Was it becauseTakano didn’t want to take advantage of him or was he actually too weak fromlaughter to get away?

Largerhands reached for his own, so Ritsu simply shoved his hands under Takano’sshirt and scribbled his fingers all over his lower back and hips. It was thanksto An-chan he had some experience with tickle fights and that he knew he’d have the upper hand as long as Takanocouldn’t reach his hands.

“Can’tbelieve I never thought of this before,” he mumbled both to himself and thewrithing Takano.

“Ah! I’ll— Shit! Onodora, get off!”

Ritsusimply ignored him, forever grateful that he had the privilege of hearingTakano’s voice reaching such high pitches. He secretly hoped that Yokozawa hadnever heard him laugh like that and the thought of him being the only one inTakano’s life who was allowed to listen to this made him feel beyondvictorious.

He let hishands crawl a little higher so they were positioned at his ribs and startedsqueezing at random spots, listening intently to make sure he hit the rightspots. Turned out that his upper ribs were the most ticklish and he intended touse that valuable information.

Takano wasa sputtering and squawking mess, caged between Ritsu’s legs and arms, faceburied in his chest. His hair was brushing against Ritsu’s nose and it actuallysmelled really nice.

Shit, he was really drunk. And he was really going toregret this later, but it was totally worth it.

“I-will-fucking-kick-your-ass-if-you-don’t-stop,”Takano managed to bring out through his endless stream of laughter and Ritsu didfeel a little intimidated, but his drunk ass didn’t care and dared to reach forhis underarms, which turned out to be an even worse spot. “Ritsu!”

Now that was interesting. Ritsu’s heartskipped a beat upon hearing his name, still not used to Takano calling himthat.

Takanoquickly tried to roll away, but Ritsu’s hands were still under his shirt so hewas sort of dragged along and was the one to end up on top this time. It was alsoprobably because Takano had wrapped his arms around his waist. Again, Ritsu wasdrunk and wasn’t the brightest at the moment.

“Hey, I wastickling you,” Ritsu muttered and let his fingers dance over the skin thatwas still accessible to him.

This time,however, Takano was prepared and tickled him back twice as hard. Ritsuinstantly doubled over, shrieking with laughter because, apparently, he was waymore ticklish and pulled his hands back to shield himself.

A few cursewords escaped and he was pretty sure he called Takano a sore loser, but he didget enveloped in a bear hug afterwards.

“Dummy,”Takano breathed into his ear, which suddenly felt very hot. “I’m glad you’restill playful, though. I missed that.”

Ritsu couldonly hum in response, too tired and flustered to function. He vaguelyregistered getting kissed again for a few seconds before it went back to simplylaying there, safe and sound in Takano’s arms. His lips were curled up into alazy smile and he closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep right there and then.

The next morning was a little less peaceful, though. Takano was looming over himmenacingly, hands ready to attack while Ritsu was uselessly trying to coverhimself up with the sheets and pillow.

Unfortunately,Ritsu couldn’t remember much from the night before and absolutely lost it whenTakano told him that he had resorted to tickling,of all things. The mere thought flusteredhim to no end and he wanted to die more than anything.

“Well, youdid, and you were pretty proud of it, too.”

Ritsu placedthe pillow over his head. “I am so sorry! Please forgive me! No, Takano-san, Iswear— I was drunk! I Nooo, ack! Please don’t tickle me!”

In the end,Takano did run a few fingers through his bangs and whispered that he thought itwas cute, so maybe drunk him hadn’t ruined his life completely. Wait no, he totally did, he shouldn’t be glad about the fact Takano called him cute.

Ugh, life was so unfair. And so was Takano’s laugh. 

[enaasteria]

Answered Asks // 2

Under the cut~~~

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 15th 2017, 9:14:00 pm · 6 months ago Ok, don't answer to this because I will not see it anyway. I was @jamlesspyo and I say was because when you'll see this my blog will already be deleted, personnal reasons. So I want to tell that you are one of the most amazing writer I had the chance to read a story of. You are also the sweetest person so thank you so much. I hope that one you will have enough confidence in yourself because you deserve it so much. Love you and stay healthy

I will answer this bc you might come back and I’ll def miss you. Thank you for all your warm encouragement and help throughout my struggles and I couldn’t have asked for a better reader/friend. Miss you and wishing you all the best!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 20th 2017, 10:59:00 pm · 6 months ago you might not read this for awhile and when you do you don't have to reply, but i just wanted to tell you that all of your writing here is beautiful and amazing! finishing your story is so worth waiting for and i can't wait to read the ending! thank you for sharing your writing!

You might not think this after you read chapter 16. It’s a kind of flargh chapter but needed to be in there so T_____T I’m kinda nervous about it but hopes everyone enjoys and feel it was worth the wait.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 23rd 2017, 1:14:00 am · 5 months ago Freaking heck, you are an amazing and professional writer!!! I'm reading through Apartment 5108 now and I can't think of words even close to satisfactory enough to compliment your writing!! All the best for your writing and future endeavours! :)

Ahhhhhh you are too kind to me. Thank you so much for reading and no worries. please don’t stress over what to write or compliments because I enjoy any kind of feedback tbh. Spazz messages are the best!

@sassyunicorns2​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 8:31:00 am · 5 months ago I won't lose hope! I know you can do it, because you are an amazing writter and you always have great ideas!!! I am here in the other part of the world cheering for you! 🙌 FIGHTING!! 💪👊 P.S.: I'm sorry for the errors.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me and I’m so glad you love this story!

@whosexo​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:57:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 Miss you hope you're doing amazing!!

No words can amount to how much i love you too! I apologize for my year long disappearance. I’m a terrible person. UGH. But I shall blame it on work and daily stress. T___T Hope you are well too, love!

@dream-exo-fantasy said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:58:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 (A side message: I hope you're not stressing too much about writing. Take your time and stay healthy 💕)

You are the sweetest and thank you so much. 2017 was unfortunately the most stress filled year i’ve ever experienced but hopefully the latter end will treat us all better, yeah? T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 12th 2017, 1:46:00 am · 5 months ago wah yay! okay take your time! i (and many others) can't wait to see your masterpiece! 💕

Love you!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 20th 2017, 12:32:00 am · 5 months ago So I was wondering did ahri told sehun about what happened to her while sehun went after jiyul like she drank the juice and was taken to hospital or did sehun already knew or anyone told him bc I think you didn't mention that?..

Soi definitely told him---actually her wrath probably yelled at him and was infuriated with his poor actions. he probably got scolded by everyone tbh.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 29th 2017, 6:07:00 pm · 4 months ago Youre probably busy with apartment 5108 but i really hope you do come back to keepers! Chapter 1 left me on edge and im still eagerly waiting for the next part!! Much love sent your way❤️❤️❤️

I CANT WAIT FOR KEEPERS. I want to write it two ways but I might just do two endings bc I’m a sap and a total angst fest lol

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 8:41:00 pm · 4 months ago enaaaaaaa i miss yoooooouuuuuuuuu ):<

I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO

@unsungthoughts said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 9:19:00 pm · 4 months ago Apartment 5108. I'm beyond in love w this story! I was so into the story to the point where I could literally feel everything, the emotion esp. It is truly an amazing piece of writing. I'm new here (since yesterday and just finished 5min ago) --cont.cont.-- and yet to explore ur other stories, which I will definitely do cz I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH 💕

You make me blush! I’m so happy you enjoyed this story and I’m glad it made you feel things. I hope 16 treats you well and that you’re having a great time on tumblr! welcome, welcome. AND I LOVE YOU TOO

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 15th 2017, 11:47:00 pm · 4 months ago power through love! you got this! 👏🏽👏🏽

I was jamming to POWER as I wrote this chapter. Lord knows I needed the help. orz

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 23rd 2017, 2:25:00 pm · 3 months ago this is kinda random but Charlie puth's Attention reminds me of Red 😅

Imma go listen to this and add it to the playlist! TY ANON!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 24th 2017, 11:31:00 pm · 3 months ago ena, i just wish you can fathom 1/16 of the greatness you've omitted onto the exo fandom. you're writing is absolute perfection. fandom writers are just not appreciated enough! you're art is just as important than the art exo creates. you are able to create a story and a character. just think about that. a person and their life. real or not, you've created a character all of us can relate to in one way or another. i hope you keep finding joy in what you do and never lose this passion. 🌺

I remember reading this message 3 months ago and it made me want to cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for appreciating fanfiction as an art form. I think this writing is such a lost art and people don’t appreciate the time and effort going into a story. But reading this made it so worth it and thank you so much for your kindness!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 7:22:00 am · 3 months ago Omg i just followed you now bcs of apartment 5108 and others too. Geez why i havent discovered you then?! Seriously for me its really hard to find fanfic that matches with my reading style gosh its pretty damn well written and you succesfully made me feel like im the character. You mess my feeling hun'. You did it. Seriously youre one of the best writer i ever known in tumblr. Im looking forward to ch 16 and others too. I hope u doing well!!!! Lots of love from your lovely reader💛

Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s such a huge compliment to see you hold my writing to such a high regard and I hope this next chapter doesn’t disappoint. I’m so glad you like it and please let me know what you think of the rest of the chaps!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 12:45:00 pm · 3 months ago I've been following you for about a year now and DAMN HOW I LOVE YOU. Its been a year since you last updated Apartment 5108 but you still log in to check on your fans. Writers block is an ass but all you need is some inspiration and then you'll be firing away with the Seahri feels. or Ahrun feels. However you decide to ship them. Also Chanyeol is my fav and the fic you wrote called Two killsss meee. THANK YOU! Also, I'm Egyptian. Pretty cool knowing you have international readers eh?

I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait so long for a chapter!!! It’s so amazing how there are international people reading this and I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and also for sending me this comment but ALSO SEAHRI. LIKE THIS KILLS ME AND ITS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 1:56:00 pm · 3 months ago Hey Ena! Just wanted to tell you that I literally open your page every single day (its been 3 months LOL) , just to check if there's any update for apt5108, no rush but that just show how much i adore your work, i just freakin' love your story! I never felt so desperate waiting for the next chapter.. but I believe good things take a long time, and I believe your work could be one of the good things, even better the best thing!! Love, Your biggest fan💕

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I don’t know what to say other than this year has been a mess and a true struggle but I dearly wanted to write this chapter and forced myself to do it and post today. I’m so sorry if it wasn’t worth the wait but hopefully it’s a good continuation to their story T____T

@sehun---addict said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:07:00 pm · 3 months ago Personally i would rather wait until you finish the story and post it in one go bcs waiting game for each chap is pure torture . Much love♡

I wish I could’ve posted it all but 16 nearly killed me to just finish so I hope this is a good chapter to hold you off until 17 T___T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:14:00 pm · 3 months ago In reference to your tag in the previous ask- I think posting the chapters as you finish them would be preferable for me. That way I wouldn't have to wait as long for another update? But I'm wondering if writing it all and posting it generally at one point would be easier on you, so that it could kind of be one and done. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to write this story! You are so incredibly talented and I find it so kind that you take time out of your day to write.

16 is going up soon. I hope you enjoy it and I’m so sorry for the wait. Thank you for your patience and I hope you read with low expectations because I’m a bit nervous about this chapter. It’s excruciatingly long T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 11:46:00 pm · 3 months ago please post 16 when it's finished! that way we can have a new chapter at a time to enjoy!

It’s going up!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 23rd 2017, 4:47:00 am · 2 months ago I know I'm late but about the end of appartment 5018 I'm really curious about Polaris. Will it be build ? Will it be insignifiant ? I really like it so yeah that's what I'm most curious about :)

This will be addressed in 17! :D

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 2nd 2017, 9:53:00 pm · 2 months ago same anon who recommended moondust~~ i have another one for you ena ^^ it's the house we never built by gabrielle alpine <3 best of luck on the story!

Imma check this out after I answer these messages and add it to my playlist! Thank you so much!

@yoruu-gen said to enaasteria: August 21st 2017, 1:01:00 pm · a month ago Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my most favorite fanfic author in existence ❤ Apt 5108 is by far the best thing I've read on this website and I look forward to continue stalking your Google Docs 👀 I'm so thankful that you pulled me out of the writer's block abyss and I hope I won't disappoint in the future lol. Thanks for always being such a great friend and for always dying with me about our biases 😅 Love u lots~~

YOUUUUUU. I LOVE YOU. I also thank you so much for helping me with this chapter. You are such an inspiration and I know you feel like you’re not that great of a writer but honestly---you are one of the two I really, truly, look up to on this platform. I always enjoy your words, your stories, YOUR STRUGGLES with your biases but also so thankful for your friendship. 

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 26th 2017, 9:36:00 am · a month ago Red is my favorite fic and it impacted me so much in a way i can only be thankful. Getting away of a one-side love relationship was really a big choice i should have made before but it's really scary to do so. Reading Red helped me aknowledge what i was doing to myself after denying it for too long and i finally decided to take care of myself for once. So i'm thankful because your amazing way of using words helped me realize i should do what's better for me and no one else. Take care of yourself

Red is honestly one of my favorites too. It was so easy to write (compared to apt) hahaha and although Sehun wasn’t a good character in it, I enjoyed the progression of how real the characters were? Like---this happens in real life and not all things end happily with rainbows and butterflies. It is a struggle to see a person go through something like this but it’s also a testament to their character and their willpower to walk away from it and say when they’ve had enough. I hope you’re doing well, anon.