#sorry to bang on about it its just been really hard and the online discourse about ppl with adhd doesn't help!

[akajustmerry]

the thing that upset me most about the ADHD assessment that I still think about every day was when the assessor asked, as part of the test, how often have I been told I did not care about projects or tasks that I did care about? I legit burst into tears on the spot. literally it was like in that moment I had flashbacks to ALL the times I'd heard that from managers, my teachers, supervisors, family, friends, colleagues, reading it over and over in reports from school - it was one of my greatest anxieties that I brought up in therapy over and over for over a decade. that no matter what I do and how hard I am trying ppl tell me to face that it's not enough. Almost everyone in my life has said some version of this to me. when I was a teenager and I used to be religious I used to pray that God would make me care enough because I assumed people were right when they said I didn't. What else did I have to go on? Even when I stopped being religious, I still hoped whenever I made a new friend or started out somewhere new that this time it wouldn't happen. I'd care enough. Most of the time it still happened. I was told I don't care. Like I said, almost everyone I've ever met has at some point told me I didn't care about something I was actually trying really hard with. So when the assessor asked that, when I got to understand in that moment that actually this problem I thought was Me™ was actually a part of ADHD? I can't even explain, like I can't compare it to anything. But it's been the hardest thing post-diagnosis I guess to realise I allowed myself to treat people's accusations of carelessness like facts. and how it became something I'd assume about myself, "well you can't date because you don't care enough to answer messages" "you shouldn't pitch that article because you don't care enough to write it" "you shouldn't bother making that appointment you won't care enough to remember" and when I've failed or messed up most things there's always this voice like "well it's because you didn't care". and idk this has been the hardest thing to comes to terms with really that yes people were wrong to say that to me and it was bad that I internalised this about myself, but also I have a literal disorder that "not caring enough" or something that presents that way is a permanent feature. I wanna say something hopeful here like about how now I feel better but honestly I'm just super angry and sad atm even though the assessment was months ago. I think when the assessor asked that question i realised so much of what I hate about myself is rooted in this thing I have next to no control over and almost none of it had to be that way. I would never have hated myself the way I do for the reasons I do if anyone had just asked me the right questions or believed me when I said I cared.

[quicksilverlightning]

Number One In Our Hearts

It starts innocuously enough, with All Might being invited to run the yearly Quirkless course on Quirk Warrior.

“It’s been a rough course this year folks – only six runners have made it all the way through, but we’ve got one last contestant to go.”

“That’s right, Ken, and it’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. This year’s Quirkless Run has pulled out all the stops – the jump hang is longer, the wall is higher, and it’s all for this one last runner. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, the legend, All Might!”

___________________________________________

 cinnadust

My favorite thing about All Might running the QLC is that he doesn’t run at all. He strolls through like he’s fucking bored.

 Staples083

his wingspan is enormous

 pipe-fingers

Petition for All Might to run the Quirk course #NumberOneInOurHearts

 GangOrg4n

look at him wave at the audience he’s not even tring lol Absolute Legend

 Red-Phone-Wire

please someone make these announcers losing their shit into a meme

___________________________________________

All Might’s appearance rockets the ratings to unseen heights; the full video goes viral and has over a million views before the weekend is over. It isn’t long before the agency is fielding phone calls from the usual suspects – reporters, journalists, talk shows – but also from some more unusual places.

Toshinori lights up when PR brings him the first batch of requests and immediately agrees to do them all. The second flurry of requests comes before the cooking show segment is finished airing and the floodgates open. Every reality show and competition is clamoring for All Might to guest star.

___________________________________________

Quirky Kitchen makes it an hour-long special. The first half is dedicated to some old American favorites; he chats with the host and audience while slicing tomatoes with charming ease. The audience delights in his culinary prowess, gained over long years of bachelordom, and laughs at his silly anecdotes. Which makes the second half all the more surprising.

With the burden of secrecy lifted, Yagi Toshinori can finally see his way forward. All Might can no longer be a pillar, but, perhaps, Yagi Toshinori can be a support beam. While the live audience munches on potato chips hot from the fryer, Toshinori pulls a simple hardback chair from the set, seats himself, and opens up.

___________________________________________

“Cooking… it’s a lot like my Quirk – my strength is gone, but the reflexes, the training, all of that is still there. I can’t eat what I’m making anymore, but I still know how to make it. And I can still share it with all of you.”

___________________________________________

 explendative

holy shit

 out-of-batt

damn, look at him flipping burgers @9:32 this man is perfect??

 h0m3b0dyJJ

Okay, guys, my dad had a gastrectomy a few years before he died and it’s seriously no joke. My dad lost 63 pounds just a few months after his; it’s hard to keep anything down and you have to eat little meals all the time and there’s just so. much. food. that you can’t have anymore. He was taking like a billion supplements and vitamins just to manage everyday challenges. I can’t even imagine going through that on top of being an active Pro.

 its-ibuki

we must protect All Might at all costs

___________________________________________

He laughs when his students gather round, babbling about the dance show. He ruffles Ashido’s hair fondly.

“You don’t get to Number One without some fancy footwork! Take that to heart, my young students,” he nods sagely, managing to extract himself before he’s late to the staff meeting. He heads down the hall, but not before tossing one last piece of advice over his shoulder.

“And learn at least one social dance!”

___________________________________________

Honestly? I don’t like the hero rankings. I’d prefer they didn’t exist at all. How do you rank acts of heroism? Why is saving one life worth less than saving a hundred? You can’t quantify someone’s worth down to a data point. What’s a hundred lives to a parent that’s lost their only child?

- All Might discusses the ranking system on Hero Discourse

 12,086 notes

 LoreleiFae

another day, another reason to love All Might

 FlipFlapItsATrap

you know, I never really got the hype around All Might. Like, I understood he was number one and super strong and all that, but I never got all the fervor around him. I started to get it after Kamino, but it’s really little moments like these that make me understand why he was number one. why he’s still number one, no matter what the ranking says. #NumberOneInOurHearts

 07ohseven

@FlipFlapItsATrap: I’ve met All Might twice, both before and after Kamino (humblebrag, lol), and he really is just the nicest guy. He never treated anyone like they weren’t worth his time, from teenagers hunting autographs to little kids that wanted a hug. I ran into him again a few months ago at the Mustafu Library – he’d tucked himself away into a corner with a few books and we talked a little about what he was reading (a biography and a fantasy novel, if you were wondering). He asked me to call him Toshi and gave me some movie recommendations.

 07ohseven

@FlipFlapItsATrap: I got off topic there, but what I wanted to say was that you’re right – All Might wasn’t number one because he was a good hero. He was number one because he’s a good person. All Might made me feel safe, but Toshi made me feel comfortable, like talking to an old friend. I hope I get to meet him again one day. #NumberOneInOurHearts

  ___________________________________________

Kizumi Takada @0Window0Knight0

@AllMightOfficial how many people have you kissed?

All Might @AllMightOfficial

@0Window0Knight0 None.

All Might @AllMightOfficial

@0Window0Knight0 But, many, many people have kissed me.

  ___________________________________________

 Peony-crowned

Next time on Hero Theory – is All Might asexual?

 Superxxchar04

@peony-crowned: OTP – All Might X Justice

 Hkoin

@superxxchar04: All Might X A healthy mind body and soul in a long life filled with joy and laughter FTFY

___________________________________________

He’s carrying a stack of grading in one hand and nearly throws the entire pile in the air when Present Mic grabs him in the hallway, begging him to be on his show. After a few moments spent calming him down, Toshinori manages to gather that his guest for the night has had a last minute cancellation. He offers an easy smile and agrees to fill in.

He wasn’t expecting Hizashi to open the phone lines up for questions, but what kind of hero would he be if he couldn’t roll with the punches?

___________________________________________

 Am I on the air?

 That’s right, listener! You are live and you’ve got a question for us?

 Yeah! Well, for All Might. Big fan by the way, you’re the greatest.

 Thank you kindly, young man!

 Right, so I was wondering – do you make more from your hero work, or from merchandising rights? I’ll hang up and listen, if that’s okay?

 Perfectly fine, listener!

 I don’t – didn’t – make any money at all from my hero work. Any bounties have gone to victims or to charity, and I’ve never sent anyone a bill for helping at a natural disaster. Merchandising rights more than cover the agency overhead – I’m not even the highest paid individual at my own company.

___________________________________________

 TexasSmashMe

I’m sorry to inform the hero fandom that Stain was 100% correct – there is only one real hero, and his name is Yagi Toshinori.

___________________________________________

 drrdrrdrrdrr reblogged from nessalee

 [gif set]

 [First image description]

 A young All Might flies through the air, cape billowing like a banner

 [Second image description]

 Silver Age All Might holds up a collapsing bridge pillar with one arm while the other gives a thumbs up.

 [Third image description]

 Golden Age All Might overlooks the city from a skyscraper, bangs ruffling in the wind

 [Fourth image description]

 All Might stands tall, battered and bloody, a single fist raised into the air

 [Fifth image description]

 Yagi Toshinori bounces at the front of the course, posture relaxed, waiting for the starting bell

 [Sixth image description]

 A toddler yanks on Yagi Toshinori's bangs as he smiles indulgently

 [Seventh image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sitting in the bleachers at Yuuei, beaming proudly at the field where his students compete

 [Eighth image description]

 Yagi Toshinori stands, battered and bloody, face turned away, pointing into the distance

 A Hero for Eternity

All Might / Yagi Toshinori

36,875 notes

 CoraBakes

get u a man that can do both

 la-la-lo-li

The one with the kid is so cute <3 Yagi-san would be a great dad

 kainnn9056

pft look at him casually holding up a bridge with one arm hes so extra i love it.

___________________________________________

He's just leaving the school when PR messages him with the request from Hero Monthly magazine. It's usually the kind of thing he would sign off on without a second thought, but his eye lingers on a single word - photoshoot. This wouldn't be like answering questions about his gastrectomy online, or explaining his injury on a talk show - this would be actively showing off the wound that nearly killed him.

Toshinori never expected to retire; hell, he'd never expected to survive. He assumed he would die as he lived - being a hero - and take all his secrets with him. But now...

Now he thinks of young Midoriya with his scarred hand; of his friend Todoroki, who couldn't hide his burn if he wanted to. He thinks of Iida's older brother, learning to walk again. He remembers Best Jeanist may lose his own stomach in the near future and the scar under Aizawa's eye. He remembers hospital wards full of children with amputated body parts and prosthetic limbs and dreams of heroism. He remembers being twelve and Quirkless and thinks again of young Midoriya, to whom Quirkless may as well have been a synonym for disabled.

___________________________________________

 [Image set]

 [Cover image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sits in a crisp white button-up on an angled couch, legs stretched over the cushions, looking at the camera over his shoulder.

 [First image description]

 Yagi Toshinori adjusts a cuff-link, grinning wildly at something off camera, suit jacket flared in the wind.

 [Second image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sits on the edge of a bed, hands together between his open knees. His white shirt is unbuttoned, revealing a  skinny chest and hints of spiderwebbing red.

 [Third image description]

 Yagi Toshinori looks away from the camera shyly, one hand rubbing the back of his head. His scar is viciously red, stretching the full length of his torso before disappearing below the hem of the dark slacks clinging to his skinny hips.

108,792 notes

 vedran-oligarch

All Might looks like someone punched a hole through him and I'm still lusting over his fine ass hot DAMN

 i-am-a-blank-page

@vedran-oligarch: it's the eyes - they're always the same and they're always so intense

 vedran-oligarch

@i-am-a-blank-page: point, but those beautiful hipbones aren't hurting my lady-boner

 IrisEvergarden

I really, really love the last picture. His expression is so sweet and unsure and humanizing - the whole set is, but that one really does it for me <3

 paperclipped-wildflowers

his hair looks so soft

 IrisEvergarden

I just want to give this man a hug, he's so good and pure and brave

 ExpectingDelay

okay, but how how no one mentioned the interview part?!

 If I saved one person when I lost my stomach, it was worth it. If I brought one child home to their parents when I crushed my lungs, it was worth it. If my words have helped someone through a rough patch, if I inspired someone to do better, be better, it was all worth it. There are a great many regrets in my life, but helping others has never been one of them. There is nothing I wouldn’t break; no sacrifice that would make me hesitate.

 That's what heroism is - it's taking these hits so that no one else has to.

this man is incredible.

 flowwithit54

@ExpectingDelay: I'm fucking crying rn we don't deserve All Might OR Yagi Toshinori

___________________________________________

It's almost nine when Ishiyama finds him lazing on the teacher's lounge couch, idly scrolling through his own tag online. In the past few minutes alone, he's found post after post from individuals finding strength from last week's magazine shoot. A teenager with an arm mangled in a villain attack; an office worker embarrassed by needing a wheelchair; a boy with an annoying twitch thanks to an accident with his electricity Quirk. Thousands of messages of love and support, admiration and inspiration. It's almost enough to make him wonder why he'd been so worried about the inevitable. Ishiyama hands him a cup of tea.

"You look happy today, Yagi."

He closes the phone and takes the offered tea with a smile.

"Yeah. I guess I am."

[iamanartichoke]

This is neither eloquent nor organized. I’m very frustrated and I just need to get things off my chest. 

Please do not reblog this post. 

Cut for anti-Ragnarok discourse, pro-Ragnarok discourse, the Ragnarok discourse war, mention of Thorki, and general venting. 

I’m not using tags bc I don’t want this post to show up in them. Very sorry and if any of these things is one of your blacklists, please keep scrolling.

Yesterday, I read a fic.

I was wandering through some of the Thorki content on twitter, and followed a link to one of the big bang fics, bc it was a human AU and das my jam.

I didn’t recognize the author’s name. The fic was extremely well-written, though: lots of feels, beautiful narration, a sweet ending balanced with a lot of sadness. It was one of those fics that gave me a lump in my throat.

I was only going to leave kudos, but then I figured I’d take the extra five seconds and leave a comment, bc we all know how much authors like comments. I mean, I’d rather someone leave a comment than kudos, especially if the fic really affected them.I get it and I gotchu, fam. 

Anyway, so I left a comment and proceeded to click on the author’s profile to see what else they’ve written. As you do.

I recognized their AO3 icon, even though I didn’t recognize the name. I’d seen them around on some Ragnarok wank on tumblr. I went to double-check, and it was the same user, and also they’d blocked me.

I do not know this person. I have never spoken to this person. Yet they’ve gone out of their way to block me, most likely bc I associate with the anti-Ragnarok crowd. This happens to me a lot. I’ve even had a couple of former mutuals unfollow and block me (without saying anything to me) and those felt like punches to the gut.

I understand not wanting to see content that you don’t like or that upsets you. Everyone has the right to block whomever they wish. But I can’t deny that getting blocked like that – by someone I don’t know, let alone interact with – fucking hurts. I know it’s not that deep but I can admit it. It’s a shitty feeling and it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s not really about this particular person at all, although it’s a shame bc they’re a good writer I probably would have followed otherwise. But this entire anti/pro Ragnarok war has gone so far and it’s exhausting. I stayed pretty neutral for as long as I could. 

And here’s the thing. My observations, both from being neutral and also being someone who, despite often being quietly blocked, tends to fly under the radar are this:

The majority of the negativity comes from the pro side.

Look, I side with and agree with the anti side on this one. I can admit, however, that sometimes it gets tiresome to see posts get turned into Ragnarok criticism or tiresome to see more posts on my dash about this that or another thing that sucks about Ragnarok and why. It, like anything, can be tiring.

But I also see that the anti side largely does its best to keep to itself. The pro side complained about the Ragnarok tags, so the anti side made an anti tag, and the pros still come into it to complain. The anti side will post their discussions and criticisms and they largely just circulate within the same group of people. The discussions are almost always criticisms on the source material (ie, the film) and not about anyone who enjoys it.

Now, maybe I don’t see everything. Though I don’t think I’m biased just bc I agree with the anti side – in fact, it was these attributes that made me take a closer look at what they were saying bc maybe they had a point after all. I don’t follow every anti Ragnarok user, but I do follow a lot. I can’t say personal attacks and whatever never happen - but, I hardly ever see them.

That’s not the case with the pro side. I don’t think I follow many from that side, but I see so much negativity from them. It’s like this kind of underhanded negativity that I’m not quite sure how to explain. It’s tonal negativity. 

I mean, sometimes it’s blatant. Name-calling (Loki stans, lackeys, pathetic, delusional, and racist come to mind) is an example. But more than that, there’s this collective tone among the pro side that smacks of condescension and I can’t stand it.

They make fun of the “dissertations” that have been written.

They always include an “lol” or laugh emoji or something to express that they’re not the ones taking this seriously.

They fall back on saying they don’t care about a two-year-old movie.

They’re laughing and making fun and at the same time acting like they’re so above it all.

They want us to just shut up already.

What it comes down to is this: it’s not just a matter of being able to agree to disagree because the pro side actively acts offended that the antis are even having these critical discussions, even if the antis have gone out of their way to not involve the rest of the fandom at all.

(Again, this is not every pro person, but the majority. Tone does matter online, and the overall tone of the pro side is not positive. I say this from a mostly neutral place.)

And here’s a thing about “oh my god, it came out two years ago, get over it!” Yeah, it came out two years ago. So fucking what? You guys are still engaging with it, via fics and headcanons and art. How old the movie is doesn’t matter when you’re having fun with it, but when someone wants to engage with it in a (valid) critical way that you don’t like? No. That’s unacceptable. That’s pathetic. That’s being a lackey. Get over it.

Even writing this, I know that things are much worse for others than they are for me. I get stealth blocked; others are called out by name in public posts, receive anon hate, and are actively targeted.

It’s just, this shit is so fucking toxic to this fandom and it honestly needs to stop. Both sides need to not only stop engaging one another, but also stop acknowledging one another. We get it: you either like the movie or you don’t.

Let people do their own thing. Don’t be fucking obnoxious. If you disagree and genuinely want to talk about it, then try to remember there’s a person on the other side of the screen and be civil. If you disagree and don’t want to talk about it, then just fucking don’t.

If you see a post you disagree with, scroll past. And, yes, block the person if you need to (and sometimes it might be me that needs blocking and I recognize my hurt feelings are my own personal problem, not whoever else’s).

There are a lot of movies in the MCU that are not perfect. (Btw, it baffles me a little to get hated on for my stance on Ragnarok, when I am so much more vocal [and emotionally invested] in hating the Russos and IW/Endgame – but, whatever.) There are a lot of interpretations of characters that are different. There are a lot of people who project their own identity or issues or whatever onto any particular character that resonates (and that’s okay!) and there are a lot of people who don’t project but still identify with a particular character (and that’s okay, too).

Stop judging whether someone is a “real” fan of a character/franchise or not. Just because someone isn’t engaging with the source material in the way you are, and just because they don’t see it in the same way that you do, does not make them wrong. (Yes, this applies to the pro side, too. None of them are wrong or less valid for enjoying and even stanning the movie.) It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else here. 

Acting otherwise is honestly going to kill this fandom. Because it bleeds over. Fics will have less readers, bc they don’t want to interact with something posted by someone they dislike (or who blocked them). There’s less sharing of things like art and headcanons and content. People unfollow and block each other, people are having to watch what they say, people are losing friends (and potential friends) bc they may be a great person but they don’t agree with you about fucking Ragnarok.

I came to tumblr bc it was the only place where not only could I find other people who loved Loki as much as I did, but it was the only place where I could express that. Express it in fic, in headcanons, in meta. Being creative and starting dialogues and just interacting. I wish we could get that vibe back.

I wish none of this bothered me so much.