#sorry to post this but my dudes... im concerned i was taught wrong

[love-belle]

lo mein kayamat tak hua tera !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which everyone knows that they want each other, except for them and it's time that they change it.

or

for when you find out forever waala love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // f1 x platonic!reader // aditya roy kapur x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - this is for my desi f1 fans and desi f1 fans only ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by adityaroykapur, lilymhe, maxverstappen1 and 2,681,561 others

yourusername where is my munda kukkad kamaal da

11,986 comments

username the caption is so real like where u @

username SHE'S BACK IN INDIA LET'S GOOO

username Y'ALL PLEASE TELL ME U SAW HER IG STORY 😭😭

-> username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING

-> username not to mention aditya ALSO posted a girl on his story and she suspiciously looked like y/n ☝️☝️☝️☝️

-> username i'm going feral over this someone call the twitter detectives

username her being back in india means we shamelessly get adityay/n crumbs and im STARVING

username in love with u hello ma'am how r u real

username tere saath saath aisa koi noor aaya hai

-> yourusername don't test me i will cry and marry u on SPOT

username oh i am SO ready for the amount of content we're gonna get from her like winter break!y/n is actually my roman empire

username waiting for aditya and her to just be fucking oblivious in the comments 🙄☝️

landonorris giggling

-> yourusername i will giggle ur ass CHUP ( shut )

-> username 😭😭😭 please free my boy he has done nothing wrong

username 4ever giggling at the fact that aditya was the first person y/n hugged after her podium and they ALMOST kissed like 😭😭

-> username my roman empire fr like i genuinely felt like i was intruding on something

username no one understands her like i do we're the same people and i will make friendship bracelets by braiding our intestines together

-> username i am sorry was that extreme

-> yourusername a bit but i like your commitment

username daniel i expect u to give us updates EVERY HOUR i need to know if these bitches are hopeful or hopeless

danielricciardo i hope you know that adi is currently contemplating what to write and giggling

-> yourusername OH !

-> adityaroykapur this is why i said no to you being in a bollywood film

-> username PLEASE OMG 😭

username i love the fact that so many drivers accompany y/n to india simply bc 1) they want to annoy her 2) they want to annoy aditya 3) they want to star in a bollywood movie so BAD

-> username they're pure of dumbasses your honour

username f1 grid in india where the FUCK is my indian gp ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username howling bc girlie would have her munda kukkad kamaal da if she just became more social

-> yourusername i do not appreciate being called out like this excuse u

username cannot wait for y/n to bully the entire grid into wearing traditionals 🤞🤞🤞

adityaroykapur i love taking pictures of you 💗

adityaroykapur wdym someone prettier than yourusername exists

adityaroykapur wdym i can't keep staring at her posts forever

-> username DUDE GET UP 😭😭😭

adityaroykapur you look leng in a lehenga

-> yourusername thank u :))

-> sidmalhotra actually there's no "leng" in "lehenga"

-> adityaroykapur 😐😐

-> username someone lock away sid PLEASE

-> username my biggest concern is who the fuck taught aditya what leng means 😭😭😭

-> username my bet's on lando ☝️☝️☝️

adityaroykapur glad you liked the jhumkas ❤️

-> yourusername wore them the entire day ❤️

-> username and i'm gone

adityaroykapur chand theri roshni ka halka sa ek saya hai ( the moon is just a slivery shadow of your light )

-> yourusername hayeeee

-> charles_leclerc DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE

-> username omg

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, vickykaushal09, lewishamilton and 2,416,899 others

adityaroykapur black and white

10,729 comments

username i know who he did this for

username oh

username screaming sir why are u so

username OH MY GOD

username he posted this for y/n and y/n only y'all go home

username one chance ☝️☝️☝️

lewishamilton target audience reached 👍

-> adityaroykapur i owe you one 👍

-> username howling at this interaction

username i know that he got this idea off someone from the grid and i know exactly who he exactly got this from

-> username your case here 🎤🎤🎤 georgerussell63

-> username LMAO 😭😭

username giggling oh my god

username PLEASE I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH

georgerussell63 plagiarism

-> adityaroykapur you told me to post this ???

username screeching no one's doing it like him

username i love how his acc is just promos and stuff and then this thirst trap for y/n and y/n only likee

-> username my man's dedicated idgaf

username cannot wait to witness y/n have a mental breakdown in the comments over this 😭😭😭😭

sidmalhotra as y/n says "what's the square root of 64"

-> adityaroykapur 8

-> kiaraaliaadvani ATE !!!!!!!

-> username i love stupid men and their chronically offline selves

sidmalhotra this why you had to go to the beach itni subha ( early morning )

-> adityaroykapur i brought you breakfast chup ( shut )

-> username soulmates 🤞🤞🤞

usernsme live love laugh aditya roy kapur

yourusername woah

-> adityaroykapur thank you ???

yourusername you're sooooooo

-> adityaroykapur ???

-> yourusername hey bhagwan ( oh god )

yourusername be my munda kukkad kamaal da ???

-> adityaroykapur is this your way of asking me out

-> yourusername idk is it working

-> adityaroykapur absolutely, i'll see you at 7 meri jaan ❤️ ( my life )

-> maxverstappen1 what just happened

-> landonorris did they just

-> pierregasly oh my god

-> charles_leclerc it was that easy ?

-> georgerussell63 we just had to get him to post shirtless pictures. wow.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

yourusername added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

adityaroykapur added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by adityaroykapur, landonorris, kiaraaliaadvani and 2,528,915 others

yourusername he's my sataaye manaaye rulaaye hassaye all in one ( i don't know how to explain it, these are lyrics from a song "maahi ve" and basically it says that he troubles her, makes it up to her, makes her cry and makes her laugh, so like all in one )

tagged adityaroykapur

13,628 comments

username SCREECHING OH MY GOD

username im cryint i love tjem os mucj

username OHFJJSAJSJHHSS THIS IS INSANE I TELL U

username i prayed for this

username no bc i KNEW it the stories gave you AWAY y'all are not SLICK

username i saw them ask each other out that's crazy to think about actually

landonorris still mad i wasn't notified in advance

-> yourusername stay mad

-> landonorris you don't GET it i had to find out through COMMENTS

username in love with them oh my god

username they're my roman empire ur honour

username oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username the maahi ve reference imma SCREAM

username the way they're literally the it couple oh my god

sidmalhotra finally ‼️‼️‼️

-> yourusername no thanks to u

-> sidmalhotra badtameez ( disrespectful )

kiaraaliaadvani don't listen to sid, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES FOR YOU BOTH TO GET TOGETHER OMGGGGG

-> yourusername KI I LOVE U SO MUCH WE CAN FINALLY GO ON DOUBLE DATES LIKE WE PLANNED ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username sid and aditya on a double date obviously with kiara and y/n

-> username need to see this happen immediately for mental health purposes

username everyday i wake up and see some shit like this. why does the universe hate me

username i wish y'all blocked me before posting this (IM SO HAPPY FOR U OH MY GOD)

username me preparing to spot aditya at EVERY gp this year bc i know my boy is not strong enough to leave y/n for more than 27 mins

maxverstappen1 he breaks your heart, i'll nail gun his.

-> yourusername alright edge lord no more wednesday for u

-> username CRYING 😭😭😭

username im so HAPPY y'all don't GET it i've been waiting for this for YEARS

username i screeched and my baby cousin woke up y'all im NOT playing around

username since no one's gonna ask the important question here I WILL

-> username what the story behind aditya and the jhadu photo ( broom )

-> yourusername he was trying to make a point and said that if acting doesn't work out he can start a cleaning service

-> adityaroykapur gaadi waala aaya ghar se kachara nikaal

-> yourusername no we cannot get rid of lando and charles

-> landonorris fuck you

-> username NO BC WHY ARE THEY CATCHING STRAYS AT EVERY POINT

adityaroykapur PRETTY word is real and it belongs to her and her only

adityaroykapur a living angel

adityaroykapur making my pupils dilate

adityaroykapur prettiest 💗💗💗

adityaroykapur my phone just did a backflip

-> username lord when will it be me

adityaroykapur i have NEVER made you cry

-> yourusername false u called me a daayan yesterday when i had my hair down ( witch )

-> adityaroykapur BECAUSE YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE

-> yourusername WOOOOOOOW.

adityaroykapur we're cute together or whatever 🥰

-> yourusername whatever 🤨

-> adityaroykapur we're cute together 🥰 ****

-> yourusername perfect 🤞

adityaroykapur all i'm saying is, it would be a GOOD cleaning service

-> yourusername never quit your day job we'd go broke so FAST 😞

-> adityaroykapur what happened to "sheesh mahal na mujhko suhaye tujh sang sooki roti bhaaye" ( basically the hindi version of "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings" )

-> yourusername that's very rich coming from u considering ur roti looks like a different country every time

-> adityaroykapur wow.

username in love u don't get me

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, sidmalhotra, lewishamilton and 2,368,257 others

adityaroykapur i promise to take photos of you forever if it means i get to be by your side. lo mein kayamat tak hua tera ( i'm yours till the end of the world )

tagged yourusername

13,178 others

username im crying btw

username GOING FERAL OVER THE CAPTION WHAT THEBFUCK KK

username i audibly gasped i want what they have ‼️‼️‼️‼️

username THEY'RE MY PARENTS EVERYONE SHUT UP

username taylor swift writes songs about them btw

-> username ARIJIT SINGH writes songs about them more like 😭😭

username forever cackling bc sis really asked him out in the comments section

-> landonorris she got no game 😞❌

-> yourusername still pulled a bitch before u

-> landonorris she called you a BITCH adityaroykapur

-> yourusername WATCH UR BACK AT TURN 1 IN BAHRAIN I WILL ANNIHILATE U

-> adityaroykapur ...

username crying bc we're gonna get aditya at EVERY gp like im not even wrong bc that man's down BAD for her

-> username simply existing gf 🤝 obsessed bf

username god i see how kind u have to others

username alright y'all time to hug a tree 362 kmph

username O MAAHI LYRICS I AM DEAD I AM GONE I AM DECEASED I AM DECOMPOSING I AM SIX FEET UNDER

sidmalhotra happy for you both 🙄🙄🙄

-> sidmalhotra 🥰🥰🥰*****

-> yourusername stay mad bc i stole ur bf ☝️🙄

-> adityaroykapur did i unintentionally start another fight ⁉️

sidmalhotra finally no more talks about how much you want her 🥳🥳🥳

-> adityaroykapur that was CONFIDENTIAL

-> yourusername tell me more ☺️ sidmalhotra

username AND WE ALL CHEERED FINALLLLY

username the it couple of bollywood AND f1 i said what i said

username need me a guy who will post me like this or wtv 🙄🙄🙄🙄

yourusername bold of u to assume i'm leaving after the world ends 😕

-> adityaroykapur we'll haunt sid together 🤝

-> yourusername OMGGGGG YES

-> sidmalhotra MEINE KYA KIYA ( what did i do )

yourusername why do u always catch me off guard i look so bad 😭

-> adityaroykapur jhoothi you look perfect ❤️ ( liar )

yourusername i love u

-> adityaroykapur i love you so much more

-> oscarpiastri we get it MOVE ON

-> yourusername 😐😐😐

-> username LMAOOOOO

username i'm in awe WE'RE FINALLY HERE PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[sharkiestim]

You know truscum and transmeds are the same thing right?

Truscum: Believing you need dysphoria to be trans

Transmed: Believing you need a desire to transition to be trans

 So all transmeds are truscum, but not all truscum are transmeds. This is what both tucutes and truscum have told me… I can see a thin line. Was I not told right? Anyone can come in my inbox or dm and tell me if they are kind, preferably off private, I won’t be posting about this anymore, I have a discourse blog for that. It’s @sharkdrama

[smutsonian]

f*** being friends

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve is in love with his friend but he doesn't want to ruin their friendship

Warnings: mentions of copulation, making out (it gets heated), jealous steve, awkward steve, lil bit of angst, brief mentions of being bullied (verbally), mentions of game of thrones, i’m hoping for this to be really sweet and fluffy that y’all get diabetes in a healthy way, writing mistakes bby

Characters: Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Erik Lehnsher (xmen), Cisco Ramon (the flash)

Word Count: 6.5k yikes

an: i have no idea where those characters came from but they’re there. also, hi! im posting something lmao shocker :o ctto of this picture

masterlist

The supersoldier who woke up in the wrong century would’ve been going through a whole lot of hell alone if it wasn’t for the cute scientist who was considerate and patient with him in helping him adjust to his new surroundings after the time-hopping incident. Fury took him to the tower that was owned by the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist (as he likes to be called) after he tried to run through the streets of the modernized city of New York with his bare feet and that’s where he met her.

 The female scientist contrasted Tony Stark so much that it made Steve wonder how Tony even managed to get someone like her to be his assistant scientist. Steve didn’t have to wonder about how you were able to handle Tony because he was a hundred percent sure that you will be able to get along with anyone because you’re… you.

 While Tony was an obnoxious guy who likes mocking him, you were nothing but sweet to him. Going out of your way to make him feel comfortable and show him how time has changed the past. You taught him everything he should know and anything he wanted to know and in return, he bestowed you stories from his time before, during, and after the war and the supersoldier serum. 

 When you told him embarrassing stories about Tony and confessed that you sometimes get vexed by your boss that resulted in you ‘accidentally’ making one of his suits dance crazily while he’s in it, you and Steve shared a laugh and thus, started a genuine friendship.

Tony groans dramatically when he sees Steve giggling at his assistant while they’re making something in the kitchen. He walks over to them and knocks on the counter to catch the pair’s attention before giving them a faux smile. “As much as I love seeing capsicle giggling like a halfwit, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop stealing my assistant. We’re in the middle of discovering what must be the most important information in the world and you’re out here stealing her for shits and giggles.” Tony looks at the captain with a stern look before noticing your dramatic eye roll. “Hey-” he was about to chastise you when you cut him off.

 “Tony, learning how to bake chocolate chip cookies isn’t the most important thing in the world but I admire you for asking me for help for the sake of Morgan. But please, stop being so dramatic.” you chuckle at the end of your complaint. Tony bites his lip as Steve looks at you with such fondness without you even noticing it and he doesn’t know if he should feel sorry for the love-struck captain or be annoyed at how stupid and juvenile he was being. Just ask the girl out, goddammit.

 You turn to look at Steve before sighing, “Well, duty calls.” you shrug and smile at Steve when he reaches a hand towards your face to fix a stray hair away from your face. You stood frozen, staring at his ocean eyes that were staring right back at you before he started blinking and looked away. “Alright. I’ll see you later?” he asks as he looks back at you and you nod at him with a smile before walking past Tony. Tony rolls his eyes at Steve before pointing at him. “You clearly have it bad for her, cap. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just ask her out?” 

 Steve gawks at Tony, his face tinting a tiny shade of red before shaking his head. “What are you talking about? We’re just really good friends, Stark. I don’t even want to have this conversation with you.” Steve’s jaw clenches before he too walks out of the kitchen.

 Good friends my ass. Tony shakes his head in disbelief, smirking to himself. This is going to be fun.

  Some members of the team were in the kitchen, elbows on the counter, and tired out of their minds. Sam has his head on the counter, Natasha was taking a bite out of her sandwich every now and then, and Clint was slurping the milk from his cereal bowl. There was a mission the day before and everyone was showing how much it took a lot out of them.

 Y/N was putting whipped cream on top of the iced chocolate drink she made when Steve walked in. His face showed how tired he is but it quickly lightened up when he saw Y/N grinning at him with the iced chocolate. Steve made his way towards her and sat beside her, watching her put colorful sprinkles on the whipped cream before sliding the glass in front of him.

 “There ya go! Made with love and all.” she laughs at her own joke and Steve grins at her before taking a sip, earning a mustache made of whipped cream. “So good” Steve closes his eyes as he moans dramatically, making Y/N laugh even more. When Steve looks back at Y/N, she chuckles at him before making a motion towards the space between her nose and her upper lip.

 “What?” Steve smiles as he tilts his head to the side.

 “Here, let me…” Y/N gets a tissue before leaning towards Steve’s face and gently wiping the whipped cream off his face. God only knows how much I want to kiss his whipped cream covered lips. 

 Steve stared at her face, heart fluttering at the closeness of her face and gulps when he sees her looking back at his eyes. Those eyes will be the death of me. I wonder if she’ll look at me like that when I’m giving it to her good. 

 He watches as her eyes flutter towards his lips and then back to his eyes before he’s leaning closer to her face, his lips almost brushing against hers. Fuck.

 A bang interrupted them and they quickly pulled away from each other, awkwardly trying to compose themselves. Bucky seats beside Sam who was glaring at him. “You just have to stroll in here, you armless shithead.” 

 “Not cool, dude.” Clint chuckles before dumping his bowl at the sink. Natasha just sighs before taking another bite off her sandwich. 

 Y/N’s ears perked up when Sam’s words registered to her brain. Armless shithead. 

 She turns to look at Bucky before cursing under her breath. “Oh gosh, Bucky. I’m so sorry! Your arm reattachment scheduled this morning completely slipped out of my mind. Oh god. I’ll bring it up here now. Just give me a sec.” Y/N stumbles out of her chair, earning a concerned look from Steve who held his hand out just in case the fidgeting scientist falls. Y/N successfully runs out of the kitchen unharmed, leaving two supersoldiers confused.

 “What’d I do?” Bucky asks Sam who just shakes his head at him. Nat did the same thing as Sam did when Bucky turned to look at her. Steve still stared at the door that Y/N left in, thinking about how he almost kissed her and realizing how stupid he was. He could have ruined their friendship right then and there. She was so jumpy and awkward right after too. She probably got spooked by his actions. 

 “Why the constipated face, capsicle.” As if he wasn’t suffering enough, Tony enters the kitchen with a smug smile. “Barnes ruined his chances of kissing the little scientist.” Sam scoffed as Bucky gasped. “Oh shit. Sorry, punk. I didn’t know you were making moves already. Thought you would never do it. Sorry for ruining the moment. You’ll get—” Bucky’s teasing words were cut off by Steve’s booming voice. “Will you all just stop it?! We’re just friends. Stop pushing it. I don’t see her that way so please, just stop. We’re friends and that’s that.” Just as Steve’s speech was ending, a flustered Y/N walked in with a huge box. She walks over to Bucky and starts fumbling with his arm.

 Steve curses under his breath as he realized that she just heard his ‘confession’ and it’s not exactly what he wanted her to know. It’s exactly the contrary to what he’s feeling. He wants to be more than just her friend but he didn’t have the guts to do something about it. He also didn’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship that they already have. Relationships are too complicated and he couldn’t risk losing you just because of his stupid feelings. 

 “There! All done!” Y/N smiles at Bucky and Steve finds himself yearning for her to smile at him like that every-fucking-time. Bucky thanks her and winks at her that made Steve’s insides boil with something he didn’t have an idea about. Y/N picks the box up before walking over to Tony who was standing beside Steve. Right before she gets in front of Tony, she slips and before she knew it, her face was falling down the floor- only to be stopped mid-air as firm arms found their way to her waist and her shoulders.

 She was hoisted up and was met with Steve’s face just inches away from hers. “I got you.” Steve smiles.

 Y/N coughed and pulled herself away, making Steve’s smile flutter ever so slightly. “Umm, thanks. I gotta get back to work.” She smiles at him before turning towards Tony and starting a topic about their current topic about using vibranium as something he didn’t have an idea about. He sighed in disappointment as he realized how he managed to fuck up his friendship with her by trying to preserve it. How does that even happen to someone?

 “Is it just me or does the supersoldier serum affect the brain badly?” Sam pipes up after Y/N leaves the room to go back to the lab. Bucky elbows his ribs in response while Tony laughs at Sam’s words.

 “It’s just Steve who’s being an idiot. Don’t drag me into his lack of brain cells” Bucky muttered under his breath. Tony pats Steve on his shoulder before leaning up to his ear to whisper something.

 “Just friends, huh?”

Steve was nervous that you would bail on your weekly movie nights with him in his room where the two of you will watch movies that he missed while he was frozen. His nerves were getting the best of him until you knocked on his door only to greet him with a huge smile and arms full of snacks that were almost covering your face. “Movie night?” Steve swore that your giddy voice sounded like angels singing.

 Steve felt his heart flutter at the sight before shaking his head back to reality and easily grabbing the snacks out of your arms and setting it down on the foot of his bed. You skipped over to the bed and plopped yourself on it before looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow. 

“So… What are we watching tonight?” The anticipation in your voice made Steve smile before scratching the back of his neck.

 “Can we continue the game of thrones?” He asks and Y/N thought that him blushing was the cutest thing in the world so she couldn’t do anything but to nod. I mean, how could anyone say no to that face?

 You opened up a bag of chips while Steve tinkered with the tv attached to the wall in front of the bed. As the opening song started playing, Steve hopped on the bed beside you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn before laying on his back beside you and scooched closer to you. You smiled at that and laid your head softly on his shoulder which he seemed to like because he chuckled before stealing a piece of chip in your bag. You playfully glared at him as he only booped your nose in return, laughing when some powder from the chips were left on the tip of your nose. He leaned closer to your face, pausing for a while before blowing the powder residues on your nose. You felt your heart skip for a moment before turning back to the tv as the show continued to play.

 The room was dark with only the tv being the source of light but it’s enough for you to watch Steve’s every reaction to the show that you’ve already watched yet willing to rewatch it as long as it was with Steve. He was in one of the earlier episodes where Danaerys was betrothed to Khal Drogo. The tv was playing the scene where Danaerys’ handmaid was teaching her how to make love to Drogo. Your body warmed up at the scene, remembering how graphic this series can be and turned slowly to see Steve’s reaction. You expected him to be fidgety and awkward but he seemed to be really focused at the tv screen so you turned your head back towards the screen and continued to watch.

 Steve was trying his best to not have a panic attack right then and there. The scene was making him flustered and the effects of it were going straight to his crotch. He saw you move your head to watch his reaction but he did his best to act nonchalant and he was so relieved when you looked away from him that he almost cried. He thanked all the gods when the scene ended but his eyes widened when the screen showed Khal Drogo entering the tent butt naked and heading straight to Danaerys. When the man started ramming into her, Steve knew that he was fucked.

 Y/N nostrils flared in embarrassment as she watched the screen as it showed a very erotic scene. She turned her head sneakily to see Steve’s reaction once again but was surprised to see that he was already looking at her, their faces just an inch apart. 

 She looked at Steve’s eyes and was shocked to see that they were darker than usual, pupils dilated and his breathing erratic. She stared at him for a brief second before asking if he’s okay, genuinely concerned for the supersoldier. 

 “Steve, are you ok—” Y/N thought that she could’ve died right then and there when Steve closed the space between their lips and kissed her hungrily. Steve’s lips were so soft against her and when he plunged his tongue into her mouth, she almost came right then and there. This was how she’s deeply, madly, and hopelessly in love with the man. 

 Steve couldn’t explain the feeling he felt when she kissed him back. He could almost hear the wedding bells ringing when she moved her hands to caress both sides of his face. He placed the bowl of popcorn beside her head before placing his hands on her waist, easily manipulating her body so he was on top of her as he continued to kiss her lips like a starved animal.

 Steve felt her hands traveling up to his hair as she arched her back. Steve’s eyes went to the back of his head when she felt her grinding against his hard-on and he was thankful that her mouth was on his so she was able to swallow his moans. He responded by grinding his hips down against hers, earning a tug on his hair and a whine from her lips that made his eyes snap open in shock. Shit. 

 Steve stumbled as he quickly pulled away from her, knocking the popcorn by her head off the bed and making popcorn scatter all over the floor. “Shit” Steve looks at the mess on the floor and back to you, lips plumper after his assault. “Shit” he says again. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers. “Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry! I didn’t—” He cuts himself by cursing at himself again and again.

 Y/N pushes the hurt she’s feeling at the moment. What was he about to say? That he didn’t mean any of it to happen? 

 She places a hand on Steve’s left cheek and it seemed to immediately calm him down. “Breathe, Steve. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.” You smile at him which he returns sadly.

 “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean for that to happen, I was just… I don’t know what got into me.” Steve stuttered, almost crying. That’s not how he wanted it to come out.

 Y/N looks at Steve with a faux smile. Ouch. Saw that one coming but it still hurt like a motherfu—

 “I shouldn’t have done that.” Steve shakes his head. 

 Y/N gives Steve an understanding nod. And here I thought things couldn’t get uglier.

 “I mean… I don’t want to ruin what we have. Our friendship, I mean. I love being friends with you and I love what we have and I don’t want to ruin that because of me.” Steve tries to explain. Keyword: tries. “I mean you’re obviously the most gorgeous person in the world but I don't want to lose what we have just because of a kiss or a ruined relationship, do you get what I’m saying?” Steve looks at you hopefully. Clearly, he’s not very good at explaining things but you nod nonetheless.

 “I totally understand. I mean… I’ll be more than fine to try things out with you but I understand where you’re getting from. I wouldn’t want to lose what we have either. I guess being friends is the best idea for you.” Steve flinches at your words. Your tone was sweet but your words were hurting him and it’s his own fault too so that just frustrated him even more. 

 “How about we forget about what just happened and stay as good friends, deal?” Y/N gives him a friendly smile. How the hell is he supposed to just forget about what happened. That was easily the best thing that’s happened in his life and he drove the woman he loves the most to tell him to just forget about it.

 “Deal.” Steve smiles. I am a fucking idiot. I managed to put myself in the ‘friendzone’. 

 Y/N nods and starts to head for the door before looking over her shoulder towards Steve.

 “Goodnight, Steve.” And then she was gone.

 Steve’s smile fell and he turned around to study the mess left behind. Popcorn all over the floor, game of thrones playing on the screen, and a very hard cock under his pants.

 Fuck

That was it for Steve. He knew he fucked everything up when he barely saw you and talked to you anymore. When you no longer made him the usual iced chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles that you always made him, it broke his heart. But what really broke his heart is when you started skipping out on your movie nights with him. He’s beginning to think that you’re spending extra hours in the lab with Tony just to avoid him and it did horrible things to his heart.  Y/N cursed at the turn of events. She hated how the movie night incident turned out but she was ready to make things go back to normal but of course, Tony decided to overload her with work. She didn’t blame him though. They were at the peak of their research and they’re almost done with it and Tony wouldn’t stop until they finished. Y/N stayed to help her mentor/boss until they got to finish the work. She couldn’t deny the fact that she too is excited about the outcome of the research so she kept herself busy.

  She saw how it affected Steve though. She saw how his face would light up every time he would catch her taking quick snacks in the kitchen but she would watch that handsome smile disappear from his face when she waved at him to say goodbye and run back to the lab just to continue on her work. She knew that Steve being Steve, he would blame himself for it so she made a little bit of time to explain how things are currently hectic in the lab.

  Steve felt a little bit of weight lifted from his shoulders when she approached him after training one afternoon. She handed him his shield as she talked about a few changes and improvements she did here and there. He was so happy that she was finally talking to him again that he couldn’t help but just admire the way her lips moved and her eyes looked at him with a glint of excitement as she talked about his shield.

  “Steve?” Her smooth voice brought him back to reality and he smiled at her adoringly, patting her shoulder awkwardly before thanking her for the improvements she did on his shield. “I just want to point out that I’m not avoiding you.” Y/N bit her upper lip as she looked at Steve shyly. Steve thought that she could never be more adorable than this.

  “Tony and I are working on this research and we’re both really working our asses off. We’re so hellbent on finishing the research so we’re always working on it over time. I just… I don’t want you to think that I’m avoiding you.” She finished with a breath. 

  Steve looked down at her, processing her words before breaking off into a grin. He leaned down to give her a hug which she gladly returned before pulling away. Steve cursed at himself for immediately missing the way she felt against him. 

  Steve lets out a loud sigh before smiling at her. “Thank, god. I thought I scared you away.”

  “Never” she grinned before looking down at her wristwatch. “Well, I gotta head back to the lab” she gives him a smile before offering him a handshake, saying “Friends?”

  Steve bit the insides of his cheeks as he remembered the position he put himself in. 

  He gripped her small hand with his big ones before nodding. “Friends.”

  Y/N thought that the day she and Tony get to finish their research would never come but here’s Tony now, planning a party for the achievement. He’s also telling you something about introducing and showing you off to an old friend of his that he invited. Max Eisenhardt, you heard Tony say. He was a fellow scientist who specialized in magnets and Tony can’t wait to show him your research about vibranium.

Steve finds Y/N in the kitchen a few hours before the party starts, making her famous iced chocolate milk. “Do my eyes deceive me or is that my most favorite chocolate drink in the world?” Steve walks over to her, placing his elbows on top of her head before placing his chin on them. “Congratulations on finishing the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” He sincerely says and he watches her duck under his arms and looks at him with a playful smile. “Thank you, Steve.” She makes a move to fix her hair before looking back at the glass. “And yes. This is your favorite drink” she winks at him.

“Well, not to be presumptuous or anything but… is it for me?” Steve bites his bottom lip as she pretends to think about it before nodding. “Of course, it is! It’s been so long since I made you one so I figured I’ll make you one before the party starts.” She grins at him before handing him the glass which he gleefully takes before drinking it, not minding the whipped cream that stained his nose and his lips. 

 Steve’s heart leaps in joy when he hears her laugh at him before handing him a towel. “Clean yourself up, captain. I’ll see you later at the party.” She waves at him before leaving the kitchen. Steve would’ve preferred it if she was the one wiping his face but he settled with cleaning his face on his own.

You settled on wearing black slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a pair of black flats. Tony mentioned something about introducing you to his scientist friends so you figured that a formal attire would suffice. You were barely starting on fixing your hair when Tony barged in. He took a quick look at you before smirking and dragging you out of your room and into the elevator. 

 “What the hell, Mr. Stark. I wasn’t done—”

 “You already look amazing. Cap will definitely lose it.” Tony smirks at you and before you could even say something, the elevator door opens. He gently pushes you out of the elevator before pulling you towards a middle-aged man who smiled at you immediately when he saw Tony dragging you towards him.

 “That’s Max Eisenhardt” Tony whispers to your ear before pushing you towards the guy. You stopped yourself from falling onto Max and he was nice enough to steady you by placing both of his hands on your arms. “You okay?” He gently spoke with an accent you couldn’t quite name.

 Y/N cursed at Tony in her mind for putting her in this situation. She manages to give the man a smile before nodding flusteredly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Max. I’m Y/N. Mr. Stark’s lab assistant.” Y/N offered a hand for him to shake but he quickly shook his head. 

 “No need for formalities. Call me Erik or Magneto.” He reached for your outstretched hand and pulled on it until you fell onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around you before chuckling and pulling away. You gave him an awkward smile before nodding and sneakily walking away when he and Tony started talking about magnets and whatnot.

 Steve’s blood boiled when he watched the interaction between one of Tony’s friends who calls himself Magneto and Y/N. The way he shamelessly grabbed you and flirted with you made Steve think of horrible things on how to dismantle a man’s arm. He hated this feeling. He was so sure that he’s jealous. He knows that he’s jealous.

 Tony somehow managed to push you towards Magnet—or was it Magneto? Max? Erik?— every time he would find you hiding from the guy and you managed to sneak away every time as well. He seemed like a really nice man but he could learn a thing or two about taking hints. She politely rejected him five times already and he still hasn’t given up yet. Y/N just have another guy in her mind and possibly her heart so she couldn’t be bothered by any other person. She’s got eyes on Steve and him alone.

 Steve felt so proud and giddy whenever you would politely dismiss this Magneto guy’s advances on you. He would watch as you would shake your head with a smile before leaving the guy. He enjoyed watching the guy get rejected over and over again but at the same time, he hated seeing you so uncomfortable. 

 Steve couldn’t do anything but watch as Tony introduced you to a bunch of other threats scientists. He was doing his best to remain calm but when he saw you smiling and getting cozy with one of the younger scientists, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t do anything and he didn’t have the right to be jealous so what the hell would he do? He also couldn’t just stay and watch as another guy wins her heart.

 Steve settled on ditching the party.

 “Y/N, is that you?” A familiar yet strange voice spoke up from behind her as she was ducking behind a wall, avoiding a certain scientist. 

 Y/N felt like the angels above blessed her when she saw a familiar face when she turned to look at where the voice came from. “Cisco?! Is that really you?” The smaller man with long hair nodded while grinning at her. He spread his arms to his sides before saying, “The one and only!” 

 Y/N couldn’t help but squeal and jump on her heels as she jumped into his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. She knew Cisco from freshman year in college up until they got their own jobs in very well known industries. “Oh my god, it’s been so long!” 

 The two continued to talk and catch up with each other’s lives until a point where Cisco bid his friend farewell saying something about needing to be home for his family.

 Y/N tries to look for the one person she wants to be with but fails to see his face at the party so she decides to look for him at the compound before a certain Magnet named scientist comes for her again.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Y/N groans as she closes Steve’s door. She frowned at him before asking, “Why’d you leave the party?” 

 Steve closed his eyes before letting out an exasperated sigh. “The atmosphere was becoming a little too much for me” he gives her a cheeky smile, patting the spot beside him on the bed. Y/N happily plops herself down beside him before nodding. “Yeah. Tony’s really good at being too much with his parties. Also, I think his friend got mad at me” 

 Steve frowned at that. “Magneto?” his face reddens when he sees her watching him, probably wondering how he knew the scientist. She’s probably thinking how much of a creep I am and how I was watching her the whole time. 

 Much to Steve’s relief, she chuckles under her breath before shaking her head. “So that’s his name! I understand why he got so annoyed now!” Y/N laughs and Steve just watches her with a smile on his face. 

 “Why? What happened?” Steve asks, praying to god that no asshole tried to hurt you. “I kept calling him Magnet instead of Magneto...” Y/N watches Steve as he lets out a laugh, his eyes closing, and little wrinkles forming at the sides of his eyes. Why is he so beautiful?

 “Tony seemed determined to push that guy to me though…” Y/N stares off into the distance and Steve managed to get all the confidence he could get to ask. “Seems like he was trying to set you up with a lot of his scientist friends.” he chuckles but it was so dry, he was scared that she might see how annoyed he was with the idea.

 Y/N tilts her head and looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and at that moment, Steve felt his heartache for not having the guts to just ask the woman in front of her out. How can she manage to make his heart feel like this every single time?

 “What do you mean? Magneto’s the only guy he’s setting me up with” Y/N’s voice cuts Steve's internal battle with himself. 

 “What about that guy with the long hair… I think his name was Cisco?” Steve pretends to not know his name but in all honesty, he’d done every research on the guy as soon as he got to his room.

 “Oh! Cisco!” Y/N’s face lights up at the mention of her friend’s name and Steve felt his heart break a little at her excitement. “He’s an old friend from college. He’s a very nice guy.” Y/N starts and Steve prepares himself for the heartbreak that’s inevitable.

 “We were both freshmen and I used to get bullied by this group of guys. You would think that being in college would stop all the stereotypes and all that but no. These guys would always torment me just because they can but then Cisco, I didn’t know him yet, stood up for me. Even though he was much smaller than the guys and is completely outnumbered, he still fought them and instead of me being bullied, it was us two getting all the torment. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.” Y/N laughs at the end of her story, remembering the event in her mind. 

 Steve’s blood boiled at the thought of people bullying you. If there is anything that he hates the most, it was bullies. As much as he tried to hate this Cisco friend of yours, he genuinely sounds like a nice guy. Kind of reminds him of himself.

 “I can’t believe how we both turned out to be. We’re both scientists now but it looks like he’s doing much better than I am.” Y/N looks down and shakes her head with a smile.

 “What do you mean? If you ask me, I think you’re doing a hell of a job!” Steve’s voice cracks a little and he couldn’t help but blush as Y/N looks up at him with a smirk.

 “I know. I’m working for Tony Stark, for goodness sake. It’s just Cisco is living the complete package of adulthood. Being married, having kids, and all that.” Y/N sighs, standing up from the bed before moving towards the door.

 Oh… Oh!

 Steve stood up from the bed as fast as he could, walking towards her with determination. 

 “Woah, Steve. I’m just going to get some snacks—” Y/N stops talking as Steve pulls out a small velvet box from his slacks and hands it to her. 

 “I uhh… Congratulations on the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” he guides her hands to open the box, revealing a vintage necklace with a scarlet gemstone.

 “Steve… You honestly didn’t have to.” Y/N admires the necklace before running her fingers against the red stone. Steve takes the necklace and moves to stand behind her. “May I?” He asks her to which she quickly nodded.

 Steve stared at Y/N and admired how she managed to look ethereal with or without the necklace. “You know… I bought that necklace for you a few months after I met you.” This was it. Steve couldn’t keep his feelings from her anymore. He might regret it later but at least he got to tell her how he really feels.

 “You did?” Y/N whispers under her breath as she looks up at Steve when he tilts her chin up with his fingers.

 “When you were tasked to babysit me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how you were so understanding. The way you were so patient with me. The way your eyes lit up each time you would tell stories about something you’re passionate about.” Steve gulps before continuing, “I knew I was fucked when you laughed at one of my lame jokes. I remember how angelic your voice sounded and how everything seemed to disappear and all I could see was your face.”

 Y/N stared at Steve with hooded eyes. It felt like she was in a dream. She watched how his eyes glossed and watched him breathe through his lips before he leaned closer to her, lips barely touching.

 “What about being friends?” Y/N watches him as he bites his bottom lip.

 “Fuck being friends” he breaks the distance and kisses her with determination. One of his hands finds its way to her back while the other cradles her face, pulling her closer to him as if he didn’t want any space between them. 

 Y/N’s hands find their way towards the back of his neck, pulling him closer with the same determination. They didn’t pull away from each other until they needed to breathe. 

 Steve goes back in for another kiss, guiding her back to the bed and positioning himself on top of her.

 Their night was just getting started and wouldn’t end any time soon.

  Steve stared at you while you peacefully slept beside him. You looked otherworldly wearing nothing but the necklace he gave to you, rays of sunshine hitting parts of your skin, and his blanket laying on top of your body. He decided then and there that he will always want to wake up to this view. He wants to wake up every day with you beside him. He smiled at the idea. 

 His cheeks tinted red when he remembered how you looked on top of him and how you looked under him. How you became breathless because of him and how your body squirmed under his touch. Just the thought of you makes his cock spring back to life. It doesn’t help that you’re currently staring at him with a small smile and tired eyes. 

 “You’re awake!” Steve breathes out, eyes widening a little.

 “Good morning to you too” Y/N chuckles at Steve's reaction before turning to look at the ceiling.

 “You’re beautiful, you know that?” Steve leans down to kiss your lips, then your nose,  and then your forehead. You smile up at him before kissing his lips.

 “So we’re not friends anymore?” Y/N raises an eyebrow at him before giving him a cheeky smile.

 “I want to do this the right way.” Steve watches Y/N tilt her head in confusion.

 “Let me take you out on a date,” Steve asks. 

 “I think you got your sequence a bit mixed up, Steve.” Y/N grins and Steve retorts with showering her face with kisses making her giggle under him.

 “Okay! Okay! I’ll go on a date with you on one condition.” Y/N straightens up before staring at him seriously.

 “Anything” Steve responds immediately.

 “I’ll go on a date with you if you agree to become my boyfriend” Y/N gives him a toothy smile.

 “I will gladly be your boyfriend… I guess I’m not the only one who got the sequence of dating all messed up, huh?” Steve teases her and she just laughs in return, taking Steve’s dress shirt from the floor and putting it on. It was big on her so it fell just above her knees and she rolled the huge sleeves up to her forearms.

 Steve admires her in his clothes. Another view that he would always want to see. He stands from the bed only to pull her body on top of him as he lays back on the bed.

 “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.” Steve’s voice was deep and sincere and he loved how her body responded to his voice.

 “I’ll only leave you when you no longer want me but I’ll still be there to watch over you. I’ll always be there when you need me.” Steve turned her body around so now they were chest to chest.

 “I don’t think that’s possible.” Y/N watches Steve as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

 “I will never not want you. Besides, I got it bad for you just as you got it bad for me.” Y/N leans her face closer to his, pressing her forehead against his. 

 “How do you know that?” Steve smiles as he looks at her lips before looking back at her eyes.

 “Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go as well.” Y/N grins before pressing a kiss on his lips and him immediately responding to the kiss by pulling her body closer to his. A kiss that sealed their relationship because they were no longer just friends.

[asexualzoro]

list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)