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julianspants-blog · 1 year

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Can I get some fluff with Steven (Universe) x a trans male reader? Some comfort, specifically. Like, the readers been dysphoric as of late and Steve-o comforts him about it

Of course you can!!! Also Thank you sosososoo much, Anon! For being my first request on my tumblr!(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Some warnings:

Body dysmorphia Depressing thoughts A tad bit of anxiety, as well as some slight flirtatious actions.

❤This one-shot starts more realistically in Steven Universe: The Movie, (during the time of repairing earth from Spinel's attack on Earth, not quite the beginning of SUF). If that makes any sense ❤

As the morning sun rises upon the docks of Beach City and glistens onto the salty water to refract shimmering crystals across the sand, your alarm clock slowly but surely wakes you from your peaceful sleep. Your eyes flutter open, adjusting to the rays of the sun shining through your window. You pull your blankets off in one quick movement, quickly feeling the crisp air hit your legs as you shiver slightly. As you sit on the edge of your bed, you check your phone; 10:15 AM. 2 hours until you meet up with Steven and a couple of friends for a movie date. You read along with the cute daily reminders that ping onto your screen. Fortunately, Steven knows you like the back of his hand, that without the motivation, you will not hesitate to crawl back into the soft blankets of your queen bed. While you were asleep, he made you a cute little daily affirmations to help you get up with a smile on your face. With cute messages like "If I had to shout to the world how much I love you, I'd simply whisper it into your ear <3" as well as "Be sure you have a nutritious breakfast, love!" A soft smile creeps onto your face as you picture your beloved boyfriend's goofy smile as he peppers your face with kisses, You begrudgingly stand up on the cool wooden flooring and walk to your bathroom and flick on the fluorescent light, and look up at your dimly lit figure in the mirror. You slightly wince at the sight of your figure in the mirror, with your arms contrasting against the size difference of the red shirt with a big golden star in the center. Your stature stands with your hands perched against the counter, dissatisfied with the figure hiding underneath the security of Steven's old shirt. You try to push past your pessimistic thoughts as you remind yourself of your partner's compassionate words as you get in the shower. You try not to look down at yourself too much as you lather the loofah in soap. To say the least, your shower is pretty short. You reach for the white towel draped over the shower curtains and wrap the cloth around you, instantaneously warming you in contrast to the chilling air outside the shower. As you're exiting the shower, you can't help but hate the way the towel wrapped around you fits around your body. You start to feel a pang in your chest as a knot begins to form in your throat. You stand there frozen, looking as your self-image slowly deprecates into a sea of paralyzing anxiety. "What will they think about me?" "I look hideous." "What will he think of me..."

Your unrelenting berating of yourself halts as you feel tears dripping down from your eyes. A flow of hatred seizes you as you angrily wipe the tears from your face. You jump slightly as you hear your phone ringing from your bed. You walk back to your bed and flip over your buzzing phone to find Steven calling you. You quickly assess your voice to make sure it doesn't sound like you were just crying and slowly press the tip of your thumb to the green button...

"Hey..."

"Hey! Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I.."

As you were being overflowed with questions you could barely understand, your gaze finally rested on the time in the top right corner of your phone, realizing that... it's 1:30...

As you come to notice the time during Stevens' worried rampage of questions, you can't help but feel guilty and a bit nauseated at the thought of him and the others waiting for an hour standing at the movies... for you.

"I called you like three times!" "Are you sick?" -

"No, I'm fine. You say, cutting him off a bit. "I'm sorry that I made you wait."

Steven's hurling questions pause; he holds the phone in his hand as he hangs onto your words. "...that I made you wait..." His slightly panicked voice slows to a gentle, mother-like tone.

"What's wrong?"

At this point, you don't think that you can answer him without your voice unraveling to a small whisper of pitiful cries, so that's what you do..

You just cry.

As you softly weep into your hands, the mic picks up your soft mumbling. Through the phone, Steven lets out a small sigh and tells you, "Stay where you are; I'll be there in 5, my love." Through your choked sobs you give a weak Mhm, letting him know you heard him, as he smooches the phone, the call hangs up.

As you wipe the tears from your face, you realize that you're still in your towel. You get up from your seated position and slip on some underwear as well as some comfortable sweatpants you have recently bought. You turn to your binder and slip it onto your torso. Just as you turn to grab your hoodie, your front door has someone firmly knocking on its surface. You hear this and start to descend the stairs from your room to open the front door, you're met face-to-face with a box of Spacetries and, of course, the famous Steven Universe. You opened the door wider for him to step inside the house, after kicking off his flip-flops, he finally navigated his way to the nearest table and placed down the box of sweets and a bag of fry bits. You close the door behind him and lock it before turning towards his awkward walk towards the table. It takes everything in you not to start crying again over the thought that he did this for you. You slowly shift towards the doorframe of the kitchen before he's aware of your presence. In that same movement he swiftly turns his gaze settling onto your tear stained cheeks and your slightly reddened-puffy eyes. It only takes him 4 quick paces to reach out to you in the doorframe, and he gently envelops you in a hug with one arm coming up and resting his hand on the upper part of your back while the other comes up and cradles the back of your head. You wrap both of your arms around his torso as your head is brought to the crook of his neck. You feel as if you're floating on air as he silently rubs small circles into your back, then momentarily kisses behind your ear and rubs his thumb ever so sweetly across the back of your slightly damp hair. He slowly retracts from the sweet embrace and takes time to look at you, waiting for you to say what has been upsetting you. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes as his soft hazelnut gaze peers straight through your heart and into your soul, on instinct you look down at the collar of his jacket as you feel embarrassed that you made him miss out on the movie.

"I- I just felt. I didn't feel like myself", You pause for a moment as you draw a shaky breath before you continue. "I just haven't been feeling like anything lately; it's like I'm trapped in the web of my own trap, like I'm stuck in one place, in one body...like- there's nobody that can help me wade through," you say as the knot in your throat tightens. You bring your hands free from his warm sides and hug yourself while tugging at your binder that holds your torso. Steven understands exactly what you're saying to him and brings his hands towards your face to cup your cheeks, slowly bringing your head to look at him, thumbs brushing the sides of your face in an arch motion. "I understand my love. However you feel, whenever you feel this way, I will always be here to love and support everything you do," he says, lightly placing a soft kiss on your forehead before he continues. "Whenever you need someone to talk to about your feelings, myself and the crystal gems would be more than happy to help you release any self-deprecating feelings or stress." Your gaze lifts to him with softened eyes as you bring your hands back around his waist where they once were, bringing him closer as you bury your face into his chest, taking in deep breaths of his scent, instantly calming you. "I love you" he breathes into your hair with such care and compassion that a shutter rubs down your spine from the tender phrase just as the trickle of his breath against your back. You squeeze him tighter in response and let out a shaky yet relaxed sigh into his jacket. Steven, being the gentleman he is; politely releases you from his grip and tugs on the left sleeve of his jacket slowly removing the jacket off his body then taking the collar into his palms and draping it over your shoulders like a cloak. You look up at his face, taking in his softened facial expression, his tinted cheeks, and the fallen stray curl that gently rests upon his eyebrow. While admiring his lovely features, a soft smile curves its way onto your lips as you swiftly tilt your head to get a quick peck at his soft lips. As you retreat from the sweet gesture, he immediately has your lips back on his for a slow, charming kiss. As the tender moment ends, he guides you over to your living room sofa, instantly reaching for the cootie cat plushie resting in the nook of the window seat. You and Steven cuddle up close underneath a nice fuzzy blanket that Pearl had previously knitted for your birthday last year. Steven decided on watching old reruns of 'Camp Pining Hearts' together whilst arguing with the TV about how bad the ship Pilette (Pierre & Paulette) is. As you pop a Chaaaap in your mouth, you can hear a soft snore come from your right. You slightly turn your head to see Steven, lips slightly parted as his head rests on your shoulder, fast asleep. Your eyes travel to his peaceful face full of admiration, endearment… Love, you lightly kiss his forehead and slowly snuggle closer into his warm torso. As you start to doze off into the comfortable embrace of sleep, you whisper.

‘Steven, I love you so much.’

He doesn't respond of course but you can't help but know he heard you as he squeezes you tighter in his embrace as you are both lulled to sleep.

Word Count: 1.8k

I am SUPER happy about this one-shot!!

I'm sorry for such a late response, I’ve been held up with school and such things. Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Have a wonderful day <3ヾ(^▽^*)

#steven universe #all fandoms #oneshot #imagine #crystals #crystal gems #rebecca sugar #fandom #ao3 writer #cartoon #cartoon network #request #writers on tumblr #fanfic #headcanon

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xythlia · 4 months

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HI NEW MOOT! ty for coming to my inbox <3 you're making me blush >< your theme is sosososoos pretty ++ i love ur works so much eeeee

AHHH UR MAKING ME BLUSH WE'RE LIKE THE SPIDERMAN POINTING MEME <333 ur so so so sweet im so happy to be mooties!

#𓏲 ࣪₊ 💭 \ inbox #☆— mooties : divienne #im laying in bed geeking so hard hehehe :3 GIVING U A BIG CHEEK SMOOCH

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https-chaos · 10 months

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Its 4am and I'm exploring my gender under the cut. I'm conflicted again <3 if any transmascs feel like reading I'd love to hear if you felt similar feelings before realizing you were trans or if I'm reading too much into it lol.

Just autism things

So I don't really have feelings one way or another about my gender normally. I did have a significant breast reduction and would have had them removed if I didn't think it would make wearing clothes a challenge. I have a pretty dramatic waist to hip ratio and don't mind being perceived as feminine.

But. BUT. When I put on that fuckin strap. Ooooooohhhhhhhh that is simply not fair. Im addicted to the insane euphoric head rush I get when I see myself wearing that ridiculous contraption. The POWER. You feel like a ManTM. Every time I fuck a woman the ManTM feeling flows through me with a power I've never felt about being female.

It feels like this:

Having tiddies: eh. Sucks. Uncomfortable. Painful. But they are soooososososo squishy and make me feel sexy and good.

Having a vagina and all the related plumbing: neutral. I think having a dick would be easier for a lot of practical reasons but for sex purposes I have no strong opinions about genitals.

Having a traditionally "feminine" body and being perceived as female, having people who are attracted to women be attracted to me: love it. Desire me @ all lesbians. Men can look too I guess. Only downside is the horrors.

Presenting in a feminine way: neutral. I am really into fashion and makeup and hair, and if I had a different more masculine body I would just wear whatever styles and cuts looked best. I don't actively try to perform femaleness, I think it just happens. I don't have any real connection to feminine clothes or femininity in general and it doesn't make me feel good or bad about my gender. Wearing clothes that fit my body nicely feels amazing but not in a gendery way.

Wearing the strap: I AM A MAN. He him baby. Call me daddy. Grr. I feel the nonexistent testosterone coursing through me. Every time I fuck a woman I come even though it's not even touching my clit or anything. This is by far the strongest and possibly the only sensation or emotion of "gender" I have ever had. It's so overpowering that if I close my eyes I can imagine looking down myself at a male body and loving it. The second I take it off this feeling disappears completely and the whole time I'm never feeling uncomfy about my boobs or anything. Like I imagine having a flat chest and straight torso and it's awesome af but it doesn't make me feel icky about my actual body.

But GOD!!! The sensation of MASCULINITY that completely envelops me. Whew. It's so powerful. Let me ENTER you babe. Even imagining it is crazy. Quite possibly I'm just very attracted to women and also slightly a top. Where is the line between being a lesbian, wearing a penis, and being a man having one? Maybe my imagination is just too active.

Another facet of it: I write so much gay fanfic. I've been writing it since I was too young to be writing smut. Over the years I've built a little gay man in my head. He's so so sosososoo attracted to men. He's masculine and hairy and he helps me capture the feelings for my fics. (To be clear, this isn't a hallucination or anything. It's more like a really well fleshed out OC. I just visualize him when I need to write from the perspective of a man attracted to men.)

But then sometimes I'll be doing something and get a little wave of attraction to a man in a very distinct mlm fashion. There's a powerful sensation of not being a woman attracted to a man in a straight way, but of a man being attracted to a man in a gay way. To me, it's always seemed to come from this character I created, like my fanfic character was popping in to point out some guy's abs or ass. I don't have any idea how to tell if that's MY attraction and gender or if I'm just habitually in writing mode. Was that a bit of dialog I just came up with or my own thought? It's hard to tell.

Anyway, when I write I sort of become that detailed character I made. When I'm deep in writing a fic, in my mind, I'm 6' tall, hairy, a little chubby, and could probably lift and throw my real body across the room. I get the ManTM feeling and again it's an abnormally strong gender feeling for me. Again it stops without causing dysphoria as soon as my attention is broken, but I will say it's quite the whiplash to switch in your minds eye like that.

I don't think I'm capable of gender dysphoria. The strongest gender sensation I feel regularly is highly masculine, but I don't have any particular objections to being perceived as a woman. But I have never, ever felt WomanTM in the same way. Why do I connect so strongly to masculinity in specific circumstances? It's not all the time which is why I get confused. Atm I don't feel like a man or a woman.

Also I'm not hip so idk if you're supposed to say you're non-binary when someone asks "are you a man or woman" and you go uhhh,,, neither? Both? But they them feels exactly like she her and he him. They all feel equally neutral. The neos too. I imagine people talking about me on a stage every time I see a new pronoun set and none of them illicit a response.

Except of course when I'm wearing the strap. Infernal contraption. Stop making me confused.

Actually I'm being a little dramatic about the conflict. I'm not sitting here being upset that I have no relationship with my gender. I'm simply autistic and study myself like a lab specimen 24/7 and people always think my observations are complaints. I'm not complaining; in fact, this is great fun to me! That ManTM feeling is so powerful and so intensely pleasant and I enjoy it when it happens.

Anyway it's. 5am now. I barely proofread this let's hope it's coherent <3 goodnight

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springthings · 1 year

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The good tidings start early. Stroke of midnight, Willow is up - of course she's up - and already composing a message to Allie to wish her happy birthday. Eager to be the very first to do so, she had the message pre-typed at 11:50 to be sure it would send exactly on time.

[ TO : alliebean ✉️ willow is typing . . . ]

txt: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL GIRL <3 i love you so so so so so soooo much. i bet you're gonna be super busy today so i've actually got a few things due to arrive when the sun comes up so you can open all your prezzies and then go have fun!!! i hope you love them as much as i loved hunting them down for you!!

This text is followed by a selfie of Willow pulling a dorky face at the camera, lips pursed as if blowing a kiss to Allie through the photograph. Ser hair splayed across the pillow around her, shoulders bare and collarbones peeking into frame. There's a smile in her eyes.

As promised, the gifts arrive early in the morning. All wrapped in brown paper and purple string, Allie is gifted with a series of small things:

A floral letter set; parchment with dried flowers and melting wax and twine all secured nicely in a little box decorated with watercolour pictures of spring flowers.

A set of gel pens. These, Willow is particularly pleased with herself about, because they are not just gel pens, but fancy, glittery refillable gel pens. Sustainability is sexy!

Some little propagation jars, multicoloured and delicate and complete with cuttings from Willow's own houseplants! Plant babies!

The final gift is a little hand-bound I-O-U book, filled with things that Willow would probably do for Allie if she asked her enough times anyway, but this way Allie doesn't have to ask twice for anything! Little tokens of love, for whenever Allie needs them.

(belated) allie birfday 🥳🥳🥳, accepting always.

when allie finds willow's message, she's sad to have missed it, but the feeling is swept away, a new one fluttering in its place as she continues to read the message, her initial impulse to reply subsiding as the anticipation and excitement about finding willow's presents.

her door is the last place she checks, strangely closed and painting the rest of the home a few shades darker than usual, without the light flowing in from the open doorway that the fairy girl is used to. curiously, she peeks through the small window on the door, grinning brightly when she spots the four little boxes. after the careful extraction of string and paper, because it's willow and she couldn't bear to rip it, she's left with her four little pretty, sparkly treasures, and then she cannot decide what excites her more. she moves the plants to be with their new friends and gets them situated before she does anything else.

it turns into the stretch and swell of time, and allie realizes that she's forgotten to text willow after a long conversation with their plant babies.

( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) lo lo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) youre so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!! ( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) thank you so sosososoosos much i love youuuuuuuuuu ( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) but im not busy pls pslslseaseeeeee eplease pleaseeeee come overrrrrrrrr i miss you sosososoos much :(((((((((((( ( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) come help me write letters!!! you can like teach me cause youre so good at it!!!!!!! and then im totes gonna write you one cause i love you ( sms 一 lolo!!!! 💜🌚🌧🌿 ) please dont make me use a coupon im the birthday girl 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

#in.#main.#unpossession

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compcssivn-blog · 5 years

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( cindy kimberly. twenty-three. cisfemale. she/her. ) ❛ ELLIS LAWRENCE, a virgo from lyon, france, moved into holloway six months ago. they are a journalist & musician that lives in apartment 4d here and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be -egotistical and -indecisive but others say they’re +compassionate and +endearing. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear woman by harry styles, it’s ELLIS blasting it. ( penned by cel, eighteen, pst. )

hiii guys, i'm cel ! i'm here to bring you my know-it-all dork, ELLIS ! i haven’t been in a group rp in a hot minute but i’m seriously so excited for this rp. i prefer she/her pronouns, i’m the biggest lorde / khalid stan ever, & i love tea. if you'd like to plot, my im's are always open or just ask for my discord ! or *youtuber vc* smash that like button & i'll msg you ♡

introducing ... ELLIS LAWRENCE !

just think: satin shirts, wire framed reading glasses, a stack of unread newspapers, an endless love of love, red lipstick messages on mirrors, annotations written all over worn out books, sleeping with not a single bit of clothing, the smell of lavender & honey, glasses of red wine in the bath, bowls of cherries & pomegranate seeds, black lacy lingerie, red glossy heels that match red glossy lips, the sweet sound of a piano playing in the middle of the night, light makeup on dewy skin, knee high heeled boots, velvet dresses, going braless because why not, delicate fingers flipping through record players, dainty golden jewelry, the sweet taste of jasmine iced tea. more on her PINTEREST BOARD.

on september ninth, ellis was born into this little family in a small house in lyon, france, with one mother, one father, and one older half-sister. her & her sister were extremely close when they were younger, but as they got older they never really got along after that. they argued constantly & fought until her sister finally moved out & ellis never saw her again.

her relationship with her parents was only slightly different. she loves them dearly but they also tended to argue with her & were very judgmental of her actions. they love her regardless, & they always said they were only hard on her because they cared, but she’s very angry with her parents for the way they treated her at times

she loves france sosososoo much. france has always been her home & she’s always loved every bit of it, from the museums to the food to the language. she’s also secretly good at driving stick but never drives, usually walks everywhere even if the distance is like miles & miles, she’ll still walk it.

ellis had always been in love with playing the guitar, piano, & singing. she participated in school talent shows & was never really afraid of being herself. now, she sings in bars & tries her best to get herself some gigs & is constantly writing songs in this leather journal that she never lets out of her sight

she has a degree in english literature which she got while studying in barcelona & staying with her aunt there ( who she adores ). as soon as she turned eighteen, she dipped to spain just because she didn’t want to have to deal with her family’s disappointment in her & what she was pursuing.

she considers it her sort of backup in case the music thing doesn’t work out. she’s incredibly determined though, but she’s also a meticulous planner & loves traveling so much. she’s traveled all over most of europe, so she knows spanish pretty well too. currently she’s a journalist & does some freelance writing projects to pay the bills. & now she moved her because she thought she really needed to chill on the traveling & find something permanent to really try & get somewhere with her future

her power color is seriously red. she’s always wearing red lipstick & always tries to incorporate red into her outfits & her favorite flowers are red roses. she loves thrift shopping, hanging out in dumb hipster cafes, listening to classic rock on her record player, & is suuuuuch a romantic but can be a huge player lmao. she tends to get bored easily & randomly breaks up with someone if she doesn’t like something about them. a huge romantic but looks for love in the worst places

she can be a bit flighty & impulsive but she means well & cares so much for her friends. like, loyal as hell & would die for someone she cares about. also tends to be a bit more masculine than people expect & loves wearing suits & those button-down shirts you know which ones fjdkjd ( also coughs bi as hell )

loading ... SOME IDEAS !

a friends with benefits: pretty self explanatory. ellis would probably consider it a sort of fling as she does with many of her relationships.

unrequited / requited crush: maybe even something like fwb but with feelings ! yikes ! the drama ! or maybe either of our chars was rejected by the other. or maybe it’s all in the past now ( or is it ? )

your basic best friend: she would 100% die for them. sell their soul for them. their platonic soulmate.

skinny love: the angst. the pain. the holding back. yes.

someone she sings with / writes with / anything music related: they could be music dorks together & jam out & go to record stores & all those things

childhood friend: someone she grew up with in france ! or maybe someone that would visit her family in france ! maybe someone she met in school ! maybe a friend she made while being a foreign exchange student ! idk i’m just spitballing here

secret admirer: someone who’s a fan of her music or her writing or knew her from school or sees her at a cafe or a museum or a thrift store idk idk

love/hate: PLEASE. get me some enemies to lovers / friends shit

literally anything

okkkk that should be about everything !! i’ve got p much everything open so pls shoot me a msg or hit the like button so we can do some plotting :^) if you’re stuck on ideas, i’ll add some things to THIS TAG or the list above. thank u for reading <3

#･ﾟ⋆ ABOUT / 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬.#hollowayintro.#pls read i'll love u forever

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