#source: @transheadcrab @thetaobella @heartachedreamboy @punkrorschach @bomberqueen17 and @indigobluerose

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: why do they always show cranberries in those big pits and it's implied it's wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. what.

ROSE: You've never heard of The Bog?

JOHN: th. the what?

ROSE: Hm. I forget some people don't understand New England.

JOHN: each additional comment you add makes my blood run cold.

ROSE: Well, then, yes, cranberries grow in large clumps called bogs. Once they're ripe, the bog is flooded and the cranberries are harvested, basically by using big floating nets to round them all up and scooping them out of the water.

JOHN: ok thank you. i hate it a little less. the horrible little man in my head is still screaming "BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY", but i appreciate the education.

ROSE: Additionally, you don't just flood the bog and then go around it in a boat, or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floating nets where they go and get all the berries and such.

ROSE: And many cranberry farms opt for organic or sustainable pest control methods, one of which is encouraging wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field and eat the bugs to keep insect damage down.

JOHN: wait.

ROSE: And, well, when you're in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don't like it, so they are, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing. So you will probably have, like, a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows. You have to be chill, though, because the spiders are also employees.

ROSE: If you ever want to go wading in a cranberry bog, just make sure you're cool with spiders.

JOHN: ...i want you to know, really truly know, that "make sure you're cool with spiders" is not a specific enough statement for that situation.