#spamton... my salesman...

[marshmellopie]

YOU THERE

Give me your spamton headcanons! Any kind!

loki i love you so much you don't know how much i've been wanting to share my headcanons oh my GOD [scans over my 20+ page headcanon doc]

putting it under the cut because it's a lot of random stuff, i didn't categorize anything so there might be whiplash between everything:

– Five feet tall, previously 5'10 when he was still an Addison. I made Puppet Spam was 4'5 for the longest time, but I decided to say fuck it and make him taller. Still short in terms of Cyber City residents though, I like to imagine normal Addisons are around 6ft.

– I sometimes forget to draw it and I can't really animate it consistently, but his knuckles are constantly bruised because he keeps punching things whenever he's angry. Experiences really severe temper tantrums/outbursts and usually resorts to violence.

– Do not touch his fucking hair if he doesn’t know you. He’ll legitimately plan your murder if you cut any of it off– and that’s not a hyperbole. He can’t grow it back and his hair is his pride and joy, so he will genuinely track you down and rip your goddamn soul out of your chest. It's also permanently black (besides the grey but that's from stress), he changed his coding when he was famous to have black hair. Could've been reversible, but some things kinda stuck after he fucked himself up and became a doll.

– Weird mixture of Addison and mannequin. Mysteriously fell incredibly ill with a virus that was destroying his coding after his phone went dead silent, and became desperate to the point of converting his remaining data into an inanimate object. Kind of like converting a PDF into a JPEG with the compressed quality and all. Kinda iffy with this one and not really canon-inspired, I swap between him gradually and suddenly turning into a puppet. Used to base it off the Acid Theory but I'm tryna be creative sjfkdsjf he did probably fall in/get pushed a few times but it didn't burn him to the point of no return, it definitely stung though

– Blurry vision in both eyes because he had the audacity to peek into the Shadow Crystal multiple times. Hacked his glasses to somewhat correct it, but it only works to a certain extent.

– Talks through a voice box. He really doesn't need to move his mouth at all to speak and has limited range of motion (he can't close his mouth all the way and has no tongue), but he tries to purely out of habit.

– gayest man in cyber city

– Eats basically anything. From spaghetti-code to cardboard, his body is kind of forced to digest all of it, but it obviously hurts him if it's not supposed to be eaten.

– Sometimes doesn't recognize his own reflection.

– Riddled with viruses for so long that he probably wouldn't ever be able to get rid of them. He could probably minimize them if he got treatment, but only to an extent. They're a permanent part of him now.

– His nose is simultaneously the strongest and weakest part of his body. Either pierces through metal or bends like a bendy straw depending on if you throw him or just lightly poke it.

– Terrifyingly amazing aim. Can throw a pipis at a specific target without much thought. His pipis explode.

– Calmed down a bit as the years went on (because he lost hope LMAO), which isn't saying much considering he's still extremely rabid. Was extremely volatile when he first decided to give up the good life and live in the dumpster. Frequently tried to break into the mansion, probably stole a few cars, mugged a few Plugboys, picked fights with other malware on the streets. He still continues to do these things, of course, but to a lesser degree.

– Spiteful cunt. Wrong him once and he'll never forget your name. Rarely apologizes even if he's in the wrong.

– Can't say names properly unless he's being completely serious.

– Upholds his end of most deals, but words himself carefully so that if what he has to bring to the table isn't up to par with what the other person asked of him (which is 99% of the time), he can easily swindle his way out of it. No refunds on the sword. It's broken? I told you that. Cut anything, two pieces. You heard me clearly, and you obviously had no qualms with it from what I could tell. (Except he'd say that in a really fucked up and more condescending way.)

– Constantly hears static, but it grows and fades depending on his mood.

– Laughs at the most inconvenient times. Someone's threatening him? He'll chuckle. He's nervous? A little giggle. He just received some devastating news? Roaring laughter.

– Very unreliable narrator and storyteller. Tends to exaggerate things that have happened to him (doesn't mean that he didn't go through some wild shit though).

– Doesn't celebrate his birthday, for obvious loneliness and conflicting self-resentment reasons. Also because he doesn't keep track of the time. He don't know what day it is fam.

– Can mimic voices really well, though he still retains that bitcrushed/noisy overlay and the ad pop-ups.

– Tends to chew on things occasionally as a nervous habit. He doesn't exactly have a tongue, so he instead picks up random small items scattered around (ie. a pencil) and chews on them. Worst case scenario he just grinds his teeth together.

– Gestures with his hands a lot when he speaks. It literally looks like he's going through an emote hotbar. Also very expressive when it comes to his face, despite rarely being able to frown properly. You can garner a lot about his mood from his glasses.

– Mostly bark over bite. Tends to make empty threats a lot when he's startled in hopes his loudness will be intimidating, but will indeed bite if he needs to… or wants to. Sometimes there’s no bark at all, and he’ll literally bite.

– Has a weird fascination with shiny objects. He steals many things that seem valuable or visually appealing and hoards them in his shop.

– Once you put the KEYGEN into NEO, it takes a little bit for him to actually take over the body because he's transferring his data onto it. Permanently. Even when he becomes small Spamton again, he's permanently linked to the machine now, so he can change into it at will. Technically not at will because he has trouble controlling it, but you get what I mean.

this was insanely long but thank you for letting me ramble <3

[awaywarddoll]

The brainrot got me so bad I'm finally free of the [hyperlink blocked]. Love these stupid salesmen. Kissing them and losing all my kronor $$$

[just-a-hooman64]

This is just the beginning of my insanity

[pinkchildhologram24]

some quick doodles cus whoa...

spamton sweepstakes arg update spoilers

in japanese ver, it literally says "But she thought it was Catti Petters… and thought I was just going to pet her. There's no such game~ (*ﾉ>ᴗ<)"

aww

[charrfie]

Better times, and birthdays spent together ♡

[taralen]

Psychosis vent art channeled through my favorite [[most beloved]] salesman...

[hei3355]

i saw someone said the BIG i draw looks like he was given birth by phoenix wright x miles edgeworth 🤣🤣🤣🤣i think about it a lot

[unikhroma]

the other day when i was infodumping about crash for like an hour, my friend asked if i've drawn big shot spamton in pinstripe potoroo's suit yet and the answer is now yes !

[pocketscosplay]

Spamton

Spamton G Spamton cosplay I wore to school once

[theskelyart]

Hey guys! 💖✨

I draw the happy salesman spam again cause why not! Hope you like it!

Have a fluffy day everyone ! 💖✨

[apollosopera]

…i have no good explanation for drawing this

open for reference pic and lineart!

[discardedpawns]

3. is your muse typical about where they sleep or can they fall asleep just about anywhere?

Jevil:

Jevil can sleep practically anywhere, in the air, on the floor, crunched up in a box it doesn't matter. Especially since he literally had nothing to sleep on or with when he got locked up in his little freedom.

Spamton:

Once again the exact opposite of Jevil. Spamton likes being enclosed by something whether it's being surrounded by trash in a dumpster or enclosed by blankets and plushies he needs to feel something by him or on him.

[sunny-m00n]

I swear spamton gives me motivation and energy or something. I think this because I was having breakfast with my splushie and got a good bit of happy chemical so I put a spamton playlist on and started cleaning my room and got really far. It looks so much better than before since I was in a funk and let it get out of hand. Thanks Spamton G Spamton for brain-blasting me to be a productive member of society

[the-acid-pear]

the more i think about kris the more my insanity increases tbh there's just so much nuance with not only them but also the player and their relationship and it's layes upon layers of them and i keep tryin to peel them off inside my brain and its going to turn me into a dc villain or something

[freakingpeepseverywhere]

me: dude you gotta write all this down you gotta turn this into a full on fanfic it’ll help your writing skills, we can blow up, WE CAN BE BIG IF WE JUST TRY

also me: hehe spammy is a feral ipad guy and i fucking love him :3

[gameringgungke]

went to twitter and scrolled through a few entire profiles for an art source (thanks google images) and the bottom-tier level of utdr discourse happening there is making me tired