#spamton... my salesman...

[marshmellopie]

YOU THERE

Give me your spamton headcanons! Any kind!

loki i love you so much you don't know how much i've been wanting to share my headcanons oh my GOD [scans over my 20+ page headcanon doc]

putting it under the cut because it's a lot of random stuff, i didn't categorize anything so there might be whiplash between everything:

– Five feet tall, previously 5'10 when he was still an Addison. I made Puppet Spam was 4'5 for the longest time, but I decided to say fuck it and make him taller. Still short in terms of Cyber City residents though, I like to imagine normal Addisons are around 6ft.

– I sometimes forget to draw it and I can't really animate it consistently, but his knuckles are constantly bruised because he keeps punching things whenever he's angry. Experiences really severe temper tantrums/outbursts and usually resorts to violence.

– Do not touch his fucking hair if he doesn’t know you. He’ll legitimately plan your murder if you cut any of it off– and that’s not a hyperbole. He can’t grow it back and his hair is his pride and joy, so he will genuinely track you down and rip your goddamn soul out of your chest. It's also permanently black (besides the grey but that's from stress), he changed his coding when he was famous to have black hair. Could've been reversible, but some things kinda stuck after he fucked himself up and became a doll.

– Weird mixture of Addison and mannequin. Mysteriously fell incredibly ill with a virus that was destroying his coding after his phone went dead silent, and became desperate to the point of converting his remaining data into an inanimate object. Kind of like converting a PDF into a JPEG with the compressed quality and all. Kinda iffy with this one and not really canon-inspired, I swap between him gradually and suddenly turning into a puppet. Used to base it off the Acid Theory but I'm tryna be creative sjfkdsjf he did probably fall in/get pushed a few times but it didn't burn him to the point of no return, it definitely stung though

– Blurry vision in both eyes because he had the audacity to peek into the Shadow Crystal multiple times. Hacked his glasses to somewhat correct it, but it only works to a certain extent.

– Talks through a voice box. He really doesn't need to move his mouth at all to speak and has limited range of motion (he can't close his mouth all the way and has no tongue), but he tries to purely out of habit.

– gayest man in cyber city

– Eats basically anything. From spaghetti-code to cardboard, his body is kind of forced to digest all of it, but it obviously hurts him if it's not supposed to be eaten.

– Sometimes doesn't recognize his own reflection.

– Riddled with viruses for so long that he probably wouldn't ever be able to get rid of them. He could probably minimize them if he got treatment, but only to an extent. They're a permanent part of him now.

– His nose is simultaneously the strongest and weakest part of his body. Either pierces through metal or bends like a bendy straw depending on if you throw him or just lightly poke it.

– Terrifyingly amazing aim. Can throw a pipis at a specific target without much thought. His pipis explode.

– Calmed down a bit as the years went on (because he lost hope LMAO), which isn't saying much considering he's still extremely rabid. Was extremely volatile when he first decided to give up the good life and live in the dumpster. Frequently tried to break into the mansion, probably stole a few cars, mugged a few Plugboys, picked fights with other malware on the streets. He still continues to do these things, of course, but to a lesser degree.

– Spiteful cunt. Wrong him once and he'll never forget your name. Rarely apologizes even if he's in the wrong.

– Can't say names properly unless he's being completely serious.

– Upholds his end of most deals, but words himself carefully so that if what he has to bring to the table isn't up to par with what the other person asked of him (which is 99% of the time), he can easily swindle his way out of it. No refunds on the sword. It's broken? I told you that. Cut anything, two pieces. You heard me clearly, and you obviously had no qualms with it from what I could tell. (Except he'd say that in a really fucked up and more condescending way.)

– Constantly hears static, but it grows and fades depending on his mood.

– Laughs at the most inconvenient times. Someone's threatening him? He'll chuckle. He's nervous? A little giggle. He just received some devastating news? Roaring laughter.

– Very unreliable narrator and storyteller. Tends to exaggerate things that have happened to him (doesn't mean that he didn't go through some wild shit though).

– Doesn't celebrate his birthday, for obvious loneliness and conflicting self-resentment reasons. Also because he doesn't keep track of the time. He don't know what day it is fam.

– Can mimic voices really well, though he still retains that bitcrushed/noisy overlay and the ad pop-ups.

– Tends to chew on things occasionally as a nervous habit. He doesn't exactly have a tongue, so he instead picks up random small items scattered around (ie. a pencil) and chews on them. Worst case scenario he just grinds his teeth together.

– Gestures with his hands a lot when he speaks. It literally looks like he's going through an emote hotbar. Also very expressive when it comes to his face, despite rarely being able to frown properly. You can garner a lot about his mood from his glasses.

– Mostly bark over bite. Tends to make empty threats a lot when he's startled in hopes his loudness will be intimidating, but will indeed bite if he needs to… or wants to. Sometimes there’s no bark at all, and he’ll literally bite.

– Has a weird fascination with shiny objects. He steals many things that seem valuable or visually appealing and hoards them in his shop.

– Once you put the KEYGEN into NEO, it takes a little bit for him to actually take over the body because he's transferring his data onto it. Permanently. Even when he becomes small Spamton again, he's permanently linked to the machine now, so he can change into it at will. Technically not at will because he has trouble controlling it, but you get what I mean.

this was insanely long but thank you for letting me ramble <3

[charrfie]

Better times, and birthdays spent together ♡

[taralen]

Psychosis vent art channeled through my favorite [[most beloved]] salesman...

[hei3355]

i saw someone said the BIG i draw looks like he was given birth by phoenix wright x miles edgeworth 🤣🤣🤣🤣i think about it a lot

[unikhroma]

the other day when i was infodumping about crash for like an hour, my friend asked if i've drawn big shot spamton in pinstripe potoroo's suit yet and the answer is now yes !

[pocketscosplay]

Spamton

Spamton G Spamton cosplay I wore to school once

[theskelyart]

Hey guys! 💖✨

I draw the happy salesman spam again cause why not! Hope you like it!

Have a fluffy day everyone ! 💖✨

[apollosopera]

…i have no good explanation for drawing this

open for reference pic and lineart!

[discardedpawns]

3. is your muse typical about where they sleep or can they fall asleep just about anywhere?

Jevil:

Jevil can sleep practically anywhere, in the air, on the floor, crunched up in a box it doesn't matter. Especially since he literally had nothing to sleep on or with when he got locked up in his little freedom.

Spamton:

Once again the exact opposite of Jevil. Spamton likes being enclosed by something whether it's being surrounded by trash in a dumpster or enclosed by blankets and plushies he needs to feel something by him or on him.

[sunny-m00n]

I swear spamton gives me motivation and energy or something. I think this because I was having breakfast with my splushie and got a good bit of happy chemical so I put a spamton playlist on and started cleaning my room and got really far. It looks so much better than before since I was in a funk and let it get out of hand. Thanks Spamton G Spamton for brain-blasting me to be a productive member of society

[p0stalguy]

I colored a doodle and then i drew something extremely stupid theres your content

[darkangel1117]

Spamton Blog Introduction

Hello! My name is Kurai, and this is my blog! Here are some quick things about me:

⟟ have ⏃ typing quirk (⟟-i ⏃-a)

⟟ have ADHD and Autism, so if you can, tone indicators would be great :)

⟟ have very strong hyperfixations so you will see ⏃ LOT of the same thing for ⏃ LONG time (im so sorry)

My pronouns are he/him and void/voidself :)

⟟ live under ⏃ rock so if you ask me about any other media ⟟ haven't hyperfixated over you can almost guarantee that I've never heard of it

This blog is mostly Spamton themed! If my hyperfixation changes, ⟟ will simply make another blog and keep this one for anyone who wants to run through it :)

The DNI List (It's Not Scary)

Kindly DNI if you are any of the following (warning if your blog is empty and looks like ⏃ bot account, your gonna get blocked. set an actual pfp and make ur profile decorated to avoid being blocked):

Racist

Homophobic

Transphobic

Proshippers

Xenophobic

Ableist

Zoophiles

Pedophiles

Anti-Tone Indicators (If this is even ⏃ thing?)

Toxic people in general

People under the age of 13 (pls get off the app)

Dsmp Fans (this includes smps made by the original dsmp members) (toxic ones)

Genshin fans (toxic ones)

The Interact List (Please Interact)

Please follow or at least interact if you like or are part of the following:

Deltarune fans, specifically Spamton lovers (please I'm so desperate)

Undertale fans, ⟟ don't post about Undertale but ⟟ like talking about it :)

Artist, fanfic writers, etc you guys are super cool :D

People who love theorizing and sharing headcanons (YOU ARE MY LIGHT PLEASE 🙏)

Really any good person (⟟ will not dislike you or shame you unless your on the DNI list, then you're getting blocked)

If you ever get scared of interacting remember asks can be anonymous, and ⟟ love answering cool questions :)

Tags ⟟ Use On My Blog

Here are the tags ⟟ will use on posts so it's easier for you to find them! ⟟ find them pretty fun and ⟟ hope you see them the same way :)

1. YIPPEE SO COOL!!! (reblogs cutey)

⟟ know it's ⏃ typo but I'm rolling with it, this is my reblog tag when ⟟ reblog stuff!

2. THEORYS?!?! ⟟ LOVE THEORIES!!!

My theory tag for when ⟟ post ⏃ theory (As is the point of this blog, which ⟟ need to do more often)

3. bro id headcanon that tbh

This is also ⏃ headcanon blog, so ⟟ will use this tag for when ⟟ post headcanons of any kind (Which ⟟ ALSO need to do more often)

4. writers block doesnt exist if ⟟ dont look at it

When ⟟ write anything, whether it be musical remakes of Toby Fox songs (which ⟟ have hesitated on posting) or fanfic writing, this'll be the tag for it :)

5. [%$&¥] posts

When ⟟ just post whatever is on my mind (Almost like mind reading :O )

6. queue the questions

When ⟟ answer asks! You could find the answer to your's here!

7. other content that isnt the number one rated salesman

Self explanatory but an extremely rare tag to find because I'm so obsessed with spamton

If you got this far, congrats! Here have pictures of my cats :)

[the-acid-pear]

the more i think about kris the more my insanity increases tbh there's just so much nuance with not only them but also the player and their relationship and it's layes upon layers of them and i keep tryin to peel them off inside my brain and its going to turn me into a dc villain or something

[freakingpeepseverywhere]

me: dude you gotta write all this down you gotta turn this into a full on fanfic it’ll help your writing skills, we can blow up, WE CAN BE BIG IF WE JUST TRY

also me: hehe spammy is a feral ipad guy and i fucking love him :3

[ask-the-determined-river]

[ * He offers up the KeyGen now. Seemingly implying you'd need it to get wherever it is this "EmptyDisk" is hidden at. The price fluctuates as with rest of his items. Going from 0 to 5 digit numbers of pricing and back again in seconds.]

{ * [What.] WHAT WHAT?!?! } { * WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU [Understand the explanation] [[Even less]]?? } { * YOU'RE LIGHT neR< AREN'T YOU? YOU'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]] YOU'VE GOT THE [[HeartShapedObject]]. } { * MANSION BASEMENT FIND IT } { * I'LL EVEN THROW IN A [Secr3t] [[Sing song-along]] AS A [Bonus points!!!] } { * JUST. GET. THAT. EMPTY DISK. }

River Person is flabbergasted for a moment, seeing the prices rise back to 'normal', realizing that they did indeed get confused (they were so certain that they understood him perfectly, perhaps they forgot something? Hmm) and thankfully aren't angry about it.

They instead are curious.

"I have the heart-shaped.... object...?" They think about it, recounting heart-shaped things they've seen, and tap on their own chest thoughtfully "...The shape of my soul?"

Then they remember where they came from and remember the sun.

"..........Ooh. . .I get it now, I suppose I am a Lightner, what a delightfully cute name,"

They then raise their eyebrows at Spamton's urgency about the Empty Disk and realize that they had gotten distracted.

".........'Mansion basement'?... Understood, I will try my very best to find your Empty Disk, Mr.Salesman, I can't resist a good bargain,"

...

River Person begins wondering if the Empty Disk is in True Labs or the horrible basement of New Home, both options are equally terrifying.

....However, there IS ALSO the basement at Papyrus's and Sans's house, it's not a mansion, but hopefully it's there instead, fingers crossed.🤞

[discardedpawns]

13. how often does your muse dream? are they mostly pleasant or is their sleep more likely to be filled with nightmares?

For both of the blorbos !

Jevil:

Jevil is a very heavy dreamer, though unfortunately he is normally plagued by nightmares of the past or nightmares of things to come if he ends up losing control of himself again in his fits of madness. In those kind of dreams he'll always be coated in someone else's blood by the end of them. Though if sleeping next to someone he cares about he can escape his own dreamscape and enter theirs and have a more peaceful night's sleep.

Spamton:

Spamton is the opposite of Jevil in which he doesn't dream, for him it's either tv static or he somehow picks up signals from nearby tv/radio towers and will see/hear whatever it is they're playing at that time. If he does want to "dream" he'll turn on his tv and proceed to dream of whatever he put on that night.