#spongebob is SO SWEET and maybe squidward CAN be kind and maybe friendship is what matters most

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

sometimes really really stupid things make me cry

[kerenitychan]

this is stupid lol but like , i've been drawing everybody wearing the friendship bracelets so i feel like i owe y'all an explanation as to why the *fuck* squid would be wearing/have made one in the first place. i'm still working of a picture of the gang actually making them but yeah. basically the friendship bracelets act as a "you see this squid? , this is a symbol of you're stuck with us and we have your own permission to kick your butt if you act like a jerk" they don't wear them a lot cus, ya know all them bracelets can be kinda uncomfortable and annoying but they do wear em every now and then especially when they've planned an outing cus friendshippp

" BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! " Squidward heaved , trying to catch the breath he lost in his tantrum as he defeatedly locked eyes with the man before him . Spongebob scoffed. He wasn't even sure anymore when the fight started or what it was about but it sounded like his teal haired opponent was reduced to his last trump card, again. The one he knew would usually defeat the sponge, but not this time. He was so tired of this. " Yeah yeah I know, *hmpf* 'you don't really hate me' even if you regularly remind me. And maybe somewhere deep down you can stand me. I get it Squid you have that revelation twice a year, it's getting old. " He sighed crossing his arms as he tore away his gaze to look at the floor in disappointment whilst the other blinked before reaching out, more in an attempt to materialize answers from thin air then anything else, as he started again, still panicked and frustrated. " H- no! It's not....Agh! Look I don't! UGH  why do you have to make this so DIFFICULT! " " I'M making this difficult!? This ...this-this SHERADE has been going on for 10 years squidward! " Cerulean eyes pierced trough carmine ones with a look of rage, confusion, and frustration as the man threw up his freckled arms in desperation before they slunk back to his sides with a huff of defeat. To which the guilty scowl on the cephalopods face deepened. " Look I-ugh. I was TRYING to say that I like you. Not just that I don't hate you, which I also don't... do? Too many negatives. ANYWAY...I...I uhm....I don't like admitting defeat I- I uh, I guess... ehm an-  and I have a  hard time accepting things sometimes ... and I guess- I guess I just bottle things up until I explode... " He grimaced and looked around, vaguely gesturing . " Which is why we're discussing this stuff at 3 AM in the pattyvault instead of at home like normal people, ...I guess. " Sponge blinked a bit snapping out of it...oh yeah, right, squid was sneaking out and eating patties behind everyone's backs instead of ordering one every now and then like a ding dang normal person because for SOME INSANE REASON  he seems to insist people will ... will... NEPTUNE KNOWS WHAT HE THINKS PEOPLE WILL DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT HE LIKES PATTIES! HE'S JUST BEING SO- SO ARGHHHG! That last grunt escaped it's mental confides and rolled out between the gap of his buckteeth. " I just. I don't get it Squidward you ALWAYS do this. With everything!!! With anything you KNOW is fun!!! With everyone you know you actually like!!!  with....     With me...  Forget it, I'm just gonna...  go count the sesame seeds, I suppose.  Just... Don't fill up on patties until you explode again. " He turned around shaking his head with a sigh to head to his destination, but was brought to a halt by a suction cupped hand wrapping around his wrist " Spongebob wait!" A sigh. A grimace. A deep breath. " I. Am. Sssorry.  There, I said it, I'm sorry! I don't want whatever this is to keep going either! I just.... I am.... I am afraid of change, I guess?  You always say things will be fine but what if they're not???  I'm not lucky like you Sponge!  Destiny always seems to want good things for you but my karma is ATROCIOUS.  KELP! I could land in a hospital just for thinking about my karma! "  " Well then that's even more reason to try!!! Your "karma" wont get better if you don't! " " Ugggghhh I, You- This-  GAH! Can we talk about this some other time!? All I'm gonna get out at this rate  is more nonsensical rambling I'm gonna regret saying because: It's LATE, I'm EXHAUSTED and I STILL haven't     had a darn krabby patty! " " Then just eat the darn thing and get on with it because I'm not letting you chicken out again! "  " Can you at least close the door for a minute and give me some privacy! "  " YOU ARE GOING TO EAT A 🐬ING BURGER,WHAT PRIVACY!? " Oh... wow... a... that was... that was a swear. ....Spongebob just swore. ......uh-oh. Squid's really gotten himself thrown in the deep end now. He gulped nervously before submissively nodding and taking a bite of his burger... oh sweet mother of pearl it was good!  Neptune! Why does he always deprive himself of things he wants so bad?  Oh, right. Because he always has to make a big show of telling everyone that he actually hates the things he likes and he would DIE of mortification if he ended up having to admit defeat like a.... like a loser. With a light shake of his head he brushes off the thoughts and focuses on savoring the taste of his burger... 1 because he really needed one and wants to enjoy it. And 2 because ...ehm... he's a tad scared for what awaits him when he's finished. Spongebob was rarely enraged to the point of screaming,.. to the point of swearing and when he was he was a force to be reckoned with, Squidward knew that much. He peeked over in between bites to see his colleague standing there, arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot, he was scowling so hard his buckteeth were hidden behind a pout and his eyes were squinted to half their normal size.  " How is it? " It was near impossible to gauge what kind of reaction the blonde wanted by his intonation, he was curt, near emotionless, ... Sarcastic? Squidward gulped down what he was chewing and smiled sheepishly.  " Just as good as I remember...heh. " " Hmmhmm. I bet. " Oh boy. With another awkward chuckle squid finished his burger before taking a deep breath.  " Had your fill? " " Heh, eh y-yeah. I kinda want more but I don't want a repeat of the last time. " " 3 times. " " H-huh? " " you loaded up on patties until you had to be hospitalized THREE TIMES. " The freckled man's gaze got the octopus who normally towered over him shrinking in shame before him. Just a little short of going into a fetal position.

" Why do you do this Squidward? What on earth does karma have to do with you being a stubborn seamule about things until they go horribly wrong!?  You could just order a damn patty every now and then, EVERYBODY loves krabby patties, no one would blame you! But no mr. Tentacles is too good for a krabby patty, mr. Tentacles would rather be miserable until         the kettle boils over and he loses control! " That got a huff out of the other who gathered some courage to stand up straight and glare back. " That mocking mr. Tentacles talk is exactly why! Because I am trying to uphold an image here, and the moment I don't live up to it I know damn well that everybody here will jump on the opportunity to remind me that      I'm just a poser! That I'm not actually the hot shit I pretend I am! That I'm lucky they even tolerate me breathing the same water! That I should feel honored anyone is willing to admit they're acquainted with me! That   I don't actually have any talent! That I'm....that I'm just.... That I'm a nobody! A filthy peasant! A wannabe show-off! That I'm a-a ... a...  That I'm a LOSER.  " Squidward clenched his fists, sniffling trough heavy breaths, he's not sure when it happened but he started crying. Oh Neptune this is humiliating. He feels kinda dizzy, oh please don't ink! This is bad enough as it is! As he looked up defeatedly his eyes met blue ones, glittering from the moisture collecting in them as a scowl made way for a worried frown. Great, somehow sympathy felt worse then rage. " Squidward... " " No, please just...  don't. That's what I meant with 'I'm just going to ramble'. Pretend I didn't say anything. I gah- " He yelped as he suddenly found himself in a tight embrace. Of course. He grunted uncomfortably and squirmed a bit trying to break free from the surprisingly strong hold his normally rather weak companion had. " Sponge I'm serious let's just pretend tha- " " Nu-uh! We, we're done pretending anything! Squid please! Talk to me about these things! " Two watery blue eyes look up at him, accompanied by a deep frown and trembling lip that only deepen the pained feeling in the octopus's chest. " Please. I'm here for you Squidward. " Gahhhh why does he always! Why is this always so! And he just! And, oh blowfish. He's crying again. " That's the damn problem here ! You have Patrick and Sandy and your parents and whatever stupid friends you made in your clubs to fall back on if you mess up! I..... " He sighs and against his better judgements, feels himself lamely hugging back, tiredly resting his chin in fluffy bottle blonde hair as he looks up at nothing. " I can't go to mother, she's not getting any younger and she's worried about me enough as it is, I can't stress her out more....  Father would just tell me to stop being a baby and man up... he'd mean it well but that doesn't mean it's any help. And "friends" I have acquaintances I guess, people I know by name that are willing to say hello to me.... I used to think Eugene was my friend but he's chosen being a boss over being a companion time and time again  so... I only really have only one friend... and he's used to me not treating him as one. So what if.... what if I did make an effort? And he starts expecting things from me, but I start chickening out or relapsing or decide I can't do it after all and he finally gives up on me!? I wouldn't blame him... I would have given up on me years ago... but I'm not sure what I'd do when I end up being completely on my own in this ..." Oh jeez... now Sponge feels bad. Obviously Squid has been struggling with this for a long time, he could tell he'd been struggling with his own happiness ever since he met him really... he pouts and gives his tall friend a comforting squeeze. " Well... have you tried talking to him about it? " A lame chuckle was the response before  he was slightly pushed back so the teal haired man could look at him with an awkward lopsided smile and a shrug. " I'm trying to right now. Heh. " A blink. 'Trying to right now'? Another blink. 'Only one friend that's used to not being treated as one' ? The gears in his spongey head were turning. 'I would have given up on me years ago'? With one more blink the short man started looking around wide eyed before carefully pointing at himself with a trembling hand. " Muh... me? " " No I'm talking about the krabby patty. yes you! Ever since you moved in next door... well before that really, ever since your little weirdo butt started "growing his first house" next-door you've been pestering me day  and night! With your incessant laughter and unconstrained joy and endless creativity and unmatched imagination and- and... and I just... I just... I kinda wish I could have been a part of it...  without having to be the mature adult that's too good for your childish games I guess? " Squid shrugged sadly before his friend released his grip on the hug, to instead take hold of his hands and make determined eye-contact. " You still can be part of it squidward... it's not too late, I told you didn't I? You're one of my best friends, I'll always have your back. You don't have to act a certain way or do specific stuff to be a mature adult you know? I've seen you Happy and exited before.... not as often as I'd like. But that's when you feel most you  when you're in a good mood and forget about who you 'should be ' for a moment.... I want to help you feel like that more often. " A soft sad chuckle left the octopus who shook his head and rubbed his teary eyes with his free hand. " You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. " " I think I've got a pretty good idea. " He chuckled back with a playful look. " Wait hold up I have an idea! " " Huh? What are you doing? " Squid blinked watching his...friend. Yeah, his friend. As he fumbled with something on his wrist before tugging at squid's arm. " Now, I want this one back because Patrick made it for me but that's gonna be our first friendship exercise! " He beamed a shiny bucktooth grin revealing the colorful macrame bracelet he transferred to the other's wrist. " Tomorrow you me and Pat are gonna get together and we're making this friendship official with a 3 people set! Oh maybe we could finally convince sandy to join, she never wants to do crafts with us.  She always says it's boring and starts karate chopping everything." " Wait- hold up, what? Friendship exercise? Official? Crafts? Karate chopping? " " Well yeah! I told you mister! No more pretending anything, we're gonna go out there as friends and you can be tsundere about it all you want but that's final " " I can be what about it???? Wait no never-mind that! Look don't you think you're going a bit fast here???? Do we have to do this, like... now??? And so... publicly???? " " Yesss we dooooooo~ " The blonde singsonged as he playfully flicked the other's nose " No more snail-footing around squidward! You're miserable and as your friend it is my duty to help fix that! So starting tomorrow we're doing this friend thing and you're gonna try or so help me I WILL get the                   ticklebelt! Nyahahahaha! " A sigh turned into a chuckle as Squid shook his head before he erupted in laughter along with his freckled friend... oh boy. What has he gotten himself into now??? " Hawhawhaw! " " Nyahahahaha! " " Hawhawhaw! " " Nyahaha. But seriously, I will. I  know where they keep the spare key to the mermalair. " " Huh? "        

[haunteddonuts-blog]

dear mom,

i'm not doing poorly in school because i can't handle school and volleyball at the same time; it's because i'm emotionally drained once i get there. seeing the same faces everyday is a constant reminder of the mindsets of those around me. they're against everything good and are so filled with hate, as i'm sure you know. i get that politics shouldn't interfere with my friendships, but i can't help it when every single person at my school is against everything i stand for. women should have equal rights, not because we are a sister, a wife, a mother, or a daughter, but because we are humans. muslims and people of religions other than christianity should be allowed to wear a hijab with no ridicule and shouldn't be appropriated not because of everything their ancestors have been through but because they are humans, today, not in the past or future. black men and women and people of other identifications should not be called n***ers by anyone of any color -- be it caucasian, hispanic, asian, or other descents. and it's not because "black people just make up words only they should use" it's because there is HISTORY behind it. history that no white boy at my school is willing to acknowledge. do you know what happened today at school? two white boys (trump supporters of course, like every other person at my school) said we should whip people and taze them for a project if we were the government dealing with refugees. whip and taze. one of them even suggested holding a metal board to them and tazing them once so it spread. obviously i couldn't say nothing, but i had to be careful about what i said because i don't want to become more antisocial than i already am, so i said, "of course only white boys would make such sick jokes" and they responded with "??? you're not black" LIKE THEY ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THE HISTORY BEHIND WHIPPING BUT DIDNT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK. MOM. MOM MOM MOM. LISTEN. THEY DONT CARE. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. another day, the sweetest little seventh grade boy, robert, was walking by our lunch tables. he's super sweet and is a bit larger than other kids, but why should that matter? this boy, peyton fucking trump supporter fucking baucom said, "hey fatass" to robert. why? why why why why why why why ???????????? i don't know. i don't get it. they haven't ever spoken to each other before, so why on earth was he compelled to say such a gross remark. robert didn't know how to respond, so he just frowned at himself and kept on walking. sad enough, right? wrong. robert is autistic and cannot easily verbally communicate. obviously i wasn't going to stand for this, so i got our vice principal and explained what happened (substituting fatass for fatty). mr chandler talked to peyton at his table, then walked off. obviously, it appeared nothing had been done, so i told the teacher in charge of his class. she seemed beyond pissed, so i thought something would actually happen. instead, she got mr chandler. chandler said he had it handled. while walking by the office later, i saw peyton leave -- with a smile. good job, chandler !! quite the damn good job you did !! you know who else did something utterly gross? matthew fucking probably most likely indeed a trump supporter fucking baucom. what's with these baucoms? they're all over the place and each one is getting on my last. fucking. nerve. it turns out he and one of his buddies made fun of robert too. i don't know the kid and i don't know his friend, but for some reason people like to report these things to me? maybe it's because i express my sadness through anger, and they really want to see me punch a kid. to be quite honest, i've been ready to punch any kid at my school for the last few months. i've been holding back because it won't look good on my record when i apply to duke or some other pristine school, now will it? sometimes i rethink it. maybe if they knew about what kind of kids i'm up against, they'd understand. i know i should be against violence, but what am i to do? how do i express myself in a healthy way? i've been thinking about kickboxing -- but i'm a lazy fatass who can hardly play volleyball, and we are poor as fuck so i have no means in getting lessons. throwing a punch at anything would feel good at this point. a few times now i've had to walk by people clenching my fist and holding my hand to my side. peyton baucom's one of them -- i see him too often. another is bryson williams ? wow could that kid stop being a bother. according to my seventh grade sources, nobody really likes him except people who are annoying like him too. he calls people autistic whores like it's some insult. why? where did he get the idea that being autistic is something bad? just knowing he calls people that makes me want to throttle him. one girl in my grade, ariyaunna (sp?) posted a picture on her instagram. it said, "when a white boy is shooting up the school and the autistic kid runs to it thinking its music" with that one scene of spongebob where squidward is running like a maniac. why? why is that funny? i don't get it. we're surrounded by racist, sexist, islamophobic, homophobic, antisemitic bigots, and you are just going along with them. i know it's wrong to think that because she's black she would differ herself from these people, but honestly, nearly everyone in our school is racist and you have to show the same behaviors but towards the autistic? i guess i just thought that you'd understand the feeling and wouldn't want anyone else to feel the same way -- but obviously, in wrong again, for thinking anyone in my damn school has morals. kids call me a baby slaughterer for supporting abortion, and i know you already know that. what's sad is i can only tell you about the smallest parts of my awful time at school. sure, kids call me a baby slaughterer, but i handled that with a somewhat intelligent essay, and the boy's have even held up their part of the bargain where we don't get into political messes anymore. but that's not the biggest issue anymore. the biggest issue is that my brother is autistic. not many people outside of my global studies class know since i did a presentation about autism and had to explain that i did the project to get a better understanding of how my brother's mind works, and so not many people know of how strongly against bullying of any form (racism, sexism, antisemitism, fascism, islamophobia, homophobia, etc.) i am. even though everyone should be against these basic forms of bullying, these kids grew up surrounded by these disgusting jokes. i get that, i really do, but mom, i need someone or something to vent to. i'm tired of bottling up my feelings but if i share these with you then you'll only worry more about luke at school and if kids are being like this to him, and i don't want that. i want everyone to be happy, but how can i focus on keeping everyone happy when i'm barely focusing on myself? i can't focus on school, volleyball, or my own health and well being with these pigs attending my school. to be honest, i cannot WAIT to attend the boarding school we've been talking about in junior year. it's in the city and its away from the uneducated people i'm constantly surrounded by !! the bummer is that even though i'm surrounded by morons for the most part, i've become super close friends with the few who don't support trump and the nonsense he spews, and i don't want to leave them. grace is moving anyways to be homeschooled, but i'm still able to see her three times a week, and me living three hours away in the city would make it only possible to see each other every few weekends. and connor? he's a lost gay boy stranded in Homophobia City. grace and i are his only true friends that he's come out to -- and how is he supposed to continue to grow without supportive friends ? not to mention he lives in a strict christian household who believes homosexuality is wrong. kiersten is looking for herself whom she lost a way long time ago, and being surrounded by trump supporters only reminds her of the man who supports rape, and the men who support him that have raped her. i don't know how to go on. i know that they may not necessarily need me, but for all hell's sake do i need them. they keep me sane. they keep me happy. they keep me from doing things that i tell myself i won't regret but probably will. i need them, so much. i don't know anymore. i know i don't have to make any decision right away, but my brain is scrambled, and i'm an emotional wreck. even though my friends love me and i love them just as much (if not more), i don't want to burden them with all this pessimism. i hate being pessimistic or negative or anything because it's everything i don't like. i even hate hating people or things !! to be honest, i hate myself because i hate everything, and i don't even get that ?? like how does that make sense ??????? i hate peyton baucom, matthew baucom, aireyaunna deese, and darin fucking brown. nobody can annoy me more than the one and only, darin motherfucking trump fucking supporter fucking gregory fucking brown. i have never been more annoyed by anyone --------- E V E R. how does he do it ?? how does he manage to be everything i hate in one dense moron package ? shivalee once said we're practically each other but as the opposite sex, and i kind of understood it because if i hate myself, then it would make sense for why i hate him, but i hate him for totally different reasons !! i'm negative and pessimistic as hell no matter how much i sing and annoy people with my smile to hide it, but darin brown is a misogynistic, racist, sexist, apathetic bigot. once, in global studies, we had to make a play with a partner with just one line per each of us. with his partner, they performed a suicide. his partner said, "no, juanita, don't do it," then darin said, "why? i have no meaning to life" and proceeded to jump off his chair. mom, i'm so sick of everything. that one time i told you i wanted to die? that i was kind of done with this life? i was serious. i know i told dad later that it was just me wanting attention, but in that moment i was completely and totally serious. i saw no point in doing anything because i felt totally and utterly powerless. i'm stuck, doing the same routine every week with the same people who make me want to cry, and i don't ever leave the house "just because." i want to go on a walk miles away from the house, i want to walk all the way to a center that provides the kind of thought process i support, antitrump. i'm not doing anything, sitting at home, crying while typing letters to people who will never receive them about how antitrump i am. i'm all talk, no bite. i want to go to a rally and tell the part of america that supports trump, "fuck you" and take a stand. people tire me, and i'm done being tired. i want an eventful life that provides me with everything i want to create, invent, and just be. your one and only, most needy and annoying daughter, alexandra xoxo