#squaridot is beautiful

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 24: The Gem-Lympics (originally posted on June 5, 2023)

AN: It may not look like it, but this shall be the final fun episode of Little Homeworld Life that I've talked so much about for the past few chapters. Afterwards, Black Rutile finally enacts her master plan and the Crystal Gems' bonds are put to the test, especially when one of their own betrays them for the Rutile Rebels after some long-forgotten secrets are brought to light. But enough about that, let's have some Laff-A-Lympic fun!

Synopsis: Little Homeworld has its own Olympics.

Cast:

Noél Wells as Black Rutile

Idina Menzel as Amazonite

Halsey as Tanzanite

Mia Barron as Apatite

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Michaela Dietz as Tiger's Eye, Amethyst, Famethyst

Estelle as Garnet

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball, The Black Pearl Brigade

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Carnelian, Skinny Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Jon Wurster as Marty

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Shanelle Grey as Sally Grove

Matthew Rhys as James Brenner

Kari Wahgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

--

In the center of a small, homemade stadium outside of Little Homeworld, a grand sporting event for the ages was about to take place. Beneath a large torch peeking out of the stadium's open-air roof, two teams of Gem athletes stood side by side for the pleasure of a cheering crowd of Gems and humans alike. On one side, Black Rutile, Cat's Eye, Amazonite, Tanzanite, and Apatite stood together, flying the flag of the Rutile Rebels. On the other side, Desert Glass, Albite, Serpentine, Tiger's Eye, and Beryl assembled under the banner of the Crystal Gems. The Gem-Lympics had officially begun.

"Good day, America, and welcome to the first official Gem-Lympics!" Pearl, the commentator, declared as she and Garnet provided commentary for the event. "I'm Pearl, standing here with my cohost Garnet to report on the opening ceremonies as we welcome our competitors to the field."

"That's right, Pearl." Garnet added. "For those wondering what the Gem-Lympics is, it's basically the Olympics but with Gems competing instead of humans. Two teams of five shall compete, with each member from both teams going head-to-head in five different sports. Me, Pearl, and Amethyst shall serve as the judges for each event and rate every competitor's performance on a scale from one to ten. Whichever team wins the most points shall win the competition."

"And now, here's a performance by Amethyst to conclude the opening ceremonies." Pearl declared as Amethyst stepped up to the stadium field with a microphone in hand and started to sing.

"Ave Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena. Maria, gratia plena." Amethyst sang for the now silent spectators. "Ave, ave dominus. Dominus tecum, benedicta tu in mulieribus. Et benedictus, benedictus fructus, fructus ventris. Ventris tui, Jesus."

"Wow, she has a surprisingly beautiful voice." Cat's Eye commented on Amethyst's singing as Team Black Rutile huddled up.

"Ladies, I have gathered you here on this momentous occasion, for you represent the best, the brightest, the only ones who were willing to join my team." Black Rutile stated. "I tried asking everyone else, but Aquamarine & Eyeball were too busy, Holly Blue found this to be totally ridiculous, and Cinnabar & Andesine were more focused on getting acquainted with Earth."

"So, what are your goals for this Olympic contest?" Amazonite asked. "Do you perhaps plan on rigging the events in our favor or maybe frame the opponents for cheating?"

"No, far from that." Black Rutile answered. "In fact, we are going to play by the rules, and I use the term loosely, and we'll play so properly that the opposing team will be accused of cheating!"

"Wait, this is your plan now?" Tanzanite groaned in disgust. "I've been told you really love making everything super complex, but this is just taking it too far."

"I agree; this is bad comedy." Apatite agreed. "Don't know why I bothered agreeing to this."

"Hey, chill out, everyone; I know exactly what I'm doing!" Black Rutile proudly replied just as Amethyst finished singing, signifying that the games were about to begin. "Now then, try and look as inconspicuous as possible, and the gold is as good as ours!"

--

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our first event of the games!" Bismuth exclaimed into a microphone as she stood on a gymnastics mat with Cat's Eye and Tiger's Eye standing on either side of it. Cat's Eye had doffed her fancy hat and trenchcoat in favor of a yellowish-brown gymnastic leotard and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Tiger's Eye wore similar attire, with her leotard having a white stripe going up her arms and around her neck, along with white and pink stripes around her torso. "For our first event, we got these two cool cats going head-to-head in rhythmic gymnastics! As I'm sure you're informed, whoever gets a higher score will win!"

"Hey, may the best Gem win, Cat." Tiger's Eye warmly said to Cat's Eye.

"Well, face it, Tiger, I'm due to hit the jackpot." Cat smugly replied with a smirk.

"And to set the mood, we present some music from the Japanese electro-swing rock band, MAD RAT DEAD," Bismuth said while pulling out a boombox and pressing play, cuing the event to begin as Cat and Tiger started showing their gymnastic prowess for the crowd. Fittingly enough, the song 'Black Fear' sounded like a cat meowing, befitting the two feline-like Gems competing against each other.

"Puh-lease, I can do so much better!" Cat's Eye scoffed at Tiger's Eye, eating up the cheering before she pulled her riding crop from her gem and turned it into a ribbon wand to dance with. "My athletic skills are far superior to yours!"

"Oh yeah? Well, two can play at that game!" Tiger replied as she pulled a bo staff from her Gem and broke it in two, turning the staff into a pair of batons for her to use in her act. "You're not the only one planning to use your weapon like this." The contest then began heating up between the two, with their acrobatic acts becoming increasingly over the top as the cat Gems tried to outdo each other. Tiger's Eye sprang into the air and struck various poses to the amazement of her fans. Meanwhile, Cat's Eye remained on the ground and did some genuinely spellbinding stunts with her ribbon dancing.

"2, 4, 6, 8, which of these cats is doing great?!" a cheering squad consisting of Lapis, Laz, Zuli, the Diamonds' Pearls, and the Black Pearl Brigade chanted before the song reached its end, leaving the stadium quiet as the judges made their decision.

"Please pick me; please pick me!" Cat chanted to herself with fingers crossed.

"Don't get yourself too excited." Tiger rolled her eyes with a smile.

"We've come to an agreement." Garnet proclaimed. "Tiger's Eye, though you showed excellent skill and agility, we'll ultimately have to give the gold medal to Cat's Eye for her extensive creativity with the ribbon."

"YES! YEEEESSSS!" Cat's Eye shrieked with delight and mockingly pointed at Tiger's Eye. "In your face Tiger, I'm way more creative than you! How does that feel?!" Despite her taunting laughter, Tiger's Eye took her loss in stride and shook her opponent's hand.

"Hey, good game." Tiger declared. "Maybe if we ever do this again, we can have a little rematch."

"We'll see," Cat replied as she accepted Tiger's handshake while waving to Black Rutile, hiding in the audience, who was very satisfied with what she had witnessed.

"I can't believe we're being forced to do this," Aquamarine complained as she sat next to Eyeball in the stands. "What's even the point of such a silly event?!"

"Oh, hush up, my plan is positively foolproof!" Black Rutile declared. "You're just jealous that you couldn't come up with anything better!"

"They're going to catch on eventually," Eyeball replied. "I feel like your new plan now is just a bunch of random events being strung together by complete coincidence!"

"I'm only biding my time by keeping everyone distracted and building up my follower-base." Black Rutile explained. "Once all the pieces are on the board, I can take the Crystal Gems by surprise. After all, the best puppeteers never use strings."

"Guacola, get your Guacola here!" Marty yelled as he tried selling his disgusting wares to the public, even though nobody would either buy it or even be able to taste it. "Come on, help a man out, will ya?!"

"Oh, Marty, fancy seeing you here!" Black Rutile cheerfully greeted her human second in command. "Still selling that disgusting drink, I see."

"It's a sporting event; I have to!" Marty complained. "But nobody's buying! I swear I made it less vomitrocious this time!"

"Once done, never forgotten, as they say." Black Rutile responded.

--

Later that day, Apatite and Desert Glass were standing side by side on a running track while Peridot stood beside the track with a starting pistol. "Okay, ladies, welcome to the 400-meter run!" Peridot declared. "First one to make it the whole way through is the winner!"

"Why did I get selected for this event?" Apatite asked while looking over at Desert Glass doing some stretches at the starting line. "Well, regardless, good luck out there, Glass."

"Thank you so much; I wish you luck too." Desert Glass said politely. "Provided there aren't any dangerous obstacles in our way."

"Are you ready?!" Peridot yelled as the two Gems got into starting position. "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready; now go, Gems, go!" When Peridot fired the starting pistol, Desert Glass and Apatite ran like the wind. Four hundred meters was a very trying length, but everyone was on the edge of their seat regardless. However, a shocking turn of events came partway through, around 250 meters.

Apatite, who was already lagging behind Desert Glass, began to lose breath and panted harshly as her competition sped by with grace. "You know what? Screw you guys; I'm going home." She declared before shuffling off the running track and towards the stadium exit. "I don't get enough time for this."

"Hey, get back here; the race isn't finished yet!" Peridot yelled after Apatite, but she was too far away to listen. "Ah, forget it; she didn't care anyways." Behind her back, Desert Glass had just crossed the finish line, making Peridot realize she still had a race to observe. "And the winner is Desert Glass!"

"Oh, thank you, thank you all!" Desert Glass exclaimed as the crowd began cheering for her victory. "You're all too kind!"

"I knew she was a liability." Black Rutile facepalmed in disgust at Apatite giving up so soon. "Maybe I should've had someone else instead of her, like Holly Blue or something. At least she wouldn't surrender so easily."

--

In the next event, Albite and Tanzanite stood face to face on opposing sides of a ping pong table while White Topaz stood over the table. "You know the drill by now, everyone; the first one to score the most points wins!"

"Ping pong? Not the sport I expected to compete in, but I plan to have fun nonetheless." Albite muttered while contemplating her ping-pong paddle.

"Child's play." Tanzanite scoffed arrogantly. "I was a master assassin turned soldier during the Rebellion and Pearl's apprentice. This should be easy."

"Don't get too cocky!" Albite declared. "You should know I was a veteran gladiator before joining the Crystal Gems! My combat expertise far excels yours!"

"Are you two just going to keep smack-talking each other, or are you going to play?" White Topaz interrupted the two competitors. "We're wasting daylight here!"

"Right, sorry." Albite apologized to the other white Gem. "Hopefully, I've watched enough of that ping-pong anime to know what to do here."

"Are you ready?" White Topaz announced. "Now go!" The game got off to a rousing start. Though both competitors knew little of the sport they were playing, they were driven by their desire to win above all else. Eventually, it came down to the wire as Tanzanite was just one point shy of winning the game.

"Okay, Tanzy, just gotta score this one last point, and hopefully, I'll prove to the Crystal Gems that they were so wrong for lying to me," Tanzanite muttered to herself while keeping her eye on the ball. "Think of this like taking down a rogue Gem back in your assassin days, and you'll do fine." Tanzanite threw the ball onto the table and smacked it toward Albite, and she thought she had this game in the bag, but she was too distracted by her own hype to notice that Albite had her beat and got a ping pong ball in the eye for it.

"And the winner is Albite!" White Topaz cheered. "Sorry, Tanzanite, you were too consumed by your own hype to notice."

"I AM THE HYPE!" Tanzanite yelled in disgust as she got up and took the ball out of her eye. "This is an outrage, I tell you, an outrage!"

"When I came all the way from Ocean Town, I expected a gathering of idiots, not a rip-off of the Olympics!" Sally Grove complained just as much as she sat in the stands next to Emerald. "So, what's your story?"

"I wasn't selected to join Black Rutile's team because she thought I wasn't all that athletic," Emerald stated. "Can you believe it?! I'm perfectly athletic; I just haven't had time to get out and work out much lately!"

--

For the penultimate event, a pair of targets were set up for Beryl and Amazonite to work with as they held bows and arrows in their hands. In this event, they were competing in archery.

"Archery, eh? How quaint." Amazonite mused while looking back and forth between her bow and Beryl. "Don't think this is any old sport, little Beryl. It takes skill, focus, and utmost precision to become a master. There are stories of a human named Robin Hood who was especially gifted with this weapon, and he used it as a swashbuckling hero of legend who gave to the poor what he stole from the-you're not listening, are you?"

Beryl was indeed not paying attention to Amazonite's speech. Instead, she focused more on playing with her arrows and plucking at her bowstring like a guitar. "Don't touch that!" Amazonite yelled as she snatched the bow away from Beryl. "That string is very delicate; your entire performance depends on it!"

"Can we please get on with it?" Jasper asked Amazonite. "We're wasting so much time here! Now then, are we ready?"

"Ready!" Amazonite and Beryl declared as they readied their arrows.

"Go!" Jasper yelled, cuing the two to fire at the targets. Surprisingly, Amazonite fired her arrow straight at the bullseye while Beryl struggled to do the same. Feeling confident in herself, Amazonite strode down the archery range and began firing at every other target present with the exact precision she spoke of earlier, making everybody wonder if that was allowed.

"Wow, Amazonite really did it." Jasper gawked at Amazonite's skill with a bow and arrow before turning to Beryl. "Can Beryl come up to par?" Although Beryl felt a little jealous of how easily Amazonite pulled off her stunt, she still tried her best regardless by imitating her opponent's feat. While she did land a few hits, ultimately, Beryl lost to the superior archer Gem.

"Oh well, looks like you won." Beryl good-naturedly said to Amazonite and stuck up her little hand to shake with. "Good game."

"Perhaps if we weren't on opposing sides, I'd teach you how to shoot an arrow properly," Amazonite said as she accepted the handshake. "But for now, I'll give you at least one tip." She added before kneeling to the tiny Gem's height. "To successfully make a shot, you gotta follow and master basic steps. Your stance is the foundation. Where you draw your strength. Nock the arrow and grip. Realize you are wielding a weapon. Mindset. Focus solely on your goal, regardless of your surroundings. Be in the now. Set up and draw."

"Wow, thanks, Amy!" Beryl exclaimed as she hugged Amazonite's leg, making her blush in surprise while everyone awww'd.

"Now that's just wholesome." James Brenner commented on the heartwarming sight before discovering that Black Rutile glared at him. "What?"

"It won't matter anyways; I'm next." Black Rutile stated as she got up and walked away to prepare for the final event. "Once everyone sees my excellent performance against Serpentine, they will be all over me."

"Are you still sure this is a good idea in service of your revenge plot?" James asked Black Rutile while grabbing onto her wrist. "My aunt once stated that revenge is like a poison. It can take you over, and before you know it, it can turn you into something ugly."

"Don't bother me with your sympathy." Black Rutile said, pulling herself out of her psychologist's grasp. "Are you questioning me, doctor?"

"No, my Rutile," James muttered fearfully before he watched Black Rutile leave the stands. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely, as they say."

--

"Welcome everybody to the final event of the games!" Garnet announced. "For our grand finale, the final members of each team will compete in fencing, and whoever is the victor shall win the Gem-Lympics! Team Black Rutile has managed to win three events out of five, but can Team Desert Glass edge out a tie? We shall see. Competitors, approach!"

Black Rutile and Serpentine marched toward each other with swords in hand, ready for a fight. Serpentine carried a saber, while Black Rutile equipped herself with her sword. "We meet again, old friend." Black Rutile declared while pointing her sword at her opponent.

"Likewise, old friend," Serpentine replied. "Fear me if you dare!"

"Hope you two are ready!" Garnet announced. "Now go!" The two Gems lunged at each other and clashed weapons, old friends being pitted against each other as current enemies. "Let's see who will possibly take home one last medal!"

"Go go, Serpentine, make her hiss!" Lapis and her cheering squad chanted as Serpentine jabbed Black Rutile with her saber.

"Remember when we experimented on the Vortexxer together?!" Serpentine asked as she swiftly dodged Black Rutile's attacks. "I couldn't believe it when you dug up that old thing and finished what the two of us and Bloodstone started! And, of course, you had to use it for evil!"

"I don't consider myself fully evil; I'm nuanced!" Black Rutile declared herself. "If only you could see that I'm just doing what I think is right for all of us, especially you! Why don't you get that?!"

"You're a wanted terrorist doing time here; how can I not disagree with you?!" Serpentine argued back. "Admit it; you're too upset about the change to admit how flawed your worldview is! You keep accusing Steven and Pink Diamond of being infantile to project how infantile you are onto them!"

Enraged at such an accusation, Black Rutile grabbed the hilt of her sword with both hands and knocked Serpentine's weapon out of her hands before doing a sweeping low kick that sent her tumbling to the ground. "Touché!"

"And the winner is Black Rutile!" Garnet exclaimed, and there was much rejoicing. "I'm surprised, Black Rutile, you didn't cheat once and played fair. That is so unlike you."

However, Black Rutile wasn't delighted with the outcome. "THAT WAS EXACTLY MY PLAN; I WAS GOING TO PLAY SO FAIRLY THAT THE OTHER TEAM WOULD BE DISQUALIFIED FOR CHEATING!" she screamed angrily. "WHY DO BARELY ANY OF MY PLANS EVER GO THE WAY I WANT THEM TO GO?!"

"Oh dear, she's really mad," Garnet muttered nervously. "Let's just cut to the awards ceremony and end this already."

--

At the awards ceremony, all the competitors received their medals for each event. The Rutile Rebels had won three medals thanks to Black Rutile, Cat's Eye, and Amazonite, while the Little Homeworld denizens had earned two medals for Albite and Desert Glass's victories. Despite Black Rutile's ranting and raving about how her current plan had gone up in smoke, the Rutile Rebels saw this as their first victory in a long while.

"Oh my stars, Black Rutile just won the Gem-Lympics!" Pyrope gasped in shock.

"Let's destroy this entire stadium to show our appreciation for the team!" Demantoid suggested eagerly, causing everybody in the stadium to riot and tear it apart.

"WOO, RIOT!" Carnelian hollered eagerly as she bit into the water cooler with a maniacal laugh and chugged the contents within.

"HEY, FLIP THE POOL!" Skinny Jasper added, and the Famethyst did just that even though none of the events involved swimming. "Thank you!" she said before one of the Amethysts set the pool on fire.

"This is getting completely out of hand!" Pearl yelled at the carnage around her. "I thought we were supposed to be a respectable sports competition; this is completely unacceptable!"

"Unacceptable? Did you see the pool?!" Amethyst added. "They flipped the bitch!"

"I'm not even sure why we had a pool here." Bismuth muttered as Garnet and Pearl turned around to give their final thoughts.

"Well, this has certainly been a unique experience," Pearl spoke into her microphone. "We hope you enjoyed the Gem-Lympics, sports fans, and we hope to do this again soon." She then turned to Garnet. "Garnet, are we broadcasting this on television or something?"

"I have no idea," Garnet replied. "I've just shapeshifted my fist into a microphone this whole time."

Suddenly, Squaridot was catapulted toward the camera, and she got up like nothing happened. "RIOT!"

--

Yeah, I didn't have that much going for this chapter, just giving some screentime to characters I was disappointed that I didn't focus on much. Plus, I barely know a thing about the Olympics other than the Mario and Sonic games and various TV shows that had episodes featuring the Olympics, like that one episode of The Simpsons where Marge becomes a curler and Lisa becomes obsessed with pins. But hopefully, we should be getting more of the likes of Desert Glass, James Brenner, Sally Grove, and all these other characters in the epic two-part finale coming soon! And be warned, this is going to be heavier than the last few chapters, so just wanted to keep you all warmed up.

[drawbauchery]

Have you thought that maybe... Just maybe... Squaridot might actually make a debut on the show soon??? Because... I'm dead if that happens.

don’t you get my hopes up. don’t do it

[maskedblackfox]

Cloud’s list of LGBT+ headcanons, as of 2017

(Warning; its really long)

Includes, but not limited to…

Dangan Ronpa

-Makoto Naegi-Demisexual Panromantic

-Byakuya Togami-Placiosexual Reciproromantic (Genderfluid)

-Kiyotaka Ishimaru-Bi (Prefers men) (Trans man)

-Leon Kuwata-Polysexual (Genderfluid)

-Mondo Owada-Bi (Trans man)

-Kyoko Kirigiri-Pansexual Abroromantic (Demigirl)

-Aoi Asahina-Cupiosexual Lesbian

-Toko Fukawa-Abrosexual Quoiromantic (Juxera/Non Binary)

-Genocider Syo-Bi

-Sakura Oogami-Demisexual Panromantic

-Celestia Ludenberg-Polysexual (Genderflux)

-Mukuro Ikusaba-Pan (Genderfluid)

-Chihiro Fujisaki-Pan (Trans boy)

-Hajime Hinata-Bi (Demiboy)

-Nagito Komaeda-Pan (Bigender)

-Gundam Tanaka-Demi (Trans man)

-Kazuichi Souda-Abro (Polygender)

-Teruteru Hanamura-Pan

-Akane Owari-Abrosexual Greyromantic

-Chiaki Nanami-Asexual Panromantic

-Sonia Nevermind-Bi

-Mikan Tsumiki-Requies

-Mahiru Koizumi-Greysexual Demiromantic (preference for girls)

-Peko Pekoyama-Bisexual Demiromantic

-Ibuki Mioda-Pan

-Yuta Asahina-Asexual Biromantic

-Hiroko Hagakure-Placiosexual Panromantic

-Taichi Fujisaki-Fraysexual Lithromantic

Chiyoko Fujisaki-Bi

-Masaru Daimon-Bi

Jataro Kemuri-Pan (Genderfluid)

Nagisa Shingetsu-Polysexual Demiromantic (Non Binary)

Monaka-Cupiosexual Demiromantic

-Kyosuke Munakata-Bi

-Juzo Sakakura-Gay

-Chisa Yukizome-Akoisexual panromantic

-Seiko Kimura-Reciprosexual Lesbian

-Miaya Gekougahara-Autochorissexual Placioromantic (Trans woman)

-Suichii Saihara-Bi

-Kaito Momota-Gay (Trans man)

-Tenko Chabashira-Sapphic

-Kirumi Toujo-Aro/Ace (Non Binary)

-Gonta Gakuhara-Pan

Pokemon (Human characters)

-Red (In game)-Pan

-Green/Blue/Gary Oak-Bi

-Misty-Pan

-Erica-Asexual Lesbian (Trans woman)

-Sabrina-Bisexual Demiromantic (Juxera)

-Bill-Gay

-Janine-Bi

-Koga-Aroflux

-Daisy-Lesbian (Trans woman)

-Lance-Bi

-Silver-Bi

-Falkner-Pan

-Bugsy-Gay

-Morty-Bi

-Eusine-Gay

-Clair-Abro

-Will-Frayromantic (Agender)

-Karen-Placio

-Dahlia-Quoiromantic Lesbian

-Ariana-Bi

-Archie-Bi

-Maxie-Gay (Trans man)

-Wally-Apothisexual Cupioromantic

-Matt-Gay

-Shelly-Bi

-Courtney-Ply (Demigirl)

-Tabitha-Arovague

-Roxannne-Greysexual

-Flannery-Lesbian

-Tate-Asexual (Solarian)

-Liza-Aromantic (Lunarian)

-Steven Stone-Bi

-Wallace-Gay

-Aster-Bi

-Zinnia-Pan

-Cynthia-Bi

-Cyrus-Apothisexual

-Gardenia-Asexual Cupioromantic

-Roark-Polygender

-Fantina-Lesbian (Genderqueer)

-Candice-Bi

-Mars-Bi

-Jupiter-Pan

-Saturn-Bisexual Aromantic

-Lucien-Akoisexual Demiromantic (Non Binary)

-Cheren-Bi

-Bianca-Placiosexual Lesbian

-Aurea Juniper-Bisexual Cupioromantic

-N Harmonia-Reciprosexual Panromantic (Genderfluid)

-Anthea-Bi

-Concordia-Pan

-Chili-Gay

-Cress-Trigender

-Elesa-Bi

-Skyla-Greysexual

-Roxie-Bi (Trans girl)

-Iris-Pan

-Shauntel-Bi

-Caitlin-Lesbian (Lunarian)

-Colress-Aro/Ace (Stellarian)

-Augustine Sycamore-Bi

-Lysandre-Abro

-Malva-Bisexual Quoiromantic

-Bryony-Bi

-Mable-Pan

-Shauna-Pan

-Korrina-Recipro

-Clemont-Akoisexual Reciproromantic

-Valerie-Bi

-Olympia-Lesbian

-Siebold-Asexual

-Drasna-Frayromantic

-Emma-Stellarian

Alexa-Lesbian (Demigirl)

-That one Beauty trainer from the Battle Mansion (Trans woman)

-AZ-Requies

-Professor Burnet-Reciprosexual Demiromantic

-Hau-Pan

-Gladion-Bi (Solarian)

-Lillie-Lesbian

-Ilima-Bi (Non Binary)

-Lana-Bi

-Mallow-Lesbian (Trans girl)

-Kiawe-Ply

-Acerola-Cupio

-Mina-Demi

-Olivia-Lesbian

-Hapu-Lesbian

-Kahili-Bi

-Plumeria-Greyromantic

-Faba-Gay

-Wicke-Lesbian

-Lusamine-Demisexual Nebularomantic (Lunarian)

-Dulse-Quoisexual

-Zossie-Greyromantic

-Soliera-Asexual

-Phyco-Lithro

-Jessie-Pan

-James-Bi (Genderfluid)

-Butch-Ply

-Cassidy-Bi

-Delia Ketchum-Bi

-Annie-Lesbian

-Oakley-Lesbian

-Hun-Gendervoid

-Harley-Gay

-Dawn-Pan

-Zoey-Lesbian

-Hunter J-Aro/Ace

-Nando-Polygender

-Burgundy-Acevague Lesbian

-Georgia-Lesbian

-Aldith-Bi

-Serena-Lesbian

-Miette-Bi

Steven Universe (Following the idea that genderless is cis for gems)

-Steven Universe-Asexual Panromantic

-Rose Quartz-Pan (Trans woman)

-Pearl-Bi (Prefers girls and nbs)

-Garnet-Aro/Ace

-Amethyst-Ply (Genderflux)

-Ruby-Lesbian

-Sapphire-Demi

-Peridot-Demi

-Lapis Lazuli-Fraysexual

-Jasper-Requiessexual Cupioromantic

-Bismuth-Lesbian

-Centipeedle-Asexual Demiromantic

-Doc-Abro

-Eyeball-Lesbian

-Army-Asexual

-Navy-Pan

-Leggy-Questioning

-Holly Blue Agate-Lithro

-Skinny Jasper-Bi

-Carnelian-Ply

-The rest of the Famethyst-Ranges from lesbian to pan depending on the amethyst

-The Topazes-Lesbians

-Aquamarine-Bi

-Hessonite-Lesbian

-Squaridot-Lithro

-Emerald-Queer

-Blue Zircon-Recipro

-Yellow Zircon-Placio

-Flourite-Pan

-Rutile-Demi

-Rhodenite-Lesbian

-Padparascha Sapphire-Nebularomantic

-Yellow Pearl-Asexual Panromantic

-Blue Pearl-Asexual Lesbian

-Yellow Diamond-Autochoris

-Blue Diamond-Requiesromantic

-Opal-Ply (Genderflux)

-Sugilite-Bi

-Alexandrite-Aromantic

-Stevonnie-Apothisexual (Bigender)

-Malachite-Aro/Ace

-Rainbow Quartz-Ply (Demigirl)

-Sardonyx-Lesbian

-Smoky Quartz-Pan (Genderqueer)

-Connie Mahaswaran-Demi

-Lars Barriga-Abro (Trans man)

-Sadie Miller-Bi

-Jenna-Asexual

-Kiki-Pan

-Sour Cream-Pan

-Vildalia-Bi

-Mystery Girl-Lesbian

Warrior Cats

-Thunderstar-Pan

-Owleyes-Gay

-Firstar-Pan

-Greystripe-Bi

-Bluestar-Bi

-Snowfur-Demi

-Sunstar-Gay

-Featherwhisker-Gay

-Rosetail-Demisexual Biromantic

-Whitestorm-Abro

-Lionheart-Gay

-Longtail-Bi

-Mousefur-Aro/Ace (Canon)

-Darkstripe-Gay

-Dappletail-Bi

-Brightheart-Demi

-Leopardfoot-Ply

-Squirrelflight-Demiromantic

-Leafpool-Bi

-Cinderheart-Bi

-Lionblaze-Gay

-Jayfeather-Gay Aromantic

-Hollyleaf-Asexual Lesbian

-Ivypool-Aceflux Lesbian

-Blossomfall-Quoisexual Lesbian

-Briarlight-Lesbian

-Rosetail-Pan

-Lilyheart-Cupiosexual Biromantic

-Hazeltail-Frayromantic

-Spottedleaf-Lesbian

-Shadowstar-Asexual Cupioromantic

-Blackstar-Bi

-Russetfur-Greyromantic

-Littlecloud-Greyromantic

-Runningnose-Gay

-Yellowfang-Ply

-Tawnypelt-Bi

-Ceaderstar-Gay

-Dovewing-Pan

-Flowerstar-Pan

-Mossfire-Lesbian

-Hollyflower-Apothisexual Greyromantic

-Ivytail-Aroflux

-Kinkfur-Pan

-Crowfrost-Aceflux

-Flametail-Gay

-Newtspeck-Ply

-Silverflame-Pan

-Crowtail-Lesbian

-Foxheart-Akoisexual

-Riverstar-Gay

-Mistystar-Bi

-Stonefur-Bi

-Leopardstar-Bi

-Mothwing-Lesbian

-Willowshine-Lesbian

-Feathertail-Bi

-Emberstar-Ply

-Softwing-Aro/Ace Lesbian

-Whitefang-Lithromantic

-Oakheart-Demisexual

-Echomist-Quoiromantic

-Mosspelt-Demi

-Beetlewhisker-Arovague

-Reedwhisker-Aro/Ace

-Ottersplash-Recipro

-Hollowflight-Placio

-Minnowtail-Pan

-Windstar-Placio

-Tallstar-Gay (Canon)

-Onestar-Bi

-Greywing the Wise-Abro

-Nightcloud-Bi

-Breezepelt-Pan

-Harestar-Gay

-Heathertail-Pan

-Whitetail-Cupio

-Ashfoot-Abro

-Cloversplash-Pan

-Sunstrike-Cupio

-Deadfoot-Lithro

-Heatherstar-Aromantic

-Leafstar-Bi

-Echosong-Lesbian

-Clovertail-Pan

-Frecklewish-Lesbian

-Cherrytail-Abro

-Sharpclaw-Aceflux

-Honeyleaf-Cupioromantic

-Petalfall-Ply

-Bouncefire-Aroflux

-Tinycloud-Ply

-Mintfur-Asexual

-Dew Petal-Greyromantic

-Stormheart-Greysexual

-Firefern-Apothi

-Billystorm-Demi

-Mousefang-Aromantic

-Lichenfur-Lesbian

-Jake-Bi

-Ravenpaw-Gay (Canon)

-Barley-Gay

-Scourge-Pansexual Frayromantic

-Half Moon-Demiromantic

-Violet-Bi

-Brick-Ply

-Star Flower-Nebularomantic

-Tess-Lesbian

-Jingo-Aro/Ace

-Pixie-Lesbian

-Mapleshade-Akoisexual Quoiromantic

-Stormfur-Demi

-Brook-Pan

-Splash-Bi

-Stoneteller/Crag-Fraysexual

-Petal-Pan

-Bumble-Abro

-Twist-Pan

-Princess-Placio

-Sol-Bi

My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic

-Twilight Sparkle-Lesbian

-Pinkie Pie-Cupiosexual Panromantic

-Applejack-Asexual Lesbian

-Fluttershy-Aro/Ace

-Ranbow Dash-Lesbian

-Rarity-Bi

-Starlight Glimmer-Demiromantic

-Spike-Lithromantic

-Princess Celestia-Pan

-Princess Luna-Asexual Lesbian

-Sunset Shimmer-Asexual Biromantic

-Trixie Lulamoon-Demiromantic

-Gilda-Lesbian

-Queen Novo-Nebulasexual Lesbian

-Princess Skystar-Lesbian

-Lyra-Lesbian

-Bon Bon-Lesbian

-Captian Celaeno-Frayromantic

-Colouratura-Aceflux

-Ditzy Doo-Demi

-Zecora-Placio

-Grubber-Aromantic

-Tempest Shadow-Quoiromantic

-Queen Chrysilis-Aro/Ace

-Apple Bloom-Lesbian

-Sweetie Belle-Lesbian

-Scootaloo-Lesbian

-Babs Seed-Lesbian

-Diamond Tiara-Lesbian

-Silver Spoon-Demiromantic Lesbian

-Fleur-de-Lis-Requiesromantic

-Scootaloo’s Aunts, Lofty and Holiday-Lesbians (Canon)

Disney

-Elsa-Asexual Lesbian

-Jack Kelly-Bi

-Maui-Demiboy

-Moana-Aro/Ace Lesbian

-Merida-Aro/Ace

-Laila-Greyromantic

-Marluxia-Aceflux

-Li Shang-Bi

-Nick Wilde-Gay

-Judy Hopps-Reciproromantic

-Benjamin Clawhauser-Gay

-Charlotte “Lottie” La Bouff-Pan

-Tiana-Bi

-Gideon Grey-Gay

-Chief Bogo-Pan

-Timon-Gay

-Pumbaa-Gay

-Nala-Bi

-Kiara-Bi

-Vitani-Lesbian

-Tiifu-Lesbian (Trans girl)

-Zuri-Abro

-Fuli-Lesbian

-Jasiri-Pan

-Zira-Lesbian

-Riley Anderson-Questioning (Genderfluid)

-Luke Skywalker-Gay

-Han Solo-Bi

-Leia Organa-Asexual

-Rey-Demi

-Finn-Bi

-Poe Dameron-Gay

-Holdo-Lesbian

-Jessica Rabbit-Asexual

-Rose Tico-Pan

-LeFou-Gay (Both versions) (Canon)

-Pocahontas-Demiromantic

Overwatch

-Lena Oxton/Tracer-Lesbian (Canon)

-Amelie Lacroix/Widowmaker-Pan

-Jesse McCree-Gay

-Olivia Colomar/Sombra-Bi (Canon)

-Angela Ziegler/Mercy-Bi

-Fareeah Amari/Pharrah-Lesbian

-Satya Vaswani/Symmetra-Lesbian

-Mei-Ling Zhou-Nomaromantic

-Moira O’Deorian-Lesbian

-Alexsandra Zaryanova-Lesbian

-Jamison Fawkes/Junkrat-Gay

-Mako Rutledge/Roadhog-Gay

-Jack Morrison/Soilder 76-Gay

-Gabriel Reyes/Reaper-Gay

-Ana Amari-Polyromantic

Misc.

-Rouge the bat (Lesbian)

-Taako Taaco (The Adventure Zone) (Gay) (Canon)

-Lup (The Adventure Zone) (Bi) (Canon Trans woman)

-Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone) (Bi)

-Sloane (The Adventure Zone) (Lesbian) (Lesbian) (Canon)

-Hurly (The Adventure Zone) (Lesbian) (Canon)

-Carry Fangbattle (The Adventure Zone) (Lesbian)

-Killian (The Adventure Zone) (Lesbian)

-Kravitz (The Adventure Zone) (Gay)

-Magic Brian (The Adventure Zone) (Pan)

-Merle Highchurch (The Adventure Zone) (Pan)

-Lucretia (The Adventure Zone) (Aromantic)

-Zelda (Legend of Zelda series) (Ranges from lesbian to pan depending on the game)

-Alphys (Undertale) (Bi)

-Undyne (Undertale) (Lesbian)

-Mettaton (Undertale) (Aro/Ace and Pan) (Bigender)

-Napstablook (Undertale) (Non binary)

-Frisk (Undertale) (Non binary)

-Chara (Undertale) (Agender)

-Jughead Jones (Archie Comics) (Aro/Ace) (Canon)

-Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece) (Aro/Ace) (Canon)

-Chica (FNaF) (Sapphic)

-Toy Bonnie (FNaF) (Trans boy)

-Toy Chica (FNaF) (Demigirl)

-The Mangle (FNaF) (Aromantic) (Agender)

-SpringBonnie (FNaF) (Non binary)

-Ballora (FNaF) (Lesbian)

-Funtime Foxy (FNaF) (Sapphic) (Genderflux)

-Vaati (Legend of Zelda) (Asexual Panromantic) (Bigender)

-Hanji/Hange Zoe-Genderfluid

-Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman) (Asexual) (Canon)

-Reno (Final Fantasy VII) (Bi)

-Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII) (Pan)

Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII) (Abro)

-Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) (Gay) (Trans man)

-Yazoo (Final Fantasy VII; Advent Children) (Demi) (Agender)

-Kadaj (Final Fantasy VII; Advent Children) (Asexual) (Non binary)

-Ryou Bakura (Yu-Gi-Oh!) (Bi)

-Marik Ishtar (Yu-Gi-Oh!) (Gay)

-Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!) (Gay)

-Yuri (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V) (Gay)

-Victor Nikiforov (Yuri! On Ice) (Ply)

-Yuri Katsuki (Yuri! On Ice) (Asexual Demiromantic)

-Lust (FullMetal Alchemist) (Bi)

-Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist) (Quoiromantic) (Agender)

-Veronica Sawyer (Heathers, both movie and musical) (Bi)

-Anna Sasaki (When Marnie Was There) (Lesbian)

-Mumble (Happy Feet) (Cupio)

-Val Small (Dream Daddy) (Asexual Lesbian)

-Robert Small (Dream Daddy) (Bi)

-Hugo Vega (Dream Daddy) (Gay)

-Damian Bloodmarch (Dream Daddy) (Pan)  (Canon Trans Man)

-Mat Sella (Dream Daddy) (Demi)

-Craig Cahn (Dream Daddy) (Ply)

-Brian Harding (Dream Daddy) (Bi)

-Joseph Christiansen (Dream Daddy) (Bi)

-Mary Christiansen (Dream Daddy) (Greyromantic)

-Lucien Bloodmarch (Dream Daddy) (Gay)

-Ernest Vega (Dream Daddy) (Abro)

-Amanda (Dream Daddy) (Pan)

-Joaquin Mondragon (The Book of Life) (Bi) (Trans man)

-Manolo Sanchez (The Book of Life) (Pan)

-Maria Posada Sanchez (The Book of Life) (Asexual Biromantic)

-Cala Maria (Cuphead) (Bi)

-Hilda Berg (Cuphead) (Lesbian)

-Bayonetta (Bayonetta) (Lesbian)

-Jeanne (Bayonetta) (Lesbian)

-Hermy (Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer) (Gay)

-Clarice (Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer) (Bi)

-Rudolph (Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer) (Lesbian) (Trans girl)

[unicagem]

Hessonite on that character meme

Thank you!

My first impressions of them. When I saw the leaked pic of her, I thought she was a Beryl (Heliodor) and was like: she surely bickers with Emerald lol

What I think of their design. It’s really cool! I like her pants and in general her colours. I think “orange fluffy clod” really fits her as nickname lol if Peridot turns out to work for Emerald, maybe Peri heard such definition from her :v jokes aside, she’s beautiful. It would have been cool if the yellow thing around her eye was a visor, but since it’s actually a homage to Ziggy Stardust, I can’t complain!! :D

What I think of their role in the story. She is a very interesting character. As I said for Emerald, I truly like when characters pursue their own interests or morals, especially if they’re in b/w situations where in theory can’t do it, and Hessonite’s final discourse sent her among my faves. And it’s sad that probably we’ll never hear from her again, because this trait is so unique and crucial in a show like SU, and hope someone I’ve already mentioned 3 times or, in any case, another gem can have it one day (even in flashbacks of the war).

What I think of their interactions with other characters. She depends on the Prism and it’s great she admits it in the end, it makes her more interesting. I liked her interactions with Pearl too, I’d love to see their past battle, and consequently the one with Rose Quartz because leader of the rebellion vs one of the most important gems, a legend on Homeworld?? Too cool! And somewhere they should draw Garnet and Hessonite doing things together, but suspiciously. Just Garnet things. Idk. Oh and Squaridot seems to be very faithful to her, wish there was more!

My favorite aspect of the character overall. Whoops already talked about it in the other question

What could have been improved or changed with regards to the character. I have nothing to say tbh!

My number one wish for this character. It would be really cool if they managed to add her in the show, for example in a new brief flashback told by healed Centi (I’m pretty sure Hessonite’s her commander at this point).

[geek-gem]

Steven Universe Save The Light 2nd Playthrough

So got tags done and copied this from Deviantart on a journal. Including just noticed still have Tumblr and didn't need to go to blog and back to dashboard. Also still have YouTube. I was listening to Lazarus Combat Skullhacker checked twice it's from Doom 2016 awesome.

So as of now and took a very quick shower because I saw a spider and didn't wanna kill it so I got out quick so I can leave it alone and let it dry.

Spoilers ahead in case on the boss of the boss.

But will say this turns out well when I put it into rest mode the game was still on. Basically I didn't close it but after this playthrough closed the application.

Yet ether then that I continued even though originally I wasn't yet since it was still on and was on the menu.

Including didn't plan of making this a thing of talking about the game but guess I will.

Really still very damn enjoyable. Including moments where I try to run from enemies because I don't wanna fight them. Including using fusions for the first time using Opal first, then Stevonnie, and Smokey Quartz. Which all play well.

Just saying wanted to originally play Doom 2016 or Titanfall 2 but would have to talk about that basically.

Including what's surprising and was difficult. As of now put spoilers now under the first paragraph.

Just saying the lead up to a boss I just I even talked about how I know video games yet even said I don't play rpgs or just whatever else but said that camera. Yet remembered now it's the camera angle that's with this mountain.

Including beforehand a very beautiful landscape being shown as you walk across a bridge and even I said it was beautiful. Seriously the imagery just the graphics and the style is very lovely. It pretty much is the show brought to life.

But yeah back to the lead up to the boss just this chest with a whole bunch of stuff in there.

Now on to the boss which is Squaridot however it's spelt.

Honestly despite the funny and nicely nice conversation you have before the boss. She is difficult including I died well....died is a bit excessive but lost once. Which led to both fusions unfused.

The second time was much better. With no one unfusing and luckly with Opal's bow and arrows attack whatever it's called where it's one shot. Including Stevonnie's first attack. But really Opal's 2nd attack is what ended the fight because while I was getting the snowballs handled with just the whole ball thing between you and the boss gets more difficult as it goes on. Probably because my right arm on the end of the bed but also mainly gonna time it right.

Yet what's also awesome this barn scene. Just Peridot herself and just this scene her interacting with another Peridot. While it's indeed silly but the idea of how far she's come is amazing. Just all that development wow. Including Lapis is there too and Pumpkin but not much of them.

Including me being happy you can play as Peridot now. But beforehand just the barn looks so lovely too bad you can't go inside.

Also silly shit discovering more attacks like Connie's attack that's like Stevonnie's and me going at times suffer and whatever else to the enemies. I might of said killed but forgot.

Yet just again the barn looks lovely. Including give everyone positive energy. Including a mention of pizza that's very lovely. Along with I wonder how that went and when Greg did some 200 taco challenge. Also Squariclod, and this new enemy is no match for Pearl and Steven's ready and Garnet likes that and telling Connie he wouldn't have this any other way. Sorry was mentioning those choices I made. Including they just after that make comments of when they might go or waiting for you. While Lapis and Pumpkin are the same.

Is Lapis playable I don't think she might be. But this areas with blue stuff. Including it's with water and....I'm just saying okay she might have to be playable.

Next is the Strawberry Battlefield and okay I haven't played as Peridot yet but replaced Amethyst with her. Including was still playing as Steven but changed characters when I was at the barn. Honestly gonna be fun when I officially play as Peridot and use her in battle.

Random stuff I wanted to share sorry to bother or meh it's rambling crap. I wanted to share this okay being weird and fixed men to meh now phone changed mej to meh

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 6: A Fandom Divided (originally posted on September 19, 2022)

AN: For today's episode, shipping destroys lives! In other news, water is wet, chocolate chip cookies are awesome, and all companies do not care about anything other than money. Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. As I foreshadowed last episode, this installment is literally just the Amphibia episode Civil Wart, except it's not a fan war fueled by sibling rivalry. Instead, it serves as an echo of how toxic shippers can get in general, and trust me, I've seen enough incidents like these to know what I'm talking about. In addition, this will include a reference to a certain incident in the Steven Universe fandom from many years ago that I've been wanting to reference in all my SU fanfiction for years. So, without further ado, let the chaos commence.

Synopsis: Lapis and Peridot try to get everyone into Camp Pining Hearts, but they don't account for the resulting division between Gems who ship Percy/Pierre vs Gems shipping Percy/Paulette.

Cast:

Shelby Rabara as Peridot, Squaridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Percy/Edward Christian, Blue Lace Agate, Ocean Jasper, Crazy Lace Agate, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Paulette/Bella Anastasia, Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Volleyball

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Cherry Quartz, Angel Aura Quartz, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Navy, Doc, Army, Leggy

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Ian Jones-Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian, Bixbite

Michelle Maryk as Larimar

Aparna Nancherla as Nephrite

Auli'I Cravalho as Orange Spodumene

Kimiko Glenn as Blue Chalcedony

Phillipa Soo as Chrysocolla

Anika Noni Rose as Watermelon Tourmalines

Aimee Carrero as Moonstone

Tara Strong as Grossular Diopside

Tara Platt as Cubic Zirconias

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Gal Gadot as Desert Glass

Willa Holland as Albite

Maddie Ziegler as Serpentine

Courtenay Taylor as Beryl

Martha Higerada as Topaz

Alex Newell as Monazite

Billy West as Hunter

Featuring Jensen Ackles as Pierre/Jacob Steele

--

On a beautiful night in Little Homeworld, all the Gem inhabitants had gathered around a large projector screen that Lapis and Peridot set up for a movie night for everyone. "Face front true believers," Peridot theatrically announced. "for in just a few short moments; you shall bear witness to the greatest television program this planet has ever conceived!"

"Ooh, is it Challenge of Castles?!" Teal raised her hand. "That show is amazing!"

"No way, The Gandolfinis is way better!" Watermelon Tourmaline debated.

"I'm personally more a fan of Black and White Are The New Blue." Desert Glass commented. "I find myself really connecting with everyone being brutally imprisoned, for some reason."

"All of you, be quiet!" Peridot barked, stopping the argument before it could go too far. "Those shows are all great, but none can ever come close to the quality cinema that is Camp Pining Hearts! It's got everything you could ask for! Romance, drama!"

"Attractive humans getting into over-the-top situations," Lapis added. "Everyone getting mad at each other for stupid reasons. "

"And best of all, the single greatest shipping ever conceived by human brains, but we want it to be up to you!" Peridot declared before Pearl stepped on stage between her and Lapis.

"Thank you for the introduction, girls, but are you sure this is a good idea?" Pearl asked the duo. "I don't want everyone to start arguing which of these "ships" are superior to the point of getting toxic and harming each other. Like that one Crying Breakfast Friends fan-artist Steven really likes who was bullied into nearly committing suicide because she drew Sad Spoon to be too skinny."

"Oh, come on, Pearl, I'm sure this will be nothing like that incident!" Peridot answered while pushing Pearl away. "Now then, this episode, in particular, is considered to be the finest in all of Camp Pining Hearts, across both the amazing original series and its abysmal reboot!"

"It's called "Hunting Season" from Season 2, the best season in our eyes." Lapis continued. "Now, without further ado, let the show begin. Is it ready, Garnet?!"

"Ready and raring to go, Lapis." Garnet agreed as she turned the episode on and projected it onto the big screen.

"This is going to be so exciting!" Peridot muttered eagerly at the prospect of exposing her special interest to more and more Gems. "I can't wait for everyone to share my opinions!"

"Dude, not everyone will think the same way as you." Amethyst disagreed as she snacked on some popcorn. "You just gotta accept that everyone has different opinions."

"Yeah, like I refuse ever to accept that your ways are what's best for everyone." Black Rutile added snarkily.

"See, like her." Amethyst stated while gesturing to Black Rutile.

"Finally, one of you agrees with me!" Black Rutile sighed in delight. "Looks like I finally converted a Crystal Gem to my cause!"

"What? No." Amethyst corrected the Rutile. "I'm just using you as an example. It'll be a cold day in the Kindergarten before you brainwash anyone of us, though!"

"Spoilsport." Black Rutile pouted as the episode continued.

--

"Shh, be vewy, vewy quiet." A brown-clad hunter told the audience while tiptoeing through the forest. "I'm hunting for a deew. Ahahahaha." Just then, the hunter spotted a majestic white-tailed deer grazing in the distance and excitedly prepared his rifle. "Oh, a deew!" he exclaimed. "A femawe deew!"

Elsewhere, a handsome young man with brown hair was exploring the great outdoors with a spring in his steps and stars in his eyes. "Nature truly is a wonderful thing." Pierre muttered to himself with a dashing grin. "And I'm more than happy to experience it with dear friends like Percy." Just then, Pierre spotted a white-tailed deer peacefully grazing, unaware of the hunter ready to shoot it down with his rifle. "Oh no, that innocent doe is in trouble!"

"Come on, big guy, just stay wight whewe I want you to be." The hunter smirked to himself before he found Pierre racing into his line of sight. "Gadzooks! Boy, get out of dah way!"

"No, I won't let you hurt this innocent deer!" Pierre exclaimed as he got in front of the doe to protect it, only to be shot in his torso by the hunter and fell to the ground as the doe got spooked and ran away.

"Oh my, you okay thewe spowt?" the hunter frantically realized his error and raced to Pierre's aid. "I am so sowwy widdle boy, I was just doing my job, but then you got in the way!"

"I'm not little; I'm 16." Pierre groaned and revealed his age, which was way younger than the actor playing him. "Please, go to Camp Pining Hearts and find help. Please, my life depends on it!"

"Don't wowwy, I'll do what I can!" the hunter replied bravely and ran off to find help, leaving Pierre to lie there on the ground, blood staining his uniform as he tried not to give into his injuries.

"Come on, sir, hurry up." Pierre groaned in pain while trying to pluck the bullet from his abdomen when he heard footsteps. "Wow, that was fast."

"Pierre!" a blonde camper cried out as he raced to Pierre's side. "That hunter told me what happened! Are you all right?!"

"It's fine, Percy, now that you're here." Pierre weakly answered while gazing longingly into Percy's eyes. "I was out and about in the woods earlier when I found that a hunter was trying to kill this innocent deer. I was able to protect it, but now it seems like I might not have much time left."

"Don't worry, Pierre; I'll get you back to camp," Percy said as he began bridal-carrying Pierre and took him away from the forest clearing. "You're one of my best friends, Pierre."

"You too, Percy." Pierre grinned happily.

--

As the episode continued, the Gems were enraptured in the drama that ensued from Pierre's sacrifice, and even began crying when it seemed like he was going to die from the bullet wound. But thankfully, Percy was there to help Pierre every step of the way, and eventually, their bond was what saved Pierre from death in the cheesiest fashion imaginable. Peridot was utterly delighted to see such a standing ovation from the adoring audience that had just watched her favorite show and now was eager to ask what their thoughts were on it and whether they were as hardcore shippers of Percy and Pierre as she was.

"Thank you, thank you, everyone!" Peridot exclaimed as she got back up on stage. "It delights me so much to see everyone like the same things I do! This reminds me of one crucial question. After watching this episode, are you all Piercy shippers now?!"

"Meh, take it or leave it." Cat's Eye smugly answered while checking her manicure, inciting gasps from every other audience member. "I didn't really see any romantic tension between the two. I think they're more like brothers than lovers. Besides, Paulette deserves better from this fandom you speak of."

"You bite your tongue!" Teal Zircon yelled at Cat from the other side of the audience. "Pierre and Percy bring out the best in each other! Pierre learns how to be gentler around Percy, while Percy learns how to stand up for himself more from Pierre! They are the best CPH ship!"

"Oh, you just like them together because they're two cute human boys who think deserve to spend all of their screentime making out with each other!" Cat began bickering with Teal. "You keep assuming the worst about everything Paulette does, and she was barely even in this episode!"

"Now, let's settle down for a bit." Peridot tried to ease the tension between the arguing pair. "While yes, Pierre and Percy are the best pairing in Camp Pining Hearts, and Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy, that's no reason to start arguing with each other!"

"I told you so." Pearl nervously responded to Peridot in a sing-song voice as the conflict reached its boiling point.

"Everyone who ships Percy and Pierre, form up with me!" Teal commanded, followed by Orange Spodumene, the Watermelon Tourmalines, Doc, Leggy, Bixbite, Tiger's Eye, Yellow Pearl, Ocean Jasper, Crazy Lace, Chrysocolla, Serpentine, Grossular Diopside, Beryl, Holly Blue, Nephrite, Angel Aura Quartz, Zuli, Desert Glass, Morganite, and Navy all gathering up behind her.

"Is that so?" Cat's Eye purred. "Well, if you support Percy with Paulette, then join my side!" As she ordered, Army, Topaz, Monazite, Emerald, Demantoid, Pyrope, Blue Pearl, Volleyball, the Cubic Zirconias, Moonstone, Blue Chalcedony, Snowflake Obsidian, Larimar, Albite, Zebra Jasper, Biggs Jasper, Laz, Squaridot, and Cherry Quartz assembling beside her.

"Well, where do all of you stand?" Teal asked Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, Black Rutile, and White Topaz as they were forced into the middle of this new conflict.

"Nope, I don't want to know where this is going!" Black Rutile declared as she got up and prepared to leave, only to come back moments later to speak with Cat's Eye. "But keep this up for as long as you can; it'll keep everyone distracted while I keep working on the Vortexxer."

"I think we're going to take a neutral stance here." Bismuth proclaimed. "This is an absolutely ridiculous reason to start fighting, so I suggest we find a way to end this peacefully before it all goes too far!"

"Me, personally, I find this to be a huge waste of time." Jasper added her opinions. "I mean, none of these humans are even real! Is there really any reason to obsess over the love lives of fictional characters?!"

"Okay, that I can agree with!" Black Rutile agreed with Jasper from afar. Suddenly, the two warring factions of shippers all began yelling as they marched away from the impromptu theater, leaving the Crystal Gems alone.

"I figured things would turn out like this." Garnet declared.

"You mean you knew this was going to happen and never told me?!" Peridot yelled. "Some leader you turned out to be!"

"Hey, chillax, everyone." Lapis said calmingly. "At least things can't get worse than this, right? Right?"

--

The next day, it got worse. Overnight, the entire town was split down the middle between Teal Zircon and the Gems who shipped Pierre with Percy, and the Gems who sided with Cat's Eye by shipping Percy with Paulette, leaving the Crystal Gems forced into the middle of the situation both figuratively and literally.

"It's ominous how much this echoes shipping debates on the Internet." Peridot mused in horror of what new spore of madness she had unleashed.

"But now it's in real life!" Lapis added, just as terrified.

"Were things on your Earth technology resolved with peace and kindness, perhaps?" Jasper asked sarcastically.

"Oh, far from it." Amethyst answered. "I mean, see for yourself!"

"Archers, fire your hateful fanfictions!" Teal commanded Crazy Lace, Serpentine, Nephrite, and Yellow Pearl before the four Gems launched stacks of paper from arrows at the Gems on the opposing side.

"Your fantasies are null compared to our superior writing skills!" Yellow Pearl barked at the enemy shippers.

"You call this superior writing skills?!" Albite exclaimed as she read through one of the fanfictions. "Everyone in this story is completely out of character for the sake of your sexual desires! And why is everyone so obsessed with feet all of a sudden?"

"Oh no, I fired the wrong one!" Yellow Pearl yelled in realization. "Quick, throw it back so I can burn it!"

"Too late; I'm gonna read this to everyone!" Albite laughed as she walked away to continue embarrassing Yellow Pearl.

"Really, you and the feet?" Serpentine asked a blushing Yellow Pearl.

"I just admire their complex anatomy, that's all!" Yellow Pearl tried lying her way out of an awkward situation before speed-walking away.

Meanwhile, on the Percy/Paulette side, Blue Pearl was hard at work on her latest masterpiece, which Volleyball had taken an interest in. "Oh hey, Blue, what are you working on?"

"Just this amazing Percy/Paulette fanart I've poured my heart into." Blue Pearl replied while showing off an immaculate painting of a romantic moment between the two CPH characters. "The lake symbolizes how the waters may be rough, but they will always have each other's backs. And the moon is evocative of how bright their future will be together."

"Oh, that is amazing symbolism!" Volleyball complimented the other Pearl's work. "And what about their big mustaches?"

"Their what?" Blue Pearl asked before she turned to discover that her precious artwork had been defaced. "Who could have done this to me?!" She immediately got her answer in the form of Doc and Leggy laughing raucously as they scampered off, indicating that they were the culprits. "You rotten, no good antis! I'll get you two for this!"

"We'd like to see you try without going over the line!" Doc cackled evilly while pointing at the line splitting Little Homeworld in two, proving to Blue Pearl that any hope of getting revenge was nonexistent.

"We have to find a way to resolve this without anyone getting seriously hurt!" Garnet declared. "Peridot, Lapis, I suggest you try getting the leaders to see reason first before everyone can agree to a truce, and we can reset everything to normal again."

"We won't let you down, Garnet!" Peridot saluted dutifully along with Lapis.

"I don't see this going horribly wrong." Lapis added before the two split up and took off for both sides of the war, Peridot marching towards Teal's side while Lapis strolled to meet with Cat's Eye.

"What if Lapis was right?" White Topaz asked worriedly. "What if this does go wrong? The two of them are freakishly powerful, so who knows what could happen?"

--

"This is the best thing that has ever happened to this good-for-nothing prison!" Black Rutile cheered as she, Aquamarine, and Eyeball watched the civil war between Teal and Cat from the comforts of Black Rutile's house as the trio continued work on the Vortexxer. "Everyone is so distracted by such a silly concept; they're all completely oblivious to what I have planned!"

"To be fair, my Rutile, they've been pretty oblivious for a while." Aquamarine said to her master. "I find it odd that no one has gotten at least some sort of a clue about what we're doing."

"Eh, best to keep it all a secret, it makes the eventual reveal all the more shocking." Eyeball said while snacking from a bucket of popcorn just as the door opened. "Oh hey kitty, we thought you were dead."

"Oh please, as if I'd die in these silly circumstances!" Cat boasted while perching herself upon the incomplete Vortexxer like a cat.

"Hey, get off! That's delicate equipment you're toying with!" Black Rutile commanded her feline crony to leave her project alone. "Now, give me a status report!"

"This little squabble has been tepid for the most part, but it's only a matter of time before everything explodes into full-on war!" Cat's Eye purred while turning the wall behind her into a scratching post. "Which reminds me, my Rutile, do you ship Percy with Pierre or Paulette? I do hope it's Paulette. Your tactical genius would be of great use to our cause!"

"I don't care either way!" Black Rutile answered as she continued work on the portal. "Like, they're not even real; why should we care so much about the love lives of those who don't even exist?"

"I certainly agree, my Rutile." Eyeball added. "It just makes no sense how obsessive humans get with fictional characters."

"Now, Ruby, no need to judge people for their opinions." Aquamarine jokingly chided her sidekick. "But really, this is all just one futile and stupid gesture."

"Darn, I was really hoping to get at least one of you in on this." Cat moaned in defeat. "But regardless, I still think we could be winning!" Just then, Cat heard a knock on Black Rutile's door. "Just a moment, I need to take this." She then stepped outside to see Cherry Quartz standing there. "What do you want?"

"One of the Crystal Gems wishes to speak with you." Cherry stated with a salute. "It's Lapis Lazuli."

"Oh, goody." Cat's Eye responded with a visible grimace. "Let me guess, are they trying to settle our war peacefully?"

"I believe so." Cherry stated. "Come, she says it's of the utmost importance."

"Well, she better make this quick." Cat said as she began following Cherry. "I got some fanfiction to do a dramatic reading of in an hour."

--

Meanwhile, in the domain of Teal Zircon and her Percy/Pierre shippers, Peridot had just arrived and was ready to make a stand against this madness so everyone could enjoy Camp Pining Hearts in peace. However, Teal's subordinates were all tough nuts for her to crack.

"HALT, WHO GOES THERE?!" the Watermelon Tourmaline duo yelled as they stood guarding the greenhouse Teal had made into her impromptu palace. "NOBODY GETS IN TO SEE THE GRAND SHIPPER OF PIERRE AND PERCY, NOT NOBODY, NOT NOHOW!"

"But I do ship them!" Peridot exclaimed. "Just let me in; I need to talk with Teal!"

"Oh, I see you are a Gem of culture as well. My mistake." The Watermelon Tourmaline fusion realized her error. "Let her in, Puffy. She's good people."

"Now that's a horse of a different color. Come on in." The other Watermelon Tourmaline said as the duo let Peridot pass into the greenhouse. The plants were still there, but now it was filled with Gems dressed in CPH cosplay acting out romantic scenarios between Percy and Pierre.

"But Pierre, I'm afraid we cannot be together!" Desert Glass dramatically stated. "I am in love with another person!"

"Who, who could this other person be?" Nephrite asked with equal amounts of cheese.

"It is my twin brother!" Desert Glass exclaimed, eliciting gasps of shock and excitement.

"Twin brother? Spicy!" Zuli muttered as she applauded the duo's act. "But not as spicy as the dog bit!"

"Where do they keep coming up with these lewd ideas?" Holly Blue agreed as Peridot awkwardly walked past the applauding audience to meet with Teal Zircon.

"Um, hello there." Peridot greeted her fellow shippers of Percy and Pierre. "Is Teal Zircon still here? I'd like to have a word with her about this conflict."

"Don't you worry, we'll grab her, and she'll be here in a jiffy." Serpentine answered politely as she raced to find their superior, who was busy snacking on grapes like a Roman emperor while Navy served as her footrest. "Um, Lord Teal, we have a visitor who wishes to meet with you."

"Send her in." Teal said with a mouth full of grapes as Peridot was shunted forward by Angel Aura Quartz and Crazy Lace. "I am Teal Zircon, the great and powerful!" she proclaimed loudly. "State your business or get out of my sight!"

"I came here to inform you that this conflict is utterly preposterous!" Peridot made her case against the shipping war. "Fandom is supposed to bring everyone together, no matter who they are or what they ship! Isn't that just as important as your OTP?"

Teal took some time to contemplate Peridot's question while continuing to munch on grapes before she came up with a question of her own. "You know, Peridot, your plea for peace makes me want to ask you something." She said. "What do you ship, little one?"

"Um, Percy and Pierre?" Peridot nervously replied. "I don't feel like this question will lead to anything good."

"On the contrary, it could lead to many good things!" Teal responded happily. "Join me, and together we can rule the Camp Pining Hearts fanbase as shippers in arms!"

"While I do admire that you're taking my earlier message of togetherness to heart, I don't think you're doing it right!" Peridot objected to TZ's offer. "The other Crystal Gems and I just wanted everyone to get along!"

"But now you can get along with us! What do you say?" Teal continued exhorting. "One of us, one of us! Gooble gobble, one of us!"

"We accept her, we accept her!" Teal's subordinates began chanting for Peridot to join them. "One of us, one of us!"

"Uh, I still don't know, you guys." Peridot responded awkwardly. "I mean, as I said, we all have different opinions, and we should respect them!"

"Oh, this is more than just a difference in opinions." Teal declared in response. "We will soon be at war with our enemies, and we need a Gem as smart as you to aid us in the coming battle! We would've recruited Black Rutile, but she rejected because this is utterly ridiculous."

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but she has a point!" Peridot continued debating with Teal. "You know what, fine! I'll join you only if you agree to stop this madness!"

"Don't you worry, Dottie, I'm a Gem of my word." Teal solemnly swore to Peridot while also crossing her fingers behind her back. "Now come with me. We have much to discuss." She then took Peridot by her tiny green hand and led her deeper into the greenhouse, where some more Gems had made a makeshift war room. "We must prepare for war."

--

As for Lapis, she had arrived at Cat's Eye's side of Little Homeworld, where the feline Gem ruled from atop the whirly-bird tower while being entertained by watching episodes of CPH where Percy was paired with Paulette, with her minions all huddled around the TV with her.

"Uh, hey, everyone." Lapis greeted the Percy/Paulette shippers, who all turned to look up at her flying above them. "I'm just here on the other Crystal Gems' orders to tell you all that this whole war is a huge waste of time, and we should respect everyone else's opinions and stuff."

"Let me guess, I suppose Peridot is off trying to convince the enemy the same thing?" Laz asked as her old friend touched down on the ground to confront Cat's Eye.

"Exactly." Lapis said to Laz before turning to Cat. "Please, Cat, I know you hate me for being a Crystal Gem, and I hate you because you're so unbelievably smug and obnoxious, but I want you to listen. This conflict sucks! I mean, going to war just because someone has a different opinion than you? That pettiness is only reserved for the Internet, not real life!"

"Oh please, you think this is like a cartoon where you can make everything better in just a few minutes flat?!" Cat scoffed at Lapis's plea. "You need to let it go, little girl. You are indeed correct that this is the real life, not just a fantasy!"

"Exactly, and it's time we face reality!" Lapis proclaimed. "People have different opinions, and we must respect that."

"Speaking of fantasies, I have a few of my own." Cat remarked seductively, making Lapis's breath shudder as she started blushing blue. "Now, it's not those kinds of fantasies, just FYI, just a little idea I've been having."

"What kind of idea?" Lapis asked sheepishly as Cat began using her feminine wiles to get her way.

"Oh, nothing much, just our own version of Hunting Season." Cat purred cheekily. "It's already a good episode, but I think more of Paulette would make it even better!"

"You mean we make a Percy/Paulette version of the episode?" Lapis realized. "What's in this for me, though?"

"Oh, you'll just be donating your creative skills to a good cause, of course." Cherry Quartz revealed, piquing Lapis's interest as she now began considering Cat's offer.

"So, you in?" Blue Chalcedony asked the terraformer.

"Fine, I'll do it." Lapis shrugged and shook Cat's hand. "But only if you don't go and declare war on the other side, okay?"

"Oh, cross my heart, my dearest aquatic angel!" Cat's Eye pinched Lapis's cheek with one hand while crossing her fingers behind her back with the others. "And even if we go to war, we'll win easily since we have not one, but two Lapis Lazulis on our side!"

"She's got that right." Laz agreed with Cat.

--

"Bad news, everyone, we lost our adorable duo." Bismuth declared to the Crystal Gems at the temple as she put down her phone. "Lapis has turned over to Cat's Eye's side while Peridot has been assimilated into Teal Zircon and her cronies. Oh, I can already imagine the hurt and betrayal that'll come from this!"

"They were supposed to help us stop this craziness!" Amethyst yelled furiously. "Now, what do we do?!"

"Easy, we terrify them into shutting up." Jasper suggested harshly while summoning her crash helmet.

"While that would be super effective, I'm not sure if we should be solving this with violence." White Topaz objected to Jasper's idea. "Anyone else got any bright ideas?"

"I got an excellent idea." Garnet proclaimed while presenting the Gems with Pearl sitting at a laptop. "The Internet started this, so we finish this with the Internet."

"As it turns out, one of the actors from Camp Pining Hearts has his own website where he answers fan questions." Pearl explained before turning the computer around to show a website dedicated to Edward Christian, the man who played Percy on Camp Pining Hearts. "If we ask him about this crisis, maybe he can help solve it."

"You really think he'll just find our question and answer it right on the spot?" Jasper retorted suspiciously as Pearl typed down a question for the actor to answer.

"Dear Edward Christian, my name is Pearl, and I am a Crystal Gem living in Beach City, Delmarva." Pearl read her question out loud as she typed. "I have some friends who are both huge fans of Camp Pining Hearts and are on opposite sides of a shipping war. Is there any way you can help solve this problem before it goes too far? Sincerely, Pearl."

"I like where this is going, but I'm sure he gets many questions daily." Amethyst said. "It might take ages before he notices us!" Just then, Pearl immediately got a response to her question to Edward, much to the Gems' shock given how fast he responded.

"So, might take ages, huh?" White Topaz smirked at Amethyst.

"Why didn't I ask for money?" Amethyst muttered in disappointment before Pearl began reading their answer.

"Dear Pearl, I am honored to know that you Gems are such fans of my work. I had a lot of fun as Percy on Camp Pining Hearts." Pearl read off the laptop. "This isn't the first time I've received a question about shipping, funny enough. I've even had to ban such questions from my site after the big Valentine's Day episode from Season 3, but I'll make an exception for fellow celebrities like you. How about tomorrow, my co-stars Bella Anastasia and Jacob Steele come down to Beach City to help you with your problem? Love, Edward."

"He even said love." Garnet said. "Such a nice man."

"Looks like all we have to do now is wait." Amethyst realized. "Does it say where he lives now?"

"Oh, how convenient!" Pearl cheered as she found Edward's bio. "It turns out he's still living in the Great North, so it should only take almost nine hours for him and his co-stars to reach us!"

"Well, at least we got time now." Jasper sighed in relief. "What should we do now?"

"I got an idea!" White Topaz suggested. "Anyone wanna binge Camp Pining Hearts with me? I'm getting close to the end of Season 3, so no spoilers!"

"I wonder how we can spoil a show we've barely seen any episodes of." Garnet mused to herself.

--

On the third day of the great shipping conflict of Little Homeworld, the two sides were just about ready to go to war. On one side, Teal Zircon and her horde of Percy/Pierre shippers were readying their weapons for the coming battle while Peridot mapped out potential strategies. On the other side, Cat's Eye's side was also preparing for war, but Lapis was feeling anxious about having to go against her lifelong friend and partner.

"Anything troubling you, my dear Lapis?" Cat purred as she batted her tail against Lapis's back to get the blue Gem's attention. "Oh, I get it! You're worried about what Peridot might think about you rooting for the enemy." She realized. "Well, there's one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little detail you had forgotten about. THIS IS WAR, AND PAST RELATIONSHIPS DON'T MATTER!"

"How should I know that?! I never fought in the rebellion!" Lapis yelled back at the lawyer. "Besides, you know that I got off on the wrong foot with Peridot when we were told to become friends!"

"Well, it looks like you have no choice but to do that all over again!" Cat replied without a shred of empathy for Lapis. "And in the meantime, I got you a new Peridot who will agree with everything you say!" She then presented Lapis with Squaridot that she pulled from the sides. "Say hi, Squaridot!"

--

Meanwhile, Peridot watched the confrontation between Lapis and Cat with a pair of binoculars, and to say she felt absolutely betrayed would be selling her heartbreak short. "So this is how Lapis repays me after all we've done together?" she mutters tearfully. "Just going to abandon me in favor of shipping Percy with that witch Paulette?!"

"Always sad to see someone go, isn't it?" Teal Zircon declared solemnly as she appeared behind Peridot. "But then again, you did interrogate her for info on the Crystal Gems a long time ago, so maybe she considers this karma."

"That was ages ago; we were past that!" Peridot yelled at Teal. "I'm sure by the time we win this war; everything will go back to normal like nothing happened, right?"

"I'm not too sure about it." Teal answered. "A betrayal of that magnitude is bound to be remembered for ages to come. Not even forgiving and forgetting can fix that in a pinch."

"I'd never expect someone like you to say that." Peridot replied. "Usually, you'd have some kind of adorable one-liner or unknowingly insensitive remark up your sleeve. What's gotten into you these past few days?"

"I've become very passionate about shipping thanks to you." Teal bluntly revealed. "Now come! We ride!"

--

"Oh, come on, where are those actors?" Pearl nervously asked as she impatiently paced around Little Homeworld, hoping for a miracle. "Edward said he'd be here today, but he's still taking forever!"

"Just be patient, Pearl." Garnet implored the ex-servant. "Besides, it's not like we have much time left. Look!" Garnet then pointed towards the Warp Pad, where the two warring ships were having an epic stand-off, an ominous calm washing over Little Homeworld as the war was about to begin.

"So, it looks like we had the same idea, Peridot." An equally betrayed Lapis coldly said to Peridot.

"It wasn't my intention; they made me join!" Peridot cried out. "They had a really catchy chant too."

"I was convinced because they thought I'd be useful in making their own version of Hunting Season." Lapis responded. "If you join our side, we can work on it together and be friends again."

"Enough talk!" Teal cut the barn mates' conversation short. "Now is the time for what everyone came here for."

"Oh, I couldn't agree more." Cat's Eye meowed while drawing her riding crop. "CHARGE!"

"COURAGE!" Teal replied as the two Gems' respective forces clashed in an all-out battle, while the Crystal Gems, Black Rutile, Aquamarine, and Eyeball all watched from the sidelines.

"Ooh, this is gonna get good!" Amethyst laughed before she pulled out some popcorn to eat while gazing at Eyeball's bucket. "I'm not sharing this."

"Good, I wasn't planning on sharing either." Eyeball responded.

"Oh, how I missed the senseless violence between so-called friends." Black Rutile sighed nostalgically.

"You're just saying that because one of your minions is leading a side!" Bismuth said in response. "And besides, isn't another one of them on the Percy/Pierre side?"

"Does it matter?" Black Rutile smirked as the Crystal Gems and the Rutile Rebels watched the carnage begin.

The Watermelon Tourmalines bounced everywhere as they worked together to crush their opponents. Desert Glass formed turrets out of the sand to fire upon the various quartzes. Beryl scampered across the battlefield to take her opponents by surprise and tickle them into submission. Nephrite was engaged in a catfight against Chrysocolla. Holly Blue swung her electric whip around to gain some distance from her foes. Army was pitted against all three of the other Rubies on the enemy side in a wrestling contest. Serpentine pounced on her foes while Grossular Diopside rode on her back. Yellow Pearl was all alone against Volleyball and Blue Pearl. Laz and Zuli were facing off once again, with tidal waves being summoned to take each other down. Bixbite tried cutting down the ice barrier Larimar and Snowflake Obsidian put up to protect Demantoid and Pyrope from harm. Emerald swung her club in Orange Spodumene's face, knocking her to the ground. Topaz, Monazite, Blue Chalcedony, Albite, the Cubic Zirconias, and Squaridot all worked together to keep their allies safe in the heat of battle. But at the center of it all was the epic clash between Teal & Peridot and Cat & Lapis.

"You just can't admit that you never cared for Percy and Pierre as characters!" Cat's Eye yelled while whipping away at Teal. "You don't want representation; you just think they should be a couple just because of how close they are!"

"And you just can't see Paulette for how abhorrent a character she is!" Teal responded while clashing with Cat using a makeshift sword. "She's an utter parasite who leeches off every other character because the writers love ensuring she's in the right all the time!"

"That is not true; you're desperate to see boys kissing!" Cat yelled back.

"You're better than this, Lapis; you must fight it!" Peridot urged her blue-hued partner. "Remember all the good times we shared watching CPH!"

"Well, the good times are over!" Lapis replied, yelling as she prepared to land the finishing blow when suddenly, a car horn honked, stopping the war cold.

"Who could possibly be interrupting our grand battle?!" Albite yelled before the car door opened, and out came Edward Christian, the actor behind Percy from Camp Pining Hearts.

"You know, when I was told there was a shipping war going on here, I did not expect a literal war." Edward dryly remarked before he was joined by his CPH co-stars, Bella Anastasia and Jacob Steele.

"Oh my goodness, you're finally here!" Pearl squealed in excitement as she charged towards the three celebrities and trapped Edward in a tight hug. "Saints be praised; please put an end to this madness!"

"Let me guess; this is about Percy, Pierre, and Paulette?" Jacob smirked before looking at the formerly warring Gems, now frozen in shock. "I should've known."

"Uh, hello there, alien fans." Bella waved to the Gems, who immediately stopped what they were doing and began hoarding around the trio.

"I can't believe it, Percy and Pierre in the flesh!" Holly Blue began frothing at the mouth in amazement before collapsing.

"Tell us, are you aware of how much everyone hates Paulette?!" Morganite asked.

"Can you sign this for me?!" Beryl shrieked eagerly as she presented her forearm to the trio.

"Calm down, everyone, one at a time!" Edward settled every Gem down. "Now, your Crystal Gem friends have called us today because they noticed a serious problem with you guys."

"Yeah, they just won't accept that not every pair consisting of a male and a female have to be a couple!" Teal said with an accusing finger towards Cat's side.

"And they won't realize the sexual tension between Pierre and Percy!" Cat added with a claw pointed at Teal.

"Oh goody, just as I feared." Bella rolled her eyes in annoyance before she turned to her male co-stars with a smirk. "Want to break out the secret weapon, boys?"

"I'll go first." Edward smiled before revealing a wedding ring on his finger. "As most of you may not know, I'm a married man. Can you guess to who?"

"It's Jacob, obviously!" Peridot declared. "If the actors aren't married, then it's obviously queerbaiting!"

"No, queerbaiting is when they advertise actual same-sex relationships only to not follow through with it!" Lapis objected. "Not getting mad whenever your favorite gay ship isn't made canon!"

"Oh, how wrong you are." Bella proclaimed as she and Jacob revealed wedding rings of their own. "All three of us are married to each other! We got hitched not too long ago after a reunion special."

"No way, you three are married?!" White Topaz's eyes widened in surprise and delight.

"I'll admit, I didn't see that coming at all." Garnet added, just as shocked that her future vision couldn't even predict what she had just heard.

"Oh, if all three of them are married, then I guess there's no point to this!" Teal exclaimed as she and Cat's Eye turned to each other and shook hands. "Let's all be friends again!"

"Oh yes, friends!" Cat sneered as the two sides united as friends once more, completely forgetting about the heartbreak, the betrayal, the strife, and especially the sheer insanity of the situation.

"Sorry I took this too far, Peri." Lapis nervously apologized to Peridot. "I'll admit it; I had no idea what I was thinking when we decided to go to war."

"Me neither." Peridot responded just as awkwardly. "Are we still friends, even if we have different opinions?"

"Sure, even though I don't really have any strong opinions on ships whatsoever." Lapis answered warmly before the two Gems hugged.

"Yep, polyamorous marriage works like a charm when you want to stop ship wars." Jacob grinned with his hands on his hips before turning to the Crystal Gems. "Thanks for inviting us here, Crystal Gems. You got a really colorful bunch of friends here, no pun intended."

"The pleasure is all ours." Garnet nodded. "You're free to come back anytime."

"We'd love to stay and do a little meet and greet, but we gotta get going." Ed said as he walked over to the rental car he and his partners used to reach Little Homeworld. "Come on, guys, let's rock and roll!"

"On second thought, I don't see us leaving anytime soon." Bella admitted as she peeked under the hood of the car. "The engine's been stolen!"

"What, but how?! And who?!" Jacob yelled as he rushed to the car, seeing the large gap where the engine should be. "And how did they steal it without any of us noticing?!"

"Well, at least you got more time to spend here." Peridot said to the three actors. "How does that meet and greet sound?"

"Eh, I got nothing better to do today." Edward shrugged. "Okay, who's up for autographs?!" The Gems all eagerly raised their hands as Edward began signing Camp Pining Hearts posters to hand out to everyone, uniting them all in their love for the series as Peridot had intended. However, the identity of the car engine thief was still a mystery to everyone, even though the thief in question had dark designs for the engine.

--

"The Crystal Gems have given me the perfect chance to add another ingredient to the Vortexxer's construction!" Black Rutile laughed maniacally as she put the car engine down on the floor. "Quick, someone help me hook this up!"

"Got it!" Eyeball exclaimed as she used a pair of jumper cables to connect the engine to the unfinished portal, causing the machine to briefly spark to life. "I can't believe it; I saw a light! That has to mean something good, right?"

"Indeed, we're almost finished." Black Rutile declared pridefully with her arms akimbo as she gazed at the soon-to-be-finished portal. "Just need to keep biding our time. I don't care who gets in our way! I don't care what it takes! Whatever is on the other side will finally help me win!"

--

Talk about a rather dark note to end this escapade on, huh? Black Rutile has another important piece of the Vortexxer acquired now, but it's going to take a little while for her to find a way to fix what flaws the original version had. But until then, it's back to some goofy fun times for all, starting with a little lifeguard fanservice for me. Yes, I'm going there, and I have no regrets!