#starters: do revenge

[sowritten]

𝐃𝐎  𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄

who wants a bite of me?

listen babe, nothing is as it seems.

god, you sound like you want to wear her skin.

do you think I did too much?

do you want me to push her in the pool? do you want me to light her hair on fire?

you look incredible tonight.

how could you do this to me?

baby, come on. I would never do this.

channel that anger into getting what you want.

why would he do this to me?

I hated myself for letting my guard down.

peaking in high school is cringe.

you have a really weird energy.

I don’t need your pity.

you insufferable cunt! I know you did this!

I don’t even do cocaine!

you think I framed you?

do you still not want my pity?

I know what it’s like to get screwed over by someone you thought you could trust.

you really had that pent-up, huh?

you look like you want a grilled cheese. let’s get you a grilled cheese.

I thought you were gonna put out a hit on me or something.

okay, I’ll just go fuck myself.

to be honest, I’m still recovering.

I just want to say how sorry I am for what happened to you last year.

oh, I’m sorry ‘school house rock’, are you dragging my sentence structure right now?

we won’t get caught, that’s the whole point.

I don’t want to make her pay. I want to burn her to the ground.

you’re giving off some serious glenn close in fatal attraction energy right now.

I can ruin her in my sleep.

I’m Frankenstein, and you’re Frankenstein’s bad bitch.

your new vibe is high-status cunt.

sometimes you have to pretend to be someone else to get what you want.

oh my god, don’t be so dramatic.

you called me a human birkenstock.

I’ve always been very intrigued by what you do here.

cool.

my ex-girlfriend is mad that I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend.

make revenge mommy proud.

are you stalking me?

I like your shirt. did it come with a bag of granola and a matching pair of Tevas?

what are you doing here?

that’s the exciting part of getting to know someone; you’re a mystery until you’re not.

the orgy usually starts around sundown.

can we talk about it, please?

well, we’re not having sex. you can go fuck yourself.

tell me something nobody knows about you.

I’m interesting, and you want to impress me.

what do you want to be?

we’re all just performing.

this feels illegal.

I want her to hit me with her Tesla and then reverse back over me.

I want her to stuff me like a taxidermy doll and then mount me on her wall like a prize.

I want her to hide my body in the woods and then start the search party trying to find me.

I am so proud of you. this is going to be the best night ever.

I feel like a little butterfly!

it’s called double assurance, sweetie. look it up.

are you on mushrooms?

your instincts were right.

you know you don’t have to be brave with me.

this sucks. it’s allowed to suck.

do you think I’ll feel better?

I’m just so angry all the time.

sometimes it just hurts to exist, you know?

I just want to feel normal again.

I like you; you’re just like me.

I didn’t know you were an artist.

rude... but fair.

don’t equate your worth to some archaic idea of what the best means.

can I say something that might make you very uncomfortable?

I’m shocked! this is shocking news!

we’re casting spells tonight, bitch.

ban men!

get in there and eat that ass, is what I’m saying!

don’t do that! don’t pity me, and definitely don’t touch me!

I lost everything! fucking everything!

they need to feel the consequences of what they did to me.

they have to pay. all of them.

I feel like I’m being eaten alive from the inside, actually.

do you ever look around and just think, how did I get here?

all this shit, it’s just armour.

I really like you. I wanna tell you everything.

everything I thought I hated was exactly what I always wanted.

what’s going on in that head of yours?

I just need a little distraction from all the stress.

can’t we put all this ugliness aside?

I think you handled that very well.

nice entrance.

what do you think you’re doing?

you don’t even answer my texts!

those people do not care about you.

they’re not your friends.

oh my god, you’re pathetic.

none of this is real!

are you any different from them?

are you sure? there’s never been any evidence.

I mean this from the bottom of my heart: fuck you.

did you overhear that?

you said some pretty messed up stuff out there.

someone was probably messing with you.

from the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the worst for the rest of your miserable fucking existence.

I love your ear balls.

sleep with one eye open, bitch.

I’ve had the upper hand the entire time.

you made this pretty easy, I gotta say.

you’ll never get away with this.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep anymore.

where does this game end?

there is nothing else you can take away from me.

I’m going to make sure that you’re stuck with your pain forever, because I am stuck with mine.

if you want to ruin me, go ahead. I’m not helping you.

I promise I can explain.

I had no choice!

do you ever think about anyone other than yourself?

I really wanted this to work, but it just doesn’t.

I was deciding between this and elsa, but I kind of thought you weren’t an elsa person, although you are a frigid bitch.

I’m sorry that I hit you with my car.

there’s nothing vapid people love more than making other peoples’ tragedies about them.

don’t cry. it’s alright.

I wish it could have been different.

what should have felt exhilarating just felt rotten.

how did you know I’d be here?

I miss you.

it shouldn’t have taken an accident for me to realize that, and I’m sorry.

I think you’re lucky.

I don’t feel free. I feel like I got hit by a car.

I give up. I’m done.

show everybody what a bad bitch looks like.

I created you, and I can just as easily destroy you.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.

we can’t erase what we did to each other, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

you might be the only real friend I’ve ever had.

I will regret what I did to you forever.

I’m sorry.... for everything.

did you just enter doing a slow clap, you cliché piece of shit?

you really are the devil.

I thought we had a whole will-they, won’t-they thing going on.

where are you going with this?

I know all your secrets now.

no one would’ve given a shit about you if it wasn’t for me.

why the fuck are you laughing?

goddamn do I love you right now.

I think we might be fucked-up soulmates.

you are a very lucky girl.

fuck you. we’re over.

I think you should leave.

I don’t want to be that person anymore.

everything you’ve done, everything that’s happened to you, has brought you to this moment.

fuck figuring out who you’re meant to be. stay lost as long as you can.

I wanted to do something cute, like a grand gesture.

[carnivorouswillgraham]

i cannot put into words how much i love clearly mentally ill characters. paranoid characters and characters that are led by their anger and characters that push away the people they love because of their abandonment issues and characters drowning in guilt and

[mercsandmonsters]

Tag Dump #1: The Basics

We're gonna start over.

[aro-ortega]

replayed beau in rebirth, changed a Lot

[vocesincaput]

OPEN STARTER: Izzy Hands

Just how this... Mr. Buttons had gotten inside the fort, Ricky had no idea. But he had quickly been found and captured by his men and brought down to the cells. He currently had the man sat on a chair in the middle of the large area, a long large cell lining either side. Within the cells were people that Ricky knew Buttons would recognise.

The minor Prince was starting to become frustrated as it was becoming more and more apparent that Buttons wasn't going to be intimidated. In fact, the man almost seemed amused.

"Don't you know that I could kill you right now? No one would care."

Buttons simply smirked before sitting a little straighter in the chair. Keeping his eyes on Ricky.

"Let me tell you a story, lad. I was given a very special scroll and on that very special scroll, was a spell. A spell for transmogrification." Ricky was already getting bored with the tale, half tempted to grab one of the guns from the nearby table and just kill the man to get it over and done with.

"And the spell worked, aye. That's 'ow I got in here. I flew." Ricky gave a smirk of disbelief and rolled his eyes. Buttons simply smiled before continuing. Knowing that the other man had no idea where his story was leading.

"But... there was another spell on the scroll. A very special spell. Very tricky. Took me a while to figure it out, but I did." Buttons was slowly leaning forward as he spoke. The smile on his lips growing gradually bigger.

"It was a spell for.... resurrection."

Buttons stood as he spoke, no fear in his eyes as Ricky drew his sword and pointed it at the former first mate. Making the other man smirk.

"I'm not afraid of you." Ricky warned him. To which Buttons simply smirked.

"Tis not I, ya need to be afraid of, lad." He replied before his eyes shifted to just over the minor princes shoulder towards the dark stairwell before a gunshot rang out. Sending Ricky crumpling to the floor, clutching his leg.

"Took your time," Buttons stated calmly as he looked into the dark entry. After a few moments, a strange but recognisable footfall could be heard descending the last few steps

The sound of footsteps separated by the distinct sound of wood against stone.

The moments passed and the resurrected Israel Hands stepped out from the shadows and into the light. Gun still in his hand and eyes fixed upon the weak Prince on the floor.

"Mr. Buttons, take His keys and let them out."

"Yes, Mr Hands, sir."

---

// below the cut is a terrible diagram of the layout of the cell area. //

[inexorcble]

open to all 35+ ; the two of them (or could do mumu if wanted) committed and then covered up at least one murder when they were in their 20s

The appointment on her calendar was a meeting with a prospective new stakeholder at the standard upscale bar that her assistant knew she preferred. Normally, taking such meetings was below her and something she would delegate but this could be important. Ariella took a sip of her drink but almost spit it out when she saw who walked in. Nearly two decades had passed but she still recognized them. “So you are the multimillionaire who is interested in buying out Mr. Sheldon?” She asked, rising as they approached and offering her hand. 

[more-than-a-princess]

@causalitylinked asked: what’s going on in that head of yours? [ from kensuke! ]

Do Revenge Sentence Starters - No Longer Accepting!

Sonia hummed in thought over the glow of her laptop screen. Reclined on one of the sectionals in her Tokyo condo's vast living room, she'd been half-listening to Kensuke practice on the grand piano, the room's centerpiece, half-scrolling online. After awhile, she hadn't even noticed he'd stopped playing. With her blonde brows furrowed in concentration, the tip of her tongue pursed between her lips, she continued to read, nodding every so often.

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

Jolted back to the present by the sound of his voice, Sonia gasped, sitting up straight before realizing he'd simply ended the piece he'd been playing. With a sigh of relief, she settled back into the sectional's plush cushions, shooting him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I must have been truly focused there that I didn't recognize the fact you finished your song," She told him honestly, setting the computer on the small table by her side. Considering when she last looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows, the afternoon sun had shone brightly and now she was met with a dark evening sky, it had been some time since she'd gone down that research rabbit hole.

If it only had been work she'd been focused on, but a quick visit to reddit had prompted a suggested thread with nearly a thousand comments, and she was intent on reading as many as she could. "It's just that someone in the horror subreddit posed the question of the most prominent, or at least perplexing, horror film mysteries and there's so many good candidates. Such as, how did Michael Myers learn to drive if he was shut up in an institution since he was a child? And what did Anna whisper to Madame about what happens after you die in Martyrs, after she was flayed alive? And how did Malcolm not know he was dead in The Sixth Sense? Yes, it provides one of the best cinematic reveals a horror and thriller film in the past forty years, but surely some of the situations he'd find himself in, he'd realize he was dead."

She'd given him only a taste of the thread's top-voted comments before taking a breath, her smile far more giddy now that she'd been prompted to speak at length about a favorite hobby. "That, and the fact I wanted to purchase one of the limited edition cherry blossom-themed travel cups from Starbucks. They release so many cute, new designs each year! And sometimes you can barely taste the coffee in a mixed drink, which I prefer."

The thought of limited edition cup patterns elicited a soft groan from her, or rather, it was her empty stomach. She'd missed lunch that day in favor of finishing her schedule that day a bit earlier, so she would have time to listen to him play. "Are you finishing up for now?" She asked, eyebrows rising in interest. "Not that I dislike your playing of course, it's just that I think it's still early enough to go out for a little bit. Enjoy the spring weather and all."

[tragedienes]

character: mattie open: m/f/nb plot: mattie is a socialite-in-waiting, a pauper trying to turn princess. she’s been lying to all her rich friends that she’s rich too, only for your muse to randomly come into the diner she works at days before and discover she’s nothing more than a poor waitress. it’s up to you on what they do with that information! as for now, mattie’s groveling.

okay. shit. two days ago, she’d innocently being working the night shift, when her world suddenly shattered. well, the fake world she crafted for herself had shattered. no one in the city of new york knew that mattie was lying about everything: her family, where she came from, the fact that she was nearly two hundred thousand dollars in credit card debt. as far as her rich friends knew, she fit right in with them, a hotel heiress from brazil that never had to work for a thing in her life. mattie feared her stomach was going to be permanently clenched from anxiety, waiting for all her friends to drop her. when they would figure out mattie was technically stealing from them, letting them pay for all the parties and expensive trips and clothes, just about everything. how she’d use take their credit cards because she knew they had no limit and her friends wouldn’t ever see the statements anyways. it was all working so perfectly—until that one damn shift. now the person in front of her held her fate and future in manhattan in their hands, and matilde doubted they’d just brush it off. “please... i know you don’t owe me anything, but i’m begging you. please. do not tell anyone about the other day. i’ll do anything you want, just don’t let the others know!”

[byakugoseal]

tag dump: broken & updated tags part ii

[hlysins]

tag dump: miscellaneous

[sillygoosealert]

CAN YOU DO A REVENGE VERSION OF SUKUNA BETRAYING READER??!! LIKE WHAT IF READER RUNS AWAY BC THEY ACCIDENTALLY WITNESS HIM BEDDING ANOTHER CONCUBINE WHAT WOULD SUKUNA DO? SEND AN ARMY, BURN THE WORLD DOWN?!! 😭😭😭 AND CAN U TRY TO WEITE SOME COMFORT OR FLUFF AT THE END TYSMN

The Morning After (Before)

Days After Initiating Sexual-intercourse (whY)

angst, comfort in being alone, upset (angry) Sukuna, you leave, BEFORE you leave it's a toxic relationship, AFAB reader, woopsie Daisy- i killed off the reader (i got carried away ::( )

To explain your feelings to anyone but yourself brings tears to your already puffy eyes. Since that night, there are so many things you've noticed that you could talk about endlessly.

For starters, his boldness has increased plenty- as he is now more than comfortable with having multiple concubines clinging onto him while he slouches in his throne. When asked to describe him just a month or two ago, you would've gone on and on about how he was a gentle giant with you- a lie, but you would've sugar-coated anything when it came to him.

Right now, all you could even think about when it came to him was how good it would feel for all those women to look at him with disgust at his actions instead of devotion and whatever made-up fantasy they had made up in their heads. That's how you look at him anyway.

You despise keeping up with your cleaning and even dread entering his chamber with him. Furthermore, you do not act like you are interested in him. Eyes once filled with adornment and even some curiosity are now loaded with resentment and a trace of disinterest. He sees it, everyone else sees it, and you feel it. But it doesn't make you feel better knowing he knows- it just makes the pit of dread in your stomach grow.

You know you want him to care, but you can't help but feel he puts up a show of all the women at his disposal when you're in the vicinity- stretching his upper arms out and putting each one around a mistress while one or two sit on his spread-out lap. All you can think when you look at him is how much of an arrogant whore he truly is.

When he calls someone to bring you to his chambers, he always makes sure to feel up whoever is bringing you before shooing them out. His shoulders broaden as he motions you to come up on the bed. He looks bigger than he did a moment ago, and you can't help but feel he's doing it on purpose.

It's been weeks since you watched him choose 5 minutes of feeling good over you sleeping well at night. Was it worth it? You don't know. But the way he tries to passionately kiss you while his lower half eats you out makes you think he's trying to act like it didn't mean anything.

Regardless, you can't help but notice that the same woman is always seated on his lap whenever you catch a glance of him basking in all the attention he can.

The light slap to your thigh makes you look at him directly in the eyes for a second, before looking off to the side. That makes him huff, sitting upwards. Silence speaks volumes for both of you, as you are refusing to talk about your feelings because you think you know how it'll go; and he doesn't want to admit he's hurt by your rejection. So you both don't say anything.

This happens whenever he tries to initiate something intimate. You shut down. It often ends with stillness enfolding the room and an awkwardness surrounding you.

After a few minutes of waiting you leave without a word, and he lets you. While you go on to cry into your pillow and go on another night without comfort, while he gets a few concubines to praise him and fill the growing void with arrogance.

The more you clean and the less you eat and sleep, the feeling of wanting to die increases. Passing out when you get just a chance to lie down is now a common occurrence for you, as well as taking your time standing up.

Maybe you're depressed because you thought he would indulge in your selfishness and let you be the only woman to touch him so intimately. It's also possible that all the chemicals and labor are finally taking their toll on you and your body, meaning your time is shortening just as much as the other maids.

But the day doesn't start with you preparing to dust and sweep; it starts in Ryomen's Room.

You aren't upset anymore. You know that it contributes nothing and won't change anything. Instead of crying into your pillow or blaming yourself for his actions, you just go on. The world kept spinning after that night. Your heart kept beating- for now. The thought of him having sex like it wasn't once you under him isn't frustrating anymore. Not knowing what you want is, but you can handle that. You won't be his woman- you won't even be his man; you won't be anything to him if you can have a say in it.

He sits you in a chair facing his bed, clearing his throat as if he's going to speak- but he doesn't. Raising your eyebrow, you once again are met with speechlessness.

"What?" On cue, he acts offended, as if he isn't relieved you chose to speak up.

"Don't speak to me like that, Concubine."

"I'm more of a maid now than anything, my lord." He hums when you say that.

"You could be more than that- you could be much more. If you weren't so thoughtless." Thoughtless isn't a word you would use. Maybe more impassive- or a less self-absorbed characterization.

"What makes you say that?" An obnoxious sigh comes out of him.

"Jealousy fills you to the point you can't enjoy being one of my favorite concubines," He pauses

"It must be…oppugning to see me with so many women who aren't you," His posture straightens.

"But understand, the only difference between you and them is how you act."

"What's wrong with you? You don't understand why I feel this way at all, do you?" A sneer is plastered across his face now.

"Redirect your hostility towards yourself. Your jealousy is your concern, Not mine."

"I'm not talking to you. Lecture your other mistresses-" A hand pivots your head to face him.

"Keep speaking to me like you are not leagues below me. I won't hesitate to discard you."

"I'm sure you won't." He motions for you to go away as another concubine waits at the door. They give you a curious look before heading in. It's just her, no one else. That used to be you.

Later that night, after the last meal of the day, you're mopping the dining hall floors. You're pouring more cleaner into the water. You are alone.

That realization floods awful thoughts into your mind as the morning replays in your mind. And without thinking, you unscrew the cap again and bring it to your lips.

While taking a large sip from it, liquid spilling from your mouth and onto the floor, the taste of soap and something else fills your senses.

You start to gag and dry heave as it goes down your throat. Swallowing your vomit, you run off to your room after putting your things away.

There isn't anything after you close your eyes, not anymore for you, at least.

You fall asleep thinking about the night in question. It loads you with a peaceful feeling.

There's nothing you can do now. No more choosing to stay silent when all you want to do is crawl into your side of his bed and cry. You don't even have to choose to let go of your feelings of envy and insecurity.

You wonder what he'll do with your body the morning after somebody finds your decomposing body.

Tag list: @kbirdieee2540 @apollogeticx @night-brain

[starkwlkr]

you should definitely have Olivia + her brothers do that challenge where it’s like “who’s more lenient” “who’s more strict” and the kids dunk Hugh and Mom head into water or something like that 😭 and then have Mom & Dad do it to them “who is more rebellious” “who asks for more money” “who does their school work” etc

do it for the tiktok | hugh jackman

an: thank you anon for the request!! olivia back at it again with the tiktok trends 😭

marvel actress!reader masterlist

“But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well for starters, you’re not supposed to drown me in the bowl!” You were nervous, but prepared yourself.

“Mom, you have to do it for the tiktok!”

Olivia had the bright idea to do a tiktok trend with her family. She found the audio for the trend then quickly explained the trend to her parents. On the table were two large bowls filled with water. When Olivia explained, you were certain so many things would go wrong. You sat next to Hugh, who was more than ready.

“Alright, are we ready?” Olivia asked everyone. Alex and Reese mumbled a ‘yes’ while Hugh have a thumbs up, you nod. “Okay, lets start.”

“Who’s more strict?”

You were dunked into the water by all three kids without warning. It was fast, but it caught you by surprise. “Oh my god.” You said when you came back up.

“Who’s the messiest?” You and Hugh stayed safe for that question. You were both pretty organized people.

“Who’s is the worse driver?”

You already knew it was coming. Your head got dunked in the water by Olivia.

“I’m not that bad!” You protested.

“Who snores the loudest?” Finally it was Hugh’s turn to get dunked. Water spilled everywhere, some splashing on your clothes.

“I don’t like this game anymore.” Hugh wiped his face off with a napkin.

“Who’s more likely to get arrested?”

None of the kids knew the answer so they didn’t do anything.

“Who’s the cooler parent?”

For that, both you and Hugh went down. At least the kids thought you were cool and that was all that mattered.

It was now the kids turn to be dunked into the water bowls. You added a third one since it was Alex, Reese and Olivia. You and Hugh were more than ready to get some revenge.

“Who’s the messiest?”

Hugh and you put Olivia’s head in the bowl. She was already expecting to be dunked anyways.

“I’m pretty sure she has a coffee pot under her bed. Stop trying to be Nancy Thompson, Liv.” Reese teased.

“Who got into trouble more growing up?”

You dunked Alex’s head, Hugh let you do the honor. You had lost count of how many times Alex’s principal called when Alex was in school. You never received any complaints about Reese, while with Olivia it was just a few.

“I’m pretty sure my teachers hated me.” Alex laughed, grabbing the napkin Hugh passed him to wipe his face off.

“Who asks for more money?”

Since both Alex and Reese had their own, that left Olivia to be the one that somewhat relied on you and Hugh financially. Hugh was the one that dunked Olivia in the water.

“Speaking of asking for money…” Olivia smiled.

“No, I’m not giving you money.” Hugh said.

“Fine, a birkin will do just fine.”

“Who is the most rebellious?”

Easy, none of the kids. (But if you were to ask that question a couple years ago, it would be Alex getting his head shoved into the water.)

“Who is the favorite child?”

For the last question, you and Hugh dunked all the kids’ heads in the water.

@kellyxo1

[gliideren]

ana sofía herrera tag dump !!

[zoeylcwrence]

tag drop!

[fangirl-dot-com]

Incorrect Quotes

all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)

Y/n: I’m cool Oscar  Y/n: I’m THEE coolest  Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses*  Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down. 

Y/n: I have a very specific type  Max: Oh yeah? Like what?  Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing  Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here  Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one.  Max: *flabbergasted* 

Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone  Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to  Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here?  Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE  Y/n: perfect  Oscar and Lando: 

Y/n: I brought a red bull  Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me?  Y/n: It’s a conversation starter.  Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter  Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull* 

Y/n: *gently taps table*  Logan: *taps back*  Alex: what are they doing?  George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table*  Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK- 

Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated  Y/n: Killed without hesitation  Lewis: nO!

Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral?  Mitch: Not if they consent to it.  Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing.  Christian: YES?! 

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Y/n: Shit  Logan: Wait, three?  Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!! 

Max: Time for plan G.  Liam: Don’t you mean plan B?  Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.  Y/n: What about plan D?  Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.  Max: What about plan E?  Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E  Yuki: I like plan E. 

Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea?  *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint*  Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway. 

George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge  Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name. 

Arthur: So what’s your type?  Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist  Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb?  Arthur: yeah, why?  Y/n: just making sure 

*Over Text* 

Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed  Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you?  Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal? 

Waitress: And what would you like to eat?  Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn  Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs 

Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves?  Lando: Or do they count humans?  Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question  Oscar: GO TO SLEEP 

Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult  *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads*  *turns back to Max*  Y/n: I am an adult 

*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur* 

Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it!  Max:  Charles:  Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER  Charles: *sighs* here we go again  Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK  Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this 

Ollie: Good night everyone  Arthur: Good night  Lando: Good night  Oscar: Good night  Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop  Oscar: I’M DONE

George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure  *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past*  Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child 

Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind  Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys?  Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder. 

Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food?  Liam: Sure, thanks!  Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT  Y/n: WE did  Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf

Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents!  Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins  Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away* 

Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those  Lando: Which one?  Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot.  Max: I let you win next race   Y/n: still

(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more) 

Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise  George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do  *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire*  Logan:…Or she could do that. 

Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science  Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban 

(max and y/n in a horror movie) 

Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?  Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS  Y/n: oh  Y/n: (looks down at wound)  Y/n: red 

Lando: I wish we could block people in real life.  Oscar: Restraining order  Y/n: Murder 

Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days  Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava 

Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad  Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad 

Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug*  Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug)  Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers 

Criminals: We have your daughter and son  Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches?  Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George

 

Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday?  Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now.  Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD 

Christian: Max is late again  Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM  Christian: I think you may have overdone it  Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT? 

Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!

Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...

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[drenched-in-sunlight]

I didn’t want to write this out this early because I’m sure there are even more to discover, but people are already reblogging my previous art of Marika and Messmer & saying Marika doesn’t love him, so I write this out as a guideline that all my art is drawn with this theory in mind.

(While the DLC has changed the way I feel about certain events and characters, my view on Messmer and Marika remain unchanged. In fact, I think Marika skyrockets into my most fav in the game now. lol.)

* Beware of endgame spoiler under the cut

Please note that I wrote this without providing the item descriptions I use to develop this theory, because I want to make a proper post later with all evidence after I’ve played through all of the DLC. But those items exist and could be found in game.

Here is how I view Messmer and Marika’s relationship (he is her most beloved child):

For starter:

*the winged serpent - Messmer’s symbol, is considered a wise creature and is his friend. It is NOT the snakes that are viewed as traitors to the Erdtree, since the Serpent Crest shield was even made to commemorate his crusade. It’s also DIFFERENT from the evil snake he was born with.

*this is not to defend their actions, they are still horrible people, but I want to show that they have depths and are well-written characters with stories and emotions. My unhinged mother and son duo 😔✊

—-

I like the poetry in Marika starting the war against the Fire Giants in part as revenge for Messmer (it’s implied the Fell God is the Outer God that cursed him / it’s outright stated that he hated his fire), & now Messmer leading the purge against the Hornsent as revenge for Marika and her people (it’s implied the disappearance of her village has sth to do with the spirit calling rite the people at the Tower were doing).

I actually think Marika raised Messmer in her home village for a while too. She didn’t throw him to LoS alone, she was raising him in secret in her home, fearing people will judge him for carrying a malevolent snake. The two Tree Sentinels before the village dropped Marika’s Blessing. Yes. the Blessing she made specifically for him.

When you zoom in the Marika statue in his boss room, she was smiling when hugging him. I think ppl tend to forget that Marika, like Malenia and Miquella, carries tree/ foliage motif. RADAGON IS WEAK TO FIRE. If Messmer was cursed with fire and it started to manifest around him … of course she couldn’t embrace him anymore. It was physically hurting her, and Messmer wouldn’t have wanted to cause her pain as well. The soldier ghost at Ensis castle was begging Marika to embrace her child again, implying it’s sth that he yearns for. But couldn’t have now. Because of his damned curse.

If you look at the story that way, Messmer’s death dialogue makes perfect sense. It’s his lament that he’s gone from Marika’s precious (presumably firstborn) child, a source of her happiness, to a curse against her (*point to Radagon’s hair as another connection to Fire Giants and their curse). Robbing her (and himself) of the close bond they used to share.

It’s why Messmer alone has more blessings *directly* from Marika than any other Demigods. His army also receives more blessings than any other faction on the Lands Between, and they all refer to Marika as dearest Mother and Fair Mother.

Hell, after Messmer, Marika couldn’t connect to any of her other children again. This is like the ultimate doomed mother and son. Whatever I expected from them from the beginning, Fromsoft cranked it to eleven. Jfc.