#statehumans puerto rico

[weirdestbooks]

Camping is Deadly (Wattpad | Ao3)

Requested by LikeAPro42

In hindsight, accepting an invitation from Florida to go on a camping trip wasn’t the best idea. But Mississippi was bored, and a break from her government had sounded wonderful. Now, she was wondering if it was too late to escape.

“¿Por qué hizo empezar un fuego, Puerto Rico?” (Why did you start a fire Puerto Rico?) Florida yelled as he began stamping out the flames slowly spreading towards the tents.

“Yo pensé muy divertido.” (I thought it was very funny) Puerto Rico snapped back sarcastically, looking like he wanted to beat Florida over the head with his wooden spoon, his ears pulled back against his wooly hair, his teeth bared. Of course, that wasn’t as intimidating as Puerto Rico probably wanted it to be, considering he wasn’t lucky enough to get fangs.

It was, however, very adorable.

“I’m surprised it took us this long to get to arson,” Georgia commented, watching the scene with amusement.

“It’s not arson if it’s an accident!” Puerto Rico yelled back.

“But wasss it an asssident?” Alabama asked.

“Cállate, snake boy.” Puerto Rico snapped, throwing the spoon at Alabama. Alabama ducked, but Louisana caught the spoon. 

“Now, frær, if you had broken one of my good spoons, I would have kicked your ass. You decided to have me make soupé, and I will ban you from eating my food till you get me a new one.” Louisiana said.

“No, lo siento, Ana. Por favor, don’t make me eat Rida’s cooking.” Puerto Rico begged, getting on his knees.

“Rude! I never sent you to the hospital!” Florida said, knocking his elbow into Puerto Rico’s head.

“Yeah, 'cause I don’t go to hospitals anymore, bruto.” Puerto Rico argued, “Not since that hijo de puta Rhoads.”

“That’s gonna get ya killed one day, piti,” Louisiana commented as Puerto Rico stood up, repeatedly jabbing his elbow toward Florida. Upon hearing Louisiana’s comment, his face seemed to fall slightly.

“Hasn’t gotten me killed yet.” Puerto Rico muttered quietly, crossing his arms. Georgia went to stand beside him, bumping their shoulders together as a sign of comfort. Puerto Rico shot her a small smile.

“Ah, the mindset of a true American.” Mississippi commented, trying to break the tension, causing Puerto Rico to flip her off, “Oh come on, that was a compliment!”

“Can I get unadopted now? I’ll go be a recluse on my island and kidnap a bunch of people’s kids like Wai.” Puerto Rico sighed. Florida snorted.

“Lo siento, hermanito. You’re stuck with us until the end times.” Florida said, throwing an arm around Puerto Rico.

“Sweet, I’ll be free next week.” Puerto Rico said, causing Louisana to point her spoon at him.

“Piti, get that attitude out of my kitchen.” They threatened, causing amused laughter to ripple through the group.

“Lou, it’s bumfuck nowhere, Florida,” Alabama said, “Lassst time we were here, we all had to go to the hossspital after Rida made us food. Assside from Richard, who doesssn’t want to care about hisss health.”

“Rida gave you poisonous berries. I am making food, and you will respect me.” Louisiana said, ignoring Puerto Rico’s complaints that he did get medical attention. 

“They weren’t poisonous. Y’all are just cowards,” Florida argued, prompting Georgia to elbow him sharply in the ribs.

“Why did I let Florida talk me into this again?” Mississippi murmured.

“I don’t know why you did, but Rida bribed me with Louis’ cooking.” Puerto Rico said, gaining nods of agreement from everyone aside from Louisiana.

“High praise from my siblings, but also, ouch, Flor, am I just a bargaining chip to you?” Louisiana asked, hand over their heart.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Florida answered, no emotion in his voice,

“There’s a joke to be had about our biological father there.” Puerto Rico said.

“Quiet, or you’re going in the swamp.”

“Oh no, the swamp, so scary. I’m gonna see snakes and bugs!” Puerto Rico snarked back.

“Well, maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll see Shrek,” Mississippi said, crossing her arms.

“Please, Shrek has standards. Why would he be in Florida?” Puerto Rico asked.

“¡Me cansé! El tiempo de pantano.” (That’s it! Swamp time.) Florida said, rushing at Puerto Rico, who dodged, blew a raspberry at Florida, then vanished, “¡Hijo de puta!” 

“Well, at leassst there were no casssualtiesss thisss time.” 

[universalcowboyclown2006]

Florida's relationship with his family (aka: the ex colonies of the spanish empire and Spain):

(old post that was on the drafts)

I wanted to do this since I knew that Florida used to be a spanish colony (and it was when I was on the countryhumans and statehumans fandom and the pandemic).

Well, let's just say that Florida's existence usually is forgotten by his "siblings" (sorry for that, Flo) because he's mostly perceived as an inmature, kept, dyslexic and having a younger brother's attitude mostly of the time. Otherwise, Florida also doesn't have a close relationship with them besides Cuba, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and mostly all the caribean countries because of the distance and diplomatic stuff due his "siblings" are all or almost all independent countries with their issues and governments.

When Florida was a colony, he was neglected but not too much thanks to Mexico (yes, here Mexico is kinda nice but also had to mature fast to help to look after his "siblings" and end up with a generational trauma which Texas end up being a victim too), Cuba and Puerto Rico but yet neglected by Spain; usually passing his time playing alone and talking with gators. That made on him a more reserved and "calm" personality (he stills being hyperactive), submissive to Spain and loving her as his mom (thing that Spain TOTALLY doesn't deserve) no mattering what; in actual terms could be he was afraid of her abandoning and/or hurting him.

When the rise of independence in latinoamerica started, he felt he was being set aside by everyone in his family (Also Philippines and Guam felt the same as Florida but they were used to it), so he decided to do the same; get independence from Spain. He got a little help from Venezuela (West Florida Republic reference) but Spain didn't accept it in right terms and after the try of independence from Florida but before she sell him to the US, she punish him and...

???

The rest is unknown because...

Florida doesn't like to talk about it and possibly forgot it.

So...

He has mommy issues (daddy issues if you see Spain as a man)? Yes

And the rest of spanish colonies too (including my country of course)? Yes

And also, he has abandonment issues by the way because... Being honest, some colonies didn't give a shit if Florida existed or not or if he was dead or alive (that also includes my country, sorry), they were minding their own bussines and even didn't know his existence.

But they've known what punishment did Spain to him but they don't talk about it because for them it was traumatic to know and see the consequences of the punishment for Florida

[weirdestarrow]

The territories! I had such a hard time with American Samoa’s flag and positioning it.

[askcountryhumansusa]

Question! WOULDNT Spain be his actually mother? Because back in the early days even after the independence, Spain ruled over half of America before he fought and or bought the land from Spain/Mexico ? (⌒_⌒;)

Great question! The main reason I consider France to be Ame’s mother is because she helped him fight in the war for his independence, thus without her he would not exist.

As for Spain, America bought Florida, Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philipenes from him but the rest of the major territory gains (like Texas, California, etc.) were won from an independent Mexico. So in that case I kind of consider Spain/Mexico to be the parents of those states.

I actually have this amazing picture that should help explain a lot~

So when it comes to Spain he is more of a father to Florida, Guam, Puerto Rico, etc, along with Ame. Though with the amount of trouble Florida causes, I’m sure Ame would be more than happy to share parental responsibilities.

———————————————————————————————————–

[Ame: I’ll pay you back, just…please. I can’t anymore, Spain. I’ve got enough crazy dealing with the South already.

Spain: Hahaha…..]