#steambird polls!

[charlotte-official]

"the time has come for your interview! ready to be a star?" est: 09/18/23

For all your Teyvat-official account drama and weekly shenanigans, tune in every week for a post written by none other than yours truly on how the week went! Except, it's all recapped, here, on the Steambird!

(Ahem. So in other words, hey, yknow those Genshin official accounts? ex @niloupalata or @cyno-the-adventurer, well, for relatively inactive accounts like wanderer or albedo who don’t know what has happened and want to catch up on posting, I’m your gal! Also for normal people who don’t want to just read all those text posts. Anyway, tune in for summaries, special favorite excerpts of mine, etc. I take suggestions, so feel free to slide into the ask box!)

from which was once an individual person scrambling to update every week (and consistently failing) is now a team(of currently one because charlotte is not a good manager) ready and working hard to present to you: the steambird.

the steambird's team applications here

updates on thursdays - mod has succumbed and given up a attempt to have a sort of schedule—she kinda just posts whenever she wants now send help she is a horrible manager

The original mod would also recommend for the full steambird experience to go on the desktop website, where you can find all the articles. but if that's not possible, you can find everything here. This also includes interviews. Every single issue. in order. Even the latest issue this week!

tags:

steambird specials <- special articles that I will tend to particularly write if there was an INCREDIBLY packed day. Which, I haven't done in a while, but I've got one or two in that section that were pretty good. Consider giving them a read!

the steambird <- your regular weekly updates, brought to you by the steambird mods!

steambird updates <- should the blog undergo any major changes or something like that, it'll be under this tag.

charlotte's loveliest dearest informants <- normal anons sliding into my ask box to deliver info.. I love you all!

charlotte answers <- Charlotte answering any post in character. Though, she won't be answering on any issues.

question for the writer <- Charlotte answers any asks.

exclusive interviews ! <- though relatively unhumorous and mostly crack, (when I feel like it,) Charlotte will interview figures from the article to include! (separate posts)

steambird polls! <- Polls on feedback needed for the Steambird :)

charlotte reblogs! <- mod reblogs things mod thinks deserve attention- whether it's important announcements to be wary of or just pretty art.

the old pinned post

Once again, you can find all my issues(+interview(s)) HERE!

also my DMs are broken if you would like to contact me you can either dm @charnverite or my discord, livingcouch.

[charlotte-official]

[charlotte-official]

THE STEAMBIRD - 10/17 to 11/7

Note from Charlotte!

Ah!!! Hiya everybody! I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry I’m late. Waaay too late, in fact! It’s been three whole weeks!! I’m so sorry for procrastinating even though this was supposed to be out last week!! There just wasn’t a lot of material for me to work with-

(and irl stuff got in the way, oops)

-and so I ended up just writing these small blurbs instead.

I swear that next week I’ll get back on track to writing the regular issues!! But for now, I’m going to count this as a Steambird ‘special…’

Again I’m super sorry!!

The Duke of Meropide, Wriothesley, reluctantly allowed Charlotte to pay a visit to the Fortress of Meropide to interview a certain Fatui Harbinger (Tartaglia) on the pot brownie scandal. All thanks to the Head Nurse of the Fortress, Sigewinne. Regrettably enough, the Harbinger was not even present at the Fortress, so the interview was thus cancelled.

Clone of Harbinger, Dottore, (clone in question is Webttore), complains about alleged “loudness' ' coming from Il Dottore and another fellow harbinger, Pantalone- the Regrator and 9th Fatui Harbinger. Which yes, indeed implies that the two were being intimate if you catch my drift. 

Sandrone, 7th Fatui Harbinger, backs up the claim and Dottore retorts back saying that Sandrone was loud during the night with Arlecchino, founder of the House of the Hearth and 4th Fatui Harbinger, as well.

Does this mean Fatui Harbingers are essentially hooking up with each other?

Maybe.

It depends if Webttore, Dottore, and Sandrone are reliable sources.

Light of Ksharewar’s anon- scary, in particular- was exposed to have a bad sleep schedule despite consistently reprimanding Kaveh for having a bad sleep schedule himself. Kaveh was upset since this was naturally a display of hypocrisy, and Kaveh, alongside his other anon, ᓚᘏᗢ (cat) anon- now more commonly known as “adi cat anon”- chided scary anon. 

Scary anon then attempted to flee and hide in Diluc Ragvindr- owner of the Dawn Winery-’s blog, but upon learning about what had happened- via cat anon- also chided the anon, who then left again to try and hide out in the Duke of Meropide’s blog!

Rinse and repeat because cat anon followed after scary anon and informed the Duke, who told them not to hide in general. Thus ending the blog hopping scandal.

Later, scary and Kaveh squabble about sleeping habits (after Kaveh shrugs off the incident, saying it was really all in good fun), and cat anon tells them to BOTH fix their sleeping habits, Kaveh gains two more anons, yellow heart anon- the second parent- and wine anon- the menace. Kaveh also tries to send wine anon to the Fortress of Meropide.

Diluc and UTA are still not beating the allegations.

Pantalone offers a 500k bounty of mora for whoever helps solve his rat infestation(literally all of the rats in question are just Dottore’s clones) regarding his office. When a young girl solves the issue, the bounty ends up being worth triple the original amount.

Webtorre tries to sell a.. Really weird looking skull. 3 rats in a trench coat are down to buy it. ..and also 3 rats in a trench coat tries to give Collei the plague

The Regrator gets robbed. With a lack of a solution or person to blame, naturally everyone just begins to blame each other frantically.

Kaveh confesses to actually being three fungi in a trench coat.

Head Nurse of the Fortress of Meropide, Sigewinne, pastes stickers all over the Fortress of Meropide. Especially in the Duke of Meropide’s office.

Kaeya makes it down Dragonspine safely, or has he? No. No he hasn’t. He lost his vision on the mountain, so now, while Diluc is now taking his brother to the Dawn Winery, Lisa is trying to gather a team to go back up the mountain to look for it.

(Ignoring the Dragonspine RP canon and following Albedo and Diona going to Sumeru.)

Albedo wakes up from a nightmare, and Diona tries to comfort the alchemist.

Dottore(Prime) releases a poll on the crowd’s favorite Dottore. Ask-Dottore ended up winning, but the close second was UTA. Most notably, Madame Faruzan’s bias was UTA, while Diluc said none were likable altogether.

[charlotte-official]

9/19 Recap

Boob Shenanigans: Continued

With all the rage, the poll was finally finished after a grueling 24 hours. And the final results, quite unexpectedly, Former Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham won by a landslide

Alhaitham won with the grand total of 60% of all the votes in comparison to:

Blue Oni, Takuya’s mildly pitiful score of 4%.

And Arataki Itto, Leader of the Arataki Gang, who scored a mediocre 36%.

With the finality of the poll, the discussion comes to an end. Or does it?

No just kidding, following the official closing of the poll, no genshin-official accounts have mentioned it. (according to my sources.)

Fatui Hater and Fatui Harbinger Segment Fight Ferociously to Defend their Honor and Deny Marriage Claims!

 In response to September 18th’s article, Uta, the prior mentioned Fatui Harbinger segment was enraged with the assumption that he and Diluc Ragvindr, Owner of the Dawn Winery and crucial key player in Mondstadt’s Wine economy were flirting.

Quote: “NEWS LADY. I AND @diluc-official NEED TO HAVE A CHAT WITH YOU. WHY. DO YOU THINK WE'RE FLIRTING?? WE DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER. ESPECIALLY NOT IN SUCH A WAY. SO THEN WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE FLIRTING OR SOME NONSENSE LIKE THAT?? WE'RE ENEMIES.”

It didn’t end there though, in a chain of messages being delivered to the Steambird’s ask box, UTA frantically rushed to try and protect his dignity and refute the claims of being like an old married couple.

Quote 2: “... We WEREN'T flirting! I do not flirt with him! I don't like him so why would I flirt!! …”

Charlotte, Editor of the Steambird and runner of steambird tumblr then called him oblivious and told him that it was quite obviously flirting.

Quote 3: “It is not flirting!! We are not flirting! I am trying to annoy him damn it!! I am not that oblivious!! I'm pretty sure I can tell if it was flirting or not, and it very much was not! I do not like him enough to be flirty. I don't think he'd be pleased with that either. How is it even flirty?? I sincerely doubt it is!”

Editor Charlotte then told UTA that his remarks were quite suggestive and he was saying these things at evening, a relatively romantic time.

Quote 4: “Okay, it might have been suggestive. I can understand that part. But I doubt suggestive can count for flirting! And i chose that time because it seemed to annoy him!! Why else would I bring that up to an enemy? Because it probably threw him off guard! You wouldn't actually talk about kinks to someone who actively hates you! It is to annoy the hell out of the emo. I am NOT INTERESTED in him like that!!”

End quotes

Diluc Ragvindr, the other man in the situation, also had some.. Things to say.

In a flurry of messages delivered to the Steambird’s ask box, Editor Charlotte decided to not respond or feature these messages in the article because of how.. Vulgar and aggressive they were.

Young Shuumatshuban Ninja gets Stuck in Tree because of Evil Shrine Maiden

A Bitter Faruzan, elder in Haravatat, and Hat Guy of Vahumana then squabble afterward

Young Sayu, a ninja of the Shuumatshuban, finds herself stuck in a tree, hiding from a “wicked shrine maiden”- Kano Nana. 

Arataki Itto offers to catch the young girl, but she’s still intimidated.

Especially because Arataki Itto is how she describes, “A bumbling moron. But a pretty nice moron”

Faruzan, an elder in the Darshan of Haravatat, offers to help, offering to make a wind current so Sayu can fall safely. 

In thanks, Sayu quips that Hat Guy revoked certain piggyback privileges** and asks Faruzan why she and Hat Guy argue so often.

**Piggyback privileges, reference to a day or two ago when Vahumana’s Hat Guy told Sayu he’d be willing to carry someone on his back should it be necessary, but after Sayu told Arataki Itto that Hat Guy complimented his boobs, Hat Guy got a tad bit upset and decided to revoke his statement on being willing to carry someone on his back.

Which was dubbed “piggyback privileges”

Faruzan replies that it’s because Hat Guy(Whom she has dubbed “Hat Bastard”) is a “bitch”.

This ends in a small squabble between Faruzan and Hat Guy, despite it being very short lived compared to past vicious bouts between the two.

Reminder of the Day!

Today, Albedo, Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favonius seems to have been out of his game.

Tired, overworked, etc

So today’s reminder is for everyone to get enough sleep and take a break if you’ve been working very hard lately!! 

This applies for EVERYONE. (Genshin-official or not.)

Small tidbits!

Kaedehara Kazuha gets high on Naku Weed.. Again. 

Kaveh, Famous Architect, denies claims from Shikanoin Heizou. Again.

Missed Details from yesterday!!

Dottore’s clones release a petition to shut down the Akademiya.

It seems to be backfiring hideously. Especially with a lack of roughly 498 signatures.

That wasn’t worded with malice! Do not misinterpret that as hostility please! (- charlotte)

Fontanian Ghost who died over a century ago comes to mock Kaedehara Kazuha about killing his ancestor. 

Kaedehara Kazuha sobers up from his Naku Weed high and snaps back to reality to talk back. 

In the craze, another ghost joins the fray- Nameless Bard. and he SWEEPS the competition and knocks out Fontainian Ghost Guy, Escher.

Who, in which, is famous for being in the Mondstadt Revolution, but also for his sick comebacks.

This even caught the attention and amusement of Focalors/Furina, the Hydro Archon.

[charlotte-official]

THE STEAMBIRD || 11/8/23 - 11/18/23

Xiangling goes to Fontaine. She comes back, but she comes back with deep fried Romaritime Flowers. Xinyan eats one. Probably dies. She then tries to get Yanfei to eat one. Yanfei is hesitant.

STORIES UNDER CUT !

REVERED WANMIN CHEF - DEEP FRIED FONTAINIAN MENU?

Xiangling Mao, the daughter in the father-daughter duo of cooks for the Wanmin Restaurant. 

Miss Mao, upon returning from a trip to Fontaine, returned with new ingredients, and was ready to experiment with new flavors!

The young chef, upon returning to her homeland of Liyue, went back to the kitchen and immediately deep fried the ingredients she had at hand. Being a bushel of Romaritime Flowers.

Xiangling, upon finishing her most recent masterpiece, rock and roll star, Xinyan, while passing by, offers to try the new dish. Xinyan pops it into her mouth whole, and her face begins to turn a bright red, with steam pouring out of her ears.

Yanfei, popular Liyuean legal advisor, having been watching the whole ordeal, gapes at Xiangling, asking if their friend is okay. Xiangling simply shrugs it off with a smile, saying that Xinyan is naturally fine since Miss Mao only used a few shakes of Jueyun Chili spice rather than a full bottle.

Yanfei then hesitantly picks up a deep fried flower and considers eating it.

Xinyan, with garbled speech (assuming she may have burnt her tongue eating the deep fried Romaritime Flower), encourages Yanfei to eat it. This only further discourages the legal advisor from eating the deep fried flower.

Outrider Amber, a member of the Knights of Favonius in Mondstadt, perhaps by coincidentally being in Liyue, pops in. Seeing the threatening figure of the deep fried Romaritime Flower, plainly tells Yanfei not to eat it. Yanfei, however, is beginning to be tempted by perhaps the crispy texture and savory aroma wafting from the deep fried flower.

The outrider, not exactly phased, simply shrugs and tells the legal advisor it’s her choice. Xiangling presses Yanfei, looking her deep in the eyes, saying she knows that Yanfei wants to eat it.

Munch it.

Crunch it.

Consume it.

Savor it.

Swallow it.

Yanfei has second thoughts again soon after. She desperately wants to eat the Romaritime Flower, but upon seeing the raggled figure of her friend, Xinyan, sprawled out on the floor, practically burnt, she is concerned for what would happen if she ate it.

Xinyan emerges, speaking up that she’s fine. Xiangling, with a serious look in her eyes, nods at Yanfei, saying she knew Xinyan was strong.

The Mondstadtian Outrider looks at Xiangling, perhaps a tad bit concerned for how Yanfei will fare after eating the deep fried flower. Amber concernedly peers at the trio, saying that perhaps maybe the rock and roll star will be able to endure, but how about the legal advisor?

Xiangling looks the golden eyed outrider, a serious look in the chef’s own wide amber eyes. With a sincere expression on the chef’s face, she uttered one statement, gripping the outrider’s shoulders.

“Granny aint raise no weak bitches. Yanfei can handle it”

The granny in question, being Streetward Rambler, or more commonly known as Madame Ping.

Madame Ping, perhaps also coincidentally passing by Wanmin Restaurant, encourages Xiangling, telling Yanfei to not only eat the deep fried flower, but to also do a backflip eating it.

Yanfei is intimidated. Very intimidated. Under pressure, she blurts out that she admittedly does not know how to do a backflip.

Amber tells the legal advisor to perhaps ask Xiangling to teach her, but Yanfei backs away, saying that Xiangling is even scarier of a teacher than Xingqiu.

BONUS: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CHEF MAO HERE

Sayu tries to figure out the secret to being tall. Various peoples offer their input. 

SHUUMATSHUBAN NINJA TRIES TO UNCOVER THE SECRET TO BEING TALL?

Young Shuumatshuban Ninja- Sayu- longs for one thing. 

Height. 

The young ninja, at a loss for how to grow taller, resorted to a final method. Releasing a poll on her blog.

Luckily for the Shuumatshuban member, people all across Teyvat answered the call.

Madame Faruzan, elder for the Akedemiya Darshan of Haravatat, had.. quite the input. She simply and blatantly told the young ninja that there is no way to advance in height besides nature's course. If it were the opposite, Faruzan admits that she would make herself grow taller to spit on “Hat Bastard”(Hat Guy of the Darshan of Vahumana,) from above.

Hat Guy scoffs, saying that Faruzan definitely thinks about him 24/7. Madame Faruzan is appalled. Upset. Frustrated. Mad. Angry.

Sayu thinks the two are flirting.

Takuya, newest member of the Arataki Gang, tries to genuinely give- how the boss of the Arataki Gang(Arataki “Numero Uno” Itto) has dubbed her- the “tanuki” tips. Sayu says she will take them into account.

Doctor Baizhu, of the Bubu Pharmacy, gives tips to Sayu also,telling her to visit the Pharmacy’s resident zombie- Qiqi- a visit. To play together, of course. 

An odd bard by the name of Venti, quite notably an Anemo vision wielder, tells the girl that he, Venti, lets the wind decide his height. Naturally she is confused, calling him a “poetic bastard.” 

Perhaps she learned this style of language from Madame Faruzan?

The alleged twin of the bard says it’s in the genetics. Odd. Hm! Perhaps this is another situation like Il Dottore and his segments? Maybe a secret prototype? Oh well! Stay tuned to the Steambird to find out!

Webttore blew up a microwave trying to microwave milk.

PEEK INTO HARBINGER LIFE - FATUI MICROWAVE FLARE-UP

The Fatui, despite occasionally being written up as an evil organization, does itself have its own silly shenanigans. 

One of this week’s shenanigans being how one of the Dottore segments/clones blows up a microwave.

Because of course it was the Dottore segment! Truly the ambassadors of chaos.

Webttore, one of the segments in question, was the culprit. He had been trying to microwave milk. Which was reasonable on its own. Except the segment ended up microwaving the milk for approximately 420 seconds. 

7 MINUTES.

Half of the milk evaporates.

The Fatui then get a new microwave. But Webttore then destroys it again

headlines:

Xiangling makes chocolates for Xiao to give to Lumine, but xiao does not trust them. In the end they were really just normal chocolates.

Harbinger Capitano confesses to being in love with Cryo Archon.

Charlotte meets a 19 feet long humanoid sea creature.

Tighnari adopts a desert fox of his own, much like how Kaveh has THREE foxes.

blogs explicitly mentioned:

@ask-outrider-amber

@sayu-official

@xiangling-official

@webttore-official

@fennec-tighnari-official

@krovium

@cryoqueenoflove

@doctor-baizhu-official

@venti-official (not as obvious but also @namelessbard-official)

@faruzan-official

@conquerer-of-demons

@the-wanderer-official

@yanfei-official

@xinyan-official

@streetward-rambler-official

@kaveh-official

@takuya-offcial