#steve’s internalised homophobia: don’t love that tbh

[ickypuppi3]

Speaking of nasty Steve... him believing "men don't cry" and the first time Billy cries around him he doesn't respond all too well?

um yes ??!!

“jesus.” billy sniffs. glares at him. “you’re such a fucking asshole.”

“yeah.” steve looks at him. watches a tear fall. can feel the words on the tip of his tongue. can’t do anything to stop them. his mouth curls up into a sneer. “and you’re such a fucking girl sometimes, billy.”

and billy just. freezes. his eyes snap down. avoiding steve’s.

“get out.”

steve feels his own chest pull tight.

“c’mon bill. we were having fun before all this-” steve holds a hand up to gesture. he watches billy’s shoulders tense with the movement.

“get the fuck out, harrington.” billy tries to sound threatening. it fails when his voice wobbles on steve’s name.

and steve. well steve doesn’t need this right now. doesn’t need to sit around babysitting his fucking… he doesn’t know. hell, they’re not even friends.

steve doesn’t need this right now.

just because steve said something. just because billy can’t take a fucking joke.

whatever.

“yeah, yeah.” steve looks at billy one last time. doesn’t know why the sight of him pointedly staring down leaves sour taste in steve’s mouth. “i’m going.”

he slams the car door behind him. hears a small noise as he does. he doesn’t look back.

billy will be fine.

steve walks fast. feels the cold air stings his face. feels his lungs burn with it. he tries to clear his head.

billy will be fine.

because billy’s a man.

fuck.

steve stops for a moment. leans back against a wall. thinks about the last hour. wonders how the day went so fucking sideways.

he feels his own eyes burn. slams a fist into the wall.

men. don’t. cry.

“fuck you, billy hargrove.”

[ao3feed-stevebucky]

The House of Ill Repute

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2CHQjBh

by nightmaresinwintah

No one knows his face. No one knows that it's him, blond hair, blue eyes, tall, strong build, that's killing these people. No one knows it's him that chooses a random town on a map and drives there, spends the day wandering around and leaves in the afternoon, blood on his hands and another death under his belt. No one knows.

Except this man.

  This man who sits quivering at the foot of the bed. This man who had seen Steve slip a knife into the back of another man's neck, severing the spinal cord neatly in the bathroom of a mall. This man who had seen Steve place the dead man on a toilet and shut the door. This man who had met Steve's eyes in the mirror, face already pale, mouth wide open in shock.

  This man.

Or, the one where I churn out a self-indulgent Serial Killer!Steve, Kidnapped!Bucky fic and post it in the hopes that someone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Words: , Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel, Captain America (Movies)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: okay guys, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, (not between Steve and Bucky), Murder, Murder Kink, Kidnapping, Gun Violence, Blood and Violence, Threats of Violence, There are many knives, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, These two definitely don't have their heads screwed on but it's okay bc we love them, use of chloroform, Power Play, threats of murder, Serial Killers, Serial Killer Steve Rogers, Listen I take everything that Steve is and what he stands for and I twist that shit into...this, Internal Conflict, mostly about whether or not to kill someone who doesn't deserve it, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, not between steve and bucky, The murders are lightly detailed, Non-Consensual Drug Use, non-consensual restraints, Vomiting, Nausea, Knife Wounds, Cigarettes, Steve smokes like a man possessed after a kill okay?, Internal Monologue, (like a LOT of internal monologue), Fear, Direct Action, Public murder, Car Sex, Hand Jobs, References to Addiction, But the addiction is murder, Mind Games, Feelings of Helplessness, Bucky generally feels angry and scared for the first half of this, Enemies to Lovers, Kidnapee to Lover, Kidnapper to Lover, motel sex, Motel Murder, Murder Husbands, death kink, whoops, Rage, Deeply internalised feelings of general hate, Denial of Feelings, defiant Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Top Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Bucky Barnes, Modern Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes needs a therapist, so does steve tbh, Justifying Murder by some interesting means, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Gay Bucky Barnes, insane, Politics, Steve Rogers does bad things, but it's all okay in the end, Attempted Murder, Concussions, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, however brief and dismissed i thought i should mention it, Yelling, Feelings Realization, planned murder, there's a lot of murder okay? don't look at me, Pet Names, Danger Kink, there's gun kink if you squint, Semi-Public Sex, Public Display of Affection, thigh fucking, Biting, man-handling, Dirty Talk, Sweet Talk, Aftercare, Praise Kink, this was so totally self-indulgent, it was supposed to be a drabble, Don't Judge Me, excuse me while i murder on main, listen this is mostly bc i was mad at some homophobic asshole spitting insults at my gf and i, and then there was an /inspiration/

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2CHQjBh