#stop annoying me you damned things
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STOP. I've already blocked 3 of those bots and I just woke up a few hours ago. I'm so close to typing out profanities here due to them.
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I hate my job, man. I’ve told my boss so many times “can we please switch everyone over to printed forms instead of handwriting” and she waves me off saying she’ll talk to them about it. She never has.
no one listens.
What does this say? mulan? mulah? mulaw?
Nope, it’s mularo.
ok. Now the patients results have been delayed cause we couldn’t read the damn name.
guess what, we couldn’t read the insurance ID either so it’s delayed even more.
I requested that they clarify the name and insurance ID. They only sent the name. They’re closed on Fridays.
You have delayed the results a whole 4 days, congrats.
Then they complain to us that the results are delayed. Amazing.
I wonder why.
#it just. pisses me off so much that I have to call this stupid office multiple times a week#because they refuse to write things properly#and have the same person writing everything#JUST FUCKING PRINT IT OUT OR SCAN THE INSURANCE CARD#stop getting annoyed that we have to call you and fix the damn problem that you caused :|#and then they spam call us daily asking if the results are ready#I genuinely don’t know how these small clinics stay open when they don’t even check if the patients insurance is active beforehand#actually the most annoying part#is that when I call the front desk acts suspicious as if it hasn’t been me. the same person. calling multiple times a week.#from the same number which you could look up and find our office.#so the point is- the front desk will never give me any information. even if I’m just asking to clarify a date of birth or somethin simple#I have to wait till the nurse is available#to answer my damn question#it’s 9 am it’s too early for this.#edit: why are ppl reblogging this#nuh uh
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yagami, WHY do you have to be such a bitch around kuwana. i'm going to strangle you.
(P.S.: he didn't tell kuwana that tesso said not to feel bad about it. obviously.)
#kuwagami#judge eyes#nah the best thing here is that yagami fucking KNOWS already that kuwana is not a piece of shit#he can admit to other people that yeah kuwana really cares about people. he knows that kuwana probably feels bad AND he is correct about it#and when he. when he fucking. SEES him. he starts being a bitch. amazing.#yagami stop being a little hater challenge FAILED!!!#damn you know we all see that kuwana annoys yagami out of spite and while it CAN be true under some circumstances>#(like. trying to weasle his way into yagami's investigation. you know. and the flirting. obviously.)#but as i see it yagami is no better. his default state is being a bitch so of course he is bitchy to kuwana as well#but he can't switch it off and just. acts so immature that kuwana has no other option than to do the same#guess who's having more common sense out of these two actually. the answer may shock you#anyway if you're interested why my fics are being written so slow it's because i'm picking apart canon events to see if i missed something#uhm I GUESS!#this one i've thought about for a while but it's now relevant for the update so i came back here and just. just had to post it you know.#also yeah i kinda dug my own grave with picking yagami's disguise here because i haven't stopped laughing until he took it off#“no kuwana of course i made sure rk wouldn't know it's me i had THE BEST disguise even my friends wouldn't know it's me”#though who's kuwana to judge. he just changed his jacket and went eehhh good enough#these two idiots deserve each other. fucking hate them#putting letters together one word at a time
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i really regret dropping out of school
#everyday forever#and a lot of other things as well#i feel like i have such a disproportionate amount of regret in my bones for being only 18 years old#maybe ime being dramatic about some of them#and there is no use in dwelling on any of them#But still. Damn. Lights cigar#liike fuuuuuuuuck#as a kid before i ever even stopped going to school#id be annoyed at adults that were like ooohhh you gotta stay in school yo u gotta#but yeah. yea#i m still a little annoyed at ppl that like harass me about college. bc thats a bit different.#but high school.. dont drop out ever u will be done with it eventually i promise just dont drop out#sometimes ppl that are in hs but just a year or two younger than me hear that i dropped out#and are like i wish i could do that.or i wish my parents would let me do that No you dont no you dont you dont#PLEAse stay in school. For me.
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Lol totally not planning my post-semester attention grab isolation to make my friends have to Intentionally reach out and show they care and want me around and also to show that I don't need them and would be fine without them
#time is a circle and so are my friendship issues#like damn. im annoying and too rude and talk too much and too loud and all that shit? crazy. lets see if you care if i didappear then#idk. im just pissed.#the biggest thing lately has been like. they have Decided that im just an asshole and ive tried explaining that im usually not trying to be#i just cant control my tone that well and their response has been Well maybe u should control your tone better.#ftr these friends are all also autistic...#and i was complaining to them about an admin being an asshole to me over smth small and they were like well u were probably sounding rude#then the same admin pulled the same shit on them and they were so pissed#like can i not be afforded the tiniest benefit of the doubt. can you maybe for one fucking second stop asserting that im a total dick and#just listen. or care. just something. they always assume shit like that is my fault and then when i get pissed abt it its further evidence#that im an asshole in their eyes. like no!!! i just have to be pissed because its fucking clear nobodys going to be pissed on my behalf#anyway.#npd#actually npd#actually narcissistic#vent tw
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you know what I've written today? NOTHING
and I still have to get up and go do my least favorite chore: groceries
#every week i need more food#and every week i am CRUSHED when i realize i have to get more food MYSELF#also feels weird to have not written but also this is probably my longest 'writing almost every day' streak ever so#it can't be the worst thing in the world if i have a day off from it#i'd be less annoyed by it if i'd actually DONE SOMETHING today but i dicked around tbh#scrolled through tumblr reread my own fic like a narcissist (you can't stop me either) and read a couple klance fics#oh! i did dishes and laundry tho#so there's my win for all day#now i'm gonna go get those damn groceries so i can try writing again
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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miscellaneous digital barry sketches
every time i draw this man i just make him more and more beefy. like. i've given him such a strong chin and big features i think my barry simpery has reached a boiling point heeheehaahaa
also the eyelashes!! they make him more babygirl!!
i headcanon that he's bi and this would be his reaction to seeing the most beautiful people ever in front of his very eyes.... he literally goes awooga heart bursting out of chest jaw drop and completely forgets everything he's doing for a solid 5 minutes
quick little side angle of barry :) i like giving him a bit of an underbite cause he looks more,,, attractive i guess? slightly goofy? but i think i need to make his hair a liiiittle less slicked back maybe....
me when barry.... ignore the singular line down his face i forgot to erase it oups
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#damn i just realised how closely i drew his eyes together in one of them.... i gotta stop doin that!!#i don't notice it until AFTER i'm finished drawing and that's the most annoying thing#anyway...... big men#i love giving him extra beard scruff#gotta have that scruffy little face#i saw the barry anatomical drawing that includes the beard scruff as a part of him and just went crazy#what would it feel like if you pet it. like would it be rough or kinda soft#i think it'd be rough but like if he washed his face it'd be softer#also i like how on that specific promo art they point out his ''BIG HAND'' and it's pointing at like his forearm#glad to know his hands are huge and also in the complete wrong spot#he needs to be scruffy.... he NEEDS TO BE SCRUFFY.........#me up at late hours of the night going insane from man scruff#i wanna draw barry being held in craig's arms like laying down dramatically and saying ''save me big nerd..... big nerd save me''#i like how these sketches are all just several disembodied barry heads making various funny expressions#they're my guardian angels
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i like. refuse to entertain any thoughts that maybe i just didnt come out right or theres something fundamentally wrong w me cause i don’t want to get caught in a self pitying mindset but i do wonder . what exactly makes me always end up in Predicaments with people why do i feel like the more honest i am and the clearer my intentions the worse they get across
#p#i am so desperately fighting this feeling of otherness i will NOT shut myself out#but god fucking damn it sometimes people make me feel so bad for apparently being so unable to resonate with them#i’ll make a very clear straightforward statement and they’ll be like By that you clearly mean this:#like no i don’t actually. what i mean is exactly what i said?#this constant social expectation to read between the lines of everything and then getting in trouble for taking things at face value#and the thing i say to be taken at face value always get misconstrued bcs ppl read between lines that don’t exist#i just feel slapped in the face after genuine efforts i’ve made to stop being an annoying bitch and picking everything apart to get to its#deeper meaning. now i’m suddenly made to feel like either a shit person or socially incapable#all cause ? i refuse to read other peoples minds and don’t expect them to read mine?#and me demanding the same honesty back is unfair also hence me being a shit person/socially incapable#thes things make my head hurt . should everyone elses values and priorities be respected except for mine. which is in my onion a very#reasonable adjustment for clear communication..?#Should i kill myself. yes or no
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My mom's pissed at me Because I told her to stop stressing me out with more issues when I'm on the verge of a breakdown already and now she's upset at me.
#shes behaving like a child#getting upset because i told her to stop harassing me with more issues and things to worry about when my health is bad and im really#stressed out as it is.#i don't ever dictate what she should do. ever. and yet every other day it's#haleema you need to do this snd that#im stressed out please please for 5 minutes JUST stop#she's so used to the idea of me agreeing with her letting her say whatever she wants#that shes annoyed at me for disagreeing with her one time.#be a damn adult you're the parent not to me
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Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that
#persona#shinjiro aragaki#hes the only one i really respect here#its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much#just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover#and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing#its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man#and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal#but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way#its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try#seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk#and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like#if he can make it then why cant i#and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn#but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless#its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional#character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me#i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩#anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it
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Really annoyed at the terminology midsized rn. Like. Sure it can be helpful for some people (namely women) who have been made fun of for being fat but aren’t fat fat. But that’s the problem with this terminology in the first place. In giving a name to this body size that focuses on clothing size rather than actual bodies themselves we also further distance these bodies from fatness, which only works to stigmatize fatness even more than it already is. It just reinforces the idea that fat = bad and something that only “real” fat people are, when in reality all bodies have fat and many of these “midsize” bodies are what people have called fat in the past but now have been recontextualized in the era of heightened self awareness of the “average size body” as “normal” but the people using the term were made to feel inferior bc of the fat on their bodies and now simultaneously embrace the “normalness” of their bodies while also distance themselves from the fatness AND distinguish their bodies as “different.” We literally need to destigmatize the word fat NOW bc ppl are literally just inventing new ways to be unconsciously fatphobic. fat is not a binary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#again it is helpful for some people. but ultimately those people need to unlearn their internalized fatphobia surrounding the word fat!#there isnt rlly such a thing as “fat enough.” like yes people who are fatter face more social stigma and ostricization#for not being conventionally beautiful or thin or even “acceptable” fat. but also being afraid of being fat is also fatphobia.#like get out of here with this ohhh youre not fat ur just midsized bs. no!!! you can acknowledge that you have more privlege than#someone who is fatter than you but also that you are not skinny and do in fact have visible fat. is that so hard! stop being so afraid!#which is easier said than done believe me i KNOW but also work on yourself. god damn.#you can rb if you want but im really just spitballing here. and annoyed as hell LOL#roxy talks
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Being ghosted fucking kills me.
I know I'm nothing special. I know I'm a world away from you. I know I'm not worth your time.
But being reminded that I've been replaced? In a good mate's life?
Like, just fucking stab me in the heart, that would hurt less than all this bullshit.
#rejection sensitivity is turned on fucking max#i really need to stop bothering people#im annoying & a waste of dpace#only interested in dumb trite things#like nok dude theres a reason you have only two friends irl#just kill me god damn
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.
#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#i need life to give me a fucking break fr like?????#almost immediately after i finally crawled out of a major depressive episode#infected fucking dog bite from some asshole’s unleashed dog#major tooth abscess that literally has my entire left side of my face and head and neck throbbing with pain#can’t afford to get the damn thing pulled until a few more days#so my body is fighting 2 major infections rn and my heart rate is at a constant 100-115#can’t think straight can’t focus on anything#couldn’t walk priya today bc of how shitty i feel#had an EXTREMELY stressful anxiety ridden day with my client today which didn’t help anything#my work days have been so fucking long that i don’t have time to take care of my medical stuff before everything closes#i had to race to get my antibiotics WHILE i was working bc i knew i wouldn’t get there in time after work#bc my fucking client kept adding shit for me to do last minute#then was like ‘oh btw you only have an hour to make these 10 fucking stops bc my appt is soon’#give me a fucking break liKE COME THE FUCK ON#IM SO MAD AND ANNOYED#i didn’t even walk the dogs this morning#i just too them to a secluded place off the trail and fucking cried for an hour#i really hate things rn like i really hate how difficult and fucking expensive it is to stay alive#i fucking HATE IT#delete later#i guess idfk whatever
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most of the fandom debates about who is responsible for what in Star Wars would be solved if folks remembered that the characters are not real and their choices were made by real life people with on-screen time constraints and deadlines
#which is not to say there isn’t a value in asking questions and engaging with characters in the text; far from it#but every time there is an argument that is like ‘well why didn’t yoda spend 30 minutes explaining therapy to anakin’#I’m just like. because it’s a movie. because that’s not how a screenplay works. because George is not a good writer.#an attempt was made. not a good one. but an attempt.#like we don’t have to like yoda’s response but I can confidently tell you there is no world in which the narrative momentum stopped and yoda#leads anakin through a CBT session. y’all.#fandom wank.#i’m aware this is Nothing but this one specific thing is annoying to me sometimes lmfaooo sorry#walkie talkie.#don’t even get me started on the arguments that the Jedi suck for letting palpatine be alone with anakin lmfaooo THEIR WORLD IS NOT OURS#WHERE EVERY DAY IS ANOTHER DAMN DISCOVERY of politicians doing freak shit. in character we know if they had any reason to believe palps was#Like That they would not let anyone near him#also. ALSO. using comics to justify shit that happens in the movies can sometiems work on a character level but we gotta be aware that we ha#have different writers with different points of view who are working RETROACTIVELY to make things fit and fill out undefined timelines#idk where I’m going with this but. tldr. I don’t know what we gain by going in circles about the same topic in an unuseful way#no shade to my mutuals btw. I’m just. I don’t get it.
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Can Twitter finally just fucking implode I am so sick of hearing about that stupid ass website
#I also just fucking hate it and want it to die anyways#I’ve always hated it due to the insane influence it got in the publishing industry that makes it damn near impossible for some ppl to get#published or involved in the industry at all#like if you’re not on Twitter 24/7 or don’t have the right Twitter connections you literally cannot land a publishing deal el oh el#it was also the shift of so many writers having to do MOST of the marketing for their books rather than the publishing houses#which was ridiculous#like I dunno I literally don’t have the time/energy/socialization or networking skills to try and land an agent via the right fucking tweet#and I think it’s fucking stupid that that was a thing that started happening at all#ppl shouldn’t be pitching fucking books on TWITTER writers shouldn’t have to be public figures on Twitter for the sake of marketing#so I hate that stupid app and want it to fucking die so that new part of the industry goes down with it#like that is actually the main reason for my indescribable rage for Twitter#I hope it dies. and I hope I can stop reading shit about Elon musk for like two fucking minutes#also y’all sound fucking stupid with your ‘Elon is actually THIS dumb’ shit#because like yeah obviously he’s an idiot don’t get me wrong#but he’s not accidentally running Twitter into the ground just because he’s stupid#he’s deliberately trying to kill it because he never wanted to buy in the first place and wants it to become a write off#like yeah he’s still goddamn dumb but he’s NOT doing all this to try and make Twitter profitable el oh el#anyways. I’ll be quiet now y’all are just being annoying about this#kaz rambles
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