𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐤 𝐄𝐯𝐢𝐥
summary: Leon Kennedy was sent to the Sakamaki mansion under the orders of Tougo Sakamaki. However, the intel he’d received proved to be shocking.
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A/N: This is set in an alternate universe where the T-Virus/Zombie outbreak in Racoon City did happen, but it was quickly stopped and contained. This Leon is basically Resident-Evil-2-Remake Leon. This is honestly just brainrot and me mashing my current two hyperfixations together :3
Booted footsteps rung muted on the velvet entryway. From the details given by his operating agent, Leon was assigned to stay at a well-known Japanese politician’s mansion. The walls had an antique feel to them and the interior felt oddly gothic.
Leon put down his heavy luggage and tactical backpack on one of the sofas in what looks to be the living room. He went over to the fireplace and sure enough, the wood was freshly charred - Someone was currently in the mansion.
The rain raged on. Its droplets hit the windows like they were tiny pellets of rubber. All that protected him was a black leather jacket and prayers that it’d stop raining soon.
He scanned the room looking for anything useful. Was he supposed to wait? Was it rude to go and investigate? Man, he didn’t have to think about the little details back in Racoon City. All he had to do was point and shoo-
“Are you the man that my father sent?” Leon turned around to see a black-haired gentleman with glasses. The gentleman's perfect posture looked like it’d hurt if he tried to recreate it.
Leon scratched his head, “Father-?”
“My apologies, I meant Tougo Sakamaki, the politician. Did he send you?” The glasses guy stressed the word ‘the’. His rubied eyes scanned Leon up and down, raising an eyebrow at the special agent’s rain-damp hair.
“Oh, yeah. I was told that I’m supposed to stay here.” Leon patted his pockets, taking out his covert, international agent ID card reserved for verifications. Hunnigan, his operating agent, told him to keep it at all times, just in case the Japanese authorities needed to see something official.
The man took the card with his gloved hand and carefully inspected it. He looked at the card, then at Leon, then back at the card.
“Hm, this will suffice. I am Reiji Sakamaki, the second son of the Sakamaki family,” Reiji sat down on one of the chairs and gestured for Leon to follow after him. “My father informed me that there’ll be someone special arriving today. That is all the details I know. It said that you were a government agent. May I ask why they’ve sent you? We don’t usually have someone of your occupation in our home.”
He plopped down softly and sat a comfortable distance from Reiji, “My operations person told me that your father assigned me to be here. I thought he’d be home to give me orders.”
“Hmm… Interesting.” Reiji pursed his lips and stayed silent for a bit. “Unfortunately he’s hardly home due to his schedule. Anyhows, it’d be best if we your things sorted so I’ll show you to your roo-“
“Oi Reiji! Where the fuck did you put my basketball?!” Leon hadn't noticed that there was a second floor near him until he saw the staircase leading up. There he saw a certain red-head with a distinct scowl on his face.
By accident, they both locked eyes and suddenly, the red-head stepped back, away from Leon’s view.
“Uh… That's your roomie or something?” Leon politely asked Reiji, who was pinching his nose.
“Brother, actually.”
“Oh? You guys don’t look alike.”
“You don’t say,” Reiji regained his composure like nothing ever happened with the red-head. “Our father is always away, leaving us a family of six. The one you saw just now was Ayato. We all have different mothers. Ayato is part of the triplets, who are hard to miss, and Subaru is a single child.”
Leon counted on his fingers: three fingers for triplets, Subaru is one finger, Reiji occupies one finger… That only totals up to five people-?
“Is there someone else you didn’t mention-?” Leon held his fingers up, displaying five people.
“-Me. He didn’t include me.” Leon was caught off guard by a blonde who sat directly next to him. He propped his loafers up on the sofa’s sides and his pale arms were spread out like he didn’t have a care in the worl-
…Wait.
Leon didn’t recall another person sitting next to him the entire time he was talking to Reiji.
…
…
“I would’ve included you, but what’s the point in mentioning a good-for-nothing son? You don’t add value nor do you add anything profound to this family, so it’d be a waste to use a mere gram of air to utter your name.” Reiji scoffed and rolled at the messy blonde.
The blonde’s eyes were closed. His eyelids didn’t open a peek at Reiji’s comment. “Heh, value? Profound bullshit? Are you saying Laito adds those things to this family then?”
“Don’t twist my words, Shu.” Reiji said with a gritted jaw.
“And Kanato, does he add anything ‘profound’ to this family?”
“Talkative today, are w-“
Loud, slow claps caught your attention to a fedora guy. It also stopped the bickering between Reiji and this ‘Shu’ guy. The fedora guy’s eyes were quite feline-like and a smirk spanned his face from cheek to cheek.
“Tsk, tsk, look at you two! Fighting like cats and dogs in front of a guest… Where’s the hospitable atmosphere? You two chased it away~” A sing-song tune came from him. Something in Leon’s gut churned. This fedora guy had a strange aura about him.
“Guest? We have a guest?” A short purple-haired boy popped out of nowhere and brought his face dangerously close to Leon’s. “Why is this one male?”
“Uhh… Ask my mom and my chromosomes.” Leon scratched his head in an effort to give him some sort of answer.
A sharp voice came from a corner, “Why’s everything so noisy today?” A sharp-eyed angry-looking guy walked in and stared fedora guy down.
“Oh my, even the loner emerged~!”
The angry-looking guy took an 8-ball out of nowhere and threw it at fedora guy. “Shut your mouth, Laito!”
‘Laito’ narrowly dodged it, then proceeded to stick his tongue out and giggled. “Ooo, feisty as always!”
“Enough!” Reiji raised his voice, making everyone in the room look at him. All except the blonde guy. “Where’s Ayato? He’s the only person missing.”
“Just yell out ‘tits’ and he’ll come running.” The white-haired guy sat on a seat that was close to blondie. Leon made eye contact with him. It didn’t last long.
On the other hand, though he wasn’t looking at him, the purple-haired guy was staring holes into him. It’d burn his skin if the guy’s gaze was made out of lasers.
“-Who said tits?” The red-head made his second appearance and looked at everyone confused. The fedora guy bursted out laughing and it even made blondie smile a little.
Reiji rolled his eyes and scoffed at the red-head. He interlocked his fingers and locked eyes with Leon. “Now then, let’s all be acquainted with our newest guest.”
Introductions were very brief. At least Leon didn’t have to mentally refer to everyone by hair color now. Though, something had been bothering him for a while. When Ayato arrived, he swore he couldn’t hear his footsteps. The same goes for Kanato too. He just popped up out of nowhere and behind him.
And Shu…
Three people without footsteps.
‘Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern,’ he thought to himself. Something felt very off with the mansion. He was never this mentally perked in any new location.
Unless, of course, it was a dangerous one.
He made a mental note to tell Hunnigan later.
“Do any of you know my purpose here? I don’t wanna intrude on you all without a good reason.” Leon could feel their stares penetrating his skin. It felt predatory. Their eyes could slice tension clean and cut.
“Maybe you’re our new plaything.” Laito rested his head on Leon’s shoulders, not breaking eye contact with the agent. “Father told you to stay, isn’t that enough of an order?”
Were people outside of Racoon City always this touchy? Hunnigan didn't mention it, so Leon had no idea. If he pushed Laito off, then it might make things more awkward than they already are.
“The order’s way too comfy for someone like me.”
Laito pouted, “Do you like danger then? Chasing, running, trying to survive with nothing more but the barest of hope?”
“Danger is what you expect when you have a job like mine. You don’t really have a choice but to endure and keep going.”
“Fufu… We all like the sound of that, don’t we, dearest brothers?” Laito gave everyone in the room a very vague look; one that Leon couldn’t decipher. It sounded bizarrely sinister, but the true question is: was it?
“Laito…” Reiji spoke up and his tone sounded like it had a warning attached to it. “Dinner will be served soon. In the meantime, make yourself at home and sort out your luggage. Our butler will escort you to your room.”
Leon heard muffled chinks coming from the corner of his eye. Turning around, he saw a middle-aged man carrying his backpack whilst his arms looped around his roughened luggage bag. Leon patted his legs, which doubled as a way to check for any items he’d forgotten, when he got up.
After giving a brief thank-you, he and the butler were off. Their footsteps dissolved into the muted floors of the mansion and the rain had started to calm down.
“He doesn’t know, does he?” Subaru stopped hiding behind his fringe and looked at Reiji.
“None the wiser. When I got the letter from father, I thought we’d be expecting a new sacrificial bride.”
It was clear that none of them knew what was going on, all except Reiji. Ayato clicked his tongue and sat next to Laito, “Heeeh? Doesn’t that guy already know that any human who steps in here might as well be a sacrifice offering? Why did he send someone from the government or has he bonked his head broken?”
“The agent said that he’s on father’s payroll, orders and all. Looks like father found a new game for us to play.” Shu tilted his head in a comfier position. The Eldest’s tired voice came out like buzzy static. Laito hummed with an amused glee and looked in the direction of where Leon and the butler went. Kanato followed his gaze, before looking back to Teddy’s hypnotic gaze.
: ̗̀➛
After the butler put his things on the ground, Leon whipped his head back to say his things, but the older man mysteriously vanished out of view. There was something wrong with this place. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but what didn’t help was the weird disappearing acts everyone kept pulling. It just didn’t make sense that he couldn’t hear their footsteps.
For years at the academy, Leon sighs at the amount of times he was yelled at for being too loud with his footsteps during training.
Yet these guys could do it easy-peasy?
Leon felt something buzzing in his front pocket. A bright notification popped up in his burner phone. “Condor One, do you read me?” It was his support operative, Hunnigan.
“Mhm. What happened?’ Leon texted back.
He sat on the bed and waited for a reply. The text bubbles kept going on and on, like an infinite loop. In the meantime, Leon patted his pants and checked if his combat knife was still in its hidden holster.
Finally, there was a ding.
“We’ve received intel. Apparently, some older folks saw various girls come into that manor. They all ranged in appearances, but most of them were within highschool range.”
“Noted. And? Where’s the ‘and then, something ___ to them’ part?”
“Quick to catch on. Here’s the part where it gets weird: these older folks saw them enter,” Leon read the next part. He had to blink two times to make sure the screen glare wasn’t playing tricks on him.
“-but they never saw the girls leave.”
And so, the night began.
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I cooked some shuffle units
Murder mystery
Okay, this one is the one that prompted all this. Please this would be the fucking funniest thing ever (I think I already did this exact lineup somewhere)
Just. Consider Shu's beef against Eichi, then you got Eichi's beef against tomoya. All the while there's whatever himeru and tattsun got going on. Also meru's detective thingy
Steampunk
I just want mayoi on a big ass ship again serving cunt. Also mayoi and nii-chan interactions. Rei is there because of course he is (we ignore that they were both in la mort). Everybody in this shuffle at some point has to clown on sena because it's morally correct to clown on izumi sena
Fairytale
Very obviously not inspired by dragons flying over a nowhere forest by ao3 user 21397942794 (lie) (you should read it btw it's really good it has a dragon and midoyuzu)
Also naru is a princess and midoyuzu shenanigans. Also yuzuara. And sora going "I know what you are" to Midori. Nagisa is there because I need to further my "Midori having weird but wholesome friendships with everyone in Eden" agenda. But also the bridal march tour gave me brainworms for yuzuru and nagi friendship
Circus themed
It's actually just me making an excuse to put torikasa in a unit. And jun going "haha mini ohii-san" to Tori. Torikasa being insufferable to each other that Kanata looks at them and then plays clown music because they're fucking idiots (affectionate). Mika just vibes. Also momo and sumomo returns
Megane
That's it. That's the whole shuffle unit. Just the guys with glasses. And chiaki. He gets a new glasses card. This fanservice for the megane fans (me, I am the megane fans)
Also one of them loses their glasses at one point and they have to stumble around to look for it like Velma does (it's either keito or mugi)
Futuristic
Madaleo.
They also probably use the VR thing again. And the closest thing we'll ever get to DF comeback. Mao and yuta are there because I think it's funny if they got to witness the insane chaos in the front row while kohaku's like "first time?"
Vibing at the zoo
Peachy and Thunder returns and is featured in a card that's higher than 3✩. Please HappyEle bring back the frogs....
Also wawa's birds are here, and Leon. Subaru would be here, but that would mean 3/4(?) of ANIMALS are in this unit. And I need hiiro vibing with kuro. Maybe a sparring session between them
Beach day
BEACH DAY!! Kaoru teaches mitsuru to surf and Niki grills food on the beach. Everyone is having fun. Subaru and mitsuru race with daikichi on the beach. Life is good
Obligatory someone gets hit by a volleyball in the head (it's kaoru)
Survival-esque horror
Halloween I think? Think zombie apocalypse and these are the main characters tying to survive
And also because literally any interaction with rinne is fucking funny as hell. Also remember in the main story when the bees were causing trouble? Yeah. The whole fiasco with tricking Akatsuki, kicking koga off the stage, the ryuseitai being called fake heroes incident (and rinne and niki running off on a motorcycle only for Kanata and chiaki to catch up with them and tie them up to bring them back to es). Yeah. Rinne gotta deal with that. Interesting things. And rinne gets to make fun of aira about hiiro's marriage proposal in matrix
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