#sugawara smiling

[crystal-crax]

Spend more time that i would've liked on this

I think there's a pattern but i can't see it (of course i don't have a tendency to sacrifice my well-being for the convenience of others, as if i would dare have an inferiority complex that i desperately hide behind a high ego in need of approval, of course i don't want to be held and told that i'm enough)

A lot of pink and blue tho

[alienaiver]

Birthday keychains

Sugawara Koushi x gn!reader

made for @cup-of-fluff​ ‘s birthday!

warnings: there’s mentions of a birthday being held alone but otherwise super fluff for my fluff-queen! wordcount: 1.7k content: fluff, post-timeskip, sfw, birthday present to a friend!, gender neutral reader, canon compliant, reader is also a teacher but the subjects are undefined, confessions, unbeta’d, no use of y/n, comfort, sugawara thinks hes smooth in theory but suddenly halts when he needs to put it into practice,

notes: i am LATE! LATE LATE LATE like the rabbit in alice! it was my precious friend, luna’s birthday around 10 days ago but sadly my brain wasn’t working those days, so i hope youll still accept this even if im late!!!! ilsym, i hope you still had a good day even if the plans weren’t big <3 i was thinking of you the entire day!!!

Sugawara stretches his arms over his head and yawns, grateful that he was able to end his class a little early. Mondays can be rough for anyone and he can definitely feel the jitters from his students rub off on him during the last stretch of the afternoon, too. So when the opportunity rose, he took it.

He likes to treat them sometimes, too.

So now he’s on his way back to the teacher’s lounge to grab a cup of coffee and work through the final part of this year’s curriculum – there’s some gaps he has to fill in from another teacher retiring, making him impromptu take over some classes. Usually, he’s more prepared than this.

 He nears class 2-A that he knows you’re currently teaching and as he passes, he hears ruckus and scattered cheering before the sliding door flings open.

On her way out, a student named Sakura looks back into the classroom and yells out, “oh, and Happy Birthday again!” before she runs out into the hallway, followed by her classmates.

Birthday? Who?

“Thank you, Sakura!” he hears your voice yell out from the room and he can’t stop himself from popping his head into the doorframe to make sure he heard right. You’re by the teacher’s desk, gathering up papers, small talking with the students still fizzling it out in waves.

“My, my, is it my favorite teacher’s birthday?” Sugawara leans against the frame and try to send you what he hopes is a charming smile and the way you perk up gives him hope.

You laugh at him sheepishly as you put the stack of papers against your chest, seemingly trying to gather yourself, your cheeks burning. You don’t look him in the eyes as you near him. He thinks you’re adorable.

“…Yeah,” you admit, passing him into the hallway but you stop to signal that you want him to follow you. His lips feel wobbly as he happily pushes himself off of the doorframe to follow you down the hall.

There are many things that he loves about being a teacher but he has to admit that one of his favorite parts is the interactions he gets to have with you. Your smile brightens any day, no matter how grey and the habit that the two of you have worked out with the morning coffee in the teacher’s lounge is the best part of his day.

“So… Why was I not aware that today’s your birthday?” he asks as he matches your pace, keeping an eye to dodge the unruly students running around the hallways. He’s supposed to scold them for running, the back of his mind reminds him, but he’s too focused on you. It’s an interesting thing, to keep a birthday hidden. Says a lot about a person.

You seem to straighten your back, “oh!”

You then sigh and relax again, “I’m not sure. Just didn’t think it was that important to mention.”

Sugawara inwardly winces – he’s afraid he hasn’t been clear enough about his intentions of getting closer to you. Whether or not you’d ever return his feelings romantically (he might be going too far with his wistful thinking he reprimands himself), he’s still very much interested in a friendship. Maybe he hasn’t been clear enough?

“What!” he exclaims, surprise so evident on his face that you stop in your tracks, your eyes locked to his expression. He then says your name with fervor and subconsciously reaches out for your hands but stops himself in the last second.

“I would’ve gotten you a present!” he confesses, pouting before he turns his back and starts walking. He hopes you follow. It’s been a while since he’s used flirting tactics that he used to teach Sawamura. He feels silly and he wipes the palms of his hands on his pantleg, hoping you don’t take notice.

“No, you really shouldn’t!” your voice sounds strained as you follow him. He slides open the door to the teacher’s lounge and signals for you to enter first. When you’re in, he hurries ahead of you to grab you a cup of coffee, bowing slightly as he hands it to you. You chuckle at his antics, shaking your head in affectionate confusion, “what is this, Sugawara?”

He smiles warmly at you, “you deserve royal treatment on a day as today!”

 You sit down by your desks next to each other and Sugawara sorts through a bunch of papers to look important. He clears his throat and tries to sound as nonchalant as possible, “so, are there any exciting birthday plans today?”

You hum out a reply that he can’t discern, not looking up from your papers either. He leans his head on his palm and looks towards you, “I bet you’ll be treated to tons of fun, right?”

You stop what you’re doing and sigh, collecting yourself before you confess, “actually… nothing special’s going to happen this year. I’ll probably treat myself to my favorite dish at the Family Mart and watch my favorite show at home, feet on the coffee table.”

You wince at the way Sugawara’s hand falls to his desk in surprise. You knew he’d react like this, he’s a good guy. But bringing up your birthday felt intimate and you weren’t sure how close you were. Maybe he’d think you were attention seeking or fishing for presents if you mentioned it – what if he only saw you as a work acquaintance?

He inhales sharply before he turns his head back down to his desk again, continuing his mock-work. “What’s your favorite at Family Mart then?”

You pause at the question. That was unexpected. You tell him with an unsure voice, ending it in a question mark. He hums and smiles at you, “I’ve never tried that one. Can I join?”

“Eh?”

It’s all you get out before he laughs warmly at you, the bright smile blinding you as he once again leans on his palm (which really is a charming position for him), “it sounds like the perfect start of the week!”

You nod, processing what he just asked. Before you can come up with a yes or no, you mentally walk through the state of your apartment. Is it messy? Have you left anything out in the open?

You’re safe, you conclude. So you nod again, “I mean… if you don’t have anything else to do?”

He laughs again, “nothing as important as this!”

  You reach the Family Mart with your palms sweating, the distance between your hands so close that your heart is currently stuck in your throat. He’s so close. It’s close enough so that if you just swung your hand slightly, you’d touch him.

And then you could hold onto it.

You shake your head at the thought to collect yourself. After picking up the drinks you want and the meals, you go to the counter.

“Would you like me to heat it up?” the cashier asks and you politely decline, looking for your wallet.

“Would you like a bag?”

You nod and she starts collecting your items in the bag for you. You announce you want to pay with card but Sugawara puts a final item on the counter and announces, “I’m paying with cash for it all.”

It’s a keychain. It’s not fancy or big. It’s a little black crow in chibi-style. You’re frozen in confusion staring at the small item, following it as the cashier puts it in the bag as well.

You’re not back in your own body before Sugawara gently pushes you by your back to signal you to move, and he guides you out the store, bag in hand.

When you get out you stop in your tracks, “ah! Did you get the receipt? I’ll pay half!”

Sugawara shakes his head with a smile as he goes through the content of the bag, exclaiming a small sound of victory when he finds what he needs. He pulls out the keychain and hands it to you, his cheeks burning red.

“I swear I would’ve gotten you something way better if I’d been prepared. I’ll even make it up to you with a delayed present at another time! but I thought you might… like this… one as a small substitute.”

He laughs awkwardly when you neither reply nor move. Did he mess up? “You don’t have to… accept it, if you don’t like it…”

That makes your brain restart as you inhale, “please! Don’t think I don’t like it! I’m just…” you struggle to search for words but decide to just hold out your palms, “I really, really love it… and that’s two really’s!” he seems to visibly relax as he puts the small item in your palm, flinching at the contact with your hand – he wants to grab onto it so badly, “I think I’m just… overwhelmed, I must admit.”

Sugawara sighs deeply, “phew, I’m so glad I didn’t weird you out!” he admits and you hurry to shake your head, “no! No… you could never! I just wasn’t sure of… how the closeness of our relationship.”

Sugawara’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. He’s not sure if he should tell you now – it feels like the perfect time but what if he’s reading it wrong? He straightens his back and steels his resolve.

Without thinking, he bows. He grimaces as he looks at the ground – that move wasn’t part of his confession plans he’s made up in his head the past few months.

“I actually really, really like you! With two really’s!”

He’s afraid to straighten his back and look you in the eye. There are so many emotions going through him right now, fear being the most prevalent one.

 You clench the keychain in your hands, the meaning of it soaring through the sky even higher than when he first gave it to you. You smile as you say his name with a wobbly tilt to your tone, “I like you, too.”

Sugawara wants to pump his arms into the air in victory but he settles on just looking up at you with stars shining in his eyes, “really!? That’s amazing!” he leans forward to hug you and you yelp out in surprise. You don’t hold back from taking in his scent though – it fits the one you’ve been imagining for so long.

“Happy birthday, again.” He whispers into your head and you laugh into his chest, “this might be the best one yet.”

[fish-with-more-eyes]

mr. refreshing (ft. tiny yaku)

[seneon]

my 05 senior who came to school to collect his finals results is so cute rn omg ain't no way... i got an admiring crush on him fr

[chiaroescuro]

Literally crying over the fact that Sugawara Koushi 'exist'. Suga is a phylantropist, he is so in love with everyone, he is the best of us. This guy has the smile of life, he is so kind, it is as if evil was extint long before Suga was born. He is everything that I wanna be, everything that I wanna know, I love him.

[deathc-re]

oh, how he just wants to make a pretty little house wife of you. leave you with absolute freedom and autonomy over your time.

you want to go shopping? here's his card.

you want to join a yoga/ pilates/ kickboxing class? let's register you together!

you want to renovate the kitchen? my buddy knows a guy.

he wants to come home and smell the amazing cooking you have for him. or on lazy days, plop on the couch with you and eat take out.

he wants to smile at his phone while at work because you sent him a selfie of you eating breakfast at noon, or taking the dog for a walk, or with shopping backs in the trunk or with the people you're volunteering with or whatever it is your heart desires.

he wants to see you on the porch, barefoot and pregnant, rubbing your belly and waving to him as he pulls up in the driveway.

he wants to hear you ramble on about the new book you read and hated/loved. or help you brainstorm ideas for your passion project.

he wants to brag about you to all his work buddies and bring you to all the corporate dinners and stroke his own ego while you bashfully tell his coworkers that you "don't have a job, my husband takes care of everything."

NANAMIN, BAKUGO, KIRISHIMA, FATGUM, IZUKU, aizawa, yuuta, armin, iida, iwazumi, sugawara + whoever else you want!

[sunarc]

Boys who fuck you slow and sensual when you’re sleepy. He’ll lay you on your side while his chest presses against your back. His cock fills you up so much all you can do is lay there mumbling barely audible thank yous.

“That’s it baby” his voice is sultry in your ear.

His breath fans across your skin as he pants, overcome with pleasure. He presses wet kisses to your skin while his hands leave no part of you untouched.

“You don’t have to do anything but lay here and cum on my cock angel”

His filthy words contrast the soft nickname he loves calling you. His hand comes down to your leg lifting it just a bit to allow himself to stroke deeper. He can feel the way you squeeze around his cock. You’re close, he tell from the way your breathing becomes shaky or how you can’t help but grind down onto him in an attempt to meet his thrust.

“Come on baby, make me proud” his own voice almost fails him from how good you feel. “Make a mess for me Angel, you can do it.”

He almost feels bad now. He knows he should be taking it slow on you but the way your hand grips his hip pulling him into you has him feeling feral. His head dips into your neck sucking harshly at the skin.

“I’m sorry baby” he grunts

His cock plunges into your dripping hole at a rough pace.

“Your pussy is just too good”

He pulls the loudest moans from you and smiles at the sounds. He makes a mental note to record next time so he can remember how pretty you sound creaming on his cock.

“Take this cock for me, I know you can do it”

His words go straight to your core. You’re almost sure you’re going to have to change the sheets when he’s done with you. His hand smooths over to your core rubbing circles on the small bundle of nerves.

“mmm so good for me aren’t you, it’s okay you can cum” His cock is relentlessly pounding into you.

“And say my name when you do Angel, I love when you do that”

Kuroo, Bokuto, Osamu, Hinata, Sugawara, Atsumu, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Gojo, Choso

🏷️: let me know if any of you would like to be added to my tag list for other works

[semifilms]

doing that silly little lipstick tiktok trend to the song “k.” by cigarettes after sex with them. when you pan the camera to him wiping away your smudged lipstick and he’s just staring at you with so much adoration and a little smile on his lips—face covered in kiss marks. which causes you to smile hard at the sight. once the audio cuts off and the video stops you turn to him, “see that was fun wasn’t it?” and he’s completely zoned or now just staring at your lips—his slightly parted. you know exactly what he wants now and you wouldn’t hesitate to lean in to lock your lips with his. once you pull out of the kiss he’s cheesing and is all, “if there’s ever anymore trends like that don’t even ask me, i’ll do it no questions asked.”

ATSUMU, SEMI, OIKAWA, IWAIZUMI, kuroo, BOKUTO, konoha, ARAN, SUNA, hinata, SUGAWARA, daichi, TANAKA, NOYA, kyotani, TERUSHIMA, aone, tendo,

reference video

©semifilms do not copy, repost or translate my works

reblogs appreciated!

[makkir0ll]

"hmm, is it green apple?"

you giggle in his arms, shaking your head no and smile as he leans down to press another kiss on your lips.

the past fifteen minutes had been spent trapped under his arms while he kisses your plump, flavourful, lips. it started out when you put on some chapstick and he asks for some. you knew that this was his way of getting a kiss, but when his lips press against yours the flavor is different than your normal vanilla, its fruitier. "what flavor is that?" he asks, pulling you closer to him to plant another kiss on your lips, "berry?"

"no" you say smiling as you await his actions. hoping that he does exactly what you expect him too.

and he falls into your trap. the next fifteen minutes are spent with his lips on yours as he guesses what flavor it could be. strawberry? mango? pineapple?

all no.

at this point all he could taste was his own spit on your lips. completely kissed away all the chapstick that coated your lips. he breaks the last kiss with a whine.

"y/n put some more on, i can't taste it anymore." he loosens his grip on your body as you shift underneath him to find the chapstick in your pocket.

"close your eyes, i dont want you to see the label." you tell him and he obliges, squeezing his eyes shut in a childish manner as you apply the chapstick on your lips.

once you're done you toss the tube away, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him down, he's smiling. his lips press against yours yet again but this time it's different. the kiss is deeper, he cups your face and his toungue swipes on your lips and you open your mouth slightly to let the wet muscle enter. it takes your breath away and you start to feel dizzy from his touch and all the sensations happening around you. he pulls away, a thin string of saliva connected the two of you. your eyes are still closed, processing what happened when you hear him say,

"it's berry isnt it?"

you nod your head no, hoping he will kiss you like that again, and he does. but little do you know that he caught a glimpse of the berry graphic on the label when you pulled out the chapstick from your pocket.

HINATA SHOYO. (probably doesn't notice the label though tbh). BOKUTO, hanamaki, oikawa fucking tooru, sugawara (he knew from the start it was berry but goes along with the act to amuse you), akaashi (same as sugawara). NISHINOYA. (same as shoyo, genuinely continues to guess), ATSUMU. KITA FUCKING SHINSUKE (he knew from the first kiss, but realized that this made you happy). KUROO. SUNAAAAA.

[svnarin]

⊹˚₊‧ calling your bf as husband for the first time

a/n! saw this trend on tiktok and some of the reactions were so damn cute that i can't help and think how will the hq boys react to their s/o calling them husband sobs

he didn’t hear it the first time but immediately paused on what he was doing to turn and look your way the second time you said it. husband, you say? he can’t help but visibly smirk as he pulls up his phone to chat with his friend/s or maybe tweet or note something such as “guess who just got called by their pretty partner as husband today.”

SUNA RINTAROU, kuroo tetsurou, kozume kenma, kunimi akira, MIYA ATSUMU, miya osamu, tsukishima kei, MATSUKAWA ISSEI

he was confused at first and thought he just might have misheard you. you can visibly see the blush on his face even when he tries to hide it away after you repeated your words again, now emphasizing the word husband more. he kept quiet as he tried to collect himself, still trying to process what you just called him. when he finally did, he immediately asked you, “can you please repeat what you just said and call me husband again?”

AKAASHI KEIJI, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, kageyama tobio, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, kuroo tetsurou, sakusa kiyoomi, semi eita, ushijima wakatoshi, kita shinsuke, ARAN OJIRO

he immediately started kicking his feet and smiling ear to ear as he called you wifey/hubby with much emphasis. he even sat up from his seat to kiss you and hug you before lovingly asking you to repeat your words and call him husband again. it will take him so much time before moving on from what you just called him, maybe even not moving on at all and making the word husband your new word of endearment for him. 

HINATA SHOYO, sugawara koushi, BOKUTO KOUTAROU, oikawa tooru, MIYA ATSUMU, tendou satori

𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

[atsumwah]

butterflies

featuring : iwazumi hajime, miya atsumu, suna rintaro , matsukawa issei, hinata shoyo & sugawara koushi

notes : just things he does that gives you butterflies

when iwaizumi lies down on the couch, he likes to pull you with him and make you settle on top of him. he loves feeling your body against his and just being your pillow in general literally does not care how much you weigh or if you're afraid of being heavy. if you try to wiggle out, he'll cup your ass and make you stay.

atsumu has a tendency to trail kisses down your neck when you're doing something. he especially likes doing it when you're at the stove cooking. something about how he cages you with his arms and slowly kisses down your neck makes your knees turn to jelly <3

matsukawa likes to hold you by the hip. if you're out in public, his hand slowly trails down from your waist to your hip and holds you close no matter where you are. you constantly find his hands drifting even lower and by then you have to shoot him a glare to make sure he behaves.

suna does that thing where he leans down closer to you when you talk. it doesn't matter if you're sitting down next to him or lying back on top of him, he will move his face closer to yours and look you in the eyes while you're talking. he knows it flusters you so when he does it, he has this cheeky smile on his face

i fully believe hinata likes to lift you up just for funsies. like you could be doing the dishes and he needs to grab something from the cupboard above you so he'll lift you up to gently put you to the side. or when you're too lazy to get up and shower, mans will literally carry you on his shoulders like a baby. or when you're in the pool, he easily slips his hands on your hips to bring you up his shoulders. you weigh nothing to him bro

suga likes to tilt your head up when he wants your attention. like not in a demanding way but more like a look at me and only me kind of way. he has this smirk on his face when tilts your head up with his pointer finger, face inching closer to yours as he grabs your attention. literal definition of looks like an angel but an absolute teaseeeeee

[verslxt]

riding his abs

the praisers

as he guides your hips up and down his abs he smiles and kisses your neck "your doing amazing pretty girl". he said pressing his lips to your jaw line as you moved up and down his glistening abs. so close to your climax that you couldn't hide it anymore. "a-ahhh~ m'close" you managed out as you rode out your high on his abs now practically shining in the morning sunlight from your slick and your cum "amazing job pretty girl" he said kissing the top of your head

sugawara koshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, hinita shoyo, daichi sumawara, kenma kozume, ashai azumane, yuu nishinoya, tanaka, kita shinsuke, tadashi yamaguchi lev habia and your favs ♡

the degraders

he lands a harsh harsh smack on your ass as you ride his abs making you yelp and jump "getting off on my abs? such a fucking slut" he degrades you as you continue riding his abs. he grabs some of your ass where his large ass handprint is and gives it a small squeeze. he smiles up at you pulling your wife beater down to reveal your tits. as he latched onto one of your tits you were so close you could almost taste it "m-hm~ m s'close" you moaned out as you came on his abs riding out your high "there we go filthy slut, get off using my abs"

suna rintaro, oikawa tooru, osamu miya, atsumu miya, sakusa kiyoomi, hajime iwaizumi, kageyama tobio, aran ojiro, kei tsukishima, kuroo tetsuro, daishou suguru, and your favs ♡

[piichuu]

♡ SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AFTER AN ARGUMENT

FEATURING: sugawara koushi, kageyama tobio, ushijima wakatoshi

WARNINGS: hurt/comfort (ish), fluff, gn!reader

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

“let’s not fight anymore, the couch must be uncomfortable for you to sleep on,” your boyfriend speaks as his hand is gently put on your shoulder. he has been sitting on the floor, right by the couch for a couple of minutes now, but this is the first time he speaks up. you should’ve known that he wouldn’t let you go to sleep in such an uncomfortable place, especially not after a fight. “we don’t have to talk about it right now, i just want you to come to bed so you’ll have a good nights sleep. if you don’t want to cuddle, we don’t have to, just don’t sleep out here.”

sugawara begins to brush his fingers through your tangled hair and sighs, waiting for you to reply or move. it takes a little bit, but you eventually begin to sit up, now looking down at the man who is still sitting on the floor, wearing the pajamas he put on hours ago. “there you are. come on, let’s head to bed,” he reaches his hand out for you to take which you do, allowing him to lead you into the bedroom where the two of you lie down without you saying a word to one another.

he watches as you get under the covers and once again turn your back to him, so he strokes your arm gently. “i’m sorry for earlier, sweetheart. it’s been a long week for the both of us and we aren’t in our right minds. just know that i’m not mad at you for anything, it may have seemed like it earlier, but i promise you that it was stress that has been built up by my co-workers, not you,” sugawara explains as he eventually moves his hand away from you so you’ll get the space you need.

as you don’t say anything, he closes his eyes and attempts to fall asleep. the two of you usually never go to sleep without solving a fight, but he won’t force you to try and talk to him either, knowing that it might just cause the frustration to grow. so he tries his best, hoping he’ll wake up in the morning and be able to talk to you, but he can’t sleep like this, not knowing whether you’re mad at him or not. those thoughts are however put to sleep as you finally wrap your arms around his middle and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. “i’m sorry, i don’t want to fight.”

a slight smile spreads over his lips and he presses a gentle kiss to your temple. “we’re good, baby. let’s just go to sleep together now. i love you.”

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

he sighs when he finds you already sleeping on the couch, not having spoken to him since he went to take a shower in hopes to rid of all the frustration and stress that’s been taking over for the last couple of days. volleyball practices have become more as him and his team are about to go into a tournament in just two days, so the stress has truly gotten to him, but also to you. he’s aware of the fact that you’re stressed about not being able to come with him for his upcoming games due to school work, so you try to spend as much time with him as possible, but it’s difficult when he’s barely home.

kageyama wants to be with you more than anything in the entire world, but the time often flies away when he’s practicing and the time for you decreases into only a few hours at night when you’re already asleep. when you wake up in the morning, he’s either making a quick breakfast for himself and gives you a kiss goodbye before leaving or he’s already left without a word. he’s never able to wake up beside you nor come home when you aren’t asleep.

today he was tired after hours of practicing and even though he had been looking forward to seeing you as he would finally get home a little earlier, he didn’t expect himself to be met by you with tears in your eyes as you begged for him to stay home the next day so the two of you could spend time together before he had to leave. it wasn’t possible, not now when it’s only a few days left until the tournament, his coach would kill him.

so here he is, standing by the couch, contemplating every single life choice he’s made. what did he even do to deserve someone who keeps trying when he is barely ever there? how come you stay when you never get to talk to him? he certainly doesn’t know, but something he does know is of his love for you. “i’m sorry,” he whispers while laying down behind you on the couch. his arms wrap around your waist as he buries his face into your neck. “i’m gonna come up with something to spend time with you before i leave, i swear. i love you so much, so so much. i wish i could be a with you all the time…”

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

he sits on the edge of the couch, leaning back against the cushions while looking at you who’s already sleeping. you would be in bed if it wasn’t for him and his stubbornness. ushijima injured his arm during his last practice and had been told by doctors not to work out for at least a month, but how did you find him when you got home from work? carrying weights back to their place as if he had just been training. how could you not scold him when he was risking his own arm getting even worse?

at first, he wasn’t agreeing to anything you said as he kept on saying that it wasn’t a big deal and that “it doesn’t even hurt anymore”. but as you only became more furious about the fact that he wouldn’t listen and then went to sleep on the couch instead of in bed with him, he slowly but surely began to understand that he was in fact making his arm worse. you had the right to be worried, but ushijima had no right being so stubborn.

“i’m really sorry for not listening to you,” your boyfriend mumbles as he searches for your hand to hold, giving it a gentle squeeze. “i won’t work out again until the doctors tell me that it’s okay, i promise. it was stupid of me to not listen to either them or you,” he sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, drowning in his own stupidity until he can hear you stir.

“you always make me worry about you so much, you’re so stupid,” you mumble while sitting up, wrapping your arms around his neck. “next time i find you like that, i might actually commit a crime,” usuijima chuckles lightly and shakes his head. “i won’t do it again, i swear. i will listen to your worries from here on out.”

he eventually climbs onto the couch and wraps his arms around your waist. “i hope your arm doesn’t hurt too much now,” you mumble, stroking his hair. ushijima shakes his head and flashes you a soft smile. “it doesn’t, thankfully. thank you for looking out for me, darling.”

TAG LIST: @libbyistired @h4nman @thisbicc @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @awkwardaardvarkforever @chilichopsticks @nosh1tsherl0ck @r0ckst4rjk

if you want to join the tag list, fill out this form <333

[itadoring]

he is the type of boyfriend / husband that when you are angry with him, and you don't give him attention and therefore ignore him, he starts singing love songs trying to win you back again.

“ Baby~ please, sorry I promise I won't do it again! Never again!” he tells you as he follows you around the house, with his lower lip trusted out and his eyebrows furrowed slightly, forming a pout and the expression of a lost puppy.

You tell him nothing and ignore him after he hands you a box placed on a high shelf that you could not reach.

“ Baby~” he whines but it is ineffective on you.

You turn to him as the soundtrack of I love you baby reverberates from the TV and he looks at you with a proud grin.

1 minute and 20 seconds: he grabs your hands and you can't even hold back a smile, and it's in vain to curve the tips of your mouth downwards as he leads you behind his impromptu dance moves.

“ I love you baby and if it's quire all right.” he spins you around, later returning his hand to the small of your back and the other clutching yours tightly as if you could run away.

“ I need you baby to warm your lonely night.” he continues to sing in the meantime brushing the tip of his nose against your pink cheek.

“ I love you baby trust me when I say...” he gives you kisses light as feathers on your face and brings your bodies closer together.

“ I'm sorry.” he says to you while giving you repeated pecks on your lips.

GOJO SATORU, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yuji, Toji Fushiguro, VINSMOKE SANJI, Portogas D. Ace, BOKUTO KOUTARO, Keiji Akaashi, Tetsurou Kuroo, TOORU OIKAWA, Tobio Kageyama, HINATA SHOYO, Daichi Sawamura, SUGAWARA KOSHI, JEAN KIRSTEIN, Armin Arlert

[teamatsumu]

kinktober 2023 -> day 30

overstimulation - sugawara koushi x reader

word count: 662

warnings: smut, swearing, nsfw, dom!suga

kinktober masterlist

Sugawara Koushi could be cruel.

Your friends would be appalled by this statement. So would anyone who had met him even once. Koushi? Cruel? What a ridiculous thing to say. Koushi was kind and nurturing. He was a great mentor, and helpful senpai, a loyal friend. He didn’t have a single cruel bone in his body.

Oh, the misconceptions people have.

“Come on, baby.” He cooed, voice like honey in your ear, sounding as soothing as he always did. But it didn’t settle you at all. It couldn’t. Not with how tightly wound up you were. Not when your muscles were fatigued and stretched taut, every limb constricting and twisting until it almost hurt. You let out a broken sob, shaking your head with any ounce of strength you still had in you.

“Can’t.” You heaved out. “Can’t, Koushi. Can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He encouraged, breath hitting the shell of your ear. “Which one will this be? Fifth? Sixth? Come on, sweetie. You’ve done more before. Don’t disappoint me.”

And you weeped, because it was true, you didn’t want to disappoint him. Despite the tingles that ran over your swollen, angry cunt, and despite how it burned when Koushi’s cock slid over your walls, you wanted to cum for him. You wanted to see the way his pupils dilated and how his pink tongue slid over his bottom lip when he watched you fall apart on him. While he loved watching you cum, you loved how he looked at you while you came.

You felt numb from the waist down, like the very soul had been sapped out of you. Koushi moved in deep, languid strokes that ended with him digging into the spongy little spot inside you. Stars burst in your vision with every brush of his cock on it, and despite how far you had been pushed, little tendrils of pleasure still zipped up your stomach at the feeling. Koushi’s fingers, skilled and meticulous, ran over your clit in ghostly touches, and even that little brush of them had you jerking and twitching. You felt empty, spent, and your boyfriend still showed no signs of stopping. He had been saying ‘one more’ for the last two hours, and here you were, cumming on him over and over until you were dizzy and blood was roaring in your ears.

You gasped when Koushi sped up, dread running through you. Speeding up meant he was ready to see you cum again, but you were sure you couldn’t give him more. You couldn’t. You felt like there was nothing left to give.

“Koushi. Please.” You didn’t know what you were begging him for. To stop, and finally let your body rest? Or to keep going, unable to yet give up on the buzzing happening under your skin?

He hummed to let you know he had heard, giving you a soft smile entirely contradictory to his cruel behavior. His hair fell to the side, windswept and effortlessly gorgeous. His eyes were warm brown as always, staring at you kindly like he wasn’t buried balls deep in you. His thumb and forefinger pinched your clit, making you yelp, before he immediately started rubbing on it hard.

“Fuck-” There was no stopping it, your breath completely ceasing in your lungs as your back arched impossibly high, another mind-numbing orgasm shaking through your very bones. Your teary eyes never left Koushi’s warm ones, watching as he bit his lower lip, gaze running hungrily over your sweaty, trembling body.

You gasped and nearly choked your way through it, going limp and hugging Koushi’s waist with your weak legs. He placed a soft kiss on your temple, running a hand up your side to ground you, whispering sweet praises into your skin and stilling inside you to give you a little reprieve. His lips brushed your ear, laying a tiny kiss behind it before speaking the two words you had been dreading the most.

“One more.”

Taglist:

@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles @argwein

A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!

[shibaraki]

THE VANISHING MOON ┊ TSUKISHIMA KEI

tags: GN reader, post timeskip, exes to lovers, fluff, emotional hurt + comfort, reader is a writer, alcohol consumption, mutual pining, getting back together, kisses, weddings, previous ‘mutual’ breakup, happy ending

wc: 4.2K

For as long as you can remember, you’ve loved love stories.

The first time you picked up a pen with the intention to write you’d been looking for a specific someone. To pour love into and be loved by. Conjured from the recesses of your mind, a soft smile from the boy you liked, one prepared to whisk you away from the converging angst that came with your adolescence.

In later years you looked inward, searching for yourself. To satiate your loneliness through self introspection. Ink blotted fingers working arduously at the knots that make up the soul. Knots that were once straight rope, simple and without weak points. And when you failed to love yourself you turned outward, exploring the web that made up the world.

You saw that other people loved stories, too. That there would always be at least one which speaks to them in some way and stays with them. You coveted that reality; to be something another person could love, and look back on with fondness. For your words to strike such a chord that they’d become part of another’s tapestry. To live on. Never again be forgotten, even if it means being an echo of something.

That yearning accompanies you up the cobbled footpath. The crisp air pinching the tips of your ears. Soft, muted chirps rippled throughout the treeline. “Wow,” you murmur, breathless. Arms sticky with perspiration, leg muscles tingling in exertion after walking the steep hill.

The reception venue sits on the end of a private road, concealed by threadbare canopy. Under an open sky there lay every shade and stroke of colour. Dappled sunlight casts shadows across the grass and your eyes are drawn to them.

“Wow is right. They’ve done an incredible job,” Sugawara airs his appreciation as he walks at your side. His voice is awed, and his cheeks are red. “I can’t believe they managed it. Karumai Gardens are notoriously stingy for booking events”.

The wedding invitation shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Remaining some of your closest friends, Kiyoko and Tanaka had already confirmed your attendance long before the formal invites were sent out. You even found yourself on the end of multiple phone calls over the months assisting a panicked Tanaka with writing and rewriting his vows.

Despite that, your stomach roiled at the invitation on your kitchen counter, and your heart crawled up into your throat. Because suddenly it was too real.

Everybody would be there.

Tsukishima would be there.

You’ve been a high strung for most of the day, hyper vigilant to the point of fraying. The ceremony was beautiful. Kiyoko looked ethereal draped in her white lace gown, a delicate veil cascading down her back and rippling down the aisle as she walked. Tanaka was striking in his dark blue suit and embroidered waistcoat. Sitting at the forefront, you remained steadfast in your ignorance of Tsukishima’s scrunity and dabbed at your face as you cried.

You missed having his attention. Missed the subtle stroke of his sharp gold eyes across every part of you as though it were Tsukishima’s hands themselves. A scant, cowardly part of you considered not attending the reception, grateful that he hadn’t approached you yet. If he would at all. Kei could be unbearably prideful about these things. But what do you know?

Nothing. After all this time you probably know nothing at all.

“I think he wants to talk to you,” Sugawara says, drawing your focus to the present. “It’s obvious he’s missed you”.

You edge past the increasingly dense foliage with intent, your fingertips outstretched to brush the near-blooming plants. “Who?” you ask. Sugawara’s grin turns wry and he threads his arm through yours.

“So petty,” he murmurs, patting your bicep. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But he’s single, and has been staring at you all day. I thought I should mention it”.

“Well you’ve mentioned it,” you return without true malice, squeezing him back. Sugawara’s lips parted in a sigh, and for a brief second, you saw a wistful expression beneath the lighthearted veneer. It stirs unease in your chest and you add, “I just don’t want to make a scene”.

“You really think that’s what it’ll come to?”

Memories unearthed from the deep recesses of your mind. Packed away into tight spaces and left to collect dust where they can’t hurt you. They awaken easily, triggered by a simple question, and with such clarity that you wonder if you ever forgot them at all.

Soft, deliberate touches. Long, warm embraces, swallowed up by his large frame. Graceless laughter—the ugly kind that makes your stomach hurt. Languorous kisses, biting kisses, chaste kisses, clumsy kisses. Good morning and good night kisses. Bickering over breakfast. Bickering over dinner. Wandering, calloused hands. Pressure behind two fingers, splitting you like soft fruit. A sharp tongue and sharper words. Holding hands in bed, anchoring yourself to him like you were afraid he might float away in the night.

Life became busier than either of you expected. Kei landed an opportunity to play for a division two team in the V league alongside his work at the Sendai city museum. Your publisher's demands increased. Kei’s priorities shifted. Resentment crept in. He started to forget things. Small promises and favours, like getting the grocery’s or making it home for date night. They felt so significant at the time—things you deemed indicative of his commitment to you, without communicating as such.

Fractures formed in your relationship. You ignored them in favour of keeping the peace, hoping to address them when the timing was better. Only with hindsight can you say that was the wrong choice. The fractures contracted, expanded until it grew into a yawning cavity with one of you standing either side of it. A slow decay.

“No. No, it wouldn’t,” you tell Sugawara. Tsukishima has never been a shining paragon of virtue but he wouldn't do anything to disrupt Tanaka’s wedding. “I’m just nervous. I haven’t seen him since…”

Sugawara hums his acknowledgment. You’re adrift as he guides you into the venue holding the wedding reception, welcomed into a kaleidoscope of colour. Carefully crafted floral arrangements line the hall. Half of the building is a greenhouse conversion, and natural light filters in through the high, arching ceilings, illuminating the dance floor. You take in the surroundings as your senses are enveloped by the pleasant din.

“Look, there’s Yachi and Nishinoya,” Sugawara tugs on your arm and calls out, “Yachi! Noya!”

Nishinoya crowed, leaping forward to gather you and Sugawara into a blistering hug. Barely two extra inches on him yet larger than you remember, skin kissed by the sun and his hair handsomely coiffed. His waistcoat creases awkwardly with the stretch of his body while you sink into his warmth and feel your cheeks ache.

“Man, I feel like I could scale a mountain! It’s so good to see you guys again,” Nishinoya reclines to get a look at you both and firmly takes you by the shoulders. “You have a lot to answer for,” he says with mock seriousness.

“I do?” you laugh, skull knocking side to side as he shakes you.

“I read your book on the plane”.

Your laughter putters out. You grimace and clear your throat, “Oh—really?”

“Most of us have. We wanted to support you properly,” Yachi admits as she steps forward to hug you. She’s smiling when she pulls away, faint laughter lines deepening.

Sugawara nods and pokes at your waist, “Don’t look so embarrassed. It was amazing”.

“It made me cry!” Nishinoya effuses. He sniffs, and to your mortification he looks like he might burst into tears again. “There was this one line—gah, no! I can’t talk about it. Get over here, I need to hug you again”.

“Thank you, Noya-san,” you wheeze at the arms constricting around your midsection, eyes clenched shut to repress the impending sting. You turn your head, nose knocking against his temple as you peer at the others. “Thank you all. I mean it”.

Yachi squirms, her smile quivering. “I’m really happy you made it today,” she says once you’ve been released. The unyielding pressure of Nishinoya’s embrace lingers like two phantom limbs. “You too, Nishinoya-san”.

“It’s amazing you’re upright. I thought for sure the jet lag would get to you,” Sugawara laughs. He utters a quick apology to the server passing with a tray of drinks. “Didn’t you fly in from Barcelona?”

“Yeah. Should’a been heading to Andorra but I wouldn’t miss my bro’s wedding for the world,” Nishinoya’s voice drifts as his eyes follow the alcohol. He plucks a glass in one swift motion and holds it high, “Salut I força al canut!”

Yachi watches him throw back the drink with poorly veiled anxiety. “Ah, speaking of, we should find our seats. It looks like the cake cutting is starting soon”.

“Good call. We’re getting in the way of the preparations. And I think you’ve left Asahi alone for too long,” Sugawara claps Nishinoya on the shoulder. “Looks like he’s been accosted by Saeko-san”.

Nishinoya pivots on his heel, whip-like and buzzing. You’re not sure which name he reacted to more. Asahi or Saeko. “Where?” his gaze locks in on the pair across the room. “I’ll talk to you guys in a bit!”

Gone in a blink. “He never slows down,” Sugawara sighs, shaking his head fondly. “Guess that’s my cue,” he says before parting ways. Yachi waves after them.

An idea strikes you then. “Say, Yacchan. You’re next to me, right?” you glance toward the long tables set up around the dance floor and meet her gaze with a suggestive smile. “Would you want to sit next to Yamaguchi instead? I don’t mind swapping”.

Their relationship had blossomed over the past few months. A long, slow burn finally come to fruition, new enough that mention of it usually makes her turn pink. But the light in her eyes dims at your suggestion, and rather than flustered, Yachi looks uncertain.

Her fingers form a loose clasp around your forearm. “Tadashi is seated next to Tsukishima,” she explains gingerly. You feel yourself freeze and the kind motion of her thumb strokes circles along the inside of your wrist.

You let out a shaky exhale. “That’s okay. I don’t mind,” you tell her before the consequences of what you’re offering can really be cemented. Yachi’s eyes widen, her grip tighter on your hand as you squeeze back in an attempt at reassurance, knowing your smile looks brittle. “It’s probably for the best. We haven’t… talked yet”.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure”.

“Are you sure you’re sure?”

“Hitoka,” you laugh, bumping your shoulders together. “I promise I’ll survive”.

You regret it not two minutes later.

Anticipation fizzes under your skin as you spot him. On approach you give him a cursory look over, the harsh beat of your heart ricocheting in your chest. Tsukishima looks good—he always does, but today, dressed in his dark, double breasted suit, with the golden hour light carding fingers through his neatly styled hair, you think he’s never looked better.

It is disconcerting to see him again and realise that your feelings haven’t changed much in the slightest.

You sit in the chair beside him. You see his spine draw taut in the corner of your eye and feel an oscillating loneliness; so alike those final few weeks together that cold dread seeps between the spaces in your ribs and steals your breath.

“Tsukishima,” you incline your head, impersonal and cautious, hating how foreign his surname is on your tongue.

A beat passes before he repeats your name in greeting, soft as a psalm despite the dour expression on his face. You’re overcome with the urge to poke the uncomfortable crease in his brow. To smooth it out and kiss the skin there, the way you used to do.

You shift in your seat. The arms curve around your midsection and knock against your elbows as you fiddle with the table cloth, “I told Yacchan that Yamaguchi could have my seat so they can sit together. I hope that’s alright”.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” and you know the clipped answer is reflexive by the way his jaw locks in frustration at himself. Bracing for what you’ll say next.

Only, your mouth curls up a little, and you exhale a short laugh through your nose. You haven’t seen him this skittish since your first year of highschool. You consider that maybe you aren’t the only one who’s scared. That things are the same and they are not the same. The thought is bittersweet, but it’s nice, the way his trepidation gives way to muted awe, how he sends you sidelong glances when he thinks you’re not looking.

The music picks up in a grand crescendo as the newlyweds enter the hall and the reception begins with a raucous applause. A rich aroma unfurls as the food is served, the depth of the flavour layering over the already present notes of wildflower and honey. Drinks are handed to the guests. Generously. You swirl the liquid gold around the rim of your glass, luxuriating in the syrupy inebriation of a gently oaked chardonnay.

“So, uh. How’ve you been?”

Tsukishima, to his credit, does not startle at the question. “Fine,” he says, and you think he might leave it at that when he adds, “The museum received another new Crinoid collection last month, so I’ve been preoccupied”.

You grasp at the conversational thread, not wanting him to stop, “Crinoids?”

“Marine animals. They still exist today, though not as common. You might’ve heard of sea lilies and feather stars,” he shrugs halfheartedly, not daring to look away from his deep fried tofu, though it’s clear he can’t help talking about his work with pride. “Ours are from the Triassic period”.

“Just like the, uh—” you click your fingers to conjure the name from thin air “—Gojirasaurus! Your favourite, right?”

Tsukishima pauses. It’s a fleeting thing, but you notice. The corner of his lips curves into a barely-there smile. He seems pleased that you remembered. You busy your hands with repositioning the cutlery a fourth time so maybe, hopefully, you can distract yourself enough not to say something stupid like: “If I visit, will you show it to me?” or “Do you miss me, like I miss you?”

You clear your throat. “I hear the Sendai Frogs have been doing well, too. Congratulations on moving up to division one”.

Those aureate eyes are sliding to you again, bright and searching. Tsukishima arches his brow in a delicate mocking gesture that was unbearable when he was sixteen and even more so now. “Keeping tabs on me, are you?”

There’s mirth trickling into his voice, giving it a familiar smarmy lilt. A wave of emotion washes over you. Embarrassment and heart-twisting-happiness. You shove some rice into your mouth and chew it down to fine paste, vying for time to formulate a coherent sentence. “No. I read about it in the latest Volleyworld issue,” you reply unconvincingly.

“You don’t read Volleyworld”.

“How would you know that?”

Tsukishima takes a shallow breath and nods. The warm gloam of late afternoon mellows his taut features. “I’ve been reading too,” he says after another sip of wine. “I saw you finally published your book”.

Dread seized the inner workings of your mind and the apology on the tip of your tongue curdles. Time ticks by, one sickening second after another. Your eyes dip low to avoid his gaze—which for some reason, he refused to direct anywhere else.

Your recollection of the break up itself was hazy at best. There had been no raised voices, no desperate movie-esque kiss, no slammed doors. Only grief filling your body like lead, and jumbled, half-hysterical thoughts of ‘Is this it? Are we giving everything up, just like that?’

You remember everything that followed, though. The inability to accept reality. It is said if a writer falls in love, that love can never die. And so you kept writing, and writing, and writing; perceiving love through different lenses, creating different endings; relying on metaphors of natural forces and disasters, of cannibalism and gluttony, of journeys and patience to make sense of it all. Six months after everything fell apart you completed the final draft of ‘The Vanishing Moon’, dedicating a final testimony to him in small print on the first page.

Given the choice, I would’ve rather had you at my side than any one of these words.

Has he seen it? Is that what he’s getting at? Did he read through all eighteen chapters and meticulously pick out the remnants of him you pressed between the pages?

“Noya said it made him cry,” you eventually reply.

Tsukishima signals for another drink. He takes two flutes from the server, handing one to you. You accept it with a soft ‘thanks’, hoping he didn’t notice the tremor in your fingers. “Nishinoya-san cried when he found out swans can be gay,” he points out.

“You cried at The Land Before Time”.

“What kind of cold hearted bastard doesn’t cry at The Land Before Time?”

Laughter bubbles up in your chest as the initial dread ebbs away and the tension seeps from your shoulders. Tsukishima dips his chin, a small smile as he mutters, “That’s better”.

In the centre of the hall Tanaka cradles Kiyoko in his arms, now surrounded by clusters of their loved ones whirling with their own partners, a hurricane of colour and laughter and love. Tsukishima observes them with a solemn gleam in his eye. That could’ve been us, his heart says in chorus with your own.

“Do you remember that time we danced together in third year, at the summer festival? I tried to kiss you and gave you a nosebleed”.

“I remember”.

Your gaze drops to the bottom of your glass. At the time you had been mortified. Now it’s a story you would share at your own wedding table. The thought cleaves your heart in half.

“Do you remember the song that was playing?”

“Why are you bringing this up?” Tsukishima snaps. “Yes, I remember everything. I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to. Happy?”

There’s a surge of something devastating in your chest, like love and heartbreak all at once, strong enough that you feel as if your ribs might splinter just to make room for it. But they don’t—and you don’t, because you’ve felt this before, and your body remembers.

You remember.

Suddenly the room is too hot, and the music is too loud. “Sorry. I’ll be back in a minute,” you murmur, pushing your chair back and getting to your feet.

“Wait,” in one short breath there are long, calloused fingers circling your wrist. You do wait. Tsukishima hesitates, the pressure elevates, and as you lean away your palm slips into his, skin kissing skin. Then he’s standing, towering over you. “I’ll come with you. I know a place that’s quiet”.

Tsukishima does not let go of your hand, and you don’t let go of his. He walks a few steps ahead guiding you through the throngs of people. Some familiar heads turn, their attention drawn immediately to the place where your bodies meet, and shooting you various looks of encouragement or confusion. Yamaguchi sees you pass and his mouth splits into a grin so wide that his eyes crinkle.

You’re not sure where it is he’s taking you, only that his promise of finding quiet is true. The cacophony simmers and soon enough the festivities are muffled entirely. Just when you think you’ve wound up at the end of a corridor it curves, leading to a pair of french doors. “Come on,” Tsukishima ushers you out onto a balcony.

What you’re greeted by makes your breath catch. The world as it is around you comes to a standstill, the fabric of reality peeling away. An orange yolk dips below the horizon and the sunset hour drapes across the ostensibly endless meadow hidden behind the Karumai Gardens. Rolls of grass sway in the wind, peppered with wildflowers of every shade.

You move to stand at the balcony’s edge. Tsukishima drops his hand, and your fingers curl into your palm. The shadows grow longer, the air cooler. The evening insects begin to sing. You’re warmed still by the wine thrumming in your bloodstream.

“Hey, Tsukki?”

He comes to stand beside you, folding his arms atop the wall. “Don’t call me that”.

“Oh,” you swallow against the swell in your throat. “Sorry, Tsukishima”.

Tsukishima’s expression twists into a scowl. There’s a blush creeping toward his ears. “I didn’t mean that,” he says. You blink and wait for him to elaborate, which only flusters him further. He stares stubbornly at the border. “Just—call me as you normally would. Anything else sounds wrong in your mouth”.

The name leaves you in an instant. Hushed—not whispered, “…Kei”.

He makes an inquisitive noise, strangled as it is.

“You didn’t say what you thought of it,” you continued. “My book”.

You feel a rush of adrenaline when Kei doesn't answer immediately, unable to read his expression. “Good,” he says, veiled indifference belied by the restless twisting of a cufflink between his forefinger and thumb. “It was good”.

“Well, that’s practically a Pulitzer recommendation coming from you”.

“Shut up,” he huffed, gaze flitting across your face and dropping to your tentative, uncertain beginning of a smile. He wets his lips and glances away. Heartened, both by the alcohol and his reciprocation, you press closer in small increments, and Kei flowers under your gentle persuasion, like he always used to.

“This okay?”

In lieu of a reply you are ensconced by a warm, firm chest and two strong arms around your back that show no sign of withdrawing. The low timbre of his voice vibrates under your cheek, “Who was it for?”

“Hm?”

“The book. You dedicated it to someone”.

You exhale, squeezing your eyes shut. You’re glad, in part, that he can’t see the emotion written plainly on your face. “Nobody,” you answer lightly, angling to position your ear right over his beating heart. “Just an ex. You don’t know him”.

“Right,” Kei says, drawing out the ‘l’ the way he does when conceding a point he knows he’s correct about. It sounds so fond that you want to curl up where you’re resting, like some benevolent cat. “Guy must’ve been a dick”.

“I was too. We made a lot of mistakes, I think,” you say. If nothing came of this you would at least be able to revisit it; to pick at the scab and stop the wound from closing over too soon. There’s comfort in that. You crane your head and meet his gaze, nervous but unwavering. “But even if he was kind of a dick, I miss him a lot”.

“Yeah?” his eyes soften, half lidded and dark. “He misses you too”.

“He told you that, did he?” your mouth trembles. Kei dips to bring your foreheads together, and the hard frame of his glasses bumps your eyebrow. You share a shaky exhale of laughter.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, brow pinched with regret. Again, “I’m sorry. I know I fucked up”.

You feel your jaw quiver. The familiar burn behind your eyes. Tears so close you can taste them. “We both did. Don’t shoulder the blame on your own”.

“But I made you feel lonely,” he says.

You tuck your chin and whisper, “Yes”.

His fingers splayed across your cheek, pinky tucked beneath your jaw as he cradled your face in his hand, tilting until you’re staring back at the reflection in his pupils. Puffy and damp, eyelashes clumped with tears. What a sight.

Kei strokes his thumb in an arc beneath your eye. A tear beads on his nail, slipping into the crook of his hand. The inexpressible tenderness is overwhelming yet you are underwhelmed by the inaction. You can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed by the whine in your voice as you ask, “Are you going to kiss me?”

“Demanding as ever. What happened to ‘please’?” he murmurs. And then he kisses you.

It is slow at first, hesitant, leaving room for you to pull away. But with every languid movement of Kei’s lips came a sweet affirmation, that which you took and took until you no longer felt unworthy of receiving it. His hand flutters at your waist. You take a shuddered breath, pressing closer into his embrace and deepening the kiss. In his distraction you take him by the wrist, encouraging him to touch. There’s an immediate, reverent grip at your hip, kneading over your clothes.

This is what you’d been longing for. The feeling you couldn’t transpose; that which people have long tried to capture. The esoteric, giddy anticipation and joy that bubbled between two people on the precipice of something bigger than themselves. Even with an affinity for stringing words together you are scarcely able to describe it. Immense and overwhelming, light and dark, tender and everything in between.

Kei pulls away for breath with a low, vibrating hum, wearing a smile that you thought you’d never see outside of your memories. Almost boyish when he looks at you. The distance is an inch too many but it is just that—an inch. “Eager,” he teases, only to kiss you again, twice as eager.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve loved love stories.

But love doesn’t only exist in stories.

You remember that, now.