#summer fic exchange 2k22

[fallinallincurls]

I Know Something Now That I Didn’t Before

coming in at the last minute, but this fic is finally here!! thank you to @antoineroussel for hosting the summer fic exchange once again, it’s always so much fun to be a part of. this is for @hockeylvr59​! the entire idea was amazing to bring to life and i hope you love it! the title comes from taylor swift’s “everything has changed” which also fits the vibe of this fic perfectly

warnings: brief mentions of childbirth and blood, side character death. if i missed anything else, please let me know!

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 7.4k

~~~~~

Out of all the titles and accomplishments that can be attached to Cale Makar’s name, being a father is the one he is most proud of. But it’s days like today that he’s unfortunately reminded of how life doesn’t always go to plan no matter who you are.

His daughter is starting preschool today. Cale’s little baby girl has grown so much over the years, but this big moment in their lives is proof that time is moving too quickly. And on top of those emotions, she’s starting school without her mom here. A reminder that Cale wishes he could change with every single passing day.

He’s currently standing at the stove making Maisy’s favorite breakfast, chocolate chip and sprinkle pancakes, when all the memories rush back unwelcome on what’s meant to be a happy morning for the father and daughter.

Cale never expected this to be his life at 23. But after being asked to join the Avalanche in the middle of their 2019 playoff run, he left behind his college years and became a professional athlete in the blink of an eye. It just so happened the Avs were playing the Flames which meant Cale was heading home in an odd way. And somehow, in all the craziness of that time in his life, he reconnected with Beatrice.

Beatrice who he went to high school with and remained one of his best friends when hockey started taking over his life. Beatrice who was so happy to see him back in Calgary even if only for a short period of time. Beatrice who made the first move when the Avs got eliminated and made the two of them official.

Everything had been a whirlwind to Cale, but reconnecting with Bea was incredible. For the entirety of the offseason, their relationship was happy and full of love. It was all he could ever ask for. But as the next season approached and Cale received word that he would be returning to the team permanently, things began to shift.

The time for training, meetings, moving from one country to another permanently, and all the other requirements of playing in the NHL started to take a toll on them. Cale couldn’t stop the inevitable, so before he flew to Denver for training camp, he gently suggested that they break up and remain friends. Because after all this time, he didn’t want her to disappear from his life.

And life went on. The season started and Cale was off to a phenomenal start as a rookie which continued to stun anyone watching him play. Bea reached out frequently enough whether with a simple text or phone call. Life was good.

Then, Beatrice called that November. 

The words she said all made perfect sense, but Cale couldn’t comprehend anything. Pregnant, it’s his, what are they going to do, unexpected. The world came to a screeching halt all at once. And from that moment on, his life was changed forever. 

He was going to be a dad.

Despite the fact that he and Beatrice broke up, Cale insisted on being there for her during the entire pregnancy because that’s what good friends do when they’re expecting together. He wanted to help with anything he possibly could so he did. Doctor appointments, shopping for the necessities, taking care of Bea when he wasn’t on the road. It wasn’t easy to balance both his rookie season and the preparation of having a baby, but Cale found himself getting more and more excited with each passing day.

The day his little girl arrived in the world was full of more emotions than Cale thought possible. Bea’s labor was seemingly going well, not too long and not that painful, and he was there for every step of the way. Cale was in awe more than anything of Bea and the fact that their baby girl was finally here, but before either of them could soak in the moment, chaos broke out.

The next thing Cale remembers is the nurse telling him she has to push through the afterbirth. They were both terrified, but his heart dropped the second the machines started beeping and Bea began to lose consciousness. He was immediately rushed out of the room so the doctors could help, but when the nurse approached him again with a look of despair, all he heard were the words complications with delivery and severe blood loss. Bea unfortunately didn’t make it. She was gone. There was hardly any time to process the devastating news before the nurse asked if he would finally like to meet his baby. His little girl.

With tears in his eyes, Cale nodded and followed the nurse back to the nursery. The moment she was placed in Cale’s arms, he felt his heart burst and tears roll down his cheeks. Everything he will ever do will be for her, he swears right then and there.

“Do you have a name for her?” The nurse asked quietly, not following the question with a further explanation. It dawns on him then that this decision, and everything else going forward, will be completely up to him. He’s on his own.

“Maisy. Maisy Beatrice Makar.” Cale replied, trying to keep his emotions in check. The baby girl, Maisy, wrapped one of her tiny hands around Cale’s pointer finger as if in approval of her carefully selected name. Maisy was the one both Cale and Bea had picked out in advance, but there was no doubt about making his daughter’s middle name the one that belonged to her mom. It had to be.

From then on, it’s been Cale and Maisy against the world. Of course, they both miss Bea in different ways that almost no one understands, but Cale couldn’t be anymore grateful for the help he’s received over the last four years from friends, family and teammates. They say it takes a village and Cale is the first to second that statement.

Now, he’s just won the Stanley Cup, his lifelong dream, along with the Norris and Conn Smythe. Celebrating and making the most of riding out the high this huge victory provided has been nothing short of incredible. The happiness he’s felt since the Avs became champs is like nothing else in the entire world. And through the entire season, from start to finish, Maisy has been there. The win meant just as much to her as it did for him.

Except Cale thinks that her first day at preschool might be even more exciting considering how she hasn’t stopped talking about it practically all summer.

“Daddy! I lost my shoes!” Maisy’s voice breaks Cale out of his trance where he’s reliving the good and painful memories. No matter how badly he wishes that Beatrice was here to see Maisy on such an important day, she isn’t, and he’s going to make sure his little girl knows her mom would be insanely proud of her like always.

With a glance over his shoulder, he spots Maisy’s favorite pair of sparkly Converse by the door. “By the door, sweetie!” He calls back, plating the pancakes before turning around towards the kitchen island. His eyes find the flash of blonde hair passing through the room in mere seconds as Maisy runs to get her shoes. 

Before he knows it, Maisy is crawling up onto a stool at the counter and giving Cale her biggest smile. Even after all this time, Cale’s overwhelmed with emotions looking at his daughter. She’s beautiful. Identical clear blue eyes like his which shine beneath her pink framed glasses, curly blonde hair that just reaches her shoulders now, a sweet smile that reminds him so much of Beatrice’s. He adores her and can’t believe how much she’s already grown.

“Chocolate chip and sprinkle pancakes! My favorite!” Maisy exclaims when she sees the full plate at her seat. “Will you help me put my shoes on and do my hair after we eat?” She asks adorably, attention never faltering from her father.

“Absolutely I can do that. Are you sure you want to wear your jersey to the first day of preschool though?” Cale smiles as he sits next to her and they start eating breakfast together. He couldn’t miss the signature burgundy and blue that adorned the top half of her body when she came down the stairs moments ago. Maisy cherishes her Stanley Cup playoffs Makar jersey over all her others now and it seems to be her outfit choice to start school.

“Mhm! I love my jersey and it’ll be like having you at school with me in a funny way.” Maisy replies with a definitive nod. Cale can’t argue with her and as long as she’s happy, he’s happy so he just smiles while love rushes through him.

Maisy pushes her breakfast plate away from her only a few minutes later, stating that she’s full and needs help with finishing getting ready. Cale kneels down to tie her shoes before getting to work on her hair. Of course, she picked out a matching bow to go with her jersey and Cale can’t help but chuckle as he tries to wrangle in her unruly curls.

It’s only when Maisy is distractedly humming to herself while her dad puts the bow in her hair that Cale spills the big surprise.

“Maisy?” He asks, earning a soft response from the little girl. “I know you’re really excited for your first day of preschool and so am I. And even though Mommy isn’t here today, she left me something a long time ago to give you. Is that okay?”

“From Mommy?” Maisy’s voice is so quiet that Cale’s heart almost breaks. It’s not like they don’t talk about Beatrice, it’s just hard for both of them for different reasons. Maisy never got the chance to know her. She doesn’t have any memories, only the stories that Cale has told her while he feels the direct pain of the loss for both him and their daughter. Cale nods, tying her bow in place before facing her. “Can we open it together before we go to school?”

“That sounds like a great plan. Stay right here, okay?” 

When Cale returns only a few minutes later with a small box in hand, Maisy’s head tilts in curiosity, but she waits until her father speaks again. 

“When you were in Mommy’s tummy, she decided to write you a letter for the first day of school for each year. Because today is the first day of preschool, we can open the first letter.” Cale explains softly, kissing the top of her head as he picks up a pink envelope in the front of the box and lets Maisy open it.

“Dear Maisy,” She starts reading with a smile until her brows furrow in confusion and she looks back up at Cale. “Read for me, please?” 

“Dear Maisy, it’s your first day of preschool! I’m so proud of you. I hope you have your favorite outfit picked out and all the best snacks in your lunchbox. This is a really big moment! I can’t believe you’ve grown so much and I just know you’re the most resilient, funny and bright little girl in the entire world. Daddy and I are so lucky to have you. Go make some friends, have fun and I’m wishing you the best first day ever! Love, Mommy.” Cale reads Beatrice’s handwritten words from the small card. 

He doesn’t notice the tears in his own eyes until he’s wiping away Maisy’s and pulling her in for a hug. A comfortable silence settles around them for a moment, but it isn’t long before Maisy’s voice fills the air once more.

“Don’t worry, Daddy. I know Mommy is with me right here,” She puts a little hand over her heart, “and that makes today even more special. I think I’m ready to go to school now.” Maisy tucks the paper in the envelope again before tugging on Cale’s hand. She puts the letter in the safest place within her backpack to have with her throughout the day and the two of them finish up their morning routine. The heavy emotions subside only to be replaced with happiness that Cale feels with each passing second.

It is Maisy’s first day of school after all. 

~~~~~

That cannot be her. 

The last time Cale saw Maia, they were sitting next to each other in their sophomore statistics class at UMass the day before he left for Colorado. He hasn’t seen her since. Through Instagram, he knows that she graduated summa cum laude last year and got her dream teaching job for the following fall. But other than that, she has been someone stuck in his past that he wishes he had more time with before his college career got cut short because of hockey. 

Except at this very moment, she’s standing right in front of him and his daughter at her new preschool welcoming each of the children that will presumably be her students.

Ohmygod.

Gabe, ever observant, notices the longing and surprised look on his teammate’s face and elbows Cale just enough to grab his attention again. Maisy’s arms are wrapped around one of Cale’s legs as she takes in the scene around her. It’s easy to tell that she’s nervous, scared and shy all at once, her earlier excitement seemingly having disappeared for the moment. Linnea, on the other hand, is happily bouncing next to Gabe and Cale feels grateful for the millionth time that Maisy won’t be alone today because she has such a good friend in his captain’s daughter.

“Who is she?” Gabe asks, not dancing around the subject at all. Cale tries to suppress the urge to roll his eyes as he drops a hand to Maisy’s head knowing the simple touch will keep her calm until he can talk to her.

“Who?” Cale decides to play dumb, hoping to get Gabe off the topic but it doesn’t work. He gets a level stare instead. “Maia. We went to UMass together and I had the biggest crush on her. We shared a lot of classes and hung out a lot because of that, but I never acted on anything since I wasn’t sure if she felt the same way. I haven’t seen her since I left to join the team.” He admits, awaiting some kind of reaction to the shortened story he just recounted.

“Well, judging by the look on your face you wish you did something about it then. Universe works in funny ways, Cale. Give it some time. You know she’s here now and considering she’s your daughter’s preschool teacher, I’m sure there won’t be a shortage of opportunities to talk to her.”

“I don’t even know if she remembers me, Gabe.”

With one glance back towards the woman standing near the school’s entrance, Gabe catches her eyes flickering over to where the two hockey players are standing. It’s almost impossible to miss the split second change of emotions on display across her facial features when she looks at Cale. 

“I highly doubt that.” Gabe responds, patting Cale on the shoulder and offering a genuine smile before kneeling down to talk to Linnea. 

“Daddy?” Maisy speaks up softly, tugging at his hand and looking up at him with her big blue eyes. Cale’s heart just about melts at the sight. 

“How are you feeling, Maise?” Cale asks, putting himself on the little girl’s level. She offers him a shy smile and then hugs her father tightly for a moment. He holds her close, letting her revel in the comfort of the embrace until she’s ready to say anything more.

“I’m scared. There’s a lot of kids and I only know Lala.” Maisy admits with a small waver in her voice giving away her emotions.

“There are a lot of kids here, but you’ll have Linnea to play with and I know you’ll make so many new friends. I saw a girl with an Avalanche keychain on her backpack over there and a boy who had the same coloring book you love at home.” “Really?” Maisy says with that familiar gleam of hope. Cale only nods in response, kissing her forehead which earns him a tiny giggle. A sound he’ll never get tired of hearing. 

“Really. You’ll have so much fun today and I can’t wait to hear all about it.”  That seems to ease some of Maisy’s anxiety about such a big change, but he knows another question is going to follow behind so he patiently waits.

“Will we have snacktime? You packed my Teddy Grahams right?” Before Cale can answer that, yes there will be snacktime and of course he packed her Teddy Grahams, a soft female voice cuts in surprising both of the Makars.

“Snacktime is right after coloring so you’ll be able to eat your Teddy Grahams. What kind is your favorite?” 

“The honey ones!” Maisy perks right up, turning right back into the happy and adorable girl that Cale knows so well. She leans right into Cale who keeps her close, but everything seems to disappear the moment he looks up at who is currently talking to his daughter.

Maia.

“Me too! Those are the best.” Maisy giggles at that, filling the air with joy just from the simple sound. And if Cale wasn’t so focused on the woman crouching down in front of them, he would’ve chuckled along too. Instead his heart is racing and he can’t form one coherent thought because after all this time, she’s right here again. The one who got away. 

Her wavy hair is a little longer and darker than it was in college and her eyes are still so bright. Cale can’t help but notice how her curves have filled out since the last time he saw her and the pretty clementine print dress she’s wearing highlights that, taking his breath away. He’s in awe of how beautiful she is like he always has been.

“I’m Ms. Webber, your preschool teacher. What’s your name?”

“Maisy!” 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Maisy. I love your name.” Maia responds, smiling fondly at the little girl who is already melting her heart. 

“Thank you. It was picked out special for me.” She says, voice quiet with shyness but Cale can tell she’s slowly warming up to the idea of school once again. “This is Daddy! He plays hockey here. Did you know that?” Maisy continues, squeezing Cale’s arm and that’s when Maia’s gaze falls to the little girl’s father.

It is him.

Cale Makar.

When Maia received her class list at the beginning of the summer, she picked out the last name within seconds. Makar is pretty much a household name in Denver now so it wasn’t easy to overlook, but more importantly, it still belonged to the man who has held her heart since the day they first met. She tried to not get her hopes up because how could he have a daughter entering preschool at this very moment in time? Yet, here he is with that exact little girl who’s name was on her roster and looks just like her father. Not to mention, she’s full of sunshine.

“I had no idea. That’s so cool! This must be his jersey then, huh?” Maia asks, keeping the conversation going with Maisy but her eyes drift to Cale and it feels as if her heart stops right then and there. He looks almost exactly as she remembers him, maybe a little more muscular and older, but other than that he looks like the Cale she knew in college. Glasses and all. She can’t believe it.

“Well, that’s his name and number, but this is my jersey.” Maisy exclaims with a laugh and the way Cale looks at his daughter is the purest form of love that Maia has ever seen. Before anything else could be said, the school bell rings and the kids begin departing from their parents. Maia politely excuses herself to join her colleagues for the day as Maisy collapses into Cale’s arms for one last hug.

“Have a great first day, Maise. You’ll have lots of fun. I love you so much.” Cale murmurs into her blonde hair, trying to hold back the surge of emotions that have arisen in the moment. 

“I love you too. I’ll have lots of fun so I can tell you about it later. Bye, Daddy!” Maisy leans up to kiss his cheek and Cale can’t help but hold onto her for just a moment longer.

There’s an unfamiliar pressure evident in Maia’s chest as she watches the father and daughter hold each other in the tightest hug before Maisy falls into step with a girl she must be friends with and together they walk backwards, Maisy waving to Cale the whole way to the door.

It’s going to be an interesting school year.

~~~~~

“Alright, Maisy. Are you getting your usual pizza today or something different?” Cale asks, looking down at his daughter who is holding his hand and bouncing with excitement. The father daughter pizza dates on Friday nights have become a staple in the Makar household and even if Cale’s on the road, they make time for this exact tradition no matter what. 

“Mmm, my usual!” Maisy pipes up in response with a bright smile.

“Okay, go get your favorite seat and I’ll order.” Maisy nods quickly and skips off to the table they always sit at whenever they come to Proto’s Pizza. This particular pizza place is not only Maisy’s favorite, but it was also Beatrice’s whenever she used to come see Cale in Denver. It’s one way that her mom’s memory is kept alive through a simple act even if the cute restaurant has a new meaning to both of them now too.

Cale watches to make sure Maisy settles at the table with her coloring book before stepping up to the counter to order. Two Hawaiian slices for him and two plain for Maisy. The exchange with the cashier is almost exactly the same since he’s a regular here now, but as he moves towards the pick up area, Cale’s eyes spot the familiar brunette waves of not only his daughter’s preschool teacher but the girl he still carries an immense amount of love for.

Maia. 

He hasn’t really seen her since Maisy’s first day of school almost two months ago. Of course she’s there at drop off and pick up, but it’s nothing more than about five minutes and Cale doesn’t know how to start a conversation that isn’t awkward because of all the time they’ve missed. But he wants her back in his life and so far, just Maisy’s teacher isn’t enough.

She’s reading something on her phone when Cale sidles up next to her. With one glance back to make sure Maisy is okay, which she is, he takes a moment to admire how pretty Maia looks in jeans that hug her curves and how she looks more relaxed than she is at school everyday. 

And then he takes that leap of faith. 

“Are you still ordering your half veggie half meat lovers pizza?” The question leaves Cale’s lips, a teasing tone evident in every word he says. Maia’s head snaps up at the sound of his voice, a look of utter disbelief on display across her face.

“Still a better choice than your beloved Hawaiian, Makar.” Maia fires back with that playfulness she always had around him. In that split second, their eyes lock, every memory from college comes rushing back and she suddenly finds herself nervous more than anything. Maia’s heart is racing with anticipation and she knows things have changed since the two of them were themselves, but she can’t stop the sense of familiarity that surrounds her as the conversation unfolds. They’ve had the same argument a million times so it’s easy to slip back into even if their lives are not the same. “Sorry, I mean, it’s still a great choice, but-”

“Not your favorite, I know.” Cale finishes, offering a kind smile to help ease the obvious tension she’s feeling. “It wasn’t then and I can’t imagine that’s changed over the years.” He teases, feeling a tug on his heart when thinking about what they shared at UMass.

“I’m more surprised you remember my go-to order honestly.” 

“How could I forget? Every study date, late night snack and pizza craving you ever had was always half veggie half meat lovers. I’ll remember that order forever.” Cale admits with a chuckle, warming Maia’s heart in mere seconds. It almost feels as if no time has passed at all and they’re still those two kids just trying to get their degrees while figuring out life along the way. 

Except, they aren’t and time has passed. A reminder that strikes Maia as the comfortable silence settles between them.

“Where’s your little one?” 

“Oh,” Cale starts, momentarily forgetting that they’re currently in Proto's, not the dining hall on campus. “Maisy’s at our usual table coloring until our order is ready.” Maia looks towards where he tilts his head, spotting the curly blonde hair that belongs to one of her favorite students.

“She’s just like you. You know that?” Maia asks, surprising even herself at letting the observation slip past her lips. But it’s the truth. Everyday at preschool, she sees more and more of her father in Maisy and the emotions she thought were long gone have risen to the surface over the last two months. 

“That’s what people tell me.” Cale replies, cheeks flushing pink as he scratches the back of his neck. He looks absolutely adorable and Maia can’t help but grin at the sight of him.

“She’s really lucky to have you. And we have plenty to catch up on already, but I would love to hear the story about how she got here.” Maia says softly, gaze flickering back to Maisy who is lost in her own world while coloring away.

Before Cale can do anything else but nod in response, both of their orders are ready. Maia steps forward to grab her pizza box, sparks flying when she brushes past Cale. Almost repeating her actions, he finally finds his voice again. 

“Keep that catching up date in mind. There’s more to cover than you think.” 

“Okay, Makar. We’ll do that soon. Until then, I’ll see you at school with Maisy. Enjoy your Hawaiian pizza, weirdo.”

“Make sure you eat the veggie slices first, Webber.” And just like that, with a small wave and a smile that could rival the sun, Maia heads toward the door. Cale snaps out of his little trance in seconds, bringing the pizza back to the table where his too curious daughter is waiting with lots of questions.

“You and Ms. Webber are friends?” Maisy says immediately as Cale sits down across from her and she forgets about the coloring book she was just working on. Her voice is full of what sounds like hope mixed with peaked interest. 

“She’s actually an old friend of mine from college. We used to do almost everything together before I left to play hockey here.” Cale explains with a grin, his heart swelling like it always does at the thought or mention of Maia. The girl he loved then and never thought he’d have another chance with. “And then we went to your first day of preschool and I found out she’s your teacher!” 

“Oh!” The little girl exclaims as she digs into her pizza. Cale chuckles at her reaction, but it isn’t long before Maisy keeps up her questioning. “Were you best friends? What did you do together?”

The innocent words hang in the hang for a moment. Despite their time being cut short due to Cale’s call up to the NHL, there are countless memories to recall of everything he did with Maia. So without any hesitation, Cale tells his daughter almost everything. About how they met, the way they became instant friends, how when they hung out time felt as if it didn’t exist, the late nights after his games, studying together in the back of the library. There’s so much history and although none of the almost’s slip through his story, the almost kiss, the almost confession of feelings, the almost being something more, Cale longs to change that now.

“I’m going to tell Ms. Webber tomorrow that she knows a famous hockey player. And my daddy!” Maisy exclaims after listening intently. Her blue eyes are alight with joy, a sight that makes her father smile like nothing else. 

“You do that, Maise.” As the two go back to chatting about much simpler things, Cale’s mind wanders through every possibility. He would be stupid to not give them another shot, but he has no idea if those lingering feelings still exist for Maia or if they even existed in the first place. 

That, Cale decides, is step one.

And he knows just the person to ask for advice on how to win a woman’s heart.

~~~~~

Gabe, unfortunately, beats him to the punch. 

It’s a chilly November morning and as Linnea and Maisy reach for each other’s hands to walk into the preschool building together after saying goodbye to their fathers, Gabe voices the question that makes Cale freeze.

“So when are you gonna make a move, Caler?” Gabe teases, lightly elbowing his teammate and Cale’s cheeks become rosier by the second. 

“I-uh, was actually going to ask you about that.” 

“Me? Not EJ or even Devon? It’s an honor.”

“Shut up. EJ would make the whole thing a spectacle and Devon would probably be shocked that I even know how to talk to girls. You’re my best bet. And it’s not a big deal.” Cale replies, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and tries to ignore how embarrassing this is. He’s 23 years old and is asking for advice on how to get the girl. 

He’s won the Stanley Cup and is one of the most distinguished hockey players in the league this early in his career. But talking to one person who’s held his heart for years? That’s impossible.

“Okay, well what are you thinking?” Gabe prompts, eyes remaining on the girls as they say hi to their teacher before disappearing into the building. 

“I don’t even know if she was into me back in college, Gabe. Like I can’t make a move thinking she feels the same way when it’s been years since we last saw each other and I wasn’t sure of her feelings then.” 

“You have to figure out where you stand then.” Cale’s brows furrow in confusion, but his captain continues speaking. “By the way things seem between the two of you, she definitely feels the same way. But I think she’s unsure more than ever. You do have a kid in her preschool class and she might think someone else is in your life.”

“There isn’t.” “Maia doesn’t know that. Does she?” Cale shook his head, the realization dawning on him right then. Since Maisy’s first day of school, there’s been that distance between them. The flirting and comfortableness has returned in their brief exchanges, but not like it used to be. And maybe it’s because Maia thinks Cale’s committed to Maisy’s mom since she doesn’t know the whole story.

“I have to fill her in.” 

“Exactly. And I’m sure once everything is clear, you’ll both be able to admit how you feel to each other. Finally.” Gabe says with a reassuring nod, a smile creeping back onto his face. “You’re growing up so fast. Cale Makar is going to get the girl!”

“Shush! Don’t jinx anything. Nothing’s guaranteed so don’t get your hopes up. I just have to find a moment where I can tell her everything.” Cale settes, brain already racing to find a solution to that problem.

The answer comes not even days later when Maisy hands him a paper about parent teacher conferences. The meeting is used to discuss the progress of each child in class with their parents or guardians. Cale selects a time and date for the following week before making sure to tuck the paper into Maisy’s backpack so she can hand it in the next day.

And even as Maisy rambles on excitedly that night about how she met a friend who loves horses just like Uncle EJ, Cale is stuck on the fact that he’s going to have a designated time alone with just Maia. This is what he needs to finally move their relationship out of the friendzone after all this time.

But this is Maisy’s teacher he’s talking about. Maia isn’t just someone he knows and loves anymore. She’s important to his daughter too now for other reasons. He can’t overlook or forget that. And that means if this doesn’t go as planned, the hurt and awkwardness will be felt by more than just the two of them.

By time the day of the meeting rolls around, Cale is trying to desperately focus on how this is supposed to be about Maisy. The little girl who already owns his heart. It’s constant reminders of how although this is the perfect opportunity, he won’t get distracted by what’s actually at hand: his daughter’s wellbeing. 

After dropping Maisy off to spend the afternoon with Nate, who was more than happy to spend time with the much cuter Makar as he says, Cale drove over to the school. The trip seems quicker than usual because before he knows it, Maia is welcoming him into the little classroom that’s colorfully decorated.

“Hi Cale.” Maia greets, her soft smile lighting up her face and Cale feels his heart swell with adoration. “Thank you so much for coming in today.”

“Hi,” Cale murmurs with a nod of acknowledgement, suddenly becoming the shy person he usually is when meeting others for the first time. “Your classroom is really cute. Decorate it yourself?” 

“I did! It’s my second year teaching so I figured out what worked best last year and made this little space my dream classroom.” Cale’s gaze moves around the room, taking in every little detail about where his little girl spends part of her days now. He sees Maia’s desk in one corner, neatly organized, hand paintings from the class taped up on one wall, different signs hanging around with numbers, colors and letters on them and the small library of books nestled in the reading corner. A slow smile blossoms across his lips, making butterflies erupt in Maia’s stomach. 

“I love it.” Cale says simply. And he does. The whole classroom is exactly as he imagined it would’ve looked when she talked about in college.

“Thank you.” Maia replies, tucking a piece of hair behind her hair. “Let’s sit and get started.” Cale follows her to a little table on the other side of the room and takes a seat in a tiny chair made for preschoolers. He hardly fits in it, knees bending at an awkward angle, and Maia can’t help but giggle at him. Despite everything they’ve missed over the last few years, he’s still the boy she’s in love with.

“So first off, everything I have to say about Maisy today is good. She’s a wonderful student and an even more amazing little girl to her classmates in every situation. It’s clear you’ve done an excellent job raising her.” Maia begins, her warm smile and kind words melting Cale’s heart in an instant. He still isn’t used to accepting compliments about how good of a father he is even if it’s true. He just wants to be enough for Maisy. As long as she’s happy, he did his job right.

“Thank you so much.”

“Oh, of course! There’s plenty more praise for Maisy coming throughout this meeting.” She laughs, the beautiful sound bringing a sense of happiness to Cale that he hasn’t experienced in quite some time. And he can tell Maia feels it too. “Maisy is also ahead of her classmates in several areas of her education. She’s got her ABC’s down and can write her name, her basic math skills are off the charts and she has a pretty good grasp on recognizing words which is great for how young she is.” 

“Oh, really? That’s good to hear. I was worried we hadn’t done enough at home to prepare her.” Cale admits with relief, fumbling with his fingers under the table as a small distraction. 

“Absolutely no worries there. Maisy is right on track for kindergarten and doing so well with things like reading and writing already at her age. We love seeing her here everyday. You and your partner should be so proud. You’ve raised a beautiful and incredible daughter.” 

This is his chance. Tell her the truth.

“I- uh, it’s actually just me and Maisy. But I appreciate that. It means a lot.” 

“Oh, I apologize-” 

“You can stop me if this is an inappropriate time to tell you this, but-”

Both of them stop speaking, not wanting to talk over the other. Blush spreads across Cale’s cheeks as Maia’s beautiful eyes drop down in that way which quietly shows she’s nervous. 

“Go ahead.” She almost whispers. “I know we’re here to talk about Maisy and we pretty much covered everything I had planned, but there seems to be a lot of other things we both have to say.” 

With one deep breath and a racing heart, Cale jumps into his well thought out explanation. He tells Maia about everything that’s happened since he left UMass. Meeting Bea, the tragedy of losing her but gaining his daughter at the same time, taking care of Maisy since then while still playing for the Avs. Every word comes out in a rush, but she listens to every single bit and her gaze begins to fill with hope.

“I just wanted to make it clear that there isn’t anyone else in my life. You’ve been in the dark this whole time and that didn’t feel right.” Cale concludes, feeling the weight of his confession in the air. But the reaction he gets erases every worry present in his mind.

“Cale,” Maia chuckles, her expression soft with joy. “I was honestly so shocked to see you on the first day of school even if Maisy’s name on my classlist gave it away a little bit. But I can’t help and think that us being right here, together, means something more. We never gave ourselves a real chance back in college, but now might be the time. My feelings haven’t changed,”

“Mine either.” Cale interrupts politely, voice quiet but full of emotions.

“So do you want to give this thing another go? For real this time?” The question falls off of Maia’s pink lips, but he can see she’s still unsure if this is real. He’s wondering the same thing. They’ve waited so long for each other and now here’s the opportunity they’ve been waiting for.

“For real this time.” 

~~~~~

“Family, friends and community members, I welcome you to this year’s preschool graduation.” Principal Andrews announces with a bright smile while standing at the podium that’s in front of the small crowd. “These children are on their way to kindergarten in the fall and this ceremony is to recognize the achievement they have all reached during their time in preschool.”

“Crazy you’re going to have a kindergartener soon, huh?” Maia teases, bumping her knee against Cale’s. Her fingers are intertwined with his, their hands resting in his lap.

“Don’t remind me.” He rolls his blue eyes and laughs in response.

It’s been six months since the two of them admitted their feelings to each other and started dating. Despite the fact that the Avs didn’t win the Cup this season, much to Cale and his teammates’ dismay, their relationship has only grown stronger and more incredible. Maisy couldn’t have been more thrilled even if she tried when they told her, the joy of her father finally having someone and that someone being the teacher she adores was the best news. Maia fits right into their lives like she’s always belonged there, something that makes Cale’s heart all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

Now, it’s graduation day for the preschoolers and Cale couldn’t be happier sitting with the girl he’s always loved waiting for his daughter’s name to be announced. He presses a quick kiss to Maia’s temple before they both turn their attention back to the ceremony.

“These fifteen young, bright children have grown in so many ways over the course of this past school year. And now, many would say, they’re ready for the big leagues also known as kindergarten.” The crowd laughs along to the joke, hundreds of emotions being felt at the same time. “The teachers and myself have all cherished the time we had together with these little ones so this is just as special for us as it is for you. Without a further ado, we’ll now be presenting the students with their preschool diploma.”

All the little kids stood up in front of their chairs, the biggest smiles plastered onto each of their faces. Cale spots Maisy easily. Her curly blonde hair is pinned back on the sides and her pink glasses aren’t hard to find in a small group. She picked out her favorite dress, a sparkly blue one, just for today’s event. Watching her shuffle forward on the stage, beautiful and happy, makes Cale think about how much she’s grown up. Time has passed too quickly for his liking and seeing his little girl up there now, moving onto another monumental time in her life, strikes his heart like never before.

The sadness doesn’t stick around for long though as Maisy steps up and Principal Andrews says her name out loud.

“Maisy Beatrice Makar.”

Tears spring into Cale’s eyes while he and Maia stand to clap and cheer. Maisy walks with joy in her step across the stage, accepting a tiny diploma and waving out to Cale right afterwards. With a watery smile and his usual rosy cheeks, he waves back to her. And when Maia leans into his side as silent support, the whole moment couldn’t be any more perfect than it is.

“She did it.” Cale whispers in awe and Maia giggles softly next to him.

“She did. But it’s only preschool. You have at least three more graduations to get through.”

It’s then that the entire class stands in front of the crowd with their diplomas and the principal declares them all preschool graduates. Everyone erupts in cheers, pictures being taken from all angles and Cale is pretty sure the grin on his face will be stuck there for days. 

“Before we conclude our ceremony, it’s part of our school’s tradition to invite parents or guardians on stage for pictures and to represent who will be offering support to the students as they continue on with their education. So, those special individuals, please make your way to the front.” 

“Ready?” The question is a mumble, but Maia hears it. She nods, grabbing Cale’s hand again. Both of their hearts are beating so fast that it’s a surprise no one around hears. Together, they walk towards the stage to join Maisy who is clueless to the moment that’s about to unfold. 

“Daddy!” Maisy calls when she sees Cale come up the stairs. Her excitement is incredibly infectious, something that Maia adores about her too. “And Maia? You both came up?” She asks, obvious confusion crossing over her facial features.

“Of course. Maia is part of our family, isn’t she? We always say so.” 

“She is! Principal Andrews said parents so I only thought you would come up, Daddy, but it’s way better with Maia here too. We’re a family.” Maisy says gently, warmth in each word as she processes what this means.

“We’re a family, Maise.” Maia repeats back before kissing the top of the little girl’s head and earning a giggle. Cale watches on as pure love makes his heart swell. This is all he’s wanted for so long. The girl of his dreams and his daughter. Life couldn’t be any better. 

And later, when they’re settled at their usual table at Proto’s for Maisy’s celebratory dinner and Maia hands over her gift which of course is a copy of “Maisy Goes To School”, her personal favorite of all the Maisy Mouse books and fitting for the occasion, Cale is hit with a realization. 

No matter what happens in his life going forward, he knows something now that he didn’t before. As long as he has these two, Maia and Maisy, everything will always be okay. And that is all he will ever need.

tagging some friends/mutuals who might be interested! @tonyspep​ @starshine-hockey-girl​ @kailyn-writes​ @rosesvioletshardy​ @sorryjustafangirl​ @laurenairay​ @miracleonice87​ @hockeyunits​ @stroopwaffle8​ @musiclove-12​ @eightmakar​ @ilyasorokinn​ @barzysreputation​ @broadstflyers​ @breezymichelle99​ @comphyjost​ @ya-pucking-nerd​ @jostystyles​ @ch-ristiane​ @beauvibaby​ @sourjoonie​ @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​ @itrocksmysocks​ @tysonjost-taylorsversion​ @boqvistsbabe​ @happer08​ @antoineroussel​ @tpwkstiles​ @hockeylvr59​ @2manytabsopen​ @senditcolton​ @equallyshaw​

[senditcolton]

The Movie of Us

summary: you broke up with Josh three years ago but he’s still haunting you. what do you do when the ghost from your past comes back?

prologue | epilogue word count: 21k warnings: alcohol, cursing, smut (but not explicit), and a whole lot of angst with a happy ending

SPRING

“He’s back in town, you know.”

You have to stop the tremor that threatens to run through you at Katie’s words. If she had noticed, you could always blame it on the rapidly cooling spring night. But even then, you knew she wouldn’t believe the lie.

She had been there. She knew why your shoulders tensed at the mere mention of him.

“So?” you reply, trying to relax back into the couch cushions on your back porch, taking another sip of your drink, eyes focused on the horizon.

“No reason. Just thought you might like to know.”

You glance over to her, the light breeze ruffling her hair as she blatantly ignores your gaze.

“Katie,” you say, your tone enough for her to direct her attention back to you.

“Babe, I’m  sorry but it’s been… what, three years?” Katie says, this time turning her entire body towards you.

“And I say again: so?”

An exasperated huff falls from Katie, a sound you were all too familiar with.

“You are as stubborn as he is.”

“Wait, you’ve talked to him?”

“Yes! I have. Is that a problem? He’s my friend too. Just because you can’t seem to forgive him, doesn’t mean I have to feel the same way.”

The silence that falls between the two of you is heavy, filled with accusations and mistrust. And you hated it.

You didn’t mean for your words to come out as harsh as they did. Didn’t mean for them to cause battle-lines to be drawn, forcing her to take a side. You knew that wasn’t fair.

But you didn’t have the heart to tell her this was how you were coping. It made you feel better, drawing lines, building walls, dissecting the part of you that still held onto him, deeming it as something malignant, something that needed to be cut off.

It was better than the nights you had spent lying in bed, analyzing the moments that the two of you had shared, trying to figure out what had changed between the first and last ‘I love you’.

“Have you tried just talking to him?” Katie asks, her voice softening.

This time, the sigh falls from you. You run your fingers over the rim of your cup, the smooth glass grounding you as your mind threatens to run back to those moments that you wish you could forget; late night talks, laughing under covers, the feeling of his hand tangled up in yours.

“I don’t think I could,” you whisper, “I’m sorry.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Katie shoot a small sympathetic smile in your direction.

“I’m sorry too. For snapping at you like that. I just think you need to… hell, I don’t know what you need to do.” Her sentence is punctuated with a slight laugh, causing your lips to curl up in response.

“Me neither,” you chuckle, lifting your glass to your lips as your eyes turn once more to the setting sun.

“How about a night out?”

Another glance back towards your best friend, meeting her bright eyes and wide smile. It’s contagious, being around her and her almost continuous positive attitude. Perhaps that’s why you two worked together her. You and your tendency for melancholy. Her and her propensity for joy.

“Why not?”

“Perfect! Just you, me, and a couple of friends?”

“Sounds good to me,” you reply, reclining back, eyes fluttering close as you breathe deeply, letting the spring air fill your lungs.

Completely ignorant to the mischievous glimmer behind Katie’s eyes as she pulls out her phone, finding the number connected to the four-letter name that you wish you could forget, and typing out a quick message.

Hey Josh! Me and a few friends are planning to go out for drinks this weekend. Want to tag along? Message sent Monday, April 20th at 7:53pm

Sure, just tell me when and where. Message received Monday, April 20th at 8:22pm

*~*~*~*

8 o’clock.

That was the time Katie said she would meet you at the bar. You were sure of it.

For what felt like the hundredth time that night, you pull out your phone, double-checking the text thread between the two of you. And yep. 8 o’clock.

You sigh, leaning back against the leather of the random booth you had claimed for your friends. Your friends who weren’t here yet. Your eyes wander around the room, glancing at the door, waiting for someone to walk in. Katie, Austin, Taylor, Delia… someone.

Again, your phone is removed from your pocket as you pull up your messages, ready to text Katie, asking where she was. But before you can even type out a single word, a voice dances over the noise of the bar.

“Is this seat taken?”

You feel your muscles tense underneath your skin at the sound. You knew that voice. You had heard it in your dreams or perhaps in your nightmares; you never quite knew how to define them when you woke up. But you remembered that every morning, you had prayed to forget that voice.

It never worked. He always came back to haunt you.

But he was just a ghost in your dreams. If you looked up now, he would become real again.

Don’t look up, your brain screamed at you, pleading. Unfortunately, your heart had already made the decision long before your mind did.

Your eyes flickered up. And there he stood.

He looked good. That was your first thought. He looked really good. His hair was a little longer than you remember, his shoulders broader. But he still had that same gentle smile. The same beautiful blue eyes.

“Hey,” he breathed out, the word almost sounding like a question instead of a greeting. You couldn’t quite find your own voice, your eyes simply continuing to travel across the contours of his face. If he notices, he doesn’t call you out on it. Instead, the smile remains as he lets you examine at him.

Finally, he clears his throat, snapping you out of your trance and you hate how you feel your cheeks heat in embarrassment.

“So, is this seat taken?” he chuckles lightly, gesturing to the empty space across from you. A quick shake of your head is the only reply you are able to give but it seems to be enough for Josh, as he sits down, the leather sighing underneath the weight of him.

And the silence settled with him. You weren’t quite sure how to describe it; tense would be the word that you would attach to it if you were asked. But even then, that wasn’t entirely accurate. Yes, there was a layer of hesitance, of trepidation. But there was also an undercurrent of familiarity. As if you hoped he would return to you. As if you had been waiting for him to walk back into your life, no matter how much you denied it.

“How have you been?” Josh asks, breaking the silence between you.

“Good,” you murmur. “You?”

“Pretty good,” he responds. And the silence falls again.

You can’t stop your eyes from ducking down, your fingers tapping a rhythm on the wooden tabletop, trying to fill the space with some form of noise, trying (and failing) to find comfort in the middle of all of this. Once again, it is Josh that speaks first.

“Are you waiting for someone?” he asks and you think that you hear a slight hint of concern in his voice, as if he was afraid you had moved on. That you were waiting for the person that had taken his place.

No, that was ridiculous. He was just being polite, not wanting to interrupt your night. Same sweet Josh Anderson. You wish you could hate him for it.

“Yeah,” you reply, perhaps letting the pause between your words linger a bit longer than necessary. “Just Katie and a few other friends. She said they’d be here at 8.”

“She told me that too,” he sighs, leaning back, his own eyes glancing towards the entrance. It takes a minute for his words to register but when they do, your eyes snap up to him.

“Wait, Katie invited you?”

“Yeah, she texted me saying that her and a few friends were going out and if I wanted to come too,” he explains smoothly, glancing back at you.

“Oh.” The single syllable falls from your lips without warning and when it does, you hope it is lost in the noise of the bar. You weren’t so lucky.

“Why?” Josh asks again, his eyebrows lifted in question.

“I just…” you begin, trying to string together a group of words that sounded believable. “I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all. Thought you might still be in Montreal.”

It was a lie. A blatant lie. But Josh didn’t need to know that.

“I got back about a week ago,” he tells you. You hum in response.

A part of you wished it was easier; talking to him. But the silence between you wasn’t just an empty nothingness. It was filled with memories: the good and the bad. And you weren’t sure which ones hurt more. You weren’t sure which ones were playing through Josh’s mind as the two of you sat there across from each other, in a bar that was all too familiar, in a town where you knew you could never escape him.

A small laugh falls from Josh and your eyes dart up to him once more. He’s reclined back into the booth, his arms lifting behind him and you have to stop yourself from watching the way his muscles flex.

“I actually haven’t been in this bar forever,” he says, his own gaze travelling over the memorabilia on the walls, the dark wood of the bar top, the old jukebox in the corner. “Do you remember that time after Taylor’s engagement when we all came and got them drunk.”

“Well, to be fair, if they hadn’t dated Austin for so long before finally getting engaged, they wouldn’t have had to take so many shots,” you reply, the memory tugging at the corner of your lips.

“Was that it? I thought it was one for every time they cried during the proposal?”

“I think it might have been a little bit of both.” Your smile grows wider at the sound of his laughter, the familiar trill of happiness running through you at the sound of it lifting over the chaos of the bar.

Both of your laughter dims but the smiles remain. Perhaps this could be easy. His blue eyes dart to you, his lips curled, his gaze gentle.

“Do you also remember after your high school graduation? You snuck out of your house and in my rental car. And we drove here in the pouring rain.”

And just like that, your smile falls. Because you did remember. But like all memories that involved him, it was one that you wished you were able to forget.

The downpour soaking through your shirt as you ran into the bar. The bartender pouring you and Josh a shot on the house. The two of you linking arms to down the tequila. Josh pulling you out to the empty floor, pulling up some ridiculous 80’s song. His arms wrapping around you, pulling you close to him.

“I really miss that,” you hear his voice sound again, pulling you out of that hazy daydream. He’s looking at you now, with those blue eyes that you had once thought you would wake up to every morning.

“Don’t.” Your voice comes out as a whisper; scared, wounded.

“I miss us.”

“Josh, please. Don’t.”

“Y/N…” Josh says, his voice pleading and you hate the way it cuts into you.

“Josh, stop. I can’t go down that road with you again.”

“Why not? It’s been three years.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? As if there’s some kind of time limit on my emotions. Remember that you were the one that ended things between us. Maybe that means it’s easier for you to remember the good moments and want them back. But you weren’t the one that was left in this town to try and pick up the pieces.”

Your chest is heaving when your words die, the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes despite how much you willed them away.

He didn’t deserve to see you cry over him.

“Y/N,” Josh begins and you can see his hand creeping across the table, reaching out to you. The bell above the door rings and your eyes dart to the noise where you see your friends walk in.

“There’s Katie,” you say, cutting off his attempt at reconnection before sliding out of the booth, your words the only explanation for your departure.

You stalk towards Katie and you can see the understanding register on her face when she sees you. You don’t say anything as you grab her arm, dragging her to an empty corner of the bar. Releasing your grip, you turn to her, your expression a mix of anger and betrayal.

“Listen, I can explain,” Katie attempts to start but you stop her with a raised hand.

“You set me up.”

“Yes, I did,” she resigns.

“Why?” you ask, the anger slowly giving way to hurt.

“I just thought… I don’t know,” she tries.

“I’m going to need something better than that.”

“It’s just – Y/N, you can’t keep locking people out and expect to heal. That’s not how it works,” Katie explains, her voice verging on desperate. “I thought that if you just managed to talk to him, you’d realize that.”

A heavy exhale leaves you, as you turn your gaze away from her and back towards the booth where you had left Josh sitting, watching as he catches up with Taylor and Austin.

“So, did you? Talk to him?” Katie asks from besides you. You give her a small affirmative nod. “What did he say?”

“He said he missed us,” you whisper.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you reply, turning your attention back to her. “I’m sorry Katie. I can’t do this tonight. I think I’m going to head home.”

You watch Katie’s face fall at you words, the defeated tone of your voice. In an eerily similar move to Josh, you see her hand reach out to you. Unlike with Josh, you willingly take it.

“I know you’re mad at me, even if you didn’t say it. And I’m sorry. I really want you to stay. But I won’t stop you if you think leaving is what’s best,” she says, her thumb smoothing over the back of your hand. Your head turns back towards Josh and you can feel the pang in your heart when you hear his laughter, so warm and familiar.

“I can’t stay.”

A soft squeeze of your hand pulls your attention back to Katie and she offers you a small smile. You let your lips curl in response and you don’t fight her when she pulls you into a gentle hug.

“Text me when you get home safe,” she whispers in your ear and you nod gently against her shoulder. She lets go, walking away from you as you head in the opposite direction. Bracing yourself against the weight of the door, you ready yourself to walk out and retreat to the comfort of your bedroom’s four walls. But before you do, you look back towards the booth where your friends sat.

And you immediately wished you hadn’t.

Because the instant you did, your eyes connected with his again. Ocean blue, the waves of sadness within in them reflecting back to you.

You pushed yourself out into the spring night before you drowned.

*~*~*~*

A pounding echoing around your skull rouses you from your slumber. You let out a soft groan, pulling the pillow over your head in an attempt to silence the noise and block out the late morning sun filtering through the window.

You didn’t sleep well at all, filling the night with tossing and turning instead of peaceful slumber. It didn’t help that every time you closed your eyes, you saw Josh.

Part of you thought you would’ve gotten used to him haunting you like this. But seeing him again just brought his ghost back with a vengeance instead. You could still feel the stabbing pain in your chest when you had woken up in the middle of the night, after dreaming of him. Just holding you close, his hands cradling you, hearing his steady heartbeat beneath your ear.

The gentle pounding that pulled you out of your listless sleep sounds again and you finally realize that it wasn’t your own body creating the racket, but someone knocking at your front door.

You stumble out of bed, not bothering to alter your appearance in any way. It was probably just the mailman. Or maybe it was Katie, coming over to apologize again.

The knocking resumes as you are shuffling towards the door, still soft but very insistent.

“I’m coming,” you call out, your fingers deftly undoing the locks and wrapping around the smooth metal handle. You swing the door open, your eyes finally lifting to meet the figure standing at your threshold. And there is no hiding your surprise when you come face to face with Josh.

“Um, hi,” he stutters out, his eyes quickly flicking downwards and you are suddenly hyperaware of your bare legs, your body only covered by a pair of shorts almost hidden underneath the soft cotton of your favorite oversized t-shirt.

“Hi,” you manage to say, straightening your posture; a guise of confidence. A short silence stretches out between the two of you as you simply look at each other, still unsure.

“Um,” Josh starts again, one hand reaching up to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. You notice the white bowl precariously balanced in his other hand, your brows furrowing in curiosity. “I just wanted to apologize about last night.”

“Oh,” you say softly.

“Yeah…” Josh replies to your quiet acknowledgement. “The more I thought about it, the more I realized that you were right. It wasn’t fair for me to ambush you like that.”

“I mean, technically it was Katie that kind of ambushed both of us.”

“No, I meant… me bringing up the past like that.”

“Oh,” you say again, no actual words coming to mind at his confession.

“Anyways, I – um – I brought you some strawberries from my mom’s garden,” he says, holding out the ceramic to you. You gently take the bowl from his hands, lifting the paper towel covering the top, the sweet scent of the fruit hitting you, a soft smile appearing on your lips.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies, returning your gentle smile.

The two of you stand there, on opposite sides of the threshold, tentative smiles being shared until Josh breaks the silence once again.

“Can I talk about something I said last night?” he asks, his voice soft and kind. You give a subtle nod, waiting for him to continue. You can see his chest rise in a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself to speak the next words.

“I mentioned that I missed us?” he says, the should-be statement being phrased as a question, one for you to acknowledge. You feel your stomach twist, that fear that always appeared when you were forced to confront the past rearing its head again. But in the back of your mind, you hear Katie’s words from last night; her advice about the futility of locking people out. You fight back against your concern, giving Josh another nod, urging for him to continue.

“I know that you maybe haven’t forgiven me for how I left. And I am truly sorry about that. But, when I say that I miss us, I don’t just mean us as a couple. I miss talking to you. I miss hanging out with you. I miss being your friend,” he explains. “So, I guess I’m just asking you if there’s a chance that we can be friends again? Maybe we can grab a coffee and just catch up.”

His request lingers in the air between you, as impermanent as the morning fog that sometimes came rolling in from Lake Ontario. You know that you could grasp it, turn it into something lasting. But you hesitate, that fear taking a hold of you again.

“Well, I was just planning on staying home, watch some movies,” you begin to say, your words tinged with rejection despite the fact that you weren’t entirely sure that was what you wanted.

“Oh, well,” Josh says, clearly picking up on your underlying tone. “I’ll just… leave you to it then.”

He starts to turn away, his face disappearing from your line of sight. And there it was: another moment, another choice. A chance for you to retreat back into the comfort of hiding, of leaving him and the past locked outside both your physical and emotional walls. To stay safe in the darkness of your self-made cage.

Instead, you take a step outside your open doorway, the sunlight falling on your skin.

“Josh,” you call out to him. He turns back to you and it’s clear that the hesitance coiled in his body is mirrored in yours. You take a deep breath, silencing that voice that told you to run away.

“You can stay and watch a movie with me. Help me eat all these strawberries. If you want to,” you say, praying that you sound causal enough, pleading for your heart to stop rattling against your ribcage.

But you can’t ignore the way it somersaults when a grin appears on his face. Can’t stop an identical smile from forming on yours.

“I’d love to,” he says.

Your only response is another subtle nod as you step back into your house, holding the door open for him. Josh hops over the threshold, kicking off his shoes and you pretend not to notice the way his eyes bounce around the room.

“Kitchen still in the same place?” he jokes and a soft chuckle falls from your lips as you nod. “Still have a steady supply of vanilla ice cream in the freezer?”

“Always,” you reply, passing him the bowl, and watching as he walks over the hardwood floor, down the familiar hallways, like he never really left.

A few moments later, you find yourselves sitting on the couch, bowls filled with ice cream and fruit, the quiet clinking of silverware against the ceramic the only noise accompanying the soundtrack of the movie playing on your screen.

And Josh stays on his side, feet resting on the cushions in front of him. And you stay on yours, your legs tucked underneath, blanket covering your skin.

And for the first time, the distance between the two of you doesn’t feel like an ocean that you can’t cross.

It just feels comfortable.

*~*~*~*

You weren’t exactly sure what had changed between you and Josh after that first day.

Yes, there were more casual conversations, catching each other up on your respective lives; your progressing career and his new life in Montreal, how your family just got a new dog and how his parents recently moved houses.

You hung out together more, both with friends and just the two of you. The first time the two of you went out with Katie and a few other friends, she had pulled you aside, bewildered but ecstatic. You explained that it was still new, that the two of you were still navigating this tentative friendship and slightly begged her not to make a big deal out of it. She promised she wouldn’t but you couldn’t ignore the looks she shot you every time she saw you and Josh talking.

But things were easier. You assumed that was the most important thing.

Of course, there were moments when things weren’t easy. Like when he would crack a joke that sounded so similar to the ones he used to tell you when you were upset just to see you smile again. Or when he would recline back on your couch and you had to fight the urge to curl up next to him.

But overall, it was nice having him back in your life.

You had missed him. And you could tell he had missed you.

It was another night out, at the same bar with the same friends as the first night you and Josh reconnected. But unlike that first night, you were having fun; dancing with Taylor and Delia, challenging Austin to darts and failing miserably, chirping Josh when he and Katie played pool causing him to mess up a few shots, giving Katie the win.

It was a good night, filled with a lot of laughter and a few too many drinks. You were sitting at the booth with Katie and Josh, not listening to their conversation, instead watching Taylor and Austin sway on the dance floor. You slightly register the sound of Katies voice, saying something about getting another drink but it’s muffled, the alcohol you had consumed making your body heavy and mind hazy. Your eyes gently flutter close, your body sagging to the side, falling until your weight rests against a solid body, head falling onto a broad shoulder.

“Y/N.” A quiet voice calls to you but you ignore it, snuggling deeper into the warmth of the body next to you. The next thing you feel is a hand on your thigh, gently shaking you until your eyes open. It’s only then do you realize that you were leaning against Josh.

You pull back, fighting the heat that crawled up your neck as you mumble out a quick apology, feeling embarrassed as if you were caught with a hand in the cookie jar. But Josh doesn’t seem to share your concern.

“I think it’s time to get you home,” Josh laughs, his easy-going smile never faltering. You pull your lips into a large pout, widening your eyes at him.

“No, c’mon,” you whine. “I’m awake, I swear! Just another hour. Please?” For additional measure, you activate your muscles, causing your bottom lip to quiver. You almost think it works when Josh lets out a heavy sigh, his eyes pulling away from you. But your hope is quickly dashed when his gaze returns to you, the smile still there but his eyes set in stone.

“Nope,” Josh says. “You’ve hit your limit; I know you have. Let’s get you home.”

Before you have another chance to argue, you see Josh pick up your purse from the table, slinging it over his shoulder and walking to the door, forcing you to follow him. You huff, stamping your feet on the hardwood floor beneath the booth before finally admitting defeat, scooting out of your seat and trailing close behind him. Josh looks back, the smile reappearing on his face when he sees that you’ve followed him. Holding the door open for you, he smirks when you pass by him in a huff.

“You’re no fun,” you complain to the almost empty parking lot, when you heard the bar door shut behind you. The only response you get is a soft chuckle and a hand placed on the small of your back as he starts to gently guide you.

You let Josh push you towards his truck, even accepting his hand to hop up into the cab. Watching as he circles the front, you sigh, leaning your head against the cool leather of the seats, your eyes fluttering shut. You wouldn’t admit it to Josh, but he was right. You had hit your limit a while ago but in the hubbub of the bar, it was easy to ignore it. Now, in the silence of the night, you could start to feel your head spinning. You weren’t completely gone, but you were pleasantly buzzed; buzzed enough to know you would wake up with a little regret come morning.

The rumble of the engine causes your eyes to open and you slide your eyes to the left, watching as Josh pulls out of the parking spot, his hands elegantly moving along the wheel. You are oddly captivated by the way his fingers wrap around the leather, the way his arms move and flex when he turns.

A clearing of the throat breaks you out of your reverie and your eyes pop up to Josh’s face, seeing him smirking at you and you once again have to fight off the heat that creeps up your neck to your cheeks. You adjust in your seat, forcing a scowl onto your face.

“The puppy dog eyes always work on you,” you grumble, turning your head to look out the window, pretending that you were still hurt over the fact that he dragged you out of the bar.

“Worked on me,” he playfully corrects, eyes reverting back to the road.

“Yeah, well, why don’t they work anymore?” you chirp back, directing your attention back to him, slightly leaning over the center console. “Am I not cute enough?”

He smiles softly, his eyes darting over to you.

“No, it’s not that,” he murmurs and there is something in his tone that makes you pause. He almost sounded… sad. You recline back into your seat, widening the gap between you and him, choosing to look at his profile illuminated by the passing lights. You didn’t like the feeling that had started to settle over the two of you; heavy and filled with unsaid words. You wanted the lightness and ease that used to be there.

“What if,” you begin, keeping your tone playful, “instead of puppy dog eyes, I got you an actual puppy?” A smile tugs at the corner of Josh’s lips as he glances back over to you.

“What, do you have one hidden in your purse?” You glance down at the small crossbody handbag resting on the carpeted floor, knowing that you could only fit your phone and wallet in there; maybe your sunglasses if you were lucky. And you knew Josh was aware of that fact as well.

“Perhaps…” you reply, trying not to acknowledge the sense of relief that rushed through you at the sound of a laugh rumbling from Josh’s chest. You respond with your own laughter, relaxing once more.

The quiet falls over the two of you again and you let it settle, turning to watch the dim lights of the city pass you by. Leaning your head against the cool glass, you lift your head up to the moon, shining bright in the night sky.

Something about it felt magical.

Your eyes wander over to driver’s seat once more and you catch Josh’s eyes already locked on you; dancing up and down your frame, curled up in his passenger seat, your face towards the moonlight.

A small smile appears on his lips when he catches your gaze, shy and sheepish and you respond with one of your own. The electricity thrums between the two of you and it feels so similar to all those nights in the past when he would drive you back home after curfew, sneaking you back into your bedroom and you would always leave him with a kiss filled with the promise of “see you tomorrow”.

You pull your eyes away from him, trying to banish those memories. That was then. This was now. There was nothing left to do but move on.

The engine rumbles to a stop beneath you and you snap out of your reverie to see your house right outside the window. Josh gets out and is by your side when you push open the passenger door. You hop down, the world swaying beneath your feet at your sudden movement and you can sense Josh move to your side, his hands reaching out towards you.

“I’m fine,” you say, playfully swatting his hands away. Josh doesn’t give you a verbal response, just a smirk and a small step back.

“I’ll walk you to the front at least, just in case you can’t unlock your door.” You can hear the teasing in his voice and you roll your eyes at his poking.

“I’m sure I will be just fine, thank you very much,” you shoot back, taking careful steps up your sidewalk. Josh doesn’t say anything but you can hear his own gentle footsteps following you until you reach your doorstep.

Your keys feel cumbersome in your hands as you fumble with the lock on the front door. Josh’s steady presence behind you makes you feel safer, even though you know intrinsically that he has a small smirk on his face as he watches you struggle.

“Shut up,” you mumble as you miss the keyhole for what felt like the hundredth time.

“I didn’t say anything,” Josh laughs.

“Yeah, but you were thinking it.” Another small chuckle is his response when you finally managed to fit your key into the lock. You stop the small cheer from escaping your throat, knowing Josh would likely tease you for that as well. Turning the key, you can barely hear the latch click unlock and you turn the doorknob. But it doesn’t budge. A small huff of annoyance escapes you.

“Damn door, sticking at the worst time,” you grumble underneath your breath, bracing your shoulder against the wood, planting your feet on the concrete patio. You turn the knob again and push with all your might against the door but if it moves at all, it’s an imperceptible amount. Another sigh escapes as you reposition your body, steeling yourself to try again.

“Oh, come on, you piece of –“ Your words fail you as the door swings open easily and you feel yourself falling. The tiniest shriek falls from your lips as you careen forward, readying yourself to crash onto your floor. But before your body hits the hardwood, you feel a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist, correcting your trajectory and lifting you over the small lip of your doorway.

The breaths were caught in your throat as you attempt to re-orient yourself to your now upright position, the adrenaline still pumping through you. You don’t quite register that someone is talking behind you until the arms still wrapped around your waist gently spin you around, bring you face-to-face with Josh.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asks and you might have been caught off-guard by the amount of anxiety in his voice if your head wasn’t already a jumbled mess. You glance up into his eyes, his pupils still dilated in worry. And maybe it was the combination of alcohol, tiredness, and adrenaline that caused your next action:

You started laughing.

Small giggles at first which slowly transformed into genuine laughter. You see Josh’s expression slowly morph from concern to confusion which simply makes you laugh harder. A small smile of disbelief appears on Josh’s face, a chuckle of his own escaping at your reaction.

“Can I ask what’s so funny?” he says, shaking his head lightly.

“I almost fell opening my door,” you manage to wheeze out between giggles. Your head falls forward, gently hitting the center of his chest, your eyelids fluttering close, your hand coming to rest on his chest. You can feel the vibration of another chuckle escaping him underneath your palm.

“What am I going to do about you?” he muses. It’s not a question that requires a response, but you feel obligated to give him an answer regardless. You lift your head off his chest, the remnants of your laughter still rumbling through you as your eyes open to meet his gaze again.

The instant you do, you feel the laughter die in the back of your throat.

Josh is looking down at you, that sweet smile on his face, his eyes soft. But it’s not just the fact that he’s staring at you, the moonlight filtering through your windows dancing over his skin. It’s how he’s looking at you.

Like he used to. Like he still loved you. As if nothing had changed between the two of you. Even though you both know that everything has.

Your own eyes gaze back at him, wide and wanting as you watch his expression change, the smile slowly fading as he registers the emotions playing on your face. You can still feel his hands still on your hips, feel them flex against you, fighting against the urge to pull you in to him. The familiar scent of his cologne floods your senses every time you attempt to steady your breathing and you hate how it feels like home to you.

A quiet whimper pulls itself from the back of your throat, the noise sounded more like a wounded animal than a human. Perhaps that was an accurate description of how you felt ever since he left; a scared creature, afraid and hurt.

But now he’s here and he’s not running away. Instead, he’s holding onto you like a lifeline and you can feel the thundering of his heart beneath the palm still resting on his chest.

Your hand trails up, dancing over his shoulder and finding it’s familiar spot on the nape of his neck, fingers sliding though his hair. His eyes close and you feel his fingers once again tighten against your waist. And it is in that moment that you realize that he might be just as scared as you were.

This time, it’s you who takes the leap.

You take a small step forward, pressing your body against his and hear his breathing hitch. Your hand pulls away from his neck, tracing across his jawline before disappearing from his skin as you reach up, brushing the long hairs that have fallen into his face, a subtle reminder of how many things have changed.

But when your hand glides down, sliding from his hair and coming to cup his cheek, the past doesn’t seem to matter.

Because he leans his face into your open palm as if your touch was the sunlight after a long winter.

Lifting your other hand up to cup his opposite cheek, you gently pull his head down towards you. Your thumbs caress the soft skin across his cheekbones and you watch as Josh’s eyes open, those blue irises almost swallowed by his pupils blown wide. You notice the way his eyes bounce from your eyes to your lips and back. There was no reason to call him out on it because you know yours were doing the same.

The two of you stand there, so close, breaths intermingling. Josh’s eyes squeeze shut and feel the shuddering exhale shake through him.

“We shouldn’t.”

His hushed whisper is a gunshot in the silence of the room. You can feel his words pierce you, cut through to your marrow.

“No, we shouldn’t,” you say, your words just as unsteady as his.

That was the truth. Both of you knew it. And yet, neither of you move. Trapped in the liminal space between the dream of what could’ve been and the reality of what truly was.

You watch as Josh’s eyes open once again, locking with yours and you can’t stop the pang in your heart when you see the pain lingering there. The ache of realization that you were partially responsible for its presence. He leans in and your eyes flutter close in response to his movements.

The whisper of his lips presses into the crown of your head. They linger there for a moment, still holding you until you feel him pull away; your hands falling from his face, his hands falling from you.

You want to reach out, to hold onto him and hold on to this moment. But you don’t. Instead, you stay there, your eyes closed, arms dangling limply at your side because as much as you want him to stay, you don’t want to see him leave. You don’t want to watch as his back disappears behind a closed door.

It isn’t until you hear the sound of a latch clicking into place do you open your eyes.

And come face to face with an empty room.  

*~*~*~*

The shifting sunlight filtering through your bedroom window was a glaring reminder that the day was slipping away from you. And with every hour that passed, your regret grew.

Or, perhaps, regret wasn’t the correct word.

You knew last night when you left the bar that you would regret the amount of alcohol you drank, knowing it would cause an ache in your skull. But what you didn’t plan on was waking up with an ache in your chest that was twice as large, twice as painful.

And the guilt? The shame? The – well, frankly, the bullshit that brought it on was a hurdle that you couldn’t quite figure out how to overcome.

Did you regret it? You weren’t sure. There was regret there, when you looked back over every moment of last night. But you didn’t know if you regretted the action or the outcome; letting him close or letting him go.

A humorless chuckle falls from your lips at the thought. If that didn’t sum up every fucking feeling that had thrummed through you ever since the night three years ago when you drove away from his house for what you thought would be the last time. And every feeling that appeared the moment you laid eyes on him again.

You picked up your cell phone from its place in the bedsheets next to you, turning it and lighting up the screen.

No messages. No word from Josh.

Was he feeling the same way, restless in his own bed? Did he feel the same things that you had felt last night, bathed in moonlight?

Did he actually want you the way you wanted him?

A heavy sigh pushes from your chest as your head spins with all the words left unsaid. Until, finally, something settles.

A small memory surfaces, a moment in your history that you never like to have cross your mind. The night of the breakup, standing in Josh’s garage as he tells you it’s over.

‘Our love lacks connection.’

You remembered that line he fed you, how it lingered even after the initial pain vanished. In the moment, you were confused by his words. How could your love lack connection when you two spent every moment fighting for a minute of time together?

Now you realize that wasn’t the connection he meant, that you both needed. You wanted to be together, yes. But it was more of an entanglement rather than a true connection. Both of you were so unsure of the future, of what each of you truly wanted. But you loved the idea of being together, staying wrapped up in each other, too much that you ignored the reality. Until that reality became too tough to ignore.

And now, after three years, did you know what you wanted?

Yes.

You wanted him.

The conviction of your thoughts slightly startles you. But instead of taking a step away from that uncomfortableness, you lean into the feeling, using it as fuel to influence your next actions. A steadying breath falls from you as you unlock your phone, pull up the number that had found it’s old home in your contacts a few short months ago.

Can I come over? Message sent Saturday, June 18th at 8:18pm

The message is fired off before you can give yourself a moment to overthink it, analyze every single letter and syllable. You wait, watch the continually setting sun dip below the horizon, before you feel your phone vibrate in your hand.

Sure. Out on the dock. Message received on Saturday, June 18th at 8:24pm

You force yourself not to dissect his reply. There were things you both needed to say. Things that simply could not be relayed over characters on a screen.

Instead, you lift yourself up off your bed, only bothering to brush your hair once before grabbing your keys.

The drive to Josh’s house feels like it takes an eternity and still, you are pulling up to his house all too soon. Slipping out of your car, you make your way to the backyard, silently pushing open the gate. You spy Josh sitting at the edge of the dock, propped up on his arms, his legs dangling over the edge, rippling the water. Slowly, you make your way towards the lake edge, the sound of crickets and frogs the only accompaniment to your gentle footsteps rustling through the grass.

The wood of the dock is warm beneath your bare feet, the lingering sun trapped within it. It calms you somewhat as you wander closer to Josh and closer to the conversation that you knew would change everything.

Finally, you reach the edge, sitting down next to him. You pull one of your knees up towards your chest, the other leg slipping into the cool lake water, the chill sending a welcome shock through your system. A reminder that this moment was real. And necessary.

If Josh heard you coming, he gave no acknowledgement. And even now, when you were close enough to watch each other breathe, he still doesn’t react. Just continues to stare out over the water of the lake, the lilac sky. Until, finally, he breaks the silence.

“You drove here without shoes on,” he muses.

“I needed to talk to you,” is your only reply, but an honest one at that.

“Okay.”

That’s all he gives you, a single word. But you don’t blame him. Even you didn’t know exactly where to start. But you decide that maybe the best place to start… was at the beginning.

“Remember what you said to me, that night in April? When we saw each other again? How you said that you missed us?” You pause, waiting for some kind of response from Josh.

“I remember,” Josh replies in the gentlest of voices.

“I guess, I’m just wondering…” You fumble over your words, trying to string your thoughts together. Josh hears your hesitation and he directs his gaze over to you. In the fading light, you can see those gentle blue eyes cutting through you in the softest way.

“Do you still miss us? Like that?”

The question crawls from your mouth almost unwillingly, once again wanting to hide from the potential pain that it could bring. But you needed to say it. And needed to hear it from his lips.

You watch the question wash over Josh, watch as it registers in his eyes. He turns away from you, looking back at the forest lining the edge of the water.

“Why are you asking me this?” His voice dances over the still water, delicate as dragonfly wings.

“I thought that it might be obvious. Considering last night,” you mumble into the skin pulled taut over your knee. Josh sits up, turning his entire body to face you, the quiet sloshing of the lake highlighting his movements.

“I can’t read your mind,” Josh says. “I never could. Not last night, not the month before that, and not three years ago. If I could then�� maybe things could’ve been different.”

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, your voice just as fragile as his.

“Last night… it just seemed like…”

“Like what?”

“Like maybe you still wanted me.”

His words linger, hanging over the two of you. The silence that stretches between you seems as unnavigable as the ocean, forcing the distance to extend. Unless you reach out to him. A lifeline in the waves. A lantern in the dark.

“I do. Want you.” You let your confession sit, let Josh hear it, understand it, process it, before you continue. “And I suppose I’m asking you if you miss us because last night, I felt like maybe you still wanted me too.”

Your focus turns back to Josh, your eyes never leaving his face. You are captivated by every subtle shift in his expression; perhaps preparing yourself for the worse, maybe hoping for the best. Readying yourself for whatever words he uttered.

Always trying to beat him to the punch.

But when those indigo eyes connect with yours, the barely perceptible upward curve tugging at his lips, you can’t stop your traitorous heart from leaping.

“I do.”

You don’t have to ask him to what was he responding. I do want you. I do miss us, like that. It didn’t really matter anyway.

The shy smile creeps over your features, one that Josh responds to with a smile of his own. The tension between you vanishes, the choppy waves of the ocean receding until they were as soft as the ripples of the lake caressing your skin.

“Can I ask you one more thing?” Josh asks, his hand moving to run through his hair, a nervous tick you were all too familiar with. You lift your chin off of your knee, turning and opening yourself up to him before nodding. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? That you felt that way?”

You sigh, breaking his gaze as you comb through your thoughts, trying to find the exact reason why you kept your feelings a secret from him, hidden in the dark until they were forced into the light.

“There were so many moments when I wanted to tell you,” you begin, remembering all those moments when your memories hit you and made you ache. “But I spent so much time denying it, trying to leave those feelings in the past where I thought they belonged. Because I thought it was better that way. And because the friendship that we had rebuilt was too good to risk.”

You pause, gathering your fears and anxieties and sorting them into the words your heart had been screaming since the moment you laid eyes on him that April night.

“Part of me missed you too much to lose you again,” you say, glancing back at him. Another small smile dances on Josh’s face, giving you the courage to continue. “I don’t want to swallow my words anymore. I miss you. I miss us. And I want that back. But only if you want that too.”

Josh doesn’t respond, letting another silence cover the two of you. It is a stillness, a quiet that was both filled with possibilities and yet comfortable in its nothingness.

Josh reaches out to you, his palm open and empty. You feel as his knuckles graze over the skin of your leg as his hand stretches out towards your own, settled in your lap. He coaxes your hand into his, fingers intertwining.

You could say that there was a surge of electricity, or butterflies, or sparks, or any other cliché associated with love when your hand settled in his. But that wasn’t the case.

Instead, the feeling that came over you was a serenity, a calm.

His hand clasped in yours felt like coming home.

*~*~*~*

SUMMER

You were going on a date.

Every time that sentence raced through your head, it still sent a small thrill down your spine. You were going on a date. With Josh. Something you had done a hundred times before. Something you hadn’t done in three years.

The dichotomy still fought against each other if you thought too hard about it. Dating Josh. It was everything: new yet familiar, nerve-wracking but casual, scary yet comfortable. You tried your hardest not to let the conflict consume you but as the hours passed, it was clear that ignoring it wasn’t as easy as you wanted it to be.

You were nervous. The clothes scattered around your bedroom floor and the hole you were threatening to wear into the wooden floors of your foyer were evidence of that.

Whatever the tangled mess of feelings you had swirling around in your skull were, it had you changing your outfit at least 20 times. It had you triple checking your text messages from Josh, just to confirm when he said he would pick you up for probably the hundredth time. It had you pacing back and forth, glancing out the window at the sound of every car that drove down your street.

Finally, when you pulled back the soft gauzy curtains from your front window, you see Josh’s familiar red pickup truck idling up to rest in front of your driveway. You quickly grab your keys, shoving them into your purse before bounding out the door and down the sidewalk, still unsure of the exact emotion that was driving your energy.

“Hey,” you say breathlessly as you swing open the door, climbing up into the comfortable passenger seat, and quickly buckling your seatbelt before glancing over at Josh. The anxiety gnawing in your chest relaxes as you see his smile.

“Hi to you too. Are you ready for this?”

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to be ready for?”

“The best first date of your life.”

“Does this really count as our first date? Considering…” you trail off, not sure if bringing up the past was the best idea at the beginning of something new. But Josh doesn’t balk at your words. Instead, he shoots you that easy-going smile, the one that always made you feel safe.

“I guess it all depends,” he shrugs, pulling off the parking brake before rolling down your street.

“On?”

“Whether you like this one better than the other.”

You laugh, once again thankful for his light-hearted attitude easing your concerns.

“Those are bold words Joshua,” you tease, curling up in your seat as the car picks up speed. “I expect to be wooed.”

“Wooing is my middle name,” he laughs.

“We both know that’s not true.”

Another chuckle falls from Josh’s lips and you relax into the twilight, turning to watch the neighborhood pass you by. Josh had the windows rolled down, letting the summer air create a comfortable breeze that rushed through the car, ruffling your hair. You lean back into the passenger seat, observing the soft glow of the skyline before glancing back at Josh.

Maybe you were over-thinking everything. Because he was there, cool and calm in the driver’s seat, the wind fluttering his hair ever so softly, constantly making him run his hands through the chocolate strands, absentmindedly making you want him even more.

Josh notices your staring, his eyes darting back to you with a grin. You smile back and for the first time, the heat doesn’t rise to your cheeks in embarrassment. It was as if that wall that had existed between the two of you had come crumbling down ever since that night on the dock.

Another quick glance out of the window, you see the gentle lights of the city sparkling in the early night.

“Downtown, huh?” you ask, glancing back towards Josh. “Where are we going?”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Josh replies with a sly smirk, right before he easily slides his truck up next to the sidewalk. Your head quickly spins around to look out the window and the smile that was on your face only grew wider when you saw the blue awnings and the multicolored Adirondack chairs sitting outside the small ice cream shop.

There a laugh and even a small reminiscing sigh as you watch the groups of friends and family, hanging out. The memories grow bigger when you even spy some kids wearing Eagles hockey jerseys.

“God, I remember this place. Do you remember that time we came here after you lost one of your baby teeth on the ice?”

“Yes!” Josh laughs, hopping out of the truck and coming up to your side, politely extending a hand to help you down from the cab. “I think my parents were mortified that I insisted on coming here with blood still on my jersey.”

“It was kind of jarring but I think if you showed up with a bloody rag next to your mouth in street clothes, that would be even weirder. The hockey jersey definitely helped explain a few things,” you tease. Josh chuckles as he pulls open the door for you, the bell above the shop ringing as you walked in.

The two of you fall into place in line and you browse the familiar, barely-changed chalkboard menu. Josh comes to stand right next to you, his forearm lightly touching yours and you can feel the miniscule space between your skin. You want to take his hand in yours. But something stops you.

Perhaps the wall between the two of you hadn’t disappeared. Perhaps it was just… opaque.

Fortunately, Josh doesn’t seem to feel the same way and your heart skips a beat when his hand slides against yours, fingers slotting in between your own as the two of you waltz up to the countertop. You order your traditional two scoops of rocky road and Josh orders his, the two of you just as easily walk out of the shop, hand-in-hand. He doesn’t release your grasp until you make it back to his truck, unlatching the tailgate and the two of you hop up, sitting in the cool air, the hustle and bustle of downtown in the summer hitting your eardrums.

“Do you know what other memory I like?” Josh asks. You turn to him, spoon halfway out of your mouth, only able to respond with a small hum. He doesn’t mind; just grins at your actions and carries on with his train of thought.

“2010.”

It’s your turn to smile at him. That was all he had to say: one year and you knew exactly what he was talking about.

It was the night after the Ontario Hockey League Entry Draft. Even though you and Josh were still just friends back then, you had kept tabs on the proceedings. And you were dismayed when you learned that Josh had been passed over by every single team.

He had actually texted you, the message short and simple, asking if you could meet him at the ice cream shop. You gladly found your way there and you sat with him; just sat there and listened. Let him talk, let him sit in silence, let him rant, even let him cry.

You could confidently pinpoint that as a pivotal moment in your relationship. A moment where the idea of being something more than friends had crossed both of your minds.

“That was a nice night,” you muse, taking another bite of your dessert.

“Yes. It was.”

You glance back at him, leaning back, one arm supporting him. He looks so relaxed, so casual and easy going. That’s how he was around you and it made you feel good. You just wish that his temperament could make you feel just as at ease as him.

But this – going from friends to something more for the second time in your life – it wasn’t simple. You felt as if you were tiptoeing around intimacy with him. Wanting that closeness, that connection, that ease. But what were you supposed to do with all this baggage and fear that you carried with you from the past?

How could you possibly do this?

“You’re thinking too much.” Josh’s gentle voice pulls your from your restless contemplation. Your eyes drift up to his, the gentle shine of them reflecting back onto you.

“I thought you said you couldn’t read my mind?” you joke, trying to brush off his concern.

“I can’t. But I’ve been around you long enough to know when you’re stuck in your head,” Josh explains, never looking away, confronting you with his honesty. “Talk to me. It’s just me. Same me as always.”

“That’s the problem,” you say and you see his eyebrows furrow at your words. “It’s you and it’s me. We’ve been here before. And every time I look at you and think about this and think about us now, I can’t help but think about us back then.”

“And… that’s a bad thing?”

“I… I don’t know if it is or not,” you sigh out.

“Then, just don’t think. Just do whatever feels natural. Whatever feels good. And remember: it’s me. There’s nothing you could do that would make me want you less.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“Not even if I told you I’m going to become a Boston Bruins fan?”

“Well…” Josh extends, causing a laugh to fall from your lips, a bigger smile coming onto his. Just like that a weight was lifted up off your shoulders.

As the conversation continues, you attempt to take Josh’s advice. You try and let it go. Let go of all your fears and your ghosts, including the ones that look like him. You relax, just letting your body do what it wants. Let your heart guide you.

And when your head comes to rest against Josh’s shoulder, you feel his arm wrap around your waist and sigh contentedly.

“There she is. I missed you.”

*~*~*~*

“Ow, shit.”

You quietly curse under your breath as the flame from your matchstick hits the tips of your fingers. You flick your wrist, extinguishing the light as you raise yourself up from over the patio table. Thankfully, you see the wick of the citronella ignite and you hum happily.

Josh was going to be arriving at your house soon for a romantic dinner and you wanted things to be perfect or at least as close to perfect as possible. You re-enter your kitchen and before you know it, you hear a firm but gentle knock.

Jogging up to your front door, you swing it open, smiling when your eyes immediately land on Josh’s smiling face.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Hey gorgeous,” you respond, your compliment widening Josh’s grin. Your gaze falls down to the colorful bouquet of flowers and pitcher of sangria in his hands. Josh follows your gaze and blushes, holding out the items to you.

“Oh, these are for you.”

“Thank you so much,” you say, graciously accepting them. “I’ll put these in some water and add them to our table,” you explain, gently shaking the blooms.

“Wait, what am I doing? Let me take those back and I’ll put them in water,” Josh replies, taking the flowers from your hands.

“Okay. Thank you again. There’s a vase in the cabinet above the refrigerator,” you explain, walking back into your house, the sangria in your hands, Josh following close behind. The two of you enter the kitchen and find yourself falling into an easy rhythm: you placing the finishing touches on dinner and Josh cutting and arranging the flowers. It’s an easy silence that is only broken when Josh sees you pull dinner from the oven.

“Did you make pizza?”

“Yes I did,” you sing-song, proudly placing the pan onto the counter to cool.

“You are amazing. I feel like I could kiss you right now.”

His words still your movements for a moment, pausing as you look at him with a nervous smile on your face. He continues to prepare the flowers, still completely casual, as if he was ignorant to the words he just said. You bite your lips, trying to stop the heat from rising to your cheeks and let the words slide, finishing up your dish before leading him to the backyard.

After Josh pours your drinks and the two of you settle into your seats, the conversation begins and continues easily. It’s light and playful and even a bit flirty which makes the smile never leave your face, happy that the natural ease that defined your relationship has lasted. The breeze from the lake helps to keep the two of you cool, the flowers and candles adding a natural touch of romance. Even the soft music playing from the speaker perched on the railing helps make the evening feel like something out of a movie.

The shadows grew longer as the candles grew shorter and dinner was consumed. You and Josh were left leaning back in your seats, nursing the remainder of your sangria, relaxing and reminiscing. Suddenly, Josh pauses, his head tilting as he listens to the guitar chords now echoing through the evening.

Before you have the chance to register exactly what was happening, Josh pushes up from his seat and wanders over to you.

“Dance with me,” he asks, holding his hand to you.

“What?”

“Dance with me,” Josh repeats, locked in his position, patiently waiting for your response. You are beyond bewildered, unsure exactly where this was going and not entirely sure what his plan was.

But this was Josh. Your Josh: as soft as summer and as gentle as the setting sun.

He stands above you, his palm empty and inviting. Your head ducks down, the soft smile playing on your lips before you reach up and place your hand in his.

Josh pulls you out into the yard, the last rays of the sun painting the sky in beautiful pastel colors. Guiding you into a gentle spin underneath his arm, you feel his hand fall into place on the small of your back. You reach up and let your hand rest on his shoulder, delicate and featherlight. Josh leads your movements, the two of you swaying barefoot in the grass.

You are still somewhat hesitant, not wanting to completely fall into the warmth of the season, the warmth of him.

‘It’s just him,’ your mind tells you, repeating the words he told you on your first date. ‘Let it go.’

You lean your head against his chest and you can hear the steadfast beat of his heart. Josh pulls you closer, his arm tightening around your waist. Finally, your realize what song is playing, falling from the stereo.

When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive…

You chuckle lightly under your breath, but since you are so close to Josh, he not only hears it, but feels your body shake.

“What is it?” he asks.

“It’s our old song,” you say, a whisper of laughter coming from your lips. Josh pauses, taking a moment to listen to the lyrics and you can hear a quiet hum come from him. He holds you close, his lips falling to the crown of your head and it’s a moment before you hear him murmur into your hair.

“Maybe it can be ours again.”

*~*~*~*

Tonight, was a great night. What had started as a casual date with Josh slowly turned into one of the best nights you’ve had. He had come over after dinner and the two of you had spent your time relaxing, passing the time.

The night was filled with all the things you loved: board and card games which slowly devolved into you and him trying to sabotage each other, your competitive streaks coming out. A bowl of popcorn settled in between the two of you that you convinced Josh to load with salt and butter, persuading him that it could count towards his cheat meal.

And when the two of you had finally tired, the day catching up to you, you found yourself curled up next to him on the sofa, slotted comfortably under his arms. A movie that you had seen a thousand times was playing on your television and a light blanket is thrown over the two of you, just adding to the warmth of this moment.

It was worlds away from that day in April; the two of you staying firmly on opposite sides of the couch. And you were happy that the transition between then and now had been decently seamless.

But since the romance between you was still new, you were thankful for this night. You were still trying to find your way back to each other and this night created a peaceful break from the complexity of your lives and gave you a solitary moment where you and Josh could just… be.

You feel yourself nodding off, your head falling onto his shoulder and your eyelids fluttering close. You pull yourself deeper into his side and you can feel Josh leaning back, creating more of a recline for you to rest on.

If anyone would have asked, this was a perfect moment for you. And you never wanted to move.

You weren’t sure exactly how much time had passed but soon, you feel someone lightly shaking your body, pulling you back to reality. Bleary with sleep, your eyes open and notice that the movie was over, credits rolling across the screen. You look up to see Josh smiling down at you and you couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on your lips at the sight of him, his facial features highlighted by the soft glow of the  lamplight.

“Hey darling,” he whispers, his hand caressing your arm. “It’s time to get you to bed.”

You hum in agreement, slowly unfurling your body, the muscles in your legs slightly protesting as you lift yourself off the cushion. You raise your arms, stretching out your back, hoping that you can wake yourself up enough to wander to the bedroom and fall asleep underneath your sheets.

You watch as Josh folds your blanket, tossing it over back of the couch before a hand comes to rest on the small of your back, helping to guide you down the hallways, a quiet laugh echoing at your sluggish movements.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you grumble as he swings open the bedroom door. Your protests fall on deaf ears when you flop down, face first onto your mattress and rest there for a moment before gripping the edge of your blankets and burrowing underneath the soft fabric.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says, another chuckle escaping him. He wanders over to your bed, that gentle smile barely visible from the moon filtering through your windows. Leaning down with one hand resting on the mattress, your eye close as he presses his lips onto your forehead, a gentle parting kiss.

“Sleep tight,” Josh says, his departing weight making a small part of your chest ache. He turns away and you hear his soft footsteps retreating. The light from the rest of your house peeks into your bedroom as he opens the door, preparing to leave.

“Hey, Josh,” you call softly, the sound of your voice forcing him to turn around glance back at you. “You – you can stay the night. If you want to. With me.”

Your words come out staccato, your voice sticking in your throat, that fear wishing that you had swallowed your words. But you are thankful that you didn’t because in the dim light, you can see a smile appear on his face.

“Sure,” he says. “Just let me turn off your lights and I’ll be right back.”

You hum your acknowledgement, nestling into your bedding as Josh disappears behind the door. You hear him move around the house, watch as the light underneath the door slowly fades. Before you know it, Josh sneaks back into your bedroom and you lift up the sheets, a small giggle escaping you as he happily bounds over, lifting himself up onto your mattress. You awkwardly throw the blanket over his body as he gets comfortable, adjusting your pillows to his liking.

After a few moments of rearranging your bodies, finding a position that worked for both of you, you snuggled into soft sheets, the weight of Josh’s body next to you and his arm thrown over you warm and welcoming.

“Goodnight,” you mumble as you press your body closer to him.

“Goodnight, darling.”

*~*~*~*

July 1st. Canada Day. And the day of Delia’s annual barbeque at her house. It was a day that you had always looked forward to every single year and this year was no different. Except for one thing: Josh.

Not that you didn’t want him there. But because the idea of him there with your group of friends while you two were still working your way back to each other was… complicated.

Did you tell your friends that you were dating again? When they had all been there for the aftermath of your previous relationship? Did you want to give them that false hope and erase any lines that were drawn, only to potentially draw them once again if the two of you ended?

These thoughts were racing through your mind as you once again found yourself sitting in the passenger seat of Josh’s truck as he drove down to Delia’s house.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Josh asks, bringing you back to reality.

“Just about… us.”

“What about us?” You sigh, tearing your eyes away from the window and adjusting your body in your seat to face him more directly.

“Do you want to tell our friends about us? That we’re dating again?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe, maybe not. I just don’t know if it would be awkward,” you explain, the entire prospect of the day starting to tire you. “Would you mind if we didn’t tell anyone? Or at least not outright? Like, we wouldn’t act any different towards each other but also maybe not be super obvious about it? If that makes any sense.”

“I got you. And… I think I’m okay with that,” Josh says, his voice remaining casual. Your eyebrows scrunch, slightly taken aback by his laissez faire attitude.

“Are you sure?”

“Babe, whatever you want, I’m cool with. I’m letting you take the lead here, promise.”

“Okay,” you reply quietly. “Let’s just keep you and I on the down low. Since this is the first time we’ll hang out with friends.”

“Sounds good,” Josh responds. You are ready to let the conversation go and prepare yourself for this party but before you can, Josh reaches out and grabs your hand, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. “Although, I’m not sure I can keep my hands off of you that long.”

You laugh, your own fingers caressing the rough skin on his palms. The two of you continue the rest of the drive hand-in-hand and in comfortable silence. It isn’t long until you’re pulling up outside Delia’s front door, finding a place along the already crowded street. Josh sneakily places a soft kiss on the back of your hand before you are both slipping out of the truck and entering the party.

It's already in full swing and as you and Josh weave through the crowd, Josh very quickly gets stopped by the people who still hadn’t had a chance to see him and catch up with him. You shoot him a gentle smile before he vanishes from your sight as you continue forward, moving into the kitchen. You spy Katie leaning against the counter, a beer in her hand. She smiles as soon as she sees you, immediately pulling you into a hug as soon as you were close enough.

“Hey! How have you been? I feel like I haven’t heard from you in forever,” she exclaims.

“Katie, I texted you, like, a day ago,” you laugh, loving her tendency to overexaggerate.

“Yeah, but that’s still not enough,” she replies, playfully rolling her eyes, her body resting back onto the countertop. “How did you get here? Did you drive?”

“No, Josh gave me a ride,” you explain and she hums in acknowledgement.

“I don’t want to risk crossing a line or anything like that but I’m really glad that you guys are such close friends again.” You grin, a laugh threatening to fall from you lips at her words.

“I am too,” you reply, the smile remaining on your face. But god, if only she knew.

Eventually Katie waltzes away, giving you a chance to really take in the party around you. Friends, neighbors, everyone gathered together laughing and talking and it makes you happy. Happy to know that you have a place surrounded by people who cared about you and loved you. Happy to know that despite all the hardships that you had gone through, there was a place where you belonged.

You are so lost in your thoughts that you don’t notice Josh walk up next to you until the cold glass of a beer bottle nudges your arm. You startle at the sudden chill but relax when you see him grinning down at you.

“You read my mind,” you laugh, gladly taking the bottle from his hands.

“So,” Josh begins, leaning against the counter and perusing the party along with you. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll kick your ass in cornhole,” you quickly reply, a devilish smirk appearing on your face as you walk backwards towards the backyard.

“Oh, really?” he laughs, lifting himself up as you turn and run outside giggling, Josh close on your heels.

The day passed, the sun trekking across the sky and you swore it was one of the best days you’ve had. Something about being surrounded by your friends, laughing and joking and enjoying each other’s company made a certain kind of peace settle inside you. Not to mention the fact that Josh was there.

The two of you kept up appearances, never being too flirty, always tiptoeing that line. But damn, was it difficult more difficult than you thought it would be. Every so often, you would catch his eye from across the yard and it took everything in you not to run up to him and wrap your arms around him, have him pull you close. But still, he was always there and just that knowledge that he was yours again made the smile you wore remain, even as the evening crept in.

You watch from the edge of the party as your friends laugh out on the large dock, the sun falling from the sky, bathing the entire scene in gold. The moment felt perfect: your hair still wet from when you jumped into the lake, the cold bottle of beer in your hand. It was great to be here, but there was still a gnawing guilt in your stomach at the fact that you had been lying to all of your friends the entire day.

Well, not exactly lying. But you hadn’t told them the truth either.

You sigh, wandering away from the hubbub, towards the large tree swing that you knew Delia invested in and installed when she first moved in. You loved it, swearing that every time you visited, you and her spent more time out here than any other place in her house. It was slightly secluded and had the perfect view of the lakeside. Not to mention the fact that you loved to gently rock back and forth, the feeling of the warm wood on the back of your thighs and the roughness of the rope in your palms.

“Y/N,” you hear Josh’s quiet voice behind you and you look back to see Josh walking towards you, his curls more defined from his swimming, the cotton of his shirt clinging to his still damp skin. “What are you doing back here?”

You only give a small shrug in reply, turning back to look at the horizon. You can hear his feet walking over the uneven terrain and you feel his body behind you, gripping the rope above you and gently pushing you forward. A laugh escapes you as Josh continues to move you forward, the entire scene feeling peaceful. Josh slows your momentum just enough to walk around the swing and stand in front of you, a few feet away.

“Hey, seriously, are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine. Just a little weird, being out there with everyone and keeping this – us – from them. Even though I was the one that decided not to tell them,” you explain, continuing your gentle rocking while looking down at the ground, your sandals messing with the dirt beneath you. The heel catches on a tree root, knocking the shoe off of your foot.

You freeze yourself at the crest of the hill, watching as Josh kneels down and picks up your shoe from the ground. He turns the shoe in his hands a few times as if he’s contemplating something.

“Do you want to tell them?” Your eyes find his, the gentle question flickering in your pupils from his words.

“What, like right now?”

“If you want,” he replies, his voice still casual, once again letting you make the final decision.

“Nah, that seems a little weird,” you laugh, trying to mimic his light-hearted personality. “Besides, how would we do that? Just walk up and say ‘hey guys, we’re dating’?”

“Are looking for something grander?” he jokes, his grin obvious even in the dying light.

“What did you have in mind,” your teasing voice matching your cheeky eyebrow raise.

“How about a kiss?”

Your heart skips a small beat at his words, a sharp tilt of your head in question. He grins at you, slowly lowering himself onto one knee, his shoe still in your hands. He raises an eyebrow as a dare, a challenge. One that, after a moment, you gladly accept.

You gently let yourself swing forward towards him, his hand lifting to stop your movement. A giggle falls from you as Josh delicately slips the sandal onto your foot as he keeps the swing steady, keeping you perched above him. Your laughter falters as you feel his hand trail up the back of your bare leg, light and delicate before coming to rest over your knee, the warmth of his palm outstretched over your skin causing a small tremor to rush through you.

Your breathing changes when he finally looks up at you, his eyes bright and you impulsively bite your lips in anticipation. It feels as if time in moving in slow motion as you watch his body stretch up, his face moving closer to yours until your lips finally connect.

The kiss is featherlight, almost hesitant at first. Quick and then gone again as the two of you pull away, eyes connecting once more. There is a pause as you evaluate each other, waiting. For what, you aren’t sure. But in what feels like less than a minute, something clicks.

Neither of you know who makes the first move but it doesn’t seem to matter because the two of reach out, desperate as you pull the other closer: your hands tangling in his hair and his grasping at your waist. Your eyes close not wanting to open them again and discover that this was all some sick fantasy, fueled by alcohol and sunshine.

But when you feel the gentle curve of his smile against you, it isn’t a dream.

No dream could feel as good as this one.

Even with the sound of fireworks and cheers echoing across the lake from the party still happening mere feet away from you.  

*~*~*~*

“So, where the hell are we going again?” you laugh, turning your head to look over at Josh as he continues to drive you outside of town, the shimmering building lights disappearing faster and faster behind you.

“I told you, it’s a surprise,” he laughs, not even looking over at you.

“And I told you, I don’t like that answer. It’s late at night, you’re driving me out into what seems like the middle of nowhere. I mean, this feels like it should be at the beginning of a horror movie,” you joke and you’re happy when you hear another chuckle come from Josh.

“I promise I’m not going to take you out into the woods to axe murder you.”

“That’s exactly what an axe murderer would say.”

The two of you laugh before falling into silence as Josh continues to drive you down winding roads, bringing you further and further into uncharted territory. You glance around, trying to figure out exactly what his plan was. But he was, quite literally, taking you to the middle of nowhere.

Finally, he turns into a large flat area and parks his truck squarely in the center. You look at him, the question still bouncing around in your eyes.

“Wait here,” he says, hopping out of the truck and you watch as he grabs a bag from the backseat, circling around to the back. You try to peer through the small window behind you to see what he is doing. Unfortunately, the only thing you can register is flickering of lights and the feeling of Josh hopping in and out of the bed of the truck. Finally, Josh appears next to your door, opening it for you and helping you out.

“Okay, are you ready?” he asks taking your hand in his. You are still hesitant but you give him a nod and finally, he leads you towards the back of the truck. You walk over the packed down dirt until you finally reach the open tailgate. And there is no stopping the surprised gasp that escapes you when you see what he prepared.

The bed of the truck is filled with what seems like every pillow and blanket that Josh could find, small camping lanterns in each corner, creating a beautiful comfortable oasis. You look over to him, your eyes wide with disbelief and he just smiles down at you. He holds out a hand, helping you hop up into the back of the truck and you laugh as you climb across the blankets, rolling over onto your back in contentment.

Josh climbs up next to you and you stare at the sky.

“Oh, look at the moon. This is beautiful,” you sigh, turning your head to look at him.

“Actually, the moon is about to disappear,” he says, smiling when he watches the flash of confusion cross your face. “There’s a lunar eclipse tonight and I thought we could lay back and watch the stars.”

“That’s – that sound perfect!” Josh smiles at your excitement and you lean back, reclining against the pillows. “When is it supposed to start?”

“In about…” Josh begins, pulling out his phone. “Oh, in about 10 minutes.”

You watch as Josh crawls around, quickly switching off the lanterns, plunging the two of you into darkness. You can’t even imagine how many more stars you could possibly see. Already being out here with such little light pollution has made more stars show up in the sky than you even existed.

But as you watch the moon slowly disappear, hidden from the sun’s light by the earth’s shadow, it seems as if the sky explodes. So many colors, so many stars, the entire sky alight with the glitter of the universe. You swear you can see entire galaxies.

You lay back, your eyes darting around the sky, the comforting presence of Josh next to you, his hand intertwined with yours.

“Do you like it?” Josh asks, his head turning to look at you, his soft curls flowing across the pillow. You gasp, your eyes still bouncing around in an attempt trying to take everything in.

“This is… probably the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” you confess, finally pulling your eyes away from the stars in the sky and connecting with the stars in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says.

“No, seriously, thank you,” you emphasize, the smile wide. Josh doesn’t reply and you take the opportunity to lean in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Josh wastes absolutely no time, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. You let him, happily wrapping your arms around him, one of your hands tangling into his hair. The kisses get more and more passionate, desperate, handsy. There is a small groan as he grips you tight, one of his legs slotting in between yours, guiding your body, his large frame coming to cover you.

You break the kiss, taking a few moments to catch your breath, Josh doing the same above you. Realizing exactly where you were, a memory comes bounding back into your mind and you can’t stop the giggle that falls from your lips. You can see the outline of Josh’s head tilt in confusion.

“This is a far cry from the backseat of your old car,” you explain and you can feel the chuckle rumble through him as he recalls the same memory. There wasn’t a whole lot of privacy when you two were teenagers, especially when Josh’s visits became few in between. Oftentimes, the back of his car was one of the only places where the two of you could be alone.

“A very far cry,” he replies, ducking down to kiss you once more. You let him kiss you more, his hands still wandering up and down your body. You can feel his hands dip underneath the cotton of your t-shirt and you smile against his lips, hips rolling up into his. Josh groans against your lips, another chuckle rumbling from him. The two of you break away from each other once more, your fingers playing with his hair.

“Are you trying to remind me of another moment in the back of a car?” he laughs. You also laugh, shaking your head slightly as you remember that night.

“Remind me again why we did that? The back of a fucking rental car?”

“It was the only option we had!” he gently exclaims. He was entirely correct: it was the same night as your high school graduation, the same night you and he went to the bar, the night he referenced the first night the two of you reconnected. He had flown in from Ohio for the summer and had to get a rental car. And because he was staying at his parents’ house and you were still at yours, there was no expectation of privacy. So, you made due with what you had: a rental car and an empty parking lot.

“Well,” you laugh, sighing against the comfortable bedding beneath you, “this is much better than that.”

“Definitely.” Josh presses a quick kiss to your lips. “And I think I know a way it can be even better…” he slowly says, kissing you again, his lips moving down to your neck and you sigh at the feeling.

“Is that a challenge Joshua?” you hum, breathless, your words falling softly. He lifts his head from your neck, hovering over you once more.

“More like a promise,” he replies, cupping a hand behind your head and kissing you deeply, with so much passion and intent.

The night passes with you and Josh wrapped up in each other, losing track of time. It’s a mess of stripping off items of clothing, never wanting to break your embrace. It’s lips and hands and heights of pleasure as your bodies intertwine, gasps and moans echoing in the night. Nothing but the stars as your witness.

*~*~*~*

It wasn’t supposed to rain.

The forecast clearly stated that the chance of rain was almost 0%. Perhaps 15% at the most.

Yet here you were, walking on the darkened sidewalk, the downpour soaking through your clothes and down to your skin.

Josh had invited you over to his house, just to spend some time together, just you and him while his parents were away on vacation. And you – foolishly, in hindsight – decided to walk over to his place because it was a beautiful day and you wanted the exercise.

But as you began your trek, the sky grew overcast and before you knew it, the previously miniscule droplets of rain on your skin turned into a deluge, drenching you through and through.

It wasn’t supposed to rain.

Finally, you see Josh’s house standing in front of you, a welcomed escape from the rain. You have to stop yourself from rushing through the waterlogged grass, drowning your canvas shoes even more. Instead, you take measured steps up his driveway, finally relaxing the moment you are under the cover of the front porch. Reaching out, you gently knock on the door, hoping that Josh can hear you above the noise of the rain and thunder.

He does and you breathe a small sigh of relief as you watch the heavy wood swing open, Josh’s bewildered face greeting you when he sees you standing there, shaking from the cold water falling from your hair and skin.

“Holy shit, what happened?” he asks, quickly pulling you inside.

“It wasn’t supposed to rain,” you meekly say, repeating the thought that had been echoing in your mind ever since the first drop hit your skin.

“Okay, wait there,” Josh says quickly, sprinting from the room and reappearing with a dish towel from the kitchen. “Here; for your hair.”

You mumble your thank you, taking the soft cotton from him and run it through your hair. Unfortunately, the fabric quickly becomes sodden and useless and you… aren’t any drier.

“Hey, Josh?” you whisper, shy and embarrassed at your current state.

“Yeah babe?”

“Could I – I mean, is it alright if I just take a shower?” you sheepishly ask, glancing up at him. “This,” you continue, gently shaking the kitchen towel, “is a lost cause.”

A small chuckle falls from Josh’s lips and he shakes his head in agreement. He waits for you to kick off your shoes before holding out his hand for you to take, leading you up the stairs and through the halls to the guest bathroom.

And while he pulls you along, you can’t help but take in your surroundings, still oddly familiar after all this time. It still smells the same; a comforting aroma of rosemary and leather. The walls are that same soft brown and you can see the pictures lining the hallways. And it makes you smile when you realize that most of them are of Josh.

Some you remember, like the picture of baby Josh at his first hockey game, the picture of him on the ice at his first junior ice hockey Eagles game, the picture of him in his London Knights jersey, or the picture of him donning a Columbus Blue Jackets sweater at the 2012 NHL Draft.

But there are others: Josh in picture frames in a Montreal jersey, Josh holding a puck noting his 100th NHL goal, Josh standing in Bell Centre with his team next to the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl.

The sight of those makes something pang in your chest. An ache that you had felt in the months after the two of you ended. An ache that appeared every time anyone mentioned his name to you. The same ache that you had felt in your chest when you woke up from the dream of him the very first night that you saw him again.

An acute exquisite longing. A desire to be with him. An indescribable feeling.

But now, as he guides you through the hallways, passing the pictures of him hanging on the walls, you thought that you could maybe put it into words.

Josh pulls you into the bathroom and you scoot around him, sitting on the toilet lid as he pulls the shower curtain back slightly. You can hear him talking and you know you should be listening but you can’t seem to bring yourself to.

“So, you have to like push on the knob while turning to make it turn on and off. Oh, and when my dad tried to fix it, he somehow flipped the temperature so now hot is cold and cold is hot so remember that but if you need any help just let me…”

Josh trails off when he notices your gaze directed at the tile floor, your mind miles away from him. He walks over, kneeling down in front of you, his hands landing on your bare knees.

“Hey,” he says softly, calling your attention to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong I just…” you trail off, shaking your head in defeat. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing you say is stupid,” Josh replies, his voice wrapping around you. “Please tell me. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

You huff out a small laugh, shaking your head once more. Still unsure. But there’s Josh, the same place he’s always been; right with you, patiently waiting for you, making sure you know that it’s safe. Safe to fall.

“I missed this,” you whisper.  

“Missed what?”

“This house. These memories. You.” You watch as Josh’s eyes sparkle at your words, his lips turning up into a gentle curve. Another sigh falls from your chest as you gather all the strength you can to push out the words that you had been too scared to say.

“I love you, Josh. And maybe that’s silly to say after all this time, after everything we’ve been through. But I do. I really do. And being with you these past few months have made me remember how much I missed you and how much I really do love you. And I do. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

There is a soft silence as your words hang in the air between the two of you. You hesitate, that fear sneaking into your heart again, worrying that you’ve said too much. But when you see the grin that breaks out onto Josh’s face, the skittering of your heart ceases. And when he leans in and captures your lips in a tender kiss, you swear you can feel the same love he has for you.

He breaks away, letting you rest your forehead against his for a moment before you are the one leaning in, kissing him once again.

The two of you stay like that for a few seconds, the sound of the rain and the shower mixing together, creating a cocoon of white noise, blocking out the world until it’s just you and him.

Silently, you lift your arms, looking at him with a small wicked smile on your lips. Josh chuckles as he understands your unsaid request, his hands grazing over your thighs before gripping the hem of your tank top, peeling it from your body as he stands up. He throws the material to the side but keeps his arms in the air, repeating your previous actions and you return the favor, hands sneaking under his shirt and pushing it upwards, his skin warm beneath your palms.

When you lift yourself up and pull the material away from him, Josh reconnects your lips, hand falling to brush over your hair before his arms wrap around you. You feel his fingers deftly undoing the clasp of your bra and you let it fall from your body before his hands trail down to your waistband.

Josh’s fingers dance over your skin and you can’t help but shiver at his delicate movements as his hands sneak between your two bodies, working on the button and zipper of your shorts. Your hands move similarly, slipping underneath the edge of his sweatpants. The two of you undress, bodies close, kisses rarely ceasing, until you both are standing bare.

You take Josh’s hand, leading him behind the patterned shower curtain, your shoulders relaxing as the warm water hits your chilled skin. Josh follows close behind, wrapping you in his arms and kissing you once more, the cascade falling around you.

It could’ve turned sexual, easily. But it never does. The two of you just wash each other’s hair and bodies, feeling muscles move beneath hands, massaging scalps filled with suds, only occasionally losing focus, lost in kisses and the feeling of being so close to one another once again.

Afterwards, the two of you curl up in bed together, tangled in sheets, you clad in one of his old shirts and sweatpants, both of your hair still damp, smelling like the apples and ginger of his body wash. And before you drift off to sleep, you hear his gentle whisper, lips against the crown of your head.

“You’re my best friend.”

You wake up surrounded by soft blue sheets, the morning sunlight peeking through blinds. Stretching out in bed, you reach over towards the other side, feeling for the strong body of Josh. Instead, you are met with an empty space.

Raising yourself up, you look around. You are still in his bedroom, his shirt still clinging to your frame. But Josh is nowhere to be found.

You swing your legs over the edge of the mattress, padding over the soft carpet and creeping out into the hallway. You take some time to pause and examine the pictures lining the wall, once again smiling at the moments you remember and trying not to feel sad at all the moments you missed. Until you hear a clattering coming from somewhere downstairs, drawing your attention away.

You descend the stairs and turn the corner to see Josh bustling around the kitchen. A smile tugs at your lips as you lean against the wall, content to just watch him for a moment. It takes him a minute before he notices your presence and shoots a large grin in your direction.

“Good morning,” he says as you wander further into the kitchen.

“Good morning to you. What are you up to?”

“Just making breakfast. I have some grapes in that bowl there, eggs are on the stove, gonna make some toast, and your coffee is sitting on the table. Just how you like it.”

You smile, settling down and popping a few grapes into your mouth as you continue to watch Josh move about the kitchen. He���s concentrated, focused on the food in front of him and running back and forth between the stovetop and the toaster. And you quietly giggle at his franticness, leaning back in your seat.

Lifting the warm mug up to your lips, you inhale the smell of homemade coffee before taking a small sip. And grimace when the bitterness hits your tongue.

You pull away, looking down into the brown liquid, realizing that Josh forgot to add sugar. Two spoonful’s, same as always. The exact way that you took your coffee ever since you started drinking coffee back in high school.

Josh knew that. He had made a thousand cups for you before. And he was confident this morning. But he forgot. Why did he forget now?

You are about to call out to him, tell him but something stops you. The harsh taste of coffee lingering on your tongue causes a similar stinging feeling to course through you, one that you had become all too familiar with.

Fear.

It crawls in and forces you to comb through your memories of these past few months, of every date, of last night. You told him you loved him. That you never stopped loving him.

And he never said it back.

You thought he felt the same way, based solely on the way he held you, the way he kissed you. But perhaps you were lying to yourself, trying so hard to get back the thing that you missed so much that you became blind to how he really feels.

And now, watching as he moves around the kitchen, casual and easy-going, the way he had been, the way that he always had been ever since the two of you started dating again, it scared you.

The acrid smell of burnt toast hits your nostrils, mixing with the sour taste of coffee and the unpleasant thoughts swirling around in your head.

He told you he missed you.

But did he miss you the same way you missed him?

*~*~*~*

AUTUMN

The first cool breath of autumn came blowing in, faster than expected.

And the fear came with it.

The same fear that first crept into your heart that early morning late July had grown, twisting its dark tendrils around every part of the relationship that you and Josh shared, staining everything with doubt and mistrust. Whispering a thought that you didn’t want to believe with such conviction that you felt it had to be true:

This was going to end. And you would be the one left to pick up the pieces once again.

That fear haunted you; it walked with you everywhere you went, influenced every decision you made. And it took its toll.

There was a tension between you and Josh now. It felt like the tension at the beginning, in spring. However, it had been timid back then, like a scared creature pushed into a corner that had to slowly learn to love again. Now, it was ominous, a predator lurking in the shadows simply biding time, waiting to tear you apart.

Every night when you laid in Josh’s arms, you swore you could hear it breathing underneath the bed. You clung to Josh, worried about letting him go. And Josh always responded by holding you tighter, trying to soothe you to sleep.

He could feel it too. That anxiety. The change that had slowly washed over the two of you.

Except, Josh didn’t know where it had come from and why it had appeared.

Dinner at your place. A table set for two. And Josh kept glancing up at you as you sip your wine, absentmindedly push the food around your plate. The expanse of wood between the two of you feeling like an ocean and the silence has grown heavier and heavier as the weeks have passed.

You hear Josh clear his throat gently, forcing you to look up from the abstract red swirls of sauce on the white porcelain.

“Hey, Taylor and Austin are throwing a party in a few days. They say it’s for me, before I go back to Montreal but I hate how that sounds. A party for me? Seems pretentious, right?”

You don’t have a reply, only because you felt your stomach drop at the cruel reminder that he was leaving. More evidence towards the truth of this ending.

Something breaks you out of your wide-eyed worry to see Josh looking at you, his brows slightly furrowed but patiently waiting for a response. You just give him a non-committal hum, a sign that you were listening even though that was further from the truth than anything.

“Anyway,” Josh continues, still glancing at you and you can see the slight concern on his face. “I was thinking maybe, at the party, we could tell everyone about us. That we’re dating. I mean, it’s been a few months and we’re pretty solid, right? I think we can make it official.”

Your mind reels. He wanted to make things official? He thought your relationship was solid? Even though he was leaving and you two hadn’t talked about it and he still hadn’t said he loves you? You were spiraling. The thoughts cascaded in your brain, screaming, mixing with the fear and anxiety and all the rest of it. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe.

And over all the static in your brain, you barely heard the metallic clatter of your fork falling from your hand, hitting your plate. You startle, snapped back to reality, your eyes connecting to Josh, the worry clear on his face. And you know how you must look: wide-eyed and mouth agape.

Quickly, you gather yourself, swallowing and blinking a few times to remove the ‘deer in headlights look’ from your eyes. You break away from his gaze, looking back down, picking up your fork again and placing it in the center.

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you murmur, crumbling up the paper napkin next to you and throwing it onto the plate as well, moving just for the sake of moving.

“Why not?”

You shrug, picking up your wine glass, finishing it off before lifting yourself up from your seat, collecting your dishware and wandering into the kitchen. The gentle clatter you cleaning off your plate, placing it in the sink is the only soundtrack to your movements. For a moment, it’s peaceful: a nice reprieve. But without looking, you knew when Josh walked in. Because the tension appeared again.

You ignore him, concentrating on the task in front of you, rinsing your plate before pulling open the dishwasher.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Josh asks from the other side of the room, not daring to move closer to you.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” you say, trying to keep your tone even as you turn your focus onto your wine glass, repeating your earlier movements.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, fine, you don’t believe me. That doesn’t change the fact that nothing is wrong,” you reply, your tone getting sharper because you just want him to leave you alone. To stop poking and prodding you.

“Something is. You can tell me it’s not but I’ve noticed it.”

“Josh, just drop it, okay?” you huff, closing the dishwasher with a little more force than necessary.

“No, I’m not going to drop it,” Josh replies, the frustration creeping into his voice as well, as he stalks across the kitchen towards you. “You’re pulling away from me. And I have no fucking idea why.”

“I’m not fucking pulling away from you,” you scoff, turning away from him. “God, you’re being paranoid.”

“I’m being paranoid?”

“Yes, you’re being paranoid,” you say, spinning back towards him. “We’re solid, right? You’re leaving for Montreal in a few weeks and we haven’t even talked about it but no worries, we’re good. I mean, you obviously think that we’re good because you want to tell all our friends about us and make us official. So, clearly, you’re just imagining these things, okay?

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing because it’s fine, we’re fine, everything’s fine.”

“We’re fine? No, we are not. A month ago, a month ago maybe we were fine. But now? I – I don’t know what the fuck is happening. Talk to me. I just need you to fucking talk to me.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say!? There’s nothing left for me to say, I’ve said everything and I’ve done everything and you’re the one, you’re the one that hasn’t.”

“What do you mean by that? I have done everything.”

“Oh, really, you’ve done everything,” you mock.

“Yes, I have. I care about you. What more do I have to do to prove that I care about you?”

“Care about me. Care about me? That’s the whole thing, Josh. That’s the –“  

Your sentence breaks off as you pace away from him, your hands coming up to tangle in your hair, your fear slowly morphing into anger.

“You say you missed us, you say that you care about me, you say that I’m your best friend. But you’ve never, ever said that you love me. You’ve never said those fucking words to me. I. Love. You. Not once. Not even after I told you –“

Your words stick in your throat, your resolve slowly crumbling, the tears that you have been willing back pushing their way to the surface.

“– after I told you that I’ve never stopped loving you. Even after all this time, even after all the bullshit we’ve been through, after you left me without so much of an explanation. I still love you. Still. You.”

The energy drains from you and your body slumps against the counter, right in front of the sink, the exact place where this argument started. You look up at him, defeated, a sickening single teardrop falling onto your cheek.

“Why can’t you say it back? Please, just… say it back.”

“I… I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Josh sighs, his own shoulders dropping in a similar sense of defeat.

There’s nothing to say in response to those words so you stay silent, turning back to the sink and begin to rinse of the remaining dishes from dinner. Your hands move deftly, occasionally lifting up and brushing your tears away. You can’t hear Josh but you don’t want to turn and check to see if he’s still there. After a few moments, you hear his footsteps cross the kitchen and feel his arms wrap around your waist. His body molds against yours, gentle and comforting as he presses his lips into your hair.

“I care about you. I do. And I want you to believe that I will say it. Eventually. I promise. But you have to trust me. Don’t you trust me?”

You want to believe him. You want to prove to yourself that all this wasn’t for nothing. All the pain and hurt and rekindling and trepidation and risk actually meant something. But you trusted him before. And he let you down. And there was a chance he would do it again.

“How can I?” you mutter, the lingering hurt echoing in your voice.

Silence again but this time, it cuts, sharp and definitive and you can feel Josh tense against you. He pulls away, his own energy shifting, a wall falling between the two of you and you can hear it in his voice when he speaks.

“Well, then… maybe this was a mistake. Because you can’t build a relationship without trust.”

You don’t look back at him: just continue your motions, taking that coldness from his tone and using that ice to steel your resolve.

“You’re right. You can’t. Goodnight, Josh.”

The last sound you hear is your front door closing, the click of the doorknob echoing, signaling the end.

*~*~*~*~*

You were at the party. Why were you at the party?

It was an absolutely terrible idea for you to even entertain the thought of showing up on Taylor and Austin’s doorstep. Especially when you know that he would be there.

But that was the whole thing, wasn’t it?

He was there. But to all of your friends, who had seen you two together, getting along, who had seen the new yet still easy-going friendship that you two shared…

Josh’s presence was no reason for why you wouldn’t be attending. And you didn’t have the stomach to make up some bullshit excuse. Nor did you have the heart to air your dirty laundry to all your friends on what should be a celebration.

All you had to do was get through this party. That was all. Then Josh would leave for Montreal and you both could blame your separation on distance; that easy unavoidable truth. Nothing more.

And it was working.

You had been there for hours but perhaps it only felt like hours because you were so conscious of your actions. Avoiding Josh as best as you could, but never immediately leaving a room as soon as he entered. Being civil with him whenever the two of you were included in a conversation together. It was… exhausting to say the least. But you kept reminding yourself, ‘if you get through this, it will all be over’.

You didn’t acknowledge how much it hurt every time that mantra passed through your mind.

But, regardless, this was working.

Or, at least, you thought it was working.

Until Katie’s hand wraps around your upper arm and before you can blink, she is dragging you up the stairs, pulling you into the closest guest room she can find and locking the door behind the two of you. She spins around, her eyes sharp and you are slightly taken aback by the emotion behind her movements.

“Okay, spill. What the fuck is going on between you and Josh?” she asks abruptly.

“What do you mean?”

“Something is happening. Or, something happened. I don’t know exactly, but what I do know is that you are acting weird.”

“How am I acting weird?” you ask, continuing to pretend that nothing was going on. But this was Katie you were talking to. Your closest friend. She could always see right through you.

“The way you two are barley speaking? The way you look like you want to jump out of your skin every time you hear his voice? Making up excuses as to why you can’t seem to stay in the same room?”

“I’m not doing that,” you deflect, turning away from her, focusing your attention on the décor scattered on top of the dresser. You hear a sigh from her and out of the corner of your eye, you see her move to sit on the bed before turning her attention back to you.

“Y/N, you’re my best friend. You know that you can tell me anything. I’m only asking because I’m concerned. You seemed really happy these past few months and I know it might sound weird but, it feels like Josh had something to do with that. And now… you’re not. And it’s not just you. I can see it in Josh too. I just want to know what happened.”

Your eyes turn to her, perched on the edge of the mattress. You didn’t want to admit anything, didn’t want to talk. There was a weakness inherent in confession, one that you never liked. But there she was: a friend who would go to war for you and a safe harbor for you to escape the storm in your head.

It takes a moment of silent patience before you walk over to the bed, sitting next to Katie and reach out for her hand. She takes it, rubbing her thumb against your knuckles and that singular soothing motion causes the walls to fall.

And you tell her everything.

Josh coming to your house after that first night. The moment the two of you were bathed in moonlight and almost kissed. The night on the dock when you agreed to try again and everything afterwards. Including the argument that led to where you are now.

Katie simply listens to you, letting your feelings pour out in tidal waves. And when you finally finish, she sits quietly, digesting all of your words before speaking once again.

“Do you remember what I told you a while ago? When I – well, when I set you and Josh up to meet again? That you can’t lock people out and expect to heal?”

“Kind of,” you reply.

“Maybe I should have explained it better,” she sighs, locking eyes with you and you can see the earnestness reflecting in her pupils. “When you lock people out and build these walls that you are an expert at creating, brick by brick… sure, you save yourself from getting hurt. But you also block out the world. And, it sucks to say but, life doesn’t exist behind walls. You have to take risks and chances. Is there a chance that you’ll get hurt? Yeah, absolutely. But there’s an equal chance that everything will work out. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

She pauses, letting her message sink in and you find your mind replaying the moments when you did exactly what she said: you hid, safe behind the comfort of your walls. And you remember the moments when you took the risk. That afternoon when you invited Josh back into your life. That night when you told him that you wanted him back. Katie clears her throat, bringing your attention back to her.

“You didn’t want to lose him. But guess what? You did any way.”

There it was. The truth wielded like a knife, cutting right down to the ache that you felt in your chest ever since Josh walked out of your house a few nights ago.

“If that’s what you wanted – to stop yourself from getting hurt – you should feel good right now. Do you feel good right now?”

Another pause, her question hanging in the air, waiting to be answered.

“No…” you say, your confession lingering in the stillness. Your eyes turn skyward, a sigh of frustration rushing through you as the implications of your feelings surface.

“But I don’t know what to do. What if I already fucked everything up?” Katie shoots you a sympathetic smile.

“I don’t have the answer to that. But I know who does.” It takes a moment for you to register who she is referring to and when you look back at her, you know that she can read the distress in your eyes. The only thing she offers is another smile and a gentle pat onto the back of your hands before she lifts herself up off the bed, wandering back to the door. She opens it and is about to walk out when she turns back to you.

“Talk to Josh. It might be too late. It might not. Take the risk. Take the leap. You are strong enough to survive the fall.”

*~*~*~*

You spend the rest of the evening replaying your conversation with Katie. Even after you return to the buzz of the party, your mind hums louder, pulling you away from the present, trapping you in the maze of your thoughts. You acknowledge Taylor and Austin’s invitation for you all to stay the night and ‘make yourselves at home’. Your friends follow their encouragement, stumbling off to guest beds, sunroom lounge chairs, and living room couches, the mixture of fading adrenaline and alcohol lulling them off to sleep.

But your brain does not give you a reprieve. Instead, it drones on, reverberating around your skull, keeping you awake. So, you wander; footsteps quiet as you explore the house around you, looking at pictures on the wall, books on the shelves. All while your mind spins, just like the blades of the ceiling fans hanging above your head.

It isn’t until you see the sky shift from black, to dark blue, to the hazy grey of morning does your mind settle. You’ll talk to Josh. As soon as you get the chance. Tell him the truth. And hope that will be enough.

You wander into the kitchen, naturally falling into your own morning routine, trying to find some peace in the methodology. The tile of the kitchen feels cool underneath your feet as you quietly open the cabinets, spending a few minutes of furious googling to figure out Taylor’s fancy coffee machine until the warm brown liquid pours from the spout, it’s aroma filling the air, a scent that always felt like a greeting to the rising sun, the start of a new day.

You are so focused on watching the mug fill that you almost don’t notice Josh amble around the corner, entering the kitchen. Eventually, you see movement out of the corner of your eyes and you turn your attention to him, unable to stop the smile that appears on your face at his disheveled hair.

“Hi,” you whisper, careful to not shatter the quiet morning.

“Hey,” he replies, his casual tone having an underlying caution that you can feel, the tension and hurt still dancing on the edges of both of your words. He continues to walk through the kitchen, grabbing a banana from the hanger sitting on the top of the fridge. You watch him carefully, wondering exactly how to approach him.

“So,” you begin, his attention turning to you. “I – um – I spent probably the past twenty minutes figuring out this coffee machine,” you continue, letting the humor bleed into your words, thinking this might be the best way to start; nonchalant yet still tentative. “And I don’t want to keep my newfound skills to myself. So… do you want a cup?”

A small thrill of relief rushes through you when you see Josh smile.

“I’d like that. Thank you.”

You respond with a gentle nod, turning back to the machine as Josh settles down into one of the stools lining the island. You grasp the warm mug in your hands before spinning and placing it on the marble in front of Josh. He murmurs another thanks, taking a sip and humming in appreciation. You turn again, grabbing another mug from the cabinet and starting up the brew again, this time for yourself.

When the coffee fills the ceramic, you finish it off and wander back over to Josh. You settle across from him, your body leaning against the cold countertop, taking an apple from the fruit bowl sitting in the center.

Josh and you stay like that, munching on your fruit, taking quiet measured sips of your coffee. You watch him: he watches you. The silence isn’t comfortable but it isn’t unpleasant either. It’s… restrained. Both of you holding back.

Finally, you clear your throat, lifting your body up but keeping the space of the island between you, a barrier of safety to prevent your next words from sounding confrontational. Although, you still look down, avoiding his gaze.

“Um, I wanted to talk to you about… what happened. Between us,” you begin, stumbling over your words, the syllables feeling clunky in your mouth. You look up and it’s a comfort when you see Josh’s eyes locked on your frame, nothing in his body language hinting at hostility. You take another deep breath before continuing.

“Well, actually, what I really want to do is apologize.” Another glance back at Josh, his full attention turned to you, his body lifting in curiosity at your statement. “That night, I blamed you for my own fear and insecurities. And that wasn’t fair to you. And I know that’s not an excuse. There is no excuse to how I treated you. You have been nothing but kind and caring and sweet and patient with me and I still lashed out.”

“It’s just… I was scared. Scared of this ending again, scared of losing you again, scared of having to live life without you. I love you, Josh. I know I’ve said it before and I know that sometimes it might not seem like I do. But I do.”

You let your last statement and the imploring tone of your voice press at Josh, pleading for him to understand. He doesn’t respond for a minute, his head dropping down as he processes everything that you told him, his hands fidgeting around his empty mug.

“Again.” That’s the first word that falls from his lips and your forehead wrinkles in confusion. He lifts his face towards yours, connecting your eyes to his. “You keep saying that. You don’t want this to end again. Like history is determining all of our actions now. Like we’re going to end up in the same place that we did back then.”

It’s your turn for you to break his gaze, eyes falling to the countertop.

“I know.”

“You can’t keep holding onto our past like that.”

“It’s hard to do that when the past is all we have,” you murmur, the words echoing in the space between the two of you, that awful tension creeping in again.

“I’m not sure how we can fix this,” Josh confesses.  

“Me either,” you whisper. The admission remains, heavy in the early morning light. You know that you could leave it at that, let this become the truth that separates you and Josh forever. But you could just as easily change that. All you needed to do was be brave.

You could be brave.

So, you reach out to him, your hand crossing the space between the two of you. And in a move that was so similar to the one he made that night on the dock behind his house months ago, you coax his hand into yours, fingers intertwining before you speak again.

“But I want to. I really want to try and fix this.”

The two of you stay there. Waiting. Until finally, Josh breaks the delicate silence.

“Then… let’s try. No promises, no guarantees. Just you and I, trying.” Those blue eyes connect with yours, the sunlight highlighting the hope that you can see shimmering his irises, a gentle smile on his lips. And you respond with a smile of your own.

“I’d like that,” you reply. Josh’s hand tightens around yours, his eyes shifting into a sincerity that made your heart flutter.

“I will try and prove to you that I am never letting you go again.”

“And I will try and not hold the past against you. I trust you.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”

SIGN UP FOR MY TAGLIST HERE

[puckngrind]

Vera: Summer exchange - N. MacKinnon

Well, this is my first exchange and I'd like to thank @antoineroussel for putting this together. I wrote this for @crosbyscurls and I hope you like it. I tried to add your favorite in here without actually writing him. haha.

This fic is set post-Stanley Cup win 2022. Features OC, Vera and recent Stanley cup champ, Nathan.

The POV changes throughout and is noted by the characters names.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of Sid (yeah, that's only a warning for me)

Word count: 3k

Summer 2022

-+Vera+-

I was attempting to zone out and take a nap next to the pool.  My best friend, Keshia, came with me to the exclusive resort partly as a distraction and partly to celebrate graduating.  We had been best friends since suffering through Economics 101 Freshman year then became roommates while finishing our four years at University of Colorado in Denver.  She was trying her best at the distraction aspect but all I could think about was how I had no plan for what to do next with my life and the lovely pool of sweat gathering on my lower back.

“I swear the sun is hotter here.”  Keshia’s voice broke through my inner thoughts.  She was sipping on whatever the sexy bartender she was clearly hitting on mixed up for her.

“We are at the equator, Kesh.  Seriously, that history degree is really helping you out there, isn’t it?”  The sass dripped over every word as I peered at her from under my wide brimmed hat.  She did in fact have a history degree while I switched from a business degree to art history sophomore year after spending most of my non-class hours in the studio.  I didn’t necessarily need to create the art but I loved being around it.  Learning how it came to be and the story behind the piece.  Switching from the very safe business field my father had insisted I go into to the unstable and unpredictable career path I had chosen was exactly why I was laying at this gorgeous resort with my best friend.  I was also, in fact, very much heart broken.  The trip was planned with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.  When he ended it very unexpectedly right before graduation, Keshia decided my dream of going to the Maldives before we parted ways in different cities was exactly what we would do.

“We are here to distract the hell out of you, Vee, so why don’t you take a look around at all the eye candy we have to choose from.”  She moved her tone arm as if she wanted me to select from an array of desserts.  I shifted my upper body to look around.  I scanned the surrounding area and my eye caught sight of what I’m sure couldn’t be.  Nathan.  There was no way he would be here.  He just won the Stanley Cup.  I was sure he would head home from Denver after the celebrations.  I shook my head knowing I must’ve been seeing things.  He broke my heart right before the playoffs started.  The arrival of my denim jacket the girls all ordered absolutely sent me over the edge which was when Keshia got to planning this trip to get me out of Denver and out of my head.  She even used her trust fund to pay for everything which I admently tried to stop her at every step of the planning process.  I would’ve been happy going anywhere but she knew the Maldives was the dream even if the man I was dreaming it with wasn’t here.

“The heat is messing with me.”  I shifted up on my lounger quickly.  “I’m going to cool off in the water for a minute.”  I pointed to the area only feet from her and she nodded in approval.

+-Nathan-+

I finally found Sid and Kathy at a cabana near the pool.  Kathy was stretched across a lounge chair in the sun while Sid was sitting up behind her, his feet placed under her chest.  Why the fuck was I the third wheel with them always was beyond me!  Sid insisted I joined them to celebrate my first cup.  Honestly, I think he wanted someone to work out with while Kathy hit the spa.  

��“Hey.”  Sid didn’t even look up from his book when I plopped down next to him.  I was attempting to figure out how to stretch out my very pale legs to catch some of the sun Kathy was laying in when she moved her legs slightly. 

“Thanks.”  I mumbled.  They were like my older siblings, honestly.  Knew me better than most.  

“Have you two gotten in the pool yet?”  I attempted to start some sort of conversation.  Sid was the king of letting silence happen but when it was quiet, I started to think about shit I did not want to think about.  The playoffs was a good distraction from thinking about-

“Is that Vera?”  Kathy’s voice shattered through my internal monologue.  She was sitting up slightly and nodded at the pool.  I swallowed hard and attempted to look in the direction she was motioning looking for the milk chocolate skin I knew every inch of.  Sure enough, there she was, leaning against the side of the shallow end of the pool.  Water dripped down the end tails of her bikini top as she was chatting with Keshia.  I tried to steer my brain from remembering untying those same end tails in the hot tub during all star break.  Fuck.  I cleared my throat and realized Kathy had gone back to laying her head down while Sid was staring into my soul.

“I guess that could be her.  Not sure how…”  I stopped talking.  Lost in thought of how I told her we needed to go our separate ways.  Knew she wouldn’t take the internship in New York if we were together.  I focused on the playoff run which was easy to do.

“You should go talk to her.”  Kathy didn’t move her face but was clear as day from her tanning position.

“Nah.  I should leave her alone.  She wouldn’t wanna talk to me anyway.”  I glanced back up to see her dipping back in and lifting up slightly on the pool’s ledge.  My thoughts were going to be the death of me.

“Maybe you should.  I still think you love her.”  Kathy answered.

“I had my reasons for leaving.”  I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose willing my dick to stop acting on its own accord.  

“Still, Nate.”  Kathy elbowed Sid which made me chuckle.

“Your brain may think leaving her was the best for both of you but your dick has other ideas.”  Sid dryly said, causing Kathy to pop up.  “Don’t you fucking dare woman!”  He ordered her as I adjusted myself.

“I was turning over darling.”  Kathy giggled.  “If Nate isn’t ready to go talk to Vera, he doesn’t have to.  Even though I was pretty sure they would take the walk down the aisle before us.”  Her jab made me laugh out hard and loud.  She was the only person who could get under Sidney Crosby’s skin and I loved her for it.  Sid grumbled under his breath as I took a moment to look at Vera again.  She was staring straight at me.  Holy fucking hell what do I do?  My first thought was to wave, then I thought I should go say hi.  Kathy kicked my legs off to the ground making my decision for me.

“Stop being awkward Nathan and go at least say hi.”  She pushed at my calf muscle then gave a look to Sidney.

“Yeah, maybe at least acknowledging that you see each other is best.”  Sid nodded.

I got to my feet and looked to see which way would be easier to head over to her.  She had jumped out of the water.  That perfect ass was on full display as she leaned over Keshia.  I started walking around the pool, my head down as I focused on attempting to keep it cool.  I looked up to see Keshia sitting alone and Vera almost to the resort doors.  Was she really running from me?

“Nate?”  I heard Keshia’s voice faintly as I took off.  I would not run and make a scene but damn it I was going to at least say hi.  My long strides allowed me to get to Vera before she hit the doors to the hotel’s main area.

“Vee, wait!”  I wasn’t even sure I said it out loud but then she turned towards me.  All those feelings that I suppressed for almost three months came rushing over me catching my tongue as those gorgeous caramel eyes met mine.  She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set my eyes on.  The memory of the day we met when I was doing a team charity function at the studio she was working at came flooding back.  She stopped me in my tracks then too with how stunning she is.  Not like the over make-uped, fake everything girls that throw themselves at myself and my teammates whenever they can.  No, Vera was natural in every way and it took me forever to prove how absolutely attracted I was to her.  Yet it wasn’t her looks I fell in love with.  No, they were just an added bonus to the intelligent, funny, compassionate women that stole my heart.

“Well, this is awkward.”  She mumbled kicking at the ground.  “I’m just gonna…”  She turned away from me and my brain and mouth connected.

“No, please don’t!”  I almost shouted even though she was right there.  When she turned back around with that eyebrow up, I knew I only had moments before she would bolt.

-+Vera+-

For someone who crushed me into a million pieces just a few months ago, I should’ve slapped him and kept going towards my room.  I should’ve but there was something in his eyes, the way his muscles flexed as his eyes drank me in that made me cross my arms under my breasts and hear Nathan out.

“Nate, why are you here?”  I broke our silence finally.  There was an edge to my voice that even I was shocked when it emerged.

“Uh, well, I… I was gonna ask you the same thing.”  He started awkwardly moving his hands around.  “Sid and Kathy convinced me to come.  Celebrate and all.”  He swallowed hard and I couldn’t help but watch that delicious Adam’s apple bob up and down.

“Yes, congrats on the cup.  I’m sure your parents are so damn proud.”  I attempted not to wince at the feelings rushing through me.  “Keisha and I are celebrating graduation before she bolts from Denver.”  Nathan’s calculated face shifted.  He looked down at me puzzled.

“Aren’t you bolting too?  Your internship should be starting soon, right?”  He rubbed the back of his neck and my eyes trailed the taunt muscles in his arm before staring into those gray eyes that sparkled blue in the sun.

“I’m staying in Denver.”  My voice didn’t even sound like mine.

“Wait, what?  I… you… New… fuck.”  For someone who spoke to the public on the regular, he wasn’t making any sense right now.  He shook his head as if to correct his brain.  “That internship was your in, Vee.  Why turn it down?”  There was the confident man I loved.

“Well, Denver offered me a temporary position that was the same as New York but I am getting paid.  Hopefully it turns into a permanent position.  You’d know that if you hadn’t–”

“If I didn’t smash both of our hearts by ending it.”  He interrupted me.  Wait, what did he say, both?  I felt the tears prick the side of my eyes.  No, I would NOT cry in public, because of Nathan Fucking MacKinnon.  Nope.  Damn.

I turned back towards the building.  “It was good to see you Nate but I gotta go.”  I moved quickly hoping he wouldn’t follow me.  He knew me enough to know that crying in public was something I could not handle.  Not one bit.  I took a breath once I reached our suite not realizing I was holding it while running away from Nate.  I needed to shower off not only the pool but the encounter.  The scalding hot water was only a temporary relief.  I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel then made my way throughout our suite.  Keisha didn’t hold out on this trip and while I hated her for it, I also loved the fact that she knew what I needed.  A knock on the door startled me.  I clutched my towel then realized it must be Keisha and she forgot her key.

“Forget your key, Kesh?”  I sang as I opened the door.  I almost dropped my towel when Nathan’s body engulfed the space, not my best friends.

+-Nathan-+

Lord help me, Vera answered the door in a towel and I was still just in my swim trunks that did very little to hide the raging hardon that sprung to life.  Her eyes were glued to mine and her mouth hung open.

“Can we talk?”  I found the courage to say, awkwardly clutching my wrist to avoid and attempting to think of anything non-sexual to control myself.

“Why?”  Her tone was hurtful.

“Because I’m sorry.  Because I’m a dumbass.  Because I did something I thought would help you but it hurt us both.  Because, damn it, Vee.  Because I fucking still love you and I hope the feeling is mutual.”  She didn’t say anything but moved to the side to let me in.  She motioned to the couch and shuffled herself with clothes in hand to the bathroom.  Shutting the door hard.  Not like I hadn’t seen her gorgeous body naked a million times over the years.  I dreamed about those curves of her hips and getting lost in those sexy as hell thighs she was so damn self conscious about but I loved biting the meaty flesh of.

“I’d thought you’d be home by now and I would be safe on this trip.”  She hadn’t fully emerged from the bathroom but opened the door.

“Sid thought I needed to celebrate.” I swear we had this conversation.

“Congrats, really.”  She moved to sit on the chair across from me.

“I wish you would’ve been there.”  I blurted out.

“Well, you made damn sure I wasn’t, didn’t ya?”  Feisty Vee was back and ready to fight.

“Look, Vera.  I’m a dumb hockey player who thought that you wouldn’t go to New York for that internship if I trapped you in Denver with me.  This life.  My life.  It doesn’t have to be yours.  You belong doing your art thing in one of the biggest cities with the most exposure you can.  I did this for you.”  I huffed out.

“For me?!?!”  She gripped the side of the chair.  “Why in the fuck would you not just talk to me?  This life.  Your life.  If you hadn’t noticed, Nathan, it was my life too.  We were doing life together.  You broke my heart for me?  For ME?”  She was pissed and I sat there knowing she wasn’t done.  “It would be easier to go to New York.  Not see your damn face everywhere I turned.  See the happy Nathan MacKinnon holding the damn cup he’d been dreaming about since he could remember.  Fuck, Nate.  You and our friends have enedated the city I love and part of me was so happy for you.  The other part wanted to throw up because I couldn’t handle it any more.”

“I’m..”  She growled at me and I stopped.

“Stop apologizing, Nathan.  We should be happy and on this trip in paradise together but you took it upon yourself to make a choice for us without consulting ME!”  Vera’s mouth was angry but there was something in her eyes that made me realize something.

“Could we try again?  Not go back to where we were, but start over?”  Would she even consider me worthy of her love again?  I don’t know.  We sat there in silence for longer than I had hoped.  I watched her process what I said.  She shifted her foot under her ass and I had to shift myself again so I didn’t look like I was only after one thing.  Finally she spoke.

“There is so much hurt, Nate but…”  There was a but and I bit my lip trying like hell not to interrupt her.  “But, while you hurt me, and that pain won’t disappear any time soon, I do still love your dumbass.”  I dropped to my knees and crawled like a child over to the chair she occupied.  My heart pounding in my chest that I’m sure she heard it.

“Vee?”  I placed my hands on the armrests.  She looked down at me with a look I knew too well.  She was hiding but there was some mischief in that caramel swirling around.  “Vee?”  I said again because I wasn’t sure her name actually left my tongue the first time.  “Baby, forgive me.  Let’s start over.  Let’s do this right.  Open communication.  None of my bullshit trying to save you from this hard ass life of the hockey world.  We take it on together.”  She placed a finger on my lips.  The spark flew through my skin as I stared up at her.

“Nathan Raymond, would you stop babbling.”  She snickered.  I was pouring my heart out.  Apologizing trying to win her back and she snickered at me.  I nodded and she pulled her finger away.  “I don’t want to start over.  I want to continue.  Yes, we need to be open and honest with each other.  Frankly, until you broke up with me I thought we had that.”

“We did.  I’m a fool.”  I closed my eyes realizing how foolish I really was.  “So?”

“So, do you have a room WITH Sid or alone?”  My eyes flashed open and her sinister grin was plastered across her beautiful face.

“I have my own room.  Why?”  I let my hand slide to her knee.  I missed her so much the contact took my breath away and it was just her knee.

“Because it Keisha comes back, I don’t need her seeing us fucking.”  I swallowed my tongue and Vera laughed.  “I’m still mad at you but you’ve been hard since our eyes met down at the pool and frankly I haven’t had a good orgasm since you left me.”

  “Sex isn’t the bandage we need to heal, Vee.”  Why was my mouth saying words my dick was angry about?  “Wait, you’ve had orgasms since we split?”  She giggled again.

“Sex doesn’t fix us but we are damn good at it.  My vibrating buddy isn’t the same.”  She stood and held out a hand to me.  She was right about us being good at it.  The woman knew how to make me a needy, wanting, mess of a man.  I stood.  Our bodies were so close that I could breathe her in again.  All coconut, vanilla, and pure Vera.

“How about I kiss you and we start there?”  I asked.  My hand started its way to her neck to pull her into me.  The nod she gave me was all I needed.  Our lips crashed together.  The months apart.  The hurt and pain was still there but the love was too.  Vera was everything.  She was my resting place.  My anchor.  I would kiss her forever if she let me.  She felt like home. My home. Forever.  

[laurenairay]

Heya! I'm your match for the summer fic exchange. Couple questions for now.

Do you prefer reader insert or OC?

And just in general, any tropes in particular you like or ones you really don't like?

Hello! :)

I am completely open to both - I love the creativity you can get with an OC and I also love the personal connection you can get with reader insert! So whatever feels right to you, I'm fine with.

Hmm, I'm not a huge fan of baby fics - I have written some myself but I really have to be in the mood for them, so I guess that's the only real maybe not thing for me? As for tropes I do like...everything from childhood friends to lovers to there's only one bed to fake relationships! Anything that can put a smile on my face, I love!

[comphy-and-cozy]

Hello there! I’m your fic ’non for the summer fic exchange. Only a couple questions for you. Would you like a reader insert, or OC, and would you like your fic to happen during the hockey season, or after?

hi friend!!

I’m open to either but if you need a push in one direction I’ll say reader insert. and I am also open to either during or after the season, but again if you just need a direction I’ll say after since the season’s almost over ☺️

I’m so excited!!!

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

Tagging: @ryanpulock​ @texanstarslove​ @charlie-theangelwrites​ @suitandtys​

Relationship: Pre-Established; Andrei Svechnikov x Fem!OC

Summary: Zara’s sister is getting married in Tulum and her lie about having a boyfriend ends up being more than she bargained for.

Word Count: 36k

Warnings: Alcohol. Smut. Public sexual activities. Questionable family dynamics.

Comments: This is my fic for Demi ( @antoineroussel​ ) for her Summer 2k22 Fic Exchange! I’m SO sorry that this is so late and thank you so much for being patient!!! I really hope you like it!!! I know how much you liked Kat and Andrei so… I decided to go in that direction. I hope you enjoy!!! xx

Link to playlist

Donate to Ukraine here

(c) nat g. 2022 // do not repost, do not claim as your own

- November -

Zara was pulled from sleep by her phone vibrating on her bedside table. She groaned as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and she knew before she reached over that it was her parents. Sure enough, her mother’s name flashed across the screen when she picked it up and Zara could already hear her voice.

“Do you have a boyfriend yet?”

“Will you be getting married soon like your sister?”

“When will you be giving us grand babies?”

Every time Zara was on the phone it was the same thing. It didn’t matter that Zara had been top of her class in high school and college and won academic medal after academic medal. It didn’t matter that she was working her dream job as an athletic trainer for the Carolina Hurricanes. All her parents saw was that she was 29 and no closer to love than she was ten years ago while her younger sister, Skye, was on the cusp of marriage.

Skye had always been the perfect child. She was the baby and she could do no wrong. She was beautiful and artistic and everyone who met her fell in love with her, including her fiancé, Toby. They had met in ninth grade English. He sat behind her and they had a project together analysing Romeo and Juliet and the rest was history. Everyone adored Toby. He was everything anyone could want in a boyfriend or brother in law; he was smart and athletic and kind and funny and, above all, good with family. It came to no surprise when he proposed after eight years together.

Of course, Zara was happy for her sister. But Zara also went through men like candy. No matter how promising they seemed at first, it never took long for things to fall apart. They were always too self-absorbed or too arrogant or too childish or too inexperienced. It wasn’t for her lack of trying, but she couldn’t keep a man down for longer than a few months.

Her phone vibrated in her hand and she sighed before she answered it. “Hello?”

“Hi! Your dad and I just wanted to check on you, you know, before the wedding. You still haven’t made your reservation at the hotel,” her mom said, making Zara run her hand over her face. It wasn’t even 10am and it was beginning. “Maybe because you’ve been seeing someone and you’re not sure about bringing them to the wedding?” Her mother added hopefully.

Honestly, Zara had had enough. Maybe it was the lack of coffee, maybe she was just plain tired, but she gave in. “You’re right,” she said to get them off her back. “I am seeing someone and I’m not sure he’ll be able to get the time off work so I haven’t booked it yet.”

“Well, book a room, honey. Flights can be refunded but the rooms are selling out fast,” her mother told her like she didn’t already know.

“I know, I know,” Zara replied. “I’ll book in the next couple of days, okay? You know I’d never miss Skye’s wedding.” As unconvinced as her parents were, they accepted her answered and let her go, for now at least. And once the call was ended, Zara grumbled at her phone before pulling herself from her bed.

It had to be nice to be the favourite child.

Her parents called her a couple of times over the next couple days, wanting to make sure she got a room for her sister’s destination wedding in Tulum, but they also had questions about the new beau she was seeing. Zara tried her best to be vague, saying he was kind and funny and handsome and that they’d love him, but there just wasn’t much to say (given he wasn’t real). Sure, maybe she could have been more detailed, but she didn’t want to over commit and get her story mixed up and expose herself as a phony.

Even if she was.

But the dam blew two weeks later when they called her again because she still hadn’t booked a room.

Zara was at work and she still had her blue medical gloves on as she answered the phone, “hello?”

“Hi, baby! We just wanted to ask again if Prince Charming was coming to the wedding. The nice rooms are almost completely gone so you need to book one regardless of whether he’s coming or not,” her dad told her.

Zara ran her gloves hand over her face and she would have run it through her hair if it wasn’t pulled back, but she nodded, even if her dad couldn’t see her. “We’ll book something soon, I promise,” she answered. “It’s just been a little hectic with work.” Thankfully, the wedding aligned with the All-Star break, but right now Zara was focused on making sure all her guys were good to play, something her football obsessed family didn’t understand.

“So he’s coming?” Her mom butted in.

“I don’t know,” Zara sighed. “He’s working so I don’t know if he can snag that time off.”

“Oh,” the sound was sharp and Zara knew exactly what it meant. They didn’t believe her; didn’t believe he was real. “Of course, sweetie,” her mom said, her words coming out sympathetic, which only made Zara’s blood boil.

“He has a really important job,” she said a little forcefully, but all they did was hum, unconvinced, making Zara wonder if they ever bought her story.

And, because the universe was cruel and unrelenting, Andrei Svechnikov picked that exact moment to come out of the dressing room. He was dressed just in his underarmour and he froze when he saw Zara was on the phone and he instantly picked up that she was stressed. As soon as Zara saw him, she held a finger up to let him know it would just be a minute.

“I will talk to him, I promise,” Zara told her parents. “I know you want to meet him and I will do my best to see if he’ll come.” She continued, knowing damn well that “he” could never go. “But I need to go now, one of the guys needs treatment.”

“Alright,” her dad sighed. “Love you. Talk to you soon.”

“I love you, too,” she replied before she hung up the phone. “Okay, what’s up?” She asked as she took her gloves off to change them, but Andrei only shrugged, his aching shoulder suddenly secondary.

“I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” Andrei replied without missing a beat. If he was being honest, Andrei had had a crush on Zara for years, since she started interning with the Canes. She was beautiful and smart and caring and she had the best laugh and smile and freckles like constellations, and, of course, she was also the best trained he ever had. She always knew exactly what was wrong and how to fix it and her massages were beyond amazing. No one’s touch compared to hers.

So, yeah, sue him for getting a crush on her. It wasn’t like he ever stood a chance with her anyway.

“I’m not,” Zara told him honestly. “My younger sister is getting married in a couple weeks and my parents won’t stop heckling me about who I’m bringing, so I lied,” she explained and gestured to the table. “And now it’s biting me in the ass because they want to meet my extremely vague boyfriend who doesn’t actually exist.” She didn’t know why she was saying all that to Andrei of all people, but it felt good to get it off her chest.

“Oh,” Andrei said quietly as he got on the table, feeling relieved that she wasn’t seeing anyone, and a little guilty he felt relieved when it was clearly stressing her out.

“Yeah,” she sighed before gently touching his shoulder. “Still bothering you?” When he nodded, she began to slowly go through his range of motion, noting any resistance or wince.

“So, what’s your plan then?” He found himself asking as he studied her. She had light freckles dusting her cheeks and incredible green eyes that reminded him of a slice of lime on a summer morning, and when she got closer, he could smell the vanilla perfume she used that always drove him crazy.

“My plan?” She replied, not fully following him as she focused on his shoulder.

“Yeah, with your fake boyfriend and the wedding.”

“Oh,” she whispered and her hands dropped from his for a second as she sighed. “I don’t know,” she confessed quietly. “They already don’t believe he’s real and if he doesn’t go that’ll only confirm it, but, you know, ‘he’ can’t go because he doesn’t really exist.” Zara shook her head before continuing his treatment.

“You could bring someone to the wedding to pretend to be your boyfriend,” Andrei suggested. “It would only be a couple hours.”

It… Honestly wouldn’t be the worst idea if it was only a couple of hours, but it would be much, much longer than that.

“It’s a destination wedding. In Mexico,” she sighed. “It would be a week trip.”

Andrei licked his lips as he thought about it. Trip to Mexico. Pretend to be Zara’s boyfriend for a week, maybe even get a kiss or two, see Zara in a bikini, share a room with her—

“Okay, big boy, how’s that feeling?” She asked and gave his arm a pat, pulling him from his thoughts.

He rolled his shoulder and nodded. “Still sore but better.” There were no easy rehabs and he knew that. As amazing as Zara was, she couldn’t fix everything with a single touch.

She nodded and helped him sit up. “Ice it at home, okay?” She told him and he nodded, but he was still caught up on her fake boyfriend.

“When is the wedding?” He had to ask.

“January 27th,” she replied absent mindedly as she took her gloves off. Bye-week, Andrei realized. Perfect.

“You know…” he started and tilted his chin up. “I could be your fake boyfriend.”

Zara instantly laughed, but it died on her tongue when she looked over at him. “Wait…” She said slowly. “You’re not serious, are you?”

He shrugged her laugh off, “why wouldn’t I be? I’d be a great boyfriend, very loving. Mothers love me. I’m hot. Plus, a trip to Mexico would be nice.”

“Oh my God, you’re serious,” she said softly and he nodded.

Zara was quiet for a long moment as she looked at him. He wasn’t wrong. Of course he wasn’t wrong. He was tall and attractive and a fucking amazing hockey player and guy. He’d be a perfect boyfriend—fake boyfriend—if they didn’t work together, if she didn’t work for him, but she did.

“Look, Svech, it’s really sweet of you to offer, but we work together and you’re honestly a little young for me anyway,” she did her best to let him down gently, her chest tightening just a little at the way he furrowed his brows.

“Too young for you?” He repeated back to her in disbelief. He had been called a lot of things in his life, but never ‘too young’ for someone. “I’m not a kid. I’m a big boy, you said it yourself.”

“Svech,” she almost pleaded. She was used to being hit on by the guys, she couldn’t be an NHL trainer without being hit on along the way, but the Canes were nothing compared to the Charlotte Checkers and the Green Bay Gamblers before them and she didn’t want to fight with Andrei.

It was his turn to sigh and he got off the table and stepped closer to her, reminding her just how much bigger than her he was. “I’m a big boy,” he repeated as he held her gaze. “I may be young, but trust me, I know how to care for a woman. So, the offer stands. If you don’t want to prove that your parents were right about your boyfriend not being real, I will be your fake boyfriend for the week,” he told her and he let his eyes dip down her body as he bit his lip before he turned and walked out the door, leaving Zara standing there alone.

She shook her head as she stood there but she didn’t get much time to think before Necas walked in looking for treatment too and she did her best to push Andrei from her thoughts to focus on him.

Not that it really worked.

By the time she was in bed at home, she could still hear her parents’ voices in her head and it made her stomach twist as she tossed and turned. She didn’t want them to think they were right (even if they were). She didn’t want to be the lonely one who always lucked out with a guy. For once, she wanted to prove to her parents that she could get a guy, a nice guy, and that she was happy. It didn’t seem that hard on paper, but every day the wedding got closer and she was running out of options. None of her dates in the last month made it to a second date.

Andrei was charming and attractive and every girl he met seemed to be smitten with him, not that Zara was. Sure, he was a face of the franchise and he had lived alone in Raleigh since he was eighteen, but he also thought it was hilarious that he finished last season with 69 points and overused “that’s what she said” like a middle schooler.

But Zara was 29. She wanted a real man who knew what he wanted and could accept her job and was ready to settle down and start a family. Andrei was none of those things.

He was young. A kid. With his whole career and life ahead of him. And maybe she wasn’t actually part of the team, part of the guys, but she overheard them talk about his exploits and she just didn’t want anything to do with them and couldn’t imagine him bring the Prince Charming she brought to meet her parents.

It was just a matter of whether she’d prefer proving her parents right… or Andrei.

--

Zara spent a week thinking about it.

But, of course her parents called every single day, which was insufferable, and she could still hear Andrei offering to be her fake boyfriend in her head and when her mother said condescendingly, “I’m sure this so-called boyfriend is nice, sweetie,” Zara snapped. For once, just for once, Zara wished she could be left alone with her love life and seen for literally anything else. But no, she was the single one with no prospects and no children and she was pushing thirty so the clock was ticking, like she didn’t already know that.

“He has a name,” she replied firmly.

“Oh, does he now?” Her mom asked, unconvinced.

All her reservations went out the door when she said, “his name is Andrei. He’s on the team.”

Her mom was quiet for a long moment, “oh.”

“We’re not supposed to be seeing each other because we work together and if they find out I could lose my job,” Zara said softly, not really believing she was actually doing this.

“Right, of course, sweetie,” her mom said quickly, already googling ‘Andre Carolina Hurricanes NHL’ on her phone. “Oh, isn’t he cute,” her mom said as she clicked on photos. “Andrei Svech-ne-cove?”

“Svechnikov,” Zara corrected quickly, her chest tight with anxiety. There was no going back. Noe she’ll always be known as the girl that couldn’t keep the NHL player.

“Andrei Svechnikov,” her mom repeated back to her. “I sure hope he’s able to come, I’d love to meet him.”

“He’s great,” Zara found herself saying. “A total sweetheart and a giant teddy bear.”

“And good at that hockey thing according to Google.”

Zara took a deep breath, “yeah, yeah he is.”

A moment later she could hear ruffling in the background and her dad’s muffled voice and then her mom explained who Andrei was and it only made her stomach tighten with anxiety. Of course, Andrei had offered, but that had been two weeks ago and there was no saying he’d still be interested, still be available.

“Well, guys, I kinda have to go, so I love you and have a good night,” she told them and two ‘I love you’s later she hung up the phone. She dropped her phone on her lap before she grabbed her pillow and screamed into it.

She bit off more than she could chew and she knew it. Her little web of lies had gotten too big and she couldn’t take it back.

Andrei, whether he went to the wedding or not, had just become her fake boyfriend.

--

She wasn’t herself at work the next day and all the guys could tell. She wasn’t as chatty or smiley, really she seemed to frown more than anything else, and she brushed off anyone who asked if she was okay. Until Andrei that was.

As soon as Andrei asked her if something was wrong, the words tumbled from her lips. “Did you mean it?” She asked, making him furrow his brows.

“Mean what, Z?” He asked as he looked up at her from the treatment table.

“That you’d pretend to be my boyfriend,” she replied simply.

Andrei was quiet for a moment before he nodded, “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.”

“Okay,” she swallowed. “So, here’s the thing. I kinda told my parents that you were the mystery fake boyfriend.” She missed the way he perked up as she rolled him onto his side to work on his shoulder. “So… If you’re still interested and available… I will book the flights and hotel.” The words tasted bitter in her mouth but she didn’t have another option. She had put the nails in her own coffin.

“Book it,” he told her. He wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity.

“Really?” She asked, not entirely convinced, but he nodded.

“I’ll be the best fake boyfriend, I promise,” he smiled. At the very least it gave him a way to show her he wasn’t a kid. At most, it gave him a chance to show her how good a boyfriend he could be.

As soon as she was done with his treatment, Zara said, “I’ll take care of everything and text you the details, okay?”

“Sounds good,” he smiled as he sat up. When she turned, he let his eyes run down her body and bit his lip when his eyes reached her ass but quickly pulled his gaze back up when she turned back to him.

“You’ll need a suit for the wedding, but it’s on the beach so nothing too heavy, probably don’t need a tie but bring a few just in case,” she continued. “A couple different nice shirts for dinners, too. And when whatever you’d normally pack for a trip to Mexico in January.”

Andrei nodded, “and what colour is your dress?” He asked, surprising Zara.

“What colour is my dress?”

“Yeah, you know, for the pocket square and tie?” He shrugged. “If I’m your boyfriend I should match you.”

Zara was quiet. She honestly hadn’t even thought about it. “Sage,” she told him and when he furrowed his brows, she continued. “I’ll send you a picture.”

Andrei smiled as she nodded and it made her stomach twist in a way she couldn’t explain but she quickly tried to cover it up as she shooed him toward the door. “Now skidaddle, I have others to see.”

Andrei held his hands up as he laughed but nodded as he started toward the door. He paused in the entry and looked back at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Should I call you ‘baby’ now? Or maybe ‘babe’? Oh, no, how about ‘boo’?” He asked and Zara didn’t hesitate to throw her balled up gloves at him.

“Shoo!” She told him, but of course he caught the gloves with ease as he laughed and tossed them into the bin before walking out of the room, leaving Zara more flustered than she should have been.

Fucking Andrei.

--

As soon as she got home, Zara popped open a bottle of red wine and flopped on the couch. She had perfectly good stir-fry in the fridge but she pulled up Uber Eats on her phone and searched for her favourite burger joint and made sure to add an extra side of fries to her order. It was only once her order was in that she grabbed her computer off the coffee table and pulled up flights.

It didn’t take her long to book the flight. It was only a three-hour flight so she booked economy. Once she got the confirmation email, she pulled up Skye and Toby’s wedding website and clicked the link for the hotel. They were at least able to get a good deal for the wedding package and amount of rooms booked.

Of course, Zara didn’t hesitate to book the room with two queens, only giving the pictures a quick flip though. It didn’t matter what it looked like anyway, but she had to admit that it was nicer than she was expecting. It was a suit, almost, with a small living area down a few steps with a balcony, and a huge bathroom with a glass shower and a soaker tub.

It was nice. Really nice, actually. And the perfect place to spend a trip with a significant other.

Zara sighed and closed her laptop. She grabbed her phone and screenshotted the confirmation emails and sent them to Andrei along with the links to the hotel and the wedding website. And, in turn Andrei fashion, he replied just a few minutes later with a series of beach and wedding emojis that had Zara rolling her eyes.

This was definitely going to be a bad idea.

- January -

The flight from Tulum was on a Monday and they carpooled to the airport.

It was still dark out when Zara picked Andrei up, but that didn’t stop him from being full of energy and smiles, which, of course, only made Zara more tense and she drove to the airport with white knuckles.

Getting checked in and through security was easy enough, even if Andrei did get ‘randomly selected’ for a secondary inspection. But, even with the delay, they were still there a good couple of hours early and had to wait for their flight. Zara was fine, she had no problem finding a seat and getting her kindle out. She could use the time to get back into Romancing Mr Bridgerton ahead of the next season. Andrei, on the other hand, couldn’t sit still and kept getting up to wander around and check out the nearby stores. But, as long as he was back to board, Zara didn’t care.

It was easy for Zara to get drawn back into her book and before she knew it, they were boarding first class. “Come on,” Andrei said as he nudged her and grabbed his carry on.

“It’s first class,” she told him, thinking he hadn’t heard correctly.

“I know. I upgraded us,” he explained and nodded toward the gate. “Come on.” Zara made a strangled sound in her throat but couldn’t exactly argue with him, so she nodded with tight lips and put her kindle away and grabbed her bag.

First class was, as expected, nice. There was more space, which Andrei needed. Even after years of working with him, Zara sometimes forgot how big he really was. At almost a foot taller than her, of course he’d want the extra room. They also served lunch in first class and they both selected the salad, wanting to keep things light in the air.

They were both more than used to flying, so it was easy for them to settle in. But every minute in the air was another minute closer to her family and the wedding, which left Zara so on edge that Andrei ordered her a mini bottle of vodka to go with her orange juice.

“I’m fine,” she tried to wave him off, but he shook his head and poured it into her glass.

“It’ll take the nerves off,” he told her and passed her the glass. “I didn’t know flying made you nervous.”

“It doesn’t,” she corrected and begrudgedly took the glass from him. She grimaced as the vodka burnt her throat and put it back down on her tray. It was a little strong for her liking. “I’m nervous about my family seeing through us.”

“They won’t,” he tried to reassure her, but she shook her head.

“Can we go over our story?” She asked and he nodded.

“Of course.”

“Okay, so, we’ve been friends and colleagues for years but we got closer with your shoulder injury and you asked me out and I said no but you were persistent and eventually I caved and we’ve been together ever since,” she said, having thought about a good story for them ever since she told her parents they were together.

Andrei titled his head to the side as he looked at her. “I was thinking more like that we hooked up and I blew your mind and you came back for more and we’ve been together ever since,” he said making Zara take a big sip of her drink as she blushed.

“Absolutely not.”

But it’s true, I would blow your mind,” he told her and licked his lips as he looked at her.

“No,” she said firmly and Andrei sighed as he leaned back into his seat.

“Okay, so how long have we been together then? Three months?” He asked after a moment.

“Works for me,” Zara nodded.

“I took you out to a nice Italian restaurant, you had the pomodoro, I had the chicken parmesan and we split deserve, even if it meant cheating on my diet. I walked you up to your apartment and kissed you goodnight,” he continued and Zara tightened her grip on her glass. She didn’t want to admit how nice that sounded.

“Perfect,” she nodded and finished her drink, even if it burned. Though, she quickly regretted it when Andrei asked his next question.

“And when did we first fuck?”

Zara choked on her drink and coughed as she blushed, but when she finally managed to catch her breath, she said, “we haven’t yet.”

Andrei raised an eyebrow at her, “we’ve been together for three months and haven’t fucked yet?”

“I like to take things slow,” she said, even if it wasn’t really true, and she wished she still had some of her drink left.

Andrei didn’t shy away from checking her out again, which only made her blush harder, before he shrugged, “okay, we’re taking it slow.”

He fell quiet after that and Zara appreciated it and let her eyes close as she tried to tell herself that everything would be fine. But, like most nice things in the world, the quiet didn’t last long.

“I’m an affectionate guy, so how much PDA do you want?” He asked.

“Whatever is natural. I don’t want it to be too much, especially considering it’s my sister’s wedding,” she replied after a moment and Andrei nodded.

“No problem. I’m a great boyfriend.”

Zara sighed, “so you keep saying. As long as you fool my family, that’s all that matters to me. Then in a few weeks I’ll tell them we broke up and it’ll be like it never happened.”

Her words made him frown and he looked out the window. “Yeah,” he whispered a moment later. “Like it never happened.” The words tasted sour in his mouth and he hoped he could change her mind.

--

The air in Cancun was thick and hot and Zara felt like she was being suffocated, but Andrei just pulled his hoodie over his head and stuffed it into his bag. After they got through customs and grabbed their luggage, they made their way to find their shuttle, which took nearly two hours to get to their resort, but Andrei kept smiling as he looked out the window at the palm trees and sandy beaches and ocean.

“Barnaul is in the middle of Russia. All buildings. There’s the Ob Rivers, yeah, but it’s not like this,” he shook his head. “It’s so beautiful here.” It wasn’t the first time he had been in Mexico, but he’d never get tired of the endless beach and sun.

“It is,” Zara agreed softly, but she found herself watching Andrei more than the passing trees.

She always knew she had it good in life. She got to go to a good school out of state that her parents helped pay for, even though she got a scholarship. She always had food to eat and presents on Christmas and birthdays, and her parents were funding Skye’s destination wedding. But she was reminded of all that all over again as she looked at Andrei who had to work—and continued to work—for everything he had.

Her heart panged in her chest as she realized that maybe Andrei wasn’t so much childish but finally getting to experience the childhood he never had.

By the time they got to the resort, it was already mid-afternoon. Andrei stayed with their bags as Zara went to check in. “For Roberts, Zara,” she said, quickly adding her first name when she realized there would be a lot of Roberts in for the week.

“Ah, yes! Mr and Mrs Svechnikov, yes?” The concierge asked a moment later and Zara’s head jerked back.

“Uh, I guess, yeah,” she replied awkwardly and check in seemed to go by quickly as she struggled to figure out how the hell they figured she was Mrs Svechnikov when she made the reservations under Roberts. But, he gave her two room keys and explained how to get to their building and room and sent her on her way.

“Something wrong? You look flustered,” Andrei commented once she got back to him.

“He called me Mrs Svechnikov,” she mumbled and Andrei furrowed his brows as he looked at her, not quite catching it so she repeated it louder. “He called me Mrs Svechnikov.”

The corner of his lip twitched up as he looked at her. “Mrs Svechnikov, huh? It does have a nice ring to it,” he teased, making Zara roll her eyes and take her suitcase from him.

“Come on, we’re in the Sea Turtle building, third floor,” she grumbled and started in the direction she was told to go in. Andrei laughed that deep, hearty laugh that gave her butterflies no matter how much she tried to shake them and started after her.

It didn’t take them long to get to the room, but by the time they got there, Zara was ready to change into something lighter. She unlocked the door and pushed it open but stood aside for Andrei to step in before following him in and she froze just inside the door as her eyes locked onto the single piece of furniture in the middle of the room.

No.

No. No. No.

She definitely, 100%, booked a room with two queens. She sent the confirmation to Andrei and it was two queens. There had to be some kind of mistake, this shouldn’t be happening, it—

“Cozy,” Andrei smirked as he jumped on the bed but Zara didn’t move.

“No, no I booked a room with two queens, I sent you the confirmation, remember?” She said quickly.

Andrei looked around the room. “I don’t see another bed,” he said, pointing out the obvious before he smirked back at her. “Looks like it’s ours, Mrs Svechnikov.”

Zara flushed a dark red as she stepped further into the room, letting the door slam behind her. “Shut up,” she hissed and picked up the phone. “I’m calling the front desk and I’ll get it sorted out.” Andrei pouted as he watched her call the front desk. “Hi, this is Zara Roberts in room 1304, I think there’s been a misunderstanding because I booked two queens but was given a king room.” She was quiet for a long moment before she tensed. “No, I booked a room with two queens—Can I change the reservation to two queens?” She pinched the bridge of her nose as she went back and forth with the front desk for a few minutes before she sighed and grumbled a “thank you” and hung up and Andrei’s smirk only made her scowl.

“They said the reservation was changed from two queens to a king and they have no rooms available for the length of our stay,” she explained, but it didn’t make sense to her. She never changed her reservation and she had the confirmation email of two queens and the only person who could have changed it was—

“Skye,” she breathed. “I think my sister messed with the reservation.”

“So this is our room?” Andrei asked for confirmation and she nodded.

“This is our room.”

Andrei smirked as he made himself comfortable on the bed, hands behind his head as he looked at her, “comfy.”

“I’m sure,” she replied, barely giving him a look before she started unpacking. She knew the trip would be a bad idea and it was proving itself to be. Sharing a bed with Andrei? Could this trip get any worse?

Andrei watched her carefully and he thought she was cute when she was flustered. “I’m taking it sleeping naked is out of the question?” He asked after a few moments and she spun around to look at him, blushing all over again.

“Absolutely no sleeping naked!” She told him. “And I’m building a pillow wall between us so no funny business, Svechnikov.”

“You’re no fun,” he teased with a smile.

“We barely know each other and have to share a bed. I think I’m within reason,” Zara replied and went back to unpacking.

“But it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve gotten your hands on my body,” he said, making Zara turn back around to glare at him, but he only smiled.

“Underwear stays on,” Zara told him and, honestly, he’d take that, so he nodded.

“Underwear says on,” he agreed before getting up to start unpacking, too.

They had reservations with her family at the Italian restaurant at 7pm, but it was only half past three and by the time they finished unpacking it was only 4pm, so they had time. Andrei investigated the room after unpacking, and it wasn’t unlike the link Zara had sent him—minus a bed of course—it had a small living area with a table and TV three steps down from the main room with the bed, a large bathroom with a separate tub and huge shower, but the standout of the room was the view of the ocean from the balcony.

“You need to check this out,” Andrei told her as he stood on the balcony. “It’s so beautiful.”

Zara made her way out and she had to admit that he was right. It was beautiful. They had a perfect view of the ocean and she could even hear the soft waves hitting the beach. “Wow,” she breathed.

“We have to go check it out,” Andrei said as he turned to her.

“We have—"

“Reservations with your family at seven, I know. But it’s only four. We can check out the beach for an hour,” he said and, well, he wasn’t wrong, so she nodded and Andrei’s smile widen before he rushed back into the room to change into his swim trunks as Zara rolled her eyes. Once Andrei was done changing in the bathroom—it only took a minute—Zara changed into a bikini with a cover up and Andrei was only a little disappointed.

But the beach was wonderful.

The sand was soft and the water cool and refreshing against the Mexican sun. Zara stayed on the beach, letting the water cool her feet and ankles as she walked with her sandals in her hand, but Andrei didn’t hesitate to run into the water and let her know how nice it was, which made her laugh. Andrei had no problem letting the water splash against him and even dunked under a few waves, completely drenching himself. And when they got back to their room to get ready for dinner, Zara told him that he smelt like salt, but he only shrugged.

Dinner was at the upscale Italian restaurant. Andrei wore slacks and a button down with a suit jacket while Zara wore a knee length floral dress. Zara got ready quickly, terrified of being late to dinner and she ignored Andrei’s eyerolls as they left for dinner 15 minutes early despite it being a stroll away.

The sun hung low in the sky as they walked toward the restaurant with a good foot between them, much to Andrei’s dismay. Other than Zara’s heels clicking against the walkway, they were quiet. Or they were until Zara broke it. “How did we meet?” She asked Andrei.

“Huh?” He replied on default, furrowing his brows as he looked over at her.

“Us. Our story. How did we meet?” She repeated.

Andrei took a deep breath. “At work. You’re one of the trainers. I had a crush on you for the longest time and asked you out and you said no but I was persistent and you finally said yes,” Andrei replied, wishing it was true.

“And I accepted because…?” Zara continued after a moment.

“Because I hurt my shoulder and you made it better so we spent more time together and you fell for me like I fell for you.” Each word felt like a dagger, but Andrei ignored it. “Your favourite wine is pinot grigio, you like your coffee with almond milk and half a sugar, your favourite meal is pasta, even if you pretend it’s teriyaki chicken, you like milk chocolate and mango smoothies, and as much as you pretend to like being alone, you actually hate it.”

Zara’s step stumbled and she stopped waking as she looked at Andrei. She never told him any of those things but they were all right. She didn't know where he learned it, but he knew her better than she thought he did.

Andrei continued walking for another few feet before he realized Zara wasn’t next to him and stopped. “Are you okay?” He asked, looking back at her. It pulled Zara out of her thoughts and she shook her head before forcing a smile.

“I’m good,” she told him and quickly walked up to him. “Just glad you remembered our story.”

“How could I forget?” Andrei replied, but Zara ignored him as she kept walking. Andrei watched as she walked past him, his eyes dropping to her ass for half a moment before he started after her. Andrei called her name as he caught up with her before he reached out to rest his hand on her lower back. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked.

Zara forced a smile and kept walking, but Andrei kept looking at her with a concerned expression, making her break. “I just don’t want them to figure us out,” she told him and Andrei’s lip twitched down.

“They’re not,” he reassured her. “I will be a perfect boyfriend and everything will be fine.”

She leaned into him just a little as she walked and he smoothed his hand down her back. She didn’t want to admit it, but he really was warm, and in her heels, her shoulder tucked just under his. She tried her best, but it was really hard to ignore how perfect she fit in his arms, and she was so caught up in him she didn't realize they had made it to the restaurant until Andrei pulled his hand back. Zara instantly felt cold without it and she ran her hand over her arm as she shivered before she walked over to the hostess, missing the way Andrei ran his hands down his pants.

“Hi, reservation for Ro—“ Zara was cut off by Andrei’s hand on her lower back.

“Sorry,” he whispered and pulled Zara to the side a bit. “Don’t kill me but I forgot my phone so I’m gonna run back and grab it.”

She shook her head as she reached out to hold his wrist, “what? No. You don’t need your phone anyway.”

Andrei’s shoulders fell as he winced. “I won’t even be five minutes, okay? What if we go for a walk on the beach after? Or see like a pretty bird?”

“Andrei—“

“Not even five minutes,” he told her and kissed her cheek before gently pulling his wrist from her hand and walking back toward their room, leaving Zara alone in the front of the restaurant feeling more than a little exposed.

She ran her hands over her arms as she watched him walk away before she re-approached the hostess and introduced herself, and the hostess happily walked her over to the table along the back wall filled with her family and Zara did her best to force a smile as she approached, really wishing Andrei was there.

Skye was the first one to see her and her sister’s eyes lit up, “Zara!”

At least Skye’s excitement was enough to pull a real smile from Zara. Sure, it hadn’t been that long since they last saw each other, it hadn’t even been a month since Christmas, but Zara still missed her little sister.

It took Skye a moment to get out from between their mom and Toby, but once she did, she pulled Zara into a hug and Zara laughed as she hugged her back. “What? No white dress? I thought the bride-to-be was supposed to be in white.”

“Shut up,” Skye whispered and gave her sister a playful shove. “It’s good to see you. But…” There was nothing subtle about the way Skye looked around in search of Zara’s ‘boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I thought you were bringing a plus one,” her mom added. “Did something happen, honey?”

“He’s here,” Zara replied firmly, giving her mom a pointed look.

“Is he?” She asked and Zara clenched her jaw.

“He just forgot something in the room and ran back to get it.” Her mom hummed, but didn’t seem all that impressed, making Zara take a deep breath. But the touch on the small of her back startled her before she could say anything else and when she turned, her found Andrei’s familiar smile.

“Sorry about that, kisa,” he said and kissed her cheek before turning to give her family a charming smile. “You must be Mr and Mrs Roberts, it’s so nice to see you,” he said and there was no mistaking the shock in her mom’s eyes, which only spurred him on. He shook her dad’s hand before taking her mom’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I can see where Zara gets her good looks from.”

Her mom laughed and gave Andrei’s arm a playful shove before running her hand down his arm when she felt how firm he was and Zara rolled her eyes. “See?” She said, her tone sharp. “Very real.”

“I never said he wasn’t,” her mom replied before turning back to Andrei. “And please call me Sheryl. My husband is Dan, Skye of course, and Toby, her fiancé.”

“Ah, yes,” Andrei smiled and turned to Skye. “The beautiful bride, Zara has told me so much about you, and congratulations on the wedding.”

“Thank you,” she smiled back and let her eyes drop over him before giving Zara a nod of approval which made Zara shake her head.

“Let’s sit?” She said and gestured for Andrei to sit but he ignored it in favour of pulling her chair out for her. Zara’s lips tightened as she looked at him but his smile only grew as she resigned and let him tuck her in before he shrugged his suit jacket off to hang over the back of his chair. When he sat down across from Toby, he let his arm rest on the back of her chair.

Waters had already been brought to the table, so Zara reached out and took a big sip of hers, already wishing it was stronger, especially when Andrei’s thumb brushed the back of her shoulder.

“So,” Sheryl smiled. “Andrei, right? My daughter has not been very forthcoming about you, so please tell us about yourself.”

Andrei nodded, “yeah, sure. I’m Andrei, I’m from Russia, I play for the Hurricanes. I met Zara at work and always thought she was amazing. It took me a few months to win her over, but she finally came around and it’s been great. Your daughter is incredible, Mr and Mrs Roberts. Honestly, I still can’t believe she’s really mine.” His gaze softened as he looked at Zara but she didn’t look back at him and everyone but her could see the adoration he had for her in his eyes.

Skye nudged Zara under the table to get her sister’s attention. “You turned him down for months? Are you crazy?”

Zara shrugged, “I didn’t know if he was serious.”

“I’ve always been serious about you,” Andrei replied and smiled at Zara when she looked up at him.

Zara didn’t know how to respond and Andrei’s smile softened as he reached out to brush a piece of her hair behind her ears and Zara’s breath caught in her throat before she pulled away to look at the menu in front of her. Andrei’s lip twitched down for half a moment before he pushed his smile back up and glanced down at his menu, his arm still resting on the back of her chair.

Zara ordered the fettuccini alfredo while Andrei ordered the chicken parmesan, as did Toby, while Skye ordered the pomodoro, and her parents the bolognese, and after the waiter came by to fill their wine glasses, Sheryl’s attention once again fell to Andrei.

Andrei was, in their mind, Zara’s first serious relationship in years and Sheryl had been convinced she was lying until she saw him with her own eyes. Still, she was skeptical and even if it was clear by the way he looked at her daughter that he cared about her, she wanted to know if he was the real deal, if he was good for her.

Zara griped her wine glass and fork tightly as her mother continued to direct questions toward Andrei, terrified that he was going to slip, but he never did. Andrei was more than used to pressure and high stakes situations and being questioned by a mother was easy in comparison, and he was determined to make Sheryl like him. He had never met a mother that didn’t like him and Sheryl wasn’t going to be the first.

“So, are you close to Zara’s age, then? You look fairly young,” her mother said between bites. Sure, Andrei was tall and strong but there was no denying the youth beneath his features.

“No, I’m actually 22, almost 23,” he replied with a smile and Zara gripped her fork a little tighter.

“22,” her mom repeated and looked at Zara. “A little young, don’t you think?”

Zara reached for her wine as she shook her head, “I don’t think so.”

“Same age as me and I’m getting married this week,” Skye butted in, but her mom kept looking at Zara.

Andrei picked his napkin up to wipe his mouth and after Zara put her wine glass back on the table, he took her hand in his and ran his thumb over her knuckles, “I know seven years seems like a lot but I’m serious about your daughter, Mrs Roberts.”

He had her breath catching again and she forced a smile as she leaned into him, “he’s really mature for him age and we just really hit it off.”

Andrei nodded before looking at her and kissing her temple. Zara felt her cheeks heat up with a soft blush and she pulled her hand from his to reach for her wine again. “But enough about us, it’s Skye’s week!” Zara tried to change the subject. Her mother studied her for a moment longer before she sighed and let it go. She’d have all week to get to know Andrei a little more.

The rest of dinner was about the happy couple and the wedding and Skye’s whole face lit up as she talked about the plans and Toby looked at her like she hung the stars in the night sky and it made Zara’s heart ache. She was more than happy for her sister; she was happy that her sister was happy and loved and getting the wedding of her dreams with the man of her dreams, it was just that she wanted it, too, and Andrei’s hand on her thigh only reminded her of how alone she really was.

Not that anyone noticed if she ate her pasta with a tight grip on her fork.

By the time they finished dinner, it was getting late and between the travel and the wine and the full stomach, the exhaustion was starting to hit Zara and she was ready to curl into bed. Not that she was looking forward to curling into bed with Andrei.

They had just started back toward their building when Skye caught up to them. She gave Andrei a smile before pulling Zara aside, “I’ll bring her back in a second.”

Zara gave her sister a confused look but let Skye pull her a little down the path. “Dude! You like totally scored!” Skye told her, looking over Zara’s shoulder at Andrei. “I honestly can’t believe he’s really your boyfriend. I mean, tall, dark, and handsome? Pro athlete? Rich? I thought you made him up.”

“Yes, I totally lied about dating the team superstar,” Zara deadpanned as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on. NHL player? Working together? You can’t really blame me. But wow, he’s amazing. And he looks at you like you’re his sun. And that accent? He’s like the whole package.”

Something in Zara twisted at her sister’s words and she looked over her shoulder at Andrei who gave her a small smile that she struggled to return before she looked back at her sister. “Yeah, he’s pretty great,” Zara told her before clearing her throat. “Now, did you fuck with my reservation?”

“I did no such thing,” Skye replied. “I just upgraded you two to the king room since one became available. You know, more space for you two.” She winked and Zara bit her tongue as she gave her sister a bitter smile. “Enjoy,” Skye added before she pulled back to rejoin her fiancé.

Zara just shook her head and when she looked over, she found Andrei still looking at her. She took a deep breath before she gestured that he could come over and he nodded before catching up with her and Zara ran her hands over her arms as he approached, a shiver running down her spine as he touched her hip.

“Are you cold?” He asked. She shook her head, she wasn’t really, and their room wasn’t far. But when she shivered at the breeze, Andrei didn’t believe her and he draped his suit jacket over her shoulders. Zara froze as she looked up at him, her breath catching in her throat but he just shrugged and walked another couple steps before realizing she wasn’t next to him and turned back. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly and took a deep breath, the scent of him consuming her and she swallowed before catching up with him. “Thank you,” she added with a small smile.

He returned her smile but kept his hands by his side as they walked and Zara did her best to ignore how he was the first and only guy to give her his jacket and how much she liked it.

--

Once they got into their room, Zara took the bathroom first to take her make up off and brush her teeth as Andrei changed and when she was done, they switched places. Zara changed into a light, loose fitting t-shirt and shorts while Andrei went for the underwear only look, which made Zara glare at him.

“What? You said ‘absolutely no sleeping naked’ and ‘underwear stays on’,” he argued and she knew she stood no chance, so she sighed and pulled the sheets up to cover herself.

Getting into bed was easy. It was the settling that was hard. Zara stayed true to her word and built a pillow wall between them that made Andrei roll his eyes.

The room was hot, even with the ceiling fan, and Zara just couldn’t get comfortable. She kept tossing and turning and tossing and turning and it drove Andrei crazy. He was more than used to unpleasant sleeping arrangements. He slept in the same bed as his brother for years and then he was billeting and had road roomies for years with the Colts and Canes. But this was different.

After what felt like forever, the exhausted from the travel and dinner with her family hit and Zara finally settled and they were both able to get from shut eye, not that it was as deep a sleep as either would have liked, the weight of an unfamiliar place and sharing a bed hanging over them.

When Zara woke the next morning, her pillow wall was only half intact as Andrei spooned the pillows. He had fallen asleep with his back to her, but he had to have turned sometime in the night and he ended up in the middle of the bed with his arms wrapped around the pillow wall and his face pressed into it.

His face was mostly hidden by the pillows but she could see a small, content smile on his lips as he slept and his hair hung over his forehead. It was long and she couldn’t remember the last time he cut it, but she liked it. He looked younger as he slept, Zara decided, and part of her wanted to reach out and brush his hair back from his face, but as quickly as the thought came, she pushed it aside and got up. By the time she came out of the bathroom, Andrei was up, too.

Tuesday was really the only day Zara had to herself during wedding week, if Skye didn’t call with some cupcake emergency that is, and she fully intended to spend it on the beach. The beaches in South Carolina were nice, but not this nice.

So, after the breakfast buffet, she changed into a bikini and lathered herself in sunscreen and stepped out of the bathroom.It was a simple green bikini but the ties rested high on her hips and the green brought out her eyes and Andrei took a sharp breath in as he ran his eyes down her body.

So that’s what she had been hiding under her team jacket and t-shirts.

Her breasts bounced just a little as she walked and Andrei’s eyes were locked on them. He groaned softly to himself, making Zara look over at him. “You good?” She asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah,” he nodded and cleared his throat.

“Ready to hit the beach then?” She asked and he nodded.

“Oh definitely,” he smiled and slipped his sunglasses on so he could continue to check her out without her noticing.

Zara nodded and pulled a cover up on before she slipped her flipflops on and started toward the door with her kindle in hand and Andrei took the opportunity to run his eyes down to her ass and bit his lip. But she stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned back to him, making his eyes snap up to hers. “Did you put sunscreen on?” She asked. “Because I’m sensing there isn’t much sun in Russia and I don’t want to spend the rest of the trip listening to you moan and groan and having to rub aloe on your burns.”

Andrei rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, “I put sunscreen on. I will be fine.” Zara took a deep breath as she looked him over but nodded and they made their way down to the beach.

The sun was warm above them, the sand soft beneath their feet, and the smell of sea salt was thick in the air. Zara grabbed two towels from the towel desk and found a pair of empty beach chairs with a cabana and made herself comfortable.

“You’re really going to read on the beach?” Andrei asked as she took her cover up off and pulled her kindle out.

“Yes,” she replied simply. “Enjoy the sun and sound of the ocean while I read.”

Andrei scoffed. “Lame,” he told her and pulled his shirt over his head without knocking his sunglass off. “I’m going to swim because that’s what you’re supposed to do at the beach.” Zara’s eyes dropped down his body for a moment before she looked back at her kindle. She had seen him without a shirt more times than she could count over the years, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate what was in front of her.

“You’ll have to let me know how it is,” she said without looking at him.

“I will,” he replied and put his sunglass on his chair before kicking his flipflops off and starting toward the water.

There was no testing the water for Andrei, he ran right into it and once he was deep enough, he dove in. Zara shook her head but she couldn’t pull her eyes away. His head poked up from the water a moment later and he shook his head like a dog before running his hand through his hair, not that it mattered because a moment later he flopped back into the water.

Zara’s book was forgotten as she watched him splash and drift in the water and if she lost sight of him because he went under a wave, it never took her long to find his broad shoulders again. She’d know those shoulders anywhere.

She didn’t know how long he was in the water, but she watched him until he emerged from the ocean. His blue swim trunks had fallen lower on his hips from the waves and clung to his body and he ran his hand through his hair to push the wet strands from his face. The water dripped off him with every step and Zara’s mouth went dry as she watched him, the rest of the beach suddenly seemed secondary, as if—

“Oh my God, that guy in the blue trunks is SO fucking hot.”

“Wher—Oh, oh fuck he is. He’s a tree I’d like to climb.”

“I think I’d rather have him climb me.”

The voices of two girls pulled Zara from her thoughts (or lack thereof). It left a sour taste in her mouth and she shot the girls a glare before Andrei approached. He didn’t bother towelling off, just set his shirt on the sand and slid his sunglasses on and flopped down on his chair. His wet skin caught the sun and Zara definitely didn’t notice the way the drops of water collected in the valleys of his abs before running off.

“Refreshing,” Andrei said, snapping her out of her trance and her eyes jumped up to his. The corner of his lip twitched up, “the water. It’s refreshing.”

“Oh,” Zara cleared her throat and she suddenly felt a lot hotter than she did before. “I’m sure it is. It looks nice.” She wondered if it would be refreshing enough to cool the heat crawling through her veins.

Andrei hummed and rested his arms behind his head. “Anyway, I was thinking…” Zara’s stomach instantly twisted. “If we’re dating, we would kiss, yeah? So maybe we should practice?”

Zara threw her flipflop at him.

“No. No practice kissing. No kissing me in front of my family. No kissing. No!” Zara rushed out, her cheeks heating up and she quickly stood up before he could argue. “Watch the stuff, I’m going for a dip.”

Andrei’s lips twitched into a frown as he watched her walk down to the water and not even the cheek action from her skimpy bikini bottoms could ease the ache settling in his chest. He knew he was far from perfect, that he stood next to no chance with a woman as beautiful and smart and amazing as Zara, but it stung.

Zara didn’t last half as long as Andrei did in the water that was chillier than she was expecting, just a quick dip to cool off and clear her thoughts.

She worked with Andrei. She worked for Andrei. Zara had never been attracted to any of the guys she worked with. Of course, she could appreciate that they were attractive, but she had never been attracted to them. She didn’t know why suddenly Andrei was having this effect on her, it made no sense.

She couldn’t be attracted to him.

Could she?

No.

He was the same age as her baby sister.

She couldn’t be attracted to him, whatever she was feeling had to be something else. It had to be nerves about getting found out or for the wedding. That made more sense than being attracted to Andrei Svechnikov.

Unlike Andrei, Zara did towel off when she got out of the water before settling down in her chair and she could feel Andrei’s eyes on her. “You’re right, it is refreshing,” she told him.

It at least made the corner of his lip twitch up. “You know, the volleyball court is empty,” he commented a moment later. “Wanna play a match?”

The real answer was no. She wanted to lounge on the beach and able to actually read a chapter or two and Andrei was the most competitive guy on the team and she already knew he’d win. But, he was doing an excellent job playing the part of her fake boyfriend so the least she could do was play a round of volleyball with him. Knowing him, it would be over quickly anyway.

“Sure,” she nodded and stood up, using the hair elastic on her wrist to pull her wet hair back.

And, ever the gentleman, Andrei waited for her to finish tying her hair back before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Andrei had overheard the girls talking about him, too. He knew he was hot and while he was (technically) single, he wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t available. Really, it would have been the perfect moment to kiss her, even just for practice, but she didn’t want to, so he resorted to other methods.

“Andrei!” She shrieked as he carried her over to the court trying to ignore how easy it was for him to pick her up like that, but he just laughed and when he finally set her back down in the sand, he had a wide grin on his lips that had her stomach doing flips once again. “I can’t believe you just did that,” Zara said breathlessly, but there was a small smile behind her words.

Andrei shrugged, “it was fun.”

Zara shook her head as she laughed and Andrei wished he could bottle the sound. She gave his chest a playful shove before she ducked under the net and grabbed the volleyball and brushed the lose sand off it while Andrei got into position. “Ready?” She asked and when he nodded, she served the ball over the net to him.

Andrei easily volleyed it back to her making her run across the court to hit it back to him and—oh.

Oh.

Andrei’s eyes immediately dropped to her chest. The little bikini didn’t provide much support and her tits bounced with her every step and he groaned under his breath.

When she sent the ball over the net, he purposefully sent it to the other side of the court to watch her run after him. It was too far for Zara to catch, not for her lack of trying. She shook her head as she picked the ball up and wiped the sand off it. “Svechnikov 1, Roberts 0,” she said and served it again.

It was fun playing with him, really, but it went exactly how she thought it would go with Andrei easily racking up the points, sending the ball all over the court, wherever she wasn’t, making her run around the court as she desperately tried to get a point.

A part of Andrei felt guilty for enjoying it so much, but the bigger part of him just wanted to run his hands over her, slowly untie her bikini, trace his lips over her body and bury himself between her thighs, and—

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Zara managed to spike the ball over the net and it hit him right in the… balls.

Well, he kind of deserved that, he thought to himself as he winched out a long string of Russian curses and bent over at the waist with his hand over his crotch.

“Oh my God! Andrei! Fuck, are you okay? I’m so sorry,” Zara rushed out as she ducked under the net and all Andrei could do was give her a thumbs up as he continued to curse in Russian so she knew he wasn’t okay. She was gentle as she touched his shoulder, “I’m so sorry.”

He tried to shrug it off, but there were tears in the corner of his eyes. He had been speared before, taken some shorts to the crotch in games and practice, but he had equipment and padding and there was none of that in swim trunks. “Fuck, Kisa, you got me good,” he told her with a strained laugh.

“I thought you’d see it coming, I didn’t mean to. God, I’m so sorry. Do you need ice or something?” She asked. He would have seen it coming if he wasn’t thinking about everything he wanted to do to her.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” he replied. Karma was an absolute bitch.

“Let’s just go back to the chairs and lay down for a bit,” she suggested and he gave her another thumbs up before straightening up and Zara kept her hand on his lower back like she would if he got hurt in practice or a game as they walked back to their chairs. The trainer in Zara came out and once he was settled, she got a bag of ice from the bar and he thanked her before settling it on his crotch with a groan.

But, even laying on the towel in pain with literal ice on his dick, he couldn’t stop thinking about how hot she looked in that bikini.

He was going to hell.

--

After Andrei felt better, they had dinner at the buffet and Zara could only rationalize that he was trying to eat his discomfort away because she had never seen someone eat so much.

Pasta. Fish. Scrimp. Crab. Bread. Muscles. Chicken. Mozza sticks. Steamed veggies. Clam chowder. Not to mention the four glasses of wine. It would be impressive if it wasn’t also concerning. “You good?” Zara asked, still nursing her second glass of wine.

Andrei nodded, “so good. Everything tastes so good.”

“I gathered,” she laughed and he ran his hands down his chest and stomach.

“I’m so full.”

“I would be surprised if you weren’t. I don’t think I’ve seen someone eat so much and I used to work with junior hockey players.” She forgot that Andrei was only a year older than the oldest to play in the major junior leagues. “I couldn’t imagine you have more space in there. But then again, I was thinking that after the chicken. And the mozza sticks. And the veggies.”

Andrei laughed as he shrugged her off. “As long as you don’t tell the nutritionist.”

“It’ll be our little secret,” Zara nodded and Andrei smiled.

They caught the nightly entertainment after dinner, which was some sort of play. Andrei didn’t fully get it, but Zara was smiling and it was enough for him. By the time it was over, it was pretty late and Zara was ready for bed. Just like the night before, they took turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom before settling into bed. Andrei was still clad in only his underwear so Zara made sure the pillow wall was still intact.

But, to no surprise, that night was just as difficult as the night before.

Zara tossed and turned and stole the blanket when she rolled to the far side of the bed and it drove Andrei crazy. He was used to sharing a bed with someone, his brother, his mother, ex-girlfriends, sloshed teammates that ended up passed out in his bed, but Zara was pushing his limits.

He let her be for the first while, just like he did the night before. But unlike the night before, Zara didn’t pass out from exhaustion and Andrei snapped. “Can we try something?” He asked, but there was an edge to his voice.

“What?” Zara replied, desperate to get comfortable and get some sleep.

“Just… Don’t hit me. Again,” Andrei told her and Zara raised an eyebrow at him. He broke the pillow wall down, glaring when Zara protested and rolled onto his side. He was gentle as he reached over and pulled her back against his chest and she went limp in his arms.

Zara’s head was empty, void of any thoughts because he was pressed completely against her. She could feel every inch of him against her and every muscle and the heat radiated from his skin and she could feel her own flush on her cheeks and the tips of her ears and down her chest.

“Okay?” Andrei asked after Zara had been quiet for a few moments.

“Y-yeah,” Zara replied shakily.

“Okay,” Andrei whispered and pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her soft vanilla scent mixed with the soft smell of sea salt. “Goodnight.”

“G’night,” Zara mumbled back, her heart racing in her chest.

It took her a while to fall asleep, hyperaware of Andrei and every raise and fall of his chest, but his hold on her waist prevented her from moving and tossing and turning and she could feel his heartbeat against her back. Slowly, the tension fell from her shoulders and her eyes got heavy and she let sleep take her.

--

When Zara woke the next morning to the sun streaming through the open curtains, they were still in the same position as they were when the fell asleep: spooning. Andrei still had a tight grip on her and his nose was pressed into her neck and she liked it. She didn’t want to admit it, but she liked it. She liked waking up in someone’s arms. The air was cool with the AC on and Andrei was warm behind her and she liked it.

She smiled to herself and just let herself soak it in for a moment. It wasn’t that it was Andrei, she told herself. It was that it was a strong attractive man spooning her.

Finally, she resigned herself and tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his hold on her waist, keeping her against him as he mumbled something in Russian she couldn’t understand. She covered his hands with hers and just for a second noticed how much bigger his hands were before she gave his hand a tap. “You can let go of me, Svech, it’s morning.”

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled and pressed his face into her neck to shield his eyes from the sun and gave her a few butterflies in the process, which Zara did her best to shake. But, she was enjoying it too much to argue, and he was stronger than her, so she let her eyes close and gave him those five minutes.

But Andrei’s arms were too warm and inviting so those five minutes ultimately became an hour since she fell asleep again.

When she woke again, Zara wiped the sleep from her eyes before turning in his arms and came face to face with a very awake Andrei Svechnikov. “Hi,” he smiled.

He was so close she could see all the different shakes of brown in his eyes and the few scattered hairs along his brows. “You didn’t wake me up,” she replied simply, a little betrayed.

“You looked so comfy,” he told her and Zara rolled her eyes.

“What time is it, even?”

Andrei shrugged but finally let her pull away from his arms, as much as he hated it, so she could check her phone. “Oh my God it’s noon already,” she told him and quickly tossed the sheet back and got out of bed. “We need to hit lunch ASAP before the afternoon with my family—and oh fuck they’re going to require a lot of drinks.”

Andrei groaned as he rolled onto his back and he watched Zara walk around the room and pull clothes from her drawers before disappearing into the bathroom and he smiled. She liked being in his arms so much she fell asleep. Twice.

Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for him yet.

--

After getting dressed for the day—Andrei in pink swim trunks and a white t-shirt, and Zara in a black and grey marble bikini that had more cleavage than the bikini the day before (that Andrei definitely wasn’t drooling over) and a cover up (much to Andrei’s dismay)—they headed out for some lunch, and Zara definitely wasn’t stress eating.

“What’s the big deal?” Andrei asked as he pulled the top off a blueberry muffin. “I already met them and they definitely bought it.”

“For two hours,” Zara replied. “The longer we’re around them, the easier it’ll be for our gimmick to fall apart. And my mom wasn’t huge on the age gap.”

“Gimmick?” Andrei asked.

“Our story,” she corrected and the corner of his lip twitched up.

“Then we should kiss,” he tried again, but the answer remained the same. She glared at him.

“That will be a last resort,” she told him and Andrei happily took it. It was certainly an improvement from the No. No practice kissing. No kissing me in front of my family. No kissing. No! he got from her the day before, so he was getting somewhere.

Maybe he could win her over by the end of the week.

Everyone was already by the pool by the time Andrei and Zara showed up. Two sun chairs were conveniently available in the middle of the group, not that Andrei noticed, he just happily sprawled out in his chair before taking his backward baseball hat off to run his fingers through his hair and put it back on.

When he caught one of the bridesmaids looking at him, Andrei flashed her a bright smile before resting his hand on Zara’s thigh. She jumped at his touch and fought back the urge to knock his hand off, not because she didn’t like it, but because she probably liked it more than she should.

She was hyperaware of how high his hand rested on her thigh and every circle his thumb traced on her skin. She gave him a few moments, but when he never pulled his hand back, she reached for her kindle with white knuckles, desperately needing a distraction.

Her family spoke over the chairs as they caught up ahead of the big day later that week, but it was muffled to Zara as she was consumed by Andrei’s touch, even as she tried to focus on her book. But Colin and Penelope didn’t matter, all Zara could think about was Andrei’s big, warm hand on her skin.

A couple of her uncles, cousins and their kids were more than a little interested in Andrei, and Zara did have to give him credit for being patient and kind and talking hockey with them, even when he was clearly on vacation with his ‘girlfriend.’ But when Mason, one of the kids asked for advice on scoring a lacrosse goal, Andrei was more than willing to help.

“Better if I show you,” he said and gave Zara’s thigh a squeeze, pulling her from her thoughts for a moment as she glanced up at him before she looked back down at her book, finding it so much easier to focus on without his hand on her thigh.

He stepped into the open area by the pool, his back to the water as he faced Mason. Andrei didn’t have a hockey stick, so he had to pretend. “I struggled with it in the beginning, too,” Andrei told him, not that Mason believed him. “You have to make sure the puck is flat and clean to start. When you put your blade down, you have to use the flex or else it won’t work, so make sure your flex is right for you. If it’s too strong, it won’t bend so it won’t work. Then, you have to move quickly and smoothly or it’ll fall.” He mimed his goal and his smile widened when Mason looked at him with bright eyes. “When you score your first lacrosse goal, make sure to tell them Svech taught you, okay?” Andrei added with a wink and Mason nodded excitedly.

Andrei straightened and didn’t see Toby’s nephew trying to slip behind him. Toby’s nephew caught Andrei on the back of his knee. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough to knock him off balance. He tried to step back, but he was right at the edge of the pool and there was nothing for him to step back on, sending him tumbling back into the pool with a big splash.

Zara shot up, her kindle dropping to her lap as she called his name with a gasp. The water sloshed up over the edge of the pool before Andrei got his feet under him and stood up. His hair stuck to his forehead, the longer strands dangling in his eyes and he gave his head a shake before running his hand through it to push it back and he grabbed his hat which floated not far behind him. His sunglasses were another matter and it took him a moment to find them on the bottom of the pool and he had to duck back under to grab them. His white t-shirt had become all but transparent and it clung to his body, leaving nothing to the imagination as he put his hands on the edge of the pool and pushed himself out of the water.

The water fell off him in sheets, drenching the cement around the pool as he stood and he used the hem of his soaked shirt to wipe his face before he pulled it off and wrung it out. Zara’s jaw was slack as she watched him, and she wasn’t the only one. More than a couple bridesmaids shamelessly let their eyes run down Andrei’s body.

He ran his hand through his hair again before he put his hat on. He hung his shirt over the back of his chair and he didn’t bother towelling off before he laid back in his chair with a bright smile. “I was feeling a little warm anyway,” he shrugged, a smirk teasing his lips.

“And looking a lotta hot,” a bridesmaid mumbled under her breath as she continued to eye Andrei up like a piece of meat.

Zara didn’t know what came over her as her head jerked toward the bridesmaid and she snapped, “keep your eyes to your own man, Lauren.”

Her reaction made Andrei’s smirk widened and he pushed his chest out a bit. “I’m your man, huh?”  He teased as he leaned into her.

“Shush,” Zara grumbled, but she couldn’t hide the blush growing on her cheeks.

“Aw, babe,” Andrei said louder and pressed a kiss to her cheek, making Zara scrunch her nose as her stomach twisted.

His eyes dipped to her lips for half a moment. It would be so easy, so natural, to kiss her and he wondered if she still tasted like the strawberry lip balm he saw her put on earlier. He licked his lips and for a moment her eyes dipped down to his lips, but just as quickly as her eyes dropped, she looked back down at her kindle. “You’re dripping on me like a wet dog,” she said as she tried to shrug him off.

He frowned as his heart dropped but he pushed it aside as he reached out to grab her kindle from her. “What are you reading on this thing anyway?” He asked.

“No!” She shouted and threw herself over Andrei to get it back as she flushed, which only made Andrei more curious and he used his hand to block her as his eyes scanned the page, his interest increasing with every word.

He slid one figure inside her, causing her to gasp again (which caused him to laugh with delight), then began to stroke her slowly.

“Oh, my God,” Penelope moaned.

“You’re almost ready for me,” he said, his breath coming faster now. “So wet, but so tight.”

“Colin, what are you—”

He slit another finger inside, effectively ending any chance she had for intelligent speech.

She felt stretched wide, and yet she loved it. She much be very wicked, a wanton heart, because all she wanted was to spread her legs wider and wider until she was completely open to him. As far as she was concerned, he could do anything to her, touch her in any way he pleased.

Andrei’s throat went dry as he looked over at her. “Really, Z?” He asked, his voice rough making her blush darken but he didn’t fight her as she grabbed her kindle back, not that she did anything more than stuff it into her bag, mortified.

Of course, her family only thought it was cute that they teased each other.

Andrei was quiet for a long moment and he ran his hand through his hair a few times, suddenly feeling hot again despite the breeze and the pool water still dripping from him. His throat was dry and the rest of the world seemed to be drowned out by the sound of the blood rushing in his ears as he pictured Zara beneath him and how warm and wet she’d be around his fingers.

His cock twitched in his trunks at the thought and he quickly tried to shake the image from his mind, not that Zara was making it easy for him, her skin flushed as she laid out in the sun in that cute, little bikini that showed off everything Andrei wanted to get his mouth on.

She was absolutely killing him.

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly with Andrei stuck in his own little world and it was only when everyone started to file out to get ready for dinner that Andrei finally got to say what he was dying to say.

He let his hand rest on her lower back and as soon as they were out of hearing distance from her family, he told her, “you know, if you ever got tired of reading about all the ways a man can pleasure a woman, I’m right here.”

Zara made a strangled noise in her throat as she flushed again, but she forced out a scoff. “You? Please. I’d need a real man to know how to touch me.”

“I believe you said I was your man earlier,” he replied and shamelessly ran his eyes down her body, eating her alive. “Trust me, I know exactly how to touch you.”

Despite her flush, Zara shivered, his words stirring something deep inside her that she tried to deflect. “Or maybe girls just like to stroke your ego and fake it.”

“Trust me, kisa, no woman has ever had to fake it with me and neither would you.” Kisa. It was a nickname Andrei used on her every now and then and the Russian petname made her stomach flip but before she could ask him what it meant, he continued. “And if you ever want me to prove that to you, I will. Once with my mouth, maybe twice, once with my fingers, and definitely when I’m finally buried in you.”

If she was flushed before, her skin felt like it was burning now. Her tongue was heavy in her mouth and any intelligent quip was gone from her mind. All that remained was him. She couldn’t remember the last guy to make her cum once, let alone three or four times.

“Do they do that in your little book, kisa?” He asked and licked his lips. For the first time, maybe he had her hook, line, and sinker.

“Something like that,” she squeaked out and cleared her throat before she quickened her pace toward their room. Anything to put some distance between them and catch her breath.

Andrei Svechnikov was going to be the death of her.

–

The next day, the day before the wedding, was the rehearsal.

Zara spent way too long fussing with her hair and dress and Andrei watched her carefully. She used a straightener to curl her hair into soft waves and she did her make up neutral. The dress she chose was a solid emerald green with cap sleeved that ended just above her knee. “How do I look?” She asked Andrei. Of course she wanted to look nice, but she didn’t want it to be too much and take away from her sister.

Andrei didn’t shy away from running his eyes down her body and he couldn’t help but lick his lips. Now that he knew what she looked like in skimpy bikinis, he couldn’t help but notice how the dress hugged her curves. “Very nice,” he told her honestly and her shoulders relaxed.

“Okay, good,” she sighed. “The rehearsal dinner is at–”

“The grill overlooking the water,” Andrei cut her off. She had only told him a million times.

“At seven,” Zara continued even though Andrei knew. The whole trip they had been together–until now–and Zara didn’t want Andrei to lose track of time or forgetting to go and not showing up.

“I will be there,” he told her and pushed himself from the bed so he could touch her shoulders. “The world’s best boyfriend doesn’t miss rehearsal dinners.”

“Fake boyfriend,” Zara replied weakly, making Andrei frown for half a second before he forced his smile back up and walked around her.

“I’ll probably just hang around the beach until I have to get ready and then I will be there for you,” Andrei said.

Zara groaned softly. “God, the ocean. The rehearsal dinner is in some banquet room near the lobby.”

“But the wedding tomorrow will be on the beach,” he pointed out.

“I know,” she sighed. “I just hate the thought of being inside running through everything again while it’s so nice out.”

“Maybe it’ll still be nice after dinner,” he shrugged and stepped toward her. “We could go on a nice walk on the beach, maybe take a late night dip…” He couldn’t help but wink at her.

Zara’s flush wasn’t covered by her blush but she rolled her eyes. “Not happening, Svech.”

“We’ll see,” he hummed and bit his lip. “Might be stuffy in that room all day, you might enjoy some cooling off.”

If Zara was being honest, she could use some cooling off right now.

Andrei was so close to her she could smell the hotel body wash he used and where the dark brown of his eyes met his pupils. His lips were a dark pink, a little worn from the sun and salt and his constant biting, but they looked so soft as her eyes dipped to them. He was scruffy, having not shaved since they arrived, and for a split second, she wondered what it would feel like against her skin. But as quick as the thought came, she pushed it aside and tapped his chest. “Seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”

Disappointment flickered on his features. For a moment he thought that maybe she was going to kiss him, but that was foolish of him. “I’m never late,” he replied and stepped back to give her room.

Andrei didn’t say anything as she left, the door closing loudly behind her and he let his shoulders drop. Every day it felt like he was making progress, like maybe she could see him in a new light and like him like he liked her, but then she’d shut him down like it was the easiest thing in the world and it made his heart ache.

All he wanted was to be her boyfriend and treat and love her the way she deserved. He wanted to give her the world.

But he was still just a kid to her, wasn’t he?

–

Andrei was never late. Being on time was late in Andrei’s mind. So, naturally, he was ready and waiting for the rehearsal dinner at 6:30pm instead of seven. He wore blue slacks and a matching suit jacket and a button down, but no tie. He even shaved. He was planning on shaving the next morning for the wedding, but he could admit that there wouldn’t be much difference in 12 hours. He wasn’t like Jordo or Marty who could grow beards quick and thick, so he thought he’d shave and not show up to such an important event for Zara with a scruffy shadow.

Even if he wondered what it would be like to leave beard burn on her inner thighs.

“You made it,” Zara said as soon as she saw him outside the room and he smiled at the way her shoulders relaxed at the sight of him.

“Of course I did,” he replied and held his hand out to her. Zara hesitated for a moment before she took it. He was right, a girlfriend should hold her boyfriend’s hand.

She tried not to think about how much bigger his hand was or how worn and rough it was from the years of hockey, and she definitely did her best to not think about how much she liked it.

As a bridesmaid and sister to the bride, Zara (and Andrei) were seated at one of the two close tables with her family, and Andrei went into boyfriend mode once again, moving his chair closer to hers and letting his arm rest on the back of her chair. The movement pulled at his button down, which already had the first couple buttons undone, revealing more of his smooth skin and the cross that dangled between his pecs and paired with the woody, almost vanilla scent of his cologne that got stronger the closer he came, Zara forgot how to breathe.

He was doing that to her more and more it seemed and she didn’t know what to do about it, or how to feel.

There were a few toasts made as they waited for dinner, but Zara was more caught up in his scent and the cross that caught the light every time he shifted, drawing her attention back to his big, beefy chest.

Dinner, of course, was seafood, and Andrei had to pull his hand back from her to eat and she only missed it a little. The room was hot and humid with that many people, but Zara missed his touch, even if she did her best to ignore that she did.

After dinner came more speeches and toasts and Zara welcomed back Andrei’s touch and surprised herself when she leaned into him, seeking more of it, making Andrei smile, even if she didn’t catch it.

For Andrei, each toast bled into the next. He didn’t or barely knew these people and they more or less sounded the same, and maybe those two glasses of wine with dinner, paired with the few drinks that afternoon, were starting to hit him.

He couldn’t help himself, he leaned into her and brushed his lips over the shell of her ear. “So, when do we get out of here to have that late night dip?” He asked, his voice barely above a breath.

As much as she tried to deny it, his voice made her shiver, but she reached out to give his thigh a squeeze, warning him. “Andrei,” she whispered.

Of course, that only invited his hand to her thigh. Her dress was knee length and it was easy for him to push the fabric up to feel the soft skin of her thigh, making Zara’s breath catch in her throat. “It would be more fun than sitting around listening to toast after toast and getting drunk off wine,” he said and moved his hand up a little higher. Her nails dug into his thigh, but that only spurred him on.

The past couple days, he had wondered what her skin would feel like under his touch and it was so much better than he could imagine and it left him craving more. She always left him craving more.

“We could take a quick dip in the pool after it gets dark,” he suggested with a hum.

“And some employee will come running after you and drag you out and probably get us both kicked out of the resort,” Zara replied, rolling her eyes, but, of course, Andrei only licked his lips.

“Not if we don’t get caught,” he told her and moved his hand up a little higher, trying to convince her to give in; to give into him.

“Andrei,” she whispered, warning him again, but his hand on her thigh made her skin burn and whoever was giving a speech was completely forgotten to her.

“It would be fun. Refreshing,” Andrei continued and winked at her.

For a moment, Zara held his gaze and he thought he had her. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were dark and he thought he had her. And then she pushed his hand down to her knee. “Not happening, Andrei,” she told him.

Andrei took a deep breath as he pulled his eyes away from her, not wanting to share his disappointment, but he couldn’t pull his hand from her knee, even as he used his other hand to reach for his wine and down the whole glass.

The speech dragged into the next and then the next and Andrei let his hand drag back up Zara’s thigh. She quickly took a sip of her wine before setting it back down on the table, but didn’t say anything so Andrei let his eyes find whoever was giving the current speech as he pushed his hand higher, so high he could almost–

Zara jumped at the feeling of his fingertips against her panties. Her skin flushed a dark red and she knocked his hand away harshly, hitting the table hard enough to knock her glass of wine onto her lap.

Her gasp was sharp, making the whole room look at her and Andrei quickly pressed his napkin to her dress, right above where he wanted her most, but her green dress was ruined by the red wine soaking the fabric despite Andrei’s attempts to clean her up.

“Are you okay?” Skye asked, making Zara’s head whip toward the front table as Andrei continued to press his napkin to her dress.

“Yep,” Zara replied, popping the p as she tried to play things off, her skin burning from Andrei’s touch. “Just some spilt wine, please continue.” She could barely hear her own voice over the roar of her heartbeat in her ears as she tried to play it off, not that Andrei bought it. He could feel her heart racing under his touch and the heat of her body and it drove him crazy.

But the rehearsal dinner went on.

Everyone was unbothered by Zara and her ruined dress and Andrei, after all, it was the bride and groom who were the centre of attention, not the bride’s sister and her ‘boyfriend.’ But Zara was bothered. She was hyperaware of Andrei and his every touch and the scent of his cologne and the way his eyes never seemed to leave her.

The toasts went on, congratulating the happy couple and reminiscing in their memories, but the words never truly reached Zara’s ears, all too focused on Andrei.

“You know,” he breathed, leaning in to brush his lips against her ear again. “You could let me help you out of his dress when we get out of here. I’d tell you you’d be drier without it but…” he finished his thought by returning his hand to her thigh.

Zara closed her eyes as she took a deep breath and pushed his hand away. “Enough, Andrei,” she told him. Whatever his little game was, she wanted it to be done. She had made a fool of herself at her sister’s rehearsal dinner and she just wanted to survive the rest of the night and Andrei with his brown eyes and deep voice and big hands was making that impossible.

She put her head in her hand and gripped the napkin he had used to clean up her dress tightly in her other hand. Andrei studied her for a moment before he nodded and leaned back in his chair to give her space. But he still couldn’t pull his eyes away from her all evening.

How could he? Zara was the most beautiful woman in the world to him, more radiant than the bride and he’d never get tired of looking at her.

The toasts spoke of joy and love and family and when Andrei finally tuned into them, he found himself picturing that they were talking about him and Zara, that one day her family would recall the first time they met him and how good he was to her and how they knew they were meant to be.

His heart ache, he wanted it so badly. Wanted her.

“What?” Zara asked when she caught him staring, but Andrei just shook his head.

As much as he wanted it, he would never have it because she didn’t want him the same way. He was just a hockey player. A kid. Too young for her. Someone she worked with.

He was just Svech.

–

As if Zara’s day hadn’t been long enough with the all day rehearsal and the dinner and ruining her dress and fucking Andrei, once they got back to their room after dinner, Zara realized one thing: it was hot.

Suffocating, really.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Zara groaned, her shoulders slumped as she walked over to the AC controls to get it running again.

Andrei’s furrowed brows relaxed as he stepped into the hot, still room and he immediately shrugged off his jacket and undid his shirt, already overheating and he had only been in there for a moment. Zara huffed as she pressed button after button, but the room stayed just as still and hot. “Not working?” Andrei asked as he looked over her shoulder.

“No,” she groaned and gave it a frustrating smack, not that that helped either. “I’m going to call the front desk and maybe they can send someone to fix it.”

“Z,” Andrei sighed and gently touched her arm. “It’s almost midnight, they’ll just tell you that you have to wait till morning.” Rationally, Zara knew that, but she couldn’t stay in the suffocating heat box of a room with Andrei without trying.

Her hair was already starting to stick to her neck as she sat down on the bed to call the front desk while Andrei propped open the balcony doors for some air. He stripped down to his underwear while Zara was on the phone with the front desk, but her frustrated bang of the phone as she hung up had him stick his head out of the bathroom door and when he saw her head in her hands, he already knew the answer. They were stuck for the night.

Well, there were certainly worse things in life than being stuck in a hot room with a hot woman.

“No good?” Andrei asked and Zara shook her head as she sighed.

“They can’t send someone until morning.”

It was what Andrei was expecting, but he still took a deep breath. They had a long day tomorrow, Zara more than him, and they needed their sleep, but he wasn’t sure how much sleep they’d get in this sweatbox.

Zara took her time getting ready for bed, making sure to do her whole skincare routine plus a facemask, wanting to look her best for the wedding. She changed out of her dress and into a pair of loose sleep shorts and a tank top. For a moment, she debated just sleeping in an oversized shirt and her panties, but she couldn’t bring herself to, not when she knew Andrei was only in his boxers. She needed more between them.

Even with the balcony door open, neither of them could muster more than the sheet, the rest of the covers kicked down to the foot of the bed. Zara wanted to sleep above the sheet like Andrei, but she felt too exposed, even if the air was thick and humid and the sheet stuck to her clammy skin.

Neither of them slept well in the seemingly increasingly hotter room, hyperaware of each other and by the time Zara’s alarm went off the next morning, she felt the opposite of rested. The room was still hot, her tank top stuck to her skin and exhaustion weighed her down. The day ahead of her was long and she didn’t know how she was going to survive.

She groaned as she pressed her face into the pillow and begged for another hour of sleep, but she knew she’d be lucky if she got another five minutes.

Her back was to him, but Andrei stirred beside her and when she felt the bed dip as he got up, she let herself roll onto her back, seeking more cool air from the open balcony door he was closer to. She could see Andrei walk to the bathroom from the corner of her eye and her eyes widened before she looked over at him, not believing what she saw.

She knew for a fact that Andrei had gone to bed in his boxers, but she was staring at his bare naked ass as he walked to the bathroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Zara’s skin may have been flushed from the heat, but she blushed as the bathroom door closed behind him and she suddenly felt much more awake than she did two minutes ago.

And a lot hotter.

She had seen Andrei shirtless countless of times. She had worked on his shirtless body, be that his shoulder, wrist or hip, countless times. But she had never seen him naked. She never wanted to see him naked. But that was a whole lot of ass. A whole lot of very nice ass.

Everyone always said hockey players have the best asses and… Andrei’s ass was perky and round and jiggled just a bit with his every step and Zara wondered what it would feel like if she reached out and gave it a little squeeze. The thought had her feeling hot all over again.

And it wasn’t just his bare ass because his bare ass meant that he was bare everywhere. She had slept less than a foot away from a very naked Andrei Svechnikov.

You work for him. You’re his trainer. He’s too young for you. It’s all just pretend. Don’t think about him like that.

It didn’t matter what she told herself, Zara couldn’t stop thinking about his perky ass or how naked he was or the new heat it made her feel and she could hear Andrei’s voice in that post game interview when he said ‘I’m a big boy, I gotta use my body well’ and when he told her all the ways he’d make her cum, and she pressed her thighs together as she wondered how true his words were.

Zara was pulled from her thoughts when Andrei opened the bathroom door and she jumped at the sound, pulling the corner of the sheet over her as she looked over. There was a flush to Andrei’s cheeks and he had a sheepish smile on his lips as he looked at her through the crack in the door.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, the flush on his cheeks darkening. “I must have gotten hotter while I slept.”

“It’s okay,” Zara squeaked out, her cheeks just as red.

“Still sorry,” he told her and opened the door fully so he could step out. He held a hand towel in front of his …bits and Zara could see that his flush went down his chest and just how deep his v-line was.

She sank further into bed and her skin felt like it was burning but she tried her best to ignore it as Andrei grabbed a fresh pair of underwear from his drawer and pulled them on.

Zara wasn’t blind, of course she knew he was hot, but knowing he was hot and seeing how hot he was were two different things and Andrei was hot.

Very fucking hot.

“Sorry,” he apologized again once he got his underwear on and looked over at her, the towel still clutched in his hand.

Zara shook her head and forced herself to sit up. “It was unfavourably hot, and Russia is cold, I imagine. I’m not going to hold it against you, I’m just going to pretend it didn’t happen.” She didn’t wait for a response as she made her way to the bathroom and turned the shower on, needing a cold wash.

Andrei’s lips were tight as he sat down on the bed and looked at the closed bathroom door, unsure if they had made progress from the first night, or if he had unintentionally crossed a boundary and ruined everything. He couldn’t even remember stripping down so he had to have done it in his sleep, too hot in his boxers, even if he slept above the covers.

He waited for her to come out of the bathroom, missing the way her eyes dropped down his chest in favour of watching a drop of water run down her arm. The air in the room felt thicker as she eyes the way his cross rose and fell with his every breath, but she cleared her throat and gestured toward the dresser.

“Just gonna grab some clothes…” she whispered and busied herself with grabbing the custom bridal party pyjamas Skye wanted them all to wear. She had to bend down to get them, her towel inching up her legs and Andrei’s eyes ate up every new inch of skin. There was nothing he wanted more than to push her towel up and sink to his knees and–

“The ceremony is at three, but you should be there at least half an hour early,” Zara said as she stood back up, pulling Andrei from his thoughts. His cheeks were rosy as she turned to look at him but she didn’t say anything.

“Got it,” he told her with a forced smile, trying to keep his eyes on her face and not on how tight the towel was around her chest and the drops of water that dripped from her hair down the tops of her breasts.

“I’ll be with my sister all day, so please be there on time,” she told him, holding her towel tightly, not wanting it to fall.

“I will,” he replied firmly and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. “I have three alarms so I don’t miss it.”

His words made her relax some but watching him stretch and seeing his muscles move under his skin as he reached for his phone made her feel something else and she was sure she was blushing as she nodded and quickly retreated to the bathroom to change.

She returned a moment later dressed in her bridal party pyjamas that had Bridesmaid stitched over her breast in a sage colour cursive font. Andrei watched as she gathered her things in a bag and got her dress and shoes out of the closet. “I’ll see you at the wedding then,” she told him and Andrei nodded.

“I’ll be there, watching the most beautiful girl there,” he replied and smiled at Zara’s blush. He meant every word he said.

“I’m sure everyone’s eyes will be on the bride,” she said weakly.

“Everyone’s but mine,” he told her, pleading with her to look at him again.

Instead, Zara closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, needing to ground herself before she opened her eyes again. He was just a flirt. It was nothing more. He didn’t really mean it. He couldn’t.

“I’ll see you later, Andrei,” she settled on and put her flats on before she slipped out the door, leaving Andrei alone in their way too hot hotel room.

He groaned as he flopped back against the bed. Zara Roberts was going to be the death of him, but he couldn’t imagine a better way to go.

–

Getting ready for the wedding was easy. Or, at least it would have been easy if she hadn’t woken up next to a naked Andrei Svechnikov that morning.

Room service brought breakfast as they fussed over Skye and made sure everything was in order and that she looked her best. Skye couldn’t stop smiling and her smile was contagious. After breakfast they all had their make up and hair done, which seemed to take forever, but Skye didn’t mind. She was just so happy the day was finally here. Today was the day she went from a girlfriend to a wife.

And Zara was only a little jealous.

Zara’s hair wasn’t long enough to do up, so it was left down in loose waves and her make up was earthy and neutral, just like the other bridesmaids, while Skye’s hair was down in curls and her make up was more smokey but still earthy to fit the beachy vibe.

All morning Zara knew she should be focused on her little sister and her big day and being the perfect bridesmaid and sister she could be and making sure everything went according to plan, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Andrei.

Andrei and his big brown eyes and bright smile and contagious laugh and kindness and broad shoulders and abs and pale ass.

Andrei.

Maybe it was the mimosas, maybe it was the wedding, maybe it was something else entirely, but her whole mind was full of Andrei and her heart ached. She missed the feeling of his hands on her skin and she wondered if he really knew what he was doing when it came to women like he always bragged, and she wondered what he would feel like.

“Earth to Zara,” Skye said with a laugh, pulling Zara from her thoughts with a blush. God, she hated how she was always blushing these days.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “The AC died in our room last night so it was kinda a long night, but I’m here, I’m good, won’t happen again, I promise.”

“As if your room wasn’t hot enough with that beefcake,” one of the other bridesmaids, Arianna, said, and Zara clenched her jaw.

“Today is supposed to be about Skye, Arianna, so I’d appreciate it if you could focus more on the bride and less on my boyfriend,” Zara told her before turning back to Skye. “Is there anything I can do before we get dressed?”

“No,” Skye replied a moment later, the corner of her lip twitching up at her sister’s jealousy. It wasn’t often she saw Zara like that. Actually, she couldn’t remember ever seeing her sister like that. “I’ll just change into my lingerie while you girls get into your dresses.”

“Okay,” Zara replied with a smile and watched her little sister disappear into the bathroom with a lingerie bag, feeling only a little jealousy that her little sister would be getting some while she was busy playing pretend with Andrei.

Still, Zara was sure to shoot Arianna a glare while they got dressed, wanting her to know that Andrei was not up for grabs. If he was going to be anyone’s, he was going to be hers.

The girls were all dressed in their sage green dresses by the time Skye came back out in her robe and pictures were taken as she put her dress on. It was a simple dress, an A-line with a tulle skirt and a lace overlay and off shoulder sleeves. She looked beautiful and Zara’s throat was tight as she looked at her little sister.

But then she thought of Andrei and his words, ‘I’ll be there, watching the most beautiful girl there,’ and she smiled as she wondered if he truly meant it, if he’d really be there watching her throughout the ceremony instead of the bride.

Zara found herself hoping he would.

The rest of the early afternoon went by quickly and after some quick finishing touches and pictures, they were making their way down to the beach. Zara should have been thinking about Skye and if her dress was perfect, about the weather, about shoes in the sand, about Toby and if he didn’t cry when he saw her, if he wasn’t there at all, but all Zara could think about was big boy himself.

Asking him to be her fake boyfriend was a mistake, she realized as they lined up to head down the aisle, her neck straining in search of his familiar light brown hair. Of course it was only when the music started and everyone stood up that she caught his soft brown eyes and her shoulders relaxed as she smiled.

He was there.

Zara held the groomsman’s–Mitch’s–arm as she walked down the aisle with a smile, but her eyes were on Andrei the whole time, just like his were on her. Even when the music changed and Skye began to walk down the aisle, Andrei couldn’t pull his eyes from Zara at the altar.

Her sage green dress and earthy make up looked stunning on her and complimented her features and eyes and he was breathless as he watched her. She was everything he could ever want and more.

She was everything.

“Please be seated,” the officiant said and Andrei sat down, his eyes still locked with Zara’s. Their trip would be over soon and he was running out of time to win her over.

The officiant was one of Skye’s and Toby’s closest and oldest friends, and it showed as he told the story of them from the first time they met in class and how Skye hated being partnered with him because she thought he was going to lower their mark, to Toby looking for advice on how to ask her out, to how cute and inseparable they were in high school and how that closeness never left as they got older.

“Everyone expected them to drift apart after high school, but they only got closer,” he said and Toby lifted their joined hands so he could brush his lips over Skye’s knuckle and Andrei’s heart felt heavy in his chest as he looked back to Zara and he pictured that the officiant was talking about him and Zara.

Not that they would have been in high school together or grown up together, he reminded himself, their age difference too big. But still, he couldn’t stop himself from imagining.

Their officiant–maybe Evgeny–would talk about how they teased each other and the difficulties of working together and the friendship their relationship was built on and how Andrei pined for her for years. He’d talk about this trip and pretending to be together and how it showed her he was everything she needed and how perfect they were together.

It was selfish and he knew that, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about it.

Zara’s hair fluttered in the ocean breeze and every now and then she had to brush tears away before they ruined her make up, and there were a couple of times throughout the ceremony that Zara looked over at him, giving him butterflies as he smiled back and he knew he was lucky for just getting the change to look at her.

When he offered to go on the trip with her and be her fake boyfriend, he had had a crush on her, but looking at her now, at her sister’s wedding, he realized it was so much more than a crush. He never felt like this before. He wanted to be with her, he’d do anything for her. He craved her smile and her laugh and her every touch.

He wanted Zara.

He needed Zara.

He…

He was in love with Zara.

Andrei was glad he was sitting down as the realization shook him and he took a deep breath through his nose and dug his nails into his palms.

He was in love with Zara.

He was in love with Zara.

He must have had a panicked look on his face since Zara furrowed her brows as she looked over at him, and he did his best to give her a reassuring smile as his head spun.

He was in love with Zara and she only saw him as a patient. A co-worker. A friend. A kid.

The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur for Andrei. Vows were said and rings exchanged. They shared a kiss as they were pronounced husband and wife and Andrei remembered clapping with everyone else as they walked back up the aisle, but his eyes never left Zara.

He was fucked. Absolutely and completely fucked.

–

Andrei walked on autopilot to the reception, his mind still reeling. A waitress came by with a tray of champagne and Andrei quickly grabbed a glass and downed it before making his way to the bar, needing something stronger.

His hands shook as the bartender slid his drink over, but Andrei ignored it. The only thing that occupied his mind was Zara. He had had feelings for Zara since he entered the league, but he hadn’t realized his feelings were that deep until now.

He was in love with her and she was absolutely going to ruin him.

He ordered a shot after his drink, wanting to distract himself from his life altering realization. The tequila burned his throat a little, but it wasn’t bad, and certainly not enough to truly take his mind off Zara. But, honestly, he could be black out drunk and still be thinking of Zara.

But, of course, Andrei was too caught up in his mind and cocktail hour went by too quickly and then it was time for the reception and dinner and he didn’t know how he was going to survive.

After the ceremony, Andrei had given Zara some space, or, more accurately, he had given himself some space from Zara. But that space went away as the bridal party got their introductions and Andrei’s breath caught in his throat all over again and he needed her.

When it came time for dinner, Andrei settled in beside her and pulled his chair a little closer before he draped his arm on the back of her chair, seeking even the slightest brush of her skin against his.

They had seafood for dinner again, and it was good, even if the taste was secondary to Zara.

All Andrei could think about was Zara. How beautiful Zara was, Zara in her dress, the sea green of Zara’s eyes, the sweet scent of her perfume, how she leaned into him when the tips of his fingers brushed the ends of her hair, the matte pink of her lipstick and how it was a little smudged, and how he wanted to smudge it some more.

Everything began and ended with Zara.

Andrei knew he should at least pretend to be paying attention to the happy couple and the speeches, but he couldn’t pull his attention from Zara.

He brushed the tips of his fingers through the ends of her waves again, making her shiver and she pulled her eyes from her sister to look at Andrei. He watched her with his big, soft brown eyes that had her heart doing flips. The corner of his lips twitched up and she forced a small smile before looking back Skye, but she could still feel Andrei’s eyes on her and when she glanced back, he was still looking at her like she hung the stars in the night sky.

Zara had had a lot of boyfriends–well, more flings than anything else–but none of them ever looked at her like that.

Her breath caught in her throat, and for a split second she thought Andrei might kiss her when his eyes dropped down to her lips, and despite her earlier remarks, she’d actually be okay with it. Instead, she was disappointed when he brushed his lips over her temple. Not that she had a reason to be when she was the one that drew the line in the sand.

Zara couldn’t help but melt into him, seeking his touch and warmth, even if her heart sank in her chest. Andrei was good at a lot of things–hockey, magic, and media, to name a few–she shouldn’t have been surprised he was this good at pretending, too. She just wished that he wasn’t.

The point of him coming to the wedding was to get her family off her back, convince them that she was capable of having a meaningful relationship like her sister. But, in true Andrei fashion, he had to go above and beyond and made her family fall in love with him. Made her fall in love with him. Andrei was leaps and bounds the best boyfriend she ever had, and he wasn’t even her real boyfriend.

If anyone asked her what her dream boyfriend looked like, Zara would have said kind (like Andrei), flirty (like Andrei), considerate (like Andrei), funny (like Andrei), passionate (like Andrei), and attractive (like Andrei). But it wasn’t real. It was never real.

She knew that in her mind, but it didn’t stop her from being pulled toward him and seeking everything he had to offer.

If he was just worse at pretending, kept more distance between them, didn’t flirt as much, and sure as hell didn’t look at her like that, she’d be okay. But Andrei was never one to half ass something.

Zara shivered and leaned over the gap between the chairs to rest her head on Andrei’s shoulder and the rest of the speeches were lost to her as she focused on him.

He was an adult, an NHL superstar, but in her head, he was still the wide eyed rookie who was basically a kid when he came into the league. She knew rationally that their seven-year age gap wasn’t that much in the long run, but it felt like a lot when he was only 22 and she was knocking at 30’s door.

If he was just a little older… Or her a little younger…

But things didn’t work like that.

The wedding speeches were nice, though not as nice as being in Andrei’s arms, not that she’d tell anyone that. And once the speeches were over and the cake was cut, the party started to take off.

There was a nice dance floor set up on the beach, but Zara stayed in Andrei’s arms longer than she should have, just wanting to soak in the feeling of him. When she finally found it in herself to pull away and join the party, Andrei reached out and caught her wrist. Her hand looked so small compared to his and it shouldn’t have made her feel the things it did. “Where are you going?” He asked.

“To dance?” She replied and Andrei’s chair scraped on the floor as he stood.

“Then I’ll go with you,” he told her and followed her out onto the dance floor.

In the beginning, Andrei danced beside her, not that he let her wander out of his reach. But, the more songs that played, the closer he moved. Zara was perfect and she looked amazing in her dress and there was no denying the sensual nature of how she moved to the music.

All Andrei wanted was to pull her back to their room and have his way with her.

So, when ‘Talk Dirty’ came on, he moved closer to her, keeping his arm around her as he pulled her back against his chest, all but grinding on her. He let his hand find her waist and his lips brushed her neck, making Zara freeze for half a second before leaning back against him, moving with him and enjoying the feeling of his body against hers, even if she knew it was just for show.

It was funny because Zara had never really been a PDA person. Sure, kisses and hugs were okay, but not in excess, and yet, there she was at her sister’s wedding eating up attention from the man pretending to be her boyfriend.

In the past, Zara’s eyes always found the attractive guys in the room and she knew exactly how to get their attention, but everything and everyone was secondary to Andrei. The only attention she wanted was his.

The only thing she wanted was him.

She reached behind her to cup the back of his neck and let him pull her completely flush against him, a different warmth settling in her body, no matter how much she tried to ignore it. She fit perfectly against him and she melted into him for the song.

The song was quick and every brush of his lips sent another wave of heat and need through her body and by the time the song came to an end, she had to pull away from him to head to the bar, needing to take some breaths that didn’t smell like his cologne.

Zara hung around the bar for a few minutes, nursing a drink as she kept some distance between her and Andrei. But, as each song blurred into the next, the distance between them only made her crave him more. She needed him and the drink did nothing to change that.

When the music turned slow, Andrei’s eyes found Zara in the crowd. The corner of his lip twitched up as he stepped toward her, his eyes dipping down her body for a moment before he extended his hand to her. It wasn’t a song that he was familiar with, but it didn’t matter. It was slow and soft and about being in love and it was more than enough for Andrei.

“Would you do me the honour of sharing this dance with me?” He asked. His words surprised Zara but she smiled as she took his head and let him pull her out onto the dance floor.

His hand was so much bigger than hers and he was a whole head taller than her, even in her heels, and she tried to think of the last time she slow danced with someone and the only thing that came to mind was prom more than ten years ago. She had worn a horrible pink dress she thought looked good at the time and her hair was dyed too dark for her fair complexion.

“I–” Zara started, but Andrei shook his head and guided her hands to his shoulders before resting his hands on her hips, holding her close.

Her chest was pressed against his and she was so close he could see the flecks of blue and gold in her eyes and the slight chap to her lips and the smudge of her eyeliner, but she was perfect.

She was always perfect.

He couldn’t pull his eyes from her the whole dance, even the music was secondary to her. Her green eyes, the arch of her cheeks, her cupid’s bow, the freckles that decorated her nose.

Her.

It took everything in his power to not kiss her when his every atom was screaming at him to.

Everyone melted away, leaving just him and Zara as they swayed to the music. His hands moved to the small of her back, pulling her closer and he heard her breath catch in her throat, but she didn’t pull back. If anything, she pressed herself closer.

She told herself it was in case any family was watching and she had to keep playing pretend, but really, she had to know what his chest felt like against hers and what the hair at the base of his skull felt like.

He never pulled his eyes away from her, his deep brown eyes burned a hole in her soul and pulled at an emptiness within her. An emptiness he could fill.

The song ended way too quickly for either of their liking and Zara found it hard to pull away. The air was thick and humid despite the late hour, but she craved his warmth.

She craved him.

The slight of him that morning was fresh in her mind, along with his every touch from the rehearsal dinner and the child-like wonder when they first landed, and her heart pulled to him. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, her heart pulled to him.

The song that came on after wasn’t as slow, but it wasn’t overly quick either. They could have kept dancing–should have kept dancing–but Andrei kept looking at her with those big brown eyes that made her heart flutter. She opened her mouth but quickly closed it in favour of taking his hand and leading him somewhere more private.

The first place Zara saw was the photo booth off to the side, away from the dance floor and it would have to do. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure they weren’t being watched before she pulled Andrei into the small booth and closed the curtain behind them.

She opened her mouth to tell him that letting him be her fake boyfriend was a mistake, that she couldn’t do it anymore, that he was doing too good a job and she couldn’t take it anymore, not when he was already the best boyfriend she ever had and it wasn’t even real. But before she could get the words out, his lips were on hers.

His lips were soft and slightly chapped from the salt water and he tasted like champagne and Zara knew she should have pushed him away, reminded him how unprofessional it was. But he was firm and warm and he felt bigger in the small booth and she pulled him closer by the undone collar of his shirt.

Andrei groaned softly against her lips and deepened the kiss as he pressed her into the wall of the booth. He kissed the breath out of her and she moved her hands up to his hair, needing to hold onto him, needing to feel him.

The tug on his hair pulled another low groan from his throat and he trailed his hand down from her hip to push the skirt of her dress up, letting his hand wander over the soft skin of her thigh. He was so focused on her and her soft gasp against his lips when he hooked her leg over his, needing to be closer to her that he didn’t realize his elbow hit something until–

Flash.

Zara froze and pushed him back enough to see the time count down again and Andrei let his lips trail down her jaw.

Flash.

He ran his tongue over her pulse point, pulling a strangled moan from her lips and she tugged him by his hair back to her lips. The kiss was rough and frantic and–

Flash.

Andrei’s hand moved from her thigh to her ass as he pushed her dress up more, wanting to slot himself between her legs and he pulled back from the kiss to nip at her lower lip, his eyes dark when he realized just how tiny her panties were.

Flash.

Zara’s chest heaved and she swore she had never felt so hot with need before in her life.

Trust me, kisa, no woman has ever had to fake it with me and neither would you. And if you ever want me to prove that to you, I will. Once with my mouth, maybe twice, once with my fingers, and definitely when I’m finally buried in you.

She could hear his words in her head and she wanted it desperately.

She wanted him.

She ran her tongue over her lip as she eyed him and she cupped his cheeks before kissing him again, clinging to him knowing he’d support her.

Flash.

The sound of the pictures printing pulled them from their trance. Zara groaned as Andrei pulled back and tried to follow his lips before realizing what she did and she flushed as she leaned back against the wall.

Andrei untangled himself from her to grab the pictures and he smirked before he held them up to her. Zara blushed all over again as she looked at them. Andrei’s big body took up most of the frame, but there was no mistaking how much she was enjoying his every touch.

“I think this one is my favourite,” he told her and pointed to the pictures with her lip between his teeth.

“Shut up,” she said weakly and his smirk grew.

“Never. And I’m saving these.”

Zara groaned and let her hands fall to his sides as she pressed her face into his chest. She could feel his chest shake as he laughed but he gently ran his hand down her back, making her shiver.

“I need to ask you something,” she said after a moment and pulled back enough to meet his gaze.

“Anything,” Andrei replied.

Zara flushed before she could even get the words out. “The other day by the pool… You said some things… I just want to know if you meant them.”

“I said a lot of things by the pool, kisa. You need to be more specific,” he told her, the corner of his lip twitching up. He had a pretty good idea what she was after, but he needed to hear her say it.

Zara was quiet for a long moment before she mumbled “fuck it” under her breath. “You teased me about my book,” she started. “Said you’d… do things to me.”

“Make you cum?” He teased, his smirk growing.

Zara’s blush darkened but she nodded. “Did you mean it? Or were you messing with me?”

Andrei leaned in to ghost his lips over hers. “Kisa, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.” Again, she opened her mouth to ask him what kisa meant but he cut her off with a kiss and she let herself melt into it. “It’s getting late,” he said as he broke the kiss. “They won’t notice if we turn in for the night…” His words sent a wave of heat through her body and her breath caught in her throat. He bit his lip as he studied her, waiting for an answer.

“Do you think they’ve fixed the AC?” She asked.

“Yes. They fixed it before I left for the wedding,” he told her and traced soft circles on her hip with his thumb.

Any reservations she had went out the window and she crashed her lips to his. He hesitated for half a moment, surprised, but quickly kissed her back and pulled her flush against him. He was so good at kissing that she wondered how good he was at using his mouth elsewhere. The thought alone left her breathless and she pushed him back by his chest only to take his hand and pull him out of the photo booth and toward their room.

Andrei’s laugh gave her butterflies and once they were out of view of those at the wedding, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. He pressed his lips to her temple as she squeaked and it made his heart do somersaults in his chest.

This was really happening.

It didn’t take them long to reach their building and Zara’s heart raced in her chest as she headed for the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. Again, Andrei laughed but raced after her, taking the stairs two at a time.

He had the room key, so even if she beat him to the door by holding her dress above her knees, she couldn’t get in without him and he slowed his steps, enjoying the sight of her ass in her dress.

As soon as the door was open, Zara pulled him in by his sleeve, but he was quick to cage her in against the door as he caught her lips in another kiss that he only took a moment to deepen. She ran her fingers through his hair before pushing at the suit jacket he was still wearing, wanting it off, and Andrei broke the kiss for just a moment to shrug it off, not caring if it landed in a crumpled ball on the ground as he kissed her again.

She sighed happily against his lips as she let her hands run down his back before pulling it free from his belt and her core ached with need for him. But he broke the kiss to trail his lips down her jaw as he pulled her hands away from his shirt, enjoying the breathy moan she rewarded him with before he pulled back to unbutton his shirt. If she wanted to feel him, he’d give her what she wanted.

He held her gaze as he unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a few more inches of freshly tanned skin with every undone button. Zara bit her lip as she watched him shrug the white button down off before reaching out to touch his chest.

She had touched him countless times before. She knew every dip of his muscles, every joint that ailed him, every visible scar on his body. But it was different touching him now. She wasn’t touching him to soothe his every ache and pain. She wasn’t touching him to help rehab an injury. She was touching him because she wanted to. And fuck did she love how he felt under her touch.

“Like what you feel?” Andrei asked with a smirk, knowing damn well she did and Zara scoffed before she pulled him in for a kiss by the back of his neck.

Andrei immediately took control of the kiss, pressing his lips to hers as her hands explored his back before he kissed down her throat and began bunching her dress up around her hips. He nipped gently at her skin and soothed it over with his tongue before he trailed his lips lower until he met the neckline of her dress. He pressed a single additional kiss to her chest, just below her collarbone, before giving her a smirk and sinking down to his knees.

He watched as her eyes widened, but it only spurred him on as he nudged her foot, wanting her to lift it. When she did, he unstrapped her heel and tossed it aside, her second heel following a moment later. She tried to put her foot back down on the tile floor, but Andrei’s grip on her ankle tightened and instead of putting it down, he guided it over his shoulder, pulling a sharp gasp from Zara’s lips.

“Okay?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to her calf.

“Uh huh,” Zara managed as she leaned her head back against the door.

Andrei chuckled against her skin but continued to trail his lips up her leg, mouthing at her miles of soft skin and loving the quick and shallow breaths she took.

Finally, he reached the seam where her leg met her hip and he licked his lips as he looked at her. “These are cute,” he told her, brushing his finger over the small pink bow on the front of her lacy pink panties. Zara groaned as she rocked her hips into his touch. He’d tease her about it later, but she didn’t care, she needed him to touch her. “But I think they’d look cuter on the floor,” he continued and slipped his index finger into the band, asking permission to take them off.

“Probably would look better next to your shirt,” Zara agreed, her voice breathy. Andrei didn’t need to be told twice. He gently put her leg back on the floor and pulled her panties down, half debating sticking them in his pocket before he tossed them over to join his shirt.

He pushed her dress back up to her hips and guided her leg back over his shoulder, making her take a sharp breath in and he groaned loudly at the sight of her.

She was soft and pretty and pink and so fucking wet for him.

He licked his lips as he looked at her before pressing his lips to the seam of her leg just to feel her squirm. “Andrei,” she whined, high in her throat and he chuckled against her skin before finally getting his tongue on her.

He licked a broad strip up her slit, his eyes closing at the taste of her. He thought about it more than he cared to admit, dreaming of having her beneath him and above him and how sweet she’d taste on his tongue and all the things he’d do to her. She tasted better than he imagined and he couldn’t get enough. He pressed the tip of his tongue to her entrance, needing more of her before he pulled back to circle her clit and the sound of her moaning his name was music to his ears.

“Oh my God, Andrei,” Zara moaned and ran her hand down the door, searching for something, anything, to hold on to before she gave in and fisted his hair, making him groan against her. She gasped at the vibrations and clenched down on nothing as he wrapped his lips around her clit.

“Fuck,” she moaned, it was so fucking good. He was the devil with his tongue, knowing exactly how to touch her and she had been wound tight all day and she knew it wasn’t to take much for him to make her cum.

He gently rubbed her hips with his thumbs as he traced the alphabet over her clit, noting the motions that pulled the loudest moans from her before pulling back from her core to nip high on her inner thigh, smirking at the whine he pulled from her and how she tried to push his head back down. “You look so pretty like this, kisa,” he told her, his voice rough as he tried to commit the image to memory. “And you taste even better.”

“Andrei please…” she whined and gasped when he wrapped his lips around her clit again, looking up at her as he did. He was going to be the death of her, but, fuck, there wasn’t a better way to go.

If he wasn’t holding her up, her legs would have given out and she moaned loudly as her grip tightened on his hair, needing to hold onto him, but it only spurred him on. After months of wanting her, he finally had her and she was moaning his name at that, legs tightening around his head and he could tell she was close.

Andrei was hard in his slacks, harder than he had ever been, but there was nothing he wanted more than to make her cum. He wanted her to cum on his tongue and realize that no other man could make her feel as good as he could. His eyes closed as he focused, needing to push her over the edge.

And then she was cumming. A long moan left her lips as she ground her hips against him and her grip tightened on his hair as she rested her head back against the door.

Andrei tightened his grip on her hips and his eyes closed as he groaned and pulled her closer. The only thing he could taste and smell was her and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He only pulled back when Zara tugged at his hair and his lips and chin were wet with her cum. His eyes were dark and dazed as he looked up at her and he licked his lips. He’d never get enough of her.

Her legs felt like jelly as her chest heaved but he was quick to wrap an arm around her as he stood up and pulled her flush against him. Zara’s eyes widened as she looked up at him and he knew she could feel how hard he was for her.

Her jaw was slack and she was still catching her breath but she couldn’t help herself, she pulled him in for a kiss and moaned at the taste of herself on his lips. Andrei deepened the kiss as he slid his hands up the back of her thighs and picked her up and walked her to bed. He needed her more than he had ever needed anything.

Zara needed him just as badly, needed to feel his bare skin against hers, but Andrei wasn’t done with her yet. He broke the kiss to drop her on the bed and when she looked up at him with a dazed, flush expression, he smirked. “Can you turn around for me, kisa? Let me get that zipper for you?”

She bit her lip as she nodded and rolled onto her stomach, arching her back to push her ass out for him and he groaned low in his throat making her shiver. Andrei ran his hands down her back to her ass and gave it a playful squeeze, loving the way she squealed under his touch before he trailed his hand down her leg and gripped her calf and dragged her closer, pulling a gasp from her lips. He fumbled with the zipper for a second as she squirmed under him before he managed to take it between his fingers and pull it down, revealing more smooth skin he was dying to get his mouth on.

Zara gasped as Andrei blanketed her body with his and pressed his lips to the back of her neck before trailing his lips down her shoulder as he gripped her hip in his hand. She pressed her ass back against his hips as she tried to encourage him on and pulled a low groan from him.

Once the zipper reached its end, he pulled back to push the dress off her shoulders and off her hips before dropping it to the floor. She arched her back and gave her ass a wiggle that only drove him crazier. “You’re so beautiful,” he told her, noting the freckles that decorated her skin before he turned her around and kissed her again.

She pulled him closer, looping her arms around his shoulders so his chest was pressed against hers and she wrapped her legs around his hips, feeling him through his pants. The kiss was softer than she was expecting, but she let herself melt into him as she ran her hands over his shoulders, feeling how firm he was under his touch before he knocked her hands away to pin them above her head.

Andrei broke the kiss to trail his lips down her jaw and neck, nipping at her skin as he left marks before soothing them over with his tongue, and Zara’s eyes close as she moaned his name. The sound went straight to his cock and he glance up at her before trailing his lips down to her chest, moaning against her skin when reached the top of her breast.

He gripped her wrists in one hand so he could cup her breast in the other and pinched her nipple between his fingers. Ever since they played volleyball and he watched her tits bounce as she ran around the court, he had been thinking about getting his hands and mouth on them and they felt even better under his touch.

He pressed his lips to the top of her breast before trailing his lips lower until he wrapped his lips around her nipple, pulling a sharp gasp from Zara that melted into a moan as she struggled against his grip on her wrists. Andrei groaned against her as he teased her nipple with his mouth and took his time to worship it and her eyes rolled back as she arched into him and whined his name. As good as it felt, she wanted more. Needed more.

He grazed his teeth over her nipple, making her arch into him with a gasp before he switched breasts to give the other one the same attention, leaving a few marks on her skin as she squirmed beneath him before he moved down her body.

Andrei kissed down her stomach, taking his time to mouth over her freckles before he pulled back to drag her down until her hips rested at the edge of the bed and he knelt down between them, letting his breath fanned over her cunt, making her whine.

“Andrei, please,” she begged. His mouth was amazing, but she needed him, not his tongue.

“Be patient, kisa,” he told her and nipped at her inner thigh again, making her whine before he got his tongue back on her. She was wetter than before and Andrei groaned loudly as he pushed her legs open wider and gripped her hips, his eyes closing as Zara’s grip on his hair tightened.

He looked up at her as he circled his tongue around her clit before he pressed one of his long, thick fingers to her entrance and he could feel how she clenched around nothing before he pressed it into her and he groaned against her at how tight and warm and wet she was.

Zara moaned at the feeling of his finger and when he curled his finger up and found her g-spot, she clenched down on him with a sharp gasp that melted into a long moan of his name. Andrei smirked as he pulled back from her clit to focus on her g-spot, loving how blissed out she looked as he brushed the tip of his finger over it.  

She was so turned on and sensitive from the first orgasm and he was overwhelming in the best way and she knew it wouldn’t take long before he made her cum again. Andrei smirked before he wrapped his lips back around his clit and Zara all but screamed as she clenched around his finger, her high suddenly a lot closer than she thought.

He held her gaze as he traced his tongue over her clit and with his thick finger inside her, brushing against her g-spot, it didn’t take much longer until she came. She came hard, her back arching as she tried to close her legs around his head and she gripped the sheet tightly in her hand as she moaned.

“That’s my girl,” Andrei moaned against her, the taste of her flooding his tongue. “So fucking good to me.”

She moaned his name as she writhed, it both too good and too much, and it was only once she came down from her high that she said, “you better fuck me, Andrei.” Her voice was breathless as she looked at him, her tits bouncing with every breath. “No more teasing. I need you inside me.”

Andrei smirked as he looked at her before he slowly stood up. “Oh baby, I plan on it,” he told her before making a show of undoing his pants. His belt came first and then the button of his slacks and then his zipper and Zara bit her lip as she watched him push his pants and boxers down and stepped out of them.

Her eyes widened as she finally got her eyes on his cock. She figured he’d be big, but, fuck, she was still taken back at how big he was and she pressed her thighs together with anticipation before sitting up and reaching out to touch him, needing to feel him again.

Andrei only pushed her back down where he wanted her. “You’ll get to feel in a minute kisa,” he told her before hovering over her, his cock hot and heavy between them. “It’s gonna feel so good.”

“Are you ever not cocky?” She asked breathlessly as she looped her arms around his shoulders.

“I think you like it,” he grinned and leaned down and kissed her deeply. Zara moaned against his lips and pulled him flush against her. She could feel how hard he was against her pussy and she ran her hands down his back as she felt him up. He was so strong and she scraped her nails over his skin, pulling a low groan from him and he ground his hips into hers. “Are you sure?” He asked.

“More than sure,” she told him. “Fuck me, Andrei.”

He groaned again and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before he pulled back and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom from the drawer, the foil crinkling between his fingers.

“You brought condoms with you and stashed them in your nightstand?” Zara asked, her eyes wide as she looked at him.

“I wanted to be prepared, just in case,” he told and quickly kissed her before she could answer. She moaned against his lips and cupped his jaw as she pulled him closer, letting him kiss the breath out of her before he pulled back.

He ripped the package open and rolled it onto his length before blanketing her body with his and as soon as the head of his cock brushed her entrance, she forgot about how prepared he was as she moaned.

“Ready?” He asked.

“More than ready,” she moaned. “Please fuck me.”

She didn’t need to tell him twice and he kissed her deeply as he reached between them to line himself up and sunk into her with a groan against her lips. Zara moaned as he stretched her, loving the feeling of him filling her up and when he bottomed out, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper.

Andrei broke the kiss to drop his head to her shoulder and he mumbled something in Russian about how good she felt. She felt so much better than he could have imagined and he couldn’t get enough.

“Oh my god, Andrei,” she moaned, her nails digging into his shoulders. He filled her up perfectly and with how sensitive she was from the previous orgasms it wasn’t going to take much for her to cum again. She was already fluttering around him and he bit down on her neck before sucking another mark onto her skin as he moaned. She squeezed him so well and she was the best he ever had and he hadn’t even moved.

Andrei sucked another mark into her skin before she squeezed his shoulder and he pulled back before thrusting back into her. He started slow, letting her get used to the feeling of him before he set a quick rhythm, hitting all the right spots as she felt every inch of him.

Zara was a mess as she clung to him and moaned his name. His cross dangled between them, reminding her of their sins but she didn’t care. “Don’t’ stop, oh my God, please don’t stop,” she moaned as she tilted her head back against the pillows.

“Don’t plan on it, kisa,” he told her and kissed her again, trailing a hand down to her thigh to put her leg up so he could get deeper.

“Oh fuck,” she moaned as she threw her head back. Her back arched and she clenched around him, she was so close. It made his hips stutter and he closed his eyes to tried to control himself.

“Gonna cum again, pretty girl?” He asked, loving how fucked out she looked. “Need me to…” he shifted enough to get his hand between their bodies and rubbed her clit, the tips of his fingers brushing himself as he sunk into her.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she gasped for breath. It felt incredible and she was so, so close. It only took a few circles of his fingers before she came again, squeezing him hard as she did and the noise that left her throat was something Andrei was never going forget.

He groaned, his jaw slack as he fucked her through it and his rhythm was getting sloppy as she fluttered around him, but he kept rubbing her clit, even when her moans turned to whines, wanting to pull another from her.

“Oh my fucking God,” she moaned loudly. She didn’t think she could cum again as she squirmed beneath him, but he didn’t let up and her high turned into another as she came again, her vision going white as she moaned his name.

He worked her through it and it was only once she had come down that he pulled his hand back in favour of gripping her hips and the room was filled with her moans and the wet sound of skin on skin and Andrei dropped his head to her shoulder as he got closer with every thrust and he wasn’t far behind her as he came, moaning into her skin.

Zara moaned as she tightened her legs around him, keeping him flush against her as her chest heaved. Andrei did his best to support his weight so he didn’t crush her, but he was just as breathless.

“Jesus Christ,” Zara whispered, completely spent as she trailed her hands down his back.

It made Andrei chuckle and he pushed himself up to look down at her. “No, just me,” he told her with a small smirk and she tugged on his chain to pull him down and kissed him. Andrei melted into the kiss, not wanting the moment to end; not wanting to lose her.

The kiss didn’t last as long as the others as they caught their breath, she kept her arms around him as she smiled softly. More of his weight rested on her than before but she couldn’t complain. He felt so good against her and she didn’t want to let him go.

Once he caught his breath, he kissed her again, this time slower than before and Zara completely melted into it, into him. Andrei was, for all of his youth, the best she ever had she couldn’t get enough of him.

He deepened the kiss to distract her as he pulled out, but she still whimpered against him and he murmured an apology against her lips before he pulled the condom off, tied it off, tossed it near the pile of clothes to be discarded later, and flopped onto his back next to her.

The sound of their heavy breathing filled the hot room, but neither of them said anything as they soaked it in. It was only once they had caught their breath that Andrei pulled back. “I’ll get us a cloth,” he told her before getting up, picking the used condom up and headed to the bathroom.

He did his business before wetting a washcloth with hot water and stepping out to wipe her body down, something none of her exes ever bothered to do. It made her gaze soften as she looked to him and she wondered how someone so young could be so perfect.

“Better?” He asked when he was done wiping her down and she nodded.

“I’m just gonna head to the bathroom, okay?” She told him before getting up. She told herself it was a combination of Andrei and drinks that made her stumble just a step or two before she opened his drawer and grabbed one of his t-shirts out and headed for the bathroom.

Her body was sore and she felt fuzzy in a good way. She took her time as she did her business and wiped her body down a little more before she brushed her teeth and pulled his shirt on. It was huge on her but it smelt like him and it made her smile before she opened the door and found him sitting up against the headboard looking at her.

Rationally, Zara knew that she should have put some distance between her and Andrei, put the pillow wall back up or something, but she couldn’t bring herself to, not when she came out of the bathroom and Andrei was curled up under the covers, his hair hanging in his eyes and a soft smile on his lips. It made her heart do somersaults in her chest and any idea of pulling away from him was completely abandoned.

The walk from the bathroom to the bed wasn’t far, but it felt long considering she was only in an oversized shirt, but as soon as she knelt on the bed, Andrei pulled the covers back and she curled into his chest with a content sigh.

Andrei ran his hand down her back as she settled in and ghosted his lips over her forehead, making her suck in a sharp breath. But the only thing she said was, “what does ‘kisa’ mean?”

“Huh?” Andrei asked and pulled back to look at her.

“You keep calling me ‘kisa’,” she explained. “I want to know what it means.”

“Oh,” he breathed a laugh and scrunched his nose up as he rolled completely onto his back. “It’s just a petname.”

Zara followed his body, resting her arm on his chest as she looked at him, “but what does it mean?”

“Let’s just say you lived up to it tonight, Z,” he tried, but she was persistent. She wanted to know.

“Andrei.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “It means kitten. And beyond you being cute and sweet like a kitten, fuck do you have claws like one, too.”

Zara blushed as she gave his chest a shove and rolled off him, turning to give him her back, but he was quick to wrap his arms around her and hook his chin over her shoulder. “I’m serious, kisa. Have you seen my back? Those definitely won’t heal by the time I have to get back on the ice.”

His words made her tense and the smile fell from Andrei’s lips as he nudged her onto her back so he was looking down at her, his weight propped up on his elbow. “Zara?”

“What are we doing, Andrei?” She asked softly, taking him off guard.

“What do you mean?” He replied.

“This, us, right now. What are we doing? We work together–I basically work for you–not to mention that I’m almost thirty and you’re just a kid. This… This was a mistake. I never should have let you pretend to be my boyfriend,” Zara rushed out before pushing the covers off, needing to get some air.

Andrei caught her by her wrist and he was quiet as he looked at her, his normally bright brown eyes dull with hurt. “I’m not a kid,” he started. “I’m 22, Skye just got married and she’s the same age as me. And you’re only 29, it’s not that big, and I don’t think a ‘kid’ could have done what I just did to you.” His voice was as firm as his grip on her wrist and Zara’s shoulders slumped.

“Andrei–”

“No, I’m not finished,” he cut her off. “Because I don’t think you really regret what we just did, and I know I don’t. I don’t regret it because I like you, Zara. A lot. And I want a relationship with you.”

She gave a defeated tug at his hold on her wrist before sitting down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “We work together,” she said softly. “I don’t want to lose my job because I got involved with you.”

“That won’t happen,” he tried to reassure her.

“You don’t know that.” Her voice was sharp before she tugged the bed sheet over her legs, feeling exposed. “And I know you said the age gap isn’t big to you, but you’re young, Andrei. I’m past the casual relationships and hook ups, I want something more. Wasn’t that the point of you pretending to be my boyfriend and all?”

“And I want to be your boyfriend all the time,” he told her and moved closed to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest. “Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I can’t be serious about a woman I care about.”

Zara couldn’t bring herself to pull away from him. She liked the feeling of him. Liked how he made her feel. Liked him. The whole trip, one thing after another, she learned new things about him, from his childlike wonder to his charm to his sharp wit and she realized just how much more to him there was under that confident NHL superstar persona.

Maybe he was right, maybe he was mature for his age. He had come over from Russia as a teen, lived on his own since he was 18, he understood the value of everything around him and never took anything for granted. Maybe he could be serious about a woman; about her.

But, at the same time, nothing had ever worked out for her and who was to say that this would end any differently? If someone her own age couldn’t understand her, how could someone who was barely old enough to graduate college (if he had gone)?

Zara liked him, she couldn’t deny that any longer. She liked how she felt around him and how they had been the whole trip and all the fun they had had together. But what if it didn’t work out and it costs her dream job? She couldn’t risk it.

“I’ve been trying to show you the whole time we’ve been here that I’m serious about you,” Andrei continued, making Zara look back at him.

“You haven’t been pretending?” She asked softly.

“Not for a second,” he told her without hesitation. “Well, okay, that’s a lie. I was definitely pretending that the volleyball to the balls didn’t hurt because it really fucking did,” he said with a laugh, pulling a smile from her and she gave him a playful shove.

“I apologized at least a hundred times for that, and…” She blushed as she shook her head. “And I can say that I definitely don’t see any residual effects of trauma to the area.”

He bit his lip, loving when she talked medical like that. It reminded him how smart and brilliant she really was. “No?” He teased. “Everything feeling good?”

“Very,” she told him and pushed her hair behind her ears. “But seriously, this week… It hasn’t been an act?”

“No,” his smile softened. “I’ve always liked you. Beautiful, smart Zara with the green eyes and freckles like constellations. Zara who takes everyone’s pain away and always knows just what to say. Zara with the brightest smile and jokes so bad you laugh at how bad they are instead of at the joke. Zara… who’s totally out of my league but I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you anyway.” He went on, gently running his finger down her arm. “I thought this was a good opportunity to show you that I could be a good boyfriend and I don’t pass up opportunities like that, you know me.”

Zara made a strangled noise, her throat tight and she quickly brushed her eyes. She didn’t know what to say and she surprised herself when she turned in his arms and kissed him. Unlike their other kisses, the kiss was soft and slow and Zara tried to pour everything she couldn’t say into it.

“You were good, are good,” she told him when she broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his, her hesitations melting away to him. “No man has ever treated me half as good as you’ve treated me this week.”

Andrei couldn’t help himself, he cupped her jaw and kissed her again, needing to feel her lips against his one more time to memorize the feeling in case this was the last time, like he sensed it was.

“But you don’t feel the same,” he whispered, making Zara pull back. “It’s okay. I kinda figured. I just thought–hoped–that maybe tonight meant something more, but it’s okay.”

“No, Andrei, I–” the corner of her lip twitched up as she played with the ends of his hair. “You are so kind and thoughtful and loving and considerate. None of the guys I’ve dated, even the one a decade older than me, has come close to being as amazing as you. I’m… I’m scared about my job, but I was wrong to call you a kid when you’re twice the man of everyone else.” He gave her a small smile, so she continued. “I want you to be my boyfriend for real, I just also want you to flex your star power and make sure I don’t get fired because I’m falling for you.”

His smile grew and he looked up at her, “you’re falling for me?”

“Hard and quick,” she replied honestly. “But I hear you’re strong so hopefully you’ll catch me.”

“Always,” he breathed and blanketed her body with his, knocking her down into the pillows, pulling a soft laugh from her lips. She ran her hands down his back as he held her and he barely noticed the sting as he focused on her.

“So, we’re doing this?” He asked, needing to hear her say it.

“We’re doing this,” she smiled and gently cupped his cheek as he kissed her, soft and sweet. When she broke the kiss, Andrei nuzzled at her neck and took a deep breath in, never getting enough of her.

Zara closed her eyes as she pulled him closer, but when she opened her eyes, she caught a glimpse of the angry red lines on his shoulder. “Andrei!” She gasped and pushed him back so she could sit up and get a better look at them.

“What?” He asked and watched her pull at his shoulder so she could look down his back and he smirked once he realized what she was looking at. “I wasn’t kidding about your claws. You got me good, kisa,” he laughed.

Zara was really getting tired of how easily Andrei could make her blush and she gave his chest a playful shove. “If you tell the guys it was me, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“We’ll, I’m gonna tell them,” he smirked. “Gotta brag about my smart and smoking hot girlfriend and let them know I more than satisfy her.”

She groaned and pressed her face into him. “Can you at least keep your shirt on all day tomorrow so my parents don’t see?”

Andrei pushed himself up and pulled her to his chest and she could feel the vibrations as he laughed, “okay, kisa.”

Between the warmth in his chest and Zara against him, the exhaustion hit Andrei like a ton of bricks and when he glanced at the clock, it was way too late. “We have brunch with your family tomorrow, right?” He asked and Zara’s groan confirmed it. “Yeah, okay. Then we need to rest. You will be exhausted when you get up.”

“I already am,” she replied but let him settle in before making herself comfortable in his arms. Her head rested on his chest and his arm around her waist kept her flush against him. His heartbeat was comforting and her whole body relaxed, feeling content and safe in his arms. Her eyelids got heavy fast and the last thing she remembered before falling asleep was the brush of his lips against her skin.

Yeah, she could get used to this.

–

Zara noticed two things when she woke the next morning. One, how nice it was to wake up in Andrei’s arms and feel his body against hers. And two, that it was too fucking early.

Her alarm was loud in her ears and she groaned as she pressed herself further into Andrei’s chest. His grip tightened on her waist as he stretched and tried to turn the alarm off, Russian curses falling from his lips until he managed to turn it off. “Better,” he mumbled and tried to settle back into bed, pulling Zara into being his little spoon.

It would be so easy for her to lean against him and fall back asleep and she wanted nothing more than to do just that, but they had brunch.

Did they really have to go, though?

Fuck, yes they fucking did.

But did they really?

You’re the sister of the bride, of course you have to go.

Zara went back and forth with herself before she sighed and reached over to grab her phone and added another alarm in half an hour. Satisfied, Zara put her phone back down on the table and snuggled back against Andrei. They could be a little late for brunch.

The next time she woke to her alarm going off, it was easier to get out of bed, since she was a little more rested than before, even if Zara wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with Andrei all day.

She felt like a zombie as she walked into the bathroom, the cold tile under her feet helping to wake her up. Her hips ached in the best way and she was only a little surprised when she realized she still wasn’t wearing any panties. It was only after she washed her hands that she finally met her gaze in the mirror and her hand flew to her neck as she gasped. She studied her neck for a moment, tracing the tips of her fingers over the dark marks Andrei so graciously left in his wake.

She grumbled as she opened the bathroom door and glared at Andrei, who was innocently playing on his phone while he waited. “Andrei whatever your middle name is Svechnikov, how the fuck am I supposed to cover these up for brunch!”

Andrei’s jaw was slack as he looked up at Zara who had both hands on her hips as she gave him an expectant look. He remembered trailing his lips down her throat a few times, but he didn’t remember any marks standing out half as badly the night before and he didn’t realize the damage would be that bad.

He cringed but gave her a half apologetic shrug. “Igorevich?” He offered.

“What?” Zara replied, shaking her head quickly.

“My middle name is Igorevich,” he repeated, making Zara roll her eyes.

“That’s what you got out of all that? Not the fact that my neck looks like I’ve been mauled by a vampire and we have brunch in an hour?”

“It’s not that bad?” He tried even though it really was.

“It’s awful,” she groaned, and it’s not like she brought any of her high neck shirts or dressed with her either. Her whole family was going to know what her young and hot–and actually real–boyfriend were up to.

But then again, she wasn’t the one that just got married and eyes wouldn’t be on her, and everyone knew what Skye and Toby would be up to… Maybe if she covered them enough, no one would notice them…

Zara did her best to cover the bruises and she wore a sundress with a deep V and a push up bra, hoping to keep her family’s eyes away from her so they didn’t notice her neck, and she wore her sunglasses to cover up her embarrassment if they did. Of course, Andrei had no shame and didn’t try to hide how his gaze was constantly drawn down Zara’s chest.

“Ready for hell?” Zara asked, making Andrei raise his eyes to hers.

“Do we have to?” He asked. “Because I can think of a much better way to spend the morning.”

Despite her attempt, her sunglasses did nothing to hide her blush as she pointed to the door. “Brunch,” she told him and ushered him out the door. He wrapped his arm around her as they walked and Zara leaned into him. They took their time getting to brunch, and, to no surprise, they were the last ones to get these. Andrei sat down next to Zara and kept his hand on her thigh the whole time, and this time Zara didn’t move it.

With all the attention on the newlyweds, no one noticed the poorly covered marks on Zara’s neck or the soft, enamoured look in Andrei’s eyes as he looked at Zara–except for maybe Skye, who gave Zara a knowing look, but Zara just flipped her off when no one was looking.

It was about time Zara got her Prince Charming.

–

For their last night in Tulum, Andrei made reservations at the resort’s high end seafood bistro where the rehearsal dinner was held. He was finally getting a first date with Zara, in Mexico no less, and he wanted to make it as perfect as he could.

He only had the one suit from the wedding, so it would have to do, even if it was a little… crumpled from their activities the night before. He did bring other dress shirts, however, so he paired his blue suit with a black button down and he used the mirror by the door to fix his hair and spray some cologne while Zara got ready in the bathroom.

She took her time getting ready, doing her hair and make up before changing into her dress. When she packed, she wasn’t sure of what to wear to the rehearsal dinner or to the dinner with her family, so she brought options, and since she hadn’t worn the black dress she brought, what better time than on a date with Andrei Igorevich Svechnikov.

The dress was just above floor length with only one shoulder and a high slit. Zara paired it with her heels from the wedding and perfume before opening the door and stepping out.

Andrei looked over at the sound of the door opening and her heels clicking on the tile floor and his breath caught in his throat as he ran his eyes down her body. Zara had always been a beautiful woman, the most effortlessly beautiful woman he had ever met, but holy fuck was she gorgeous.

Drop dead gorgeous.

“Wow,” Andrei breathed and Zara bit her lip as she turned to the side.

“Okay?” She asked, her eyes shining.

“Way better than okay, kisa,” he breathed and stepped forward to touch her waist. “Makes me wanna tear it all off you and have you for dinner instead.”

A wave of heat went through Zara’s body and her breath caught in her throat as she debated if she should just give into it like she had been craving all day. But this was their last night in Mexico. Their last night of free food and entertainment and she couldn’t just let that go to waste, not when they had all the time in the world in Raleigh.

“We have reservations, Drei,” she hummed.

“Drei?” Andrei asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Good? Bad? I don’t know, just trying it out,” she replied and nervously bit her lip.

“I like it,” he smiled before kissing her softly just because he could. Her lips were soft and he didn’t care that he’d smudge her lipstick or get some on him, all he cared about was her.

He’d never get enough of her.

When she pulled back from the kiss, Zara ran her thumb over his lips to wipe away the lipstick and she definitely didn’t feel hot and bothered when Andrei teasingly nipped at her thumb.

Andrei was only 22 and liked to play video games and makes a competition out of anything because his desire to win was so strong. When they were back in Raleigh, Zara barely gave him a second look. For as hot as he was, he was just Svech. She couldn’t imagine he’d be the one turning her upside down.

The difference a week made.

“Are you going to kiss me again? Or can I fix the lipstick you just ruined?” Zara asked and looped her arms around his neck.

Andrei hummed as he pretended to think about it. “I think I’ll kiss you again,” he told her and she couldn’t complain as he kissed her again. For all of his youth, he really knew how to use his mouth.

This time, when Zara pulled back from the kiss, Andrei chased her lips, kissing her deeper than before. Her moan was muffled by his mouth, but she let her fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his skull as she pulled him closer.

When he pulled back, Zara’s cheeks were flushed and Andrei only liked it a lot. It reminded him of how flush she looked when he was finally done with her the night before. “You sure you still wanna head out?” He tried but Zara wiped more lipstick off his lips before she gave his chest a pat.

“We’re going,” she told him before stepping back into the bathroom to fix her lipstick. It only took a moment and she couldn’t look at Andrei when she came back out because she knew she’d give in and she really wanted to enjoy their last night in Tulum, not just enjoy the night. So, it was only after she opened the door that she held her hand out to him. “Ready?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he breathed and stepped forward to take her hand. Zara smiled as they stepped out the door and Andrei wondered what he did to get so lucky.

The Bistro wasn’t far from their room. Really, the Bistro was the restaurant closest to them since it was on the water. They walked hand in hand to it and Zara tried her best not to think about how much bigger his hands were and how much she liked it.

Even though it was well into the evening, it was still and humid out and the breeze was welcomed as she walked and Zara kept looking up at Andrei, waiting to wake up because surely someone like him wasn’t meant for someone like her. But then he looked down at her with an adoring smile and gave her hand a squeeze and she knew it was real.

As soon as they stepped into the Bistro, they could see the ocean and smell the fresh seafood and Zara was so glad she forced Andrei to go. “Reservation for Svechnikov,” he told the hostess.

The hostess smiled as she nodded and picked up two menus and led them to their table right by the screen-free window so they could see the ocean. Zara’s shoulders relaxed as she looked out at the water before she looked over at Andrei and she gave him a warm smile. “This… This is beautiful,” she told him

Zara had had more than her fair share of shitty first dates. Dates who only spoke about themselves, dates who wanted her to eat a salad and nothing more, dates who wanted sex and nothing more, and dates who just plain spoke down to her. But they were all forgotten as she looked at Andrei, and even her best first date paled in comparison to dinner with Andrei right on the water.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Andrei replied without missing a beat, making Zara blush.

“Oh, stop it,” Zara replied but Andrei shook his head.

“Never.”

Zara’s blush darkened but she let Andrei have it as she opened the menu, having no idea what to get. Of course, everything looked good and fresh and she probably could have gone for one of everything if she was being honest. “What are you thinking of having?” She asked.

“The crab sounds good,” Andrei replied, taking his time to read the menu. “What about you?”

“That does sound good,” Zara hummed. “I’m thinking about the seafood linguine.”

“Pasta?” He asked and she nodded. “Yeah, pasta would be good.”

“Yeah, I think so,” she smiled and closed her menu. “Should we get a bottle of wine to go with it?”

The corner of Andrei’s lip twitched up. “If you order,” he told her. “I don’t know my wines.”

Zara wasn’t surprised by that at all but she laughed as she nodded. “Deal,” she agreed, already thinking about pinot grigio.

Their waiter came over not too long after with water for them and Zara ordered for them both, something Andrei definitely shouldn’t have found attractive. Especially after he had her moaning his name over and over the night before.

“What?” Zara asked once the waiter left, unsure of the look he was giving her. Andrei was all big brown eyes and soft lips and she wished she could read him better than she could.

“You’re just amazing,” he told her with a soft smile and Zara’s heart flipped in her chest.

“You’re not half bad yourself, Andrei,” she replied softly and toyed with the stem of her wine glass.

The corner of his lip twitched up as his eyes sparkled before he leaned back in his chair. “Tell me about yourself,” he told her.

Zara laughed softly. “What do you want to know? I mean, we’ve known each other for years already.”

He shrugged her off. “That’s Zara, the athletic trainer. I want to know Zara, the most beautiful girl in the world.”

Her blush darkened and she brushed her hair behind her ears as she ducked her head. “The whole world, huh?” She asked softly and Andrei’s smile widened.

“Whole world,” he repeated.

If Zara had butterflies before, she certainly had them now and she took a sip of her wine to settle herself. “Well, my name is Zara, middle name Iris after the Greek Goddess, and I’m the oldest of two–you’ve met my sister, obviously–I’m a Sagittarius, I grew up liking football, American football, rather than hockey, and it wasn’t until high school that I really got into the sport. I was on the debate team in high school and the model UN in college and everyone is always surprised to find out that I minored in politics.”

Andrei listened with soft eyes, hanging on to her every word. “So smart,” he whispered with a shake of his head. “I’m so lucky.”

Those three words shouldn’t have made Zara as warm and fuzzy as they did. “What about you, big boy? Why don’t you tell me about Andrei? And not Andrei Svechnikov, Canes legend at just 22.”

He laughed his beautiful deep laugh that Zara loved so much. “I’m from Barnaul, Russia. My brother is my best friend and family means everything to me and I’d do anything for them. My favourite food is borscht. People tell me I’m intense and that I need to relax, and I’m pretty good at magic, like making your panties disappear.”

Zara rolled her eyes but couldn’t deny it. “So, borscht, huh?” She replied, butchering the name and ignoring his last comment. “You’ll have to make it for me sometime.”

Andrei laughed, “me? No, I’m a terrible cook. My mother makes it best, but I’m sure she’ll love to make it for you.”

Her breath caught in her throat and she took another sip of her wine as they somehow went from getting to know each other on a first date to meeting his mother. But, then again, they had gone from meeting her family to fucking to a first date, so she shouldn’t have been so shocked. “I’d love to meet the woman who raised such an amazing son,” Zara told him, making his smile soften.

“Next time she comes to Raleigh then.”

“Perfect,” Zara smiled back and Andrei couldn’t help himself, he reached across the table to pick up Zara’s hand and brushed a kiss over her knuckles, making her melt.

Maybe it was the eldest daughter syndrome, maybe it was the debate club, but whatever it was, it had never been easy for Zara to admit she was wrong. But she had to admit it now. All the times she turned Andrei down, all the times she thought he was too young for her, too immature, she… she was wrong. So completely wrong.

Andrei… Andrei was sweet and kind and he understood things on a much deeper level than people gave him credit for, and he was mature beyond his years because he had to grow up too fast, even if that sometimes meant he compensated for a childhood he never really had. But, above all, Andrei was the most amazing man she had ever met, she had just been too blind to see it.

Their meals came not too long after and Zara only moaned a little at how good it tasted and Andrei’s eyes definitely didn’t darken at the sound. The conversation flowed easy as they ate and finished the bottle of wine she had ordered. And, of course, when they were finished and the waiter asked if they wanted to see the desert menu, Zara couldn’t resist.

“Kisa…” Andrei warned as he leaned back in his chair and ran his hands down his chest and stomach. It was bye-week, but that also meant they were in the middle of the season and he already had eaten more than he should have during this trip, a desert when he was already stuffed was pushing it.

“It’s our last night, Drei. And our first date. You can cheat a little, I won’t tell,” Zara smiled and handed him the menu. “Doesn’t the chocolate explosion cake look amazing?”

“Been cheating all week,” he mumbled but she was right. It did look amazing. “I’ll only have a bite or two,” he told her, such famous last words. Once the desert arrived, Andrei had half because it really was good, and as much as he tried to deny it, he did have a sweet tooth.

It wasn’t all that late by the time they left the Bistro, and as much as Andrei really wanted to take Zara back to their room and have his way with her, the sky was clear and the night was warm, so he suggested a walk on the beach instead. It was the most romantic thing anyone ever suggested to her and Zara loved it.

Once they reached the beach, they both took their shoes off and the sand was cool beneath their feet. When Andrei extended his free hand to Zara, she took it with a smile. Without her heels, her dress dragged in the sand, but she didn’t care. All that mattered to her was Andrei. His eyes looked darker in the moonlight and she smiled as she pulled him toward the water, wanting to feel the ocean at least once more before they left the next day.

Andrei laughed and pulled his hand from her in favour of wrapping it around her waist, wanting her as close as possible. It was easy for him to pick her up and spin her around in the ankle deep ocean water, making Zara squeal and his smile widen before he put her back down in the water, a little deeper than before, but she didn’t care as he kissed her again.

The water was nearly up to her knees, but all that mattered was Andrei and his lips on hers. He cupped her cheek in his free hand and tilted her chin up for a better angle before he deepened the kiss and Zara had to hold onto his waist.

“Is this really happening?” She asked when he pulled back.

“It is, or it’s the best dream I’ve ever had,” he replied softly, brushing his thumb over the arch of her cheek.

“Will we be okay in Raleigh? You know, once this bubble pops?”

The corner of his lip twitched up. “Everything will be perfect because you are perfect,” he told her.

Zara was quiet for a long moment as she looked at Andrei. “You promise?” She asked, feeling vulnerable despite being seven years his elder.

“I promise,” he smiled before he kissed her again and Zara clung to him, needing him and everything to be real.

“I’m really falling for you, Andrei Svechnikov,” she whispered.

“And I’ve really fallen for you, Zara Iris Roberts,” he replied with a smile and let his hands trail down to her hips.

At that, Zara pushed herself up to capture his lips in a deep kiss, pressing herself against him completely. To no surprise, Andrei took control of the kiss and Zara moaned softly against him, which only spurred him on and he kissed her until she was breathless.

“You know,” he started, the moonlight reflecting the mischief in his eyes. “It is kind of warm out…”

“Andrei…” Zara said, her tone warning him, not that he cared.

“We’re a bit away from the resort… There’s no one around but us… Why not have a bit of fun?” He told her and pulled back from her to walk back onto the beach to drop his shoes in the dry sand, shrug his jacket off and started undoing his shirt. As soon as the shirt was undone, it joined his growing pile, revealing miles of smooth skin and firm muscles, which made Zara’s breath catch in her throat.

“Andrei…” she started, but he undid his belt and pants before they joined the pile and he smirked at her.

“Never been skinny dipping, kisa?” He teased before pushing his underwear down, leaving him only in his chain before he made his way into the ocean, stopping only once he was up to his waist to look back at her.

Zara’s breath caught in her throat. Honestly? No, she had never been skinny dipping before. It wasn’t something that came up or something she really felt like doing. But it certainly was a different story when it was Andrei Svechnikov buck ass naked in the water waiting for her.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” She called out to him, but still walked over to his pile of clothes and dropped her heels.

“But I’m your crazy,” he replied and Zara’s heart fluttered.

He was, wasn’t he?

It took her a moment, struggling with her zipper before she managed to get it down and shrugged the material off her shoulder and down her legs. She kicked it toward Andrei’s pile of clothes, leaving her in just her black, lacy panties. Andrei’s eyes dropped down her body and he bit his lip, making her feel more confident as she peeled her panties off and kicked them aside before wading into the water.

It felt warmer since she had already been in the water, but she shivered when the water reached her belly, not that it stopped her from making it out to Andrei. He didn’t shy away from running his eyes over her chest as he wrapped his arm around her and Zara leaned into him, enjoying both his firmness and his warmth.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and Zara rolled her eyes.

“You’re only saying that because you can see my tits,” she replied, but he shook his head.

“I’m saying it because you are,” he told her and brought her out deep enough her breasts were covered by the water. “So beautiful.”

Zara melted against him and pulled him in for a kiss, her chest pressed against his. Andrei groaned against her lips and pulled her closer, loving the feeling of her chest against his, and not even the cool water of the ocean could stop him from getting a little hard, which Zara could feel against her thigh.

“Andrei,” she said slowly, but he only hummed and captured her lips in another kiss. “I’m not fucking you on the beach,” she managed to get out before his kisses. “I don’t want sand in my vagina.”

He groaned against her lips but pulled back to look at her. “But you’ll fuck me in bed?” He asked.

“Absolutely,” she breathed and let her hand trail down his hip.

Andrei groaned again and kissed her deeply, both hands cupping her cheeks, making Zara moan against him. “As much as I want that, want you,” Andrei said. “I just need to…” he didn’t finish his sentence as he pulled back and dove into the water, completely submerging himself.

The water was up to his shoulders when he re-emerged and he ran his hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead, and once again he had her whispering ‘fuck it’ before she dove into the water after him, not caring if her hair got wet or her make up ruined.

“Jesus Christ, you didn’t tell me it’s so fucking cold,” Zara gasped out when she surfaced next to him and she let his laugh warm her.

“It’s not cold,” he told her but moved closer so she could wrap her arms around him.

“Not all of us are from Siberia, Drei,” she told him and shamelessly pressed herself against him in search of warmth. She felt him laugh and his arm wrapped around her to help keep her warm.

His thigh slid between hers, pulling a soft gasp from her. “You’re really cold?” He asked, not moving his thigh.

Honestly? No, she wasn’t cold. Cool? Yes. Cold? No. But, what she wanted more than anything was for Andrei to take her back to the room and fuck her again. So, of course she nodded. “Very cold,” she told him. “So cold I think I might need some skin to skin contact under the covers to warm up.”

Andrei hummed and the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Should probably warm you up then, huh?” He said, his voice dropping, sending a shiver down her spine.

“Definitely should,” she agreed and rocked down on his thigh, pulling another groan from his lips and he quickly crashed his lips to hers, his hands on the small of her back to keep her pressed against him. Zara ran her hands down his side, enjoying every ridge of muscle her fingers trailed over and she knew she wouldn't be able to treat him without thinking about all the ways his body felt against hers.

Andrei nipped at her bottom lip, pulling a small groan from her and she put her hands on his chest as she pulled back. “You’re not fucking me on the beach so we–”

Zara couldn’t finish her sentence as Andrei picked her up with ease and started for the beach. She laughed as he carried her and it was only once they made it to their pile of clothes that Andrei sat her down. They only had to go from the beach to their room, so Andrei forewent the underwear in favour of just his slacks, carrying his shirt, blazer, boxers and shoes in his hand. Zara followed his lead and only put on her dress, but before she could pick up her panties, Andrei snatched them up and stuck them in his pocket, making Zara flush despite the chill. After she picked up her heels, Andrei took her hand and she laughed as he all but dragged her in the direction of their room.

It shouldn’t have turned her on as much as it did and she could see the water dropping down the healing scratch marks on his back and her whole body felt hot despite the evening breeze.

The beach chairs got more frequent the closer they got to the resort and there were only a couple lights from the resort’s pool and the moon illuminating the beach. They were the only ones out and it was late and it was their last night and okay maybe she had had one glass of wine too many but…

“Andrei,” she said and gave his wrist a tug as she stopped walking with him, making him turn back to her. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she started dragging him toward a chair with an umbrella that would hopefully provide a little more privacy, her heart racing with every step closer.

“Kisa, what’re you—?” He started once they came to a stop but Zara cut him off with a kiss that she quickly deepened before Andrei took control of it, dropping his clothes onto the sand in favour of cupping her jaw to tilt her head up for a better angle and she took the opportunity to reach between them to undo his slacks, making Andrei break the kiss to look at her with wide eyes. “Zara?”

She blushed and reached into his pants to get her hand on him, pulling a low groan from him. “I changed my mind,” she told him. “It’s our last night here, only chance…” She didn’t have to finish her sentence before he was kissing her again, deeper than before and she moaned against his lips when she felt him harden more in her hand.

Anyone who came to the beach could have seen them and that only spurred them both on and heat pooled between her thighs as she stroked him. Once he was completely hard, Zara broke the kiss to push him back onto the chair and he smirked up at her as he settled back before she helped him getting his slacks off.

“Condom I hope?” She said, holding his slack and he nodded.

“My wallet is in my right front pocket.”

She nodded and pulled his wallet out and handed it to him before dropping his slacks onto the growing pile of clothes and hiking her dress up around her hips and straddling his thighs. Andrei groaned as he watched her before opening his wallet to fish the condom out and handing it to her before dropping his wallet beside him.

“So fucking hot,” he groaned as she ripped the package with her teeth and rolled it onto him. She captured his lips to quiet him before she moved up to straddle his hips, lined him up with her entrance and sunk down on him.

Andrei’s moan was strangled in his throat and he broke the kiss to look at her, his jaw slack as he gripped her hips, keeping her still as she adjusted to him, her nails digging into his chest at the stretch. “Fuck, kisa,” he groaned with a breathless laugh. “Warn a guy.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” She smirked and kissed him again before pushing herself up and started to ride him slowly, feeling every inch of him every time she sunk down on him. He felt bigger than she remembered and she loved how full he made her feel.

She bit her lip to quiet herself as she started a slow pace, her hands planted on his chest to support herself, and to feel him. Andrei watched her with dark eyes, eating her alive. Even in the dark he could tell her skin was flushed and he wished she had taken her dress off so he could see her tits bounce with her every movement.

Instead, he pushed her dress’s skirt up to her waist and groaned loudly as he watched himself disappear into her. She was so fucking wet and stretched around him in the best way and fuck the ocean, this was the best sight in the world.

“So fucking beautiful,” he told her before he pressed his thumb to her clit, pulling a loud moan from her as her hips stuttered, but he helped her keep her rhythm.

“Drei,” she whined, half warning him, half begging for more. “Gotta be quiet.” The last thing she needed was for someone to find them before they couldn’t be quiet.

“Can’t help it, I wanna touch you all over. Wanna feel this pretty little pussy flutter around me when you cum on my cock,” he said, pushing himself up to kiss her deeply as he continued to rub the pad of his thumb over her clit. Zara moaned against his lips and gripped his shoulder tighter, his movement changing the angle enough that he brushed her g-spot, making her clench down on him.

“That’s my girl,” he praised when she broke the kiss, watching her with hungry eyes. “Riding me so good, kisa.”

Zara loved the praise and dug her nails into his skin with a soft whine, her high building quickly as he hit all the right spots on her, and when he thrusted up into her, she gasped and clenched down on him. “Oh my god, Andrei!” She moaned loudly.

He quickly pulled his fingers from her clit to cover her mouth with a smirk. As much as he loved her loud, loved knowing he was fucking her good enough she lost control, she was right about needing to be quiet so they didn’t draw attention to themselves.

Zara could taste herself on his fingers and she fluttered around him as she whined into his hand. She was so close, she just needed him to—

“Gotta be quiet, kisa,” he told her and pulled his hand back to drop it back to her clit, rubbing quicker circles as she clenched down on him and he knew she was close. “Come on pretty girl, wanna see you cum for me, wanna feel it when you cum on my cock.”

“Oh my God,” she moaned, her rhythm getting sloppier the closer she got. “Don’t stop.”

Andrei used his other hand to steady her before thrusting up into her in time with the rhythm of his thumb, wanting to watch her fall apart above him and he was rewarded as her nails dug into his chest as she moaned, grinding into his hand as he thrusted up into her and then she was cumming hard, raking her nails down his chest as she squeezed him tightly, her jaw slack as she moaned his name.

“Good girl,” he moaned breathlessly as she fluttered around him. He was just as close, addicted to the feeling of her cumming on his cock. He continued to rub her clit through her high until her moans turned to whines and he pulled back to grip her hips and thrusted up a little rougher as he chased his high and when she clenched down on him again, he was cumming.

He moaned and Zara gripped his cross and pulled him up for a kiss, muffling him with her mouth as she clenched down on him. Slowly, Andrei’s grip loosened on her hips and he cup her cheek as he softened the kiss.

Zara smiled into the kiss and when she finally pulled back from the kiss, it was only to curl into his arms, him still deep inside her. Andrei laughed as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. “I can’t believe we just did that,” she laughed breathlessly, still trying to catch her breath.

“Neither can I,” he laughed with her and playfully trailed his fingers over her side, making her squeal as he tickled her and he groaned again as she clenched down on him. “You’re incredible.”

She gave his chest a playful smack but that only made his smile widened and her smile softened as her heart panged in her chest. He meant so much to her and it was crazy to think that a week ago he was only Svech to her.

She watched his gaze dip over her features before he gently smoothed her hair back as his smile softened to match hers. “No more pretending, right?” He asked softly.

“No more pretending,” she agreed and kissed him softly, needing to tell him how much he meant to her. Andrei kissed her back just as gently as he ran his thumb over the arch of her cheek and kept her pressed against him.

The kiss was slow and it bled into the next and then the next and when Zara finally pulled back from the kiss, it was only to rest her forehead against his. She kept her eyes closed for a moment, soaking in the sound of the waves crashing against the beach and the smell of salt in the air before she finally opened her eyes and found Andrei looking back at her.

She didn’t know how she got so lucky.

Zara took a deep breath as she pulled back and gave his chest a pat, “we should head in before someone catches us.”

As much as he hated the idea, Andrei knew she was right and he took a deep breath before nodding in agreement. A moment later Zara lifted herself off his cock and whimpered at the loss but he quickly pulled her in for a quick kiss before letting her slip off him to get redressed.

He took a moment to watch her smooth herself over before he finally pulled the condom off, tying it and redressing, too. Like before, he forwent the underwear in favour of just his slacks, just like Zara wore only her dress. It wasn’t like they’d be staying on long after they go in anyway.

He carried his shirt, jacket and shoes in his hand and he took a moment to toss the used condom into the nearby bin before adding Zara’s heels to his pile and extending his hand to her. She smiled as she took it and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as they walked back to their room and for the first time in a long, long time, she wasn’t scared of what happened next.

She was happy.

--

Their flight back to Raleigh wasn’t until late afternoon the next day, so they slept in, trying to soak in every remaining second they had before their burst with the chilly Raleigh air.

Andrei woke first and when Zara woke, it was so Andrei ghosting the tips of his fingers down her spine. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered, his voice rough with sleep and Zara curled in closer.

“Morning, handsome.”

They were both content to stay in bed a little longer and Zara traced her finger down the line of his abs, loving the way he squirmed under her touch, ticklish, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Andrei was big and beautiful and beefy and strong and yet so soft and kind and cuddly under all that and above all, all hers.

His laugh was low in his throat as she grazed her nails down his side and the butterflies in her chest he always seemed to bring out returned as her smile softened and she couldn’t stop herself from kissing him.

His lips were soft and the kiss was slow and he was gentle as he cupped her jaw. Maybe it was because he was Russian, but fuck, he really was the best kisser. Zara couldn’t help but moan into the kiss and she tapped his chest before pulling away breathless. Andrei chased her lips, never getting enough of her. The kiss was softer and Zara smiled into it before gently pushing him back. “Let a woman breathe, Drei,” she laughed breathlessly.

“What’s the fun in that?” He countered, his eyes sparkling as he looked up at her. He was so lucky to have her.

Zara shook her head as she laughed and when she shoved him again, Andrei caught her wrist and brought it up to gently kiss her inner wrist and she wondered how she had missed what had been right in front of her all along.

They had a final breakfast at the buffet so Andrei could eat his weight in free food one last time and once they finished packing, they headed to the lobby to wait for their shuttle, Andrei’s hand never leaving hers.

Leaving the resort was bittersweet.

Andrei was warm against her in the full blast AC shuttle and his hand rested on her thigh the whole way there, and even if they had the whole row to themselves, Zara sat in the middle seat to be closer to him. His thumb traced soft circled on her thigh as he looked out the window but not even the blue gulf water meeting the white sandy beaches and palm trees couldn’t compare to Zara.

His smile softened as he looked back at her and his grip tightened on her thigh for half a second, needing to remind himself that it was real, that they were real. Zara smile as she looked back at him before she rested her head on his shoulder and Andrei sighed contently as he let his head rest against hers.

A lot had changed over their week in Tulum, but neither of them would change it for the world. They went to her sister’s wedding as friends—co-workers—and left so much more.

Raleigh had its own challenges with the season and working together and the guys, and just a few days ago all of those things scared the living shit out of Zara, but looking at Andrei now, his deep brown eyes looking at her like she was the most amazing thing he had ever had the privilege to see, for the first time in a long, long time, she wasn’t scared.

Zara had spent so long looking for her Prince Charming that she had been blind to him standing right in front of her, but now her eyes were opened and they belonged to him.

Whatever happened in Raleigh, they could handle it because it was them and they were together.

Just like they were meant to be.

Fin.

[ahockeywrites]

Better in Hoboken - Quinn Hughes

Authors note: let’s try this a second time because tumblr has decided to take a shit and fuck my formatting up 🙄. Thank you so much to @antoineroussel for organising the fic exchange I’ve had so much fun writing this story and I hope you enjoy it. I was matched with @torontoflames and I hope I’ve created a little story that you enjoy!

Warnings: underage alcohol consumption, swearing

Word count: 3.5k

Jack watched as Quinn scowled at his phone once again, clearly receiving another negative response from his friends about coming to the lake house over summer. Luke had invited his friends over from Michigan and Jack already had some friends over from when he was in the US National Team Development Program. Jack knew that Josh Norris was coming for a week slightly later in the summer but that was it.

“Probably not gonna make you feel much better, but I’ve got a friend coming over next week who’s your age,” Jack explained.

“Jack,” Quinn groaned, “you think inviting one of your hookups from Jersey is gonna make me feel any better?” It was as if Jack wasn’t even thinking about how his brother would understand his comment. From Quinn’s perspective, the only person he knew at the lake house was Nick Blankenburg from their time at Michigan together but it felt like he was imposing on Luke’s group of friends.

“Woah woah,” Jack started to recoil back, “Y/N is not a hookup. She went out on a few sort of dates with Nico because she’s friends with Ty’s girlfriend but nothing ever came of it and she just stuck around and joined our friendship group. She’s sound, an engineering student at Rutgers, but can’t go home as she’s international so I invited her here for a week, maybe longer if she wants to.”

Quinn showed the slightest hint of a smile, thinking that maybe he might not be the only one who barely knows anyone. “Okay,” he conceded, well, conceded might not be the right word. He was excited to have someone his own age hanging around not just Michigan freshman.

A few days had passed, and aside from having a few beers on a boat, wakeboarding, and going to the gym, Quinn really didn’t do much. Yes, he enjoyed cooking dinner for everyone on the barbecue and occasionally baking with his mother. But he felt isolated, that was until Jack announced to everyone that he was going to the airport to pick Y/N up.

All of Jack’s friends started whooping and Quinn could specifically hear Cole asking if she was Jack’s girlfriend, which he denied once again. “Just a friend who would be alone all summer if she didn’t come here.”

Just a friend. Those words rung around in Quinn’s head. He really hoped that his brother and Y/N really hadn’t done anything together because he had gone and found her Instagram profile and although it was on private, he sent a request. Within a few hours the words requested turned into following and he had gained himself a new follower too.

The feed contained photos of her studying, one at a Devils game where she was hanging out with some of the girlfriends and another from a night out with some of Jack’s teammates. The pair of them may not have been dating but they certainly were good friends.

Quinn couldn’t help but look at her Instagram feed and think that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Beautiful and smart was a winning combination in his eyes. All could hope was that she was funny to, or at least funny to him.

He had completely zoned out thinking about her, thinking what she could be like. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of keys jingling and Jack shouting that he was home, he came back to reality. Alex and Cole seemed to be sprinting back into the family room, dripping with chlorinated water from the pool. Nick was following closely behind, trying to get them to at least wrap a towel around themselves so they didn’t stain the carpets of the house.

“Boys, Y/N,” Jack introduced her. “Y/N, the boys.”

“Can’t wait for me to be the only girl once again,” she spoke whilst rolling her eyes. Y/N was used to hanging around with just guys, she thought it was just easier to hang around with them. Yes, she hung around with the WAGs occasionally and was also the go to person for events. It started with Nico after their failed tinder dates, then when the captain started dating Abbie, she was Jack’s go to.

Y/N had become like an older sister to Jack, helping him to cook and do basic house tasks which he struggled with. But he was always there when she needed him, like after her boyfriend had cheated on her, Jack was there as a friend with a pint of ice cream in the freezer and her favourite wine on the wine rack.

Jack did have the feeling that Sebastian was up to something behind Y/N’s back, however he didn’t feel it was his place to mention anything. She thought that something wasn’t right when Sebastian kept cancelling their lunch plans and found out when she turned up at his place with a bottle of wine, hoping for a cute evening date but ended up being greeted by an absolutely stunning, model-esque looking woman asking if she had turned up to the wrong house with a food delivery order. It took all of Y/N’s strength to not shout at the woman, knowing that she was unlikely to know that Sebastian was seeing another woman. All Y/N did was introduce herself as Sebastian’s girlfriend to which the other woman was confused. They were both of the impression that Sebastian was dating them, and only them. The pair of them then confronted him and Y/N invited Abbie back to her flat to share wine and rant about shitty men. Y/N and Abbie then became friends and to celebrate their singleness, Jack organised a night out for both of them, cementing Abbie into the group.

“Y/N!” Luke shouted, after running down the stairs to figure out what the commotion in the living room was.

“Baby Hughes!” Y/N replied, taking the younger boy into a playful headlock. Quinn watched as his youngest brother almost melted into the grasp of the woman. “If Jack had told me someone who can cook would be here, I would have been out weeks earlier.”

“Hey,” Alex looked shocked, “I can use the barbecue.” Y/N rolled her eyes, not trusting the words coming out of his mouth.

“Better than Jack, he struggles with everything,” Y/N joked before releasing Luke from the headlock and messing up Jack’s hair.

“And on that note, your room is upstairs,” Jack spoke before pretty much dragging Y/N up to the top floor where her room was allocated.

Quinn was fucked.

~~

Being the oldest there, Quinn was trusted by his mother to drive the boat out onto Lake Huron and he had to make sure that the boat was docked when he got back. Ellen Hughes didn’t spend too much time at the lake house when it was packed with young adults but she did make sure that everyone felt welcome. Quinn tried to extend his mother’s hospitality by offering to take Y/N to the store and to grab whatever alcohol and food she wanted. Her list wasn’t extensive but she offered to tag along with Quinn and help pick up the ever extending list made by Luke’s friends. The pair engaged in friendly conversation throughout the drive and in Target but it was limited to questions about their time at college and how difficult Jack can be at times. If Quinn was feeling awkward, Y/N didn’t notice it as she grew fonder of his presence, even if it was barely an hour they had spent together.

The pair stocked the fridge on the boat up with beers, White Claws and soft drinks before seamlessly moving on to preparing some food to eat on the boat too. Y/N chopped fruit up and made it look pretty before wrapping it in plastic wrap and setting it on the portable cooler and Quinn moved to prepare some pita bread, vegetable sticks and hummus. It was the first sense of calm that either of them had felt since arriving at the lake house.

Until Jack came tumbling down the stairs claiming that the girl he had been talking to back in Jersey was going to be coming out to the lake house for a few days. Y/N rolled her eyes, now it wasn’t that her and Faith didn’t get along. Faith seemed to be jumping from one famous person’s bed to another and that lifestyle wasn’t one that Y/N could see herself living. But she did her best to get along with Faith when she was around.

“There’s a girl?” Quinn questioned his younger brother, realising that there were more things that Jack was keeping hidden from him.

Y/N hummed in answer to Quinn’s question, whilst rolling her eyes giving the Canuck player all the information he needed about this girl.

“She’s getting here in a week,” he gasped, rereading the texts. Jack’s golden retriever behaviour didn’t just stop there as he almost sprinted over to his older brother to show him Faith’s Instagram profile. Quinn took Jack’s phone off him and scrolled through her account. It was bikini picture after bikini picture, with a few lingerie shoots dotted around. He noticed that, compared to Y/N’s account at least, Faith didn’t seem to show much personality. Y/N had her at brunches, in the electronics labs and at hockey games, Faith’s had none of that.

“She looks lovely,” Quinn managed to get out before shooing his brother off to get everyone else up for the day out on the lake.

The water was calm as Quinn drove the boat out onto the lake. The stillness calmed him as he concentrated on taking everyone to the small island in the centre of the lake safety. Quinn watched the branches of the trees on the shoreline move with the gentle winds and the waves crashed softly on the sandy beach, slowly bringing him to a state of relaxation he hadn’t felt in some time.

Quinn was brought out of his calm state by his youngest brother shouting the unfortunate nickname given to him by his teammates. He rolled his eyes before turning around to see what the commotion was.

“Alex wanted to know where the White Claws were,” Jack told him.

“And you had to ask me, whilst I’m driving the boat?” Quinn replied, annoyed with the middle Hughes brother.

“Well you packed the boat full of stuff,” Jack said nonchalantly, “why would anyone else know where the stuff is.” Jack shrugged his shoulders, stocking the boat up with alcohol generally fell to Quinn because he was the oldest and usually the only one who could legally be seen with the alcohol.

“Y/N,” Quinn replied, “you know, the other 22 year old who can drink. Plus she helped me set up the food so you know it won’t kill you.” Quinn rolled his eyes at Jack, he really was clueless the majority of the time.

“Oh,” Jack sighed. He would have tried to make some connections between Y/N and Quinn heading out to the shops together and them getting the boat ready, but he was too occupied with his phone and replying to Faith with snapchats of himself on the lake.

Alex didn’t need Jack to ask his older brother where the alcohol was as it was obvious, where else would it be but the fridge. He swiped himself a pineapple White Claw and a Cherry one for Y/N. She hadn’t asked, but he assumed that she wouldn’t turn down a drink. “So,” Alex started, wrapping his arm around Y/N, “you deal with Jack all season long, and you choose to come here and hang out with him more?”

“Let me make this clear”, she replied, cracking open the can and taking a sip, “I did not come here to hang out with Jack any longer.”

“So why come to Michigan,” Alex asked, genuinely curious. He didn’t know how someone could put up with Jack on an almost daily basis, but to come and hang out with him and his friends during her summer break, it seemed crazy to him.

“Needed a break from Jersey City, couldn’t go home, here was the next best thing,” she smiled before flicking her head down so the sunglasses that were resting on the top of her head sat on the bridge of her nose. “Even if it means dealing with Jack pining over a woman once again.”

Quinn looked back to see Alex pissing himself with laughter at something Y/N had said as she sipped on the drink he hoped she had got for herself. The pair seemed to be in a conversation, ignoring the antics of the other boys on the boat and it made Quinn hate himself for being the responsible one. He wanted to be sat at the back of the boat, with his arm wrapped around Y/N, forgetting everyone else even existed. But he didn’t let his emotions show, he couldn’t.

The boat didn’t stay on the lake for too long as Quinn knew that Jack wanted to get a barbecue going so after everyone had jumped into the lake and got enough pictures for their first Instagram post of the summer, he turned the boat around and drove slowly back to the shore. Y/N steadied herself before attempting to get off the boat but she could feel her feet slipping on the inside of the boat. Before she could fall down, a pair of strong arms caught her, keeping her from losing her balance.

“I’ve got you,” Quinn spoke calmly, “one foot in front of the other, you’ve got this.” Quinn’s voice soothed Y/N as she held his hand to get off the boat.

This action went unnoticed by most, except for Jack.

~~

Y/N was woken up to the sound of ceramic breaking and pans being smashed together and she had to admit that it wasn’t her preferred way to wake up. She grabbed one of her oversized Devils shirts given to her by one of the team and found her slippers before swinging open the door to the room which she was staying in. Standing directly opposite her was Quinn, his hair disheveled and bags under his eyes very apparent. All he was wearing was a pair of team issued shorts and his thighs were on full display and Y/N had to stop herself from staring at him.

“I think we get coffee, some fruit and head outside to ignore whatever they’re doing,” Quinn suggested. All Y/N could do was agree because the sound was causing her to develop a headache.

“I’m just gonna grab some Advil before we head out,” she explained to Quinn before running back up the stairs to find the medication.

Quinn started to collect some fruit out of the fridge before setting the coffee machine up to make Y/N’s favourite. There was also a jug of chilled water which he brought out to the decking along with some glasses. Next was the plates and bowls and he thought he would go without anyone noticing him until Jack shouted directly at him.

“Yo Quinner,” he exclaimed, “whatcha doing?” Jack questioned as he dodged some pancake mix being thrown through the air by Alex.

“I am getting some breakfast, then going to sit outside and eat it,” Quinn groaned, really wishing he could have just not been spotted.

“Alone?” His younger brother questioned, knowing that it was likely that he wouldn’t be alone.

“For gods sake Jack,” Quinn replied, “Y/N isn’t feeling too good so I’m hoping some fresh air and food helps her, okay?” All Jack could do was nod, he was pretty preoccupied with all of his hockey friends so didn’t really have much time to spend with Y/N but was glad she was being friendly with his older brother.

The cool wind hit Y/N as soon as she stepped outside and Quinn noticed immediately. He excused himself quickly before speeding into the laundry room to find one of his mums spare blankets. A large fluffy blanket engulfed Y/N, immediately warming her up. She thanked Quinn profusely but his only response was a blush.

“Eat some food then have some Advil,” Quinn instructed. “We can always take the boat out later because sea air is the best air.”

“Just the two of us?” Y/N asked, really hoping that it would be a chill day.

“If that’s what you want, yeah, just the two of us,” Quinn confirmed. “Let’s eat then we can get the boat ready.” She nodded, looking forward to another day out on the water.

~~

The cool breeze floated over Y/N’s skin as she drank out of the travel mug Quinn had prepared for her with some peppermint tea. She sat next to Quinn as he aimlessly directed the boat along the lake. Sometimes she even steered the boat, reaching over over Quinn’s lap. That was until he had enough and pulled her onto his lap.

His hand found presence on her thigh, thumb rubbing semi circles on the jeans she wore. Y/N settled into his touch, slowly sipping on her tea, which had cooled down sufficiently for her to drink.

There were only two more days until she left to return to Jersey, back to a job where she ground coffee beans and made the most ridiculous caffeine concoctions for those doing summer school in Jersey. The occasional banker or lawyer would pop in because the queue was usually shorter than ones in the centre of town.

“You’ll come visit when you’re playing in Jersey right?” Y/N asked meekly, not too sure if Quinn would want to keep the friendship they had going.

“Of course,” he replied, shifting slightly so that his whole hand was now sitting on her thigh. “I can’t deal with Jack and Luke on my own.”

Y/N replied with an awkward smile and nod of her head. She knew she wouldn’t be the only reason he was in Jersey and that was okay.

“It’ll be great to see you too,” Quinn finally got out. He felt a tug towards Y/N whenever she was around, he wanted to be around her, he wanted to talk to her. He enjoyed the time they had spent together even if it was Jack who introduced them.

“I’d like to see Vancouver too,” she spoke, trying to convince herself that she could do this. “I’ve never been to the West Coast.” A small smile graced Quinn’s face, hoping he had read the signals right.

“Vancouver is nice,” he said, “not as nice as here though. I’d pick being back home over Vancouver any day. I’m back end of August if you want to come visit, get away from Jack at the start of training camp.”

“I’d like that,” she replied, turning her head around to look at Quinn. He moved the thumb that was resting on her thigh to slowly draw around her bottom lip, eyes flicking between her lips and her eyes. “Kiss me Quinn.”

He didn’t need any more convincing as he pressed his hips to hers in a sweet kiss. The pair shared a few more kisses before Y/N pointed out a small island where they could dock the boat and sit on the beach for a few hours.

Quinn opened out the picnic blanket on the sandy ground, before quickly popping back onto the boat to grab a few drinks. Y/N and Quinn both cracked open a can of soda before digging a small hole to rest the can in when they weren’t holding it.

She kicked her sandals off, encouraging Quinn to do the same. He complied, not realising that Y/N was going to drag him into the water. Looking back to the blanket, Quinn thought he would be able to throw his shirt over to it so he could give it to Y/N if she got too many of her clothes wet.

It didn’t go as he planned as the wind caught his shirt, blowing it back into the water. Quinn watched as she started laughing at him, not with malice.

She was beautiful.

~~

“Quinn,” Y/N giggled as she rounded the corner. Quinn was trying to lift her up and place her into a fireman’s hold over his shoulder but she wasn’t having any of it. She darted out of his grasp as soon as she noticed what he was thinking. They looked like two young lovers spending a summer holiday on the lake.

Jack looked out of the window to see who was causing the noise, thinking it was one of their neighbours but was pleasantly surprised when he saw his brother and best friend. Inviting Y/N out to Michigan was one of the best things he had ever done. Jack hoped that the pair would end up hitting it off, but going back to Jersey with a potential sister-in-law was certainly not on his mind.

Life might be better in Hoboken, but holidays are better in Michigan.

[kailyn-writes]

Us || Tyson Jost x Reader

Pairing: Tyson Jost x Reader

Author's note: This is for @one-night-story for @antoineroussel's Summer Fic exchange! I loved writing this so much and I truly hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did brainstorming/writing it!!

Warnings: alcohol mentions/drinking, mutual pining, Tyson being an idiot, a little bit of angst but nothing too crazy!

Word Count: 8k (whew! I think this is the longest fic I've ever written)

It took you much longer to get settled in Minnesota than you would’ve thought. After a full year of living in the city, you were just now starting to get out and make friends. It wasn’t entirely your fault, though. Work had you swamped constantly, something that was just starting to alleviate since you were no longer the ‘new girl’ at your job. 

It also helped that one of your college friends had moved to the area for a job as well and was now dragging you out every weekend. You weren’t as much of a partier as Emily, but you had to admit that she was fun and your friend group had definitely grown because of her. 

You see, Emily had started dating Matt Dumba only a couple of months after she’d moved out to Minnesota. They’d met at a bar one evening, and soon Emily was introducing you to him and his teammates. 

You’d grown used to hanging out with the guys, and several of them had become protective of you, especially after your most recent boyfriend. 

You had started dating Jason before Emily moved to Minnesota and once she did, it was like he became an entirely different person. He was jealous and controlling, possessive. He stopped going out with you and Emily after she met Matt and he never wanted you to go out with them either, but you did. 

Jason never hit you, but you were honestly a little afraid of him. He had a temper and he liked to throw things at you when he was angry. You were really thankful when Matt and a couple of his teammates came and helped you get your stuff out of his apartment. 

That was almost two months ago and you hadn’t been out with Emily and Matt since. Every time she invited you, you told her that you had to work or you just weren’t ready to get back out there. She never pushed you too hard, but after almost three full months, she was not taking no for an answer. 

That’s how you ended up at your favorite bar on a Friday night, after a win for the Wild. Emily had accompanied you to the game, teasing you as the guys skated by and waved, your cheeks flushing with warmth with every smile and wink sent your way. 

You and Emily were the first two to arrive to the bar, so she went to snag a couple of tables, while you went to the bar to order drinks. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a man approach and settle himself at the bar next to you. You could feel his eyes on you, but you kept yours locked on a fixture behind the bar, hoping he would get the hint. 

“Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?” You raise your brows at the man next to you, fighting a smile. 

Before you can respond, though, Matt Dumba is clapping his hands on the man’s shoulders, grinning. 

“Is Tyson here bothering you? Because I can easily make him go away.” Matt grins at you, teasingly squeezing Tyson’s shoulder. Tyson’s brows raise as he looks between you and Matt. 

“You two know each other?” Tyson asks, confused. 

“This is Emily’s best friend. Tread lightly, we like her more than we like you, Tyson.” Matt jokes, moving to wrap an arm around your shoulder. You smile sweetly at Tyson, who just chuckles. 

“Alright, off-limits, got it.” He says, nodding. 

“I do believe that is for me to decide.” You finally speak up, smiling. Matt chuckles, nodding. 

“And what do you say, totally off-limits?” Tyson asks, smirking. 

“I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize your relationship with your teammates, and like Matt said, they do like me better, so.” You shrug, teasing. Tyson chuckles, nodding. The three of you are interrupted by the bartender setting drinks in front of you, and you hand Emily’s drink to Matt. 

“Take this to your girlfriend, tell her I’ll be over in a few minutes.” You instruct Matt, who nods, taking the shot and the drink from you. You take your shot, setting the glass back down on the bartop. “Don’t take Matt too seriously, Tyson. I don’t actually think they like me better than you.” 

“I don’t know about that, but I don’t doubt that he’d kick my ass if he thought I hurt you.” Tyson says jokingly, and you chuckle.

“Good thing you won’t, right?” You ask and he nods. You grab your drink, giving him a small wave before walking back to the tables Emily had saved, grinning when some of the other guys on the team greet you excitedly. 

Brandon pulls you down to sit beside him, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he clinks his beer against your glass, grinning. 

“Was that Tyson you were just talking to?” He asks, tilting his head down so you could hear him. You nod and he grins, nodding in approval.

“He’s a good dude. Just got traded here a couple weeks ago. Could use a friend.” He says and you raise your brows, chuckling.

“Are you trying to set me up, Duhaime?” You ask and he shakes his head.

“Nah, just don’t wanna see you with a dude like Jason again.” He says, and you furrow your brows. You’re not sure where this is coming from, but Brandon drops it a second later, laughing at something Boldy says from across the table. 

Shortly after 1 AM, you make the decision to head out, standing up from your spot at the booth. Tyson had joined the group a couple of minutes after you had ventured over, taking the seat across from you. He stands up as well, letting Emily out from her spot. She pulls you into a hug and you roll your eyes, though you hug her back. 

You say your goodbyes to the group, ruffling hair and patting shoulders as you make your way around the table. Duhaime ruffles your hair back, promising you a puck at the next game, though all of the boys know that anytime they toss you a puck, you hand it to a kid nearby. 

Before you can leave, though, Tyson says he’s gonna head out as well, brows raising as the guys holler and whistle, teasing the two of you. 

“You wanna share an Uber?” Tyson asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket as the two of you head towards the exit.

“Sure.” You say and he nods, holding the door open for you. You step out into the cool night air, goosebumps prickling your skin immediately. You take a deep breath and release it, feeling the stuffiness of the bar leave you. 

Tyson hands you his phone to input your address, your place being the first stop. You type it in before handing it back to Tyson, who’s brows furrow in confusion before he looks up at you.

“Is this where you live?” He asks.

“Uh, yeah. That’s why I typed it in.” You say, chuckling softly. 

“That’s where I live. I just moved in last week.” Tyson says and you raise your brows, surprised.

“Really? Well, I guess that worked out well for us.” You smile and he nods, smiling at you.

A couple of minutes later the Uber pulls up and the two of you get in, only after confirming that this was your driver. 

“So, you just got traded here?” You ask Tyson and he nods, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I got here about three weeks ago. From Colorado.” He says and you murmur an ‘ah’.

“You played for the Avalanche?” You ask and he raises his brows at you, surprised.

“You watch hockey?” He asks and you can’t help but giggle.

“I only started because Emily drug me to Matt’s games, but now I kind of enjoy it.” You explain and he laughs. 

The two of you make small talk for the rest of the ride, both of you slowly becoming more and more comfortable with each other. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you wait for the elevator, though, both of you distinctly aware of the night coming to a close. 

Tyson lets you step on first, following quickly behind. You push the button for the third floor before looking over at Tyson.

“I’m on the third floor as well.” He says, nodding. You smile, before stepping back to lean against the elevator. You can feel your body growing tired with every second you stand there. The elevator dings and then the doors open, you and Tyson stepping out. 

“I’m, uh, this way.” He points down the hallway, going the opposite direction of your apartment. You smile and nod, stepping back towards your door.

“Goodnight, Tyson.” You wave, before turning to walk to your apartment, pulling your keys from your pocket.

“Goodnight!” Tyson calls after you, waiting until you make it safely into your apartment to walk to his. 

You’re groggy when you wake up the next morning, groaning at the headache that immediately roots itself behind your eyes. You crawl out of bed, running a hand through your tangled hair as you walk into your bathroom to get ready for the day. 

Pretty soon, you’re walking out the door of your apartment, one earbud in as you quickly make your way down to the lobby of the building. Your Saturday morning routine always consisted of a morning walk with a stop at the coffee shop in the middle of your route. 

You’ve just stepped off the elevator, glancing down to turn on your music, when you look back up, you’re surprised to see Tyson opening the front door to your building, smiling at you. His hair is damp, shiny curls falling onto his forehead as he makes his way over to you.

“Good morning! You’re up early.” He says, once he’s inside the building. You settle yourself into a spot near the door, but still out of the way. 

“Hey, Tyson. It’s almost 10 AM, I figured I’d get out of bed and get a coffee to start the day.” You say, shrugging. 

“Oh, cool, are you going to walk to Cloud 9 Espresso?” He asks, and you nod, smiling.

“Yeah, I walk there every Saturday morning.” You explain and Tyson grins.

“Can I walk with you?” You raise your brows, a little surprised at his request. 

“Didn’t you just get done with practice?” You ask and he nods. “Aren’t you tired?” 

“Not really. So, what do you say?” He shrugs, still smiling at you.

“Okay, yeah, you can come with.” You shrug in response, before pulling your earbud out of your ear to tuck it back in its case. 

“Do you normally listen to music while you walk?” Tyson asks, as he moves to open the door for you. You nod, stepping out the door.

“Sometimes music, sometimes a podcast. Depends on how tired I am that day.” You say with a chuckle, and he nods. 

The walk to the coffee shop is pretty quick, though you have to remind Tyson a couple of times to slow down. His cheeks flush each time you do, his hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. You can’t help but chuckle each time, assuring him that it’s okay, you’re just reminding him. 

Once the two of you arrive at the coffee shop and place your orders, you find a place to sit and chat while they make them. Tyson tells you about his move from Colorado to Minnesota and you tell him how you ended up here as well. 

It feels so natural with Tyson, like the two of you had always been friends. His laugh is like pure gold, and you would be lying if you said that it didn’t give you butterflies. 

As the two of you start to walk back to your apartment, coffees in hand, Tyson settles himself on your left side, the opposite of the walk there, when he was on your right side. You take notice of this, though, you don’t bring it up. 

Tyson takes this time to ask more about you and you do a deep dive into your friendship with Emily, explaining that the two of you had been acquaintances in college and got close when she moved here for a job, and that was how you’d met the rest of the team. He asks about you and Duhaime, but you roll your eyes, assuring him that Duhaime is just a friend, albeit a little protective because of your ex. 

The two of you are just walking up to your apartment building as you finish telling him this, and you stop yourself from going any further, not wanting to get into it with such little time left. 

The elevator ride up to your floor is spent talking about the game tomorrow and Tyson’s brows raise when you tell him you’ll be there, though you shake your head when he asks if you’re sitting with Emily in the friends and family box. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tyson.” You say, as you both step out of the elevator. He nods, waving softly as you walk back to your apartment. 

The rest of your Saturday is spent cleaning and cooking for the week, getting yourself ready for whatever the week throws at you. 

Sunday is another pretty relaxing day; The Wild have an early game at 1 pm that day, so you take a couple of hours to relax before you head to the arena. It’s almost noon when you arrive, immediately heading to find Emily inside the arena. 

The two of you always stood at the glass for warmups, a tradition that had started with your very first hockey game. You liked getting to see everything up close and you enjoyed getting to see how excited the little kids around you got when their favorite player skated up in front of them. 

Today’s the first time that you’re actually looking for someone, though, and not just watching the team skate. It takes you a few minutes to spot him, his head of curls hidden by the helmet. You smile as he skates around the ice, weaving in between players, shooting the puck. 

He finally notices you just a couple minutes before warm-ups are over, smiling and waving as he skates in front of you before going back to shooting pucks. It’s such a simple thing but it makes your heart pound and butterflies flutter in your stomach. 

The Wild had an awesome game that day, winning 4-1, Tyson scoring two of those goals. Emily invites you to come to dinner with a few of the guys and their significant others, but you decline, feigning exhaustion after the game. 

You’d already been home for roughly an hour when your phone buzzed, a text message coming in. You open it up to see an unknown number, a smile forming on your face as you read it. 

“Hope you had a good time at the game, it was good to see you again!” As you’re reading, another message appears underneath the first and you can’t help but chuckle.

“This is Tyson, by the way. Got your number from Emily.” 

Texting Tyson is fun and lighthearted. He understands when you get busy and don’t open his messages, but will crack a joke or double text when you open the message without responding. 

You don’t get to see Tyson until the next Saturday, when he joins you on your coffee run once more. The team had a game the next day in Dallas and then they’d be on the road until Thursday. 

Slowly, Tyson started to consume your Saturdays. First, it was just coffee and then straight back to your separate apartments, but right back to immediately texting each other. Then one Saturday, Tyson suggested walking to the park near your apartment, and you said yes. The next Saturday, you asked if he would be okay if the two of you walked to a bookstore near the coffee shop and he agreed. 

After a couple of weeks, Saturdays were reserved for you and Tyson. Even on game days, he would wake you up earlier than you would have liked, to get in your daily walk and coffee chat. And then he’d drop you at your apartment with the promise of seeing you later. Then he’d go to practice, come home and do his pre-game ritual, before heading to the arena. 

It had also become ritual for him to look for you during warm ups, something that Emily and Matt had taken note of on separate occasions. He’d skate over, smiling softly. You’d wave and he’d come to a hard stop, kicking up a bunch of slush in front of you. The first couple of times, this action had made you jump, something that Tyson thought was hilarious, and you had come to chuckle about. 

Now, he’d skate over and kick up slush, the two of you smiling throughout the routine, before he skated away. 

Today was no different. It had been roughly four weeks since you and Tyson had met and just about two weeks since he’d started doing the little routine during warm-ups. Emily and you were situated in the same spot as always, her in a Dumba jersey and you in a plain Wild hoodie. She’d seen you eyeing the Jost jerseys while the two of you were shopping and once Tyson finished his little routine and skated away, she bumped your shoulder.

“What’s going on between the two of you?” She asks and you shrug, warmth spreading up your chest and towards your cheeks. 

“We’re just friends.” You say and Emily rolls her eyes. 

“Really? Just friends?” She asks, and you nod.

“Yeah. There’s nothing going on between us.” You shrug and she looks at you, incredulously. 

“Do you have feelings for him?” She asks and you’re taken aback, brows furrowed in shock.

“What? No, Em. Like I said, we’re just friends.” You assure her and she shakes her head.

“That’s not what I’m asking and you know it.” She says and you just wave her off.

“Can you just drop it?” You ask and she sighs heavily, pausing before nodding. 

“Sure.” She says and you smile, looping your arm through hers just as warmups end. 

“Great, let’s go get some popcorn, I want a snack.” She laughs as you tug her along, rolling her eyes. 

You don’t tell Tyson about Emily’s questions the next day, when he knocks on your door with a bagel from your favorite place and a movie he’d picked up for the two of you. Instead, you watch as he settles himself on your couch, leaving space for you. You maneuver yourself into your usual spot, his legs on either side of your thighs, your legs resting on his as he traces abstract figures on the front of your calf. 

You can’t focus on the movie, though. All you can think about is what Emily said, and the feeling of Tyson’s warm fingers on your leg. You’d never had a friend that was as touchy as Tyson. You’d played it off, saying that he was affectionate with everyone, but now you couldn’t recall a single time that he was as affectionate with others as he was with you. 

There was the time that he was teaching you how to hold the golf club at TopGolf with Emily and Matt and a few other guys, his arms encircling yours as he walked you through the motions. 

And then there was every time the two of you would walk to the coffee shop. He never let you walk next to the road, he always made sure that he was on the outside. You hadn’t noticed it at first, but after a few times, you’d asked him about it, and he said that’s what his mom had always taught him. The guy walks next to the road, in case anything happens.

You don’t get any sleep that night, your mind racing with thoughts of Tyson and what this meant. 

About a week after your conversation with Emily, you finally confess to her your feelings. The two of you are watching movies on her couch one evening, when you finally spill the beans. She grins at you, before standing up and heading towards her bedroom. You sit on the couch, brows furrowed in confusion until she comes back into the living room, a gift bag in hand. She hands it off to you, still grinning. 

“What’s this for?” You ask, toying with the handle on the bag.

“Open it and find out.” She says and so you pull the ribbon off the handles, opening the bag to reveal a green Wild jersey. It’s not until you pull it out of the bag and look at the back that it clicks. It’s a number 10 jersey, with Jost written in white letters. You laugh, hanging your head.

“How did you know?” You ask her, moving to give her a gentle hug.

“I saw it in the way you looked at him. You never looked at Jason that way, not even in the beginning.” She explains and you nod, fingers toying with the jersey. 

“But what if he doesn’t actually like me?” You ask and she shakes her head.

“That boy is head over heels for you. This is how we get him to realize it.” She says, reaching for the jersey.

The next home game is only two days away and you arrive at the arena, clad in your favorite jeans and new jersey. Your heart is pounding as you find your spot against the glass with Emily. You stand with your back facing the ice, chatting with her. You stay like that for a couple of minutes after warm ups start, until she taps your arm to let you know that Tyson has seen it. When you turn around and catch sight of him, you can’t help but laugh at the goofy expression on his face. He slowly skates over, a grin forming on his face as he does. He comes to a stop in front of you, kicking up a slurry of ice. He stares at you for a moment before tugging on his jersey, then pointing at your new jersey. You raise your brows, pinching the bottom of the jersey and holding it away from your body, silently asking ‘what do you think?’. He gives you a thumbs up, grinning. 

That night, you join the group at the bar, a request Tyson made as soon as the game was finished. Tyson didn’t leave your side that evening, and the drunker he got, the handsier he became. About the time that Tyson separated himself from you long enough to go to the bathroom, Brandon slid into the empty seat, smirking at you.

“So, you and Jost, huh?” He asks, wiggling his brows. You shake your head at him, laughing.

“We’re just friends, Duhaime.” You say, but he shakes his head. 

“What? Really?” Brandon asks and you chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re just friends.” You assure him and he raises his brows, smirking.

“Oh, you guys are keeping it on the DL. Got it. I won’t tell anyone.” He pulls his fingers across his lips in the ‘my lips are sealed’ motion, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“We really are just friends.” You try to assure him, but he shakes his head.

“No, I see the way he looks at you. He definitely wants to kiss you.” Brandon says, voice dropping low as he leans in, like he’s telling you a secret. “And I know you want to kiss him too. I can see it.” 

You bite your lip, eyes focused on your hands. They fidget on your lap before you look up at him, defeated. You were tired of holding back your feelings, acting like they didn’t matter. “Okay, you’re right. I have feelings for Tyson, but he doesn’t reciprocate them, he literally just went on a date last week!” You argue, but Brandon shakes his head.

“He didn’t like her. Said she wasn’t anything like you.” He slurs and you bite your lip, sighing. 

“I’m going to go find him.” Brandon stands up to let you out, smirking. You make your way towards the bathrooms, leaning against the wall to wait for Tyson to come out. After almost ten minutes, you head back to the table, brows furrowed in confusion. Emily sees you and walks to meet you halfway, her own brows furrowed.

“Tyson texted Matt a bit ago that he had left, that he wasn’t feeling good, did he tell you?” She asks, and you shake your head.

“No, I thought he was still in the bathroom. We were supposed to share an Uber back.” You sigh, feeling a bit dejected.

“C’mon, Matt will take you home. We’ve got to get Duhaime home as well.” She says, and you nod. You and Emily manage to get Duhaime outside, into the cool night air, while Matt brought the car around. 

“I can’t believe he just left like that without telling you.” Emily says, after a couple of seconds of silence. You nod, fidgeting with your hands.

“Maybe he just wasn’t feeling good and thought I wouldn’t want to leave yet.” You say, shrugging. Emily thinks about it, before nodding.

“Yeah, that’s gotta be it.” She says, just as Matt pulls up to the curb. The three of you pile into the car, you and Duhaime in the back. Matt drops you off at your apartment first, stepping out to hug you goodbye. They’re flying out to St. Louis for five days the next morning, for games three and four of the playoffs. You hadn’t been able to get the time off, so you would be staying back in Minnesota, watching eagerly as the Wild tried to beat the Blues. 

You don’t hear from Tyson the entire time the Wild are in St. Louis and, to be honest, you were getting pretty annoyed with him because of it. You’d texted, you’d called, you’d sent him a snapchat. If you hadn’t seen him on the ice for the two games, you’d be worried he was dead. But he wasn’t, he was blatantly ignoring you. 

The series is tied when the boys come back into Minnesota, everyone hoping that the Wild would take a lead that evening. You’d worn your Jost jersey, hoping to at least get a reaction out of him that way, but Tyson barely ever looked your way. He never skated over, either, completely skipping the pre-game routine he’d created with you. 

It was hard for you to focus on the game at hand, your thoughts occupied with Tyson and what could have lead to him ignoring you like this. Emily is no help, shaking her head and trying to brush away your thoughts of the boy in favor of the game at hand. 

The Wild lose that evening, despite their best efforts. There’s no celebration, no drowning their sorrows in alcohol because the still have game six to come back and win. Everyone goes back to their homes, forlorn and exhausted. 

The Blues win the series two nights later, and just like that, the season has come to an end right in front of you. Emily pulls you in for a hug and you squeeze her waist tight, looking around the box as other significant others do the same. You nod when Emily asks if you want to go down to the tunnels with them, hoping that if Tyson saw you there, he might speak to you. 

You stand and chat with the other women as everyone waits; the air is heavy, despite the grinning children running around and your laugh as you play with a couple of them. You hear the guys before you see them and you set down the child you’d picked up, your smile fading as you watch the players come into view. Matt is out quickly, hugging Emily and burying his hea din her neck. He turns to you after a couple minutes, pulling you into a hug as well. 

Brandon is in front of you next, pulling you into a hug as he wraps his arms around your waist. You ruffled his hair, a sad laugh falling from your lips. 

“You guys played great tonight, you should be proud of yourselves.” You murmur as he squeezes gently, before releasing you. 

Tyson walks by just as Brandon sets you down and you turn your head, calling out his name. You shoot Brandon an apologetic look, though he nods, as you rush to go after Tyson. 

Tyson’s got some long legs and you can’t seem to catch up to him, especially when he clears the exit several seconds ahead of you, jogging to his car. You sigh as you lean against the door, running a hand through your hair. 

You walk back towards the others, shaking your head when you see Brandon, Matt and Emily watching you expectantly. 

“That’s it,  I’m kicking his ass.” Brandon goes to walk past you, but you grab his arm, stopping him.

“Brandon. Just let him go.” You say, sighing softly. Brandon softens when he looks at you, nodding. 

With hockey season over, your life seems to slow down. You spend more nights inside your apartment, more weekends cleaning and watching Netflix than before. Your Saturday coffee walks aren’t as fun as they used to be and you spend most of them thinking of Tyson. 

With Tyson ignoring you, Brandon seems to fill your time nowadays. He knows that you’ve still got feelings for Tyson, but he enjoys your company and is particularly bored without his strict schedule of practices and workouts. 

About a week after the season has ended, you and Brandon are at the mall, you shopping for some new work clothes. You broach the subject carefully, though you’re not sure why you speak tentatively. 

“Have you heard from Tyson at all?” You ask, brows raised slightly as you look up at Brandon. His brows furrow and he stops walking, holding his hand out to stop you.

“He didn’t tell you?” Brandon ask and you shake your head slowly.

“Tell me what?” You ask, concerned.

“He flew back to Canada a couple of days ago.” Brandon says and your breath hitches in your throat, mouth opening in shock. “I’m sorry, I thought he would’ve at least told you that.” 

“You know what? Whatever. It was just a stupid crush anyway.” You say, shaking your head. 

“Hey, no, it wasn’t stupid. Tyson just.. I don’t know, he’s being an ass and I swear he’s normally not like this.” Brandon assures you, but you shrug.

“It’s fine, really.” You tell him, waving him off, before you continue walking. 

The first couple of nights after that are messy, to say the least. You overdo it with Emily on night and she lets you crash on her couch, only after you’d started crying at the sight of your building from her car. 

A couple of nights later, Brandon lets you crash at his place, once again very drunk. Emily and Matt hadn’t gone out with everyone that night and after your 9th shot, Brandon had decided you’d had enough. You wake up the next morning with very little recollection of the night before, in someone else’s bed and someone else’s clothing. 

It’s funny, what ensues after that, especially when you see Brandon emerge from the bathroom in just a pair of grey sweatpants and you swear you nearly pass out right then and there. 

After that, though, your summer really picks up. You spend days on the lake and Brandon teaches you to golf, even though you’re no good at it and you complain too much for his liking. 

By the time hockey season is about to start up again, you’ve pushed Tyson almost completely from your thoughts. 

Almost. 

Brandon had invited you to the “end of summer bash” with the team, though you’d protested pretty hard. The two of you weren’t dating, Emily and Matt weren’t back from their vacation yet, so really there was no point for you to go. But Brandon had cornered you and looked down at you with pleading eyes, telling you that he wanted you to go. 

And here you were, in your best swimsuit, hair pulled back, sunglasses sitting low on your nose as you watched Brandon with a smile. 

Tyson had walked in a half hour after you had arrived and you’d yet to even make eye contact with him, though you were pretty sure that’s because he wouldn’t even come outside. 

With a quiet excuse of needing another drink, you headed for the kitchen, smiling at a couple of people you passed. The cool air from the house hit you like a truck and you sighed deeply, goosebumps immediately rising on your skin. You grab a bottle of water from the fridge and are just about to head inside when you see him.

Tyson’s sat at the island just a few feet away from you, arms folded on top of the counter, foot bouncing furiously. 

“So, you and Duhaime, huh?” Tyson asks, his jaw clenching as he nods towards the backyard. 

“What are you talking about? Brandon and I are just friends.” You say, unscrewing the cap on your water bottle to take a drink.

“That’s not what it looks like.” He says and you let out a dry chuckle.

“Oh, yeah, like you would know, you haven’t even been here.” You shoot back. 

“Well you seemed pretty buddy buddy with him earlier.” He says and you just shake your head. 

“It’s really none of your business who I’m “buddy buddy” with, Tyson.” You say, running a hand through your hair. 

“You’re right, but you didn’t have to go fuck my teammate.” He spits and you reel back, mouth open in shock. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” You say, anger boiling in your veins. 

“You could’ve at least waited until I was gone to screw him.” Tyson stands up, and you clench your jaw, closing your eyes. It takes a second, but his words register and you look up at him, confused.

“What are you talking about, Tyson? Brandon and I didn’t get close until after he told me that you’d left for Canada.”

“No, I saw you guys whispering at the bar the same night that you wore my jersey for the first time. It looked like he was about to kiss you.” Tyson says, his tone is less angry now, though still defensive. 

“He didn’t kiss me. He never has. We were talking about you. I was telling him that I had feelings for you.” You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Oh.” Is all Tyson can say, before you turn around and open the back door. He’s left standing there as you beeline for Brandon, telling him that you’re leaving. You explain the situation to him and Brandon’s eyes lock with Tyson’s, a threatening look on his face. 

You have to walk past Tyson to get your stuff, and you brush past him without even saying anything. He follows you to the front, though, trying to talk to you. 

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” He says and you shake your head. 

“You didn’t even try to figure out what was going on before you just started ignoring me, Tyson. How do you think that made me feel?” You ask and he sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

“I wasn’t thinking, honestly. I just saw you all cozied up next to Brandon and instead of trusting you or even asking you about it, I ran. Because at least that way, it would hurt less.” You scoff at his words, shaking your head, as a car pulls up. You confirm the information for your Uber, opening the back door. 

“Yeah, cause that worked out real well. Goodnight, Tyson.” You close the door behind you, turning your head away from Tyson as the car drives away. 

You can’t focus next morning, the fight with Tyson consuming your thoughts. It’s almost lunch time by the time you finish your first task and when you leave work for the day, you’ve only completed a messy 4 tasks total. 

Sitting on your doorstep when you arrive home is a bouquet of daisies, one of your favorite flowers. You pick it up with a soft sigh, reading the card.

I was an idiot and I’m sorry. -Tyson

You unlock the door to your apartment, immediately going to find something to put the flowers in. You knew that it would be hard to resist Tyson, which is why you let yourself feel excited about the flowers. You texted a picture of them to Emily who quickly asked who they were from. 

You spent the rest of that evening deciding on your feelings for Tyson. 

The next morning, just as you’re finishing up getting ready for work, you hear a knock on your door. Sitting on the ground is an iced coffee and a bag, which when you look inside it, has a croissant in it. On the bag is another note and a smile forms on your face as you read it.

Let me make it up to you -Tyson

You’re not sure what he’s got up his sleeve, but you decide to let this play out. 

The next gift left for you is a bucket of movie essentials; popcorn, a couple of movies, and your favorite candy. Tucked in between the popcorn and the movies is your latest note and you pluck it out of its place, smiling. 

Meet me at the park tomorrow at 8 pm. Dress nice -Tyson. 

Part of you wants to throw the note away and ignore him, but the other part of you misses Tyson and wants to know what kind of plan he’s got up his sleeve. 

The next day, Emily comes over after work to help you with your hair and makeup and you pick out a lavender dress and nude sandals to wear. Emily smiles wistfully at you, brows raised, a silent question of if you’re sure about this. You nod before hugging her and thanking her. You decide to walk to the park, taking the same path that you and Tyson had taken several times before. 

It’s 7:55 when you arrive at the park, but Tyson is nowhere to be seen. Your eyes span across the area, before catching sight of Brandon Duhaime. He waves at you, as you make your way over to him, and you smile softly at the boy. 

“Follow me, m’lday.” He says, offering you his arm, once you're close enough. You loop your arm through his with a soft chuckle, as the two of you start walking further into the park. 

It’s quiet as the two of you walk, and you’re tempted to ask where you’re going, but you bite your tongue in favor of being surprised. You’d never been this far back in the park, you honestly didn’t even know it existed. 

Brandon slows his walking as a gazebo comes into view and a soft gasp leaves your lips as you catch sight of it. Fairy lights are strung all along the outside and inside of the gazebo, and flowers of all different kinds are woven into their strands, giving it the most ethereal feel. Standing inside the gazebo is Tyson, dressed in a navy suit. He wrings his hands as he waits, and you can’t help but smile softly at the nervous action. His movements stop when he finally catches sight of you, though, a grin spreading across his features.

Brandon slips his arm out of yours, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he pushes you towards Tyson, smiling. 

“Wow.” Tyson breathes out as you walk up the steps and stand in front of him. 

“I think I should be the one saying that.” You tease, glancing up and around the gazebo, in awe of it. He clears his throat and a soft song starts playing from somewhere behind him. 

“The night that I met you, my entire life shifted. Up until that moment, I had continuously felt like “the new guy” since I’d departed from Colorado. You accepted me so easily into your life that sometimes it felt like it had always been that way. Somewhere along the way, though, my feelings changed. The night that you wore my jersey to the game, I was planning to kiss you. I was going to walk you to your door and tell you goodnight and then I was going to kiss you, and instead of doing that, I freaked out. I overreacted and left without even telling you goodbye.

“As long as you will let me, I will spend all of that time, making it up to you. I never should’ve just walked away, and if you don’t want to see me or speak to me after this, I will leave you alone for good. But if you let me try to make it up to you, I promise that you won’t regret it.” 

“I never regretted a second spent with you, Tyson, and I’m not about to start now.” Your voice is shaky as you speak, taking a step towards Tyson. 

“So, can I kiss you now?” Tyson asks softly, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him. All you can do is nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as he closes the distance between the two of you, pressing his lips to yours softly. 

You hear Brandon whooping and hollering behind you and your cheeks flush as you pull away from Tyson, smiling. 

“How are you ever going to top this, Tyson?” You ask, teasingly, as he takes your hand and leads you down the steps of the gazebo. 

“I’ll figure something out.” Tyson says, smirking, as he pulls you closer to him, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

Two years later, you and Emily are walking to the very same park, with her beautiful daughter Lily. After a quick stop at Cloud 9 Espresso, you carried on with your walk, six month old Lily fast asleep in her stroller while you chatted with her mom. 

“So, do you think Tyson is going to pop the question anytime soon?” Emily asks, smirking, as she sips on her coffee. Ever since her wedding a year ago, she’s been asking about it nonstop. You caught the bouquet that evening and she couldn’t help but grin over at Tyson, who’s eyes were wider than normal, though he was grinning at you. 

“I don’t know. We’ve talked about it a little bit but he hasn’t really hinted at it or anything. I think he’s waiting for the summer because I told him a while ago that I wanted a summer proposal and a winter wedding.” You shrug, tucking your hands into your coat pockets. 

It’s lightly snowing as you make your way towards the park, the February chill seeping into your bones. The All-Star game is tomorrow, and Tyson wasn’t going, though Matt was. Emily had elected to stay home with the newborn, though, and you were enjoying the time with just her. 

“Are you going to say yes if he does propose soon?” Emily asks and you look at her, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, I love Tyson. I don’t care when he proposes, or how. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him.” Emily breaks out into a grin as you speak, eyes staring out at the playground wistfully. 

The two of you keep walking, Emily carefully pushing the stroller on the wet sidewalk, her secretly guiding you towards the back. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to make it closer to the back of the park and you look around, smiling softly.

“This is where Tyson asked me to give him a second chance.” You say, looking around, before catching sight of something behind a tree. “Hey, what’s that over there?” 

“Why don’t we go see?” Emily asks, and you nod, taking the lead. It’s not until you get closer and can see behind the tree that you register what it is. 

You see, the original gazebo you and Tyson had stood in two years ago had been torn down due to rotting wood. You and Tyson had mourned the loss of that spot a year ago, when the city tore it down. 

Set up in front of you, though, is a brand new gazebo, wrapped in warm fairy lights, a light dusting of snow covering the top of it. You can’t help but step closer to it, smiling softly at the memory it brings up. 

“Do you like it?” You turn quickly at the sound of his voice, brows furrowed. Standing to the side of you is Tyson, smiling softly. 

“It’s beautiful. Just like the one from a couple of years ago.” You say and Tyson nods. 

“You should, uh, you should look up.” He suggests, and you furrow your brows, though you do as he says, tilting your head upwards. Carved into the wood at the top is Your and Tyson’s initials, encompassed in a heart. When you look back down, Tyson is standing inside the gazebo in front of you, smiling lovingly at you. 

“C’mere.” He says softly, and you go to step towards him, though Emily stops you. She gestures towards your coat zipper and You reach for it, eyes widening when you realize what is happening. You unzip the coat, revealing your thick sweater and jeans, before handing her the coat. 

You step back towards Tyson, tears already forming in your eyes. He sniffles a little, jaw clenching as he fights back his own emotions. Soft music plays behind him and he can see the photographer he’d hired out of the corner of his eye. He knows that just out of eyesight, a group of your friends and family sit, watching as the two of you have this moment. 

“Two years ago, we stood in a similar spot in this very park. The circumstances were less than ideal, though. I was apologizing to you, asking you to forgive me, because I screwed up before I even had a chance to call you mine. You accepted my apology and accepted me that day. Every day since then, I have strived to be a better man for you. I have strived to be your best friend, the best man that I can be.” 

Tyson sniffles, clearing his throat as he reaches for his hand. A tear slips down your cheek as you smile softly up at him.

“It hasn’t been easy, but you have stuck by me, pushed me to be better, pushed me to reach goals I didn’t even know I had. I have been so lucky to watch you grow as a person, a friend, and as my partner. I want to watch you grow for the rest of our lives. To grow into a wife and a mother and a grandmother. I want you to push me to be the best husband, the best father, the best grandfather. There is no one that I would rather do this with than you.” 

You’re full on crying at this point, one hand still in Tyson’s, the other covering your mouth. Tyson reaches up and pulls that one into his hand, holding both of yours with one of his as he reaches into his back pocket for the ring, as he sinks down to one knee. 

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Tyson has barely finished the sentence before you’re nodding, reaching out to pull him up to you, kissing him. You can feel him smiling into the kiss, shaky hands circling your waist as cheers erupt behind the two of you. 

“I can’t wait for you to become Mrs. Jost.” Tyson whispers against your hair as you slip the ring on and watch all of your friends and family make their way towards the gazebo.

[wyattjohnston]

to hold your hand (would be the bravest thing) - ryan graves

summary: the maritimes aren't large, and it's not even unlikely that Lily would know and be friends with nhl players. her manager doesn't seem to understand. (another summer friends-to-lovers fic?? in this economy??)

word count: 5,738

note: this is for the summer fic exchange, written for @ryngrvs. who else was i going to write for you, c? thank you to @danglesnipecelly for 500 words of text messages that helped teach me about the Maritimes and to @joshuaanderson for helping make sure this made sense.

There was a serenity about the golf course that Lily had never found anywhere else. The calm air, the perfect grass and the time to herself were all precious.

The peace and tranquillity were destroyed by the golfers who had made it to the green she was near, especially when they knew her. Which was most of the time. Prince Edward Island wasn’t exactly huge.

Over the summer that all changed. Prince Edward Island overflowed with tourists as soon as June hit and it only got worse as the season moved on.

It was still early in the day, not even eight, when Lily saw the first golfers of the day—a trio of men who owned the best equipment, Lily could tell that even at a distance. From the same distance, Lily was able to tell that the three men had been to the course before due to the familiarity of their movements.

She waited diligently for the next swing to be completed—because ruining a game of golf was a sure-fire way to make all three of them grumpy for the rest of the day—before she raised onto her toes and waved broadly.

“Ryan!” she shouted as she waved before she raced across the green. It was wholly unprofessional and only something she was doing because nobody else was on the green—including her manager who was the only person she really cared about seeing her.

All three men were awaiting her arrival, Ryan looking by far the most pleased to see her whilst Sid and Nate were just amused by the sudden stop she came to right in front of them.

“You’re a liar,” she said, poking aggressively at Ryan’s chest. “You said you weren’t going to be home for another week.”

Ryan took hold of her hand, holding it to his chest to prevent any further poking. Lily didn’t put up a fight, she never did, and instead just looked up at him longingly, forgetting that they weren’t alone.

“It’s a surprise,” he said gently. “You love surprises.”

She agreed, softly, “I do love surprises.”

“I love golf—” Nate interjected, causing Lily to jump back. It took a moment for Ryan’s brain to catch up and let go of her hand. “—can we get this show on the road so you can catch up later?”

As excited as Lily was to see Ryan again, catching up was never best done while he completed a round of golf and she laboured away maintaining the grounds and collecting the golf balls missed by the person whose job it actually was.

When they arrived back at the clubhouse, where Lily was doing yet another job that didn’t fall under her real job description, they stopped at the maître d’ station.

“Did you make a reservation?” she asked, tongue in cheek, directing her question at Ryan because she would never dare say anything similar to Sidney Crosby.

“I know you’re really, really busy,” Ryan said, his eyes scanning the half-empty dining room, “but I was hoping you could do us a favour just this once.”

“I’ve been doing you nothing but favours since I was thirteen.” As Lily was speaking, she moved to pull out three menus from the station but hadn’t even lifted them when she was interrupted.

“Gentlemen,” said Gary, her new manager, as he stepped in between the maître d’ station and Ryan, Nate and Sidney. “Please disregard Miss Newell, we have plenty of space for you to eat. I apologise for her behaviour.”

“It was just some fun,” Sidney said gently, making eye contact with Lily and nodded as he did so. Lily nodded back calmly, but when she made her contact with Ryan her brow furrowed and her nodded turned into a confused shake.

Gary seated the trio, Lily watching their every move and rolling her eyes at how overly attentive he was being and stifling a giggle when Ryan pulled faces behind Gary’s back.

Another group of golfers came in for lunch and Lily composed herself, putting on her most professional-yet-friendly persona as she greeted them and led them to their table. She only looked away from them when Gary passed her, asking to speak to her when she was ready.

“You just let me know if you need anything at all, but I’ll send someone over to take your drinks order in just a moment,” Lily said to the table, smiling despite her confusion and wariness.

Gary was waiting, hidden away from the prying eyes of their customers, with a vicious scowl on his face that Lily had never seen before.

“Do you think that was appropriate behavior?”

“Do I think what was appropriate behaviour?” she clarified, only imaging the number of things Gary could pull out of his arsenal. It could have been from three days prior at the rate he was giving her a talking to.

“Treating guests like that.”

If she was feeling up to it, if her job wasn’t something she actually enjoyed, she’d feign innocence and ask which guests, but there was no point playing coy.

“That’s how I treat all my guests. We have a friendly rapport with everyone.”

“Not with the likes of Sidney Crosby,” Gary said firmly, and Lily couldn’t fight back the fake and sarcastic smile that grew on her face. “He’s not your friend and you should treat him with respect.”

“I think Sidney Crosby appreciates being treated like he’s a human being,” Lily said, the sweetness of her voice bitter.

Gary huffed and gave her a stern warning about respect and a thinly veiled warning that she’d be monitored for her behaviour. She barely resisted the urge to flip him off when his back was turned to her.

Ryan came over after Lily finished work, or, more accurately, he was waiting for her when she pulled into her drive.

His car was parked there already and, seeing no sight of him, she bypassed the front door to venture directly to her backyard. Unsurprisingly, Ryan was sitting in the couch swing on her back porch, swinging back and forth idly.

“Did you come home early, or have you been lying to me for a month?”

“Lying through my teeth,” he admitted easily, slowing his swinging just enough for Lily to comfortably sit down beside him. “I thought you were onto me.”

“I didn’t even have a chance to think about it,” Lily said, crossing her legs beneath her and letting Ryan control their swinging. “I’ve been preoccupied by Gary.”

“Gary’s… Something.”

“Yeah, well that’s one way to put it,” she said, her eyes rolling in exasperation. She nudged Ryan with her elbow, “Tell me more stories about the kids you babysat.”

Lily listened intently, unbothered by Ryan repeating stories she’d heard throughout the year. Almost everything he’d told her was worth the repetition and had her in fits of laughter as the sun began to lower in the sky.

The beauty of her job was the early, serene starts which resulted in early finishes leaving the whole afternoon to be enjoyed. During the summer those afternoons were mostly filled with Ryan Graves, but all seasons involved her parents, her best friend Eliza, errands or sitting on her back porch and enjoying whatever weather had been granted to the island that day.

“How’s…” Lily slowed her words, desperately trying to come up with the name of the person she was asking after. Every female name she’d ever known immediately left her mind.

“You going to finish that thought?”

“I can’t remember your girlfriend’s name.”

“Bianca,” Ryan offered, unbothered by Lily’s admission. “I don’t even think we made that official. I thought I told you, sorry.”

Lily hummed, if only because she couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t a revelation that she never wanted to know about Bianca in the first place.

Gary didn’t stop. She hoped that he’d just been having a bad day when he’d pulled her aside in the restaurant and yet, when she saw him next, he was watching her more carefully than he ever had before.

So much so that when she spotted the boys—accompanied by Brad Marchand—on the green a couple days later, she waved at them from where she was talking to another patron, and when she arrived back at the clubhouse Gary was waiting to chastise her for it.

“We talked about this, Lily,” he’d said, aggressively, well out of earshot of anybody else, whether staff or guest. “The rules don’t change just because you’re outside.”

As he was walking away, Lily mouthed to herself, the rules, trying to work out when he’d had time to re-write the employee handbook specifically to include talking to Mr Crosby.

Lily made her way to Ryan’s for dinner, a not uncommon occurrence when he was home for the summer, and before she’d even sat down at his outdoor table he was asking, “You’re not working this weekend, are you?”

“Nope,” she smiled, giddy at the thought. She truly loved her job but everybody loved a break more. “Three whole days off.”

Even if the break was small.

She watched Ryan expectantly as he fiddled with the barbeque, waiting for the reason he’d asked and instead being treated to the visual of him failing to connect the gas tank.

She waited until the tank was successfully hooked up and the flame was burning before she asked, “Is there a specific reason you’re asking about my weekend?”

His smile was broad, not much different to normal but Lily knew him well enough to see the devious glimmer in his eyes. He made her wait until the steaks were on the grill, her curiosity piqued so much that she was practically leaning across the table by the time he spoke.

“Come to Halifax with me.”

Lily paused, then asked, confused, “You’re going to spend the weekend in Halifax?”

“Technically at Sid’s place in Grand Lake or wherever—”

“You want me to spend the weekend in Sidney Crosby’s house?”

“Yeah. He said it was cool if I invited you.”

Lily sat back in her seat, staring up through the veranda roof at the clouds passing overhead, a deep, full-bodied sigh leaving her body as the idea ran riot through her brain. It wasn’t as exciting or carefree as Ryan clearly expected it to be—he hadn’t stopped smiling.

“I can’t stay in Sidney Crosby’s house.”

“Can you stop saying his full name like that?” Ryan asked, his smile shifting from delighted to slightly bemused. “You talk to him all the time.”

“Small talk!” Lily sat upright, her hands coming down onto the table with a thud. “I can’t stay in his house knowing that, when I was in high school, I was convinced he was going to find me one day and we’d get married.”

“This is your big chance, then,” Ryan said, no hint of joking or irony in his voice. Although, the amused smile was well and truly back on his face. “You’ll be right inside his house, and you can charm him with your Winnie the Pooh pyjamas.”

Lily rolled her eyes, kept her mouth shut, and waited until Ryan had served them up their food so that they could continue the conversation while he wasn’t distracted by trying not to let the food burn on the grill. It was a good thing, too, when she heard some muttered swearing and saw some hasty movements only seconds before he threw them onto a plate.

He presented the steaks to Lily with a flourish of his arms, proud of his accomplishment even if it was the same accomplishment he made multiple times a week.

“I was seventeen,” Lily said, continuing the conversation, “and still thinking that I was going to marry Sidney Crosby.”

“I remember. You and Eliza had the trip all planned out to spend time in Halifax while he was training.”

“And then I broke my leg. A real tragedy. I can’t believe I missed my chance,” Lily said, completely deadpan.

Ryan’s smile was wry, the joke about marrying Sidney Crosby long beaten to death with no sign of stopping even after Lily finally met him. It was an easy joke, really, and a good deflection from other conversations about her dating life—about Ryan’s—that often went untouched.

Lily tried very hard to keep her cool when Sid opened the door. Sure, she’d met him dozens of times before, had many conversations with him even, but never did she think she would be in his house much less preparing to stay for the weekend.

They followed Sid through his large house so that they could put their overnight bags down. So large was the house that Sid had at least two spare bedrooms for them to use. Sid left Lily alone after pointing out that the chest of drawers and closet were empty if she didn’t want to live out of her bag. Lily wasn’t worried about unpacking, so she sat on the edge of the bed and tried again to wrap her head around being in Sidney Crosby’s house.

“Lil?” Ryan asked, accompanied by a gentle knock on the door. “Can I come in?”

“Course,” she said, then added with a wry smile, “How the other half live.”

“Being the best in the world will get you this and more.”

Lily fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and laughing to herself with a shake of her head. She sighed, longingly, “Yeah, all this again in Pittsburgh. I can’t even imagine having this much.”

“Gotta do something with all that money.”

“I’d be madder if I didn’t know he was also a good person.”

“Still want to marry him?”

“No; I want to meet Kathy.”

Ryan stood off the bed, tugging on Lily’s skirt so she’d raise her head and see his outstretched hand.

“Come on. You can hold my hand so you don’t get lost in this mansion that’s smaller than Dogg’s.”

Lily took his hand easily, feeling the callouses of his fingers brushing against her skin, and slowed to let it go when they were on their feet because it would be weird to actually hold his hand as he gave her the tour of Sidney Crosby’s house even if she wouldn’t have actually minded one bit.

“When do you build an even bigger one on the other side of Nate’s?” she asked, looking out a window and seeing the house in question.

Ryan’s laugh was immediate, sharp, and self-effacing. “My next contract is going to be the biggest the league’s ever seen, just you wait.”

There was nothing Lily could do as they walked through the house other than forcibly keep her mouth shut so that she didn’t gape in awe at every little detail. There was almost nothing in the house that Lily hadn’t dreamt of for herself.

“I think Sid and I have the same taste in architecture,” she said as she eyed off the cornices.

“You should have taken your broken leg to Halifax that summer,” Ryan joked, running his hand across the balustrade as they approached the staircase. “This could’ve been yours.”

“I never needed anything quite as big as this,” she said quietly, unconsciously pausing at the top of the stairs to watch Ryan descend.

He stopped, halfway down the stairs, looking back at her confused that she hadn’t followed him down.

He tapped his fingers against the balustrade, slowly and distractedly saying, “It’s a bit over the top, yeah.”

The house felt much, much louder in the dead of the night. For as grand and luxurious as it was, the sound proofing left something to be desired because every step Lily took sounded like thunder rolling directly above her head.

She managed to get downstairs into the kitchen without causing enough ruckus to have somebody rush down and opened almost every cupboard before she found a glass.

Much like the rest of the house, the kitchen was filled with appliances and furnishings that Lily could only dream of. The tiles were straight out of the folders in the hope chest she’d kept on the top shelf of her closet since she was ten years old. Even the barstools were the stuff of dreams and comfier than any she’d ever sat on.

“You look comfy.”

Lily jumped high enough to bang her knee on the underside of the Island, and she cursed loudly both at the pain and at the sudden appearance of Sid.

As she was rubbing, and twitching to distract herself from the pain, she said, “I just needed some water.”

“Do you want some ice cream seeing as you’re here?”

“You eat ice cream at three in the morning?”

Sid shrugged, trying to pass off his smile as innocent but it bordered far more on devious, “I have a sweet tooth.”

Lily knew in embarrassing detail just how big Sid’s sweet tooth was—from the confectionary filled bag after the wire was removed from his jaw, to nearly choking on an apple pie—but she just nodded politely and tried to keep the rubbing of her leg subtle.

A bowl and spoon appeared in front of her, soon followed by a tub of mint choc chip ice cream and an ice pack that Sid didn’t mention which she put immediately on her knee.

“How long have you known Ryan?” he asked, quiet enough that the room was hardly disturbed.

“Since high school,” Lily said easily. “We were sat next to each other on the first day and I can’t get rid of him.”

“Hockey players are creatures of comfort,” Sid said knowingly. “I don’t think you’ll ever get rid of him if you haven’t yet.”

Lily stared down distractedly at her bowl, “He can stay.”

Sid laughed kindly, careful to keep it muffled.

It wasn’t until Lily passed the mirror in the hall that she realised she was wearing her Winnie the Pooh pyjamas.

For all the issues Gary had with Lily fraternising with anyone who had ever played an NHL game, he didn’t seem to mind the lack of work that went on just before lunch started at the clubhouse.

He sat by and listened, most likely just to gather intel on each employee, but they were smart enough to share just enough information in his presence to satiate his need to know everything whilst keeping all the juicy details from him.

That’s how Lily operated at least. She hoped the same could be said for her co-workers.

“A whole three days off,” said Nikki, with the same awe as everyone who worked a full-time week, “what did you do with yourself?”

“Normally, I’d try and do everything I don’t get a chance to do,” Lily answered, with the intention of expanding her laundry list of cleaning the bathroom, weeding the garden and… laundry. She looked discreetly at Gary as she said, “But I went to Halifax.”

His head tilted up. Lily suppressed a snort.

“It’s hardly a trip to the Amalfi Coast but I suppose it’ll do for a quick little getaway. Did you go by yourself? Or did you take Eliza?”

“No,” Lily averted her eyes, staring out over the greens, “I went with Ryan.”

The squeak Nikki emitted was so high pitch it made Lily twitch. Nikki was easily the best friend Lily had at work so she was well aware of Ryan and subsequently Gary’s entire problem. Everyone knew about Gary’s problem. He wasn’t subtle.

“With Ryan or just with Ryan?”

“Just with Ryan. We stayed at a friend’s house,” Lily said, the inflection not lost on Nikki who’s squeaking intensified. “It was the most insane thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“You should tell Gary,” Nikki muttered under her breath, leaning in close. “I want to see his head explode.”

Lily slapped her hand over her own mouth to stifle the scream that was seconds away from escaping.

In the years since Ryan started playing with Nathan and worked his way into the Inner Circle, Lily had been watching from the outside. The invitation to dinner with Sid, Nate and their partners was brand new. She feared she’d be uninvited if she asked questions—that they’d realise that it was a mistake—so when Sid extended the offer when she spotted them on hole 7, Lily thanked him and agreed with only a brief look Ryan’s way.

Ryan picked her up that evening—which was an early start because Lily had to be at the course with the sunrise. She didn’t hear his car pull into her driveway because she was standing in her bedroom, spraying perfume into the air and walking through it, but she’d had her phone by her side for twenty minutes expecting him to call when he arrived. The doorbell ringing startled her.

She rushed to grab her bag and a cardigan and threw the door open and, because she expected Ryan to have retreated back to his car, she came to a skidding stop when his body was blocking her path.

“These heels might make me taller, but they do not make me stronger,” she grumbled, using her hands on his waist to push him back enough so that she could lock the door.

“You look nice.”

“I didn’t know what to wear. I didn’t want to look ridiculous compared to Kathy and Charlotte, but I think I went too far the other way and got too dressed up.”

“Lily, look at me,” Ryan ordered. Lily did so petulantly. “You look beautiful. Kathy and Charlotte have nothing on you.”

Behind Lily’s grumpy expression, she diligently fought back a pleased smile and tried not to preen as she left him on the porch to get to his car. As much as she wanted to impress Kathy and Charlotte, impressing Ryan was enough to deem the night not a complete disaster.

It took Ryan a minute to follow her to the car—he only started moving when Lily tapped on the door to get his attention—and he wasn’t very talkative on the short drive. Though neither was Lily, to be fair. They were nearly at the restaurant when Ryan’s hand moved from where it had been on the gearshift and covered hers where it was resting in her lap.

Lily said nothing, nor did she pull away.

She didn’t want to let go when the car stopped but didn’t want to be weird, so she squeezed it once lightly before they got out of the car.

They were the first to arrive and the weather was perfect, the wind had even calmed down for the evening, so they opted to wait outside rather than head into the restaurant. It was different than any other time they’d been out to dinner and Lily wasn’t sure if it was the way he’d complimented her or if it was the handholding or if it was fourteen years of potential finally catching up with them.

He was standing close, if it had been a real first date it would have been uncomfortably close, but Lily was happy to stand there, her head tilted up slightly as they talked in quiet voices.

“This feels—” like a date is how she would have finished if Nate hadn’t arrived at exactly that moment and made Ryan take a casual step back.

Lily at least felt more comfortable with what she was wearing, seeing that she was similarly dressed to Charlotte, and she squashed any weirdness from her and Ryan so that she could hold a conversation.

Lily had barely set foot in the clubhouse when Gary called her name and pointed back towards his office. There was nobody else around to offer any sort of explanation, Gary wasn’t even supposed to be there yet, so she had to follow him cluelessly.

It made her feel sick to her stomach.

He held his office door open for her and gestured for her to sit in the chair opposite his desk—a formality she had never experienced from him before. Her stomach was in her throat as she waited for whatever he was about to accuse her of.

When he was finally sitting in his own chair, having remained stoically and infuriatingly silent until that moment, he asked “Did you have a nice meal last night?”

“Um, yes?” Lily responded, her head tilting.

“I would have thought Sims was a bit out of your budget.”

“I can afford to go every now and then,” Lily said, the tension in her chest becoming so constricting she didn’t know if she could breathe. “What does that have to do with this meeting?”

“I don’t know where you learnt manners, but you cannot sit down at the table of our visitors,” Gary said. Lily felt her eyes get even wider and her entire body lift out of her seat with every word he spoke. “It is one thing for you to impose yourself on them whilst they’re on the club’s grounds but to join them while they’re eating elsewhere... I really thought you were smarter than that.”

“They’re my friends!” she argued instantly, unable and unwilling to control the level of her voice. She was standing by then, close to leaning over the desk and shouting in his face.

Gary’s laugh was vicious, colder and crueller than any Lily had ever heard. His words even colder: “Just because you’re so set on getting into their pants that you can’t leave them alone does not mean they’re your friends. Your behaviour is unacceptable, and you’ve used up all your warnings. Your services are no longer required.”

“You’re firing me?”

“I suggest you learn some manners before you find another job and realise that none of those men will fuck you.”

Lily was halfway out the door, ready to slam it shut behind her, when she turned around just to say, “You’re the vilest human being I have ever met.” She then slammed the door causing every painting and decoration in the area to rattle.

She stopped for nothing on her way out of the building, not even her co-workers who had shown up while she was being fired and not even Nikki who was walking in the door as Lily was leaving the building.

The last thing Lily had expected, not that she’d expected anything at all, was to see Ryan walking towards her as she reached the parking lot. Uncertain of what she would say or do if she spoke to him, she walked straight past him with her jaw set and her eyes focused on her car.

“Lily—what—Lily, where are you going?”

“Home.”

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

“I was fired, so I’m going home.”

Ryan’s hands grabbed her upper arms, spinning her back around. He asked, horrified, “Fired? What do you mean fired?”

“I mean I don’t have a job anymore. That asshole in there thinks I’m being a puck bunny and he saw us all having dinner last night and apparently that’s a fireable offence.”

“I’ll fix it,” Ryan said firmly, raising his head to look at the clubhouse.

“Don’t,” Lily said, just as firmly, stepping out of Ryan’s hands. “I don’t want to work for him anyway.”

“I’ll fix it,” Ryan repeated. “I’ll meet you at your place with lunch.”

Lily walked off, not seeing any point or worth in arguing against it. All she wanted to do was go home and be standing under a hot shower by the time she started to cry.

The shower didn’t do much to make her feel better and, in fact, the multiple missed calls from Ryan and the Golf Club’s Superintendent would have ruined any progress that had been made anyway.

She opted to call Dennis first, on the grounds that the sooner she spoke to him, the sooner she could have nothing more to do with any of the golf clubs on Prince Edward Island. So, in her towel, sitting on the edge of her bed, Lily clicked on one of Dennis Leary’s missed calls and put it on speaker phone as he was answering.

“Thank you for calling me back, Lily.”

“What do you want, Dennis?” Lily said coolly, she never would have spoken to Dennis in such a manner before but she was tired and uninterested in having any conversation about being fired. “I don’t work for you anymore.”

“Lily,” Dennis said solemnly. “I cannot apologise enough for Gary’s behaviour. He should not have treated you the way he did, and he had no right or authority to fire you. Especially not for speaking to your friends.”

“Who told you?” she asked, knowing that there was no way that Gary would have phrased it that way. He would have phrased it as stalking clients, as being inappropriate in and out of work.

“It was an anonymous tip.”

“Which one of them spoke to you? I know it was one of them.”

“Mr Crosby was very adamant that they would not be visiting any golf clubs on the Island if Gary’s actions were left unpunished.”

Lily let silence fill the air, every emotion in her body quickly morphed into rage. She tried to take a few, deep, steadying breaths but there was no calming down.

“So, this call is only happening because you don’t want to lose the boys?”

“I knew what I was going to do the second Mr Crosby told me that Gary had fired you. I would have made this call even if no threats had been made.”

Lily scoffed, “What exactly is this call?”

“You still very much have a job here if you want it and we should discuss a promotion to the newly vacant assistant superintendent position.”

Lily slumped; all her strings cut at once. It was what she’d wanted to hear for so long and yet it was the worst scenario she could ever have imagined—worse even—that caused it to happen. She took a deep breath and rushed to tell Dennis she would have to think about it before ending the call without waiting for a response.

Her next step was to send a text to Ryan saying if you want to come over, come now.

He did, too, arriving mere minutes after she got dressed. Unlucky for him, her anger had simmered over Dennis but it had increased tenfold even in the short time she’d had to think about it all again.

Ryan let himself in and Lily was ready for it, not even letting him greet her or take his shoes off before she was crossing her arms over her chest.

“You went to Sid.”

Ryan said, somewhat proudly, clearly not having gaged Lily’s hostility, “He didn’t take much convincing.”

“It should have been you.”

“I was going to right after I filled them in but Sid pulled rank.”

Lily’s arms fell to her side, a new thought crossing her mind and the sick feeling returning. The thought took over her mind and, even though she didn’t really want to say it, she couldn’t help it.

“Gary’s going to think I’m fucking Sidney Crosby. He’ll probably tell Kathy.”

Ryan laughed, and it caught them both off guard. Ryan was mostly just shocked at how sudden it had been whereas Lily was irate that he thought it was a laughable idea. She rolled her eyes, shook her head.

Ryan, to his credit, caught on at that moment, and asked softly, “Are you mad?”

“At who?” she asked, sarcasm dripping from her lips.

“Anyone?”

“Gary. Dennis a little for not even realising until Sid spoke to him. Sid for threatening to never golf here again instead of just saying what happened. You—” Lily stopped herself from saying anything further, not that the damage wasn’t already done.

“Me?”

She sighed, and though once upon a time the words would have been pulled from her mouth against her will, she was tired enough to say, “For not standing up for me yourself.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“I guess when you said you were going to fix it, I thought that it would be the grand romantic gesture that finally proved you loved me and that I’m not just sitting here like a fool waiting for something that’ll never happen.”

“Jesus, Lily,” Ryan said, laughing again though it sounded much less humourful than any she’d heard from him in recent memory. “You’re going to have to give me a few days to think of something else.”

“What?”

“I can’t just pull a grand romantic gesture out of my ass—”

“I don’t need the romantic gesture, Ry. I just… I just need you.”

Ryan took one cautious step forward and then another when Lily didn’t protest. As he was taking the next one, Lily took one, too.

His hands on her cheeks felt impossibly big, but it was a comforting feeling and made it all easier to push up on her toes and kiss him.

A kiss fourteen years in the making and it was soft, slow without any of the urgency Lily had imagined.

It was so much better.

Lily had secured some time off before returning to work—two weeks—so she was using the time to spend time with the likes of Sidney Crosby and Nathan MacKinnon at bars, at night.

Ryan’s presence was by far the best part of the equation.

They’d fallen into an easy relationship, even if nothing much had changed beyond their new found willingness to be affectionate in public.

Nate argued that not even that had really changed, though.

They were cuddled up in the corner of a bar seat, Lily tucked comfortably into Ryan’s side, when Lily noticed something across the room. Someone.

She told Ryan to look in that direction under the guise of confirming her suspicions but she knew without a doubt that it was Gary.

“Do you want that big romantic gesture now?” Ryan whispered into her ear.

“No big romantic gestures that result in the police being called. I already know what I want to do.”

Lily waited patiently for a server to pass by, getting their attention after a round had been ordered.

“Can you please take a rum and coke to that man over there in the red coat?” she asked. ”He looks like he needs it.”

Please consider leaving feedback - reblog and write in the tags or send an ask, I’m not fussed. I just want to know what you’re thinking!

[nylwnder]

mine, yours | matthew tkachuk

gif by 9116

a/n: this is my entry to @antoineroussel ’s summer fic exchange 2k22!! this piece is for @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 who was my lovely match!! i hope you like it nat, tried my best to make this as angsty as i could (still new to the trope), i hope you enjoy <33333 also to everyone else, this is my first non-leaf player fic so i hope you can enjoy it as well!

warnings: SMUT, fem!oc, my take on trying to make this angsty, right person/wrong time, exes to lovers, soft!matthew, mutual pinning

word count: 2.3k

“maybe we need time to figure ourselves out first?” venus said, bouncing her leg and looking at the ground. “i just know that i wanted to make sure i had everything in line so i could focus on you, focus on us.”

matthew nodded, resting his head on her shoulder. “you’re right. i need to get used to this whole nhl world, and you deserve the time of finishing school and finding your perfect internship.” she smiled at him, appreciating his understanding of her proposal.

“promise me that you won’t forget me, yeah? if life really changes when we go our own ways, and maybe you meet new people… just know that i loved you so much. and i’ll support whatever it is that you choose to do.” venus nodded as matthew spoke, her eyes getting blurred with the many tears that began to build up.

venus knew it was going to be hard to let him go. not have him even in those few minutes of free time the two of them had. though all the while she knew it was best, that a better relationship would come with time. she wanted matthew, and she hoped that even with any circumstances that would arise, she was going to do everything to have him by her side one day or another.

“i’ll say the same thing to you” she says, letting out a small laugh. he looks at her with melancholic eyes, “oh baby, i won’t forget your sweet sweet face”

—

they were phantom fingertips. ones that knew all the places, all the ways to make one crumble under their touch. they were ones that venus knew all too well, ones she pictured for all those years. the ones she ached for day by day. his soft lips, warm breath by her ear. “mine, all mine.”

she woke up, hearing that the plane would land in a few minutes. she sighed, relishing in the series of dreams she had throughout her nights. the ones she hadn’t stopped seeing since she was that 19 year old girl thinking if she made a mistake by letting him go. if maybe she needed him more than anything. if he was the only way she could function.

she’d be closer to him than ever today. closer to her fantasies when she stepped onto the ground that is calgary. she didn’t know if she should be excited or nervous. he could be far from the man she last saw. a girl already standing beside him. laughing in his ear with his arms wrapped around her tightly. she knew that they could always have started to make their own lives between the time apart.

though her thoughts were halted as the taxi dropped venus off at her parents house. a black g-wagon was parked on the driveway behind venus’ father’s car. she knew the meaning of the car to a particular someone but her mind flew past the fact that it was parked in her driveway. as she walked into her childhood home, she heard voices mingling further in.

“i’m here mom, dad!!” venus announced as she made her way to the kitchen. “my darling, you’re home!!” her mom greeted her with open arms. she smiled as her mother took in her presence. “your father is in the living room, why don’t you say hello” she says, venus nodded and made her way over. though her father swooped the girl into a hug before she’d even made it through the hall. “hello sweetie, so great to have you home now!” he says, “i’m so happy to be back! i’ve missed you both”

“why don’t you greet our guest in the living room” her father says. it wasn’t until he parted away that venus’ chocolate eyes widened at the sight of some untamed brown curls that belonged to the boy of her dreams. her heart began to race, she hadn’t seen his soft face for four years.

matthew’s eyes lit up at the sight of venus. her dark brown hair curled around her face beautifully. they both couldn’t help but smile. as he was about to greet her, before he could speak, venus couldn’t think of anything else to do but lunge in his arms. his warmth, scent, build and husky voice in her ears is what she daydreamed for years. for all one could say, it was her determination to complete her goals so she could come home to him. the one thing she was still missing.

“hi” she says, “hello love” he says, his blue eyes taking in the only person he’s had in his mind. though day after day he was still filled with doubt on whether or not she'd take any interest in him once she came home. if she’d found that perfect person for herself while matthew was away.

“matthew here was just visiting us as he usually does,” venus’ mother said, as she looked at the two of them. venus looked at matty, curious if he really made daily visits to her parents home. “but he has practice to head to, right matthew?”

“yes mrs. burkley.” he said, though he kept his eyes fixed on the girl who kept her hands tugging at his sweater. “i gotta go” he said quietly, venus nodded though didn’t make a move to back away from him. “will you still be joining us for dinner tonight?” mrs. burkley asked matty as he finally forced himself to move away from venus even though his whole body ached to hold her till he couldn’t no more. “of course,” he says, venus’ eyes bright at the proposal. “wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

—

around dinner time, matthew didn’t take long before arriving. he wore a dress shirt and some dress pants while venus decided to wear a summery-ish dress that flowed around with her every step. conversation consisted mostly of how perfectly venus’ internship - for a renowned advertising organization - was in new york. matty also shared his highlights of his career of being a professional hockey player for the flames.

though the both couldn't help but hint that everything was perfect except for a part of themselves. the part that knew not having each other made for everything not being enough to bring themselves to true satisfaction. that it wasn’t until they could lie together, legs tangled, bodies as close as humanly possible, and sharing all the sweet nothings that they longed to hear from one another. it isn’t until then, that their hearts would shine as purely, beat as naturally, as they should.

—

a few days had passed since venus’ initial arrival back home. matthew had asked her if she wished to go see one of his games. obviously saying yes maybe a bit too quick than she should’ve, matty sent her the tickets with a slight chuckle escaping his lips. she sat and watched that evening, seeing him skate as swiftly as he always did. before their time apart, she had only watched some of his rookie games when her uni schedule allowed her. though when she was away she’d taken a few nights to watch some of his games, but she had really forgotten how amazing the feeling of being in the arena with all the fans felt.

the game ended, as matthew and the flames won. she waited for him by the lockers, his teammates, old and new, greeted her with kind smiles. “glad you’ll keep him company now. he hasn’t stopped talking about you, it makes us sick.” one of them said to venus, she turned to the man before he walked away.

“wait, do you mean he doesn't have a girlfriend? like at all?” venus asked. even if early this morning she was looking back at all the signs of any possible care matty still has for her, her doubt couldn’t help but stick in her head and distort her thoughts. she wanted nothing more than to find out the truth, “i haven’t seen him even look in a girls direction.” he laughed a bit in which she smiled back.

“venus! how’d you like the game?” matty asked as he jogged to her. she smiled, “so fucking cool!! forgot how much i missed seeing a live game.” he grinned before taking her to his car in the large parking garage. “i have something planned out at my place, if you wanna come over?” matthew asked, fiddling on the steering wheel as they headed out to the nighttime streets of downtown calgary. “sure, i’d love that”

the ride wasn’t too long to matty’s place. venus took her time admiring the feel of exploring the semi empty streets of this beautiful city. the way she used to skip through the puddles of the spring rain and laugh with matthew by her side. snacking on something so mediocre that the two of them just couldn’t help it. matty could see her smile as she drifted through her thoughts, it couldn't help but make him all warm inside. but he thought about who it was that she was dreaming of? if it was the man who’s waiting for her back in new york?

they made their way inside matty’s place, where candles and a pre-prepared meal sat waiting for them. her heart fluttered at the scene in front of her, matthew taking off his suit jacket and venus’ sweater while she stood looking at every itty bitty detail. she spinned around to him as he threw them aside. her eyes skipped from matthew’s eyes to his lips and it took all her confidence to make their lips meet.

after kiss and kiss and kiss, matty didn’t think much before he scooped venus up and made their way to his room. he placed her gently on the bed, her fingers tied in his curls. he chased for her lips as she fell back on the comfy mattress, his hands holding her sides.

“w-wait, venus” matthew spoke, breaking the blissful link of their lips. venus gave a soft whine but she looked into his sad eyes and composed herself from matthew’s toe-curling kisses. “yeah?” she asked, he looked down from her now worried face. she became concerned if she did something wrong, if there really was anything holding them back from being with each other.

“nick. your mother said you’re dating a man named nick back in new york. are you really?” he asked quietly. venus snickered, “my mother never pays attention, does she?” matthew furrowed his brows. “nick? yeah just a guy from my internship who asked me out on one date. just one.”

“you don’t want to go out on more?” matthew asked, pushing a possibility that venus never paid mind to. “matty, i couldn’t feel a single thing for any of them. for anyone who tried to spark a conversation.” matty nodded, surely knowing the feeling, “and- a part of me never wanted to. i kept having this fantasy that when i’d come home, i’d finally get what i always wanted. a particular person who so happened to make it to my parents house before me.”

he smiled, his hands softly beginning to rub her sides. “nick by the way…. well you remember that guy that tried to speak to taryn at any time he could, and brady was like millimetres away from beating him up?” venus said smiling and playing with the collar of mattys dress shirt. “yeah, at the st. patty’s party” she nodded, “yeah well,” she bounced her brows and giggled. “he looks like that? no way” he said, giggling with her. “the resemblance is uncanny. but yeah, my mother is always exaggerating everything, you should know that by now.”

matty nodded, “please she made it seem like a 2 year relationship. but a part of me really did believe it. that you really did move on from what, a childhood crush-” her hands made their way to cup matthews face, “matty i made you a promise, i wasn’t going anywhere.” venus could feel all the uncertainty and hesitation fall from his shoulders. “and i told you i was never going to forget your sweet sweet face”

she smiled, tugging at him to kiss her already. when the two of them broke the kiss for air, a smile crept up at the corners of venus’ lips. “the question is, whether we eat or well, continue in here. what do you think?” matty smirked, laying a teasing kiss on her lips, “i think we’ll work up an appetite later, no?” matty says, pulling a giggling venus up so she could straddle his lap.

“i missed you” venus spoke, letting her arms hook around the back of matty’s neck. “i missed you more, trust me”

shirts ripped off, pants unbuttoned, underwear slipped down. it took no effort to feel like the love filled kids who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. who couldn’t mask the groans or whines from slipping past their kiss swollen lips. or couldn’t help getting their fingers tangled in each other’s hair, searching for anything to ground them from their euphoric state.

nails scratching against matthew's back, marks taking shape on each other’s neck, a trail of wet kisses leading to venus’ throbbing cunt. she could have sworn that she needed to pinch herself to see if she really was feeling his tongue this time. but now that she tugs at his curls, a tight grip of his hands keeping her thighs from squeezing around his head, she didn’t feel anything but ablaze.

there was such a hunger of having matty fill the void inside of venus. matthew couldn’t count the amount of times he would do anything to feel her wet pussy flutter around his length again. to have her leg hooked up and over his shoulder, just to hear her gasp when he pushed in for what seemed impossibly deeper.

matthew’s warm breath moved from hovering over venus’ neck to her ear. her mouth nipping at his shoulder while his hips harshly bucked into hers. “mine, all mine” he whispered, kissing her jaw.

“all yours” venus whined out, pulling him in for a kiss.

[ join my taglist if you enjoyed reading! : click here <3 ]

[hockeylvr59]

Skate To Your Heart || Jeff Skinner

Authors Note: This is my entry for @antoineroussel​‘s summer fic exchange. I wrote for @callsign-denmark​ who requests included fluff and strangers to lovers. This is basically a five times you “skated” with Jeff Skinner concept. I hope you enjoy it. (*Also a slight word play in the title with ‘skate’ instead of ‘straight’ to your heart*)

Warnings: minor injury  // Word Count: 2,535

~~~~

There were few things in life you loved more than this. The smell of ice in the air, the sound and feeling of sharp blades cutting through a fresh sheet, the sharp sting of cold air across your cheeks and on your fingertips, the exhilaration of launching yourself into the air before landing back down. Ever since you were little, this was where and when you felt the most at home. No matter what else was happening in your life, this was where you were at peace. 

And that was why you had refused to compete. 

You were good. You had been told that you could be one of the best in the world all your life if you just dedicated yourself to training. But that wasn’t what you had wanted. You didn’t want the pressure, you didn’t want to travel, and you didn’t want to lose what you loved so much about skating.

And so you kept your talents to yourself and skated for yourself. And there was nothing better than spending a hot late summer day in the chill of a rink doing what you loved most. Throwing yourself into one of your favorite routines, you had no idea that there was a pair of eyes watching you from near the benches. That was…until your blade caught weird in the ice upon landing a triple axel and you went tumbling down, a curse spilling from your lips and pain radiating up your ankle. 

Before you could try and pull yourself back onto your blades, a pair of sneakered feet entered your field of vision. Trying to catch your breath from having the wind knocked out of you, you looked up to see a handsome dimpled face looking at you with concern. 

“Are you okay?” A gentle but masculine voice asked as the man attached to it squatted down to check on you. Sitting up on the ice, it took a minute to find your voice before you could finally respond. 

“Yeah. I’ll be alright.” You finally murmured. “Not the worst tumble I’ve taken.” 

“You’re really good.” He commented while offering a steady hand to help you to your feet. Hesitating for a moment you took it before wincing as you put pressure on your left ankle. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, seeing the grimace on your face. 

“Thanks.” You whispered shyly in response to the compliment. “Yeah, nothing ice and rest won’t fix.” 

“This might sound crazy but I feel like I should know you.” The man whispered softly as he guided you on one skate back to the bench area and off the ice. 

“Yeah that sounds just a little bit crazy.” You murmured, your sarcasm rising to new heights because of the throbbing in your ankle. A bashful smile flickered across his face and he shrugged not taking offense from your words. “Do you compete?” He inquired, his hands dropping into the pockets of his joggers as you sat on the bench to take your skates off. “Because you really are that good.” 

“Nope.” You mumbled before hissing softly as you dropped your skate to the ground, your ankle slightly red already and likely to swell later. You’d had ankle sprains before that had been far worse than this so you weren’t too worried even if you knew that you were about to be catching up on some movies over the next few days and not moving around too much. 

Sliding off your other skate, you worked to change into sandals before reaching into your bag for a bottle of water and two pain killers. 

“Well…thanks for the help off the ice.” You declared, moving to stand up, most of your weight on your good ankle. “But I should probably get home and take care of this.” 

As you turned to leave, hefting your bag onto your shoulder you heard him call out for you to wait. 

Pausing, you looked back and saw him shifting to lean closer, his hand held out in greeting. 

“I’m Jeff.” He introduced himself. Returning the introduction, you again shifted slightly to leave. 

“Maybe I’ll see you around.” He called and you knew instantly that if that was in fact true then you were about to be in a lot of trouble. 

*****

You had in fact seen Jeff around. You ran into him almost every time you went to the rink once your ankle had healed and you’d even run into him once at the park when you were babysitting your nephew and playing in the first snowfall.

And that was how you found out that Jeff was Jeff Skinner, winger for the Buffalo Sabres. Your nephew hadn’t been able to contain his excitement and had tugged on your winter jacket drawing your attention to Jeff who had been waving at you as he jogged by. Seeing that you were finally looking his way, Jeff stopped and jogged over to you, pulling his headphones from his ears. 

After chatting with your nephew for a few minutes he looked up at you, eyes all soft. 

“What do you think?” He’d asked. 

“Huh?” You’d replied, having not been fully paying attention to their conversation. 

“A suggestion was made that I take you on a date sometime. What do you think?” He repeated, clarifying the line of conversation as his warm breath swirled around you fogging up the air slightly. 

You’d agreed and that was how you were here. Here being a small private outdoor rink with string lights overhead. With light snow coming down it was almost magical. Jeff had insisted on helping you lace up your skates and once you were both ready to go he helped you to your feet before leading you to the rink. 

A contented sigh spilled from your lips as your blades cut through the ice and you smiled up at him glad that he had chosen something you both loved to do for your first date. 

For the next hour you lazily skated around the rink, shock crossing your face when you learned that Jeff too had started out figure skating. Demanding that he prove it, at least as best he could in hockey skates, you moved to prop yourself up on the small half boards. And prove it he did. While it was clear that the skates didn’t lend themselves to that kind of movement and that he was a bit rusty, you could definitely see the foundations of figure skating in the way he moved across the ice. 

Watching him, you found yourself growing extremely fond of him and when he approached, sliding into you smoothly, you allowed his body to slide between your parted knees. 

“What do you say we get some hot chocolate before I take you home?” Jeff murmured, causing you to smile in response. 

“Sounds perfect.” You agreed, reaching out to keep him there as he attempted to skate backward far enough to pull you down from the boards. “First though…” You murmured before leaning forward just a little when he looked back at you to cup his cheek before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He hesitated a moment out of surprise before responding, his mouth slotting against yours in a gentle but firm exploratory kiss. 

Yeah, this was definitely up there as far as first dates go. 

*****

It had been about three months since your first date with Jeff and so far things had been going really well. Of course it was hard dating someone who traveled for a living but those hardships were definitely worth it. 

You’d met a few of his teammates just by chance but Jeff had yet to introduce you to the team and their significant others as a whole or his family, the two of you taking things relatively slow to start out.

But now you were on your way to Hamilton, Ontario for the Sabres outdoor game. Specifically, you were headed up for the family skate the day before the game itself. Though you’d told yourself that everything was going to be fine, you couldn’t help but be nervous knowing that you were going to meet not only the team but also Jeff’s family. 

Finding and parking in the lot you had a pass for, you made your way to the stadium with just a small bag containing your skates over your shoulder. After showing your credentials, you were directed on how to get down to the ice and you made your way there, pausing to take it all in. There was already a significant amount of people on the ice, laughter filling the air. 

Quickly you pulled on your skates before stepping onto the ice. A breeze whipped through but you were dressed warmly even if you weren’t nearly as bundled up as some people were. Carefully skating around, you looked for Jeff, but instead of finding him, he found you. 

“You made it!” He exclaimed, quickly pulling your body into his and kissing you softly in front of all these people. A few whistles and a ‘get it Jeff’ sounded from around you but otherwise no one really seemed to notice. 

Though you were nervous, you let Jeff lead you around, both of you skating with ease, as he introduced you to some of his teammates and then finally his siblings who had made the trip. You couldn’t help but let out a bit of a relieved laugh as his sisters pulled you into hugs murmuring that Jeff had told them so much about you and you smiled watching his nephew toddling around still a little shaky on his skates. 

When one of his sisters needed to use the bathroom, you took Jeff’s baby niece into your arms and smiled at her chubby face while skating lazy circles. After a moment you could hear someone whispering to Jeff but you just ignored it, turning after a few minutes to see a soft look on Jeff’s face. 

“A baby looks good on you.” He mumbled once you had handed her off and he had pulled you back against his body. 

“Hmm, is that right?” You teased just enjoying how welcomed you felt despite your initial worries. You shouldn’t have worried though because being on the ice with Jeff had always extended that feeling that this was where you were supposed to be. 

*****

Though you knew you probably shouldn’t be, you couldn’t help but be a little annoyed with Jeff. This was date night and he knew that and yet you’d gotten the text from him twenty minutes ago that he had gotten caught up in a practice session and asking if you could meet him at the rink to head to dinner from there. 

Walking into the rink you let the cold air swirl around your legs under your knee length dress and you made your way around looking for where Jeff could possibly be located now. Running into him in the hallway with the locker rooms you sighed seeing him still in skates and workout clothes, not the nicer clothes you were expecting he would wear to dinner. 

“I’m so sorry, we ran late. I know you’re probably pissed but can you do me a huge favor and clean up the pucks on the ice while I change?” He requested, bending slightly to peck your lips. 

Glaring at him for a moment, you let your shoulders slump and sighed, turning to head to the ice and telling him that he better hurry his ass up. You loved him, lord did you love him but sometimes he was just too much. Gathering a bag to collect the pucks from the bench, you opened the gate and stepped onto the ice, not used to being out here in street shoes. 

It took you a minute to find your footing but once you did you headed over to the black spots near center ice. Taking only a few steps, you blinked quickly before letting the bag fall out of your hands. You had expected to find just a random collection of pucks sprawled across the ice. What was before you however was something very different. 

‘MARRY ME?’

Hockey pucks spelled out the words and when you turned, Jeff was there in slacks and a dress shirt, bending down onto one knee. His cheeks were slightly flushed and as he spoke your name softly you watched him reach for the puck serving as the dot on the question mark, picking it up and sliding a rotating lid open to reveal your dream engagement ring. 

“Will you?” His soft voice questioned. “This past year of knowing you…I can’t imagine ever spending another year without you by my side. You are my best friend, you are my rock, and you are my favorite skating partner. All I want in life is to skate forever with you by my side. So will you make me the happiest man and be my wife?” 

Though you didn’t realize it at first, you must have been nodding your head because Jeff’s smile grew brilliant and he reached up with a shaky hand to slide the ring onto your left hand before standing up and pulling you against his chest. 

You may be late for your dinner reservation but at the moment you couldn’t honestly care less. 

*****

Scritch, scritch, thump.

You paused waiting for a cry that never came. Instead your brown eyed, curly haired little boy grunted softly as he attempted to push himself back onto his tiny skate covered feet. Jeff stood behind him, there to help if necessary though you both knew your two year old was likely going to be too stubborn to accept it. 

Scritch, scritch, scritch, thump. 

That there had been one more unsteady step this time made you smile and you skated backward just a bit before encouraging your little one to get up and try again. You weren’t sure who had been waiting for this day longer, you or Jeff. 

After a year long engagement and three years of marriage you had finally gotten pregnant with your little boy and you knew that you had both dreamed of the day he would get onto skates for the first time all by himself. 

He’d been on the ice plenty, the two of you often taking him for skates when he was merely an infant all the way through the early toddler years. 

But this morning, your baby boy had woken up and proclaimed that he wanted to skate by himself. 

Scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, thump. 

Scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, thump. 

Slowly but surely he was getting it and when he finally reached your arms you cheered loudly as his squeal echoed through the rink. 

Looking over at Jeff, the pride you were certain was on your own face was on his as well. Growing up, skating had always been an emotional journey for you. But you’d never imagined the journey it would take you on as an adult. It had brought the love of your life to you and now, now you would get to experience the journey it brought to your son. 

This truly was peace. And you wouldn’t change a single thing. 

[senditcolton]

The Movie of Us

The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it. 

summary: you broke up with Josh three years ago but he’s still haunting you. what do you do when the ghost from your past comes back?  

EPIGRAPH | PROLOGUE | FIC | EPILOGUE | PLAYLIST

written for @antoineroussel‘s summer fic exchange 2k22 to shelb (@joshuaanderson​​) with love. 

[thomasschabot]

broken hearts and dirty windows make life difficult to see

sebastian aho x fem!reader

two times you felt sebastian cracking your heart and one time he shattered it

word count:  2.2k

warnings: cursing, crumbling relationships, major dickweed vibes from mr. aho

a/n: hello hello! this a little gift for @sebbyaho as part of @antoineroussel​’s  summer fic exchange. i hope you enjoy <3 super huge props to demi for organizing yet another amazing event!!!! also everyone go thank @joshuaanderson​ because she’s the one who told me to get my ass in gear and write a 3+1 but i can’t commit to anything so this is what we ended up with

⭑⭒⭑

The lack of public displays of affection in your relationship doesn’t bother you. 

Private, not secret is the motto Sebastian lives by, given the nature of his rising superstardom, and you’ve always been one to keep to yourself. Over the years there have been tastefully curated instagram posts from each of you with heads cropped out or faces covered, but to those close it’s clear the two of you are a couple. You know Sebastian loves you, he knows you love him — that’s enough. 

Raleigh, and North Carolina in general, might be becoming more hockey-centric, but the players and their families can still wander in peace. It’s part of the reason Sebastian has never tried to move. Pundits and reporters are correct in saying he could get a larger paycheque somewhere else, but it’s the anonymity and freedom to exist that keeps him, and you, here. There have been discussions about moving closer to your family, seeing as you both spend the off-season in Finland with his, but it’s never amounted to anything more than pillow talk fantasies. You’re happy in Raleigh and the Hurricanes have become a family away from home. 

Anyone associated with the team, even on a part-time basis knows about Sebastian’s relationship. It’s important for both of you to share some parts of yourselves with others, and the easiest way to do that is by going to dinners or barbecues with teammates. He doesn’t have many friends outside the organization, and by nature of being far away from home neither do you. It isn’t inherently lonely, but a lot of your time is spent at work, with Sebastian, or the three former co-workers who are still in contact with you. 

“Sepe,” you grumble, having grown increasingly tired of following him around the shopping mall. “Can’t you buy shoes without me?”

A pensive yet teasing look flashes across his features. “I suppose so, but there’s no fun in that.”

The comment earns him a light kick to the shin, which is swiftly followed up by Sebastian ruffling your hair. You manage to pry him away from the sneaker store with promises of something more worthwhile at home, and as you exit the store you feel Sebastian’s pinky link with yours. It’s something small he started doing years ago to let you know he was still around in crowded places, and you cherish the meaning it holds. 

From around the corner there’s laughter, which doesn’t bother either of you, and you continue to wander towards the mall’s exit. “Aho, you beauty, is that you?” a boy, no more than nineteen, calls out from the group, approaching Sebastian with open arms. Instantly Sebastian’s hand is dropped from yours and he’s a good arms length away from you. 

“Hey man, how’s it going? How’s camp?” your boyfriend asks with ease, slipping into an easy conversation about hockey while going around the circle and greeting everyone. It doesn’t take you long to concur that the boys are newcomers, part of this year’s draft class in Raleigh for development camp, and that they took a liking to Sebastian when he helped lead a couple of off ice seminars about how to adjust to living alone in a new city. 

You hang back, letting the guys do their thing, not particularly interested in whatever drill they’re talking about. Sebastian has interests that differ from your own, including hockey, and it’s nice to give him space to engage in it with other fans. The digital edition of The New Yorker was released early in the morning, and you scroll through your phone reading articles of interest. Eventually someone clears their throat, signalling your presence has been noted. 

“And you are?”

Before you can speak and introduce yourself, Sebastian does it for you. “She’s just a friend of mine,” he shrugs casually, completely forgetting to mention that the two of you have been dating for nearly four years, “And we’ve actually got to get going. See you around.”

With the parting words uttered and handshakes administered yet again, the group splits in the opposite direction you and Sebastian are going. The white hot sting of rejection burns in your stomach, creeps up your esophagus, and threatens to spill out. Tears also begin to well in your eyes but you blink them away. Why didn’t he just just introduce you as his girlfriend? There has never been any hesitation from him in the past. 

Suddenly walking beside him is too much, and you need a few degrees of separation from the man you love. “I  just forgot I need to stop by the office quickly,” you blurt out. “Nina left some documents for me to sign since I won’t be there on Monday when the deal goes through.”

“Want me to come with you?” Sebastian asks, back to playing the doting boyfriend like nothing happened. You suppose to him maybe nothing had. 

“It’s okay, I’ll only be a few extra minutes. Besides, you have so many bags. I’ll meet you at home.”

You allow him to place a kiss to your cheek in farewell, and head in the opposite direction. Once you’re sure Sebastian is out of the building, or at least out of sight, you make a beeline for the nearest washroom, no longer able to hold back from crying. 

In the mirror as you splash water on your face to reduce puffiness, a vain and probably futile attempt of not alerting Sebastian to your upset, you can’t help but curse his name. “Private, not secret,” you mutter, flicking more water upwards, “How fucking stupid.” 

Enough time eventually passes for you to have reasonably gone to the office and signed papers, and you catch a glimpse of yourself on the way out. Mascara dots your undereyes, though not noticeably, but it’s the pained expression on your features that unsettles you. You hadn’t realized until this moment that the reason you’re so upset isn’t because he didn’t declare his love for you, but because he did it so easily and without a second thought you wonder how many times he’s done it when you're not around. 

The thought makes a small piece of your heart splinter off. 

⭑⭒⭑

Independence in relationships is incredibly important. 

You’ve always been a force to be reckoned with, and that didn’t end when you started dating Sebastian. Doing things alone has never been an issue for you — solo travelling has always been one of your favourite hobbies and you still regularly take weekends away without your boyfriend. He does the same, knows it’s healthy, and the time apart helps you grow and be stronger together. Tonight the two of you are going out with separate friend groups, getting ready alongside each other in a comfortable silence. 

“Babe? Pass me my toothbrush?” Sebastian asks, words muffled slightly by the towel he has scrunched over his face to try and try his hair. 

In the middle of brushing your own, you nod before reaching into the toothbrush holder and pulling out the bamboo stick that matches yours. A year or so ago you realized just how much plastic waste the hygiene tool creates, and Sebastian welcomed the change with open arms. Soon the only sound in the bathroom is the scrubbing of teeth and the hum that Sebastian elicits when you bend over to spit in the sink. You go to swat him for the insinuated lewdness but he dodges easily, playful smile on his lips before he ducks out of the room to change. 

Mascara and lipstick are the finishing touches to your makeup look, which is complete in a matter of seconds. Hair is the next item to check off your list — it’s too hot in the southern heatwave Raleigh is experiencing to do anything other than a ponytail, but you try to spice it up with a fluffy braid or two. It sounds as though Sebastian is getting ready to leave from the newly sneaker-clad footsteps clomping around the apartment, and being finished enough in the bathroom to leave it you go to bid him goodbye. 

He’s facing away from you, back slightly hunched because he’s no doubt texting Teuvo that he’s on the way to pick him up. You didn’t care to ask about the details of this guys’ night, but from a casual conversation or two throughout the week you learned they were going to some upscale bar that supposedly has the best bottle service in the world, according to a few rookies. Careful not to alert him to your presence, you tip-toe across the room and wrap your arms around Sebastian’s waist as soon as you’re able. You inhale into his shirt, breathing in cologne and something else that’s indescribably Sebastian, but you also don’t miss the way his muscles contract under your touch instead of releasing. 

“Have fun tonight,” you say softly while backing away, afraid to make him any more uncomfortable. Affection in your home has always been encouraged by Sebastian despite his reservations about it in public. 

His response is just as quiet. “Thanks, sweetheart, you too.”

A ping comes from Sebastian’s phone then, and he goes to leave, goes as far as taking two steps towards the door before you make one more move of desperation for some intimacy. You tug his arm back gently, lace your fingers through his, and lean in. Sebastian has never said no to a kiss in all the years you’ve known him, and hopefully it will appease the anxiety creating roots in your brain. 

“Don’t kiss me.”

You’re beyond taken aback by the words — are actually flabbergasted. “Why not?” you ask, but the words are shaky and don’t come out of your mouth as you would have liked them to. 

Sebastian sighs. “Your lipstick will get stuck in the corners of my mouth and the guys will tease me relentlessly. I just don’t want that right now.”

It takes everything in you to not let him see the hurt he’s caused displayed on your features. You’ve always been an emotive person, and it was something Sebastian always said he loved about you. “That’s never stopped you before.”

“Well, it’s stopping me now.”

He’s gone without an apology, though the remarks thrown your direction are firmly located in a morally ambiguous grey area so you’re not even sure one is warranted, and promises to see you when he gets home. The door opens and shuts without so much of a hinge squeak, and you’re left alone with nothing but your racing thoughts and heavy heart. 

You pick up your phone, send a few texts to the group chat explaining that you’re under the weather but want them to still have fun, and crawl into bed lipstick and all. It unintentionally stains the pillowcase in the shuffle, and your heartstrings tug — would it have been such a bad thing if Sebastian had been marked as yours?

⭑⭒⭑

The rare dinners you’re able to share with Sebastian during the season are normally filled with a comfortable silence. 

Tonight, however, it’s suffocating. Normally you would chalk up the slight scowl and grunts while he shovels food into his mouth to a bad practice, but it was an off day. You’re utterly perplexed at the behaviour, at everything Sebastian has done lately, but you’re too exhausted to have that conversation with him. Maybe someday soon, possibly even tomorrow, but not right now. All you’re focused on is getting through dinner and crawling into bed. 

Your work day had been horrendous — everything went wrong that could, plus things you didn’t even know had the option to blow up in your face. Clients screamed at you over the phone about advertisements not being printed, a co-worker ‘accidentally’ ate your lunch, and the position you interviewed for was given to a newcomer with little skill. All you want to do is put this day behind you and start again when the sun rises. 

Clanking cutlery is enough to pull you out of your thoughts. You notice Sebastian’s plate is clear, your own barely touched, and he’s looking at you with an unreadable stare. After so many years together you thought you could read him like a book, but apparently not. 

“I thought I could like it like this.” 

Your own fork and knife crash against porcelain, making your ears ring. “Like what?”

Sebastian sighs, “Us. I thought I could learn to love us like this. Just being boring and domestic, but I can’t. I need more.”

Pain flashes across your features, and he winces when he looks up to see the wounded expression you wear. Not knowing what else to do, you take a sip of water. One turns into several, and soon the glass in front of you is empty. 

“I can give you more,” you whisper. You know you’d give anything to Sebastian if he asked, and you are determined to make this work. 

He shakes his head, most likely in defeat or exasperation. “You can’t. That’s alright, I’ve accepted it. You should too.”

The finality in his tone surprises you — he’s clearly been thinking about this for a while, and his disinterest in including you in the conversation stings almost as much as the action of him walking away from the table. Sebastian continues to say nothing as you sit mouth agape and unable to move. Time is frozen and you’re stuck, possibly forever in the moment where the relationship you thought would last forever shattered into a million pieces. You don’t even know he’s actually gone until the front door slams, effectively breaking your heart in a way you’re not sure can ever be repaired.

⭑⭒⭑

enjoy this fic? give it a reblog :) <3

[laurenairay]

breathe me in, breathe me out - JT Compher

Summary: a reunion with JT at a summer wedding brings you more than you could have ever expected.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: fluff, mild pining, summer wedding.

A/N: this is my entry for @antoineroussel​’s summer fic exchange, and I have written this JT Compher fic for @fallinallincurls​! I really hope I captured everything you asked for Bre, and I hope even more than you love reading it as much as I loved writing it!

Fic title from Watermelon Sugar, by Harry Styles.

Series masterlist

*

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” – Maya Angelou

Weddings were a complex thing. Fundamentally, they should be easy, simple, celebrations of love. But often they were so much more than that; the stress of organising the ‘perfect day’, choosing who to invite and who not to invite, things going wrong, items not arriving, last minute cancellations, bad weather and so many more things that can effectively ruin what should be the happiest day of two people’s lives, starting them off on that new chapter together.

Over the past few years, you’d watched more and more friends getting married, helping out with all the planning and preparations, so when it came to helping out with your brother’s upcoming wedding, you were at least prepared for all the things that could go wrong. Your brother’s fiancé was (thankfully) fairly laidback compared to some brides you’d been around before, but even then there were some tears when there were complications with the flower orders and arguments over the seating plans. There were more than a few stressful moments that you’d had to deal with personally, as the only sister of the groom and the only non-related bridesmaid of the bride, but when the morning came on the big day, all you could see was how happy excited your brother was to marry her.

And that’s what mattered. Seeing him so in love, so happy, so excited for his future with her was all you cared about.

Waking up at the crack of dawn to head over to where the bride’s party were getting ready wasn’t your favourite idea, but you arrived with a tired smile and two trays of coffees, earning tired smiles in return. The bride’s father was a member of the local country club, which had its own venue area and private rooms (as well as its own mini hotel), so this was where your brother’s bride had chosen to get ready before the cars picked you all up for the church (your brother and his groomsmen were getting ready in your family home). All of the other bridesmaids were sisters or cousins of the bride, so you were mostly left to your own devices – which suited you fine – giving you a chance to wake up slowly while your hair and make-up were done, sitting to the side of the room while the closer bridesmaids rushed around squawking.

If your only job today was to take candid sweet photos to send to your soon-to-be sister-in-law later, then that was fine. The less stress the better.

But eventually it was time. Your whole troupe of bridesmaids were primped and polished and perfect, and the bride…well, she was radiant. And it was her happy-nervous-excited smile that topped everything off, only making her look more beautiful. Your brother was a lucky man indeed.

“Ready to officially join our family?” you asked softly, smiling at the bride.

She huffed out a laugh, a little watery, a lot emotional, but nodded and smiled at you in return. “Yeah, I am.”

You just grinned at her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before stepping back to let the procession to the cars take place.

If you were being honest, the ceremony sped by in a blur – all you could remember was your brother’s happy smile and happy tears. Thank god for the photographer. It wasn’t until your car was pulling back into the country club and the bridesmaids were all piling back into the rooms you’d gotten ready in this morning that you even took a moment to just breathe. The serious part of the day was over – now it was time to relax, have a drink or two, and party. That was your new sister-in-law’s intentions anyway, and you were determined to follow her wishes. Especially her idea to change into white sneakers for the reception; that was an idea of hers you were more than happy to do.

But it was as you walked through the reception hall, smiling and greeting old family friends on your brother’s side of the party, that you saw someone you weren’t expecting.

“Mom, I didn’t know JT was coming,” you murmured, trying to be subtle as you glanced at him out the corner of your eye.

“Oh you know how it is, honey – your brother invited all the neighbours we’re close friends with, especially those with the boys he grew up with, and the Comphers are on that list. We just weren’t sure if JT would be able to make it with his hockey season and the cup win, and, well, that’s not something you can ever truly plan for this time of year, is it?” she explained with a smile.

She had a point, sure – but maybe if you’d had a little heads up, you would’ve been able to prepare yourself for how good he looks with that beard. Like, damn. Hockey championship wins looked good on him. No, focus, don’t be a creeper.

“Do make sure to go and say hello to them later, yes? I know you and JT always got along when you were younger too,” she added, before wandering off.

More like you were the awkward younger sister and JT was always super nice to you, but close enough. You bit your bottom lip briefly, trying to think of what you’d even say to him (‘congrats on the cup, bud, how’s your life been for the past eight years?’), when he turned his head and caught eyes with you. And immediately started walking over to you, big smile on his face, sending your stomach erupting in butterflies. How had you forgotten how handsome he was? From 18 to 27, he’d only gotten more attractive, especially with how he’d obviously grown in confidence, that ease in his walk and his body language, and it was all you could do not to melt as he stopped in front of you.

“I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last saw you,” he said with a soft smile.

“Hello to you too,” you laughed, fighting the heat that wanted to rise to your cheeks.

A light flush rose to JT’s cheeks, making you smile even more, even as your traitorous heart started beating a little faster. You’d thought that you would’ve been able to get over your childhood crush on him by now – it had been so many years, after all – but apparently not. Who could blame you though, when he smiled at you like that?

“You look amazing, by the way,” JT said, smile turning a little shy.

“Oh thanks! The bridesmaids’ dresses were a great choice, right?” you grinned.

“Great for you, definitely,” he nodded.

The butterflies in your stomach swarmed with a vengeance, but you tried to ignore them. A little light flirting meant nothing. Right?

The two of you ended up sitting nearby, just talking, catching up about everything and anything that had changed since he left to play ice hockey, which turned out to be a lot. Everything from you going through college, starting a career, moving out into your own apartment, to JT going through the AHL and making it into the NHL, the highs and lows of professional hockey, and of course his Stanley Cup win. He only knew his family and your immediate family here tonight, and while you knew a few more than that you still knew less than half, so you didn’t feel bad about monopolising his time – JT certainly seemed happy enough to stay by your side. Time had flown by, both over the last eight years and tonight, and before you realised it, the two of you had been talking for a few hours, and were only broken out of your little bubble by the DJ announcing the last slow dance of the night.

“Would you, uh, maybe want to dance with me?” he asked hesitantly.

The hope in his eyes gave you hope of your own, stupid ridiculous hope, and you found yourself nodding, JT just smiling as he took your hand and led you onto the outskirts of the dancefloor.

At last, My love has come along, My lonely days are over, And life is like a song.

What a song. As the two of you swayed in time with the music, in time with everyone else paired up on the dancefloor, you found yourself staring up into his pretty brown eyes, him watching you back with the softest smile on his face. And even though you’d spent the last few hours talking, not a single word was spoken as you danced, one of his hands on your hip and the other clasping one of yours, while your free hand rested on his chest. It was sweet, and it was intimate, and it was soft, none of the things you ever thought you’d experience with JT. All those childhood fantasies and hopes came bubbling back to the surface, and just this once you allowed yourself to live in them, floating like you were on a cloud.

As much as you didn’t want the moment to end, you knew it had to, even though it made your heart ache to step away from him. Thankfully, you knew that the reception would be ending soon, and you would be able to go and bask in the sweetness of the evening in your own room, savouring each moment you’d shared with him in secret, in private. The two of you stayed silent as JT walked you over to the bar, getting you a bottle of water each, and it wasn’t until he took his first sip that he started talking again, murmuring a joke about a man walking past that had you almost spitting your own water back out. And just like that, your conversation started up all over again, people drifting in and out of your bubble, but for you everything was focused on JT. How could it not be?

“Are you staying here tonight? Or are you in the group of taxis back into town?” you asked, smiling up at him as you noticed a small set of people gathering by the doors.

“Ah, thankfully my mom booked us all a room before playoffs even started, so I’m staying here,” JT grinned, “I’m guessing you’re staying here too?”

“Yeah that’s right. Third floor,” you nodded.

“No way, us too! Good to know that I can walk you back tonight,” he said softly.

Walk you back? Oh, walk you back to your room? The very thought of him escorting you upstairs made your cheeks heat up, and although he raised an eyebrow as he noticed, JT didn’t comment on your reaction, which you could only be grateful for.

The two of you stayed by the bar, the few last family members who were staying in the country club hotel suites chatting with you too, until your mom wandered over, looking a little glassy-eyed but happy.

“We’re heading up to the rooms now – are you coming?”

You shook your head with a smile, holding up your half-full glass. “I’ll just finish my drink before heading up.”

She nodded, smiling at both you and JT, before walking away again. It was strange that she hadn’t said anything or even implied anything about JT being by your side all night, but you weren’t going to complain. It was probably a perk of him being a long-time family friend – it wasn’t like JT was a stranger who was going to take advantage of you. Just an insanely attractive guy that had been more than happy to spend a whole evening with you.

That wasn’t something you wanted to think about while he was standing next to you, so close that you could feel his body heat through his jacket.

Eventually though, it was time to head to the hotel suites, when both of you had finished your drinks. There weren’t many people left to say goodbye to, but you waved cheerfully and kissed cheeks as you passed people you knew, JT staying silent by your side until the two of you reached the elevators.

“Thank you for letting me stick to your side all night,” he mused, loosening his tie a little around his neck.

“Are you kidding? That’s the most fun I’ve had at a wedding in ages,” you grinned.

“Yeah?” he said, blushing again, offering you a sweet smile.

Oh he really was so cute.

“Yeah, JT. It was great spending some actual time with you after all these years,” you nodded, smiling back at him.

The last thing you wanted was for this sweetheart to think he’d been a burden or annoying, because that was so far from the truth. It wasn’t like you were lying – it really was the most fun you’d had at a wedding, and it was all because of him.

When the elevator stopped at your shared floor, JT gestured for you to head out first like the gentleman he was, quickly joining you to walk along the corridor. But as you got closer to your room, unmissable noises got louder and louder, until you realised that your next door neighbour for the night had a partner with her…and they were clearly having incredibly athletic sex. Damn it.

“What’s the likelihood they will finish in the next 5 minutes?” you winced.

JT just grimaced at a particularly loud moan. “Like, 0.1%?” he offered.

You just groaned, the groan echoed unintentionally by occupied room, making you both laugh despite the frustrating situation.

“If you want, and I’m not trying to be skeevy here, but I have two beds in my room? I’m at the other end of the corridor so you won’t hear them, and you’re more than welcome to have the other bed if you want to actually get some sleep?” he said.

His eyes were wide and earnest, although they narrowed in annoyance as the banging of a headboard started in the silence. If he thought there was any chance of you not agreeing to that, he had another thing coming. Sharing a room with JT? Hell yes. Even if it was totally innocent, he had no idea what that offer was doing to you. Sure, you’d been looking forward to basking in the fairytale that the reception had been, but this was way better.

“I will absolutely take you up on that. Let me just get changed into pyjamas?” you said, smiling.

“Oh, yeah, of course. Uh, I’m in room 310. I’ll see you soon?”

You just nodded, sending him a thankful smile, before you opened your hotel door. Somehow the sex noises were even louder in here, and you grimaced, turning your head to see JT already grimacing too, before he laughed a little sheepishly.

“Yeah don’t subject yourself to that for long. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he mused.

Wasting no time, you stripped out of your beautiful bridesmaid’s dress and hung it up in the wardrobe, and quickly pulled on your pyjamas. After brushing your teeth, scrubbing your make-up off and letting down your fancy up-do, all you needed to do was grab your phone charger and phone before heading back out of the room. The noises hadn’t lessened in the slightest while you were getting ready for bed, and to be honest, if JT hadn’t offered you his spare bed, you don’t know what you would’ve done.

The blessings for this guy just kept on coming.

Especially as JT answered the door shirtless. You found yourself freezing slightly, eyes planted on his sculpted chest, before heat rushed to your cheeks as you broke out of your stupor, only to find JT blinking as if he’d done the same. Was he…was he as affected as you were? Well, that was something to think about, you know, when you were eventually alone again.

“Thanks for letting me stay in here,” you murmured, as you plugged your phone in to charge.

There were plenty of photos to put on Instagram, but that was a job for tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow. In this moment, you just wanted to enjoy this extra time you had with JT – you didn’t want to waste any of the time that he was looking at you and smiling at you staring at your phone instead. Not a chance.

“Oh you don’t have to thank me. There’s literally no way I would’ve been happy with you trying to sleep with all of that going on next door,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“Well I’m still going to thank you,” you mused, rolling your eyes fondly, “it’s been a long day and I definitely need my beauty sleep.”

JT bit his bottom lip, as if he was trying to think whether to say something or not, before he exhaled, not saying a word. What was he holding back? You frowned slightly but didn’t push him – you sure as hell didn’t want him to pry into your own thoughts after all.

“Good night, JT,” you said softly, snuggling down under the covers.

“Good night,” he murmured, smiling over at you, “See you in the morning.”

Waking up in an unfamiliar bed was disorientating to say the least. Luckily you didn’t have much of a headache from all the drinks you’d had last night, silently thanking JT for all the water he kept ordering for the two of you. Oh damn, JT. You quickly lifted your head, easily spotting his fluffy red hair in the neighbouring bed, and bit your bottom lip as you cheeks heated up. Last night wasn’t a dream. You really had stayed in JT’s room overnight, after a whole evening spent by his side. And you weren’t dreaming, not a chance.

All of a sudden, your phone started ringing, loud and obnoxious, earning you a groan from the guy next to you as he woke up. Mom. What did she want? And why so early?

“Where are you? Why aren’t you answering your door?”

Oh damn, that was the last thing you’d expected.

“Brittany-Louise had a very loud bed partner as I headed back to my room last night, so JT offered the second bed in his hotel room,” you explained, wincing.

“He offered…in his room… you didn’t sleep wi-”

“No, it was very kind of him to offer the spare separate bed in his room,” you interrupted, willing away the heat rising on your face.

It was blatantly obvious that JT was listening to the conversation, but you desperately tried to keep your cool. The last thing you wanted was for him to think that your mom thought you’d slept with him. Definitely not after how sweet he’d been last night.

“Well that boy always was a gentleman. Is he staying for breakfast in the club restaurant?”

“I don’t know, let me ask,” you replied.

You pulled the phone away from your ear, pressing it to your chest as you smiled at JT sheepishly. “So, um, my mom wants to know If you’re having breakfast downstairs too?”

JT’s eyes went wide in realisation at who were talking to, but he just nodded. “Yeah I was planning on it. I think my parents and Jesse are too.”

Oh good. You smiled at him, before putting the phone back up to your ear. “Yes he will be.”

“Okay good, both of you can meet us down there when you’re ready. I will be having a word with Brittany-Louise’s mom in the meantime.”

You end the call with a wince at your mom’s abrupt tone, laughing softly at JT’s confused face. “Well Brittany-Louise is going to get an earful, and we’ve been summoned for breakfast,” you explained.

“To be fair, she gave you an earful last night,” JT grinned, making you groan, “and breakfast sounds good to me. We can head down together if you want?”

You bit your bottom lip as JT sat upright in bed, the bedsheets slipping away to reveal his thickly-muscled chest all over again, and it took all your concentration not to blush. Somehow he looked even better than you remembered last night. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’m literally just going to having a quick wash and brush my teeth before throwing on a dress so I won’t take long?”

“Perfect, see you soon,” he said, smiling softly.

You sped through a quick body wash in your own shower, throwing on a simple blue dress and a little mascara, and you were just slipping into your shoes when there was a knock on the door. Opening it with a smile, you saw JT standing there in a plain tshirt and jeans, looking unfairly fresh and awake. He did also look a little stunned though, making your smile slide into a light frown, before he seemed to break out of his thoughts by shaking his head.

“Wow you look amazing,” he murmured.

“I’m not wearing anything special,” you said confused. It was just a simple old dress?

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t true,” he said, shrugging, although a fierce blush spread across his cheeks - which he clearly felt burning, so he turned away. “We should probably head down.”

“Oh jeez yeah, definitely don’t want my mom sending up a search party,” you laughed.

The look of fear on JT’s face made you laugh, and that seemed to break the awkward tension between the two of you.

When the two of you reached the club’s restaurant, JT’s family weren’t down there yet, so he sat next to you on the tables that your mom and aunt had pulled together. You grinned to yourself when you noticed how mortified Brittany-Louise looked, JT snickering when you told him. The two of you ordered your food with little fanfare, and although you were mostly in conversation with other people while you waited for your breakfast, every time you glanced over at him, he was already looking at you.

That had to mean something, right?

By the time you’d finished eating (JT’s family finally having joined the big group), there were a few people ready to head back to their rooms too, so you and JT headed back with them, even though you wished you could’ve spent just that little bit more time alone with him. Just that little bit more, before you were separated to see him again who knows when. Eventually though, you reached your room, the rest of your group continuing on down the corridor.

“I guess this is where I leave you,” he murmured, as the two of you remained the last people in the corridor.

You knew he had to pack his bags. You knew you had to pack your bags. But that didn’t mean you want this time with him to end. So you took a deep breath, hoping your smile wasn’t shaky.

“Kinda wish we had more time,” you said softly.

The moment the words left your lips, your breath hitched in your throat, and you tried not to wince. What if you were reading everything wrong? What if the fantasy really had all been in your head?

But then JT smiled, ever so lightly, and the tension melted from your body. That soft smile wasn’t one he gave out often, you knew that much. So maybe you weren’t the only one who felt this way, that there was something worth exploring between the two of you.

“Then maybe we should do this again some time. Dinner, drinks, breakfast the next morning,” JT said smoothly, “Just maybe without all your family around.”

Definitely without your family. But oh wow, he wanted to take you out on a date? JT wanted to take you out on a date?

“I’d really like that,” you said, smiling shyly.

JT’s soft smile shifted into a confident grin, sending a sharp jolt through your body and heat rushing to your cheeks, both of which you ignored as he handed his phone over to you to put your phone number in. He stayed silent as you typed, just keeping that intense stare in you, not helping the rush in your body at all. And the moment you handed his phone back, he started typing himself, until you felt your own phone buzz in your handbag. Ah, smart. Very smart.

“I’ve got some pr team things to do the next couple of days, but I’ll call you? Are you free on Friday?” he asked hopefully.

For him, for this? You’d make sure you were. But he didn’t have know that. Not yet.

“I’m sure I can work something out,” you said simply, smiling innocently.

JT’s eyes flashed with something a little more heated in response, sending a shiver down your spine. Damn, how was that possible? How did he have such an effect on you like this? 

He must have seen something in your eyes, must have felt that same flash of heat because the next thing you knew his hand cupped your cheek, and he took two seconds to search your face for a reaction before he leant down and took your lips in a kiss. You made a soft noise of surprise before you could stop yourself, but you wasted no time in clutching at his T-shirt, kissing him back just as intently, JT making his own soft noise in return. You lost yourself in his kisses, desperately glad in the back of your mind that no one else was in the corridor, but far too consumed by the feeling of his lips on yours, how soft his beard was against your skin, the way his tongue lightly brushed your tongue, how this was all so much yet not nearly enough. Then he pressed you lightly into the door, tearing a quiet noise from your throat, making the embrace all that more intense before suddenly breaking the kiss and stepping away, breathing just as heavily as you were.

“I’ll see you Friday,” he said, his voice a little rough, his eyes a little wild.

You just nodded, head still spinning slightly as you watched him walk down the corridor to his own hotel room. Did that really just happen? Were you still dreaming? No, there was no way that you could’ve dreamt the way his beard felt against your skin, the way his lips perfectly fitted with your lips. No way. The moment that you stepped into your own room and closed the door behind you, your fingers drifted up to your mouth, lightly brushing over the slightly swollen lips in a daze.

Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

[jxmieoleksiaks]

Nonsense / Brady Skjei

This fic is for @antoineroussel​ ‘s 2022 summer fic exchange for @xsyntheticsensation​ !  Sorry this is posted a day before the deadline, but 45-47 hour work weeks kill your creative processes lol. i ‘m not sure if we’ve ever spoke before, but i do hope you enjoy this, and you can come into my ask about the suffering red wings anytime. (though lets hope the yzerplan works)

length: ~1.9K words tw: just a little swearing. it’s more cute than anything summary: sometimes it’s good to have a friend that can get you into events.. song inspo: Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter gif: Mine.....don’t steal

The one good thing about not having too many friends? Your best friend didn’t either, and you were always her plus one at cool events. You had known a couple of her friends that worked at the arena with her for the events staff and others, but they were at the events too, so that gave you the lucky invite to free concerts, and free canes.

The first thing you knew about going to games with her, is that Aho was her absolute favorite. She would always joke around that maybe he would show up to a worker orientation and he would fall in love right then and there She was pretty without any effort though, so if that were to happen, it probably would. 

“Allie, I bet one of these guys would fall in love with you before me.” She would say, with also having her eye out on an older co-worker, but that was a different rabbit hole.

It was a normal Friday night. You ended up getting carry out from your favorite diner near your apartment, and had a facetime with your mom back home in Tennessee. She had more of a life than you did, but always made time for a dinner facetime once a week. Her move shocked you, but it’s what you needed, and she knew that. Being in Carolina for a few years had helped you more than you thought. 

During the facetime, you got a text asking to go to a free Canes event tomorrow afternoon. You read the text out to your mom and she for sure wanted you to go.

“I don’t know, let me check with Oreo, I do have a never ending schedule.” Mentioning your cat, like she was going to stop you.

Saturday came, and you threw on a normal Canes shirt with your favorite ripped jeans, and a little makeup look, because you wanted to look cute.

“So, what’s the event actually?” You had no idea what it was even about, it could be a season ticket event, even though she would know better, you get too many calls about season tickets since you end up getting ticketmaster resale ones most times.

“Just like a summer event, music, free shit and some players are supposed to be there.” She sounded excited.

“So, you’re finally gonna fall in love with Aho? Do your coworkers approve?” You asked with a slight laugh as you pulled into the parking garage, and she swiped her badge.

“Maybe, i don’t know who’s gonna be here, maybe I should have tried more?” She laughed. “Listen as I keep saying, could happen to you!” She smiled, she meant it genually, but to you, you just couldn’t believe it.

The concourse was hopping with loud music, and it made the both of you miss hockey season. You both loved coming to games seeing teams that you both, or separately enjoyed play the team. You ended up getting free shirts and phone chargers, and saw an interactive board on who was going to be there.

“Allie, you gotta meet Brady. I’ve seen him at the Christmas event at Kroger and he was cute, plus I think he and his wife split up.” Her eyes grew at you and gave you a smirk.

“Yeah he’s cute, I..don’t know if he would like this but..” You motioned down to yourself, knowing what kind of girls these hockey boys were into. You heard too many stories from her and seeing the significant others of these guys. 

“Allie, now.” She grabbed your hand and shoved you around the concourse to where one of the bars was that you had dinner before games.

He was standing with Martinnook, and you couldn’t lie to yourself He was pretty attractive, the gray hair, though he wasn’t even thirty yet, was doing something to you for sure. 

“Can you even get in this line?” You asked as you two stood in the long line.

“No one has to know, plus I think everyone knows I’m here, I’m a fan first.” She said, which was true. She always took the free tickets, and everyone knew she was a die hard fan before she took the job.

The line moved, and you two were walking up to the line. You said hi to Jordan with a smile and got an autograph and a quick picture. You then made your way to Brady and grinned and said Hi as he stared signing the photo. He looked up at you and stopped. Your fear was that he was disgusted…or something, you didn’t know. 

“Hi..” He stopped in his tracks before you got to the photo opp.

“Well, I think he’s feelin something there.” Jordan laughed with your friend who was behind him.

You took the picture and he was very close to you, more closer than other players you had met at signings. You saw your friend laughing with Jordan, but the moment was over as security rushed you out, and he smiled and waved goodbye before you two met in front of the bar.

“I think he likes you.” She winked before messing with her phone, typing something quickly before shoving it back into her pocket. “And I know what you’re going to say, and don’t even.” She said, pushing you back to earth.

You two enjoyed the afternoon and headed home, as she had a dinner for her brothers birthday. She dropped you at your apartment and grinned at you as you walked to the building. She was acting pretty weird since the interaction, but you think she was just pretty excited for you. She knew men interaction for you, was rare as could be.

You had just fed Oreo and sat on your couch, trying to figure out what to make for dinner. You got up from the couch, heading back into the kitchen, when your Apple Watch buzzed and saw a number pop up that you didn’t notice. 

Unknown Number: Hey. I got your number from Jordan. I don’t know your name but you were at the Summer Bash? 

You ran to the couch to grab your phone. This..isnt real? This only happened on the internet..right?

Allie: Hi Yes I was… I’m Allie…did he get a number from a taller brunette?

Unknown Number: He did. Nice to meet you, Brady. If you’re not busy, how about dinner at Bru’s? I know, kind of sudden, but I don’t get that much time off.

You were frozen. This was so not happening right now. How much did Maya pay him?!

Allie: That would be perfect. I’ll meet you there : )

You threw your phone down and ran your hands through your hair. You could not comprehend the afternoon already, and now this?

You quickly texted Maya, explaining the saturation to her, and all she could send was a laugh, and smirk emoji.

“That bitch.” You said to yourself with a laugh, not even knowing what to think.

You redid your makeup and changed your top before petting Oreo on the head. 

“Wish me luck Oreo.” You laughed nervously.

You hopped in your car and drove downtown. You were only about 20 minutes, but you were hoping the drive would take longer, so you could attempt to hype yourself up.

You walked into the restaurant and was seated at a booth. You were always so early, but if you were on time, your brain made you think you were late. You ordered a drink and waited, hoping this wasn’t a prank, or if someone weird got your number, and you were going to be kidnapped.  After a couple sips of your drink, and scrolling Instagram, a tall man walked over to the table. You looked up and noticed the graying hair that you saw earlier today, and your eyes could have popped out of your head.

“So I’m not being punk’d or kidnapped?” You said, which, you probably shouldn’t have, but it just came out.

“Uh, nope, don’t see Ashton Kutcher here.” He laughed before he sat down.

“So, how in the hell, did you end up wanting my phone number….” You looked at him.

“I uh..” He ended up getting nervous. “I thought you were cute, and Jordan started laughing at me, and I think your friend tried to get us together.” He laughed.

“So not a dare?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t going to laugh at the words.

“Dare? Has…that happened to you before?” He asked. 

You looked down, didn’t happen exactly like that, but you were not looked at by anyone really.

“Not the point, but just seems insane, you know? No complaints, just crazy.” 

“Well, never know how it’ll turn out.” He smiled before he ordered his drink.

The conversation flowed easily. You listened to his stories and how he became a name thanks to Saturday Night live. That skit was iconic for sure. He also listened to you, how you moved to Ralighe, and just wanted to find a different life for yourself, but also stay the same.

You finished up your meal, and had another drink you both felt like you were done.

“There’s an ice cream place down the street, you up for some dessert?” Brady asked as he put his card down on the table for the waiter.

“If I ever say no to ice cream, somethings wrong with me.” You laughed before grabbing your bag.

You two were the only ones in the shop, which was not that normal for Saturday nights, but you figured it was a lull. You both ordered some ice cream and sat down at a table. Some people finally came in, and was surprised that no one noticed him, or if they did, didn’t ask for him.

“Wow, you must blend in with the public well?” You laughed before taking another bite of your ice cream. “Or, they don’t know who you are because I’m not blonde.” You made light of the situation.

“I mean, I”m not Seb, not the most popular.” He laughed. “But the blonde thing isn’t true…well..I guess we have to prove them wrong.” Brady said before shaking his head lightly.

You two finished your desserts and walked towards the parking garage that you parked at. He walked you to your car, and you talked for a few more minutes.

“Thanks. This was probably the best real actual first date I’ve been on.” You said, probably shouldn’t have admitted that out loud.

Brady’s face turned into a look of concern. Did you just blow it for yourself?

“Wait, you’ve never been on a date before?” He asked you, moving slightly closer to you.

“Not exactly.” You shrugged, before looking down. You hated how that experience really wasn’t in the cards for you.

He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. He smelled like cologne, and tasted like the chocolate chip ice cream he had just eaten. You read about the spark that happened with a good kiss like that, but to find out it was real? Way better than the kisses you’ve had before.

“Sorry.. I don’t know if you’re good with that early…” He didn’t make that much sense.

“It was perfect.” You felt yourself blush. “I don’t mind early, I’m early for most things.” You spit out, the two of you were almost talking nonsense.

“Tuesday? I’ll take you on the best second date ever.”He winked before placing another kiss on your lips.

[starshine-hockey-girl]

Star Crossed- Miro Heiskanen fic

Here is my very late summer fic exchange story written for @selfindulgentpoorlywritten who requested Reader Insert, fluff, smut (18+ only), angst - with a happy ending. It's my first time writing for Miro. I hope that you enjoy it.

@antoineroussel @fallinallincurls @princessphilly

Word Count- 7.6K

Author's Notes- I do play a little fast and loose with factual details and the realities of Covid

Warnings- alcohol use; some light verbal abuse; an abundance of fluff

Sunday-September 16th- 2018

Aurora looked down at her phone and saw a text message from her father, Jere Lehtinen. She sighed and walked away from the group. She, her boyfriend Brayden and their friends had gone to Top Golf for his birthday. Her father had been away at the Dallas Stars training camp for the past week.

Brayden dropped her back at her large house in Preston Hollow. “I’ll call you later,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek. Brayden and Rory had been dating for almost a year and Rory was ridiculously in love. They were the prototype of high school sweethearts who began dating their senior year of high school. Originally, Rory had planned on attending the University of Texas to major in Sports Management in pursuit of her dream job in the NHL. However, when Brayden had been waitlisted at UT, she changed her plans and went with her second choice of Southern Methodist University. He started at community college at Brookhaven. The change of plans had come as a huge disappointment to her father who did not want to see his precious baby girl change her dreams for a boy-particularly that boy. 

Rory walked into the house and called, “Papa- I am home.” 

Jere called from the kitchen, “In here, Pupu(bunny).” She walked into the large kitchen to give her father a hug. He squeezed her tight, “How was your night? How was Bray?” The disdain dripped from his voice. 

“Papa, you know that it is BrayDEN,” she corrected as she eyed the young man standing at the end of the island. The tall brunette looked at the bubbly, young blonde, blushed and looked down again. Rory looked at her father and spoke in Finnish, “Who’s the boy?”

Jere looked at Miro then back at his daughter and replied in Finnish, “That’s Miro. I told you about him. He’s starting with the Stars and will be living with us until he gets settled into Dallas life.”

Rory looked back and forth between the two and spoke in English, “Staying here? In our house?”

“Yes and I want you to show him the ropes,” her father replied. 

“What ropes?” she stared at her father in disbelief, “Is this the favor you wanted to ask me? Aren’t there some Finns on the team to show him the ropes?” she asked incredulously. 

“Pupu,” he father replied with a sweet smile, “He needs someone his own age to show him the town. He can’t go hang out in bars with the other guys. Do your papa this favor.” Miro stared at the ground and listened into the conversation. He could understand the general idea of it even if the finer points were lost in him. He wasn't sure what the ropes were and why he would need to see them.

Rory rolled her eyes, “Fine, but he has to fit into my schedule- not the other way around.”

"Pupu," he chided his youngest daughter, "You know he will not have flexibility in his schedule. Why are you not willing to help him out?"

"I think you know why. Brayden won't like it if he is always hanging around. Also I am not wasting my time with some rookie that might be sent down to Austin within two weeks." Jere gave her the "look". "Papa, I have a life," she pleaded, "Okay, I will schedule something for next weekend."

“Thank you,” her father kissed her cheek, “Now, can you show Miro to the guest bedroom?”

Rory waited for Miro to join and spoke in Finnish, "I will show you the room and then we will come get your bags." They passed through the family room. Miro stopped and stared at the three Selke trophies prominently displayed in the built-in. Mementos of Jere’s impressive Stars and Team Finland career were scattered around the room. Rory moved to stand next to him as he looked at each item. She looked at the trophy then at Miro and spoke again in Finnish, "So you must be good if Papa is so invested in you.

"Yeah," he blushed and replied back in Finnish, “I think I have a shot.” He looked at the framed photo of Rory sitting in the bowl of the Stanley Cup at the tender age of six months. "Is that you?" 

She smiled and continued in Finnish, "Yeah, I have hockey in my blood. Brayden hates it though."

They walked slowly to the guest bedroom. Miro turned at the door and smiled. "Is Brayden boyfriend? He should like things you like," he said in English. Rory's mouth dropped. "I speak English. Not much, but enough," he smiled, "I won't waste your time, bunny" Rory blushed and rushed to her room just in time for her nightly call from Brayden.

October 2021

“But why does he have to go?” Brayden whined to Rory. She adjusted her short sleeved Longhorn t-shirt and cut-off shorts. 

“Because there isn’t anything more quintessential Texan than the State Fair and Texas/OU football game,” she replied. “You know, you could be a little more understanding about the situation,” she sighed, “Imagine that you were across the world from your friends and family- in a brand new city. Wouldn’t you want someone to show you around?” 

Brayden walked up to her and lifted her up. He smiled, “Well, I don’t ever plan on leaving Texas so it will never be an issue for me.” She ran her hand over his broad chest and matching  Longhorn shirt and pressed her lips together. 

“You mean to live? You never want to live anywhere other than Texas?” she asked.

“To live and to be. I have everything I want and need here,” he joked as he kissed her cheek. He sat her down and playfully swatted her bottom. 

“Not even to travel? Explore the world and see what else there is to see?” she scoffed. 

“I mean, I’d go to Mexico or some place for our honeymoon, but that’s just about it.” he answered emphatically. Jere’s career had afforded Rory opportunities to travel the world much more than the average person her age. Between the annual trips in the summer to Finland and the international hockey tournaments, she had traveled extensively. She tried to imagine living a life that did not continue that sort of travel. It felt small-minded and unappealing, but Rory tried to dismiss the feeling. Brayden was her boyfriend and she loved him. She stared at his tall and muscular body. He was every bit of the stereotypical Texan that she was conditioned to want by her environment. She tried to shake the feeling that she wanted something more. Rory left him in the living room and walked to the bottom of the stairs. “Jäbä, are you ready to leave?” 

Miro came bounding down the stairs with a smile, “Yes, Aurora” He spoke her name in an exaggerated drawl playfully, “I am ready to go to the great State Fair of Texas.” She rolled her eyes and poked him in the middle of the chest. She had spent the previous week explaining the fair and its intricacies to a very confused Miro. “So it’s a carnival?” he would ask in Finnish. She would shake her head emphatically and describe its wonders. Again he would tease, “So it’s a really BIG carnival?” 

Brayden cleared his throat to get Rory’s attention. “We need to go if we want to do any sort of tailgating,” he explained. 

Rory’s facial expression changed slightly and Miro noticed. “What’s tailgating?” he tentatively asked in English. 

Rory answered back in Finnish, “It’s where people get drunk before a sporting event. In this case, because he is too young to legally drink inside the fair, he will start before the game.” 

Miro looked from Rory to Brayden and asked in Finnish, “And this is not good? You don’t like it?”

Rory spit out in English, “No, I don’t like it. I don’t like it all.”

Three hours later-Cotton Bowl Stadium

Miro looked over at Rory and sighed. She was trying to put on a brave face, but he could tell that she was upset. Brayden and his friends had imbibed before the game and were now making fools of themselves at the game. After taking a commanding lead through the third quarter, the UT Longhorns were now seeing that lead decimated by a fourth quarter OU Sooner comeback led by Kyler Murray. When OU scored the tying touchdown with two minutes left in the game, Brayden and his friends effectively lost-their-shit. A tirade of cuss words flowed from their mouths. Despite himself, Miro laughed. Rory shared a glance with him before breaking out in giggles as well. 

“What the fuck are the two of you laughing at, huh?” Brayden demanded and stomped his feet. 

This caused Rory’s giggles to erupt even louder. “Look at yourself. It’s a FOOTBALL game- not the end of the world,” she said between laughs. Brayden looked back and forth between the two friends and felt his blood pressure rise. He got the sense that they were mocking him and he detested being mocked. 

“Hey Finn boy,” he growled, “I don’t know what you are laughing at. You can barely speak English.” 

“Hey,” Rory chided him, “If you are mad at me for laughing, then be mad at me. Don’t take it out on Jäbä.” 

“Jäbä, Jäbä, Jäbä,” Brayden mocked, “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Dude,” Miro interjected quickly. 

“Don’t dude me,” Brayden replied, “We are NOT friends.”

Miro laughed, “No, it literally means ‘Dude’.” He turned to Rory and asked in Finnish, “How do you say nickname?” 

“The word is nickname,” Rory answered in Finnish. 

Miro turned around, “It’s nickname she have for me. You no like?”

“No, I don’t like it. I don’t like anything about you. You stupid foreign asshole,” Brayden countered, “You can’t even speak basic English.” 

Miro took a step toward Brayden. “I can speak English.” Brayden took a step back. He had not anticipated Miro standing up to him. Just then the Longhorns ran the ball down to the twenty four yard line. Brayden turned his attention back to the game. Miro turned to face Rory with a question in his eyes. She softly shook her head no and looked down. “Aurora,” he said softly, “Don’t be sad. He’s drunk. No big deal.” Internally, Rory knew that it was a big deal. She knew that his temper was out of control and she was embarrassed that Miro felt the brunt of it. “Aurora,” he said again, “It’s not your fault.” They shared a tender look and she sighed before giving him a soft smile. 

The stadium erupted in cheers as the Longhorns kicked a field goal to retake the lead. Brayden picked up Rory and squeezed her in a tight hug then placed a forceful kiss on her mouth. Miro watched in stunned silence. His heart raced and he felt an uncomfortable emotion pulsing through his body. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew that it was an immediate response to Brayden kissing Rory. Miro turned to observe half the crowd erupting in cheers while the other half looked dejected. “I’ll never understand football,” he thought to himself. 

After the game, the group made their way to the Midway for rides and carnival games. Brayden, Jayden and Caden bribed another fairgoer into purchasing large beers for them so their buzz would keep going. Miro walked behind Brayden and Rory as Brayden led her through the crowd with a tight grip on her waist. A carnival barker called out to the group from the Rope Ladder Climb. “Hey Bro, win your girl a prize,” he called out to Brayden, “All you have to do is climb this rope and ring the bell. It’s as easy as pie.” 

Brayden took a look at Rory and then looked back at Miro. “Yeah, I’ll do it,” he said as he pulled out his wallet. How much?” The barker informed him that it was ten dollars. “Hey Rory, can you spot me? I used the last of my cash for the beers.” She looked at him in disbelief. 

Miro stepped forward and handed the barker a crispy twenty. Brayden looked up in surprise. “Him first and then me,” Miro said, “We see who wins prize.” 

Brayden mounted the rope ladder and tried to balance his weight. He moved his right foot to the next rung and the ladder wobbled. He took another step and it wobbled again. His friends shouted suggestions to him- “Go faster, Tighten your grip, Go slower!” Beads of sweat covered Brayden’s forehead and palms. He began to lose his grip and with a final movement fell off of the ladder. He hit the inflatable with the palm of his hand and cussed, “Damn it, it’s rigged. It’s fucking rigged.”

Miro walked up to the ladder as Brayden exited and looked back at Rory. He gave her a sly smile and she giggled. “I go now?” he asked as he balanced on the ladder. The barker gave him the go signal and Miro took off. He nimbly climbed, moving his opposite limbs in a fluid motion- left, right left, right. Brayden stood in stunned silence as Miro reached the top within seconds and rang the bell in victory. Miro jumped off the ladder and slid down the inflatable. He flashed Rory another smile as he said to the barker, “You right- easy as cake” 

Rory laughed, “Jäbä, pie- the phrase is easy as pie.” 

Miro simply shrugged his shoulders, “I was close.”

The barker instructed Miro to pick from the top row of prizes. Miro laughed as he pointed to the prize he wanted. The barker pulled down the large stuffed animal and handed it to the Finn. Miro took the prize and placed it in Rory’s hands with a flourish. “Pupu pupulleni,” he said gallantly in Finnish. Rory hugged the prize and hid her face to hide her blush.

“What the fuck did you say?” Brayden demanded to know. 

“A bunny for my bunny,” Miro replied in English. He turned to Rory, “You like, Aurora?”

Brayden tried to rip the bunny from Rory’s arms, “You are not taking that from him. You are not.” He screamed in her face, “You are MY girlfriend- not his fucking bunny. Give it back to him.”

Miro stepped in between the two, “Back off.”

“Oh, look at who is back to his broken English again,” Brayden mocked. 

Rory yelled, “Stop it- stop it Brayden”

“Give her the bunny back and walk away Brayden. Don’t ever scream at her like that again,” Miro said firmly while he stared into the Texan’s eyes, “Is that English good enough for you?” He turned to Rory in Finnish, “Aurora, I think it’s time for us to go home. Do you want me to get an Uber to take us?” 

Rory looked back and forth between Brayden and Miro. She was going to disappoint one with any decision made. She thought quickly and blurted out, “Miro is going to take me home. You're drunk and if my dad sees it, he is going to be furious. Call me tomorrow when you are sober. We can talk then.” She looked at Miro and spoke in Finnish, “Get me out of here and away from him, Jäbä. I just want to go home.” 

Miro nodded and grabbed her hand before he responded in Finnish, “Yes, my bunny.”

December 31st, 2018

Three hours later, Miro called from the party at Tyler Seguin's house.

Miro: Aurora- are you coming?

Rory: No Jäbä- I am not. 

Miro: Why not? What happened?

Rory took a deep breath: Brayden broke up with me

Miro: He what?

Rory: He broke up with me- via text

Miro: Where are you?

Rory: Home

Miro: I am coming to you.

Miro hung up the phone before she could protest. He left the party without telling anyone and made it to the Lehtinen home in less than fifteen minutes. He unlocked the front door and walked into the house, “Aurora, it’s me Jäbä. I am home.” 

Rory called from the kitchen, "I am in here." He followed the sound of her voice and found her sitting at the island. A bottle of vodka sat in front of her. He glanced at her as she opened it and poured herself a drink. "Want one?" she asked dejectedly. 

“When will your parents be home?” he asked quietly. 

“It will be late. They are at the Morrow’s New Year’s Eve party,” she said quietly.

“Only one drink,” he cautioned, “Tell me what happened.” 

She slid her phone across the counter to him, “Read for yourself.”

“He cheating on you? With Maddie?” he looked up in surprise. 

“Yep,” she said sardonically, “My guess is that it’s been going for a while now. Lots of stuff makes sense now.” 

Miro studied her face. Her usual bubbly demeanor had been replaced with sadness. She took a long swig of her drink. Tears fell from her eyes as she spoke softly, “Papa was right about him. He was right all along.” Miro took a step toward her and she backed away. “I wanted so much to make it work. He was perfect from the outside.”

“Not perfect for you,” he tried to comfort her, “He treated you bad.”

“My stupid stubborness got me into this mess,” she cried, “I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I wanted to prove my papa wrong. I wanted to prove you wrong. I gave up my dream for someone who never really loved me- at least not in the way I loved him.” 

Miro reached over and took the glass from her hand. He walked over to the sink and poured the contents out. She watched him silently and without opposition. “Have you eaten?” he asked. She shook her head no. He nodded his head, “We order pizza and talk” Rory walked away as Miro used his phone to order pizza. He found her seating on the large sectional in the family room. She eyed him with curiosity as he sat on the opposite end. 

“Why are you here, Jäbä?” she finally asked, “Isn’t there a party at Seggy’s tonight?”

“You need a friend tonight,” he answered quickly.  

“Oh,” she replied, “Why do you want to be my friend, Jäbä? Why are being so nice to me?”

He looked up in surprise, “I am nice to you because you were nice to me. You help me learn English. Show me ropes.”

“Is it bad that I don’t feel sad about Brayden? Maybe that’s a sign, right?” she asked. 

“Good sign,” he answered, “Tell me about dream you gave up for him.”

“I was supposed to go to UT because their program for Sports Management is better than SMU. When he got waitlisted, I switched to stay with him,” she explained. “At UT, I could study abroad. I might even be able to study in Finland and work with Team Finland,” she smiled at the thought, “I know a couple of guys that would have put in a good word for me.” 

“It’s not too late,” Miro suggested, “You could still have your dream.”

Rory stared at him for a moment and considered the possibility. She felt a sense of excitement. She mentally went over what she would have to do to procure a transfer. Miro studied her as a smile spread across her face. “You’re right. I could still have my dream,” she said. She stood up and paced as she let her mind embrace the possibilities that awaited her. Suddenly she rushed over to Miro and squeezed him a tight hug. “Thank you Jäbä,” she whispered in his ear, “Thank you for being my friend.” 

“Thank you, Aurora, for being my friend,” he squeezed her back. 

March 2019

Rory stood in the kitchen and studied her phone. There was an email from the University of Texas admissions office. She tried to will herself open it. She had jumped through hoops to meet the deadlines for transfer. Now she awaited the answer and it sat in her email inbox. Miro walked into the house from the garage. She looked up at him with expectant eyes and he blinked back. Mentally he calculated the date and remembered that the answer should be arriving today. “Good answer?” he asked. He had a front row seat to all of the work that she had put into the transfer. Not only that, the hard work that she continued to do to maintain her 4.0 GPA at SMU. 

“It’s here, but I am afraid to open it,” she whispered. He walked over to look over her shoulder at her phone. 

“Open it, Aurora. I bet it is good news,” he encouraged. 

“I am scared, Jäbä,” she whined, “You do it.”

“You know my English shaky,” he joked as he took the phone. 

“You can read the important parts. Tell me,” she pleaded. 

He opened the email and skimmed the contents before a smile spread across his face. 

“Yes?” she asked quickly.

He nodded his head emphatically, “Yes! You start this fall.” 

Rory jumped up and down, “I got in? Jäbä, I really got in?” 

“You got in, Aurora,” he cheered. Suddenly Rory threw herself into his arms and he squeezed her tight. They spun around as they both reveled in her joy. He set her back down and she stared up into his eyes. Their hearts raced and they struggled to catch their breath. Rory felt herself drawn to him and before she knew it, they kissed. His hand cradled the back of her head as their mouths opened to each other and he tasted the flavor of her Burt’s Bee vanilla bean lip balm. He groaned softly as his tongue slid across her lips to taste her better. It was delicious and exhilarating at the same time. They were lost in the unexpected thrill of the kiss and didn’t hear her parents arrive home. Jere cleared his throat loudly. Rory and Miro pushed apart quickly. Rory looked from her father to Miro and back again. Her father stared at Miro who looked down in a combination of fear and embarrassment. An uncomfortable silence loomed in the air before Miro spoke. “Rory has news for you,” he said quickly. Rory stared at him for a moment. He never called her Rory. It was always Aurora. Her face pinched in surprise. He turned and walked out of the kitchen. 

She looked at her parents who studied her closely, “Ummm, I got into UT. I just got the news today. Jäbä read it to me.” Her father held out his arms and she ran into them. “Papa, are you happy?” she whispered, “Are you proud of me?”

“Always” he said proudly. He let her go so she could hug her mother, Jana. Afterward, they stood in awkward silence. “We should go out and celebrate. I will take you to your favorite restaurant,” her father suggested. “Go invite, Miro. He should come,” he added. 

Inside of his bedroom, Miro paced while his mind raced. He drifted back to the memory of their kiss. It felt right and natural although completely unexpected. He was unsure what it meant if anything. “She got in,” he said to himself. It’s not as if he expected her not to get in, but he had never considered the reality of when she got into UT. It was March now. At the latest the Stars season would conclude in June. That is only if they made the Stanley Cup Finals. After that, he would go back home to Finland. She would be in Austin when he returned. He thought of Brayden and how she had given up her dream for him. Would she do the same for him? Could he allow her to do the same?

 He was absorbed in thought when Rory knocked softly on Miro’s door, “Jäbä? Can I come in?” The door opened and he stood to the side. Her eyes searched for any sign of how Miro felt about the kiss, but his face revealed nothing. “My parents are taking me to dinner to celebrate. Do you want to come?” she asked tentatively. 

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he replied, “I think it should just be your family.”

She inhaled sharply, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he answered, “I won’t be home when you get back. I am going to go hang out with Big Rig.” He made a mental note to send a SOS text when Rory left. 

“Oh okay,” she mumbled and turned to go. 

“Aurora,” he called as she walked down the hall. She turned to look at him. “I am proud for you.

“Thanks,” she responded quietly.

Later that night

Miro entered the house quietly. The Lehtinens didn’t have very many rules for the young defenseman while he stayed in their house, but coming in at two AM would certainly be frowned upon. He had just returned from hanging out at Big Rig’s apartment where they had played video games for a few hours. He walked through the house and stopped suddenly when he saw Rory sitting at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey,” he said, “why are you up?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said quietly, “about earlier.”

“Oh,” he replied, “You mean the kiss?”

“Yeah,” she answered in Finnish, “Do you regret it?”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Regret? No, I don’t regret it,” he answered back in Finnish. He sat next to her on the stairs. She looked at him with questions in her eyes. He looked down and took a deep breath. He had been thinking all night of how to discuss what had happened. Even though he though he had a prepared answer, when he looked at her pretty face so full of hope and promise, all the words escaped him. There was the answer he WANTED to say and the answer he NEEDED to say. “Aurora, the kiss was amazing. I don’t regret it, but I don’t think it should happen again,” he said gently. The disappointment was written all over her face. “You gave up your dream for Brayden once. I can’t let you give your dream for me. I don’t think that we can work as anything other than friends. It’s not right,” he explained in Finnish. 

The pain of rejection stung Rory and she spit out quickly in Finnish, “Presumptuous of you to think I would give up my dream over a single kiss. You’re right. We are better off as friends. I am glad that we cleared that up.” She got up and started up the stairs. 

“Aurora,” he called quietly. 

She turned, “It’s fine, Miro. We’re friends. It’s all fine.” It was his turn to flinch at the sound of his name. Rory stormed up the stairs and slammed her door before throwing herself on the bed. Miro got up slowly and climbed the stairs. He paused outside of her door. The sound of her crying was barely audible and it killed him. “I’m sorry, Aurora, '' he whispered before returning to his room. 

May 7th, 2021- St. Louis

Rory stood in the hotel lobby waiting for the Stars players to return from the Enterprise Center. The Stars had been knocked out of the playoffs in a devastating loss in double overtime. She texted her father who confirmed that the team would return to the hotel that night instead of flying back to Dallas. Rory and Miro had seemingly recovered from the awkwardness of their kiss and his subsequent rejection of her. She focused on school and he focused on his play and the playoffs. There were still occasional hang-outs but the laughter didn’t flow as freely. Their shared times together were punctuated by awkward times of silence. Still she cared deeply for him and it had nearly broken her heart to watch him in the handshake line. 

There was a subtle buzz in the air when the team started walking into the lobby. Various Stars fans cheered while a group of Blues fans jeered. “Jäbä,” she called to Miro as passed her. He looked over and she gave a bright smile. He reluctantly walked to her and allowed her to hug him. She felt the tension in his body and released the hug. “You played so well,” she said enthusiastically. 

“We lost,” he said bluntly.

“I know. I am just trying to cheer you up, Jäbä” she replied. 

“Maybe I don’t want to be cheered up,” he chided.

“Are you mad at me? What have I done?” she said in surprise. 

“No, I just don’t want to be cheered. I want to be alone,” he blurted out. 

“Okay, Jäbä,” she said meekly, “I will see you tomorrow.”

He nodded and turned to the elevator. He made the long walk to his room and replayed the conversation in his mind. He had been exceptionally curt and rude to her attempt at support. “Stupid,” he thought, “She was just trying to be a good friend.” Miro walked into his room and stared at the bed. “Dammit,” he thought, “I don’t want to leave it like this.” He turned around and left the room. When he turned the corner to walk down the hall to Rorys’ room, he did a double take. Big Rig stood behind Rory as she opened her door. His hand was on the small of her back. When the door opened, Rory turned around and hugged him tightly. Miro blinked and turned and walked away. 

The next morning Miro ate his breakfast in silence next to Esa Lindell. Oleksiak walked into the room with a swagger that did not fit the mood of the rest of the team. Seggy looked up and joked, “Big Rig- why are you so happy? You know that we lost, right?”

 Oleksiak joked back, “We may have lost but I found someone to ease the pain.” Miro stopped mid-bite and stared at Big Rig. “Gotta love those blondes,” he joked, “They make everything better.” 

Esa Lindell glanced over at Miro, “You okay?”

Miro swallowed the bitterness and bile that rose in his throat, “Yeah, never better.”

January 2021

Jere signaled the DJ to lower the music. The Lehtinen family hosted an annual party at the beginning of the season which because of Covid had been delayed to January. Tonight's party served also as a quasi celebration for Rory who graduated in December. She was set to start her dream job in the Stars organization the next week.

Jere spoke into the microphone, “Hello. I want to take a moment to be a proud papa. Pupu, where are you? Come to me.” Rory groaned and sheepishly walked to her father. “Our Aurora completed her degree in Sports Management at the best school in the world. She finished her study abroad with Team Finland and will now start her new job working back at home. Her mother and I could not be more proud. Raise your glass and toast the smartest and most beautiful girl in the room.” She felt her cheeks flush with heat as the guests toasted her. She resisted the urge to look around for Miro to see his response. She was sure that she would find him standing next to a buxom blonde wearing next to nothing.

 If she had looked up, she would have seen him standing in the corner by himself, staring at her with a mix of regret and pride. He could not be more proud of the woman that she had grown into. She radiated intelligence and kindness. All of the things that drew him to her when they first became friends. He continued to stare in the hopes that she would make eye contact, but it didn’t happen. Instead his eyes fell upon the tall frame of Oleksiak and he remembered that night in St. Louis. It was the last night he had seen Rory face to face.

 After that night, he returned to the Lehtinen house, packed his things and took the first flight available back to Finland. Rory had texted and called several times, but he did return them. For all intents and purposes, he ghosted her. During the past two years, he had kept track of her activities via social media. There had been no serious boyfriends and she appeared to be thriving in Austin. He was unaware that she was doing the same. The multiple pictures of Miro with scantily clad women hanging all over him was a disappointment.

Rory circled the room and made all the appropriate small talk. Her stomach churned with the thought of running into Miro. They had not spoken in years, other than a brief "Good Luck" text exchange during the Stanley Cup Finals. A full year had passed since then and the confusion and rejection still felt as real and raw as that summer of 2019. After getting roped into a dreadful conversation with Tyler Seguin and his girlfriend, Rory went outside to get some fresh air. 

Despite it being January, the weather was mild and Rory took a deep breath. The familiar scent of Miro's cologne hit her nostrils and she spun around to see him leaning against the pergola. He laughed at her surprise and she shrieked in Finnish "What are you doing here?"

"I was invited by your father," he replied in perfect English. Miro scoffed, “I am surprised that you aren't huddled up to Big Rig.”

Rory eyed him suspiciously, “And why would I do that?” 

Miro looked down as the memory of Rory hugging Big Rig flashed in his mind’s eye. The accompanying pang in his heart and stomach felt entirely too familiar. “You did have that one night thing in St. Louis,” he whispered, “I figured that you kept in touch with him.”

Rory’s head twisted around, “We had what?”

“I saw him at your hotel room in St. Louis, Rory,” Miro said quietly. 

“And?” she questioned, “Do you know why he was at my hotel room? What do you think happened, Jäbä?” Miro’s head popped at the word Jäbä. She hadn’t called him that since they stopped talking in 2019. She stared into his green eyes and saw the pain. She bit her lip and contemplated the cause of it. “Jäbä, tell me what you think happened.”

“You slept with him. That’s what I think happened,” he bluntly answered. 

Rory gasped deeply, “Wait, is that why you started ignoring me? You pushed me away because you thought I slept with Big Rig?” He nodded his head and walked away. He stood on the edge of the pergola and looked over the manicured backyard. “I didn’t, by the way,” she added, “Even if I had, why didn’t you talk to me about it? You just quit talking to me based on an assumption. I was that disposable to you?”

He turned and looked over his shoulder, “What was I supposed to say, Rory?” he said with disgust, “Did you sleep with my liney? After everything we went through, you slept with him?” 

Rory stared at him and tried to process what was happening. A feeling of disbelief started which quickly transformed to anger. “Why would it matter if I slept with him, which I did not. We were friends. You threw away our friendship over an assumption?”

“It wasn’t an assumption! I saw what I saw,” Miro asserted before he realized that it, indeed, could have been an assumption. He flashed back and replayed the memory. Big Rig stood behind Rory as she opened her hotel room door, she turned around, they hugged and then he had turned away in disgust. He assumed that Big Rig had gone into the room based on his behavior the next morning. He could have been wrong is the thought that hit him like a two by four in the chest. “What was the reality then? Tell me what happened,” he inquired. 

Rory walked over and stood next to him. “You left me in the lobby after the game. I tried to talk to you about the game and you blew me off,” she started to explain. Miro grimaced at the reminder of his childish behavior. “Pretty soon I got surrounded by a group of drunk Blues fans who taunted me about the game,” she continued, “They yelled at me and one of them poured a can of beer on me.” His eyes flashed up at her revelation. “The next thing I remember is the sound of Big Rig’s voice booming ‘Get away from her. Move away from her.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the group. He led me to the elevator bank and made sure I was physically unharmed. He asked if I wanted him to do something about it, but I told him no. I just wanted to get to my room so that’s what he did. Nothing else happened.” She turned and he turned to face her. “I texted you when I got into my room but you never responded. I tried calling and texting but you disappeared into thin air. I needed my friend and you vanished like a ghost.” They stared at each other and reality began to sink into their minds. Rory waited for a response from Miro and was met with stunned silence. "Guess that English isn't so good after all," she sighed. She turned to walk away, “Have a nice life jäbä.”

He watched her walk away with a grimace on his face while he cursed himself in Finnish. Rory put her head down and walked toward the back set of stairs. She dwilled her eyes to contain the tears that threatened to overflow. Where had the sweet boy from Espoo gone? Where had her friend gone? “Hey-heads up Rory,“ she heard Oleksiak joke as he passed her in the hall. She looked up and was reminded of the stupid misunderstanding with Miro and the tenously grasp she had on her emotions released. Tears escaped from their containment and rolled down her face. “Hey, hey, hey- why are you crying, Rory?” Oleksiak asked softly, “This is your party too. What’s wrong?” 

She shook her head, “He thinks we slept together. He thinks we had a one night stand in Nashville,” she cried. 

“What?” Oleksiak gasped, “Who thinks that?”

“Miro- Miro thinks that,” she sobbed, “That’s why he pushed me away. That’s why he ghosted me.” Oleksiak stared at shoulders that shook with sadness and paused. His mind raced. To be honest, he hadn’t given much thought to why the pretty blonde had been missing from Dallas Stars events. He just assumed that she had been consumed by college life and the natural progression of distancing from her parents and their interests. He assumed that the relationship between the two had fizzled from the distance. His eyebrows furrowed. The news that he had somehow been involved surprised and troubled him. “You told him the truth, right?” Oleksiak asked gently. 

Rory nodded her head, “I told him but I am not sure that he believes me.”

“I’ll go talk to him. I will straighten it out, Rory,” he assured her. 

“Thanks, but I am not sure that there is a point. The Miro that I loved doesn’t exist anymore, I guess.” she said softly. Her eyes widened at the realization of what she had just admitted. Oleksiak pulled her into a tight side hug and she relaxed into his body. 

“Oh he exists, Rory. He puts on an act around a lot of people, but he still exists in there,” he reasoned. He released her from the side hug and bent down to look her in the eyes. “Don’t think that your relationship can’t be repaired,” he implored, “I think it can.”

Rory nodded her head and then gave a soft smile, “Thanks, Big Rig.” She turned and made her way upstairs to her bedroom. 

Oleksiak turned and returned to the party. He yelled, “Anyone seen Miro?” There was a collective no response. He turned and made his way outside. He found Heiskanen sitting on a bench under the pergola, staring at the ground. “Hey dude, I hear you might have some questions for me,” he stated bluntly. Miro looked up at the tall specimen of a man in confusion. “Something about a one night stand?” Oleksiak prodded. Miro groaned out loud. “What the hell, Miro?” Oleksiak asked, “You really thought I would make a move on your girl?”

Miro pressed his lips together, “You slept with someone that night. You bragged about it the next morning.” 

“Not sure if I would call it bragging, but fair point,” Big Rig. 

“So if it wasn’t Rory, who was it?” Miro asked. 

“Does it ever matter? It wasn’t your girl. That’s all you need to know,” he answered, “I have too much respect for Rory to refer to her a blonde. Come on, Miro.”

“She’s not my girl. She has never been my girl,” Miro protested. 

“Anyone with eyes can see how you feel about her or at least how you FELT about her,” the Canadian scolded the Finn. “We all saw how you were together. Considering that you are sitting here with your head hung down, I think that those feelings haven’t changed,” he continued. 

“It won’t work. She doesn’t like me like that,” Miro spoke softly, “At least not anymore. I managed to fuck that up.”

Oleksiak reached over and smacked Miro in the back of his head, “You’re an idiot if you can’t tell that she likes you as more than a friend.”

“Owwwww,” Miro exclaimed, “You didn’t have to hit me.”

“Somebody needs to knock some sense into you,” Oleksiak spoke firmly, “She’s right. You have changed. You are trying to pretend to be someone that you’re not.” 

“What do you mean?” Miro asked. 

“Look-I like Seggy and Chubbs, but you are not like them. You trying to be this “I don’t give a fuck” player off the ice and it just isn’t you.” Oleksiak answered directly. “Stop pretending to be someone that you are not. You play with all of these puckbunnies when you know in your heart that you are in love with Rory.”

Miro tried to protest and thought about Rory. The pain that he felt when he saw the hug could not be attributed to friendship. The constant longing to see her was unexplainable. It had been years since they had spent time together but he couldn’t get the sound of her laughter out of his head. He smiled when he thought about her smile and the funny jokes she told him. 

“What do I do?” Miro asked. 

“Go tell her. Go tell her the truth,” Oleksiak spoke bluntly. 

“Just like that?” Miro questioned. 

“Just like that or I am going to kick your ass in training camp,” Oleksiak joked. Miro got up and punched Big Rig in the arm. “Hey-watch the violence,’ he explained.

“Payback is a bitch, huh?” Miro said as he walked away. 

Miro walked up the backstairs and down the hall to Rory’s room. He knocked softly, “Aurora, it’s me-Jäbä.” He got no response, “Can I come in?” 

The door suddenly opened and she stood in front of him. “What do you want, Miro?” she sighed. 

“I want to explain. I want to tell you what happened,” he answered. 

She stood to the side and let him enter. He turned to her and she eyed him warily, “So talk.”

He looked at her and paused. Her physical beauty took his breath away. She was no longer the teenager that he fell in love with. She had grown and matured. Though he would have sworn it would be impossible, she had become even more beautiful. “Ummmm,” he stammered, “Ummmm, first I should say I am sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?” she challenged him. 

“Sorry for ghosting you,” he replied meekly, “I didn’t know what else to do.” She raised an eyebrow and he continued in Finnish, “I saw you in the hall at the hotel. You’re right. I made an assumption- a wrong assumption. I was just so- I don’t know- when I saw you with him.”

“You were what?” she prodded.

“Jealous!” he spoke quickly in Finnish. “I was out of my mind with jealousy. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t admit it after telling you what we should be friends. I couldn’t admit the the truth.” 

“What was the truth, Jäbä,” she yelped. 

“The truth was,” he paused and continued in Finnish, “The truth is that I love you and the thought of you being with him drove me crazy. I should have said something. I should have told you, but I was afraid. I was afraid I had blown it after our kiss.”

Rory’s jaw dropped, “What did you say?”

Miro looked her into her eyes, “I said that I love you, Aurora.” 

Her eyes filled with tears, “When- then or now?”

He stepped towards her and grabbed her hand. He intertwined his fingers into hers, “Both. I loved you from that moment in the kitchen. I loved you every moment that we spent together. I loved you then and I love you now.”

“Really?” she blushed but pulled his body to hers, “All that time?”

Miro slid his arms around her waist, “All that time.” 

“That’s good,” she spoke as her lips ghosted over his. “Because I love you too.” 

He brought her mouth to his and kissed her with passion. Rory spoke breathlessly, “Say it again.”

“I love you my bunny,” he moaned as he kissed her. 

“I love you my Jäbä,” she moaned in return.