#sums up Ellie very succinctly!

[scorpiongrassfield]

Hey, found your interactive fiction poll story thing just now. :3 It looks really interesting, so would you mind summarizing what's happened throughout it so far? I don't really have the time right now to read through all of the posts. ^^;

Thanks in advance!

Hi there! I can certainly do that for you, thank you for asking. I'll try to sum it up as succinctly as possible, since there's like 47k of story to get through 😅

The main character wakes up in a field of flowers with no memory. He leaves the field to explore a surreal wasteland that mostly consists of a wildfire stricken forest and a burned up cabin. The cabin gives him weird vibes, so he decides to explore the woods, which are creepy and feel like they're trying to eat him. The scenery shifts and he suddenly ends up in a car during the height of summer. That car belongs to a private detective named Pat, who is apparently the protagonist's boss and roommate. The two of them are working a case together, trying to figure out if a man named Theodore Ellis is responsible for a drowning that happened in the woods on his property.

The protagonist bounces back and forth between wasteland and summertime, looking for clues about his lost memory as well as the case, renaming himself 'Sylv' in the process. He also runs into a mysterious shadowy figure that helps him find a pair of glasses in the creek.

He meets Theodore at the local diner, and notes that he seems to be a nice person, if a little spacey. Pat sets up an interview with Theo under the guise of being paranormal investigators, so Theo won't know he's suspected of killing someone. While Pat is out of the room, Theo warns Sylv not to be caught alone, then acts like he never said anything.

In the car ride back to their motel, Pat tells Sylv about how they met, which causes Sylv to see a flashback of the incident from Pat's point of view. Pat found Sylv bleeding out on the side of the road, patched him up, and took him home. Sylv feels disoriented after this revelation.

Before the interview, Sylv gets into an argument with Pat and is told to stay in the car, and read up on Pat's notes on the case. He instead shifts back into the wasteland, standing in front of the Cabin that is Theo's home in the other space. He still gets a bad feeling about it, but is forced to go inside after he is attacked by a woman in a burgundy dress.

Sylv manages to hear Pat's interview with Theo as he explores the wasteland version of the cabin, which is architecturally very strange. He runs into the shadow again, who makes him a cup of tea. He finds a bedroom, where he returns the pair of glasses he found earlier. He discovers some significant portraits. One of the woman who attacked him as the queen of swords, one of the shadow as the magician, and one of Theo as the hanged man, reversed. When he tries to right the portrait, it animates to ask him not to, because he "isn't ready yet".

Through listening in on the interview Sylv learns:

There's no record of theo's family having a son

The person that died's legal name was Dorothy Ellis

Theo often got into fights with one of his sisters

Theo has little knowledge about the drowning

The police never suspected Theo of drowning anyone

Theo's family paid off the police to hush up the case and close it as an accident

Theo was with his sister the night of the drowning

When they run into Theo the next day, he has no memory of the interview. Pat lies about having a sister to get more information out of Theo about his sister. Theo is acting increasingly spacey, while Pat acts like they know exactly what's going on but refuse to tell Sylv. During this conversation Sylv reveals he was attacked, which upsets Pat.

While Pat steps out to smoke, Theo once again gives Sylv a warning. This time Sylv registers that Theo seems to be possessed. The possession ends when Pat returns.

Pat reveals that they are familiar with the woman that attacked Sylv. She's an exorcist named Ametrine. She gets rid of ghosts no matter how peaceful they are, and is willing to hurt living people to do so if need be. Pat speculates that she's after Sylv because of his shadow friend.

Theo goes home to feed his cat, and Pat offers Sylv more information on the case. And ghosts. He learns:

More details on the drowning, that it may have been an accident, but someone pushed the person and eft without helping them

The cabin has been in Theo's family since it was built, with no record of fire or death

Theo's sister isn't very nice, particularly to him

About the different types of ghosts, and that if you force a ghost to acknowledge their death, they will relive it in detail

It's possible that the wasteland is a world that exists inside Sylv's soul. Ametrine can access people's souls for exorcism, and ghosts like the shadow can also enter as well. Things that happen in such a world do have effects on reality.

Sylv ends up in the wasteland cabin as soon as he finishes reading. He discovers a portrait of Pat in the style of the death tarot card. Then he leaves the cabin to explore the wasteland woods again.

The woods have healed quite a bit from their original desolation. While he explores, Sylv finds Theo's phone in the creek.

He returns to the non-wasteland, and decides to return Theo's phone right away. Pat asks Sylv to pick up pizza in exchange for borrowing the car. Sylv has a panic attack when he tries to order the pizza.

Sylv spends the day with Theo, getting to know him and playing video games with him.

Theo shows Sylv his artist's studio in the basement of the cabin. It becomes clear that the portraits were in Theo's style. He has no memory of painting them, and has been having memory problems lately.

Theo explains the symbolism of some of the portraits, but is unable to talk about his own portrait. Sylv shares some of his own painful past, what little he knows of it. Doing so causes blood to appear where his stab wounds used to be, but he is not actively bleeding.

Theo still doesn't want to talk about himself any more, but Sylv presses the issue, leading to Theo expressing knowledge of what happened at the creek for the first time, and saying that he thinks it's his fault. Sylv coaxes him into talking about it more, but when Theo starts to show signs of drowning on dry land, he backs off.

Sylv starts to wonder if maybe Theo could possibly be a ghost, since he exhibits the symptoms.

Theo leaves, showing no indication that he remembers almost drowning.

Sylv heads back to the motel, where Pat offers to answer any question he has as an apology for asking him to do something they knew would cause him to have a panic attack. Since Pat enjoys being cryptic and withholding information, this is a huge boon.

And we're currently on the poll to decide what questions Sylv will ask.

Sorry this is still kind of long there was a lot to cover. Feel free to reach out with any additional questions!

[thereisnoblogniche]

The Last of Us (2023)

I have no outlet to talk about this. I need to express my thoughts somewhere. I just finished episode 7 today. i don't expect or necessarily want anyone to read this but if you are bored please don't expect this to make sense. i'm very tired and i feel myself nodding off as i type longer and longer (i'm writing this part last). I took some cold medicine and I am certain that is not helping. just a disclaimer for if you do read because it's all over the place and it's not pretty. very vulnerable and ugly look at myself.

"it's okay baby girl. I've got you." That line single-handedly destroyed me. Okay, that's not fair. It's what made me break down into the visceral, uncontrollable sobs that I couldn't contain or hide anymore. But it was far from working alone.

what an emotional, intense, wild ride. The show has been fantastic up to this point. I've had so many intimate moments with the characters. I've learned about them. Gotten to know them. Watched many of them die--fairly or not. It's not a fair world after the world ends. it may not be kind or gentle or morally good, but it's justifiable, if not just understandable.

The show is well-made, well-cast, well-acted, well-edited, well-done all over. But I feel gutwrenched. Sad. I don't want it to end. I haven't had enough time. I need more episodes. Why aren't they longer? Why aren't there 13? Why not have a whole second season dedicated to more of Ellie and Joel's relationship? I'm not ready for this to be over. I am just not.

I don't know how to succinctly or even long-windedly explain how I feel about this episode. All I feel is just empty and depressed. Just depleted. I am very affected by fictional media and find myself so wrapped up in the characters and story, you'd think I went through it and experienced it all myself.

I can't put it into words. I keep sitting here and trying. Yes, watching Joel and Ellie go from a transactional relationship to choosing to save one another over and over is beautiful. Yes, watching Joel open up and Ellie learn to survive are two things that I cannot do justice to by simply summing them up in a sentence as great character arcs. Yes, the stories, the dialogue, the action, the twists, the turns, the devastation--it's all a masterclass in video game adaptations. but there's more to it for me. Another level I can't quite articulate but I'll try.

I don't want to live through the apocalypse. I certainly don't want to live to see a fungal pandemic. BUT I think there's a part of me that wants to be saved.

There's a part of me who is Ellie. Who is tough and fierce and a survivor. But who just wants to be wrapped up in the arms of someone who chooses me. Joel grabbing her and hugging her at the end of the episode wasn't because he just saved her from the bad guys. She saved herself. He is no longer obligated to her. But he wants to be there for her. He comforts her all the same. He is still there for her in the aftermath, happy to be reunited with her. Relieved. Thankful. Maybe I'm not like ellie. Because I feel like I do need rescuing. I can't do it by myself. I'm tired. I'm weak. I need help. I do want to be held. I want to be protected. I want to be saved from the bad guys. Dont' give me the gun. Put me on the horse, give me your extra coat, defend me with your life. Actually, Ellie does that for Joel in this episode. She protects him and fights for him. What an amazing person.

It's something that's tugged at me since the show started. The idea of being saved. Being protected. Specifically by someone as ruthless and hardened and not so likeable as Joel. But he's someone who is hardened for a reason. Someone who is guarded for a reason. i respect it, I admire it. I fear it. I wouldn't dare try to crack that nut. No I am nothing like ellie. she is fearless (on the outside). she doesn't care. i could never. I care too much.

And she does too. She cares. She risked her life to save Joel instead of running away. She went through hell and back and survived to meet him on the other side. I could never. I would have been hoping and praying to a god I don't believe in to please save Joel in time so he could wake up and protect me.

Please protect me.

I need someone strong, someone too closed off, someone who is a bit of an asshole--warranted or not--likeable or not. And no I didn't like him for awhile. I didn't hate him. I just saw him the way I saw a lot of people in the post-pandemic world. Just people trying to survive I guess. they have their reasons.

But as time went on, I still found myself thinking, yeah, wow, that's the guy I would want in my corner. Tough and cold and unloving as he might seem. You know he wouldn't hesitate to protect you. And then to see him soften up and grow fond of ellie, in his own way, and then outright hug her and hold her and show her affection. I felt myself in that moment become ellie. that's what I mean when I say i am like her I think. I became her in that moment. Small, vulnerable, scared, horrified, traumatized, relieved, in need of a friend.

what do I need to do to find me a joel? that's not fucking healthy. I don't want an emotionally unavailable 56 year old. that's some therapy material. though it doesn't hurt that he is very attractive somehow (I say that like the whole world wasn't simping after him). but I found it to be more than that. there's something about this character specifically--because I didn't think he was all that attractive before. now I get it. there's definitely some psychological bullshit to explain why I feel so attracted to this, not just sexually, but like on a mental and emotional plane. I feel so validated by this arc and I ache so badly to feel it resolved in my life. i don't know how to explain that or appropriately express it.

i want to live vicariously and feel protected by a grumpy guy who learns to love me. that's toxic af but it's how i feel and i have had some uncomfortable feelings unlocked. all the girls with daddy issues be like,.. hahah hahahah just kidding. or am i?

just please love me. please love me. please love me. take care of me. even if you hate me or can't stand me or don't understand why i am under your protection. please save me.

i wish i were like ellie. she is way more self-assured and confident than i am. yes she is scared and insecure in some ways. she's human. but she isn't scared and insecure in the ways that i am.

boy this show has me fucked up. this fictional piece of media. fuck you HBO and naughty dog. I wish i never saw it

[storyknitter]

OCs as poisonous flowers

I stole the open tag from @elveny and took this quiz here for Sanna and Ellie

Vassanna -- Lily of the Valley

This is the poison of giving too much. You feel yourself emptying out, dizzying, discoloring-- until you fear you will fade entirely and wither away. You have always had to give. You never had a choice before. They pluck your flowers for their beauty, they trample your leaves carelessly, they pull out your roots by the fistful and berate you for daring to grow. And now that you have a grove to spread out in, your rhizomes tangle and curl in on themselves. When cruelty is all you've ever known, thriving seems impossible. But the answer is not to make yourself small and offer every lovely thing you are to the world in the hopes it will have mercy on you. The answer is to let yourself dare to thrive for thriving's sake, to grow in the wild ways you wish to-- and to do that for yourself for once.

Eli’anara -- Belladonna

This is the poison of falling in love. You taste it and your heart beats fast. Your eyes dilate, you fall into deep delirium. You may be a bit dramatic and impulsive, and it gets you into trouble sometimes, but you just can't help yourself. It's in your blood. You love because it is the truest beauty you've found in this harsh world. Even when it's hurt you before, when it's poisoned you, you still find a way. They may call you naive for still believing in it, or vain for making yourself and your surroundings so meticulously lovely. But to love like this is brave and noble, and I hope you find the beauty you seek. Chances are, it's within and all around you already, if you know where to look.

Open tagging anyone who wants to do this!