#surviving a romance fantasy novel for dummies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleep-drunk-kitten · 4 months

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𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

pairing: enhypen x fem!reader

genre: crack, fluff, isekai!au, royalty!au

content warnings: slight allusion to suicidal thoughts, swearing, reader is anxious about the possibility of being killed

summary: after dying in a freak accident involving a suspiciously familiar white and blue truck, y/n wakes to find herself in the body of a petty side villain from a romance fantasy novel, doomed to die at the hands of her own fiance.

notes: I'm terrible at summaries but the girlies who get it get it!! This short series is going to be a very lighthearted parody of your typical romance isekai manhwa🤭with all the usual shenanigans and tropes that typically follow! I hope you all enjoy~

I will be making a taglist for this fic, so if you're interested in being added please either drop an ask or let me know in the comments

Everything after the cut IS proofread for once, but please feel free to let me know if any typos slipped through the cracks!

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“Let's go over this one more time,” you say, pacing back and forth, shivering as your feet press into cold marble.

“You said that five rehashes ago babe,” your best friend whines, head lolling over the side of your bed, “I think we get the plot, a bunch of Very Hot men all want you dead because you're sexy and you don't get along with their needy pick me girlfriend.”

“That- well I mean yeah,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, “but that's not the point, Sun, the point is that we need to figure out how to make sure I, y'know, don't fucking die?!”

Sunoo groans, his silky black pyjamas blending into your tangled sheets so they cascade around him in an inky puddle when he slides closer to the floor. “The Princess was a bitch, a mean grumpy little thot, just don't be a hoe, avoid the Hot Men, and you should be fine- yah! What's with the face!-”

Expression pressed somewhere between exasperation and disgust, you shake your head at him.

“You've clearly never read an isekai manhwa, you can’t just run away from the plot, it holds onto you like a clingy stalker ex… sometimes as a clingy stalker ex.”

“So? Just… stick with plan Don’t Be A Thot?” he pauses for a moment before a shit eating grin spreads across his face, and you preemptively snag a pillow off the loveseat beside you. “It'll be hard to pretend to be something you're not but I'm sure you can do it!”

And there it is.

With well-practised precision, the embroidered cushion lands squarely in his face.

“This is my life on the line here Kim Sunoo! Could you take it seriously for just two seconds?”

Against your will, your eyes begin to sting with tears, limbs already growing restless in the few moments you've been standing still, fatigue and fear battling under your skin.

You hadn't slept peacefully in over three weeks. Your mind refusing to shut down of its own volition since you'd woken up in the room you now paced in, in the body you now paced in.

For the first four days, you were insane.

Screaming and pleading with a man who claimed to be your father, confused by the sorrow in his eyes and the tenderness in his hands as he prevented you from leaving your room.

Babbling through tears to the maids who filtered in and out, telling them that the title they were calling you by was not your own.

Curled into a corner of a closet, trying and failing to steady your breathing as you slowly came to terms with the fact that this was really happening.

You'd been truck-kun-ed clean out of the life you'd known.

Despair followed.

Hopeless, hollow grief when you realised what your name in this particular world might mean.

Princess y/n l/n.

Spoiled and arrogant daughter of the Duke.

A side villain of little significance set to die for the sake of the female lead.

Set to die.

You'd laughed when it hit you. The one thing you'd wanted more than anything in your previous life was being handed to you on a silver platter. How fortuitous.

It wasn’t until the eighth day, when you'd resigned yourself to your fate, that Sunoo came crashing through the large oak doors that were usually locked to keep you in, raised voices and a stamped of footsteps following behind him.

“SHE'S MY FRIEND I CAN SEE HER WHENEVER THE HELL I WANT,” he’d shouted.

Slamming your doors shut as he turned to face you.

He was the one who'd been running, face flushed, chest rising and falling rapidly. But it felt like you were the one catching your breath, heart pounding in your ears.

“Sunoo?...” his name was barely a whisper on your lips.

“(y/n),” relief flooded his features, “you're here.”

He stumbled towards you, pulling you into his chest, body shaking as he held you so tight you could barely breathe.

“You're here you're here you're here-” he babbled, tears soaking through your clothes.

It took a long time to console him, and longer still for you to believe that he was there, puffy face squished between your shaking hands.

You remembered he'd been walking with you when the accident happened, his smiling face frozen in time when the headlights rushed closer. But you'd thought he survived. You didn't imagine for a second that he'd somehow landed in the same world as you.

That he'd be just as annoying in this world as he was in the last.

“Okay okay, I'm sorry,” he says in the present, standing and dragging your blankets with him, “I was trying to lighten things up, you've been stressing about this too much, I’m worried.”

And when he waddles next to you and wraps you in a hug, you know you wouldn't trade his annoying ass for anything. Sunoo was the reason you were trying to find a way to survive this in the first place. Without him, you knew you would've probably gone with the flow of the story, allowing the gallows to take you.

“I'm not stressing.”

“Sweetie, you have a whole conspiracy theory board pinned into what I think is a very valuable painting of your grandfather.”

“Touchè.”

You both turn to look at said board, a mess of string and poorly sketched portraits pinned to a painting of a grumpy looking old man on a white horse. “Remind me again who's who, I think I have the gay prince mixed up with the emo soldier boy.”

You smile, rolling your eyes, knowing full well he has no trouble remembering the character’s you’d told him about at least a dozen times.

“This one,” you say, pointing to an angular stick figure with a crown surrounded by sparkles, “is the crown prince who I'm engaged to because of fuckin’ course.”

Sunoo nods, “Of fuckin’ course.”

“The buff one is the knight I hire to kidnap the female lead when I think his royal highness has a thing for her, except knightey over here has a conscience and thinks the female lead is too pure and sweet to kidnap or whatever and ends up vowing to protect her or something.”

“You'd think someone with a conscience would have the decency to do a job if they had the audacity to take money for it, I mean he had no issue kidnapping a chick before he had the hots for her, that's kinda gross.”

“When you put it like that… anyway, the last two are a priest who wants her for her divine powers blah blah blah and the crown prince's illegitimate little brother.”

“His brother?”

“Yeaaa…”

“There’s other fish in the sea my man…” he says, giving the second crowned stick figure a sympathetic little pat. “So of the lot, who's the biggest threat?”

“My fiance…”

“No matter what we decide to do, you gotta dump the guy right?”

“Yes,” you say, confidence creeping into your voice. “There are a lot of variables, I've read enough of these things to know that 90% of the time they get kinda weird about their fiances when they dump them, but it's gotta be done.”

“Then we start there, the rest of this nonsense can't be figured out till it happens.”

He waves a hand at the other coloured threads linking squares of paper with possible outcomes and scenarios scribbled over them.

“That's true…” you breathe, brows furrowed, eyes darting across the board.

Sunoo’s lips curl into a slight pout when he sees you slipping back into the agitated state he’d been trying to coax you out of for the past fortnight. If he were being completely honest with you, he doesn’t believe in all this isekai nonsense, sure that if you simply avoid the plot you could easily live out your lives as a wealthy nobles without much trouble, but he knows that there isn’t much point in arguing with you. No, the best way to look out for you would be to support you as he’d always done, to have your back in this world the same way he had in the last, even if he thought you were being ridiculous.

With a sigh, Sunoo presses a thumb into the crease between your eyes, distracting you from the painting of your grandfather, holding back a smile at the way your nose scrunches in annoyance.

“Stop worrying,” he says, smoothing over the spot a few times before planting a kiss on your forehead, “whatever happens, we'll handle it together, okay?”

“...Okay,” you breathe, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, arms encircling your waist, the warm pressure of his presence surrounding you comforting. The one constant that had followed you into this life. “Plus, we’re early, aren’t we? The plot of your novel doesn’t start for…”

“Another year,” you sigh, “It all starts in their second year at the royal academy, when the female lead shows up as a transfer from the land they were at war with till a while ago… a show of peace or something once it’s all over.”

“We have time… you’ll be just fine babe, he says. “Plus, you keep worrying about them killing you, but don't they always end up falling in love with the dimension yeeted villainess in those comics?”

You scoff, pulling away. “I highly doubt that's possible Sunoo, I'm not the main villainess, I'm just a random side character.”

“A gorgeous, quick witted, adorable little random side character with an amazing sense of humour and such a big brain that she chooses to use for the dumbest things-”

“Sunoo!” you laugh, plucking another cushion off your couch to throw at him.

There was absolutely no way.

…

Right?

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mfred · 2 years

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🌟Mfred's Best Books of 2022🌟

Comfort Me with Apples by Cathrynne M. Valente

Original Review

It’s a fairy tale retold, a myth re-examined. It’s a mystery, a thriller, and a horror story. But it’s so much more, too. I was mesmerized - trying to understand what was going on, then understanding too much, with a dawning sense of horror at how it would all end.

The Duke with the Dragon Tattoo by Kerrigan Byrne

Original Review

This book put me through the wringer, you guys. I came out the other end definitely dehydrated from crying so much, but also filled to the brim with love and life.

Even Though I Knew the End by CL Polk

Sapphic. Urban Fantasy. Noir. Do I need to say more? OK, I will anyway! Chicago in the winter. Dames smoking Chesterfields and hunting serial killers. Underground queer nightclubs. And magic! And a swoony romance!

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Original Review

Don’t be fooled, Benji is really turning into a monster. White pulls no punches. Bloody, gruesome, and terrifying. It’s so queer, so righteously angry, so necessarily vengeful. But it also holds a place for the tenderness and hope we all need to truly survive.

Thirteens by Kate Alice Marshall

A spooky and super creepy Halloween read, especially for a children’s book! Plus, the power of friendship, loyalty, and believing in yourself.

The Mind and the Moon: My Brother's Story, the Science of Our Brains, and the Search for Our Psyches by Daniel Bergner

Challenges the science behind mental illness and standard pharmaceutical treatments. At once eye-opening, engrossing, and also emotional.

A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow

Lucky you! If you didn’t read the first in this series, you now get to read both amazing books! This time we see what happens when the Evil Queen wants a better ending to her story. And also what it means to survive a happy ending.

My Killer Vacation by Tessa Bailey

Original Review

I loved Myles. I loved his struggle. Every time Taylor did or said something, his heart clenched or he got sweaty or he desperately wanted to kiss her. He’s big, he’s tattooed, he’s unshaven and rides a motorcycle and he is a total dummy about his emotions. It’s great.

Paper Girls, Vols 1-6 by Brian K. Vaughn, Cliff Chiang, Matt Wilson, & Jared K. Fletcher

Friendship! Time travel! The 1980s! A war between teenagers vs. grownups! This graphic novel series has it all. And the artwork is amazing.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen

Ok, how do you feel about The Bachelor? Cryptids? Horrifically funny violence? This book is so weird and also so, so amazing.

Runaway Girl by Tessa Bailey

A poor little rich girl who really isn’t and a bear of a man dealing with unimaginable loss. Slow burn but awesome tension and chemistry throughout. Plus, the emotional wallop of falling in love. Everything good about romance novels.

Such Sharp Teeth by Rachel Harrison

Original Review

Amazing. A novel about anger, trauma, families, romance, trusting others, and werewolves. It really takes a good, hard look at why and when and how and how often we get angry– and how we treat others and ourselves when we rage. The werewolf metaphor is grrrreat (see what I did there?) for examining what it means to be an angry woman, in/out of control.

We Keep the Dead Close: A Murder at Harvard and a Half Century of Silence by Becky Cooper

Original Review

It took me almost two months to finish this book. But it wasn’t boring or slow. In fact, for such a lengthy book, it’s a real page turner. And it’s a fascinating blend of true crime, non fiction and memoir– how Cooper finds her own voice in the story of Jane Britton’s murder.

#best of 2022 #best books of 2022 #hell followed with us #comfort me with apples #such sharp teeth #thirteens #my killer vacation #runaway girl #patricia wants to cuddle #paper girls #a mirror mended #the mind and the moon #the duke with the dragon tattoo #we keep the dead close #book reviews #even though I knew the end

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