#sydeny adamu

[pomribs]

the second ones kinda messy i hope it makes sense to someone other than me

[braedenhales]

THE BEAR "SYSTEM" [1x01]

[namorian]

Thinking about the parallels between Sydney in 1x7/Review pestering Carmy with questions about if they’re okay or not even when it’s blaringly obvious that they’re too busy to have this convo rn and to the point he finally blows up on her because she’s so anxious over it she NEEDS to know NOW if their relationship is still okay and Natalie in 2x6/Fishes explicitly being told not to ask Donna if she’s okay because they all know it sets her off and even NATALIE knows it but her anxiety and own emotional shit demands she do it, even when it’s blaringly obvious that Donna is spiraling and this WILL make her go nuclear, of course Natalie asks and of course Donna explodes

[yannaryartside]

Sydney Adamu; Donna's antithesis

THE BIG PARALLEL: THE QUEEN OF THE KITCHEN

Donna's introduction to the audience is in her kitchen, where she is the leader, the center of the action; all orders come from her, and the dynamic in the family is created primarily by her. She has assigned (indirectly or so) the roles of all the family members that keep the family working in the way it does. She is the queen, the leader—a role she was given by nature.

And what is Sydney's job in the kitchen? The CDC, even when she was a sous, she was already taking the responsibilities of the CDC. She is their queen, their leader in their kitchen—a role she was given by choice.

The writers had given Sydney every opportunity to be Donna so they could show us how much of Donna she is not. Here are my favorite examples of it. 

Donna brings guilt, and Sydney brings grace.

Donna created her daughter's nickname after a mistake she made as a kid (probably when Nat was nervous and afraid to fail her), messing up a recipe.

Sydney gave grace to Tina when she messed up the recipe for the mashed potatoes. Sydney could have used that opportunity to get back at Tina for making her look bad in front of Carmy and all the other stuff. Sydney decided to be the bigger person; God, Sydney was not trying to make Tina own or like her. She just decided that is not what she is. She acknowledged that Tina was trying something new and wanted to be available in case Tina needed help. Sydney gave Tina clear expectations, recognized the task's difficulty, and offered help. Later, she was graceful when a mistake was made, and gave positive reinforcement when the job was well done. We learned then that Tinas was terribly afraid of being displaced or not good enough. Sydney is giving Tina all the things Donna should have given Nat.

Another exmaple of this is when Richie and Sydney are shopping for caulk. She just buys the right one; she doesn't rub it in his face or call him stupid or careless. In all their conversation, Sydney tried to understand more, not put more fire into the pile. Richie recognizes that, and I think this is when he starts to respect her, even a little.  

Donna brings chaos, Sydney brings order. 

Both women have the role of being the center (heart) of the kitchen. Only Donna can touch the food in her kitchen, while Sydney delegates the kitchen tasks to the restaurant employees.  

Donna gives the absence of self, and Sydney brings purpose. 

To please their mother, try to win her love, or just survive the household dynamics, the Berzatto siblings had to adopt behaviors/personalities that were not natural to them. Mickey was at least 18 when his father left; he took the provider position by helping her mom run the restaurant. He also took care of his siblings. He was his ultimate ally in helping the family feel like a family, particularly by always being capable of "dialing a room" to make everyone feel entertained, appreciated, have fun, and be a family. For all these reasons, he was Donna's favorite, and the other two siblings were neglected because of it. Neither Nat of Carmy felt really like she was there for them; she probably didn't encourage Carmy to draw or Nat in anything. Nat and Carmy grew up believing their talents/nature were useless because they didn't please their mom. Neither of them recognizes the things they are good at outside the kitchen: Nat diminishes her husband's compliments on her hard work, and Carmy ignores compliments on his drawings. 

Sydney, on the other hand, can encourage Marcus to follow his passion for baking. She supports Tina in her culinary journey to the point of her becoming the third person in charge. She asked Nat to be the project manager because, in the few interactions she had with her, she perceived (or it was intuition) Nat's attention to detail, caring nature, and responsibility. In the climax of the second season, she trusts Richie to do the calling of the orders when she has no reason to believe he can, and he solidifies his purpose. Sydney "nurtured" everybody's natural talents and trusted them to walk independently. That is what a good parent or leader does. It is such a brilliant subtext. Important to note she doesn't do that with Carmy, because Carmy is her equal, her partner-to-be.

Other ones:

There is also to mention the fact that Sydney was a professional driver, and Donna tried to crash a car in her own house. Talking about metaphors. 

Also, Sydney doesn't indulge in any of the toxic behaviors that the Berzattos learned from Donna, neither Carmy nor Richie's bullshit nor the rest of the staff. Little by little, she fought fire with water, and she won, maybe because she is more like a river than a drop. She had a purpose on her own, an identity, a past that she kept to herself, and a desire to move forward. People started to respect her the more they relied on her and the more she didn't give in to the toxic traits that were ruling them before. They saw the good and followed it.

Sydney may not rely on toxic dynamics to lead her kitchen, but she will not let others take advantage of her. She did not pick on Carmy's slack last season for him but despite him. She doesn't believe that is what she is supposed to do, not only as her employee but friend and possible romantic interest. She calls the bad behaviors/tendencies by it's name. And communicates she won't have it, while also saying she belives in him.

I think most of the audience (besides the ones in this fandom) really doesn't understand how extraordinary Sydney is. If she wasn't as well-written as she is, with defects and fears, people would think that she is the "saint woman/magic woman" archetype, making everything previously broken work in her presence. I also think it is because she is a woman, and women are expected to bring magic and be fixers and helpers. There is also the fact that she is a black woman, and everything that comes with that, but I cannot comment on that, so I am not going to. Just saying she is one of the most amazing role models I have seen, decorated with the price of also being one of the most complex female characters on screen. She is not perfect as a person and has not reached her whole potential, and she wants it. I respect and admire her so much. Even when Carmy seems to have a longer path of healing ahead, I want Sydney to win the most, not just heal. I want to know more about her, her intimate desires, and why is her heart broken. Long gone are the days when women lived on screen to make everybody around them better and happier. All the things she is extraordinary for, the ones I talked about, are not just reasons why Carmy had admired her or fallen for her. She is, for me, a champion preparing for live-defining battles. We know who she is, and we get to discover what else she could be, to grow in her self-confidence, her purpose, and what brings pleasure to her soul. She is considered now the show's co-protagonist.

And I hope in s3 we are in for a journey. She made all the difference. Thank you for reading.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

So...

This isn't a Molly hate train by any means, based on a reddit post, in a recent interview that Molly said:

True intimacy for Carmy is just staring at a woman, really just deep connection like that and I loved to be a part of something like that where it wasn't some sexy naked thing, it was just looking into each other's eyes.

Um Molly, are you in on this ship too??

I also feel like Carmy really loves staring at Syds profile. He probably has so many drawings with Syd positioned that way.

[darkostudios-blog]

INSPIRATION

Sydney adamu edit to charcoal baby by blood orange

[thegreatimpersonator]

Hi everyone! Here’s the newest addition to my Creator Shoutout Series (june 23 - june 30)! I want to appreciate editors and their creations that i love from the past two weeks. To track this series or look at previous shoutouts, please check out the tag on my blog *creatorshoutouts.

the bear: sydney and carmy gifset by @orangesyellow

schitt's creek: david and patrick gifset by @kahhorri

chappell roan: good luck babe graphic by @bymine

severance: mark scout gifset by @lousolversons

the bear: season 2 gifset by @olyphant-tim

barbarian: kevin gifset by @madalainepetsch

conn gray fan art by @gwcnstcy

the bear: 1.01 x 3.01 gifset by @userparamore

chappell roan + looks gifset by @phoebesbridgers

megan thee stallion: as hatsune miku for prime day gifset by @venka

the bear: 3.01 gifset by @pedro-pascal

chappell roan: hot to go graphic by @andtosaturn

the bear: carmen berzatto gifset by @emziess

brooklyn nine nine gifset by @charliexspring

the bear: season 3 titles gifset by @animusrox

renee rapp gifset by @chappelroan

chappell roan: the midwest princess tour graphic by @forestsandsandss

the bear: sydeny adamu in 3.01 gifset by @ewans-mitchell

chappell roan gifset by @kitconnor

gracie abrams: felt good about you edit by @ishouldhateyou

the bear: 3.01 gifset by @thesoldiersminute

devil wears prada: miranda priestley gifset by @emmameyers

chappell roan: hot to go graphic by @cellphonehippie

the bear: sydney adamu in season 3 gifset by @simoneashley

criminal minds: spencer reid in season one gifset by @neverstheless

gracie abrams: i knew it i know you graphic by @georgesezra

chappell roan: performance outfits gifset by @nataliescatorccio

pride and prejudice + facts gifset by @prideandprejudice

the bear: 3.01 gifset by @diazly

yellowjackets: taissa turner + foreshadowing gifset by @taiturner

[sydneysadamu]

Do you uh, want me to come in tomorrow? Please, yes. You’re hired.

+bonus

[yannaryartside]

Michael and Sydney: let yourself be

I just had this thought; I hope I can make sense of it. I want to talk about the show"s themes on what allows people to be themselves, pursue their dreams, and defend their identity, particularly amid toxic and abusive elements (family, industry, surroundings).

Long post under the cut, a yappy, unorganized meta. tw discussions of depression and addiction.

If you had to go on personality alone, what character would you say is the opposite of Michael? Michael was an outgoing guy who would command the attention of a room, making sure to read everyone and dial all situations. You may think Carmy is his opposite (we will talk about him later).

But in reality, the character who is shown to struggle with social situations the most throughout the whole show is Sydney.

Sydney has struggled with her leadership skills (commanding a room) and her ability to dial social situations (hiring new staff, dealing with the berzatto antics) for 3 seasons now.

And I think that is pretty interesting. These characters were constructed in a certain way, and there may be an extra theme in the background here: the audacity to be real to the world and to yourself.

Michael spent most of his life pretending to be a version of himself that could carry out his role in the family. He was the glue that kept the family feeling like family, making gatherings enjoyable, minimizing Donna's faults, and bringing everyone together. Is it possible that Michael never had a chance to show his real feelings growing up, and that is likely the reason he learned to use drugs to manage his emotions and hide his depression (because living a lie 24/7 has a toll on the heart).

He had a genuine talent with people (the same one Richie has), but he slaved himself into the role of "glue of the family," preserving the toxic systems around him and, more importantly, never recognizing how that dynamic had hurt him so much. He never gave himself a chance to dream his own dreams, maybe because he was afraid of being nothing without the role he had been fulfilling for so long. In that family restaurant, the one his father left behind, the same way he left him behind, the restaurant he desperately wanted to keep his siblings out of. He was protecting them, and he was also hiding.

(pause to cry, I love Michael so much)

Sydney is a person who is always herself; she has her heart on her sleeve and shows who she is and what she cares about constantly despite being brought down over and over again. Despite how much it hurts her, she doesn't want do do things in a way that is contrary to her nature and values. When presented with the toxicity of the kitchen (that Michael used to run and that Carmy made even worse), she battles fire with little drops of water (patience and firmness) that build up to create the ambiance of trust within the staff today.

Sydney wanted to make a difference because she believed everyone has a chance to do better. And Michael thought it was his duty to keep things the same, despite how awful it all was even to himself.

He believed in Carmy's potential to the point of excusing his belief that he could never do better than what he had done.

This is also illustrated by the show of how much the staff felt threatened by Sydney in s1, because they believed (kinda like Michael) that they never could be better of what they had, that there is no better, not for people like them. Better is for geniuses and people without baggage.

They believed change would prove them inadequate, and Sydney showed them the chance is to support you, not destroy you.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART OF THIS IS?

Neither of them had any choice. Yes, we are all creatures of fault with a chance to change, but 75% of our being is preprogrammed. We are the people that we have built ourselves to be to survive in the world around us.

Sydney had a chance to let herself be and Michael didn't.

Sydney had an incentive (a loving parent) to recognize her own feelings and identity growing up. Michael didn't. Despite how flawed she may feel, at least she knows the basics of who she is; Michael could never look at himself and his wounds because that would be admitting he didn't want to play his usual part anymore in the facade that was the happy Berzatto family.

Both the Berzatto and the Adamus are working class (besides mafia links that may have put them in a financial crisis). Yet, Mr Adamu can encourage her daughter to follow her dreams in an industry as unreliable as fine dining. Meanwhile, Michael was told: "you are gonna do the same shit as your father because that is what you are supposed to do"

My last point is back to the dinner and the party afterwards.

It is not an accident the most confident we have ever seen Sydney is at a table surrounded by mentors and peers. She values her experiences and dreams and is eager to share, be nurtured, and nurture others. That is the basis of connection. You cannot connect if you are hiding.

Carmy was in the same party, hiding in his fear of his abuser, and previously, he had desperately tried to fit in the frat party to the point of pretending to be someone else. Carmy pretends to be Michael, but Michael never allowed himself to meet his true self.

[yannaryartside]

stealing looks

gifs by @nikossasaki

[sydneysadamu]

that stare