#taehyung college au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writtenwhalien · 2 years

Text

patient love | pt.2

banner by the talented val @eerieedits ❣️

pairing ↠ taehyung x reader

genre ↠ roommate au | college au | holiday au | best friends idiots to lovers au | fluff, (eventual) smut, angst.

summary ↠ Taehyung considers himself to be many things, and stupid isn’t one of them. However, all it takes is one special person in his life to realise that he is, in fact, quite stupid, especially when it comes to his feelings. And you (said special person), are stupid squared.

word count ↠ 13.1k

18+ | warnings ↠ same confused feelings as pt. 1, less sexy things happening and now we have angst *sigh*

notes ↠ this is so overdue, i’m sorry. (christmas was like six months ago but it’s still set at the same time). i hope you enjoy it though! <3 i’ll try to be much faster for the next (and most likely final) part! xo (also some part feel a bit stilted and/or rushed to me but i’m getting back into the flow of things so please excuse me lol).

taglist is open!

“Are you suuure you don’t wanna come and see a movie with me?” you ask Jimin for the fifth time today.

He laughs, closing up the till before turning to you. “Y/N, I love you and I know you love me, but a movie’s just not gonna happen.”

“Oh, come on, we don’t have to watch a movie then, what if we go get something to eat?”

Jimin’s eyes narrow, scrutinising you. “You have leftover pizza at home from the party yesterday, which is your favourite when it’s reheated, and you wanna buy more food?”

Damn. He got you there.

Humming, you try to brush off his suspicions. “I’m just in the mood to go out, you know?”

“Not really.” He leans onto the counter to get a better look at your face. “Seems like to me, you don’t wanna go home for some reason…”

“What?” Your eyes widen for a split second before you attempt to relax. “Why would I not want to go home?” you ask quickly.

“I don’t know,” Jimin murmurs, still clearly suspicious. “What are you hiding, Y/N?”

I made out with my best friend last night, who is also your best friend— oh, and I did it whilst I’m seeing someone else and now I’m avoiding both of them because what else does a girl do in this situation?

You practically ran out of the house half an hour earlier than usual today, all because you wanted to avoid even seeing Taehyung. You haven’t said anything to him since last night, and you don’t know what you would say.

“Nothing,” you answer hotly. “I just wanna spend time with you, we only ever really hang out at the cafe, I thought it would be nice to spend time somewhere else.”

Jimin stands up straight, smiling. “That sounds nice, although I already made plans to meet with Namjoon and Hoseok for dinner today—“

“That’s fine, I’m cool with that,” you interrupt, jumping to your feet with a smile. “I’ll just finish off these tables and we’ll go, yeah?”

“Alright,” Jimin shrugs. “But don’t think I don’t know you’re hiding something,” he adds, turning back to finish cleaning the counters. “You’ve got a shit poker face.”

“It’s not that shit,” you mumble, picking up the last of the dishes.

Jimin looks up. “So you are hiding something then?”

You purposely busy yourself with cleaning the table. “No, I just don’t think my poker face is that bad.”

“Yeah, right,” he snorts. “You’ve got it on now, it’s shit.”

He’s right, and you know it, but you know you’ll give yourself away the more you try to fight it. Jimin definitely notices when you so blatantly try to change the subject though, asking where you’ll be going for dinner, but he says nothing else on the matter and goes along with it.

For Hoseok, however, the same attempt to change the subject doesn’t work.

“But you hate being out this late on a Sunday,” he states simply. “You’re always complaining about your lectures being so early the next day.”

Rolling your eyes, you pull the nachos away from him. “Well I clearly don’t mind today.” You take a bite and chew this slowly.

“Okay, fine,” Hoseok says, taking the nachos back. “You wanna spend Sunday night out…” For a second, you think he’s gonna drop it, but this is Hoseok — he misses nothing. “But you have a whole ass boyfriend and you wanna spend time with us?”

Scowling, you take the nachos from him again, ignoring the guilt that pools in your stomach as you eat them slowly. You haven’t spoken to Ivan since yesterday at the party; even after he called, you didn’t respond and only texted back this morning saying that you weren’t feeling great. You’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to face him after yesterday. Sure, he’s not your boyfriend, but he’s as good as considering you’ve been seeing no one else but each other since the first date, and he’s made it very clear how much he likes you.

Still, you’re always quick to remind yourself and others of it.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Hobi, I told you that already.”

“Okay,” he smiles. “Boy toy, hubby, whatever you wanna call him.”

Looking up, you arch a brow at him. “Hubby? Really?”

He shrugs. “My point still stands, why us?”

From beside you, Jimin groans quietly. “Hobi, just let it go, I wanna order some actual food now.”

“Yeah, Hobi, just let it go,” you repeat, snarking playfully.

Letting out a sigh, Hoseok leans back into his seat. “Fine, I’m just making sure things are good.”

Just before you can answer, a quiet snort comes from Namjoon. “From what I saw, they’re good.”

“Oh, come on,” you mumble, cheeks warming — you know now that Hoseok and Jimin are going to want to know what happened if Namjoon says anymore, and while normally you wouldn’t mind the inevitable teasing, you honestly can’t remember much of your kiss with Ivan.

Sure, you remember what happened and how it happened, but you can’t remember how it felt. Every time you think about it, your mind always returns to Taehyung, and the kiss you shared with him.

Hoseok perks up. “Ooh, what did you see?”

“All I’m saying is, if I didn’t come in when I did,” Namjoon wiggles his brows, “we probably wouldn’t have seen Y/N for the rest of the night—“

“Joon!”

“Sorry,” he says while grinning, and Jimin and Hoseok break out into laughter.

“I guess I won't be asking again then.”

Averting your gaze from their smiling eyes, you purse your lips together and tug on the edge of your sleeve.

None of them notice your unusual quietness in a moment like this, until a few seconds later.

After exchanging a glance you don’t see, Jimin nudges you gently. “Hey.”

Looking up, you hum quietly.

“This is good, right? Last time you weren’t so sure.”

Hesitating, you silently curse yourself for putting yourself in this situation — you hate you to your friends more than anything.

“Unless you’re still feeling unsure?” Hoseok says, reading you like a book.

As guilt creeps in on you, you shake your head. “I just don’t think I wanna talk about it.”

That’s all it takes for the guys to nod, and Namjoon stealthily changes the subject to last night’s football game.

Listening idly, your mind eventually wanders off. Even here with your best friends, you're shit at hiding what’s up and you know it won’t be long at all before they piece things together, Jimin was already doing just that back at the cafe. Besides, Taehyung is one of your best friends, you can’t hide from him forever.

It’s clear to you that you need to talk to him, but for some reason, you find yourself wanting to know what he thinks about all of this — does he feel as guilty as you? Does he also feel as confused as you?… You’re aware that you shouldn’t be feeling confused — you’re dating Ivan and Taehyung is your best friend, what happened last night was a mistake. And yet, you can’t stop the soft fluttering you feel in your chest whenever you remember the feeling of Taehyung’s hands on you.

It’s easy enough to pin it down as you just being a horny fuck, considering it’s been a long time since you’ve had any action, but you know for sure that you don’t feel this way about the moment you shared with Ivan.

A part of you questions why that is, the answer there in the back of your mind but you don’t let it surface. It's been such a long time since you’ve met anyone who makes you feel as comfortable and happy as Ivan does — that’s when you don’t consider the people who have already been in your life, Taehyung included. But there’s a reason you started dating Ivan, and you still stand by the decision to do so. Nothing’s changed with him, in fact, things are only going upwards and he’s probably anticipating hearing back from you after you nearly went to third base last night.

He’s also probably wondering why you haven’t responded to his calls from last night, and his texts this morning.

Turning your phone over on the table, you glance at the screen and suddenly your heart beats a little harder. Taehyung messaged you a little over an hour ago.

[18:34] Tae: hey, I’m gonna go grocery shopping today, do you need anything?

Huffing, you turn your phone over again. You don’t know what else you expected from him, and you actually did need more granola and fruit for your breakfast but he’s probably already gone and come back home by now.

The waiter finally appears with the food, and as you enjoy your food, you decide to stop sulking and join the boys in their conversation in the hopes of taking your mind off of Taehyung. Clearly sitting here and sulking isn’t helping you feel any better so you might as well try to enjoy the rest of your night out before you go home and deal with whatever is waiting.

“So, are we all going to that frat party next week?” Namjoon asks.

Through a mouthful of shrimp taco, Jimin asks, “The Christmas one?”

Namjoon nods in response.

“Yes, of course we are,” Hoseok says, topping his taco with extra guacamole. “Right, Y/N?” he adds without even looking your way.

“Yes, we are,” you answer, sounding almost sarcastic as you smile plastically at Hoseok.

He glances your way, shrugging when he catches your expression. “Was just making sure.”

Rolling your eyes, you turn your attention back to your food. “Is anyone dressing up for it?”

“It’s not Halloween,” Namjoon garbles with his mouth full.

“No, but it’s Christmas,” you say. “You can still wear a Santa hat or something.”

The boys mumble in response and you know they won’t bother with it, so you make a mental note to buy them all something festive to wear on the day.

Hoseok swallows his bite before looking around to catch a waiter's attention. “Who wants a drink?” he asks. “It’s on me.”

Just as he flags one down, a small chorus of “me’s'' comes from your table and the rest of the evening passes by quickly in good company. Though you don’t drink too much, not wanting to go home inebriated to end up doing something stupid again when you inevitably see Taehyung.

“You know I’m perfectly capable of walking home myself.”

“Mhm,” Hoseok hums merely in acknowledgement, keeping his arm linked with yours.

“Seriously, I didn’t even drink that much, Hobi.”

“I know you didn’t.”

Huffing, you try to pull your arm from his. “Then let me go.”

“I’m only holding you ‘cos I’m cold, you idiot,” he sighs, tugging you on as he keeps walking in the direction of your apartment.

Grumbling under your breath, you give up and walk arm in arm with him towards your apartment.

Hoseok hasn’t said much on the walk home, nor does he say anything else as you keep walking, but he walks you all the way towards the apartment entrance, stopping only at the bottom of the stairs leading into the building.

“Thanks,” you say, turning towards him. “You really didn’t need to though.”

He shakes his head. “I live five minutes from here, it’s fine.”

Humming, you’re just about to lean in to give him a quick hug before he talks again.

“Tae is probably already at home,” he says casually, looking up at the building briefly.

You hum again, unintentionally looking down towards the floor as you’re reminded of Taehyung and the fact that you’re about to walk in and see him.

“Something’s bothering you…”

Looking up, Hoseok meets your face with a concerned frown. You’re just about to say something, but he interrupts before you can.

“You don’t need to say anything, I’m not asking you to. I just hope everything is okay.” His lips turn into a small smile. “It’s been a while since you dated anyone and you were happy just a week ago but today when we mentioned Ivan, you just looked all stressed and tense.”

“I know,” you mumble with a sigh.

“Normally the start of a relationship is fun,” he continues with a cheeky smile, “honeymoon phase and all that.”

“I know,” you repeat with a whine, realising how right he is — not even a month into dating Ivan and you’ve already fucked it up for yourself.

Hoseok sighs, pulling on your arm to bring you into a hug which you welcome. “Take your time with everything, okay? Just because things have been good with Ivan doesn’t mean you need to feel like you owe him or yourself anything.” He pauses, pulling back as he hesitates before he adds, “and you’re always allowed to walk away if it’s not what you want.”

Features pulling into a frown, you stare at him. Have you made it obvious that something has happened?

“What makes you say that?” you ask.

He shrugs, concealing the slightest hint of a smile. “Just… maybe he’s not the one for you.”

Taehyung immediately comes to mind and you internally curse yourself. Before you can even respond to Hoseok, he’s already stepping away with his usual smile. “Get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Waving, you turn away and get ready to face Taehyung—

“Hey, Y/N!”

Hoseok’s voice has you turning around again.

“Think about what you want, okay?” he says, too cryptic for your liking.

“Huh?”

“I’m just saying, maybe there’s a good reason you’re feeling like this. Don’t overcomplicate it.” With a sly wink, he turns around and walks back down the road.

Taehyung hasn’t texted you since that last message. It’s been more than three hours since you’re normally home and you wonder if he’s perhaps waiting up for you to make sure you get home. Of course, he could’ve just texted, but maybe he didn’t want to seem like an overbearing friend after last night’s events – when his tongue was down your throat and you loved every second of it.

A part of you is annoyed that he hasn’t said more, or even reached out to ask to speak with you about it, although you don’t know what you would expect him to say… hey, Y/N, so that was a great kiss last night, let’s do it again sometime? Or, hey, Y/N, huge mistake last night, I regret it so much… — see that would just hurt your feelings.

Pausing outside your apartment door, you take a few seconds to collect yourself before entering.

The lights are all off except for the tall floor lamp which spreads its warm colour all throughout the room. You naturally walk in quietly, wondering if perhaps Taehyung has gone to bed.

But then you see his sock covered feet extending out from the couch edge, and as you approach, you’re immediately endeared by the sight of him sleeping on the couch, fluffy hair covering his forehead with an open book laying across his chest.

You can’t help the way your chest tightens and the sound of Hoseok’s voice returns to you, echoing what he last said to you, and as though the pieces are suddenly falling into place, you remember what Imani said to you in the kitchen last night just before Ivan turned up.

“Although, I have to be honest, I was surprised when I heard you were dating someone.”

At this, you frowned. “Why?”

Pursing her lips, she shrugged. “I thought there might be someone else, but I guess I was wrong.”

Has it been that obvious to everyone but you? Have you really been falling for your best friend this whole time?

Thinking about it now, it seems like it would be almost impossible not to… you’ve always found comfort in Taehyung, preferring his company to others and finding little reminders of his love for you in whatever way he chooses to show it, whether it be the sandwiches he makes and leaves in the fridge for you, or the random cheek kisses he gives you, or even the times he makes sure to pick up after himself, knowing how much you hate mess.

Just as you’re about to walk away to find a blanket to place over him, he stirs quietly, stretching his limbs as his eyes open groggily.

Pausing in place at the end of the sofa, your mind falls blank as he catches sight of you. His eyebrows furrow softly and he sits up, rubbing his eyes before closing his book.

“I fell asleep,” he mumbles.

Naturally, your lips turn into a smile. “Were you not supposed to?”

“No, I was…” his eyes meet yours and he trails off, lips parted. Looking at them sends a gentle shiver down your spine, a little reminder of last night.

It’s easy to see Taehyung is thinking the same. His eyes briefly flit down to your lips before shaking his head. “No, I wasn’t,” he says quietly.

He doesn’t need to say more for you to know he was staying awake to wait for you to come home. Though, since you’re home past midnight, he fell asleep.

Nodding once, you find yourself feeling a little awkward with him and it’s no doubt got to do with the fact that neither of you have said anything to clear the air about what happened last night.

“You’re not normally home this late,” Taehyung says, the soft tone giving away his underlying concern.

“Yeah, I know.” You purse your lips subconsciously, giving away your hesitancy as you play with the end of your coat sleeves.

As usual, Taehyung doesn’t miss this. Placing his book on the table, he stands up and takes a step towards you. “Have you eaten?” he asks.

“Mhm.”

“Well, d’you want some tea?”

Looking at him, you frown. “Why?”

Hesitating, Taehyung looks down at the space between you for a moment to collect his thoughts before he looks up, releasing a small sigh. “You’re avoiding me.”

You’re about to blurt an excuse and tell him it’s not true, but Taehyung quickly carries on, but not without taking another step that doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“I don’t blame you,” he says. “Honestly, I was about to do the same but when you didn’t come home, I realised I don’t want both of us to avoid each other over something stupid like last night.”

Stupid. Of all the adjectives he could’ve used to describe last night, he just had to go with stupid. You almost want to laugh at yourself for being so naive, but another part of you is annoyed at Taehyung and you let out more of a scoff — he instigated last night more than you did, and you’re more than sure he was into it. So why does he now get to call it stupid?

Yet, as you look at him now, wearing an expression of apprehension and careful consideration, you realise you can’t be mad at him — he’s right, last night was stupid.

“We live together,” he continues. “It’ll be hard for us to avoid each other forever anyway.” He watches you carefully before tentatively reaching for your hand. His fingers curl around your palm as you meet his gaze. “And you’re my best friend,” he says softly. “I don’t think I’d be okay with not talking to you.”

Words catch in your throat and instead, you nod stiffly. Does he really not know how you’re feeling…? You feel like you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve right now and you imagine it would be easy for anyone to see the turmoil you’re in right now.

Clearing your throat, you break into a smile. “You’re right.” With a small squeeze of his hand, you let go. “We’ll forget it even happened, I don’t want us to be weird with each other either.”

Taehyung smiles, though you can still sense his hesitancy. “Good.”

“Well, I’m gonna go to bed now.” Picking up your bag, you turn towards your room and ignore the feeling of his eyes on you. “I have lessons all day tomorrow but I’ll be home by dinner.”

“Great, I’ll ask Seokjin if he can make your favourite then?” he asks.

Turning around at your bedroom door, you give him another convincing smile. “Sure, I’d love that.”

His smile widens and you feel your chest tighten. Thinking of being around him feels impossible all of a sudden, but as you say good night and close your bedroom door, you remind yourself that you’ve lived with him for this long without realising your feelings, so all you have to do is go back to that and focus your attention on Ivan.

Can’t be that hard, right?

“I won’t be seeing you again until after Christmas now, so please enjoy your holidays and don’t forget to turn in your assignments before the 18th!”

Your professor’s voice echoes in the lecture hall as everyone packs up, mumbling their greetings in return.

Being at the back of the class, you simply pack up and leave through the closest exit. Namjoon and Jungkook are waiting to have lunch with you but you need to quickly pop by the library first to return a textbook which is less than a few hours from putting a dent into your wallet.

Skipping up the steps in the main campus building, you mindlessly walk down a few more corridors. Well, not mindless — your head is full of thoughts, it’s just that they’re the same repetitive thoughts going through your head again and again. All to do with Taehyung as you aimlessly overthink all the encounters you’ve had with him recently.

Just as you reach the double doors of the main library, your phone begins vibrating in your pocket. Sliding it out, your stomach flips when you see Ivan’s name.

Pausing outside the library, you answer the call. “Hello.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Ivan’s voice is as calm as ever and you have to remind yourself that he, of course, has no idea about what happened between Taehyung and you.

“Hey, what’s up?” you respond, schooling yourself to calm down.

“Just a quick question, are you free tomorrow during the day?”

“Umm, let me check.” You quickly open up your phone calendar and see the day empty except for one class in the morning. So you’re free, but you ask yourself if you want to be free to see Ivan. A part of you wants to say ko, and to bury yourself in a pity hole where you can feel sorry for your stupid crush on Taehyung, but the logical part of you knows not to do that. You need to focus on yourself and that involves dating Ivan as you have been.

So you answer, “Yeah, I’m free after 12, why?”

“Perfect, would you like to come shopping with me? I have a few gifts I still need to get and maybe I can make you dinner after too.”

Despite everything that’s happened the last two days, the offer still puts a smile on your face. “Sure, that sounds perfect.”

“I’ll pick you up from campus around 12.30 then, yeah?”

“Yes, that's great.”

“Great,” Ivan says, and you can hear his smile through the phone. “Bye, babe.”

“See you,” you answer quickly, ending the call before your voice reacts to his pet name. Releasing a small sigh, you put your phone away and enter the library to make your way over to the self service station.

It makes you feel bad that you can’t even enjoy the possible start of something new with Ivan. He’s only ever been sweet to you and who knows, he could be the one! If only you weren’t so hung up on your best friend who you live with which only makes things worse.

As you scan your books to return, you remind yourself of the decision you made to focus on Ivan. Tomorrow is a perfect day for you to spend with Ivan and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy yourself.

“Y/N!”

An excited voice calling out your name has you freezing.

“Y/N Y/L/N!”

Again. It’s a voice that you hoped would never hear again, or at least not while you’re still in college.

Turning around slowly, you come face to face with one of the most beautiful girls you’ve ever come across, sporting a fake smile, though it’s so perfect you almost think it’s genuine.

Nisa Madan.

“Y/N, I knew it was you,” she says with a wave of her hand as she walks over to you.

“Hi,” you answer curtly with your lips pursed in a smile before turning back to your books. The quicker you return them, the quicker you get away from Nisa.

“It’s been so long,” she says, leaning up against your station.

“Has it?” you ask, your tone bordering completely unbothered.

“Yes, I last saw you like, what, six, seven, maybe eight months ago?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“So what are you up to these days?”

Pointedly swiping your student card at your station, you shrug. “Same as always.”

“Hm, that’s good to hear,” he says dismissively. “I was wondering when I might see you again.”

You merely hum nonchalantly, but Nisa keeps talking.

“It’s good timing really, I’ve been thinking a lot about you guys and how much I miss you.”

As you place the last book in the return basket, you feel the cogs whirring in your head, piecing together what she says before she says it.

“Well, actually, just Taehyung.”

There it is.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she says quickly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Jin, you, and all the other guys were all great company, but, well, there’s just no one like Tae.” She pauses, shrugging with a small frown. “Or at least, no one who fucks like him anyway.”

Exhaling slowly, you turn to look at her stupidly perfectly face. You can’t blame Taehyung for having dated her in the past based on looks alone, or even considering she’s pretty smart too with above average grades, but personality wise, Nisa is unbelievably obnoxious.

It just occurs to you now, that maybe part of the reason you dislike her so much has to do with the not-so-little revelation you made just last night — maybe a part of you is just jealous of Nisa because she was the object of all his affections for almost a year.

That is, until she went and broke up with him.

Yeah, that is still the main reason you dislike her. You’d never seen Taehyung show so much care and attention to any relationship before, but Nisa had no care for any of that as she still fucked around with other guys and played with Taehyung’s feelings before calling it quits.

She knew she was using him all that time while knowing full well just how much Taehyung cared for her, yet she still put him through months of endless games.

Nudging her hand off of your shoulder, you smile as plastically as she does. “That’s good to hear, I’ll be going now so bye.”

Ignoring your attempt to end the conversation, Nisa chooses to walk in stride with you as you leave the library. “Maybe I’ll see you later on today, actually.”

“And why would we be seeing each other again?” you ask with a very obvious sigh.

“It’s like I said, I’ve missed Tae. I’d love to see him again, maybe like we used to, you know?”

It’s hard to stop the scoff that escapes you. “And what would Taehyung think about that?”

Pursing her lips, she takes a few seconds before answering. “I’d have to work on that.”

“Hm, and how do you plan on doing that?”

She shrugs again, about to answer when you hear a voice calling her. Pausing, she turns around.

You’re just about to use this as your chance to get away, when the same voice speaks again and his tone has you looking back.

“Where d’you think you’re going?” He’s a tall guy, must be around the same age as Nisa and you although you don’t recognise him. He approaches Nisa with a frown and she rolls her eyes, not so discreetly.

“I told you I’d meet you by your car, why are you here?”

As he towers over Nisa, you find yourself coming to stand close to her as though you’re waiting for her.

“You were taking long,” he says, grimacing. “And why is it I come up here and hear you talking about another guy fucking you?”

Nisa rolls her eyes again. “Get over it, Josh. You’re not the first guy I’ve been with and chances are you won’t be the last.”

As Josh stands there momentarily dumbfounded, Nisa uses this as a cue to turn back to you.

“So,” she says, carrying on right where she left off, “how about I start by having lunch with you?” She slips her arm into yours as you walk down the corridor.

“Wait, what?” you ask, mind still wondering who Josh is, and why Nisa is even hanging out with someone as intimidating as him.

“I’ll have lunch with you,” Nisa repeats with a bright smile. “You know, so I can work on getting close to Tae again.”

Unconsciously, you stiffen. “Nisa, I don’t think Tae wants to get close again?” you say, posing the statement as a question.

“Why not?”

“Because he already gave you a chance, too many if you ask me.”

Nisa sighs, lips jutting out into a pout. “But there’s no one like him, I know that now and I’m ready to show how serious I am.”

Hearing her say that out loud has you wondering if Taehyung would ever take her back. There’s no doubt that he really did like Nisa; even though she’s obnoxious, he only ever saw the sweet, charming side of her. Just the thought of it has your jaw clenching and you have to ignore the pit of jealousy that stirs in your stomach.

“You had many chances to do that when you were with him, Nisa, which was months,” you say, trying only to sound like a concerned friend.

Somehow, you’ve ended up outside still walking arm in arm with her, and you only realise when you catch sight of Namjoon and Jungkook frowning at you.

Looking back at Nisa who still wears an apologetic pout, you pull your arm away from her. “Okay, so I’m gonna—“

“Oh, hey, Joon! Jungkook!” Nisa’s pout transforms to a dazzling smile and she’s strutting away from you and towards your friends before you can even finish your sentence.

Cursing inwardly, you follow behind her. When the boys glance back between you, you shoot them a look that very clearly says ‘don’t ask’.

“It’s been so long,” Nisa says with dramatic flair. “Last time I saw you guys was what, seven, eight months ago?”

As she more or less repeats exactly what she said to you earlier to them, you can’t help but roll your eyes and cross your arms, just waiting to see how this plays out.

The boys amicably agree, mumbling about how it’s been a while.

“Gosh, Kook, you’ve definitely gone bigger since the last time I saw you,” Nisa says, eyes narrowing as she boldly squeezes his arms.

Jungkook only smiles, proudly flexing for her too. “I mean, I go gym a few times a week, it’s nothing really.”

Nisa giggles sweetly, stepping closer to him. “This isn’t nothing.”

That inflates Jungkook’s ego even more. “Yeah, I guess I have been upping my weights a little recently.”

Namjoon and you only stand there, very openly judging Jungkook as he basks in Nisa’s flattery. When he glances your way, you both make sure he sees the judgement coming off of you, eyes narrowed and grimacing, which seems to snap him out of it.

Clearing his throat, he straightens up and the smile disappears from his face. “Anyway, it was good to see you but uh, I, we got plans.”

“For lunch?” Nisa asks.

“Uh, yea—“

“Great, I’ll join you,” Nisa quips, linking arms with Jungkook as she did with you.

Jungkook and Namjoon exchange glances while you let out a sigh. You’ve spent plenty of time with Nisa before to know she often gets what she wants by way of being persistent and annoying, and like now, it works because you’re not bothered to keep politely declining (and despite the many negative feelings you have towards her, you can never bring yourself to rudely decline her).

“Will Taehyung be joining us?” Nisa asks the question with too much excitement for your liking.

“No,” you snap, before grumpily joining arms with Namjoon and pulling him along to walk ahead of Nisa, leaving Jungkook to deal with her as you walk to your favourite deli.

“Sometimes I just wish I could get a sock and shove it in her mouth, you know?”

Ivan snorts on his hot chocolate, breaking into laughter as he hastily wipes around his mouth.

“I’m being serious,” you say, passing him a tissue. “She just talks and talks and before you know it you’re stuck at a table having lunch with her while she goes on about her summer and how hard it was because she had to choose between a road trip with her sister and her boyfriend, or a ski resort with her best friends.”

You throw a few stockings into the trolley with a little more force than intended, though you can’t help it after you just spent all of your lunch time with Nisa.

Turning towards Ivan with a massive candy cane in your hand, you point it towards him as you continue. “Which is a stupid choice by the way.” You didn’t actually want to weigh in with your opinion to Nisa so you do it now instead. “She should’ve gone on the ski trip, I mean, the choice is a no brainer. You can do a road trip any time but if you have the chance to go with all of your friends to a ski resort… I mean, duh.”

Ivan chuckles, nodding his head in agreement as he takes the candy cane from you. “You want this?”

Looking down at it, you frown, still feeling annoyed about Nisa. Although really there’s no reason for you to be this annoyed, except for your stupid crush on Taehyung. “No,” you mumble, turning away.

Before you can walk on, Ivan’s arm wraps around your front and he pulls you closer to him. “So you really don’t like this girl, hm?”

His warmth sends a shiver running down your spine, but there’s a sliver of guilt too. It’s becoming more increasingly apparent to you that you have a crush on Taehyung, yet you’re here, still trying to pretend your relationship with Ivan is normal just because you selfishly don’t want to ruin your friendship with Taehyung, and are afraid that he might not feel the same.

As these thoughts cloud your mind, you mumble in response to his question. “No.”

He nuzzles his face into your hair and it takes everything in you to relax. “She sounds like she can be quite difficult.”

“She is.” Your voice comes out quiet again as you start to sink into his chest, realising you’ve been talking about Nisa the whole time you’ve been with him which has been almost an hour so far from when he picked you up.

Just then, Ivan asks, “Hm, d’you wanna vent some more?”

Turning around in his arms, you meet his gaze, gentle eyes with a little concern but mostly amused. It’s moments like this that make you believe this could really work with Ivan, and the only thing stopping you, is yourself.

His arm snakes further around you, pulling you even closer. As a small smile grows on his lips, Ivan smirks.

“I’m good,” you murmur, eyes briefly dripping to his lips.

He quirks his brow. “You sure? You know I’m all ears for you.”

As you chuckle softly, you feel your cheeks grow warm. “Yeah, sorry, I’ve been talking about her all this time.”

Ivan shrugs. “It’s okay, I like hearing you talk.” He says it so sweetly, you can’t help it when your face naturally leans in closer.

“You better be careful otherwise I won’t stop,” you say quietly, eyes falling to his lips again.

With his signature charming smile, Ivan laughs. “I don’t want you to, baby.”

He lowers his lips to yours, pressing soft kisses a few times at first, and it’s you who holds him by the neck to kiss him a little more. The whole time you wait in anticipation for the butterflies to come, but they don’t, and Ivan is pulling away before you can wait anymore.

“Let’s pick this up later, hm?” There’s a playfulness in his tone as he raises his brows suggestively.

“That depends,” you hum.

“On?”

“How satisfied I am with my dinner,” you shrug, turning away to keep walking.

Ivan laughs, pulling the cart with him. “Babe, I’m an amazing cook, you’re gonna love it.”

“What about this cushion?”

“Lame,” you sigh.

“This candle?”

“He won’t ever use it.”

“Jin cooks right?”

“Yeah.”

“What about this?”

Turning around from the shelf with all the glassware, you see Ivan pointing at a very fancy looking knife block set on display behind glass. You walk over to him, eyes squinting as you read the label. “Sasaki masuta.”

It would be a good present actually since Seokjin is always complaining about the lack of utensils and knives are always essential.

Pulling out your phone, you do a quick search on the brand and after seeing only good reviews, you decide it’s perfect.

“Thanks, Ivan,” you say, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before taking a picture so you can come back to it when you finish shopping.

“You’re welcome,” he smiles, looking down at your phone as you tick off Seokjin’s name on your notes app.

“Now for Taehyung,” you think out loud, returning to the snow globes you were looking at.

“How about perfume?” Ivan asks.

The thought of Taehyung and perfume has you remembering the scent of his oud and bergamot perfume… the last memory that comes to mind is when you were sitting on his lap and it’s enough to make your knees feel weak now.

“He has enough,” you respond casually, trying to pull your focus from the memories resurfacing of that night.

“You said he liked photography, what about something for that?”

“Hm, I could but he’s kinda picky when it comes to his equipment.”

“Okay, what about a jacket or something? It’s always good to have choices,” Ivan suggests.

“I could, but I want it to be more meaningful,” you say, idly browsing through some dishware.

Ivan only hums, joining you as you look at the selection of plates and bowls.

“You wanna get him a bowl?” Ivan asks jokingly, holding one up.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you walk away towards another shelf full of snow globes that catch your eye.

“What?” Ivan laughs, following behind you. “It’s good if he loves cereal.”

“He doesn’t, unfortunately.” Looking through the snow globes on the shelf, you’re reminded of a special night from two years ago. Seokjin had gone home for the holidays and it was only Taehyung and you. It was the first time you were spending Christmas away from home and although Taehyung had only known you for a few months, he still dragged you out of your room and into the snow outside. After sneaking into the cafeteria to find trays, you spent most of the night sledding down hills around campus and playing in the snow.

“You’re gonna get him a snow globe?” Ivan asks while he idly browses through some of the trinkets.

“Maybe,” you answer, still thinking it through.

“Isn’t that a bit thoughtless?”

You spot one that looks perfect and take it off the shelf. “The opposite actually,” you smile.

“Hm,” Ivan hums nonchalantly, “just don’t get him anything too special, you don’t wanna get his hopes up.”

“Sorry,” you frown, turning around immediately to look at him, “what?”

You’ve never been one to appreciate other people telling you what to do and something about Ivan’s tone now tells you his words carry a lot more meaning.

Shrugging, Ivan continues to look at the shelf in front of him. “It’s just kind of obvious that he fancies you.”

For a second, you’re speechless. Not only is it awkward for you having now realised that you do in fact have feelings for Taehyung that are more than friendly whilst you’re seeing Ivan, but having Ivan state so simply that Taehyung has feelings for you, it makes your stomach swoop — in a good way. But when you realise that it’s Ivan who’s saying it and why, it leaves you feeling rather uncomfortable.

“Okay, first of all,” you say, “I’ll buy Taehyung whatever the hell I want.” Your tone has Ivan glancing towards you. “And secondly,” you continue, keeping your voice as calm as you can, “he doesn’t fancy me.”

Ivan raises his brows and for a second you think he’s about to challenge you and say something else, but then his lips purse and he only nods. “Okay, sorry, forget I said it.”

Now that is much easier said than done. For some reason, you keep remembering the look on Taehyung’s face right before he kissed you. It was more than just Iust in his expression when he said your name, asking for more, you’re so sure of it. But how are you supposed to be sure of that as long as you’re in a relationship with someone else? Someone else who can apparently see Taehyung’s feelings for you when you can’t even see yourself.

“Shall we go?”

Ivan’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you nod. Walking with him to the cashier doesn’t feel the same, tension rife between you after the comment he made, though neither of you make any effort to clear the air.

“So this is the first time you’re coming to mine, right?”

It’s the first full sentence that has been exchanged between you besides the occasional closed questions such as ‘d’you want to listen to music?’ or ‘is it warm enough?’ during your car ride back to his apartment.

Truthfully, you’d forgotten that you’d be going back to his place and were a little confused when he drove past the turning you normally take to get home, and you only remembered a few minutes later. That’s probably because your head is still reeling from what he said earlier while shopping.

“Uh, yeah, it is,” you answer, still mostly quiet.

From the corner of your eye you see Ivan glance at you but he says nothing else as he presses the button to the elevator. He’s definitely aware that his earlier comment annoyed you and that you’re being more quiet than usual, and you appreciate he isn’t pressing you but you realise you ought to be more normal now that you’re about to spend the evening alone with him.

As the elevator doors open, both of you step inside and Ivan presses the button for the 12th floor, still saying nothing as you go up.

It’s only when you’re walking down the hall to his apartment does he slow down, gently tapping your arm.

“Wait,” he says abruptly, then going relatively pink as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, though you’re fairly certain you know what’s wrong.

“Uh, before we go inside, can we just clear the air between us?” He looks at you with his bottom lip pulled into his mouth and something about it is just endearing to you. Gosh, why does he have to be so charming?

“Sure,” you nod, releasing a small breath. The awkward tension was getting a bit too awkward for you. “Let’s forget it happened.”

“Okay,” Ivan nods, letting out a relieved sigh too. “I do apologise for it though,” he adds. “It was an unnecessary comment and I didn’t think about what I was saying.”

Lips pursed, you nod. There’s more you could say, but you’re afraid to say anything else in case Ivan tries to explain what he meant, to justify why he could possibly think Taehyung likes you, which would only give you false hope.

“It’s fine, apology totally accepted,” you say.

“Okay great,” Ivan lets out another sigh. “Can we hug it out?” Tilting his head, he stretches his arms out.

You laugh, stepping into his arms and he breaks out into a grin. “Okay, I feel much better now.”

He steps away to swiftly get into his apartment and you follow behind him, taking off your shoes at the entrance and looking around as you walk further. It’s a modest apartment, similar to yours albeit a bit smaller since he lives alone.

“So…” he says once you’re both in the kitchen. He raises his brows, looking around at the space.

“It’s nice,” you answer.

“Just nice?”

“No, it’s really nice, I didn’t actually expect it to be this nice.” You give him a smile.

“What?” he chuckles, “did you expect me to be a slob?”

Shrugging, you settle into one of the kitchen stools. “I guess I did fall for the stereotype that you’d just be another messy guy, but I’m definitely being proven wrong.”

“You live with two guys, Y/N, and your apartment is one of the cleanest and tidiest I’ve ever seen.”

You shrug again. “Jim is a tidy guy and he keeps Taehyung in check.”

Ivan nods, a small smirk growing on his lips. “And who keeps you in check?”

“I keep myself in check, thank you very much.”

He nods again, stepping towards you. “I’m glad to hear. So I shouldn’t have any problems whenever you choose to spend time with me here?”

“Are you offering me an open invitation to come whenever I want?” you ask, brow arched.

“For you, yes.” He steps closer, leaning towards your face. “Whenever you want.”

Smiling, your expression shows you’re impressed. “That’s a big move.”

Ivan shrugs. “I believe in grand gestures.”

Humming, you tilt your head. “Noted. Though I’ll have to see how good you cook before I make any promises on accepting your invitation.”

He chuckles, pulling away to the sink. “You won’t be disappointed,” he says, washing his hands.

“I hope not, I’m starving.”

He smiles, walking towards the fridge to collect ingredients. “Well how would you like to be my assistant in the kitchen?”

“If you’re okay with a hazard being in your kitchen, then yeah let’s go for it.”

Ivan walks back towards you with a handful of vegetables which he places on the counter before getting a colander out from the cupboard. “The only hazard you pose is being too hot,” he answers matter-of-factly.

As you burst into laughter, Ivan’s cheeks go pink as he facepalms and tries not to laugh at himself.

“That’s the cheesiest, most cringe thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Hey, at least I didn’t say anything like that on our first date.”

“Yeah, you probably wouldn’t have seen me again if you did.”

Ivan’s expression softens a little. “And now?”

“Hmm…” you twist on the stool, subconsciously avoiding his gaze. “Now I know you better.

“Or you like me too much,” he says with a smirk.

You throw him a sassy look. “Aren’t you supposed to be making my dinner?”

Laughing softly, he nods. “Yes, ma’am, let’s go.”

After a few mishaps on your part in the kitchen, Ivan takes over fully and it’s almost two hours later that you’re finally getting to eat something.

Through mouthfuls of food you praise Ivan’s cooking skills, eating mostly quietly as Ivan carries the conversation, telling you about his week including the antics of his football team.

“Oh, Charlie’s the guy with the glasses right? Light brown hair?”

“Yeah that’s him,” Ivan answers, adding another serving of roast potatoes to your plate.

With a satisfied smile, you swallow what’s in your mouth and take a sip of your drink too. “He lives in the frat house, right? I think Jungkook was talking about some Christmas party he and the other guys are hosting.”

“Mm, yeah, they’re going all out for it but some of those guys have the money to spend so I guess it’s alright for them.”

“Whatever floats their boat,” you shrug. “Are you gonna go?”

“Yeah, most likely.” Ivan takes a sip of his drink, watching you savour a mouthful of food. “What about you?”

“Yeah,” you mumble with your mouth full. Swallowing, you nod. “Jungkook and Hoseok are pretty tight with some of the guys so they’ll probably ask us to come and I have no reason not to.”

“But do you want to?”

“Yeah, I like the occasional party,” you hum.

“Hm, it’ll be nice to see you there,” Ivan says, a suggestive lilt to his voice.

“See me there?” You raise a brow. “Shouldn’t you be asking me to be your date?”

Ivan laughs, revealing his charming boyish features again that makes your stomach swirl. “You’re right, I just didn’t wanna be too forward.” He leans forward, taking one of your hands.

Arching your brow with a mischievous, you lean forward too.

“Y/N, would you be my date to the Christmas party?”

Squeezing his hand, you smile. “Absolutely.”

Naturally, Ivan’s eyes drop to your lips and he leans even closer to place a quick peck on your lips. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Shall I put these in the fridge?” you ask, clasping the lids on the tupperware containing the leftover food.

“Yes, please,” Ivan says, glancing over his shoulder as he finishes cleaning the dining table.

After placing the food neatly in the fridge, Ivan places the last few dishes in the sink.

“I can wash up if you like?” you offer.

“No no.” He quickly puts on the washing up gloves. “Don’t worry, I’ll do them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah of course,” he says, adjusting the temperature before starting. “This was my treat to you so please just relax.”

“Oh,” you smile, leaning against the counter. “What did I do to get treated?”

He shrugs. “Just existing I suppose,” he says with a smile that matches yours. “And for letting me date you.”

“Is that such a privilege?” you laugh.

“Oh, huge privilege,” he says with an exaggerated flair.

Feelin your cheeks warm, you hum quietly. “Well, I definitely appreciated the dinner. It was ten out of ten and that’s coming from someone who eats Jin’s food regularly.”

“So that’s definitely a compliment then,” Ivan says, stealing glances at you as he finishes washing up.

“Absolutely,” you hum, walking over to the fridge where there’s a few photographs stuck with various touristy magnets.

They’re mostly with the same people who you assume to be his family, and a few with friends. “So no embarrassing Shrek like photos here, hm?” You turn around to see him smiling.

“Nope. I’ve been the same ever since I was young.”

Taking off one of the pictures of him when he must’ve been a teenager, with a goofy grin and a very questionable haircut, you hold it up towards him. “Looks the same to me,” you shrug.

Ivan laughs, placing the last clean dish to the side as he pulls off the gloves. “You’re on drying duty for that.”

Feigning offence, you pout and he makes his way over to you. “I thought I was being treated.”

“Hm, you were,” he says, sliding his hands around your waist. “But I’ve changed my mind.”

Ignoring the awkward way your body stiffens, you force yourself to relax into his embrace. “Meanie,” you mumble, lowering your head.

Ivan chuckles this time, low and smooth. “Well how about after you’re done, I treat you again?”

“More food?” you question.

He shakes his head, a playful glint in his eyes. “I was thinking of something else.”

“Oh.” Oh.

Meeting your gaze, Ivan smiles softly. “If you want.”

“Um…” there’s absolutely no legitimate reason for you not to, besides the foolish crush you have on your best friend who, apparently, according to the tempting man standing in front of you, reciprocates those feelings.

Feeling Ivan’s warm breath on your neck stirs something inside of you, and when you accidentally glance down at his lips, you can’t help but lean forward just a little.

Ivan responds, hand pressing into your back a little deeper. With your chest close to his, you lean in further and close your eyes, and sure enough, within a second, Ivan’s lips are on yours.

He moves slowly at first, as though he’s testing the water, making sure you’re okay with it. Truthfully, you don’t know if you are.

With every second his lips are on yours, you feel your mind racing — it finds the thoughts and feelings from the night that seems to be burned into your memory.

Ivan’s lips are on yours but you’re not thinking of him, his hands are on your waist but you wish them to be another’s.

It’s no surprise to you that you suddenly go still, one firm hand on Ivan’s chest to get him to stop and he does so immediately.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words that come from him, making you feel so guilty for doing this to him.

Shaking your head, you quickly respond. “No, it’s okay, I just, um, I don’t think I'm feeling well.” Hugging your arms around yourself, you do everything you can to avoid his gaze.

You’re certain Ivan knows that’s a lie, but if he does, he says nothing like the gentleman he is.

“That’s okay, do you wanna sit down for a bit? I can make you tea too if you like.”

The care in his tone has your stomach twisting. It almost feels like you’re cheating on him with your feelings for Taehyung, although you’re not actually dating (and not to forget that you have in fact made out with Taehyung whilst you’ve been seeing Ivan).

“Sure,” you nod.

“Okay, it’s chamomile, is that good?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make it now,” he says, tentatively reaching out to hold your back as you walk towards the couch. “Blanket is on the end of the couch if you want it,” he lets you know.

Looking at him, you nod with a small grateful smile. He smiles back and it has your stomach twisting again. When he walks back towards the kitchen, you let out a small sigh. You have a lot of thinking to do.

For the fifth time, you put your alarm on snooze, hoping to doze off into a sleepless dream again but this time sleep doesn’t come.

With a heavy sigh, you pry one eye open and look at the time. 12:07. It’s a good thing you don’t have a morning class today. Sitting up slowly, you throw the covers off and trudge towards the bathroom, eyes still half closed. Being left with an hour to get to your afternoon class is enough time but you’re moving at a snails pace and don’t particularly feel like your usual self this morning, the awkward ending from last night still replaying in your mind.

After Ivan made you tea, you didn’t want to be any more rude than you already felt so you made sure to drink it down to its last drop. Thankfully Ivan did all he could to make you feel comfortable, even finding an old season of modern family and wordlessly paying for it so he could stream it for you to enjoy — it was almost a month ago you’d told him it was your comfort show and when you realised not only had he remembered that, but he also paid for the season, you couldn’t help but feel bad.

After a mellow conversation, he offered himself to drop you off home and you accepted. Before you got out of the car, he didn’t make any move to give you his usual goodbye kiss but you went in for it yourself and he didn’t make anything seem awkward at all as you said goodbye.

Honestly, you’re grateful for him and wish you could stop feeling so conflicted when there’s no doubt about him being such a good guy and you only realised your feelings for Taehyung a few days ago, though now that they’ve arisen you’re certain you’ve had feelings for him for far longer. Either way, you need to figure things out and be honest not just to Ivan, but to yourself as well.

That’ll have to wait a few hours though because right now you’re hungry and after that you need to get to class and focus.

Walking towards the kitchen, you almost freeze when you see Taehyung is there too. His back is to you, broad shoulders still visibly flexing under the material of his loose tee, and the messy curls atop his head tell you he hasn’t brushed his hair this morning.

Having heard you coming, he turns around and smiles. “Afternoon.” He holds out an iced coffee.

Stepping forward, you take it from him. “Thanks,” you smile, fighting the jittery feeling that stirs in the pit of your stomach. Maybe having a coffee isn’t a good idea.

“I was gonna make you breakfast too but I couldn't be bothered, sorry,” he says, grabbing an apple from the bowl as you place the glass down on the counter.

“That’s okay, I can make it,” you chuckle, taking the bread out. “I’m gonna have avocado toast and egg, you want some too?”

Taehyung hums. “Would love some, thanks,” he grins. “Can you scramble my egg though?”

“Sure,” you answer, turning around to face him with your eyes narrowed. “I bet you knew I was gonna offer, didn’t you?”

Laughing, Taehyung takes out the avocados from the fridge. “I made you coffee, you always make me breakfast after,” he shrugs. “But you make the best breakfast and I make the best coffee, so it works.”

Scoffing lightly, you take the avocados from him. He settles on the table as you prepare breakfast and you can’t ignore the fact that you’re acting awkward with him and it’s making your conversation feel rather stilted.

It’s not like you can help it though when you made out with the guy a few nights ago and since then have realised you might be harbouring a fat crush on him.

A short ten minutes later, you’re joining Taehyung on the table with a yummy breakfast to enjoy.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he mumbles through his first mouthful of food.

“You're welcome.”

He swallows quickly, already preparing his second bite and you almost expect him to eat in silence as he enjoys his food but he doesn’t. “How was your dinner with Ivan yesterday?”

“It was good, but how did you know?” you ask. You know for sure you didn’t tell Taehyung or Seokjin where you were yesterday evening.

“Jungkook told Hobi who told Jin, then Jin told me.”

“Ah,” you nod, smiling. “Right.” You remember telling Jungkook about Ivan inviting you for dinner when you had a brief moment alone with him away from Nisa at lunch yesterday. No doubt he was just excited for you, as are the rest of your friends.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Taehyung asks, forgoing his manners as he asks through a big mouthful of food.

“Not at all.”

“Good,” he nods. “So, did he cook for you?”

Stealing a glance at Taehyung, he seems to be completely casual and although that makes you feel a certain type of way — maybe a part of you wants him to feel more bothered by it — you embrace the normalcy instead.

“Yeah, it was actually surprisingly good.”

“I bet I can make food just as good.”

Smiling, you take another bite before answering. “You only learnt how to boil pasta a few months ago.”

“Hey, it’s hard getting it to al dente,” he says a little defensively. “Besides, my skills have developed.”

“I wouldn’t try to compare yourself just yet,” you laugh. “You burnt frozen dumplings just a week ago.”

“I forgot to turn the heat down,” he frowns, looking up when you quietly laugh. “Alright, what else can he do that I can't do then?” he asks, his man sized ego coming out.

“No way I’m not comparing you,” you say, shaking your head.

“Why not?”

Because no one else compares to you, the voice in your head responds to you. Feeling yourself going warm, you answer simply, “Because, I just wouldn’t.”

Taehyung has always been able to pick up on any of your emotional cues so now you’re sure he can see right through you. The thought of it leaves you feeling somewhat embarrassed, so you force yourself to look at him.

“If I had to though,” you say, choosing your words carefully, “I’d say you’re fairly similar.”

He raises a brow in surprise. “We are?”

You shrug. “Yeah.” Now that’s a bit of a lie. “Why? Did you think you’d be so different?”

“I guess so,” Taehyung answers slowly, making you wonder if he’s having to choose his words as carefully as you are. “I mean, you’re dating the guy so you’d see something special in him that I don’t have, no?”

The words sound almost vulnerable from him and if you weren’t looking at him you would most certainly think so, but there’s a small sly smile on his face (which, unknown to you, he’s having to put on).

“You guys are different in different ways.”

“Fair,” he nods. “Though I have to say, in the looks department, we’re both doing pretty good.” He takes another forkful of food and you can still see his smile when he looks at you while chewing. “Right?”

Fighting a smile, you refuse to give him the answer he wants to hear and keep eating.

He smiles, leaning forward. “It’s alright, Y/N, it’s no secret you think I’m handsome. We established as much when I was basically stuck to you, remember?”

You almost facepalm remembering the other day in the kitchen and the conversation that passed. Not only had he told you he’s caught you checking him out, but he also called you attractive.

Looking at Taehyung, he gives you a devilish grin and you know he’s revelling in this.

“Of course I think you’re handsome, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made out with you the other night, would I?” you answer, casually taking a sip of your coffee.

It’s hard not to break into laughter when Taehyung’s own cheeks go pink and he seems to break into an embarrassed smile. “True,” he answers honestly. “And from what I remember, you seemed to be into it.”

Suddenly it feels a lot warmer in the room and instead of feeling awkward like you did a little while ago, everything Taehyung is saying seems to be encouraging you.

“I could say the same about you.”

He lets out an amused laugh. “Oh, without a doubt,” he responds without thought. When he catches your gaze, he adds, “I was definitely into it.”

Your mind races, scrambling to acknowledge what he really means, but there’s a part of you — the insecure and helpless part — that refuses to go there.

“Right, so what does it take for you then?” you say in the hopes of moving the attention away from yourself.

He frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“For you to be ‘into it’?” you say, marking the last two words with finger quotation marks. “I’m definitely not the first girl you’ve made out with and I won’t be the last, so what does it take for you?”

At that, something in Taehyung’s expression flickers and if you’re not mistaken, you see a glimpse of annoyance.

A beat of silence passes before he says anything. “It changes I suppose,” he answers, curling the end of his straw and for a short moment he’s quiet again and you almost think you’ve pissed him off, but then he asks, “What about you?”

Slowly shrugging, you actually take a minute to think about the answer but besides your feelings for Taehyung, you come up short. “I guess it changes too,” you say, mirroring his response, and apparently his mood too as the atmosphere between you both changes to one that feels almost stifling in both a good and a bad way.

It feels as though there’s more to say but you just can’t say it, yet you enjoy the feeling of being caught in such an honest conversation with Taehyung.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung says while avoiding your gaze.

Despite the way your nerves heighten, you answer normally. “Yeah.”

“It’s kinda personal though,” he says with a nervous smile.

“That’s okay, I won’t answer if I don’t want to.”

He nods, lips pursed. “Okay, uh… did you sleep with him last night?”

“Oh.” Your cheeks grow warm for the nth time.

Taehyung almost immediately clarifies. “I just mean, because, well, we spoke about it that night and you were there kinda late last night but you didn’t stay so I just wanted to know… if everything was alright?”

“Um, yeah it’s fine. I don’t mind you asking,” you answer honestly. “And I haven’t,” you add after a pause.

He nods. “Everything’s okay though, right?”

Caught in the moment, you find yourself answering honestly. “Um, I don’t know…”

You immediately find concern in Taehyung’s expression and you have to rush to reassure him.

“It’s not Ivan, he’s always been sweet,” you say quickly. “It’s just me…” you trail off, unable to find the words to continue.

“It’s okay to not feel like you don’t have an answer,” he says softly. “Keep taking your time with him if that’s what you want.”

Feeling a sharp rush of emotions, you look up. “What I want?”

Taehyung pauses, gaze holding yours for a moment and although it makes you feel completely bare, you don’t look away. He nods again. “Only if it’s what you want.”

Slowly, you nod as well, gaze falling to your food.

“Sorry,” he says with an awkward laugh. “Did I make it awkward by asking that?”

Shaking your head, you smile. It is a little awkward, but it’s like you’ve never had awkward moments with him before. “No, I mean, as long as we don’t make it awkward.”

“You’re right, okay,” he nods, pushing his empty plate away from him as he leans on the table. “So Y/N, tell me about your day.”

“Well, it just started an hour ago.”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, deflating somewhat.

Fighting the part of you that wants to reach over and squeeze his cheek, you laugh quietly and ask him a question. “Why don’t you tell me about your day?”

“Well, I woke up early because I thought it was Thursday and Professor Clark is an ass to people who are late,” he says with much expression.

“Oh, he’s the one who embarrassed you a few weeks ago right?”

“Made fun of my clothes and all, just ‘cos I was ten minutes late,” Taehyung sulks.

“He’s not wrong though,” you say with a giggle. “Sometimes your clothes always look like your wearing pyjamas.”

Taehyung shoots you a look. “Being able to pull off comfort and style is a skill.” You shrug in response and he continues. “Anyway, then I realised it’s Tuesday and I don’t have class so I tried to go back to sleep but it didn’t work.”

You hum through a mouthful of food. “That’s annoying.”

“Trust me,” he sighs. “Then I just played PS4.”

You raise a brow. “All morning?”

He nods. “Had nothing else to do.”

“Could’ve worked on your assignment,” you say before taking the last sip of your coffee and slurping while keeping your brows raised at him pointedly and amused.

He narrows his eyes at you. “You’re reminding me of Clark.”

Laughing, you lower the empty glass to the table. “I’m way nicer than Clark. If he was here he’d probably call out the fact that you haven’t even combed your hair today.”

Taehyung groans. “C'mon man, I’m at home today.”

As you laugh again, you have to briefly avert your gaze as he throws his head back in mock annoyance.

“I didn’t say it looked bad,” you add. “It almost looks… cute.”

“You sure you’re not just saying that ‘cos it’s me?” he says with a cheeky raise of his brow.

Smiling plastically, you lean your elbows on the table. “Absolutely not. It’s the hair and the hair alone.”

Taehyung opens his mouth and before he can say anything else, Seokjin enters.

“Hey, guys,” he says, walking in casually.

Taehyung and you both respond in unison. “Hey.”

“Man, today has been a long morning,” he sighs, slumping into the seat beside Taehyung.

“Classes?”

“And work,” he mumbles.

“They should pay you overtime for the way they extort you, I swear,” Taehyung says, reaching to massage Seokjin’s shoulders.

“It sucks to be good at your job,” Seokjin mumbles again before sitting up in sudden frustration. “Oh and now they want me to work on the day of the boys’ Christmas party too!”

“Charlie’s?” you ask in surprise. Seokjin had made sure to have that evening off because it was the first time in a long time that Imani would be able to join him for a frat party.

He nods with a huff, slumping back into the chair. “I said no again though, but I gotta wait for management to get back to me.”

“Hopefully it’s okay,” you say, squeezing his arm. “If not, we’ll throw another party for you and Imani.”

Seokjin sits up, rounding his eyes at you. “You just threw my birthday party.”

“I’d do it again,” you answer with a shrug. “It’s kinda fun.”

Taehyung laughs. “You were stressed out for most of it.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you strive to make a point. “I still organised the whole thing with my fabulous management skills.”

Taehyung scoffs, hiding a smirk. “Okay miss management skills, your time management needs working on.”

“Huh?” you frown.

He arches his brow. “Don’t you have class in ten minutes.”

Eyes darting to the clock, you see it’s almost 1pm. With a string of curse words you’re rushing to your room and Taehyung laughs softly from behind you.

Getting dressed into decent clothing, you rush towards the front door and see Taehyung standing there with your favourite snack bar and a banana.

“In case you get hungry,” he says, zipping them into your bag as you slip into your shoes.

“Thanks,” you say in haste as you rush out the door. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he responds, watching you as you rush down the corridor.

It’s only when you’re sitting halfway through your lecture that you realise how natural that exchange felt, and the thought of it warms your heart.

It’s when you’re halfway through your work shift that you get a text from Ivan asking to meet. At first you’re confused because he never usually asks to meet so last minute, but then he sends a follow up text saying he has something he wants to talk about. The message sends your thoughts spiralling but you do your best to ignore it for the remainder of your shift and luckily you have Jimin to help with that.

But when you arrive at the agreed restaurant, it feels like there’s an elephant in the room as soon as you step foot inside.

“Hey,” you say, taking a seat at the table he’s at.

He looks up, a smile gracing his lips when he sees you. “Hey.” He gives you a brief hug as is normal when you greet him.

“You want anything to eat?” he asks almost right away.

“Uh,” you pause, glancing at the menu. “Are you gonna eat?

Realising you’re making the decision based on his, Ivan nods. “Yeah.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll get something too.”

Smiling, Ivan puts the menu in front of you ajd despite the feeling that he has something important he wants to say, you appreciate him trying to make you feel comfortable first.

Even when the food comes and you eat, he keeps the conversation going, smiling and laughing as he normally would.

It’s only when you’re done that you ask the question. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Ivan smiles, though this one is different to the ones you’ve seen before. It’s apologetic and seems a little sad.

“Us,” he says quietly. “Um, I don’t wanna beat around the bush so I’m just gonna be really honestly here, but I like you, Y/N.” He looks into your eyes when he says it and your stomach curls from guilt because in this exact second, you realise this reaction isn’t the right reaction to those words from the man you’re seeing — and in this moment, you realise you don’t want to be with Ivan.

As though he can read your mind, though you’re sure your expression gives away all thoughts, Ivan nods with an almost sad smile on his face.

“When I first started seeing you, I didn’t expect anything from us so soon but the more time I spend with you, the more I wanna know you, be with you.” Tentatively, he takes your hand and you let him. “I was happy with how things were going, but sometimes it felt like you were holding yourself back, and then yesterday happened,” he says, looking down at your joined hands. “I don’t need to ask to know what it meant, and honestly I just don’t know how to keep going when it feels like your heart isn’t in it,” he says with a quiet sigh.

Lowering your head, you bite your lip. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he says right away. “It’s really not your fault, I don’t want you to be sorry, please don’t be.”

Meeting his gaze, you see he’s smiling reassuringly and so you do too.

“Really, I’ll be okay, it’s definitely better for me to nip my feelings in the bud now and I’m glad I can be honest with you.”

Nodding, you squeeze his hand. “I should’ve said something sooner,” you sigh. “I guess I was just being selfish… you’re truly one of the sweetest guys I’ve known and it was unfair of me to hold onto you when I know I wasn’t ready for it.”

“I’m just not the right person, and that’s fine,” he says. “But I hope you do find what it is your heart wants, Y/N.”

Looking up at him, he gives you a knowing look.

“It’ll just take a little bit of courage from one of you, but I’m sure you’ll find exactly what it is you’re looking for.”

The words are said without explanation but you know exactly what they mean. Not only does it feel hard to hear them from Ivan, but knowing he’s known about your feelings for Taehyung this whole time just hurts.

Throwing your arms around him, you hold him in a long hug and fight the tears that want to spill. “I’m so sorry,” you mutter.

He pats your back and you hear him chuckle. “Don’t be sorry, I just want you to be happy, okay?”

Nodding, you hold him a little tighter before letting go. “Can we still be friends?” you say, voice breaking but you fight to keep yourself contained.

“Of course,” he laughs. “I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me.”

Sniffling, you nod. “Thank you. Me too,” you add. “I’ll be here for you whenever I can.”

He gives you a small smile and pulls you in for another hug. “Thank you for everything, Y/N.”

After almost forty minutes, you’re finally trudging up the steps to your apartment. Ivan had offered to drop you off home but you wanted the long walk home to maybe help in some way to deal with your emotions.

It didn’t really help though. Although you didn’t have romantic feelings for Ivan, you can’t help but feel a multitude of emotions about tonight.

Ivan honestly was a dream man, ticking so many of your boxes and more that you hadn’t even thought of. It definitely hurts to have lost him now but you still feel grateful for the time you had with him. Not only because he made you smile and laugh as much as he did, giving you a good few happy memories, but also, it’s because of him that you’ve realised the extent of your feelings for Taehyung and it’s almost made you feel more sure of yourself to tell him the truth.

If Ivan could see your feelings for Taehyung, surely he’s not wrong about Taehyung’s feelings for you?

Still, it doesn’t mean the thought of being honest with Taehyhng feels any easier, and truthfully, right now you don’t feel like admitting your feelings to him. It feels wrong to do so when you’ve just ended something that was undoubtedly special with Ivan.

Entering the pass for your apartment, you’re so consumed with your thoughts and the tempting call of your bed that you almost don’t notice Taehyung standing in the kitchen making a cup of tea.

“Y/N?”

His eyes are wide when you look at him, almost worried. Then they look you over and his face changes to one of concern. “Are you okay?” he asks, ignoring the cup of tea and rushing over.

For a second you wonder how he must know but then again, you did walk in practically sulking and after briefly tearing up a few times on the walk home, your eyes are probably red.

“Not really,” you mumble, sinking into his embrace. It feels so comforting and though your mind tells you it’s wrong to seek comfort from Taehyung now, you can’t help but notice how right it feels.

“Tae?”

That voice.

Going still in his arms, you look up towards the source of the sound, not noticing Taehyung has gone still too.

“Tae-tae.”

That voice — you know that voice, far too well.

Just as the mental image of her appears in your head, the woman herself appears in front of you, sauntering out of Taehyung’s room dressed only in his T-shirt.

“Oh, hello, Y/N.” She smiles like the cat that’s got the cream and boy, does she have the cream.

Letting out a slow breath, you feel yourself uncurling from Taehyung’s arms.

“Hi, Nisa.”

A/N: thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please reblog / leave a comment / send an ask! it means a lot <3

taglist is open

#btswritingcafe #thebtswritersclub #bangtanbathhouse #akademia net #ficscafe #btscreatorscorner #kim taehyung fanfiction #taehyung x reader #taehyung college au #taehyung x you #bts fanfiction #bts college au

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seungfiles · 1 year

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you and taehyung have a rather interesting dynamic, to say the least.

if you were to call constant bickering, a heated rivalry, and an incapability to behave civilly around one another 'interesting', then yes, precisely that.

it had all started with the pair of you both studying a master of music in jazz studies, where you found yourself glaring daggers at a shaggy-haired individual seated a few rows ahead in a lecture, whilst he contradicted one of your points regarding the presence of saxophones within orchestras. safe to say, kim taehyung had not known just how much you hated to be wrong, and the sheer length of time you could hold a grudge. in turn, you had not known what a stubborn, hot-tempered shithead he was.

and so began the intense animosity between the two of you, which admittedly made your saxophone theory professor tremble nervously down to his boots.

but you'd never realised before a certain point how much taehyung's words set off fiery sparks in your brain. it was... stimulating, to have someone challenge you, and make you think. or what a perfect slope his nose formed in his side profile, and the way the loose t-shirts you once so eloquently mocked for being 'ratty', hung perfectly on his slim figure. all of a sudden, taehyung's deep baritone voice made your toes curl with tension - not with annoyance.

oh. you think. i like him.

fuck.

{ taehyung doesn't quite know how to put it into words. he doesn't even know when his feelings shifted. he's only ever been good with music notes; he found his freedom in tracing the length of his saxophone, sounding out sweet melodies. so how is he meant to tell you that you make his heart sing? that you strum chords with his veins, and his blood hums whenever you're near? }

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ggukkiearchive · 2 years

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Pairing: Taehyung x Reader Author: Visual_Blurbs | thewanderingalias on tumblr (deactivated) Length: Two-shot | Part 1 of Taehyung's Toys Word Count: 13.6k Genre: fluff, romance, smut, strangers to lovers, antique shop au, college au, fuckboy(?) taehyung, established relationship (Part 2) Smut Tags/Warnings: none for Part 1

Summary:

Stumbling upon a hidden gem in the middle of an alleyway turns out to be the greatest discovery of your life.

#taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung ao3 fic recs #taehyung college au #taehyung established relationship #fic: the little blue shop on main street #thewanderingalias #ggukkiearchiveAO3 #author: Visual_Blurbs #visual_blurbs #author: thewanderingalias

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alexlwrites · 2 months

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𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬

✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: OT7 x Plus Size! Reader

✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: "What was so outrageous about someone like you, you asked yourself and the universe. You had tried your best to compensate for any shortcomings with everything else that was expected of you: femininity, understanding, a sense of humor. Never enough, those were never even the first thing that came to mind when people thought of you.

Why bother then? If nothing you did made any difference at all, why try? If people hated your body just for existing, why not give them a reason to hate your personality as well?"

The one where seven campus princes who are used to getting everything they wanted get enchanted by your distrust and brattiness, climbing over each other to get a smile from you who could not be bothered to give them a single second of your day.

✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU

✿ 𝑨/𝑵: I wanna leave this here as sort of a trigger warning: this work features a plus size main character and throughout the story there will be mean comments from characters about her body and her journey dealing with said comments. A lot of it comes from my own experience as a plus size girl myself and my path to living peacefully within my body. And although this work is about Y/N's relationship with the boys, I like to think that she still would've continued to grow and blossom happily on her own. Let this be something you learn from this fic, as I say right on the first chapter: You don't have to love the way you look right away, you just can't let it stop you from doing the things you want and, in a greater scale, from being happy and treated with respect.

Thank you for reading <3

P.S: Red daisies, like many red flowers, represent love and romance. Florists often use them to communicate affection to someone who doesn’t know how beautiful they are—a.k.a. beauty unknown to the possessor.

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi)

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

The pattern in your relationships - if you could call them that - was tiring, to say the least. Once, they might have been soul crushing, but time and repetition took away the novelty of your pain and now the endgame was a mild, resented disappointment.

It started with kindness and a gentle smile, mainly from your part. You treated anyone who gave you any smidgen of attention with the utmost sweetness, hoping your energy would be matched. And sometimes it was, for a while. Sometimes you got to be on the receiving end of a blinding smile or a casual touch and you allowed yourself to hope - no, pray -that that could be it. That someone, some modern day knight in shiny armor , saw through your looks and decided that you were deserving of love, despite societal norms,

But men had a way of setting you up for disappointment. A talent, truly.

You were tired, you decided that night. No, beyond that, you were exhausted, scarred, bitter, hopeless, resentful… You could keep going. You could list every bad feeling you had been carrying in your chest by alphabetical order or by how badly they hurt and honestly you just wanted it to stop.

Would you have to change everything about your body to be happy, you wondered watching the boy you had been seeing for a few weeks make fun of you in front of his circle of friends at the party you were both at. Would you never be allowed to be happy just the way you were?

Would you have to change everything about your body to be happy?

“Yeah, she’s nice” Junsuu said, winking suggestively at his giggling friends “if you know what I mean.” you felt your face heat up in humiliation at the renewed round of laughter “But we just don’t match, like, physically. You know, looks-wise.”

“Right” someone agreed way too enthusiastically, sending a spear through your heart “I really just can’t see you with someone like her.”

What was so outrageous about someone like you, you asked yourself and the universe. You had tried your best to compensate for any shortcomings with everything else that was expected of you: femininity, understanding, a sense of humor. Never enough, those were never even the first thing that came to mind when people thought of you.

Why bother then? If nothing you did made any difference at all, why try? If people hated your body just for existing, why not give them a reason to hate your personality as well?

“You’re right” you said out loud, drawing attention to yourself. Filled with hatred (for him, the world, the circumstances), your heart had no room to be mortified when all eyes turned to you “we don’t match.”

You watched as Junsuu’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting you to hear, much less reply “I am a big girl” you continued, words dripping with rage “And I know for a fact that there’s nothing big about you.”

You turned around to leave the room, cringing at the petty comeback, ignoring the murmurs and Junsuu’s panicked calls of your name. Walking fast, you fled the scene of the last heartbreak you would allow yourself to go through, deciding that a change was needed, but not the change everyone wanted from you.

Despite the rumors, you didn’t turn into a huge bitch overnight, didn’t start kicking puppies or spitting on the poor. Truly, the only thing you did was establish boundaries and reevaluate the amount of respect some people deserved, but very quickly people started seeing you as some sort of villain, especially when they realized how little you cared for how they saw you. How disrespectful of you to not allow yourself to be disrespected, right?

At first, there was still an air of uncertainty about you - years and years of non-reciprocal niceties drilled into your brain, habits hard to quit. But the more you let go of those things, these tiny acts of self-aggression disguised as pleasantries and altruism, the lighter you felt; Your days became easier to get through, existing within your body felt less and less like a punishment. You had yet to reach an Instagram-worthy level of body positivity, but you had become accustomed to body neutrality. You didn’t have to love the way you looked right away, you just couldn’t let it stop you from doing the things you wanted and, in a greater scale, from being happy and treated with respect.

And respect you started to demand and much happier you became, living in relative peace and solitude - safe by a few close friends - up until your days started being pestered by seven headaches you could not seem to shake away.

—-

Jungkook was the one that saw you first.

It was 3 weeks into the semester and he finally decided it was the perfect time to start going to classes, sitting in the back and only listening to about 25% of what was being said, mind floating towards more important subjects such as the package of ramen waiting for him at home. Only mildly interested in what the professor had to teach, he couldn’t help but to be startled when everyone started getting up from their seats to shuffle around the room. “What’s going on?” he asked the guy sitting next to him.

“Professor gave us a duo assignment.” the other man said, standing up “You're with Y/N.”

“Who?”

The guy just pointed towards you with his chin, redirecting Jungkook’s attention before leaving. You were sitting a couple rows further down, hunched over your little green IPad as you wrote something with impressive velocity. Jungkook walked over to you, already mentally going over what he would have to do to charm you into doing everything on your own “Y/N?” he called and you raised your head.

You were pretty, he noticed with satisfaction, all bright eyes and lovely features, curves everywhere he looked “Yes?”

“I’m Jungkook.” he extended his hand with a casual smirk “The professor put us together for this project.”

There had been a small, but pleasant and polite smile on your face up until he said those words, replaced by pursed lips and an arched brow. “Yes, I know. We’ve had classes together for over a year now and been partnered together before.”

Uh oh. “Right” he coughed awkwardly, fumbling under your hardened stare “so, about this project…”

“We will meet once a week,” you said, straightforward as you turned your eyes back to your sticker-filled IPad “I will go over the theme and split the work evenly, so give me your number and I can text you with what you’re supposed to do.”

“Woah, woah, asking for my number already?” he said in a flirting manner, sitting on top of your table so he could be directly in front of you.

“Would you prefer it if I emailed it to you?” you asked without looking up.

“Actually, I was thinking you could help me out a bit,” he placed his finger under your chin, raising your face towards him “you know I have soccer practice and…”

You pushed his hand away “Unless you’re playing at the World Cup, I can’t see how that would be more important than your studies, so you either do your part of the assignment or get an F in it, I don’t care. I won’t do all the work for you, Jeon. Not again.”

Again? Jungkook winced, trying to remember when you had met before. Surely he would remember getting his head bitten off by a snappy, pretty thing like you, wouldn’t he? Surely your attitude would stand out to him amongst all the sweetness and compliance he received just for existing and smiling.

“Here’s my number.” you gave him a piece of paper with your digits written in gel sparkly ink “Text me when you decide if you want to pass this class. Good day.”

You looked down again, going back to your notes, signing that the conversation was over before he even had the chance to add anything more. He jumped off the desk and stepped away, looking back to see if you were looking at him, but there wasn’t a single glance from your part.

Shit. Shit. He actually did have to pass this class, otherwise his overbearing soccer coach would kick him off the team. He stared down at your number, wondering what he would have to do to get you to cut him a little slack and forgive him for absolutely forgetting about your existence.

—

“Hey, this is Jungkook” the text from an unknown number said “looking forward to us working together. We should get dinner sometime, get to know each other better.”

You read over the text once more, willing your heart to slow down its beating. Sure, Jungkook was charming and handsome, but you had seen this dance before. He would talk his way into your good graces, making you laugh and giggle until you had a four thousand word essay done with both your names in it and your texts to him would go unanswered and unseen.

This was not your first hurtful rodeo. You put your phone away, facing down, ignoring as the poor device vibrated itself off the table with the upcoming texts.

Meanwhile, across campus, Jungkook was fuming.

“Or breakfast. We should get breakfast. I know a great place.” he tried once again, but his message was left unread. Still, he persisted.

“I have a lot of great ideas for this assignment. Don’t you want to know them?” he texted, even though he didn’t have the faintest idea on what the assignment was even about.

“You know, it’s rude to leave a guy hanging.”

“How can we do this if you won’t even text me back?”

“I thought we were in this together.”

“You know, like High School Musical.”

He kept typing out absurdity after absurdity, hoping you would dignify one with an answer. He just needed one opportunity, one opening…

His text stopped going through.

“She blocked me!” he gasped out loud.

“Who?” his roommate, Taehyung asked from where he laid on their couch, feet up on the coffee table.

“This girl in my class. We have this project together and she blocked me!”

Taehyung sent a disbelieving look his way “Were you actually planning to do the work?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously not.”

His friend rolled his eyes “Obviously not. So what’s your plan here?”

Jungkook didn’t answer, too busy looking for alternative ways to contact you. After a few minutes of research, he found your Instagram. You were cute, he noticed again, scrolling through your few posts, all relatively recent. You had a very specific style, a tasteful mix or dark and edgy with splashes of pink and bows, tight corsets under leather jackets that he couldn’t help but stare appreciatively, the flattering material clinging to your waist line and pushing your breasts up, exposing the soft freckled top of cleavage to his always hungry eyes. In your pictures, your eyes shone brightly, crinkling at the sides from your ever present smile and he could not understand why you hadn’t directed one of those to him.

It was unsettling, to say the least, but he could not allow his annoyance to take over. He needed your help if he wanted to pass that class and if he had to use unconventional ways to get your attention, he would.

And so, much like a little boy pulling at a girl’s braids, he started liking and spamming the comments of every single post you had.

—

There were whispers all around you, your worst nightmare.

You were at the school library, getting work done while drinking from your fourth cup of coffee, hands shaking due to caffeine and anxiety, your ever present friends. You tried to focus on your books and carefully written notes, but every word you could barely hear and every look you felt over your shoulder seemed to dig claws into your skin. You knew what they were saying. You heard it all the way from your dorm to your classes and couldn’t seem to escape them.

“Did you see Jungkook’s comments on her pictures? What’s that about?”

“It’s not like there’s a lot to comment, is there?”

“Maybe he thought it was someone else?”

“It’s probably a prank.”

“I bet he was hacked.”

Of course, why else would someone like Jungkook - a campus prince, popular soccer player, heartthrob - show interest in you?

It hurt, but a small part of you still agreed with those mean spirited whispers. You closed your eyes, trying to even your breathing and will those thoughts away. You knew better, had learned better than to measure your value by how interested some boy was in you.

When you opened your eyes again, Jungkook was in front of you.

You barely had time to process his presence when the voices picked up volume, your skin prickling and eyes aching to remain dry.

“What’s Jungkook doing with Fat Y/N?”

That word shouldn’t be as hurtful as it was - after all, it was just an adjective, just the current state of your body that served only to carry your thinking mind, your feeling heart. But people always said it like a curse, wielding it like a sword.

You closed your eyes again and when you opened once more, Jungkook was still there. Looking furious.

“What are they saying?”

“What they always said” you shrugged, avoiding his eyes by looking down at your papers.

Jungkook didn’t move for a while, hearing people pretend to whisper around you but it was clear that the motherfuckers wanted you to hear. Was it always like this for you, he wondered, watching as you focused on whatever book you had in front of you, hunched over with tense shoulders, your face a far cry from the luminescent one he saw on your Instagram, not a hint of that smile he wanted directed at him so unreasonably.

He couldn’t just stand there and watch you struggle to keep your posture.

You felt him standing up and leaving more than you saw him. Good, you thought. He should leave, like everyone did, scared away by that one word that followed you around like a brand. He was probably embarrassed to be seen with you, you assumed bitterly, and there was no place in your life for people who didn’t want you proudly by your side…

Jungkook sat back in the chair in front of you and you couldn’t help but gape at the impressive bouquet of red daisies he extended towards you.

“Take it” he said, but you couldn’t move, could barely hear the furious voices around you over the roaring beat of your heart.

You… You had never gotten flowers.

“Take it” he repeated “I almost got run over because of this, the least you can do is accept it.”

“Jungkook” you whispered, dumbfoundedly accepting the bouquet “what’s this?”

“People keep doubting I could be interested in you” he said and there was an edge to his tone you did not expect “maybe this could help clear up some rumors.”

“This is not your battle to fight” you held the flowers close to your chest carefully, looking up at him with distrust, unable to understand his motives “I’m used to this sort of thing and I don’t care about those stupid rumors.”

You were used to it? That just made Jungkook angrier. How could you be used to that sort of treatment?

Jungkook was a lot of things - spoiled, a little lazy, sometimes a dick. But he wasn’t a bigot and he wasn’t about to stand around and let you become used to being disrespected if there was something - anything! - he could do about it “I like picking up fights”.

“Is this just pity?” you asked and he could see walls around you that stood thousands of feet tall “Is this because of that stupid assignment? Because I’m not going to do all the work just because you got me some flowers…”

He raised his hands and smiled at you “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll do my work” he said, a new goal in mind as he saw you recoil from him with eyes filled with wariness like a suspicious kitten “You said once a week, right? How’s friday for you?”

You still clung to your bouquet like a lifeline “That works, I guess.”

“Great!” he clapped loudly, standing up and catching the eye of those around him “I’ll see you around, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart” you mumbled, but he pretended not to hear as he crossed the table around to your side, quickly leaving a kiss to your heated cheek before you had the chance to react.

“Alright, sweetheart, I’ll see you around” he said, making sure everyone in the library could hear him “do me a favor and unblock me, ok?”

You flipped him off, both for stealing a kiss and that stupid nickname, but he just laughed it off.

“That’s my girl” he said and the library erupted in renewed whispers.

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝

°•. ✿ .•°

[Red Daisies taglist: @purplelady85 ]

[Permanent taglist: @imknewattis ; @dreamamubarak ; @onlythebest-106 ; @betysotelo18 ; @havetaeminforbreakfast ; @uno7 ; @chimchimmarie ; @anaya123world ; @junecat18 ; @kayleefriedchicken ; @jkselcouth ; @ivrose21 ; @svnbangtansworld ]

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts #jungkook x reader #alexl red daisies #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #bts x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #park jimin x reader #kim namjoon x reader #jung hoseok x reader #min yoongi x reader #kim seokjin x reader #ot7 fluff #bts romance #bts college au

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bangficsx · 8 months

Text

OVERLOVED

pair : jjk x y/n

genre : roommates to lovers, fake dating, slow burn, smut, fluff, bantering, pining, yearning, college students, aspirant professor jk, aspirant journalist y/n, reader is a child of divorce, both have trust issues, mild angst, sexual exploration, first love, impromptu dates, soulmates.

synopsis : you meet jungkook when you're trying to find another tenant for a spare room in the house you rent a room in, you have to lie to get your landlord to let him stay. Life turns upside down from there.

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READ IT ON WATTPAD ( completed)

#bts #bts smut #bts series #bts stories #bts fanfic #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook smut #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook soulmate au #jungkook college au #jeon jeongguk #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim taehyung #jk x reader

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explicit-tae · 1 year

Text

Unusual Suspects

You were always told that the internet wasn't a safe space and to be careful who you were talking to. Namjoon, your crush of years, was someone you thought was a safe haven - until you realized he wasn't the man you adored but instead a catfish pretending to be him. Now, said catfish is determined to ruin your life and the life of your childhood best friend, Taehyung, for their own sick pleasure.

Warning: yandere themes, catfishing, blackmailing, coercion, namjoon x reader, sexting, sextoys, squirting, fingering, sexual enhancement, voyeurism, cursing, reader is naive of course, fingering, nipple sucking, creampie, backshots, oral (f receiving), humiliation kink, blackmailing,

Word Count: 6,856

@bloodline1632 @darkuni63 @seokjinkismet @castlewolfsbane

'I always thought you were beautiful.'

Your smile slowly widens as you read the message on your phone.

Namjoon was - in your eyes - the man of your dreams. He was the definition of tall, dark and handsome. Perfect smile with the same perfect set of teeth. Dimples cheeks so deep, you swear you could probably cuddle in them - of course not literally. Overall, Namjoon was the whole package. He was intelligent, studying English at a neighboring university.

You began speaking with him around three months ago. You were already too timid to introduce yourself when you met him officially three months before that at a party (via your best friend, Taehyung). They weren't close, friendly acquaintances at best.

When you got a message from an instagram account claiming to be Namjoon, you were over the moon. The account had several hundred followers and many pictures that you never questioned if it was him or not. As the both of you spoke often, you received pictures from Namjoon personally - pictures of him at museums or taking walks at parks.

You weren't opposed in sending your own pictures of you visiting museums, as well, or strolling through gardens or frequenting cafes and bookstores. Namjoon was a good conversationist. There was never a dull moment when they both of you were immersed in your conversations about life and any and everything.

The intimate pictures came recently, Namjoon sending one first. A picture of him laying down, clothed bulge on display. The sight of it makes your mouth water and thighs clench. You were hesitant to send your own pictures, but you do. You were self-conscious about your body. You never were sure if you had the flat stomach, decent size breast and butt. However, sitting and dwelling on it would do nothing but make you insecure so you sent the picture.

You didn't regret it when Namjoon sends a flood of messages claiming that you were beautiful, comparing your beauty to goddess and even angels. You were flattered and it causes you to send even more pictures - each one becoming more explicit and raunchier.

It didn't stop at pictures. He'd send you videos of him, claiming that your beauty was what caused him to touch himself. He'd send you videos of him pumping his cock in the camera, heavy breathing in the background. He asks you to do the same and when you do, you feel unsure. You never touched yourself on camera; and even if you, you'd never send it to anyone.

Vaginas weren't appealing to you. You didn't enjoy touching yourself without a toy because of the wetness it caused, but for Namjoon you would. The sensation was weird at first but knowing that Namjoon would enjoy your videos doesn't cause you to stop. You plunge your fingers in and out of you, breathing deeply until you're moaning his name.

Each video session you sent one another, you became more comfortable. You appeared naked more often than not, nipples erect and more willing to add your face into said videos - even if Namjoon never did.

You were hesitant to tell Taehyung. He has been your best friends since childhood and any crush you had he never approved of. When you'd attempt to date, he'd claim that he was a male and understood how males worked. He'd never stopped you from dating but wasn't one to not say "I told you so" when the boys you chose weren't who they said they were.

Taehyung had caught you one night. The both of you live together in an apartment a few blocks away from the University you attended. You were careless this time. Taehyung being one of your closest friends, he didn't care much for personal space. He'd walk in on you while you showered and speak to you as if nothing was wrong. He'd walk around in his underwear and even walk into your room without as much as knocking. There had been many times Taehyung had caught you masturbating - this time it felt more humiliating because you were recording.

Taehyung wasn't going to let it go until you told him who you were sending those videos to, so when you did, you can see the glint in his eyes. He wasn't thrilled about you sending pictures to Namjoon, but you were a grown woman. You could do whatever you wanted and what you were doing wasn't illegal. Besides, Namjoon was a good guy unlike the others you were interested in.

You and Namjoon never spoke on the phone, nor spoke face to face - even though Facetime. You tried, but it failed each time. Namjoon claimed to never have the time and you were understanding - Taehyung not so much. But you were adamant about Namjoon being who he says he was. He posted regularly on his instagram and on his stories - the bike rides were your favorite.

'Do you like the gift?'

The message reads.

'I can't wait to see you ride it.'

You only agreed in riding the sex toy Namjoon had sent to you if you could do it on facetime. You had called and was surprised that he answered. It was dark but you could see his dimples even in the dark. Namjoon turns the camera to his exposed cock and you felt compelled to ride the cock he sent; your mind fantasizing that it was him you were riding.

Your pussy clenches around the dildo, juices sliding down the shaft of the large cock you rode. You moan each time your crash down on it - Namjoon's muffled moans in the background as you do so. He's currently pumping his cock roughly, eyes stuck on your tight pussy.

You moan his name loudly, not caring if Taehyung was home and could hear you. He would surely never let you live this down, but you were determined to cum with Namjoon.

You do cum, juices flooding out of you, and you release one last high pitch moan.

Taehyung does indeed laugh at you, making his own high-pitched moans imitating your own.

Taehyung begins to miss you. You were his best friend, someone who would always be there when he needed you. He took your time for granted. You had boyfriends and lovers, sure, but they never took up much of your time.

Namjoon, however, had. You'd often be on your phone when you were home, eyes glued to the screen completely. Your signature movie marathons were interrupted when the notification from your phone went off. You'd be smiling ear to ear and suddenly, he was second place.

You and Taehyung couldn't as much as play Mario Kart without you pausing to send a message to Namjoon and now, you were working his nerves. You were always his number one girl - hell, his number one person. As much as he had girlfriends, he'd never let them come between your friendship. His former girlfriends never understood that you were his best friend and came first - maybe that's why he was single now.

"We need to talk." Taehyung pipes up one day during dinner. You were both eating burgers and the constant sound of your phone going off was driving him irate.

You furrow a brow at Taehyung but nod.

"Are you sure you're speaking with Namjoon?"

You stop chewing. You turn towards him on the couch and stare for a few moments.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N." Taehyung rolls his eyes. "You said you never seen in face during these calls."

Maybe Taehyung was being picky and possibly confrontational. However, your well-being was his top concern. There was a possibility that whoever you were conversing with could be a creep using your naivety to their advantage.

"You do this all the time, Tae." You murmur, voice low. You no longer have an appetite.

"Y/N..." Taehyung sighs. He understands that tone in your voice. "I don't mean to hurt you-"

"You think Namjoon could never like me." you shrug your shoulders, biting your lip. "No man can ever like me in your eyes."

"That's not true!" Taehyung exclaims. He places his plate on the coffee table and turns to you fully. "I love you, Y/N. You know this. I just don't want you to be taken advantage of."

Taehyung was no fighter, but if your well-being was compromised, he would. He was a man, after all, and men had sick thoughts. Some thoughts he would never bring to the light, but they remained there, nonetheless. He'd hate to see you in a situation that could bring you to a depressive state.

"I just miss you. I miss us." Taehyung leans back into the couch and releases a sigh. "You're always talking to Namjoon and you never have time for me anymore."

"Aww," you began to smile. "Tae Tae!" you laugh. You lean forward to wrap your friend into a hug. "You missed me this much?"

Taehyung chuckles. "I hate you." he responds, but he returns your hug, nonetheless.

Taehyung was jealous, he'd admit. He'd never felt as if he'd ever lose you to another man before.

But Taehyung understood that one day you'd need to find a partner and eventually, you'd get married and have a family of your own. There would come a time where Taehyung won't be the most important person in your life anymore, and though it'll hurt, he'd have to get over it.

"You know I'd never leave you behind, Tae." you tell him, assuring. You lean back from the embrace. "Do you...think it's Namjoon?"

Taehyung bites his lips. He's unsure himself. A part of him wants to believe that Namjoon is the man you're speaking with. But he was sure this could be an episode of Catfish. You rarely speak to him on the phone, and when you do manage to facetime him, his face is never in the camera.

Taehyung swallows. "Well..." he trails off. "Why don't you ask to meet up?" Namjoon lives in the same city and goes to a neighboring university. Meeting up wouldn't be anything difficult if he is who he claims to be.

"I tried." you nod your head. "He...he says he's busy with school work and-"

"Y/N." Taehyung interrupts. "What did I tell you?"

You roll your eyes and groan out, "If a man wants to see me-"

"He'd make the effort to." Taehyung finishes with a nod. "Now, maybe this is Namjoon. But if you're going to keep fucking yourself-"

You widen your eyes and yelp. "Shut up!" you slap his shoulder.

Taehyung released a loud, deep laugh. "Don't hit me! I'm just saying, Y/N. You can't keep doing this virtual relationship when we live in the same city as the man."

You knew Taehyung was right. There's been many offers on your part to meet up, but they were always shut down. You tried to be supportive and understanding, but it was frustrating.

"Do you think he has a girlfriend, maybe?"

"Please don't put those thought in my head." you groan out, hands on your head now. "I cannot imagine being the other woman, Tae Tae."

Taehying shakes his head. "I'm just curious. Nothing more, nothing less." he assures. He knew what you were when you got into your own head. "Let's go out. It's happy hour."

You snicker. "You don't drink often."

"Duh." Taehyung responds matter-of-factly. "Half off all smoothies. Let's go, we only have about 30 minutes left."

This is what you adored about Taehyung. He was spontaneous in a way. He wasn't like other men and was a nerd at heart. You two had traditions. Every Monday there was a movie marathon you both attended in the living room - you both had later classes and didn't need to work. Wednesdays were considered errand day. Taehyung claimed to hate this day, but he never allowed you to hold a bag from the grocery store after running around throwing everything in the cart.

Taehyung was your best friend and you're grateful that you met him many years ago; and just as grateful that you maintained the friendship even into your adulthood.

"Y/N, open the door!"

You lean against the bathroom door, tears trailing down your eyes at an alarming pace. Your hands tangle in your hair and you're doing everything in your power to calm your breathing.

You're embarrassed.

You're traumatized.

You're disgusted with yourself more than anything.

Taehyung continues to knock on the door in hopes you'd open up to him. He hated seeing you cry. You appeared vulnerable and fragile. But he was your best friend and needed to help you through your pain.

You fingers pull your hair at the scalp while you attempted to drown out Taehyung's knocks and calls.

You were wrong about him - Namjoon. You couldn't face Taehyung now. You were positive that he wouldn't laugh in your face about how you were wrong about him. However, you wish that the ground would crumble up and swallow you whole.

While Taehyung and you were out getting smoothies, his eyes had caught an interesting site. Namjoon wasn't someone that you could miss easily. He was as tall as he was clumsy, and clumsy he surely was. Him dropping three smoothies onto the ground as soon as he got it causes Taehyung to offer help.

Taehyung and he chatted for a few moments, laughing at how clumsy he was. They weren't friends, but they weren't strangers.

That was your moment to enter. Maybe he didn't see you there with Taehyung. When else would you get the opportunity to meet with him? You introduced yourself and Namjoon offers a wide dimpled smile that faded each moment as you began to speak. He was confused - genuinely confused on what you were speaking of.

"You were talking to me?" Namjoon ponders aloud. "I-I...don't think it was me."

You felt hot upon hearing the words. The confusion on his face, mixed with the hesitance in his voice. He was telling the truth. He didn't know who you were in the slightest.

"Hold on!" Namjoon calls, but you sprint out of the cafe. Taehyung follows close behind you.

"Open the door, Y/N. Please talk to me." Taehyung is begging now, pleading with everything in him for you to speak with him.

Taehyung steps back when the door swings open. Your eyes were puffy, and cheeks stained with tears. He steps forward to engulf you in a hug, but you step around him. You make a dash to you into your room, but Taehyung is trailing close behind you. As you try to slam your door, Taehyung pushes his way through. "Ignoring me won't make it go away."

"I don't want to talk." you cry. It was bad enough that you had to deal with the fact that you were dumb enough to believe Namjoon would talk to you. Now, having to face Taehyung - someone who voiced his own concerns about it - was just a slap to the face.

"Y/N. I'm your friend!" Taehyung hisses. He doesn't mean for his words to come off harsh, but he would be damned if he allowed you to be alone in your own self-pity. "Let me comfort you."

And you do. Taehyung doesn't speak when you cry into his chest. He was sure his shirt would be covered in tears and snot by the time you were done, but nothing a little laundry detergent and water could help.

Taehyung rubs your back soothingly when you calm down. He doesn't push you to talk to him right away. He understands your hurt - he only wish he could take your pain away.

"I feel so stupid." you murmur after an hour. Taehyung and you now laid upon your bed, your head on his shoulder. "Namjoon must think I'm a loser."

"He doesn't." Taehyung responds. "He looked concern. I didn't have a chance to speak with him." You were his main concern, but he'll have to get in contact with Namjoon and explain the situation sooner or later.

"You were right." you bitterly scoff. "I showed my body to some creep like a whore."

"Stop it, Y/N. You aren't a whore." Taehyung turns to you. He's glad you aren't crying anymore, but he wasn't going to listen to you insult yourself. "You were catfished. it happens to all of us. Block that person immediately."

And you do. You were hesitant in the beginning. A part of you wanted to believe that the person you were speaking with was indeed Namjoon, but you understood you had to do what was best - which was blocking the catfisher. It shouldn't be anything to question. It was the obvious thing to do, but you can't stop yourself from feeling empty afterwards.

Taehyung on the other hand decided that he needed to keep you at eye level. He didn't wish to smother you - being overly affectionate about your situation would only make you think about the situation more often. But he knew he needed to be there for you as much as you'd let him.

A week thus far had passed, and Taehyung is unsure how you're handling everything. He's sure you're choosing to ignore everything. each moment he'd ask if you're alright, you'd brush him off as if it was obvious that you were indeed alright. "Why wouldn't I be?" you'd ask in response. Why wouldn't you be alright? You were catfished by who the hell knows. This person has your nudes plastered all over their phone. It would be traumatizing for anyone.

Another week passes and you're walking alongside Taehyung to your joint apartment. You're content that he hasn't spoken about the situation. You were glad you had a Taehyung in your life that cares for you, but you needed nothing more than to move on from this situation.

Taehyung presses the buttons to the apartment to unlock it. He twists the door and swings it open. He flicks on the lights and halts in his tracks.

You push around him to enter. Your eyes catch the scene before you and you suddenly feel sick to your stomach.

"Y/N..."

You don't respond to Taehyung. Instead, your eyes are flickering to the countless pictures hanging in the apartment - all of you. The same pictures you sent to the catfisher.

'Who the hell are you?'

The last thing you wanted to do was get in contact with someone you never wanted to speak with again. This same someone could be someone dangerous and deranged.

How the catfisher managed to figure out where you lived to just display countless pictures of you - the same ones you sent to them - was psychotic behavior.

Taehyung had watched you break down one too many times, but this was different. You cried even harder as you snatched all the pictures and crumbled them in your hands. He's unsure what to do - how to comfort you. He's breathing heavily and he's attempting to rack his brain around this situation.

Taehyung asks if you'd like to go to the police station and report this. It was stalking and harassment, surely there was something that could be done. But you turned the idea down. You were humiliated. How could you go to someone and admit that you were catfished in the most obvious way and now being tormented?

Your hands snatch your phone from your bed once you received a notification. It was them.

You read the message while licking your lips in anticipation.

'Hello, Y/N.'

You're pissed now. Why were they responding as if nothing was gone?

'I'm sure you feel stupid.'

They were taunting you now. As if you were some type of joke in their sick game.

'What do you want from me?'

You hesitantly wait for a response. You're unsure if you want to know. The type of material they had on you was enough to ruin your life.

'To embarrass you.'

Your eyes begin to water. You're racking your brain to figure out what you did to deserve this? Did they know who you were personally? You weren't one to be rude to anyone, even when they deserved it. You've gone to restaurants where your order has been royally fucked up and you've never complained. You were polite when needed to. At your own job, the customers and their attitudes were off the wall, however, you could never bring yourself to give the same energy they gave.

'You've allowed me to embarrass you. You've sent me these pictures. They belong to me now.'

Your stomach churns.

'And you also belong to me now.'

Taehyung knocks at your door. He hasn't heard from you in hours. He told himself it was best to leave you be for a while, but a while has passed. He feared you would hurt yourself. No, you never did anything to hurt yourself before, but you've never been through anything such as this.

Taehyung twists your doorknob and pokes his head in. The room is dark, but he can see your body curled on your bed, head faced down. He hears slight sobs, and he feels horrible. "Y/N?" he calls, stepping forward. "Don't cry."

It was easier said than done. It wasn't Taehyung being harassed by a random person who knew a little too much about you.

"We're going to get through this." Taehyung places a hand on your back and begins to rub. "We can go to the police-"

"No." you jolt up and shake your head. You proceed to wipe your eyes. "They h-have pictures and videos and..."

"Sshh..." Taehyung shakes his head. "I understand but-"

"But they own me." you scoff bitterly. "They said...they said I have to do things for them. Him. Them...I don't even know if it's one person or not."

Taehyung furrows a brow. "Do things for them? What the hell do they want?" he hisses.

You begin to cry harder. You wanted to vomit all over the place. You feel your heart begin to break at what your life was becoming.

"Tell me, Y/N." Taehyung's voice becomes louder with authority. "What do they-"

Taehyung hears another notification. It's not your phone, but his own. He looks down at his phone and shakes his head. "I don't understand."

Your eyes watch as Taehyung opens the message and begins to read.

'Hello, Taehyung. You claim to love Y/N and would do anything for her, what are you willing to do to get her out of trouble?'

"What trouble, Y/N?" Taehyung flickers his eyes from his phone screen to you. "You can come to me for anything, you know that, right?"

"I can't-"

"Y/N you can!" Taehyung hisses, but another message comes before he can continue.

'You two are best friends, are you not? How friendly are you?'

"What does he mean?" Taehyung scans your frightened expression.

"He wants you to..." you feel sick, lightheaded. "to...he wants to watch you and me..."

Taehyung's expression turns from confused to puzzled in a matter of seconds at the realization.

'I bet you're asking what I get out of this. I like to see people like you squirm. You don't deserve this, of course, but bad things always happen to good people.'

"There has to be a way to track these people." Taehyung scoffs in disbelief. There wasn't a way they were going to blackmail the two of you.

"I-I tried...I-I-"

"Calm down." Taehyung places a hand on your knee. "It'll-"

Taehyhung's phone rings in his hands. It's the same unknown person and he answers immediately. He was ready to cuss and scream at whoever it was, but they're speaking before him.

"You can do as I say or everyone in your contacts - both of your contacts - will know of these pictures."

Your breath hitches in your throat. You don't recognize the voice, but it appears to be using a face tone either way, possibly through an app.

"If you choose to do as I say, I will send you a link to a livestream."

"L-Livestream?" you choke. Who the hell would be watching?

"Don't worry, only I would be attending."

"What are we expected to do?" Taehyung murmurs.

"You know. Fuck her."

You began to cry.

"You may say you're just friends, but how could you not want to fuck her when your room is exactly besides hers?"

Taehyung's fists clench.

"Do you hear her fucking herself-"

"Stop!" Taehyung hisses. "What do you want? Money?"

"If I wanted money, I'd ask for money." the voice offers a deep chuckle. "I want to see how much of a slut she is."

Your tears are falling effortlessly down your cheeks.

"If she could bare it all for me and she wasn't certain who I truly was, what is she willing to do with someone she's known for years?"

"We don't have to do this."

You're trembling, unable to look Taehyung in the eye. You feel naked before him - and technically you are. You were by no means insecure when it came to Taehyung. He's seen you down to your bra, but that was because you were drunk out your mind. Your intoxicated state had vomited all over yourself, the floor and the surrounding people.

This? This was different. Taehyung had never seen you in lingerie before and you're sure he didn't want to. Your arms were crossed over your chest, the lingerie you wore clinging onto your skin uncomfortably. It was lacy and black, and you're positive that it would be a set you adored if you weren't forced into.

You were shocked by Taehyung agreeing to the terms of the pyscho catfisher. In the beginning, you had concluded he only did so because you were a crying mess at the catfishers words. But when the catfisher had contacted the both of you once more a week later, Taehyung had not gone against his word. Even with the amount of demands they had - you wearing a specific lingerie that you sent to you. They have given both you and Taehyung sexual enhancements - liquid shots that you were instructed to take over 20 minutes ago on a livestream.

You owned a laptop, but Taehyung owned a desktop setup that he was instructed to connect to a larger monitor so the catfisher could comment while being a creep and watching.

You glanced at Taehyung and sniffled. He wore nothing but his boxer and though you never thought about Taehyung sexually, you couldn't help your eyes from wandering. You blamed the sexual enhancement.

A notification sounds from the monitor. Your head snaps to it, reading what the catfisher has written.

'You two are boring.'

Taehyung scoffs. He turns his head towards you once more. "Y/N..."

'We don't have to do this.' But you did need to do this. The threats and harassment were becoming unbearable. If they needed to see you embarrass yourself and possibly ruin your friendship with Taehyung, then so be it.

"You need to fuck me, Tae."

Before Taehyung can react, another comment comes from the voyeuristic catfisher.

'I want to see foreplay. Sex isn't enjoyable without it.'

You gulp. You inhale deeply and exhale slowly. You haven't had sex with a man in almost a year. By the look of Taehyung's underwear, your dildo could not prepare you enough.

'You already took the enhancements. Make this worth your while.'

Taehyung turns to you fully. He's attempted as much as he could to not look at you. He wasn't a pervert - especially to you. He loved you. You weren't the typical fuck to him. "Try...laying down."

You nod your head. You allowed your arms to fall to your sides. Taehyung himself blames the sexual enhancement he took. Had your body always been this inviting?

"W-What are we gonna do?" you murmur to him, laying down on his bed. You feel awkward and wanted to die on the spot.

"Relax." Taehyung responds. He places a hand on your knee and gently rubs it. "I'll never hurt you, Y/N, baby."

You feel the gush rush between your legs. Goosebumps run up your arms and shakingly release a breath. Taehyung's voice could possibly never be this deep before.

"You trust me, don't you?" Taehyung kneels down, brown eyes staring into yours. When you nod your head, Taehyung offers a small smile. "Open your legs."

The lace allows Taehyung to get a glimpse at how wet your pussy was. He grunts lowly, tongue poking out to wet his lips.

Your back arches when you feel Taehyung send a kiss on your clothed clit. You head is spinning - this was your best friend. You could even consider Taehyung to be like a brother, now you're not so sure.

Taehyung rubs his lips against your clothed clit, his cock twitching in his underwear. It's tight and needs to be torn off, but you weren't someone he would fuck into the mattress like a savage. He had to prep you first. Your scent is inviting - it makes his mouth water.

You can feel Taehyung's finger push the lace panty aside. You're fully exposed in front of him now.

Taehyung doesn't hold back. He licks a slow stripe up your clit and watches your reaction. It causes him to lick and suck when he notices you're just as into as he is - this frightens him. Taehyung suckles on your clit - his best friends clit - so savagely that his sucking is echoing off his bedroom walls.

You tell yourself that this is a onetime thing - that this could never happen again. It was the sexual enhancement that has Taehyung so deep into your pussy that you're enjoying it.

Your moans send Taehyung over the edge. He hooks his hands beneath your knees and locks you in place so he could continue to suck on your clit. He watches you, mouth agape and moaning for him so loudly that he's leaking like a teenager in his underwear.

"Tae..." you gasp his name, flinching at the overstimulation. "....fuck."

Taehyung lifts his head and licks his lips. "Are you okay, baby?"

You moan again because shit, Taehyung was sexy. You never thought this man was anything but your cute best friend who enjoyed playing dorky games and even more dorky hobbies. Was this what his former girlfriends experienced?

Taehyung enters two fingers inside of you. He pumps slowly, astonished at how wet and tight you were.

It's amazing that the both of you were forgetting the camera recording the livestream, but you two will blame the sexual enhancement.

"You're so wet, baby." Taehyung hisses, pumping his fingers faster. "So wet and so beautiful."

You groan, eyes squeezed shut. Your legs are quivering.

Taehyung's free hand allows your leg to fall. His hand snatches at the bra of your lingerie and tugs. He needed to suck on your breast - plump and ready. Your nipples are erect for him when he snatches them out and he doesn't hesitate to suck on them.

You can't hide your moans any longer. Your breast was a sensitive area, and Taehyung doesn't slow when he's sucking.

Taehyung's breathing quickens, sweat trickling down his forehead. He can sense that you were close to cumming just from how tight your pussy clenches around his fingers. He couldn't wait to be able to fuck you.

"You're going to cum all over my fingers, aren't you?" Taehyung's sucking extends outside of your nipples. He's biting your breast, appearing completely animalistic, and leaving behind marks and bruises.

"Yes, I'm gonna cum." you nod your head, hips wiggling to get away from the sensation. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." you hiss, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

The sound of the squirt sprouting out mixed with your sudden screams are a perfect melody, perfectly in sync. The bed is wet, as are you and him.

“I’m gonna fuck you." Taehyung hisses, pushing his underwear down.

Taehyung is huge. His cock is sprung, pink and veiny. It was perfect.

Taehyung places the tip of his cock on your clit and groans. "Fuck, baby, you're so sexy." he murmurs, eyes glued on your wet, glistening clit. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

You nod without a thought. If he could finger fuck you into oblivion, you had a wild ride ahead of you.

Taehyung enters you and hisses. There was no time to hesitate. He fucks into you deeply, hands clenching your hips. He lifts your hips so that he has full control to get deeper inside of you.

"Shit." you moan, shaking your head. Your eyes catch on the site, Taehyung so focus on his thrusts that he doesn't notice you observing him.

Taehyung was so beautiful, so caring. You couldn't think of another man that you loved more than Taehyung.

Taehyung bites his lips, eyes flickering to yours. His heart jumps to find your eyes - filled with lust - already on him. "Feels good?" he smirks, nails digging into your skin deeper.

"I love you, Tae." you slur your words, you're positive you could cum again right now.

Taehyung halts his thrusts. "Huh?"

"I love you." you sigh. "Please don't stop." you beg.

You loved him.

Taehyung knows this. Of course you love him. You two were best friends - the bestest of friends.

But this confession of love appeared personal.

"I love you, too, baby." Taehyung flips you around. He slams your face into his bed. Your ass is in the air, and he sends a quick slap upon it before entering you again. "How much do you love me?"

You're unable to give a response with the power in his thrusts. Your hands clench his bedsheets.

"I love you so much, Tae." you moan, eyes squeezed shut. He was fucking too good that you couldn't do anything but say you loved him. You're unsure if a man has ever made you feel as good as Taehyung did - and that was deadly. This was someone you'd had to look at once the sexual high (and enhancement) wore off.

Taehyung groans, hips snapping into you. His right hand slaps your cheek. "Say it again, baby. Say you love me."

You enjoyed being hit, Taehyung notes, you clench around him.

"I-I love you...." you're cumming and moaning uncontrollably.

Taehyung was near himself. You sounded so beautiful; your pussy was amazing. Your body captivates him and he surely did adore you. The sayings were correct - sex with those you loved was far more intimate when it was with someone you loved.

Taehyung shoots his cum inside of you, cursing as he does so. His cum shoots out of you and it drips down your clit and onto his bedsheets.

You fall into the bed, breathing deeply. Your eyelids were heavy.

Taehyung falls besides you and wraps an arm around your waist.

Namjoon hands squeezes the tip of his cock, his eyes are glues to the screen. He came just in time with you and Taehyung, the sight amazing. He continues to eye his screen to see the both of you soundly asleep, forgetting about you livestream show they put on for him.

Namjoon was but a man. People would say he was a sick bastard if he found out what he was doing, but he wouldn't call himself sick. He was just...a man. He had needs like the rest of the men around the world had. Sure, maybe what he was doing wasn't necessarily "human decency" but he couldn't help his self.

Namjoon understood that he had a problem at a young age. He loved to see women in positions such as this - humiliated. Degraded. Helpless.

Namjoon once attempted to get help. He spoke to therapist about his sadism. He didn't want to hurt people, no, but watching and enjoying people be humiliated brough him great pleasure.

Namjoon was a voyeur. He adored being able to sit and attend the sex parties. The gangbangs were his favorite - the sight of a woman being completed used for pleasure brought him over the edge. He understood he was a sick individual, but he was far too deep into this.

Namjoon groans, pumping his cock in his hand at the site of Taehyung pounding inside of you. It was obvious the sexual enhancement had only enhanced the sexual attraction that was already there. Taehyung licked your pussy with such need and desire - only could be done with someone he truly loved and desired.

Taehyung fucks you with such need, almost as if he was waiting for this very moment. Namjoon cums too quickly for his liking, but it wasn't long until he was erect again.

The moans from Taehyung and you were the icing on the cake. You were far into the sex that you forgot he was watching. You should thank him, truly. You were getting the best sex of your life by your best friend - yelling out constant "I love you's". Namjoon was a match-maker, he thinks.

When you fall asleep, Namjoon manages to clean himself. He showers and washes the clothes he had on prior. His mind wanders to the previous weeks. How you had introduced yourself to him and how he had to pretend not to know who you were. You were hurt and the hurt does nothing but turn him on. He remembers the way you ran out of the smoothie shop in pure embarrassment.

Taehyung calls after you, but not before stopping by Namjoon first.

"How do you think she'll handle it?" Namjoon asked, furrowing a brow.

Taehyung shrugs. "She's embarrassed. That was part of the plan."

As Namjoon exits his shower, his phone rings. He strolls back towards his bedroom where his desktop laid, livestream still on. Taehyung was not in site, but you remained asleep on the bed.

Namjoon grasps his phone and hums. He answers. "You're calling sooner than expected."

Taehyung chuckles.

"How does it feel?" Namjoon asks. "To finally fuck Y/N?"

Taehyung groans. "Like heaven." he admits.

Namjoon snorts, rolling his eyes.

Taehyung's plan to get you into bed was a wild one. When the younger man had come to him with the plan, he had laughed in his face. However, Taehyhung remained stoic. He was serious, and Namjoon was intrigued.

Taehyung was no fool to Namjoon's own kinks and fetishes. Who else would be the one to go along with his plan? Sure, Taehyung's plan was a bit insane and time consuming. "Talk to Y/N pretending to be yourself, get her comfortable and then pretend to not know who the hell she is."

It took Namjoon months to get to know you. You were a genuine person, and the wholesome part of him understood what he was doing was wrong. But, the chance to witness you vulnerable had caused him to go along with the sick plan by no one other than your best friend.

"By all means necessary." Taehyung had assured, and Namjoon had delivered.

You were a beauty. You weren't the outgoing type so to get you to become intimate with him wasn't something to be done easily. But Namjoon was persistent. He got you comfortable enough that you bore it all for him - and he had the leverage he needed to break you.

Taehyung had received all the pictures and videos you had sent Namjoon - what he did to them, Namjoon had a clue. But he wasn't one to judge; he did the same.

"What now?" Namjoon sits at his desk. You stirred but didn't wake. "Is the game over?"

Taehyung sighs. "No." he responds. "I haven't compensated you."

Namjoon scoffs. "You don't need to pay me. It was fun."

Taehyung is silent on the other end, so silent that Namjoon checks to see if he had hung up.

"Don't you want to fuck her?"

The question catches Namjoon by surprise. "H-huh?"

Taehyung snorts on the other end.

"Tae, it's not funny." Namjoon hisses. "Stop joking."

'I'm not." Taehyung quips. "Her pussy still belongs to me, Joon-ah. I just want you to...have a little taste." Taehyung voice seemingly darkens, and Namjoon stiffens.

"Is that so?" Namjoon questions.

"Of course. I have to be there, though." Taehyung says. "I'm sure we can come up with another plan for her to let the both of us have her."

"At the...same time?" Namjoon can just feel his cock harden. He never participated in a threesome before and just the thought has him ready to cum once more.

"Yes."

Namjoon licks his lips.

"Okay." Namjoon needs to keep his composure. He couldn't allow his excitement to be exposed at this moment. You were once considered off-limits, but now Taehyung was extending his possession for him. "What's the plan?"

Taehyung clicks his tongue. "I'll get back at you." he says. "I know you're hard again."

Namjoon cheeks flushs. Taehyung knew him too well.

"I'm going to fuck Y/N again and you're going to watch." Taehyung sing-songs. "Give you a little show of just how good my pussy feels. How good it'll soon feel for the both of us."

Taehyung hangs the phone up and like clockwork, he's back into the room. Namjoon gulps. Again, he was but a man - as fucked up as it was.

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lovelycupid47 · 6 months

Text

Yandere! Kim Taehyung College AU! One-shot

a/n: This is my first fan fiction in a while. I'm trying to get the storyline readable and not cringe. So, if it does, I'm sorry

pairing: yandere!college student! Taehyung x college student! female reader.

TW: manipulation, slight abuse, and one swear word.

Everyone was jealous of you. They envied you. The reason is your boyfriend, Kim Taehyung. Your boyfriend was the most handsome, kind, loyal, and perfect man that every girl wished they had. Your boyfriend made sure that everyone knew that he belonged to you. Always staying by your side, blatantly ignoring any girl that tries to flirt with him, leaving hickeys every time you stay over in his dorm, deleting any messages from women that would try to seduce him, and even tattooing your name on his collarbone. Yet it has become overwhelming for you.

You met him in your first year of college. You were struggling to make friends and were finding adjustment a little difficult. It wasn’t until you met him through a classmate who invited you over to a club. You guys hit off great. You thought he was such a gentleman and handsome guy that befriending had become easy. Oh, how so wrong were you?

Taehyung thought you were amazing and beautiful. Seeing your smile created a spark in his stomach that he didn’t want to go away. When he saw you in the sunlight, he believed that you were an angel that was sent to him since you were so perfect for him. He was so perfect for you. He knew he had to have you, so he asked you for your number and you being naive, said yes.

It started with texting each other every single day to daily luncheons to dating by the end of your freshmen semester. You guys were the perfect couple and everyone on campus knew you two could never be separated. It’s not like you want to separate. It's more like he doesn’t want to at ALL be separated away from you. At first, it was lovely and sweet, but your friends started noticing some signs that weren’t so lovely.

“I thought you told Taehyung, you are spending time with the girls.” One of your blonde friends, Nayeon, said.

“I did, but you know him. He gets really anxious when I don’t text him back over 30 minutes.” You defended.

“Isn’t that a little too much? He has been nonstop texting you since you sat down.” Your Burnett friend, Jihyo, questioned.

“Yeah, but he has really bad anxiety, so if I don’t text him quick enough, there is a chance he can get a panic attack. Last time, I forgot to text him before my test and he ended up calling me 20 times and left 50 messages about if I was okay and if I was in danger.”

Both of your friends looked at each other wearily and back at you who was oblivious to how manipulative it sounded. Taehyung had never acted like this before, especially since they had known him longer than you. They've seen his previous relationships, and he never acted that way with any of the girls. This raised concerns among the girls and gave them a slight suspicion of something that wasn’t right. Since then they started observing you guys interaction in public.

What they noticed was how subtly possessive he could get. It started with just grabbing your hand and never letting go unless you need to use both hands. They saw how he would beg for your attention when you were talking to another guy. The worst of all is the death stare he would give to any guy or girl who tries to flirt with you. Instead of voicing their concerns to you, they kept quiet.

You, Taehyung, and your friend group decided to go eat out since exams were over. It was a moment to destress and eat/drink all of their worries away. It was going so perfectly until your boyfriend took it too far.

“Who are you texting?” Taehyung asks.

“Oh a relative, they are wondering if I’m coming home during break.” You proclaimed. Out of nowhere, you felt arms wrapping around you and a sudden whine.

“Who told you you can leave me alone? Who is going to cuddle with me at night then? What about our morning breakfast together? You can't leave your boyfriend here by himself.” He whined out loud. Usually, this behavior would be cute to your friends, but now it has become really annoying.

“You can wait a couple of months without her. It's not like she dying,” Nayeon mumbled, head down and moving her food around.

“No, that is a crime. I need the love of my life with me at all times. She is my other half.” He defended while slightly glaring at her.

“Well, have you ever thought that maybe giving her space?” Jihyo argued back with the same glare intensity as him. “It becomes overwhelming when you don’t leave her side, especially when she needs to use the restroom.”

You didn’t like where this was going, especially since it started raising some tension on the table. “Are you tired of me, baby?” Taehyung pouted pulling his most unforgiving puppy dog's eyes. The eyes he knew that you can’t say no to.

“O-of course not!” You defended, “I would never think like that because I know how much it affects you, and you know how much I love you. I-I love the affection you give me.”

“Yeah, it is endearing, but Taehyung, it does become overwhelming even for us when all you talk about is Y/N. We get it, you are a hopeless romantic and are head over heels, but hearing about it even when she is not with us is getting really annoying.”Jungkook, Taehyung’s best friend, retorted. He heard from both Nayeon and Jihyo how Taehyung doesn’t set boundaries and is always in your space. At first, he didn’t believe it, but he started paying attention and saw what the other two girls were mentioning. Whenever Jungkook and Taehyung hang out with other guys, Taehyung is always gushing about how pretty and wonderful you are. Then he would be stuck on his phone texting you instead of talking to them. There was even one-time Taehyung yelled at Jimin, a close friend of theirs, for telling Taehyung that he could do so much better than you and that you were just going to be a college fling that he would forget about in the future. Jungkook remembered that day being the only time he saw Taehyung almost get physical with someone. The rage he saw in Taehyung’s eyes was something he could never forget and would haunt him in his sleep.

Taehyung didn’t say anything. He was looking down at his lap staying silent making you even more worried. “Guys, I understand your concerns, but I don’t mind it. Besides, you guys are not considering his separation anxiety. I thought you guys knew about his trauma. So, leave him alone, please.” You begged, it hurts seeing your boyfriend being judged by the people he trusted the most.

“Y/N, he doesn’t have separation anxiety. He just saying that so you can feel pity for him. I asked his mom two days ago and she said he never experienced any trauma.” Nayeon bickered. At that, it was Taehyung’s last straw. He stood up and grabbed your hand. “We will be leaving. Seeing as none of you guys support our relationship.” And you both left the restaurant without listening to your friend’s protest.

The car back to your dorm was silent. No words were coming out of him. You tried lightening the mood, but all you got was one-word answers. It was concerning to you because you never saw him like this. It has been close to two years since you guys started dating, and you have never seen this side of him. Yes, there were also arguments between you, but he was always the one asking for forgiveness whenever you made a move to leave the room. This is something that can actually take a turn in your relationship.

Once at your dorm room, it was just you and him. Your roommate already left back home once exams were finished, so you had the room all to yourself before you headed back home. “Y/N. Give me your phone.” Taehyung demanded in his monotonous voice. A voice he avoids using on you. He was standing by your bed while you were still near the door.

“Why? Can we talk about what happened back at the restaurant first?” You questioned. In the car, you thought about what Nayeon said. Was it true? Were you being lied to?

“I don’t want to talk about it. Especially with people that want to separate us. Now give me your phone.” He extended his hand out expecting you to oblige to his demand, but you were hesitant.

“Those people are our friends. They weren’t trying to separate. They are just concerned for my well-being because you can become overbearing!” Yeah, you were mad at your friends for ganging up on your boyfriend, but they were your only friends since Freshman year. Besides them, no one wanted to be your friend for some odd reason.

“So you agree with them. You can’t stand being with me... Am I annoying you with my love, babe? Is my affection and love something you don’t like? Do you not love me anymore? D-do you hate me?” Taehyung gave you the most heartbreaking expression that you have ever seen.

“Taehyung, you know that is not what I mean.”

“Really? Because it sounds like you don’t love me anymore. Is it because Jihyo and Nayeon are brainwashing you to stop loving me.” He started advancing towards you.

“They have nothing to do with this Tae.” You started slowly backing away.

“They have everything to do with this since they started the whole thing. Obviously, they are trying to persuade you to leave me. Unless…” He had you against the wall while gripping your shoulders tightly.

“Are you cheating on me with Jungkook? After all, he is the only man you interact with and he was quick to make sure to separate you from me.” He was staring straight into your eyes which were diluted with anger while his grip on you was tightening every second.

“Taehyung you are hurting me! You are jumping to a conclusion. There is nothing going on with me and Jungkook, okay? You know that I love you and only, so why would I want Jungkook.” You try reasoning with him, but it seems like nothing is getting to him.

“Prove it. Block them.” He declared, and from the expression on his meant he was serious.

“Block them? Do you mean our friends? The one that has been with us since the beginning? Taehyung this is getting out of hand.” You tried getting out of his grip but he ended up digging his nails into your skin.

“The friends that got us in this argument. The same friends that insulted me in front of you, your boyfriend. The same friends that made fun of my condition, Y/N. What about the time that they picked on your outfit because it was too childish? What about the time they talked shit behind your back and yet you forgave them. You know and I know that they are the toxic ones, so I’m going to ask you one more time. Block. Them. Or help me god I will do it for you.” You were helpless because you knew he was speaking facts and you couldn’t argue back. To you they were facts, but to him, they were lies that he made up and manipulated to make sure you believed him. You defeatedly handed your phone that was buzzing with missed calls from your friends.

He grabbed it and blocked your friends on your phone and any other social media platforms. He wanted to make sure that none of them had any contact with you. Heck, he would even make sure that they don’t even be in the same room with you.

“See, was that hard.” He cupped your face with his veiny hands and kissed your tears away. You didn’t know you were crying until you felt his lips on your eyelids.

“Don’t worry. We have each other. Isn’t that enough? We can be even more affectionate without the nagging people insulting us.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders while you wrapped your arms around his waist. His head was lying on top of yours while swaying you both from side to side.

“It is me and you against the world. Forever.” If only you saw the smirk he had on his face, you wouldn’t be nuzzling his neck.

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chimcess · 10 months

Text

Dino-Mite || knj

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader (ft. Taehyung x Reader) Other tags: Archeologist!Namjoon, Paleontologist!Reader, Ph.D!Student!Reader, Ph.D. student!Namjoon, Pet Store Cashier!Reader Genre: College!AU, Ivy League!AU, Neighbors!AU, Strangers to lovers!AU, Idiots to lovers (i2l), Fuckboy!AU, Age Gap!AU, fluff, angst, awkward love story, Smut Word Count: 34.7k+ Synopsis: With the end of her college career coming to an end, Y/N is about to make her way into the adult world outside of Harvard. That’s when she finds an unlikely friendship with her sex-crazed neighbor, Namjoon, who shows her how unexpected life can be. Warnings: They’re so cute, too much dinosaur talk, slow start, Older Reader, alcohol consumption (not reader), Mentions of bad sexual experiences (not reader and Joon), talks about unsupportive parents, talks about character death (not in story), Anxiety, Reader is horny, too shy to say it, Sweet Namjoon, very supportive relationship, past bad relationships, inexperienced reader, fuck boy Joon (kinda), Tae is a creep (sorry), daddy kink, soft dom!Joon, spanking (like twice), fingering, penetration, protected sex (wrap it up), degradation, I have never written smut before (I’m trying my best lol), pretty vanilla all things considered, let me know if I missed anything A/N: This is a lot of fun for me and a nice change of pace from my usual projects. I really love this couple, and I hope you enjoying reading <3

Listen to the Playlist || Cross posted on ao3: here

I sighed and looked back into the magnifying glass. It had been damaged, the ivory tusk lightly chiseled away, but my elation was not dimmed. Even with the cracks and chips, the massive bone was in my hands. I had weighed and measured it extensively before beginning a thorough investigation of the fossil. It was about 2.6 meters long, and even my bitterness over not having an entire skull to work with was overshadowed by the beauty of the Woolly Mammoth. I quickly noted the damage and the off-white color of the bone. I looked back down.

I had been in the fossil room for hours now. As one of the TAs, a professor of mine had emailed me to come down and check out the new shipment. Dr. Lupon and I had been together since I had started my freshman year at Harvard. 12 years later, I am now 29 and still stuck at school researching rocks and bones just as I did all those years ago. And while we could gush about rocks together any day of the week, she knew that I had been waiting for the new fossils to come in. I loved bones even more than rocks.

My eyes began to burn, and I quickly gave them a rub before returning to my assignment. I was almost finished. I glanced at my wristwatch and groaned. It was nearing 3 in the morning, and I had a lecture in less than 5 hours. It was time to call it quits for the night. I made quick work of putting the tusk back in its proper place, taking great care with it, and cleaning up my workstation. It was 4 when I finally got out of the lab.

Massachusetts was beautiful in the winter. I loved the snow and the way the wind nipped the tip of my nose. It was a nice change from the hot, dry climates I faced in the summer. Expeditions with Dr. Montgomery were as fun as they were horrendous. I took a huge breath of air and sighed out in relief. No sand in my nose. No mosquitoes. No sunburns. Just a winter wonderland spread across the campus.

The walk back to my apartment was short. I only lived two blocks away from campus. As expensive as it was, I enjoyed living out of the dorms. I had stayed in them until I had finished with my undergrad and had not moved from my small, one-bedroom flat since. I was a creature of habit. My whimsical side was “strictly reserved for dead things,” as Kendall put it. While it was true, there was one thing that made me just as excited as rocks did.

I wonder if Taehyung had stopped by tonight.

I knew he lived in my building, and even if he hardly knew my name, I could pick him out in a crowd. My friends had been insistent I ask him out after two years of pining over him. He often came into Adrian’s, the pet store I worked at, to purchase food for his turtles. Our conversations always focused on his pets and sales, but his smile could make anyone melt. My little crush was justified as was my hesitation.

Jungkook was just getting home as well. His school sweats and frizzy hair gave away his whereabouts. Even if he did not think I knew about it, Jungkook had been hooking up with a girl I worked with for weeks. A deep, purple mark on his neck was going to be impossible to explain away, but I decided against commenting on it. It was too late, and we were both tired. Kendall would see it anyway.

“Hey, Jeon,” I greeted with a yawn.

“Sup.” He replied, opening his door before disappearing.

I was not offended. I did it to him all the time. I threw my keys onto my coffee table before stumbling out of my boots. I was not showering tonight. I began stripping on my way to my room, throwing my clothes on top of other garments from this week, and flopping onto my bed. I was exhausted but my mind was alight. I could not believe that I was the first person to see the mammoth tusk in its glory. My phone chimed next to my head.

Jungkook: My bad

Y/N: All good

Jungkook: Night

Y/N: Night

I could faintly hear music coming from my other neighbor’s room. At least it was not the usual. He was nice enough, the week I moved in he had left a small box of cookies in front of my door. However, the good feelings towards him diminished just as quickly. He was a nympho. Almost every night of the week he would have someone on the other side of my wall screaming. Sometimes it was at 9 pm and other times it would wake me up at 4 am and keep me up until my lecture at 7. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief. Tonight would be a quiet night it seemed.

Then, just as I was on the cusp of sleep, I heard it. A loud, angry bang on the other side. A girl moaned loudly. Huffing, I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, willing for them to stop and watch anime. The sounds got louder. I grabbed my headphones out of my nightstand and quickly put on some music as they connected. I heard another loud bang.

The music was never loud enough to drown it out, so I lay there, staring at my ceiling, listening to Billy Marten and my neighbor’s headboard slamming into the wall.

My eyes burned when my alarm went off for the fourth time. I had been considering skipping my morning lecture since the lovebirds next door had been hell all morning. I had not been able to doze off until 6 and an hour later my alarm went off to let me know it was shower time. I kicked my legs childishly before hitting dismiss with too much aggression. Today was going to be awful.

I forced myself out of bed and into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I glared at my reflection and mentally screamed at her for being such a good student. Never in my entire time at university did I miss a class. Not even my 6 am environmental science course during my freshman year. Giving up on looking decent at all, I haphazardly threw my hair up and rolled my eyes at the strays flying everywhere. God himself could not make me fight with my contact lenses this morning.

Still, in my sour mood, I stomped around my apartment making a bowl of cereal and grumbling about being out of almond milk. After eating my bowl of too-dry cereal, I slipped on the baggiest gray sweatpants I owned and a Harvard sweatshirt. Jungkook and I were most likely matching. For a law student, he did not give a shit about going to his classes cleaned up like the rest of them. Angry and in the mood to punch a hole through my neighbor’s wall to give him a piece of my mind, I slid into my checkered Vans before locking up.

Jungkook looked worse than I did. Sweatpants were one thing but to wear plaid striped pajama pants to a law class? Bold move, Jeon. While I was surprised to see him up so early in the morning, I knew he was twice as shocked to see me running late. He raised an eyebrow and eyed me apprehensively. I gave him a lazy wave before starting my descent down the rod iron stairs.

“You look like shit,” Jungkook said, catching up to me.

“Aren’t you charming,” I yanked a cap out of my bag and put it on to cover how bad my hair looked.

“What happened?”

“Neighbor. Again.”

He laughed, his nose scrunching up as he did so. Jungkook, like everyone else I knew, was aware of my bad neighbor. We had tried to figure out who it was once, but it always ended up in disaster. The last time was a drunk escapade last year. Instead of sitting in the freezing cold waiting for the man of the hour to show up, I tripped over my own feet walking up the stairs, fell over the railing, and broke my arm. Kendall, my best friend, never let me live it down.

“Have to hand it to him,” Jungkook giggled. “The guy is drowning in pussy.”

I shoved him roughly, “You’re so gross. Go away.”

Jungkook cackled loudly and clutched his stomach. Realizing I was only making myself angrier by sticking around, I walked away. My face was hot, my teeth clenched, and seconds away from crying. Last year, I reminded myself. After this I would be somewhere in the continental U.S., working at the best museums, and as far away from the asshole next door.

“Aw, come on Y/N,” Jungkook shouted after me. “Don’t be like that.”

“Whatever!” I yelled over my shoulder.

Jungkook did not bother to follow me after that. I was a ticking time bomb now, and it was best that everyone stayed clear of me. Finally making it to the bike rack out front, I wasted no time putting in my lock’s combination. Once I sat in my seat I would feel better. Maybe I could stop by the lab after class and have some cool-down time? My hands shook but I managed to unwrap my lock and shoved it into my bike’s cup holder.

“Morning, Y/N.”

I shrieked in surprise before whipping my head around to see who was talking to me. The first thing I saw was his chest, his gray tank top sticking to his body with sweat stains soaking through. Taehyung smiled at me, his hair damp from his morning run, and I struggled to breathe at the sight of him. Dear God, why me? Why now?

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” He said, still catching his breath.

“Oh,” I exclaimed, “No, no, no.” I waved my hands and nervously laughed. “It’s okay. No harm done. Good morning to you too, Tae.”

The man’s eyes danced with laughter, and I wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow me whole. It was unfair just how little he noticed me at all. It was even more unfair that he made me feel like I was running a marathon just standing next to him. Flustered, I kicked up my stand and pulled my bike off the rack.

“I have to get to a lecture, but I’ll see you later,” I said and swung a leg over my seat.

Jungkook always made fun of me for wearing a helmet when I rode. No one else really did and it looked lame, but I would rather look like an idiot than crack my head open on the concrete if I took a fall. Securing my helmet, I found Taehyung still standing there looking at me.

“Did you need something?” I asked.

“Cuff and Link,” He started, “They’ve been having a hard time eating.”

I nodded. Those were his pet turtles. When I first started working at the pet store, he had come in looking for a low-maintenance pet that would keep him company at home. At the time, he had only been in America for a few months and was having a hard time making friends. Cuff and Link, previously Jim and Pam, were a pair of red-ear sliders that had been stuck at the store for over a year. He ended up taking them both and was in all the time for food, treats, and sometimes just to give updates.

“I wanted to ask yesterday but you weren’t in when I got there,” He continued.

“Yeah, we got some new stuff in the museum, and I was cataloging it,” My heart fluttered at the thought of him asking for me.

“That sounds nice,” He smiled at me. “The other clerk didn’t know what to do about it.”

“Come by tonight,” I said, glancing at my watch with feign indifference. “My shift starts at 9.”

He smiled at me, “Thank you. See you later, Y/N.”

“Bye,” I said and sped off knowing I had successfully ruined my perfect attendance streak.

I clocked in before securing the khaki apron around my neck. The small mom-and-pop pet store was more expensive than Petco, but its location made up for the small price increase. The owner, Jill, also handcrafted a large majority of the pet outfits and collars, so many of the rich kids I went to school with would prefer to come here. She even did customs for her regulars. I liked the job and had been here since my sophomore year during undergrad. We all knew that I would be leaving the small shop after graduation, and hopefully, the state as well, but never spoke about it. It made Jill sad.

After my coworker and I said pleasantries and they got me up to date on what needed to be done before closing, he left, and I was alone. I knew Taehyung would come by late. He always did. I was not sure what he did for a living, if he was in school or not, but I was certain I was older than him. My crush was just that- a crush. Nothing to get too hung up on. Even if Taehyung was a daydream, I knew better than to let my mind get away from me.

As I began stocking the shelves, I let my mind wander. It beat getting stuck in the monotonous task of labeling and putting away new pet furniture. I had not dated successfully ever. Most men shied away from me the moment they realized I was a paleontologist. Unless they were in a similar field or mindset, I could understand why it might freak them out. Many of the people I worked with were oddballs. I loved them dearly, but they could be off-putting. Hell, I could be, too. I found that men hated being clueless, many were unable to be in a room with people that made them feel dumb, and I had a bad habit of talking about my work. There are only so many dinosaur facts one can hear before they no longer want to have sex with you. Fragile egos and insecurities only added to that problem.

So, while I have been on many dates and put myself out there, it still made finding someone difficult. That was why I never went after Taehyung. Sure, I think he is cute but that is the problem. I would only put my foot in my mouth and scare him off. It was much better to allow myself to imagine the possibility of a date rather than ruining it. He could be a piece of garbage and I would have to live with that information, or I could bore him to death and give my friends another reason to mention by name to every straight guy they knew. Thinking about it now, my own fears were justified. I knew next to nothing about the guy. As far as I knew, he was a man who had two pet turtles, had huge muscles, and was a fan of video games. While it was enough to get a vague idea about his likes, it was still not enough to feel like we had enough in common to click. I glanced at the clock.

9:47 pm.

I still had another hour at least. He could have a night job… or maybe an exam? He seemed like the type to study. I went to the back and got another large box. Shipments sucked and Cory, one of my coworkers, was normally too busy to get much done during his shift. That meant I was stuck with the grueling process of labeling, scanning, and stocking the entire store. Adrian’s was open 24/7, the only pet store in the city to do so, and I worked until 3 am most days. Except for when I gave morning lectures on Wednesdays and over the weekend. Jill closed early Saturdays and Sundays. She enjoyed spending time with her kids and liked to give us the break. I finished another large box before checking the clock again.

10:58 pm.

He could come in at any point now. I stopped trying to keep up with him a while ago. One thing was certain: he never came in before 10:30. Most nights, he dragged himself in around midnight looking like he had just woken from a nap. Some days he would stumble in drunk with a buddy to pick up food at 2 in the morning. If anyone else had come in right before I went home, I would have been angry, but those nights made him more human. His speech was slurred, face flushed, but he was still so perfect. His friend was grumpy and stone-faced but kept him awake long enough to purchase his food and stumble home. Nights like that made it impossible for me to forget about him.

The bell chimed and I quickly stood up. Glancing at the clock, it was half-past 11 and I was happy he was in earlier than I had expected. I began to focus on leveling out my breathing before I saw him. I needed to get together. Taehyung made it hard to breathe and after this morning I was on high alert. No need to embarrass myself even more.

No amount of controlled breathing could have prepared me for what was waiting by the counter. There he was dressed up, his hair slicked back and styled elegantly with a brown, plaid blazer jacket on. A white turtleneck emphasized his chest and brown slacks hugged his thighs deliciously. This was uncharted territory. I was so used to a casually dressed man with black hair that was wet from the snow that the thought of him looking nice had never entered my mind. Where had he been? Or going?

It looked like a date.

“Welcome to Adrian’s,” I called out, my customer service voice on.

“It’s me,” He replied, scratching the back of his head and smiling.

Of course, he was on a date. A guy like that had to have countless women at his beck and call. I had heard girls talking about him before. It was always in passing and I had never been able to catch much, but people were interested. I could not even be upset. If I was more confident, I might have asked him out already. I thought about my neighbor and internally cringed at the thought of Taehyung being that guy. No fucking way was he was anything like the man next door. I took a deep breath before walking out onto the main floor.

“Oh, hey,” I replied, pretending that I had not been admiring him from afar. “Sorry about that, we got a new shipment and I’m always stuck stocking.”

“No problem,” He flashed one of those close-lipped grins at me, “So, Cuff and Link.”

I got behind the counter and nodded. Yes, the turtles. He had mentioned they had not been eating and I took some time before my shift to research the subject. There were many problems they could be facing but I needed more information before I gave any advice. I pulled out the large pet book from behind the counter for extra measure. It came in clutch.

“You said they’re not eating?” I clarified, opening the book and searching for the turtle section. Page 126. Got it.

“Yeah, it’s been going on for about a week now.” He replied, leaning against the counter on his elbows.

He was far too close. I subtly shifted away from him and hummed showing that I was listening. I found the section about turtle health.

“And you’re up to date about their lighting and temperature needs?”

“I’ve had them for five years now and they have never had these problems before.”

“I know Taehyung,” I skimmed through the book some more. “Just making sure.”

He hummed a response, but I did not care to decipher the meaning behind it. It did not sound angry, so I assumed it was not.

“So, they’re getting 10-12 hours of UVB light a day?” I glanced up at him.

“Day basking at 90 degrees. and off at night,” He scratched the back of his neck. “Before you ask, their water is 80 degrees.”

I nodded. That was all perfect for red-ear sliders. I knew the breed from the numerous times he had come in for different items of theirs. I used to be sad that I knew more about the turtles than I did their owner, but I realized how much he loved the little guys and it made everything better. If I was not so busy, I would buy a pet of my own. The only problem being I was always doing something and was extremely irresponsible. There was a reason I preferred dead things. I had killed every fish I had ever owned, and plants were hopeless in my care. Even cacti.

“Any big move? Stress could make them stop eating.” I stole a glance at him.

He shook his head no.

“Nothing like that either. I might just take them to the vet.” Taehyung sighed.

“What is their normal diet?” I quickly asked.

He looked so sad. I wanted to find a solution for him. I knew how expensive that vet visit would be, not including the trip across town to the exotic doctor. I skimmed the paragraphs while I waited for an answer.

“They eat the commercial stuff.”

I hummed and placed the book on the counter. From what the book said they could be getting bored with their diet. Turtles who only ate commercial food could stop eating until they got to try something new to stimulate their appetite.

“Have you ever tried adding some variety?” I asked, leaning against the counter with my elbows.

I ignored the way my stomach flipped at his proximity.

“Like what?”

“Well,” I started, “Turtles love bugs. Crickets, snails, mealworms, and earthworms are all options to try. They can even eat feeder fish in their tank if you add some in there.”

“My roommate would kill me if I put any of that in our fridge.”

I laughed. I could not blame them. I would hate knowing there were bugs next to my cream cheese, too. The thought of it made my stomach churn and I fought the urge to gag. Gross.

“Well, they can also eat fresh veggies and fruits. The book recommends leafy vegetables or grapes and strawberries. You can even try soaking their food in fruit juice or canned tuna water. They love bright colored things.”

He smiled at me again. I swooned. The way his eyes crinkled was adorable. He must have been kissed by an angel and hand crafted by God himself to look the way he does. Even in the poor, dim fluorescent lights, he looked good. Fuck good- great.

“I’ll pick some up in the morning then.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He looked down at the floor, scuffing his shoe.

So cute.

“Happy to help. Don’t want the little guys to go hungry.” I half-heartedly laughed and tapped on the glass case in front of me.

“Hey-“

He was interrupted by the chime on the door. It was his friend, the grumpy drunk guy, and I noticed the way his shoulders slumped. I wonder what the problem was. Were they having problems? I wish we were close enough for me to ask.

“Tae let’s go,” Grumpy said, not sparing me a glance. “Irene and Cleo are waiting for us.”

Taehyung sighed and looked at me apologetically. I gave him a small smile and wave.

“I was wondering why you were all dressed up,” I offered lamely, hoping he would snatch the bait.

“Wingman for the night,” He replied, smiling brightly. “See you around, Y/N. I’ll let you know how they’re doing.”

“Taehyung,” The guy groaned, tapping his foot impatiently and staring at his watch.

“Coming, Jin,” He replied equally annoyed.

“Have fun,” I responded, turning around, and pretending to get busy.

I heard a small amount of bickering before another chime and the store was silent again.

I rubbed at my eyes and let out a huge yawn. Tonight had been boring after Taehyung had left. No one else had come in and I ended up finishing all the restocking and got a small amount of my dissertation done. I was focusing on the evolutionary functions of sauropods. So far, I was having a wonderful time discussing my theories and Dr.Lupon was kind enough to give me plenty of access to the sauropods we had in the lab. Jungkook was getting home as well.

“Hey,” I greeted, pulling my keys out of my bag.

“Feeling any better?” He asked, looking over at me.

Jungkook was a sweet guy. I met him during undergrad at a party. Wren and I were getting along great, and he invited me out. Jungkook and I got paired up for beer pong and the rest was history. For a long time, we were a trio. That was until Wren moved out of the dorms and got married, Jungkook was too busy slutting it up on campus after his big breakup with Fawn, and I became the workaholic in the group. Kendall, a girl I had met during spring break in my junior year of undergrad, was the one I saw on a semi-regular basis now. I noticed a new hickey next to the other two from last night.

“All good,” I replied. “Sorry for being a dick.”

“No worries. I actually left the guy a note so hopefully he’ll shut the fuck up.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. All the years we had been living here, Jungkook had never approached my neighbor about his volume control. Neither had I. I had come to terms with the lack of sleep and Jungkook hated confrontation. I knew he would never speak to 201, Jungkook had a bad speech impediment when he was anxious or upset. A note, however, was right up his alley. I could imagine what it had said and it made me smile.

“You didn’t have to do that, Kookie,” I said.

“Yeah, well, you bust your ass to be here. Don’t want that shit to fuck up your grades.”

Then he was locking himself in his apartment again. I, again, did not take it personally. Jungkook and I both had a bad habit of running away from sweet moments. Jungkook more so than me. I sighed and went inside to get ready for bed.

Like Jungkook had hoped, it was a quiet night. The night after was silent as well. Then, two weeks went by without a single sound coming from my neighbor’s apartment. And while this should have made me happy, instead all I could think about was my own anxiety. Had he moved out? Was he suffering because of me? Had Jungkook been too harsh? I knew he was crazy about sex. All of these thoughts raced through my mind once I turned off the lights.

Jungkook told me I was being stupid. The guy was quiet and that was all that mattered. And he was right. I should have been happy but I was not. Going on night sixteen, I stared at my ceiling and waited for something, anything, and nothing came.

It had been hard walking on eggshells throughout the week. I did not really know what my friend had written and how much involvement I had, and that made it even more difficult to function. I left earlier in the morning and came home later at night. I feared I would bump into him. Even though it had never happened before, the last thing I wanted was an awkward apology.

Turning over in my bed, I stared at my front door before groaning. Finally giving up on sleep, I turned on my bedside lamp and started throwing on a few layers of clothes. It had frozen over during the weekend. That was one thing I could live without- snow. Slipping on a pair of thick, fuzzy socks and my too-large snow boots, I collected my keys before locking up my place.

Insomnia plagued me at the best of times. Stressing was a totally different ballgame. Making my way down the stairs, I reached into my hoodie pocket and pulled out my tangled headphones. Kendall and Wren always poked fun at my old electronics but I paid them no mind. I would use it until it broke and was not worth fixing. It was the same reason I never paid for Spotify or Apple Music like they did. I much rather waste my money on summer expeditions and books. Putting my playlist on shuffle, I began unlocking my bike from the rack.

It had been a hard change when I first left home. I thought, as an 18-year-old girl, that the moment I left my parent’s house and went on my own adventure that I would have things figured out in no time. I laughed at myself now. God, I was so naive. The real world was hard and going Ivy League was harder. Most of the people around me were descendants or related to somebody important. The rest were exchange students who had little interest in me. My first few years at Harvard were rough and I was surprised I had managed. But every time I spoke to my family it made all of the hard work worth it. They were proud and so was I.

Now, here I was about to get my Ph.D. and still trying to figure out what I could do with myself after I left this place. My professor had offered me an adjacent faculty position but I needed to get out from my comfort zone. I wanted to see what else the world had to offer before accepting something like that. My mom thought I was crazy but I knew grandpa would be happy with my decision. Pulling up to the lab, I reminded myself that I had a lecture in the morning and I could not stay for too long.

It always amazed me how I was able to go from sneaking into this building during my sophomore year to owning a spare key. Back then, I mostly stuck to the rocks and occasionally would find myself looking over the bones. After a while, the rocks were just a suggestion. Now, I quickly let myself into the fossil room and began to wash my hands. Hygiene and care were extremely important when handling bones and I had planned on looking over that tusk again. A half an hour later is when I got the first phone call.

“Y/N,” Kendall slurred on the other side of the phone, loud music blasting in the background, and I could hear Wren laughing loudly just to the side of my friend. “Come to Grendall’s! It’s Throwback Thursday!”

Taking off my cotton gloves, I slowly stood up and began putting my things away. Even if I had no intentions of going out, I did need to start getting everything put away before somebody saw me. While it was not unallowed, most of the other students were not able to come and go as they please, so my professor had asked me to keep this a secret.

“I have class in the morning,” I replied, placing her on speakerphone while I began the careful process of putting the tusk back.

“Bitch,” It was Wren now. “You better be joking.”

I laughed, “And you’ve lost your mind if you think I’m going to that shitshow. Last time I was at Grendall’s some asshole threw his drink on me.”

“But they’re playing Usher, Y/N! Usher!”

I pursed my lips fighting back a grin. I was almost mad at myself for entertaining the idea at all, but thinking about it now it had been a while since I last went out. Kendall and Wren were both having a great time, but I was not in a party mood. By the time I got there everyone would be getting ready to leave and I would have wasted my time anyway. Declining the invitation again, I hung up before the drunk whining got any worse.

Figuring I would get home, I picked up all of the equipment and locked the door behind me. Flicking the lights off one-by-one, I yawned as the double doors to the research lab slammed behind me. Locking up, I rushed down the stairs and grabbed my bike.

The moonlight was covered by the clouds so the streets were only lit by the scattered streetlights. Securing my helmet, I contemplated grabbing some food on the way home but shook my head. I had peanut butter and bread.

It took ten minutes to ride back home. The parking lot was full and deserted. The silence creeped me out, so I quickly locked my bike up before taking the short walk back up to my flat. The stairs banged loudly into the night and I winced with each step I took. I hoped I did not wake anybody.

Walking past my neighbor’s door, I paused. Whoever they might have been had been very respectful of my boundaries. I almost felt bad for getting rid of their fun. Biting my lip, I looked at the door and sighed.

“Oh, to hell with it,” I mumbled, walking to my door.

It took no time to unlock the door. Leaving it wide open, I found my backpack easily and pulled out a sticky note. Grimacing, I almost second-guessed my plan when I caught sight of the pastel pink bunnies around the edges. Rolling my eyes, I fought the urge and got a pen from my front pocket.

Walking back outside, I stuck the note to the door and began to write.

Sorry about my friend. Do whatever you want. It’s your apartment. -203

After reinforcing the hold with some clear tape, I finally stalked back to my apartment for the rest of the night. It felt strange to give a grown man permission to have sex in his own home, but I had also thought it was weird that dinosaurs had feathers the first time I heard it. It had been my fault he thought he couldn’t, I rationalized. I was simply reminding him that he was free to make his own decisions.

Crawling into bed, I checked the time and sighed in frustration. I had class in three hours. Rolling over, I let my eyes slip shut. Whatever 201 decided to do, I would be fine with. Even if it meant I would lose some sleep.

Just on the cusp of sleep, I was awoken by a loud bang from the other side of the wall. Shooting up, I grabbed my chest in surprise. Then, almost like an eerie thriller, a shout came through the wall. Scrambling up the bed, I pressed my ear against it and waited for something else to happen.

“What are you going to do to me?” A woman said, her voice quivering.

“Whatever the fuck I want,” A man replied.

Cupping my mouth, I froze. Was this a kinky sex thing or was 201 about to murder a woman? Was that what he had been doing? Reeling, I continued to listen.

“Daddy,” The woman whined.

Immediately, I threw myself away from the wall with a disgusted exclamation. Definitely kinky sex things. Shuttering, I felt my blood run cold at the thought. I had been listening to my neighbor have sex- willingly. Not consciously, I tried to remind myself. I still felt like a pervert.

“Oh, fuck!” She shouted. “Just like that. Fuck!”

I heard a loud slap before the man chastised her for speaking out of turn. This only seemed to please her more because she was moaning and groaning. More curses and slaps came through the wall and I curled into a ball at the edge of my bed.

My annoyance was growing once more. He had not even gotten my note and he was violating me all over again. Gritting my teeth, I crawled out of my bed and got another sticky note. I doubted 201 would even notice if I left another right now. He was occupied.

I have class in the morning asshole, so keep the noise down. Other people live here. -203

Sticking the note on the door, I ripped the other one off and crumpled it in my hand. 201 and I were going to have some problems again it seems. Again, my brain attempted to remind me about how badly I felt for him earlier, but I ignored it. He broke the rules before I said he could! He’s a pig. He has a daddy kink.

I could not tell if I was angrier about the noise or the fact that my panties had grown ever so slightly damp at the thought.

Relax, princess. I’ll keep it down next time. Have fun in class, or whatever else you do. -201

Furious, I chuckled darkly. Ripping the piece of notebook paper from my door, I pulled out another sticky note.

Whatever it is I do, I’m sure it’s far more fulfilling than fucking everything that walks. -203

Sticking it to the door, I marched down the stairs in a wave of anger. Nothing could calm me down right now. Who the hell does he think he is? Jesus Christ of fucking Nazareth? Scoffing, I cracked my neck. What a joke.

I had hardly slept. Between the banging against the wall and my own anger, I had closed my eyes for thirty minutes before my alarm had gone off. I would, hopefully, get some sleep in between my afternoon and evening classes. I told myself that I would not go to the lab tonight. Thinking about 201, I grit my teeth. I could not even be sure of that if the man-whore decided to bring home another banshee.

He called me princess.

Breathing through my nostrils, I unlocked my bike and put on my helmet. I heard my name being called behind me and turned around.

Taehyung waved me down, a large, square smile on his face. Forcing a smile, I waved back at him. I would have to get my temper in check before I spoke with him. Another thing 201 had ruined for me, I said to myself.

He was dripping in sweat, his gray tank top sticking to his chest and shorts hardly moving from the amount of water on them. He was wearing a hat today, something I had rarely seen, and I swooned. He looked so nice with his hair out of his face. Coming to a stop in front of me, Taehyung looked at my face with worry.

“Didn’t sleep last night?” He asked, taking an ear bud out.

I shook my head. I decided against telling him about my neighbor's issues. We were not close enough for me to feel comfortable discussing daddy-kinks. Even if they were my neighbor’s.

Not that I’m against it, I thought to myself.

“I stayed out too late at the lab,” I replied. Half truths were better than whole lies. “Just lost track of time.”

“What’s your major again?” He asked, leaning against the bike rack.

Checking my watch, I was happy I still had time to chat before class. I had left earlier than I thought. Jungkook was ditching this morning. He and the girls had too much fun last night.

“Paleontology. I’m getting my Ph.D. "

He whistled jokingly and sent a little wink my way.

“Smart girl, huh?” He chuckled. “I went to Harvard for about two months before dropping out.”

Grabbing hold of this information, I grinned at him. I was glad to be learning more about the guy. He had been on my radar for a while now, so breaking some ice was always a good thing. Maybe, if I learned enough, I would feel more comfortable asking him out.

“What do you do for work?”

“Personal trainer,” He shrugged. “I was going to be a dietitian, but I wasn’t cut out for college. You’re at Harvard, right?”

I nodded, “I’ve been here since undergrad.”

Taehyung smiled, seemingly impressed. Looking around, he put his hands on his hips. An awkward silence sat between us, and I glanced at my watch again. I had five minutes left of this conversation. I would be late otherwise.

“Hey,” He finally said, a thoughtful look on his face. “Which building do you live in?”

I pointed to the one behind him. Taehyung smiled brightly and said he lived in the same one. After a minute of talking about how long we had each stayed, another small lapse in conversation happened. It was hard to talk to him without putting my foot in my mouth. I doubted he really wanted to hear about the things that I liked, and I was clueless about what he was into.

“Do you want to get dinner with me?”

Snapping back to the conversation, I had no idea how to respond. That was very sudden. Taehyung seemed pleased by my reaction, no doubt giving away how nervous I was, and I looked down at my shoes. I hated myself for wearing slippers.

“Uh, yeah,” I nodded, faking nonchalance. “Sure. When?”

“Next week?” He asked. “I’m pretty busy right now.”

“Yeah, totally.” I nodded, dumbly. “I’m free every day except Thursdays.”

“Next Friday? Around 6?”

I shook my head. “I have work that day. I’m off Sunday, though.”

Taehyung thought for a moment before grinning.

“I can make Sunday work. We can get lunch.”

After agreeing, we exchanged numbers and went separate ways. Taehyung had to meet with a client in a few minutes and I needed to get to class. Riding away, I was dumbfounded by my own feelings. I had not felt as excited about the idea as I thought I would. He had not seemed very interested in me before, and even asking me out had not really been all that flattering. Chalking it up to over thinking, I pushed my negative thoughts away and focused on the fact that I had a date next week. Wren was going to flip.

Arriving home, I found another note left on my door. Rolling my eyes, I was getting fed up with the childish game of telephone we were playing. I had started it, a thought that made me feel shameful, but if he had something to say to me then he should just go for it. I grabbed the note.

Not everything. Just the things I like. Sorry again. I will try to be quieter. -201

I found a smiling creeping up my face. I was acting like a complete spaz. Getting a sticky note, I replied.

Enjoy yourself. But not at 4 in the morning. Especially on Wednesdays. I have a class to teach. Sorry for acting like a Karen. -203

Sticking it to the door, I nodded. Hopefully this would mend the bridge. He can still have his fun and I won’t lose my mind. Taking my laptop out of my bag, I decided to get some homework done and continue writing my thesis. My workload was heavy, and I knew I would start feeling the pressure the most after winter break, but for now my thesis was smooth sailing. I was finished with my research thus far, and I only had to sit down, write, cite, and iron out the details. I knew Wren was already losing her mind over hers, but I trusted Jimin to be there for her. They were a power couple if I had ever seen one.

I gave up after four hours. My homework was finished, but I had gotten stuck on my paper again. I was getting caught up on the details when I should be writing. Putting my laptop away, I decided to go get some phone when my phone chimed.

Unknown: Hey is this Y/N?

Raising my eyebrow, I replied hesitantly.

Me: Yes. Who’s this?

Unknown: It’s Tae! Haha

Unknown: Sorry for texting so late. I just got home

Breathing a sigh of relief, I typed back a response.

Me: Oh hey

Me: No worries. I thought you were one of those telemarketers

Tae: Nope. Just Taehyung lol

Tae: Are you still good for Sunday?

Frowning, I stepped outside and shut my door. Why was he asking? We had just seen each other this morning. Standing, I replied and waited.

Me: Yeah? Why?

I heard a door open nearby but ignored it. Nibbling on my thumb nail, I grew anxious. Had he changed his mind? Stopping my thoughts in their tracks, I immediately told myself that this was not a big deal. I was not that desperate. I was lonely, but I knew my worth. Taehyung would not make me lose sight of that.

Tae: Just checking

“Uh,” Someone cleared their throat from beside me. “Excuse me?”

Looking over, I blinked. The guy was cute, insanely so, with pretty skin and wild black hair. He looked like he just woke up if the wrinkles in his shirt were anything to go by. Pushing back the thin, gold-rimmed glasses resting on his nose, the man smiled nervously.

“I’m Namjoon. 201.”

Mouth hanging open, I looked him over a bit more thoroughly this time. I had never seen my neighbor before and I could see why women liked him. He had an aura that surrounded him. Still, when I noticed he had dimples I could not get him being called ‘daddy’ out of my head. So, this was the nympho?

“Y/N, 203,” I replied, voice small.

My phone chimed again.

Tae: Where’d you go?

Nose wrinkling in discomfort, I did not know how to reply. It had been less than five minutes since he had sent the last message. My discontent from earlier returned and I wondered if I had made a good choice agreeing to the date. Remembering 201, I looked back at him.

“Sorry,” I shook my head, my face still distorted. “This guy is being weird.”

He shook his head, a lazy grin on his face.

“No worries, I get those types all the time,” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked out into the night. “Just wanted to properly apologize about the noise. And the note. I was being passive aggressive.”

Taehyung forgotten, I shook my head and hands at the same time.

“No harm, no foul,” I replied. “I kinda started it anyway. Sorry for calling you an asshole. And then a fuck boy.”

He pulled a face, “You didn’t call me a fuck boy.”

“I insinuated it.”

My phone chimed again.

“You can get that,” He nodded to my hand.

Leaning against the iron fence, Namjoon took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Following suit, I turned my back to the fence and looked at the text chain.

Tae: Y/N???????

Me: I’m getting something to eat. Sorry for not replying sooner.

The reply was instantaneous.

Tae: No worries :)

Tae: I miss you

Thoroughly creeped out, I again found myself at a loss. Screenshotting the conversation, I sent it to Kendall with a slew of question marks. I saw the check marks beside it before the bubble popped up. Kendall had always been great about texting back fast.

KC: uhhh wtf?

KC: block him

Before I could reply to Kendall, Taehyung had already sent another text.

Tae: Can you send me a picture?

Shocked, I blurted out, “What the fuck?”

Namjoon looked at me, an amused look on his face.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Shaking my head, I found myself speaking without much thought.

“He’s a guy I’ve known for a bit. He asked me out this morning and he’s acting weird.”

Namjoon took a step closer to me, looked to see if I was okay with it, and stood right next to me. I showed him the messages easily, my own confusion making my normal walls shattered. I knew the guy was a daddy-dom for Christ’s sake. I think he could see the creepy messages Taehyung was sending me. It would level the playing field.

“Damn,” He whispered, obviously wanting to laugh. “He’s really fucking this up.”

“What does he mean by ‘pictures?’” I asked. “I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“Don’t,” Namjoon quickly interjected. “He’s pushy and clingy. It’ll only get worse if you pay attention to it. I’d block him.”

Nodding, I decided to send a gentle let down before blocking his number.

Me: I think we should cancel Sunday. You’re making me really uncomfortable and I don’t want to see you anymore.

Pressing the block button, I sighed in defeat. That had been the first date I had been asked on in months and it went to shit before it even started. Dejected, I told Kendall that I did. I was not very hungry anymore. Putting my phone in my jacket pocket, I decided to go back inside.

“Hey,” Namjoon said, voice gentle. “Don’t let that guy ruin your night. You were about to go somewhere, right?”

Nodding, I kicked the concrete and pushed off the railing.

“I don’t think I’m all that hungry anymore,” I replied. “I’m going to go inside. Thanks for apologizing and have all the sex you want.”

Namjoon laughed despite himself and came to walk beside me.

“Order some takeout,” He argued. “By the time it gets here you’ll be hungry again.”

He was only being nice because we were rocky, I knew that. Still, I felt touched that he had even tried to make me feel better. My friends were great, but they were all living their lives. No one really had time to help me with mine most of the time. It was nice, friend or not, to have someone looking out for me. I nodded.

“I will,” I put my hand on my door knob. “Do you want anything?”

The olive branch had already been extended at this point. I had let him read my texts, and I was appreciative of his efforts to make me feel better. The least I could do was get him some fried rice. Namjoon smiled at me.

“Sesame chicken or pepper steak. Whichever they have right now.”

I nodded and smiled back. “Gotcha.”

I went inside and closed the door. I heard Namjoon go inside and found myself smiling once again. He was sweet. A very sweet, kind, nymphomaniac with a daddy-kink. Desperate to get that idea out of my head, I called the Chinese restaurant down the street and ordered our food.

I left a tray of sesame chicken and pepper steak outside of his door with a note on it.

Not everything. Just the things you like. -203

I knocked and went back inside before he opened the door. Curling up on my bed, I turned on my tv and waited to hear his door open. When his laugh bounced through the hallway, I smiled over my plate of fried rice.

Putting another container of cat food on the shelf, I sighed into the phone. Kendall had done nothing but laugh at the entire ordeal with Taehyung. Wren, who was laughing right alongside her, struggled to catch her breath.

“I’m sorry,” She wheezed, “This is just too much.”

I rubbed my eyes, frustrated and tired. If I had known all this phone call was just going to be getting made fun of I would not have picked it up. My silence must have clued one of them in since the laughing had stopped a few seconds later.

“You are okay, though, right?” Kendall asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, quietly. “Just… disappointed.”

“Don’t let him make you feel bad about yourself,” Wren said, her voice far away from the phone. “You deserve better than a ‘u up?” text.”

“Yeah, he’s a fucking loser,” Kendall agreed.

Hearing the bell ring, I told the girls I had to go and promised to call them back once I was done with the customer. Putting the box of cat food to the side, I stood up and adjusted my clothes. Putting on my best customer service smile, I stepped onto the main floor.

“Welcome to Adrian’s!” I called out.

My steps flattered once I saw Jungkook swaying near the register. Confused, I checked my watch and realized that it was getting very close to closing. I had not noticed the time flying. Dropping the act, I let myself look as grumpy as I felt.

He was obviously drunk. Head tilted back and a shit-eating grin on his face, Jungkook’s eyes were closed tightly. One look at him and I was already calling Kendall back. The two of them had been fooling around on-and-off since June and I was not in the mood for the walk of shame.

“That was quick,” She answered.

“Come get Jungkook,” I sighed. “He’s blasted and I have to finish putting this cat food away.”

I heard ruffling from the other side.

“He’s at the store?”

I nodded, “Yeah. I’ll keep him company while we wait.”

“We’ll be there in five,” Wren replied, her voice much closer now. “Kendall’s getting some barf bags just in case.”

Walking closer to the drunk man, I shook my head. I remembered when Jungkook had never even touched a drink before. Now it was difficult to find a time when he was sober. I wished I could do more for him, but it was hard to tell where I stood in that regard. We had known each other for years now, but I still knew very little about who he was. We had grown apart after Fawn and never really got back on track.

“Do you think they’ll ever just be together?” I asked absentmindedly.

Kendall was good for Jungkook. She evened him out. Where he was argumentative and overly lax about everything, she was responsible and willing to listen. Kendall always took Jungkook and his moods in stride without much complaint. I knew there was love there, but I was no fool to believe it was a healthy one. Jungkook needed to get his shit together and earn Kendall.

“Maybe,” Wren replied. “If Jungkook gets a therapist and quits the bottle.”

Kendall called out in the background, but I was unable to make it out. Wren and I said our goodbyes, and I placed my hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. Cracking open an eye, Jungkook’s smile grew wide as he found me. Unimpressed, I kept my impression impassive.

“Hey,” He slurred, tripping over nothing and catching himself.

“Hello, Jungkook,” I sighed, steadying him under my hands. “Long night?”

He nodded his head like a toddler with a stupid smile on his face. He looked his age tonight. It broke my heart as much as it warmed it. It was always nice to see him carefree and having fun. The guy was born to demand crowds with a nice smile, but I also knew what he was like when he was not drunk. Shy, meek, and soft spoken- someone that he hated. I missed that kid. We got along a lot more.

“I want to hear about dinosaurs,” He said, voice way too loud and slurred for the otherwise quiet store. “I want you to tell me about dinosaurs.”

Frowning, I helped to move him closer to the counter so he could lean against it. Jungkook enjoyed my stories. He was one of the few guys I knew that seemed excited about my brain rather than taken aback. It was unfortunate we had never been interested in each other. Jungkook would have been a nice change of pace at one point in time. Looking at him now, though, I doubt we would have ever been able to make it past whatever this was. I did not take shit like this. I did not know how Kendall did, but a part of me was happy about it.

“What do you want to know?” I asked, taking a step away from him.

Leaning against the counter, Jungkook struggled to keep his eyes open. He looked so tired. Fawn had destroyed every bit of innocence Jungkook had. First love, first heartbreak, first betrayal- Fawn had done it all. From cheating, to verbal abuse, and all the way to hitting Jungkook in public. It was never hard to understand why Jungkook had sunk so low. It was just hard to understand why he never thought he could climb himself back up.

“What’s new?” He laughed.

Smiling sadly, I thought about the question for a second and tried to pick out the most exciting piece of news. The tusk was the most exciting thing in my life right now, but maybe not so cool to a layman.

“There was a new dinosaur discovered in Utah,” I finally replied. “It’s a beaked guy that’s about 99-million-years-old. They’re calling him Iani Smithi.”

Jungkook snorted obnoxiously, “They named it Ian Smith?”

Laughing along with him, it was easy to forget about his issues. The two of us used to do this sort of thing all the time. He would come into Adrian’s with all of his books and we would shoot the shit for hours. Jungkook was a good study buddy even though we were in completely different fields. He was like the baby brother I never had.

“He’s named after a Roman God and the guy who found him,” I chuckled.

“There’s a God named Ian?”

I raised an eyebrow and waved my hand, “Technically, it’s Ianus.”

“So Ian?” He giggled.

Rolling my eyes, I smiled fondly. Glancing out of the large, glass windows I saw Kendall’s Jeep parking across the street. Knowing our conversation was about to be over, I decided to indulge him a little. He looked happy tonight.

“We can call him Ian, I guess.”

Jungkook made a happy sound. Kendall got out of her four-wheel-drive and briefly looked both ways before crossing. Her hair was up and out of her face with a dark colored headband keeping her blonde bangs out of her face. I liked the pajama shorts she was wearing and made a mental note to ask her about them later. The bell chimed when she walked through the door and she found Jungkook immediately.

Putting on a big, sly grin, Kendall sauntered up to the tall man and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jungkook melted into her with ease and sighed in content. He looked even more tired now that she was here, but I thought it was a good sign. Maybe he will sleep tonight.

“Lets go you big baby,” She cooed, kissing his cheek.

Jungkook nodded in a daze and followed behind her. They were holding hands. Turning toward me, Kendall gave me a smile and wave before leaving. I waved her off and went back to the cat food. She had her hands full with the kid so I would not hold it against her.

Walking home, I got caught in the rain and had to run the rest of the two blocks it took me to get home. No one else had come in and I hoped it would stay that way. I was worried Taehyung would show up and I’d be alone. Maybe he was busy? Did not matter, I was just happy he was leaving me alone.

Racing up the stairs, I almost slipped but caught myself before I face-planted the concrete. Cursing, I grumbled as I walked the last set of stairs. A black eye would be the cherry on top of the already shit night.

Wren had messaged me to let me know that Jungkook was alright. It was a relief but did not make my discomfort go away. He was getting worse. I wondered if Kendall knew about the hickies I had been seeing. It was none of my business, I said to myself. They were a strange duo.

Getting to my door, I saw a small box sitting in front of it. Pulling out my phone, I turned on my flashlight so I could see better in the dark hallway. 201 was written across the top of it bringing a smile to my face. Shaking my head, I picked up the box and unlocked my door.

Stripping out of my wet clothes, I threw it into the pile in the corner I needed to take to the laundromat. After taking a hot shower and going through my nighttime routine, I finally took the box and brought it to my bed. Ripping the top open, I was confused to see another box inside of it. Lifting it, I gasped.

It was a small, Mosasaurus fossil building kit. It was obviously made from Legos, but a different company had made it so they were simply labeled ‘building bricks.’ How did he know I liked dinosaurs in the first place? Looking inside the box again I saw a folded paper at the bottom.

Apparently one of my colleagues knows you. I said you were my neighbor and he said the two of you had gone on a dig together years ago. You are also on his fiance’s shit list, by the way. Didn’t peg you to be the homewrecking type. Closested bad girl? Anyway, I saw this at the museum souvenir shop. Take it as my thanks for the food. Let me see it when it’s done. -Joon

Laughing loudly, Dave Powell’s face came to mind along with his fiance. Jenna Marcel was a girl from our freshman biology class. During undergrad, she and I were not friends but were friendly enough to greet one another and make small talk. Cut to our junior year, Jungkook and Jimin had dragged me to a frat party to celebrate exams being over. I was sloppy drunk and dancing with Jimin until a man, who inebriated me thought was good-looking but was not when I could think straight, got in between us. I ended up making out with him and Jenna found us like that. Apparently, it had been her boyfriend. She had nothing but bad things to say about me ever since and made it her mission to run a smear campaign anytime I was mentioned.

Mood thoroughly lifted, I tried to think if I had ever heard of Namjoon before our meeting the other night. He was a blank to me, but if he worked with Dave then we were in similar fields. I could guess anthropology like Dave, but I would ask to confirm later. Jenna and I worked closely together most of the time as we were both in paleontology, but no one really liked her very much. Too much gossiping and a lot less work getting done in her office. Jenna never really bothered me all that much.

Putting the model kit down on my nightstand, I crawled up my bed toward the wall. Pressing my ear against the wall, I listened but to no avail. It was silent in Namjoon’s apartment. Deciding to test my luck, I raised my hand and knocked on the wall.

“Yeah?” A voice called out a few seconds later.

Jumping, I covered my mouth to keep the surprised shriek in.

“Uh,” I choked before clearing my voice. “Thanks for the Mosasaurus.”

“What is it?” He asked, his voice much closer to the wall now, and I wondered if he looked like I did. Smiling, I leaned my forehead against the rough wall and closed my eyes. I would be able to talk freely for a second time tonight. The feeling was ecstasy.

“It was an aquatic squamate reptile from the late Cretaceous. It was my favorite dinosaur as a kid.”

“What’s that all mean?”

Turning around, I rested my back against the wall.

“It was a really big sea lizard,” I clarified, a small smile on my face.

Namjoon laughed, “Like a dragon?”

Smile growing wider, I replied.

“Just without the fire-breathing and wings.”

“And it’s in the water,” He pointed out.

“There’s sea dragons,” I argued. “What about sea serpents?”

Namjoon laughed again, “Touche.”

A comfortable silence fell between us. It was strange to feel so comfortable with someone like Namjoon. Last week he was the nymphomaniac next door and now we were talking dinosaurs. This was new for me, but it helped ease the loneliness. Namjoon was an easy guy. I knew he liked sesame chicken, sex, and felt comfortable enough with me to buy me a model fossil kit. I wondered if he was lonely, too.

“Are you hungry?” He suddenly asked.

“I could eat,” I replied, more aware of my hunger than I had been before.

I really needed to get better about eating more often.

“There’s a 24/7 taco place around the corner if you want to go.”

“What about the rain?” I asked, not wanting to go back out into the storm.

A long stretch of silence went by.

“I have ramen,” Namjoon finally said. “You could come over if you want.”

Laughing, I decided to be a bit playful.

“Is that what you ask all of your girls?”

I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Only the ones I like.”

I laughed, “So you like me now?”

“I’ve liked you since you put that note on my door.”

Sobering up, I froze. Heart racing, I covered my face and smiled into my hand. He was very forward, but I was not interested in becoming another notch in his bedpost. No matter how cute he was.

But you could be the woman calling him daddy, my mind screamed at me. Stomach warming, I could see it now. I would be on my knees, tears streaming down my face, and Namjoon towering over me. I rubbed my thighs together.

“I’m not interested in a fling,” I said, not even convinced of it myself. It would be so easy. “I’m the monogamous type.”

I heard him hum.

“So am I,” Namjoon replied. “I’ve been hooking up recently, but I do like relationships.”

“What are you asking me, 201?” I cut to the chase, wanting to get to the point already.

“I was asking you to come over,” Namjoon’s voice started to drift away from the wall. “Now I’m asking if I can come over so we can build that sea lizard together.”

His voice was very far away from the wall now and I realized far too late that he was walking toward his door. Scrambling off my bed, I dashed to my dresser to find a pair of pants. I never wore them when I was going to sleep. Stumbling and jumping into the most unflattering pair of pajama pants I owned (why hadn’t I done laundry sooner?) just as a loud knock came to my door. Running, I smoothed down my clothes and messed with my hair a bit before opening it.

“Hey neighbor,” Namjoon greeted me as if we had not been having a conversation before. “Would you like to hang out?”

“Is this a date?” I asked, looking everywhere but his face.

“No,” Namjoon replied. “Just two people getting to know each other.”

Looking at him now, I raised an eyebrow. He had literally asked me to “eat ramen” with him less than five minutes ago. Softening, Namjoon shrugged. Scoffing at him, I crossed my arms over my chest.

“If you’re ‘courting’ me,” I made the quotations with my fingers, “I want to lay some ground rules.”

“Go for it,” Namjoon replied.

“Rule number one:-” I lifted my pointer finger, “-no hook ups. I can literally hear you and it’s weird. Rule number two: I expect this to be a mutual thing. I will only put in the amount of effort you do. And three-” I looked him in the eyes, “-I don’t like liars.”

“So,” Namjoon began counting with his fingers, “We’re not seeing other people, we’re going to do heart and flowers, and lying is punishable by death?”

“Are you okay with that?” I asked.

I thought it was only fair to be as clear as possible. I had expectations, and Namjoon had said he was hooking up right now. I was not fine with something like that, but it did not mean we could not still be friendly. Dating or not, I had figured we would get along just fine.

“I can do that,” He nodded with a smile. “But I just want to focus on being cool. I rush through this shit a lot.”

I opened my door wider.

“Join the club,” I grinned. “Come in.”

Wren tossed her hair over her shoulder, smacking my face with it. Shoving her forward, she laughed and walked up to the counter. I stood behind her and pointed at the flavor I wanted.

“I’ll get a scoop of raspberry sorbet in a cup,” I told the young girl taking our order. “No toppings, please.”

“And I want two scoops of Cookie Monster on a waffle cone,” Wren said. “Chocolate drizzle and marshmallows.”

Scrunching my nose up, I gave Wren a look. Shrugging her shoulders at me and paid for the both of us. We walked to the pick up window and waited.

“I thought you were on a diet?” I asked.

Wren’s mother had been complaining about her weight and it had finally gotten to her head. Jimin told her he thought she looked just fine, but family pressures always made Wren cave. She said it was just the way her family worked, but I knew how hard that sort of thing can be. My family and I were getting better at communicating even with my father’s not-so-silent disapproval of my life choices. Wren’s mom was like that but ten times more intense.

“I gave up after a week,” She shrugged. “My mom’s just going to have to deal with me putting on a few extra pounds.”

“Why is she so obsessed about it anyway?”

Wren shrugged, “It’s a big deal in China so she’s projecting it onto me. I know it’s coming from a good place, but that doesn’t mean I have to deal with her insecurities. I learned that from someone special.”

Fixing me with a pointed look, I smiled shyly. She always said I made her more confident, but I did not believe her. Kendall had done more for Wren’s self love journey than I ever did. I just told her she was her own person six years ago and she acts like I made all of her parental issues go away.

“So who’s this guy you’re seeing?” Wren suddenly switched topics.

Grabbing our order, she handed me my sorbet and the two of us sat at one of the small tables on the other side of the ice cream parlor.

“You remember 201?” I asked, taking a spoonful of sorbet and stuffing it into my mouth. “Turns out he’s much nicer than I gave him credit for.”

Wren squealed. Her mind had gone to sex, I could see the mischievous glint in her eye, and I tried to hide my growing embarrassment. Out of all my friends, Wren had the most experience with good partners and pushed me to expand my horizons, and she knew all about the fiend next door. As if I could see the wheels in her head turned, I braced myself for the conversation to come.

“Who is he?” She asked, coming closer and dropping her voice.

This place was popular amongst students and she was overly paranoid about someone listening in.

“Namjoon Kim,” I replied, biting my lip to stop the smile from taking over my face.

Things between us had been going well. Namjoon was kind and considerate, and like he had said, we had only been acting like friends. Between a late night run to get tacos together and staying up to talk over the phone while I was holed up in the lab, I was happy with the way things were headed. I liked him more than I thought I would.

“I didn’t realize Namjoon was a nympho!” Wren exclaimed, her voice causing a few heads to turn.

Reaching out, I smacked Wren on the top of her head. She pouted childishly, but relented. Sending a few apologetic smiles to the unfortunate souls overhearing our conversation, I glared at Wren in between each one. All I got was a noncommittal shoulder shrug.

“Are you trying to embarrass me?” I whispered harshly.

“You’re the one who’s dropping bombs,” She replied.

“No, I’m trying to have a conversation with you. Very different.”

Wren burst into laughter. Unable to stop myself, I joined her quiet chuckles. I could feel people looking at us, but it only made me laugh harder.

“I can’t believe I called him a nympho in public,” Wren wheezed, hiding behind her hands.

“You didn’t just say it,” I laughed, “You yelled it from the rooftops.”

Shaking her head, Wren took a few large licks of her ice cream.

“He’s a nice dude,” She changed subjects quickly. “We’ve gone on a few digs together. He’s as big of a nerd as you are. You should definitely ask him about Greece- he’s all about Classical art.”

Namjoon was a fan of the arts. The two of us had gone to the Museum of Fine Arts over the weekend, and were planning on stopping by the campus art museum sometime soon. He wanted me to take him on a tour of the Natural History museum first. According to him, he needed a “proper” dinosaur tour since he had never worked with a paleontologist on a dig.

“I’ve heard about Egypt and Kenya already, but I’ll keep Greece in mind,” I replied, eating another spoonful. “What excavation should I bring up? I’ve had fun with all of mine.”

Wren put a finger on her chin, “You haven’t left the U.S?”

I shook my head, “I went to Manitoba during undergrad. I didn’t find much though. The group I was with weren’t as excited about digging as I was. All of my good digs have been in the States.”

“Why didn’t you go to Mongolia with Lupon?” She asked, her first scoop finished.

“You can’t keep anything you find,” I replied. “What’s the fun in that?”

Wren and I were more closely related in fields. Both she and Namjoon were archaeologists and traveled all over the world during the summer. The two of us met during an excavation in Colorado. Dr.Lupon and two other professors from the anthropology department had a large excavation planned for the undergrads. Wren was helping the team dig up some possible fossils, but they had been unsuccessful. My small group was spread out and looking around, but my eyes caught something in the dirt. I had asked her to help me get it up, and we ended up finding a Stegosaurus plate that had broken. The two of us had found the first fossils of the trip and were attached at the hip for the rest of the summer.

“I could talk to him about Dinosaur Ridge.”

Wren nodded enthusiastically, “Don’t forget about Mesa Verde.”

We had gone to the Mesa Verde National Park for a two week tour, study, and small excavation after we were done in Dinosaur Ridge. I had a lot of fun with Wren, but I could not recall too much about Mesa Verde. The architecture was beautiful but it was the most boring excavation I had been a part of to date. I never really counted Manitoba.

“I have a good feeling about this one,” Wren said. “From what I know about him, Namjoon’s a nice guy. A little abrasive at times, but nothing you can’t handle.”

I scoffed, “Jenna already got her ‘homewrecker’ storyline in his head.”

“She’s still not over that?” Wren laughed, voice higher in pitch.

“She did catch her boyfriend’s tongue in my mouth,” I reasoned.

I winced. Namjoon had never brought that up again, but it was still bothering me. Not only was it a bad light to be in- it was just not true. Dave had gotten over it pretty quickly, and Jenna had never had any mean words to say about him. She had ruined two possible relationships for me before and I was afraid it might work on Namjoon if they were together long enough.

“Didn’t they get married?”

“Yeah,” I nodded and took the last bite of my sorbet.

“Then why is she still complaining about it?” She wondered out loud.

“She needs everyone to know that I’m a homewrecker,” I giggled.

It really was petty at our age, but that never seemed to stop her before.

“But no home was wrecked?”

“Want to hear something even worse?” I leaned in and covered the side of my mouth.

Wren leaned in quickly, her eyes wide in excitement. She was such a gossiper. I almost felt bad for telling her, I knew it would be talked about at every function where it was acceptable. Jenna had called me every name in the book, though, so I felt little sympathy for her. Now we could call it even.

“He proposed on both knees,” I snorted.

“What?” Wren exclaimed. “Like begging?”

“No, like Shane Dawson.”

Wren and I both laughed loudly. I laughed so hard my stomach began to hurt and it was difficult to breathe. Wren, on the other hand, had a terrible habit of hurting herself when she laughed. From falling out of chairs to quite literally throwing herself on the floor, she always seemed to leave with a few bumps and bruises. This time she simply banged her knee into the table.

“And she’s pressed?” Wren managed in between bouts of laughter.

I howled like a hyena and felt tears coming to my eyes. I could see the picture vividly in my mind. Morgan, a girl from my department, and I were in Utah doing research when she started laughing before turning her phone so I could see the Instagram post. Dave was wearing flip flops, khakis, and an ill-fitting Baby Yoda shirt, his back perfectly straight and lifted by his knees. Jenna had her hands over her mouth and was crying. I began to laugh even harder. I needed to see if Morgan still had a screenshot.

“Jen, sorry to tell you, babe, but no one wants to wreck that home.” Wren wheezed.

“He was wearing a Baby Yoda shirt.”

Wren snorted.

“I’m done. I’ve heard it all.”

I wiped the tears off my face and began to catch my breath. Wren and I always had a great time together, it was the main reason we got so close, and no one made me laugh the way she did. I sent a text to Morgan and continued my steady breathing. We would both be in stitches the moment we saw it.

“Hey, Y/N?” Wren was suddenly serious.

“Yeah?” I breathed out, looking back at her face. I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks.

“Anyone would be lucky to have you, you know that right?”

I looked away shyly.

“Of course, Wren,” I replied. “I got over that hill.”

She nodded, “Just making sure.”

My phone chimed distracting us both. Waving Wren over, the tense moment was gone. Scooting her chair to my side of the table, I quickly pressed on Morgan’s text. Underneath a few crying-laughing emojis was the photo. Wren took my phone from my hands, her hand cupping her mouth, and another loud wave of laughter overtook the table.

Staring up at my ceiling, I could not fall asleep. I had tried everything. A warm bath, turning off all of the lights and sounds, and even a warm glass of milk. Nothing was working. Bundled under my blanket, I was happy to be safe from the frosty air nipping away at my nose.

The building’s air conditioning was broken and had done nothing but blow freezing cold air. I had pulled out my space heater but it was not very helpful. The vent was right above me and blasting on full force.

Rolling over, I finally gave in and picked up my phone from the charger. I was going crazy just laying here. Scrolling, I replied to a message from Kendall before finding Namjoon’s contact. He had gone out of town yesterday to visit his family in Maine. His parents retired there and his sister was in town from New Zealand.

Glancing at the time, I second guessed myself. He could be sleeping, but I knew his sleep schedule was even worse than mine was. He had afternoon classes and late night projects he did with his friends. They were beginning to plan their summer trip for the year, and it bothered me how much I felt jealous of him. Namjoon would have another four years after this when he came back for his doctorate. I outgrew this place in just six months. The thought bothered me far more than it should have.

Me: Hey

It was still hard to decide what I truly wanted. While this part of me wanted to go off on an adventure, another loved the security that came along with Harvard. I knew everyone, taught plenty, and would always have my once a year dig. The unknown was just that. I had such a ride these last twelve years, and it felt bittersweet to see them go by. Seeing my freshman dorm for the first time felt like yesterday.

Joon: You should be sleeping

Joon: You have a morning class to teach, Ms.Studious

I laughed quietly.

Out of everything I would miss about this place, Namjoon was quickly making his way to the top of the list. I had already had security in my friendships. They would forever be constants in my life. I knew wherever I went that they would always be there. I could visit in the winter and they would fly out in the summer. We would always find each other.

Namjoon was a different sort. We were still navigating the waters of our relationship. I knew we were more than friends, but no moves had been made to become more than that. No kisses, or hugs, or hand holding. There was no goal or finish line in sight. Come May he could decide that he was not willing to put up with me anymore, and it still felt too unstable to talk about it with him. What would he want?

Me: It’s too cold and I can’t sleep

The reply was quick.

Joon: They still haven’t fixed that?

Me: Nope

Me: Apparently my room is the worst. Jungkook said his place barely felt any different and yours was already broken to begin with. This sucks.

Shivering again, I grumbled to myself. I hated this complex. I was the most excited about moving out and getting something nicer. I never bothered while I was enrolled since the rent was cheap and it was something affordable. I could pay rent and still stash away money- something that could not be said for anywhere else in Massachusetts.

Joon: You could sleep at my place

I smiled. He had offered his apartment the day he left, but I refused. At the time it had not been as bad. I was also unsure why he was giving me permission in the first place. Was it as a friend? Or was it as a man who was interested in me? It was impossible to know and I was too anxious to ask. He was wearing these ripped denim jeans that were driving me crazy.

Joon: I’d feel more comfortable if you did

It was a rare occasion to have a sentimental comment made by the guy. Wanting to fish a bit more, I decided to bait him just a little. With a slick grin, I replied.

Me: 🤨

Joon: You have to teach a geology class at 7am

Joon: So you need to sleep

Joon: I’m doing this for your students, 203

I giggled.

Me: Whatever you say, 201

A call screen popped up before I could be happy with my reply. Namjoon never called me. Taking a few breaths, I calmed my excitement down before answering.

“Hello?”

“You calling me a liar?” Namjoon replied, his amusement evident.

Trying to relax, I snuggled deeper into my blankets.

“And if I am?” I bit back.

I always loved flirtatious and playful, and it was rare that Namjoon was neither one. He came on very strongly without ever laying a finger on me. It was a surprising turn on.

He laughed, “Oh, you’ll see.”

“Will I?” I drawled.

He was a fan of hard to get. I never pulled away too much, and it was only when we were messing around, but I could tell he liked it. I doubted anything I had done since the first note I’d left on his door excited him the same way.

“I’ll be home tomorrow, 203,” Namjoon warned. “Don’t start some shit you can’t finish.”

I scoffed, “You called me, 201.”

Namjoon chuckled. He sounded happier than usual. We talked about his family a lot, and I knew how much he loved them. His little sister was more distant than he was, but the two of them got along really well when she was home. He had to keep the peace so she and their mother would not argue. His father was a quiet man with a warm personality, while his mother was the polar opposite. He was much closer to her, but loved them both. I could imagine how glad he was to spend time with them.

“I miss you.”

Stunned, it took me a second to reply.

“I miss you, too.”

And I meant it. Things were way too quiet without him around. I had never noticed just how isolated I had really become over the last few years. Wren and I used to spend every day together until she met Jimin. Kendall took up her space for a while, but her job was very demanding of her time so that faded as well. Jungkook was too focused on school and drinking to care about anybody else. My colleagues did not really count as friends since I never saw them outside of school, and I was not someone who got out as much as I used to. The world was very quiet until he moved in.

“Sorry if that was weird,” He quickly interjected, mistaking my silence for something else.

“No, no,” I rushed, sitting up. “Just unexpected. I don’t mind it.”

The cold air hit me all at once, and I quickly plopped back down. Wrapping the blanket around me tightly, I accidently let out a rush of air. My teeth began chattering.

“I won’t tell you what to do,” Namjoon was calm again. “I have a spare key underneath the mat you’re free to use.”

“Thank you,” I replied even if I did not plan on using it.

My graduation date came back to my mind. I had applied to a few places already, but had either been turned down or lost interest in the position after the interview. The only place that was left were a few museums that I was very interested in. One in New York was the most exciting prospect, and I had heard they were going to need new staff this coming year, but no job postings had been listed yet. Dr.Lupon said she should get me the job if I really wanted it, but I was not sure how comfortable I felt about that either.

“What’s on your mind?” Namjoon spoke, breaking me away from my thoughts.

“Huh?” I replied, dumbly.

“I could hear you thinking through the phone,” He joked. “Maybe you’ll sleep if you get it off your chest.”

Humming, I thought about it for a minute. It was scary to talk about this stuff with Namjoon, I was worried about where it would hurt us, but I was also afraid of where we would go if I didn’t.

“I’m just nervous about graduation,” I finally settled on. I was not ready to dive into everything with him yet. “I’ve been here for so long, you know?”

“How long have you been at Harvard?” He asked, his voice light.

“12 years,” I replied. “I studied geology for my undergrad and masters. I have worked with the paleontology department since freshman year, though.”

“You’ll be fine,” He reasoned. “I’m sure you have plenty of options.”

I scoffed. He was not wrong, but it was never so black and white. At least, it never felt that way.

“What do you want to do?” I asked, switching subjects. “After graduation?”

If he caught on my deflection, he chose not to comment on it.

“I’d be happy to be a part of the research team here,” He replied. “I’m also a fan of a few museums.”

“But if you had it your way? What then?”

Namjoon chuckled, “Then I’d say a project manager.”

It was comforting to know that I had guessed his answer correctly. He was an adventurous guy who loved to dig. It made sense for him to want to be in charge of one. I was more of a lab rat than anything, but I enjoyed an excavation like anybody else.

“I want to be a museum director,” I admitted.

“Wow,” He said. “Didn’t expect that. Why?”

Settling further into my bed, I closed my eyes.

“My grandfather worked as a researcher at the Field Museum,” I started, a small smile on my face. I could see his face in my mind. “He was a paleoanthropologist, so closer to what you do, but he loved to take me on road trips in the summer to go fossil finding.”

I looked back on those memories fondly. We never really found much of anything except shark teeth out in Florida. I still had a huge collection of them back at my parent’s house. I was surprised they hadn’t thrown them out when I left, my dad always complained about how cluttered it all was, but I guessed they missed me more than they let on. My mom knew how much those teeth meant to me.

During that time I thought I would grow up and be just like him, but once I turned 10 I changed my mind. My mom had been a helicopter parent that limited everything that I saw as a child. I ended up spending a weekend at grandpa’s house and he had taken me to see Ice Age in theaters. I was completely obsessed with Diego, and found myself buying books about the Ice Age. Then about dinosaurs. Our next trip was to Kelley’s Island, Ohio where I found some fossilized coral and a few crystals in the limestone. That was the summer I knew I wanted to be a paleontologist- little did I know I would spend more time looking at rocks than sabertooth tigers and mammoths.

“That sounds nice,” Namjoon replied. “All of my knowledge was from Indiana Jones.”

I laughed.

“Nothing wrong with that.”

I could picture a young Namjoon running around his house wearing a cowboy hat yelling about booby traps. It must have gone against the grain for his family. They were a lot like mine- working class and safe. His father was in business and his mother was a teacher. He and his sister were ambitious, and his rebellion rubbed off on her. Of course, they were proud of him, but it was difficult to convince them that he was making good choices. I frowned. I don’t think my family was all that proud of me outside of getting into Harvard.

“You know I think the world of you, right?” He suddenly asked, serious.

“Huh?”

“I’m just saying you don’t give yourself enough credit,” He clarified. “You really don’t have anything to worry about. Whatever you want you can get, so go for it.”

I bit my lip, “And if it doesn’t work out?”

He snorted, “Doubtful. Still, even if you don’t get something right out of school you’ll be just fine. You’ve made it this far.”

I heard him moving around and I realized that he was in bed. I wondered again if I had actually woken him up. He continued to talk.

“You should come with me this summer.”

Blinking, I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I was invited on an excavation to Africa with a group of us and a few professors. I can see if you could come along. They would probably love to have some additional eyes and ears.”

I yawned loudly. I was getting very tired. Namjoon chuckled but did not tease me about it the way he normally would. He was waiting for a response.

“You can ask,” I answered, excited by the prospect. “I’m always happy to go on a dig, and I’ve never been out of the country before.”

He laughed in disbelief.

“I’d grill you about that, but you’re exhausted. Get some sleep, 203.”

I hummed, tucking my blanket under my chin. The cold was still nipping at my body, but I was not as bothered by it as I had been. Talking had been a nice distraction. My eyes closed on their own accord, and I sighed content.

“You, too, 201,” I mumbled. “See you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be back around 6.”

“Day or night?” My voice was very quiet now.

“Night,” I could tell he was smiling. “Can I come over?”

I yawned again, “Sure. I’ll be in class until 8.”

“Night, Y/N.”

I grinned, “Night, Joon.”

I placed my phone beside my pillow and cracked open my eyes. I hung up before rolling over. I was asleep seconds later.

Checking my watch again, I smiled. I only had a few minutes left of lab work before I was free. Glancing over at Morgan, she was hunched over a microscope looking at some plants. I wondered how fun being a Paleobotanist could really be, but coming from studying rocks for eight years I guessed it was more exciting than that.

The lab was practically empty this evening. Not many of us took these night classes, but I loved them. I would just go to work right after I finished up and keep the momentum up for the next day. I was happy the shop was closed for the week due to repairs. It gave me some breathing room to focus on my thesis, and I would be able to go and see Namjoon.

Deciding to start putting my supplies away, put disposables on a metal trey and took out another to begin the process of putting away the fossil I was collecting data on. Tonight, instead of the tusk, I was asked to look at a new trilobite fossil casted in limestone. It was a smooth, easy, and quiet day of writing and sample taking. Bringing the fossil back to the museum’s storage room, I bumped into Dr.Lupon.

“Oh! Y/N,” She exclaimed, a large smile on her face. “I was just about to come looking for you.”

I nodded, “Nice to see you, Dr.Lupon. I was just putting away the trilobite from this morning.”

“Sure, sure,” She nodded, waving toward the room. “Go and do that then meet me back in my office. I have someone who wants to speak with you.”

And then she was whirling away, shouting out to some of the other students to let them know they should start cleaning up. Her long, white peacoat flared out behind her and her heels clicked loudly. I shook my head and went back to work. I could not think of a single person who would want to see me at this hour.

After getting out of my lab gear, I messaged Namjoon to let him know I would be a little late to talk with my professor. Going to find Dr.Lupon proved easier than normal. She really was in her office. Normally, I would have to run all over the museum to find her.

“There she is,” Dr.Lupon smiled, gesturing me in. “Come on in, Y/N.”

Aside from Dr.Lupon sat two older men. One was bald, his skin tan and showing minimal signs of aging. The other had long, wavy, orange hair with thick strands of gray beginning to show. He had a full beard and wore thin, wire glasses. Both of them stood up to greet me. The bald man had a gentle, barely there handshake while the other’s was firm. I gave them both a tight-lipped smile and introduced myself.

“Dr.Christopher Jonas,” The bald man replied, a warm smile on his face.

“Dr.Alistair Moody,” The ginger said after with a thick, English accent. He did not seem as friendly, and reminded me of one of my former biology instructors. That guy was an asshole. “Pleasure to meet you, Dr.Y/L/N.”

I laughed nervously, “I’m not a doctor just yet, Dr.Moody.”

“You will be in a short few months.”

Dr.Jonas gestured to a third seat on their side of the desk. Dr.Lupon was sat comfortably in her seat. Walking over, I sat in the chair. Moody sat beside me and Jonas on the far left. Dr.Lupon gave me a cheeky wink before getting down to business.

“Well, Y/N,” She started. “One of Dr.Moody’s students asked if you would be interested in joining them on an excavation to Sudan and he arranged for a meeting.”

Looking over at Moody, I nodded politely. He was quick, no nonsense, and seemingly hopeful to have me on the team if he went to the trouble of setting up a meeting with Lupon. I knew many faculty members found her hard to work with due to how excentric she could be. I adored the bubbly blonde, and was eternally grateful for all she had done for my career. She believed in me the same way my grandfather had.

“Yes,” I nodded. “I told him that he could see if there was any more room for the trip.”

“We were surprised to hear you were interested at all,” Dr.Jonas spoke up. I guessed he would be another professor organizing everything. “You’re a very difficult woman to convince.”

I laughed. “Have you tried before?”

“Oh, yes,” He laughed, rolling his eyes playfully. “I took my wife’s last name when we got married. You knew me as Christopher Hamal at the time, and I think I emailed you so often you put me in your spam folder.”

Laughing out loud, I clutched my stomach. I remembered Mr.Hamal very well. He was still getting his doctorate and begged me to join his team for a trip to Somalia. Unfortunately, I was far too swamped with work and going through a large argument with my family. I was also not very interested in any archaeological digs since I would be stuck on rock duty. Now, however, rock duty sounded like more fun than nothing at all.

“I’m sorry about that,” I chuckled. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I admire your tenacity, but I was really busy and couldn’t find time to go for a winter trip.”

Jonas laughed, “I should have seen you in person, it might have gone over better. Besides, after reading all of your research papers from the time, I have to say I’m glad you stayed behind. They were fantastic.”

I smiled at the man. It seemed like everyone was trying to be sure I was locked in this time. I thought over the journey to Sudan and hoped he meant caves. There were so many beautiful cave paintings there, and I would love the chance to see them in person. Rock duty, or dig duty, was always fun when you got to see cool shit.

“Anyway,” Moody spared me a small grin. “We just wanted to confirm your interest. We are in desperate need of support staff for the first timers, and I believe you would be a great asset to our team.”

“Before you answer that,” Lupon interrupted me before I could speak. “I’ve volunteered both Morgan Dawson and three of my first year doctoral students to go as well. We will be taking a small tour of Africa, and I would expect for you to be there for both Sudan and the trip after.”

I nodded, “What will I be doing for the rest of the trip?”

Dr.Lupon smugly smiled, “You will be my assistant. Morgan is our data collector for this trip, and I want you to be the one making sure whatever we find is properly protected.”

I smiled brightly, “Ms.Dawson and I work well together.”

The three of them seemed pleased by my comment. Deciding to bring the meeting to a close, I looked at Dr.Moody.

“I’d love to join the team.”

Jonas clapped happily and quickly stood from his seat and leaned over the other man. I took his outstretched hand happily, the smile never leaving my face. He seemed to be more excited about my presence than I did.

“Wonderful news!” He laughed, his good mood infectious.

“Indeed,” Moody chimed in, his reactions more in line with a serious professional. Still, he offered me his hand. “I’ve heard great things about you, Dr.Y/L/N.”

I looked away bashfully. Dr.Lupon was over the moon, her brown eyes sparkling with delight. She and Jonas shared a handshake.

“Y/N’s a treat,” She gushed. Looking over at me, I could see a glint of mischief in her eye. Lupon was prone to meddling and I worried what she might say. “Christopher was the head field paleontologist at Glendive before he came to Harvard.”

Glendive was one of the largest dinosaur museums in America. Based out of Montana, I had gone twice with my grandfather during our summer trips, but it had never caught my eye outside of the fossils. Glendive had far more biblical roots than was normal for a museum, and their philosophy did not really match my own. Still, it was impressive for Jonas to be affiliated with them. It was not an easy task.

“That’s nice,” I smiled politely.

“Where are you headed after graduation?” Dr.Moody asked.

Again, Dr.Lupon responded before I could. She was most definitely meddling, but for once it did not bother me. I was still excited about the good meeting.

“She’s still looking.”

Dr.Moody looked at me confused. No doubt he was expecting something a bit more substantial. I knew Morgan was on her way to Berlin, many of his own students were more than likely already making their own future plans, and I was still stuck. It was strange in our line of work. If you had enough connections- anything could happen, and I had more than enough to get a job somewhere.

“What’s holding you back?” He asked, an eyebrow raised.

I shrugged, “I was hoping the Field Museum would have something, but unfortunately they’re fully staffed.”

Dr.Moody regarded me for a moment. I assumed he was sizing me up. I had a great reputation, my grades were impeccable, and my knowledge was useful. Truly, any museum I went to would be lucky to have me on staff. I was more of an asset than one might think. I was just being stubborn. I had no idea what I wanted.

“Well,” Moody said after a moment. “I doubt Glendive would scratch that itch for you. No offense, Jonas.”

“None taken,” He replied good-naturedly. “I know it’s not the place for everyone.”

“I’m a volunteer at the AMNH,” Moody continued without missing a beat. “They have a few openings for the invertebrate department. Apply.”

Blinking rapidly, I tried to calm my breathing. Field was my dream location, but the American Museum of Natural Science was almost untouchable. Their teams were huge, dedicated, and highly sought after. I hadn’t even gone on their site to see if they were hiring. I would be honored to get the job, but I was worried if my connection would make things unfair.

“Oh, Y/N!” Lupon exclaimed. “You should most definitely apply. You’d be such a great addition to their team. I remember working there back in the early 2000s and I adored it.”

I had completely forgotten about Dr.Lupon’s affiliation. I recall her saying she was in the vertebrae department in her early years. It had been before she went back to school for her doctorate here at Harvard. I smiled at her, hoping it conveyed that I knew exactly what she was doing.

“I’ll look into it,” I finally said to Moody. “I’ve always loved the AMNH.”

He nodded at me, a small smile on his face. I was hopeful by his pleased look. Maybe I could manage to score the job.

“The museum is actually sponsoring the trip,” Jonas said. I had forgotten he was here. “I’m sure they’d be fine with you coming.”

Moody nodded, “The position I’m talking about is in the field. You’d also have to help with the research part of things, but I doubt you’d mind it all that much.”

I shook my head, “Not at all.”

We spoke for a few more minutes about some small details regarding the trip, and Jonas said he’d send me an email with all of the information attached. After giving him all of my contact information, I excused myself.

“I’ll have to thank Namjoon Kim for convincing you,” Jonas sighed.

“He’s never been afraid of putting himself out there,” Moody grinned. He was fond of my neighbor, and it warmed my heart. Namjoon had a way of doing that. “It’s his best quality.”

Dr.Lupon raised an eyebrow at me. The other two men were engrossed in their conversation. I shrugged my shoulders, but allowed a smile. Her eyes lit up in excitement. Dr.Lupon and I had grown rather close over the years, and her old age did not stop her from living like a 21-year-old model. My love life was a topic of conversation when we were alone, and I would have to talk with her about Namjoon at some point. It would not be in front of the two men.

“Well, thank you both again,” I announced. “It is late, however, and I have some plans for the evening. I’ll be taking my leave.”

The three of them bid me goodnight and safe travels. I left before I could get swallowed up in another conversation. Checking my phone, I winced when I looked at the time. I had been here for a lot longer than I realized. Pulling up Namjoon’s phone number, I pressed call.

“Hey,” He answered after a couple rings.

“I’m so sorry,” I rushed, pushing open the doors to get outside. “I got called into a meeting and couldn’t leave.”

He hummed, obviously not upset.

“What was the meeting about?”

I unlocked my bike from the bike rack and placed Namjoon on speakerphone. I secured my helmet in place before responding.

“That Sudan excavation. Dr.Moody and Jonas just wanted to iron out details, and of course, my professor weaseled her way into the project.”

He laughed, “What’s the catch, then?”

I smiled, kicking off. I had put my phone on the holder I installed on my handlebars.

“I’ll only be in Sudan for 4 weeks instead of the three months,” I pouted. “I’ll be in Zambia and Tanzania after. Then, I think we’ll swing by the Karoo Basin. Dr.Lupon hasn’t made that official just yet.”

I cycled quickly, but not enough to hinder my ability to talk. I think he was perfectly fine with my late night, but I still felt guilty about leaving him hanging. I was so excited to see him earlier, but now it felt like I was walking into an argument. My mother hated tardiness. I bit my lip. Namjoon was nothing like her, I reasoned. In fact, my mom would never, ever approve of him if she knew him on a personal level. She’d call him a pig, dim-witted, know-it-all, and rant and rave about his baggy clothes. I relaxed. There was no way he would ever act like her.

“Why would she want to?” He asked.

I turned onto my street.

“The Karoo Basin is one of the best spots for digging. It’s the reason we know as much about the mass extinction as we do. It’s a hard spot to pass up- even if it’s just a quick history lesson and taking pictures.”

I pulled up to the bike rack out front. I parked quickly, locked it up, and threw my helmet into the basket on the front. Taking my phone off the holder, I pressed it to my ear now.

“I just got home,” I heard Namjoon getting out of bed on the other side and his door opening. I smiled. “I’ll see you in a second.”

“I’ll be here.”

Hanging up, I stuffed my phone into my pocket. I only made it a few steps before I heard a familiar voice call my name. Stiffening, I almost made a run for it, but I didn’t know if that would only make things work. I decided to be nice, I was good at that, but firm.

Taehyung jogged up to me, slightly winded. He looked normal, like he never made me uncomfortable, and even placed a hand on my shoulder to steady himself. He braced his knee with the other. I was uncomfortable immediately, but found myself frozen.

“I’ve been trying to run into you,” He finally said, standing up. He did not move his hand.

“Why’d you block me?” He demanded, the friendly tone never leaving his voice.

Still, I was unsettled. Everything about his demeanor said he was far from calm and friendly. His shoulders were tense, his grip on my shoulder ever so slightly tighter than it should be, and the smile on his face almost seemed painted on. It was too wide, too joyful, and showed too many teeth for someone who had been rejected.

I shrugged my shoulders to see what he would do. His grip only got tighter. Laughing awkwardly, I then took a step away from him. His hand loosened but did not move all the way. Growing more uncomfortable, I shuffled.

“I told you,” I started, my voice gentle and unsure. “You were making me uncomfortable. You still are.”

Taehyung sighed, and I swore it sounded frustrated, but the openness in his expression said anything but. In fact, he looked heartbroken. Shifting awkwardly, I tried again to remove his hand. He let me go this time, but took a few steps closer to me. I took one back. He took another.

“I just like you so much,” He said, anguished. “I didn’t mean to come off like that. I swear! I just wanted to see your face.”

I didn’t believe him, but I thought I was being too hard on him. Maybe, if I just acted nicely he would go away and I could see Namjoon. He was probably wondering where I was. I gave Taehyung a weak smile.

“No, I understand, " I said, my voice hollow even to my own ears. “I, uh, I appreciate that.”

Taehyung seemed to pounce now. The sadness in his eyes was gone and instantly replaced with excitement. It was unnerving and I took another step back. He followed me again. I wanted him to go away.

“So, can we still go out?” He asked, the happiness in his voice clearly fake. Or was it? I didn’t know him well enough to say yes or no. I was growing angry with the back and forth my mind kept doing. “We can go right now, if you want. There’s a taco place that’s open a few blocks over.”

I wanted to vomit at the thought of going to Namjoon and I’s spot with anyone else. Especially Taehyung. My skin crawled at the thought of being alone with him. Seeing him tonight put a lot in perspective for me. How much of our friendly relationship had been for show? When he asked me out, did he think I would do whatever he asked without question? Whatever the case was, I felt my own anger bubbling. He was so see through he could have been made of glass.

“Actually-”

“Hey!”

My heart leapt. Frantically, I looked for Namjoon. He was a few feet away, his mouth set into a hard line, and coming closer. Smiling in relief, I quickly backed away from Taehyung and started walking closer to the dark-haired man. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder protectively.

Taehyung’s happy face was gone just as quickly as the happy one. He openly glared at Namjoon, his eyes dark. This only seemed to egg Namjoon on, and he simply pulled me closer to him.

“Didn’t they tell you approaching women at night is a bad idea?” Namjoon asked.

Taehyung's scowl deepend. “I’m her friend, dude. Who the fuck are you?”

I frowned. No, we were not friends. I never considered him one either. He was starting to scare me. Namjoon was unbothered.

“Her boyfriend,” He shot back. “So, I’ll have to say no to those tacos.”

Pulling me away, Namjoon was at ease as we walked away from Taehyung. I had to fight the urge to look back at him. I was worried about who I would see this time.

He waited until we were going upstairs to ask me about the situation. I explained that it had been Taehyung, the guy who I had to block a few weeks ago, and how it had been the first time I’d seen him since.

“He was weird tonight,” I admitted, unlocking my door. “Really weird, actually.”

Namjoon hummed but said nothing more. Wanting to brighten the mood, I immediately took my jacket off once we got inside. Throwing it on my bed, I turned and hugged Namjoon tightly. I could feel the tension leave his shoulders immediately and his arms wrapped around my waist. Placing a gentle kiss to the top of my head, he sighed happily.

“I’m happy to see you,” He said.

And with that, Taehyung was removed from my mind.

Looking over at Namjoon, I found it harder and harder to concentrate. The two of us had been at the library for two hours, and each time I looked over my books, my will to study dwindled.

He looked nice today. Nicer than I was used to seeing him. He had a job interview this morning, something that he would start once we were back from the excavation, and he did not have the time to go home and change afterwards. He said he did not want to be late to our study session. I was doubtful.

I knew he knew how his black slacks hugged his thighs, accentuating the muscles there, and highlighting how long his legs were. It was like they never stopped. Eyeing his belt, the thoughts of him taking it off ruined my concentration again. I heard him chuckle, but I still refused to acknowledge just how worked up I was.

Things were still slowly getting more heated between the two of us since the night I had run into Taehyung. Soft forehead kisses were a commonplace now, and everyone he introduced me to knew me as his girlfriend. We had not, however, gone much further than that.

It was starting to drive me insane. Namjoon had a habit of gently touching me whenever we were alone. Innocent, sweet, and caste touches that left me starved for his attention. I wondered if he thought we needed more time, but I found that hard to believe as well. Something else was going through his head, and I was trying my best to be patient.

Taking another quick look at him, I admired how tightly the deep purple button up strained against his chest. The top three buttons were open, exposing some of his tanned chest and I worked very hard to keep my breathing in check. He was so pretty it hurt.

Namjoon laughed again. I quickly looked back at my book. He found my ogling funny. I swore I saw his chest puff from my seat, and I bit my lip to suppress my growing smile. He was enjoying himself.

“Take a picture,” He said after catching me again. “It’ll last longer.”

Closing my book, I placed it on the table and grinned.

“You look nice.”

Namjoon smiled, his dimples on full display. He enjoyed compliments more than Jimin, something that I never thought I would say. I wanted to introduce them eventually. I knew they would get along, and my friends have been badgering me about meeting my “mystery man.” Wren knew him, but she went along with Kendall’s whining.

“You look better,” He shot back, wiggling his eyebrows.

I scoffed. He always did that. I made a show of looking over my old tracksuit and raised an eyebrow. He chuckled, keeping his voice down.

“Oh, yeah, definitely better.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You’re impossible.”

I started putting my books away, Namjoon joining without asking. He always followed my lead. Startled, I realized that we were stuck because of me. Without saying a word, he had put every ball in my court to see where I would throw it. It was not until after my late night texts that he knew he could do the same to me. Hugs had also been initiated by me. Even our first conversation, even if they were through notes, had been all me. The only time he had pushed was after he thought long and hard about it. Only when I failed to push further did he see how far he could go. Looking at him now, I knew that he would do whatever I wanted.

What did I want?

“Where are we going, 201?” He asked, his eyes bright.

A wave of calm washed over me as I regarded him. He truly was the kindest man I had ever met. The echo of a woman screaming for him only made me smile harder. He was as kind as he was mean, and I was growing curious about the other side of him. Very, very curious.

“How do you feel about meeting some friends of mine?” I asked.

He nodded, “Sounds like fun. You said I already know one of them, yeah?”

We started walking downstairs. We had set up at the top floor of the library in a far off corner. I placed my finger over my mouth as we walked. There were a lot of students here studying and I did not want to get on the librarian’s bad side. He was known for kicking people out over the pettiest things. I responded once we were outside.

“Wren Wu,” I replied.

“Oh!” He exclaimed, excited. “She’s the French-Chinese girl, right?”

Laughing, I nodded.

“That’s the one.”

Wren was a minority in her field. Mostly surrounded by white men it did not surprise me that Namjoon would remember her Ethnicity more than anything else. It was rare to see a woman of color at all, but a Chinese woman who could speak Cantonese and French was even rarer.

Wren had told me the two of them tended to stick together on their excavations. There was an Egyptian man and a woman from Nigeria that she was also close with. Apparently, they felt far more comfortable with one another than anyone else. I knew Wren was chased a lot by the men she worked with and took great pleasure in saying she was married.

“She’s always fun,” Namjoon laughed, remembering something. “I’d love to meet her outside of work.”

“You’ll also meet her husband,” I said, looking for Namjoon’s car. “You’ll like him a lot. He was a Classics major, and got his Ph.D. two years ago. He’s teaching at an all boy’s school now.”

Finding the silver Volvo was easy enough, and I pointed in its direction. Namjoon clicked his lock just to be sure. The headlights flashed.

“Sounds stuffy,” He admitted.

I laughed, “Jimin’s the furthest thing from stuffy. He’s more reserved now, but back in the day he was an absolute terror.”

I slid into the passenger seat with ease. Namjoon quickly started the car and turned the heating on. It had started snowing a few days ago and the wind was horrible. I placed my hands in front of the vent to warm up. He shot me a glare as he pulled out. He had been upset that I forgot to wear gloves. I smiled sheepishly back.

“Who else will be there?” He asked, his interest growing.

“Kendall and Jungkook,” I said, not realizing that I made them sound like a couple before it was out of my mouth. I ignored it and kept going. “Maybe Hoseok if he’s not working. Jimin’s cousin, Yoongi, always shows up to our get-togethers.”

“Who are they?”

Namjoon hated driving in silence, and hated putting on music to fill it up even more. He always thought there was something to talk about- even if there wasn’t. I relaxed into my seat and began talking.

“Kendall’s a paramedic. I met her through Wren. Jungkook has been my best friend since freshman year and is in law school. Hoseok is a physician at Children’s Hospital, and Yoongi is a real estate agent. They were roommates for years, and always threw Christmas parties. We met after Wren invited me to one when she and Jimin started dating.”

That had been a rough year. I had been seeing this guy for a few months, and Jenna ended up getting in his head. He broke up with me over text and promptly blocked me soon after. Wren refused to let me sulk, and my dad was giving me the silent treatment so I did not go home. After dragging me out, I was surprised at how much fun I had. Hoseok and I even kissed under the mistletoe, but I chose not to tell Namjoon about that. We were tipsy off the eggnog and never spoke about it again.

“When are you supposed to see them?” He asked, turning into our apartment parking lot.

I shrugged, “I’ll call Wren once I get inside to see.”

He pulled up to the stairs. He had class in a few minutes, but insisted on dropping me off. After Taehyung he was more cautious about leaving me alone. I appreciated it but I did not think it was really necessary.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” He looked over at me and smiled.

As much as I did not want to leave the car, I knew I had to. With a wave and a kiss on his cheek, I got out and made my way upstairs. The cold nipped at my skin and I rushed to get to my door. I saw a small Amazon box sitting out front with my mother’s name on it and sighed. She had been very disappointed when I told her I would be staying on campus for Christman break. Again. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that dad was the only reason I did not want to go back.

I made the trip for Thanksgiving, but it was not long after I got there that my dad picked a fight with me. My mom and I had come to an understanding years ago already, and I could tell that she was making an effort to respect my decisions. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for my dad. When I told him that I would only move back to Chicago if I got a job at Field, he was livid and demanded to know why I treated them so badly. I ended up staying at my uncle’s house for the rest of my trip, and only called my mom to tell her “Happy Thanksgiving.” I did not want to deal with it for Christmas either.

Slipping inside, I was happy that the heating was fixed. It was still weak and practically room temperature, but it was much better than cold air blasting. I turned on my space heater and got a pair of scissors from the kitchen.

Opening the box, I smiled sadly. Inside was a small set of chisels and a brand new hammer. A pair of gloves as well as a small journal were underneath them. She never really knew what to buy me, not sure how I would react to things, but always tried. This was the first time she ever bought me excavation gear.

Putting the box away under my bed, I knew I should call her first and then get in touch with Wren. I would need them to pick me up. Preparing myself, I pressed the call button and waited. No amount of breathing or calming exercises helped. She picked up on the third ring and I nearly cried. I loved her but it was hard to be in her life. I heard a man’s voice in the background, and nearly hung up. Why did he have to be home?

“Hello?”

I took a deep breath and forced a smile to my face. That helped. Pretending helped.

“Hey mom,” I said, proud of how strong it sounded.

“Oh!” I could hear her joy and it nearly brought me to my knees. I heard my dad ask who it was and she said my name. He was very quiet and I think I heard something slam. I closed my eyes and hung my head. “It’s so nice to hear your voice. Did you change your mind about Christmas?”

Sniffling, I wiped the tears from my cheeks. With great effort, I brought the smile back. I doubt she would ever be able to tell when something was wrong with me. She had never been the most aware mother despite her best efforts.

“No,” I replied. “I actually got something in the mail from you.”

“From me?” She was confused. I was confused. “I didn’t send you anything.”

Dragging the box back out, I reread the name on the package and confirmed that it was for sure her. She was very adamant that she had never sent me anything, but maybe it was her sister. They both used the same Amazon account. I agreed with her but did not believe it for a second. Aunt Halle would have given me romance books and expensive chocolates. There was only one other person who would send me something like this, and I knew I would have to talk to him.

“Hey mom?” I interrupted her story about her Bingo night.

“Yes?” She asked, oblivious to the way my voice wobbled.

“Can you put dad on the phone?”

She went very quiet. She hated out fights more than anybody, and I always felt awful for her. Forever stuck in the middle without any guidance on who to choose. I knew she agreed with me, I knew that she just wanted me to be happy, and I knew that she knew he always started the fights. But I also knew that she hated me being so far away, she hated how different we were, and she hated that I had made everything so difficult. If I had just did what they wanted me to do then we would still be a family, but I couldn’t leave things alone. I was too much like my grandfather.

“I’ll go get him,” She finally replied, voice soft as a feather.

It took a few minutes, and I heard their hushed anger through the other side. He did not want to talk to me. I looked at the box and steadied myself. No, he obviously did want to talk to me, but he was a prideful man. He was not used to me being disagreeable, and had a hard time looking at me like a grown woman. I repeated the mantra in my head until he came to the phone.

“Y/N,” He greeted me, apprehensive and hesitant. “What do you need to talk with me about?”

I knew he loved me, I knew he adored me, and I knew he truly thought he was doing the right thing. That did not make the hurt go away. A fresh set of tears ran down my cheeks at the sound of his voice. He had been talking to me like that since I turned 16.

“I got the package,” I replied, just as closed off and cold.

We went around and around each time.

He cleared his throat. “Good.”

“Yeah.”

I took a breath and tried once again to calm myself. This should not be this hard, but it was. I wiped my face and focused on the heavy breathing on the other side of the phone. He was just as bad as I was. We were both stubborn. It almost made me laugh.

“Come home for Christmas,” He all but begged, his voice much softer now. “Your mother misses you.”

I shook my head in defeat, “I know she does.”

We both knew what I wanted him to say.

“Think about it,” He urged, not giving in.

I always had a hard time accepting this side of my dad. When I was a girl, he was loving. He would always humor me, and he always took the time out of his day to answer whatever stupid questions I asked him. For every “why” I asked my dad would always find an answer. Even if it was “I don’t know” he would give me that. Things changed as I did, and I never really knew why. Kendall said it was normal for parents to have a difficult time with their children growing up, but she had a completely different family from mine. She was raised by a single mother who only learned to love her more with each passing year. My parents mourned the child they always wanted that I could never give them.

“Dad,” I sighed. “Why did you send me something?”

He sighed, defeated. I hoped we could get somewhere now. Heavy sighs usually meant he was tired of licking his wounds and wanted me to lick them for him.

“I miss you,” He finally admitted. “I wanted you to know that I was sorry, and I want you to visit more. I’m sorry about Thanksgiving, Y/N.”

And I cried.

“I’m sorry, too,” I sobbed. “I shouldn’t have run out like that.”

I heard quiet cries from him now, and I huffed. My dad was such a sensitive person. He was one of those people who cried during movies and donated to animal shelters. The only time his horns showed was for me, and I always made sure ours locked. Now, though, neither one of us wanted to fight.

I sniffled, “I’ll come home, dad. Okay?”

He cried harder, “Please. I already have a ticket and everything. Just please come home.”

“I’ll be there.”

We spoke for a few minutes, mostly making sure that I was actually going to go home and me reassuring him that I would. He told me he had to get back to work and hung up. It was Saturday, and even if he had paperwork to do, my father never did anything outside of work hours. He just needed to calm himself down.

I wasted no time calling Wren. I had sucked up my mood enough to make it through the brief phone call. She was excited, more so than usual, and immediately agreed to having dinner at her house. After interrogating me about things that Namjoon would want, and me reassuring her that he would eat anything she made him, we hung up.

Me: Wren invited us to dinner at her house

Me: What time will you be finished today?

I had to wait a few minutes for a response, but it helped me catch my breath. I was upset at myself for caving so easily, but I really wanted to make up with him. I wanted things to work the best they could. Thinking about my dad now, I hoped I would get the chance to tell him about Namjoon when I got home. That would help the both of them feel better about me being far away, and my mother would be excited to tell her friends at Bingo. It was something she knew about, and other people would be able to talk with her about. I smiled at the mental image.

Joon: I’ll be finished up at 5 today. We can leave at 6 so I can shower and change

I frowned, thinking about the nice outfit from today. Why would he need to change? He looked yummy.

Me: But you look nice already

Joon: Not too dressed up?

I pursed my lips. Quickly texting Wren, I asked her what the dress code was. I was already underdressed for these things, but the thought of Namjoon in anything but that purple shirt was painful. He just looked too damn fine.

Wren: It’s always been dressy casual. You’re the only person who shows up in sweats. Why?

I laughed.

Me: Joon wanted to know

Wren: I like him more and more

Texting Namjoon back, he said he still wanted to shower and change, but he would keep that in mind. Pouting, I decided to kill time by taking a shower myself. I could figure out clothes once I was out. Putting the space heater on a higher heat, I hoped the room would be warm enough to keep my teeth from chattering when I got out.

I put on my shower speaker and started getting the water hot. I had been going through a nostalgia run recently, and had made an R&B playlist. My mom always listened to it when she cleaned the house. Keisha Cole started singing and I sang along as I got undressed. I lost track of time as I danced and sang happily, swaying my hips with my eyes closed.

“I might as well have cheated on you,” I sang loudly, finally turning the water off. “As much as you accused me of cheating.”

Taking the speaker with me, I wrapped my towel around my body and went into the main room. I went to my dresser and began digging through it to find something to wear. Knowing Namjoon would be there I wanted to put in more effort than normal. I refused to be that person in the relationship, especially if he was going to put in effort as well.

“I’m not scared of the lions, and tiger, and bears,” I sang along with Jazmine Sullivan. Fearless was my favorite album when I was in middle school. I scoffed at how naive I had been then. “I’m not scared to perform at a sold out affair, but I’m scared of loving you.”

My phone chimed.

Wren: Does he like seafood?

Me: That’s the only thing that’s iffy

Wren: Will it offend him?

I huffed.

Me: No

Me: He just won’t eat it but everyone else will

Wren: KK

She was stressed about this way too much. I put my phone on its charger and went back to looking for something to wear. I did not own too many dressy things. I wore business casual when I was teaching, and I owned plenty of boring lecture outfits, but I knew it was not what Wren had in mind. Going to the bottom drawer, I found a pair of loose, beige, linen pants. Trying them on, I was happy with how comfortable they were. Quickly matching it with a black turtleneck, I tucked the shirt in and adjusted it so it looked more cohesive. It was too icy outside for heels, so Wren would just have to be happy with my snow boots. We would not be wearing them inside anyway. With my outfit ready, I began doing my makeup and hair.

I was ready at 5:30, music still blasting while I took my time deciding on accessories. I was not going to wear them, but since I had time I thought a pair of earrings would be nice. I sang along to Destiny’s Child and danced around while I waited. I knew Namjoon would be able to hear me, but it only seemed to spur me. I wanted him to hear me. In fact, I wanted him to come over here and shut me up himself.

Surprised by my thoughts, I giggled nervously and dived on my bed to call Kendall. The sexual tension was really starting to make me lose my mind, and I knew she would be helpful. Wren would be too busy squealing and would have made the entire night about getting me laid. She was never the subtle type, either.

“Yo,” She answered, her voice echoing.

I was on speaker. Great.

“You alone?” I asked, listening for Namjoon.

His shower was still running.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Sighing, I almost lost my nerve. Things were going slow, insanely slow actually, but there was nothing wrong with it. Namjoon seemed happy and content, but I knew I wasn’t. I was hoping to move things along a bit more.

“How does one seduce their neighbor?” I asked, keeping my tone lighthearted.

Kendall laughed loudly and I giggled with her. This was something she expected from me by now. We always talked sex and romance with one another. Kendall was happy that I gave good advice about matters of the heart, and I was never disappointed with her sex tips.

“Well, yours is a freak,” She joked, “So, I think you have a bit of an advantage.”

“He’s barely touched me,” I admitted, biting my lip.

The water was still running.

“Really?” Kendall seemed surprised. “Does he think you’re a virgin?”

I choked on my own spit. I had never even considered that. Could he think that? Even if he didn’t think I was a virgin, he could think I was very inexperienced. He would not be completely wrong, I hated to admit, but it still felt embarrassing to think about. Trying not to rush to conclusions, I told Kendall we had never talked about that but I doubted he thought that.

“Does he know you want to have sex?” She asked this time.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I haven’t said yes or no. We’ve never even gotten in a position for that to come up.”

Kendall huffed and I knew she was rolling her eyes at me. She always looked at me like I was an idiot when we talked about this stuff. According to her, I was too timid and uncomfortable to get what I wanted. I needed to work on that. I just had no idea where to begin.

“The guy sounds like he operates like me,” She had a hard time not coming off as a bitch, but I knew it was just the tone of her voice more than anything. She was very blunt and to the point, which could be off putting, but I appreciated it. “He’s probably just waiting for you to figure out what you want before he jumps on you. Probably doesn’t want to scare you away.”

I sighed, “He’s always waiting for me to make moves. I just don’t know how to initiate some of this shit.”

“Then tell him that.”

The water was turned off.

“I have to go,” I said, keeping my voice down. “He’s out the shower and he’ll be able to hear me through the walls.”

Kendall chuckled, her voice much closer to the speaker now.

“See you later.”

Hanging up, I went back to the bathroom and began touching things up to kill time. The music still played but I was distracted. At 6 I turned everything off and slipped into my boots. I chose my black coat to wear for the ride over and went outside. Locking up, I leaned against the railings while I waited for Namjoon to come outside.

The snow had stopped falling, but I could make out patches of ice on the ground. I was glad I picked the practical shoes. I thought about Namjoon seeing me in heels and my stomach got warm. He seemed like the type who liked to keep them on. I shook my head and sighed. I needed to get a grip.

I thought again about what I might want tonight. We hadn’t even kissed yet, something that bothered me, and I knew Kendall’s words held some truth. I was the one holding everything back. I remembered how often Namjoon had sex before and frowned. He was insatiable. Was he just not that interested in me? Had he been more attracted to those women? Was he afraid of us getting too close? Maybe he thought I would be uncomfortable with his desires. Whatever the case, it was really starting to eat away at me.

“Have you been out here long?”

I jumped, quickly turning around. Eyes widening, I drank in Namjoon’s appearance with hungry eyes. He wore a similar pair of black trousers from earlier, but this time he was wearing a black shirt. I admired the heavy, brown plaid overcoat he wore and wondered if it was as warm as it looked. A pair of black leather gloves hugged his large hands tightly and I knew they were too tight. His eyes trained on my hands and a scowl was on his face. I had forgotten my gloves again.

“No,” I winced at how airy my voice was. “Just a couple minutes.”

Namjoon shook his head at me fondly, his hair slicked back and perfectly laid. It was new and I loved it. I could not tell if he was happy with how I looked, but I saw his eyes appraising me with fondness. Reaching into one of the pockets on his coat he handed me a black ball. I snorted.

“You got me gloves?” I playfully mocked, slipping them on.

He smiled, “My mom would be disappointed in me if you were cold.”

We started walking together, our bodies close enough to touch, and I revealed the warmth that radiated from his body. Namjoon reached for my hand. I leaned closer to him and cursed having to let him go. The stairs were too narrow for us to stay like this.

“Your mom sounds a lot like Jimin,” I commented as we descended.

Namjoon laughed.

“He’s a stickler about the cold, too?”

I nodded, “Worse. Wren can’t leave the house without at least 6 layers at this time of the year.”

The drive was pleasant. Namjoon talked about his classes and the new job he was hoping to get. It would be a Field Director position at a company here in Boston. I had high hopes even if he was nervous. He was worried about more experienced people applying, but I tried to reassure him that a Ph.D did not replace field experience- something that he had plenty of. He was not sold, but I had a feeling he would get to the second round of interviews.

“Where do I turn?” He asked.

I pointed left, making sure to point out the dark side street their house was on. You would miss it if you did not know it was there. Wren loved their hidden away cul-de-sac, and I knew Jimin was proud of their home. He had grown up in a rough part of town in a small, one-story house that was falling apart when they bought it. Now he lived in one of the nicest homes in their neighborhood. He was even able to pay for his parent’s home to be renovated.

“It’s the big brick house at the end of the street,” I mumbled.

Namjoon whistled, “Nice place.”

I nodded, “They worked hard for this house. Wren worked two jobs and Jimin’s book about myths was flying off the shelves around the time it was on the market. It wasn’t always this nice, but the private school pays him extremely well so they’ve been fixing it up for the last three years.”

“Damn,” He whispered. “They did a really nice job.”

I giggled, “Yoongi’s got all the connections.”

Kendall and Yoongi were already here, their cars parked out front on the curb. Hoseok’s Pris was in the driveway, and I pointed it out to Namjoon. I was hopeful about the night. I knew he would get along with everyone, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Hoseok would be the highlight. Jimin could wax poetry, and Yoongi would drink him under the table, but Hoseok was personable and funny. They reminded me of one another in a way.

Namjoon kept looking around, his eyes wide as he took in the nice houses around us. I smiled at him. He was very sweet.

“Wren’s family was a big help,” I conceded. “They’re very well off and gave them a good bit of the money for the down payment.”

This seemed to ease him. His family had a difficult time when they first moved to America, and his father had to go back to school even though he had been an engineer for ten years in Korea. Something like this would have been far too much for his little family, and I had to agree with them. I was happy for my friends, but I was still uncomfortable when I saw it for the first time. I had even likened it to a mansion.

“Y/N!” Wren called out from the front door.

She must have been looking out of the window for us. I smiled at her and waved. Taking Namjoon’s hand, I jogged to the front door. Wren pulled me into a tight hug and I chuckled at her excitement. She was practically bouncing. It was rare for me to bring a guy home.

“You look so cute,” She gushed, happy with my outfit.

She was on Namjoon quickly after.

“Hey Kim,” Her smile was splitting her face in half now, and I wondered if her cheeks hurt. “I’m so happy you came.”

Namjoon returned her hug. With a polite smile and reserved squeeze of her shoulder, he was trying to hide his uncomfortable shifting. He did not like being grabbed without permission- it was something we had spoken about during one of our first dates. He exhaled in relief once she walked away from him and back into the house. She had not stopped talking since she came outside.

Taking our shoes off, I brought Namjoon over to the spare slipper rack in the small entryway. He looked for ones that were close to his size, but I could not tell if he was having any luck. Jimin had small feet, but maybe one of the others had big enough feet to make up for it. Wren had bought Kendall and I our own pairs for the housewarming party so I had no trouble finding them. Namjoon seemed to find ones that would work and put them on.

“Jimin’s excited about having you over,” Wren was standing a few feet away still rambling. “He’s not able to talk with the other guys about his interests. You’re Heaven sent.”

I gave my friend a pointed look. She completely ignored me, flipping her ponytail in indignation, and continued to talk about how happy everyone was to see my date. Glancing at Namjoon I was happy to see he was relaxing a bit more. He was still tense, probably from the hug, and I wished to reach out to him. I was worried Wren would physically combust if I had.

“Come on,” She gestured overdramatically, already walking away. “Everyone’s in the kitchen.”

Namjoon stuck close to my side, his nervousness apparent to me. I doubted anyone else would be able to pick up on his too straight posture. Reaching out, I gently squeezed his arm and tried to reassure him with a smile. He grinned back at me, placing his hand over mine. Walking into the kitchen, I put a bit of distance between us to avoid Kendall and her side comments. Especially after the phone call from earlier.

The kitchen was loud and in full-swing. The entire room smelled incredible and I was excited for dinner later. Sniffing, I could pick out the distinct smell of roasting meat and licked my lips. Knowing Wren, it was probably a duck.

“Hey guys!” Jimin called out, eager. He was in an abnormally great mood this evening and quickly scooped me into a warm embrace. I hugged him back just as fiercely. Jimin was one of my good friends and I was hopeful he would get along with Namjoon. “It’s so good to see you.”

Stepping away from him, I took Namjoon’s hand in mine and pulled him closer. The two of them introduced themselves and shared a handshake. Namjoon did not pull his hand away from mine. Looking around, I waved to everyone else. They were all surrounding the large island in the middle of the room, large glasses of wine in their hands. Each of them were looking at Namjoon with intense interest and I shot them a glare.

“Come,” Jimin urged, “Make yourself comfortable. Wine?”

“That would be nice. Thank you,” Namjoon seemed to relax a bit at the warm welcome.

Kendall called me over, her patience ran out, and I looked back at Namjoon. He waved me off letting go of my hand. I nodded, completely unconvinced, and he smiled at me. As if to prove a point, he walked away from me first.

“What are we having?” He asked Jimin.

“Wren made duck with a few side dishes,” The teacher replied easily, already starting to introduce him to Yoongi and Hoseok.

I found my place with the girls and got caught up with their conversation. As always, I was subject to their gossiping, but I couldn’t help my giggles. Kendall leaned into me, her laughter joining my own. I had always heard the strangest stories from the two of them. My favorites were Kendall’s ER tales. My favorite was the time she had to escort a man from one hospital to another due to his medical condition. When she got there he was in the ceiling and she had to help the nurses get him down. I laughed harder thinking about it.

I felt the tension I had no idea I was carrying melt. Tonight was going to be fun. Looking over my shoulder, I found Namjoon already looking at me. He looked so soft in the warm lights, and I had the urge to go to him. I stopped myself when Jimin got his attention once more. They were talking about Percy Jackson, which brought a smile to my face. Yes, tonight would be just fine.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Namjoon shook Jimin’s hand. He was at ease now, not a single bit of tension in him at all. I could smell the wine Kendall had spilled hanging in the air. It had gotten in his lap, but he seemed unbothered. “I had a wonderful time and dinner was delicious.”

Wren was flushed from the alcohol, and her eyes shined with pleasure from the compliment. She was used to our praises but after stressing all day she was glad things worked out. She was practically bouncing when Namjoon asked for her bitter melon recipe. I gave both of them hugs. Words didn’t need to be said- they knew how I felt.

“You’re welcome anytime,” Wren replied.

“Think about tennis, okay?” Jimin reminded him, shaking his hand again.

Hoseok and Jimin went to tennis once a week, but the doctor was busier than normal nowadays since the other urologist on staff retired. With the influx of new patients he had little free-time. Namjoon seemed interested in joining the pair, and Jimin jumped at the opportunity to spend more time with my boyfriend. They hit it off more than I thought they would and even exchanged numbers.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free,” He assured Jimin.

After talking for a few minutes, we finally walked back to the car. Things had gone very well tonight. After the nervous introductions, Namjoon settled into the group easily. He and Jimin talked about mythology and ancient Greece, Hoseok was happy to have a fellow baseball fan around, and Yoongi was just glad he did not have to deal with Jimin’s “nerding” alone. After the strange story about the West Virginian woman, the girls and I stuck to more mundane topics. Jungkook was busy tonight and could not make it, so I got an earful about how disappointed Kendall was.

Blasting the heater, I could tell Namjoon was in a good mood. I was happy he had a nice time tonight. It was surprising how little I thought of him being there. Any other time I had brought a guy around I walked on pins and needles the entire night trying to hide as much of myself as possible. Smiling to myself, I let the feeling of rightness wash over me. I had finally found someone who liked me even with all of my niche interests. He actively indulged me as well, something completely foreign, and wanted to get to know the people I loved.

Glancing at him, I was blown away by how handsome he looked. Keeping my hands to myself had been the hardest part of the evening. Everytime I caught sight of him I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. Whenever we locked eyes I imagined myself pulling him somewhere quiet and taking what I wanted. Right now, I stared at his lips and wondered how they would feel.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” Namjoon suddenly said, eyes locked on the road. “I don’t remember if I told you that already.”

My smile widened, “Thank you regardless.”

He stole a look at me and grinned back. I shifted my body towards him and watched him openly now. I was going to kiss him tonight, I decided. If I was going to push my luck, I would be in his bed. The thought made me more anxious than I thought it would. Was I ready to have sex with him? Placing a large hand on my thigh, Namjoon stole another look at me and winked.

I would end up in his bed if it was the last thing I do.

The drive was quiet. My eyes were on him and his were on the road. The wine was catching up to me on the way out, but the cold air was sobering me up. Namjoon smelled of alcohol and cinnamon that made me dizzy.

The closer we got to the complex the more resolved I became. I wanted him so badly. Kendall had said he might be waiting for me, and knowing everything about him I was sure he was. He only gently guided me in the direction he wanted me to go, but never had he pushed through the invisible wall I had made. A wall I never really noticed.

Suddenly, I was upset about my choice of underwear. It was simple, white, and nothing to be excited about. I hoped he would be fine with that. I was not sure about the mystery women who stayed the night, but I could imagine they would go all out for the handsome man beside me. I on the other hand completely neglected to consider the possibilities. Filled with a sudden splash of doubt, I looked away from Namjoon.

“What’s the matter?” He asked gently.

I shook my head, “It’s dumb.”

“Nothing you ever say is dumb,” He argued, amused.

Should I talk to him about my fears? It was a hard conversation to have, but I was sure my nerves would make me back out of my plans. I wanted to have sex with him, at the very least a kiss, but I never thought about being insufficient. Would he like me? Would he still think I looked beautiful laid out on his bed with a pair of granny-panties on? Sighing in frustration, I decided to speak my mind. If Kendall was right about him waiting for me then maybe I should just tell him what I want.

“Why haven’t we moved forward with our relationship?” I asked.

Getting a gauge on his feelings might help me maneuver my own.

“I wasn’t sure how you felt,” He replied, voice even. In fact, he was talking like it was the easiest thing in the world. “I can be overwhelming and I wasn’t sure how to go about it with you. You’re very different from the women I usually meet.”

I nodded, “You were afraid of scaring me off?”

He chuckled. “You could say that. I mean, you know about that side of me more than I would like for you to.”

Face heating, I laughed in disbelief. He was so open about his feelings. It was strange to be with a man who treated me with enough respect to be honest. Namjoon and my father were polar opposites and it only made me happier. There was nothing to be ashamed about.

“And you think I don’t like that?”

Stealing a look at me, Namjoon nodded.

“I didn’t want to assume anything, but it’s hard to think about you in that setting.”

I laughed, “So sex with me is hard to think about?”

He grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. I smiled. I loved a playful Namjoon.

“Oh, no. That’s very, very easy.”

I hummed, “So, it’s the whips and chains then?”

“I think about it,” He said easily, turning down our street. “But I’m only into what you’re into.”

I laughed again. What were we talking about? We were almost to the parking lot now and I knew I would have to be very clear with him. He could think I’m joking, or maybe take this as a sign that we could do more but not tonight. No, I needed it tonight. I craved it. Thinking about him hovering over me and covering my body with his was mouth-watering.

“Well, I’m here,” I finally said, voice smaller than I would like. “If I didn’t like what you liked then I wouldn’t entertain this.”

Namjoon was quiet. Contemplative. I could tell by the quirk of his eyebrow that he was thinking of his next words carefully. I was done with the kid gloves. I wanted the cold, calculating predator from next door to make an appearance. As we parked, I changed my mind. We did not trust one another enough for that big of a leap. Maybe I could pay around with the nickname a bit? It seemed to rile him up.

“What are you asking me?” He asked, looking into my eyes.

I took a deep breath.

“I’m hungry,” I blurted out. I almost winced at how idiotic I sounded. Namjoon also seemed confused with my outburst, and I tried to fix it the best I could. “You have ramen at your place, right?”

From bewilderment to awe, it felt like a thousand different emotions crossed Namjoon’s face until it finally settled on amused. His eyes danced with laughter and I knew I had thrown him for a loop. I had never been bold like this but I wanted that to change. If he was waiting around for me then I would deliver.

“How far do you want to go?” He asked, his breathing picking up. “I need to keep myself in check.”

I giggled, opening my door.

“Let’s figure that out together.”

With a smirk, Namjoon opened his own door. I was giddy with excitement. It felt like prom night all over again, only this time instead of the Girl’s Bathroom I’d be in a man’s apartment. Rounding the car, I met Namjoon on his side and took his hand. The two of us were laughing and sneaking looks at each other as we walked through the parking lot.

“What kind of ramen do you like?” Namjoon asked, unable to keep the smile off his face.

I pretended to think, the stupid grin on my face making my cheeks hurt.

“What would you recommend?”

I could tell he was enjoying the little game we were playing. He had yet to touch anything but my hand, but I could tell he was excited. His fingers trembled slightly and he walked much faster than normal. Trying to keep up, I nearly slipped. Namjoon quickly reached out to steady me.

Arm around my waist, he paused. The smile never left his face and we both laughed at the clumsy fall. Apologizing for his eagerness, Namjoon slowly helped me back on my feet. Of course, we were on a slick piece of ice and had to carefully walk along it to avoid any further falls. Keeping me close, Namjoon and I awkwardly shuffled across the ice.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I breathed, planting my feet on the concrete again. “You would think I’d be used to the snow by now.”

He chuckled, not letting me go. “Chicago or New York, the snow is still shitty.”

I just looked at him. He was so beautiful in the moonlight. His hair pushed back and gelled into place, the subtle way his eyes squinted to see me better in the shadows, and how cold his fingers felt through my clothes. All of it made me want to fall to my knees at his feet. Namjoon was so perfect and I realized that I was falling in love with him.

It only took him two months to force his way into my heart, and I no longer felt the need to stop him. Whatever insecurities or self consciousness that had unknowingly held me back felt unimportant now as I stood in his arms. Even if he ran away screaming one day, or somehow found me to be the most unattractive woman on the planet after tonight, I would not change it for a second. Because right now he looked at me like nothing was more precious to him.

He was looking at me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

Without thinking, I cupped his face and brought it down to meet my own. Our lips met in a second motion, his arms wrapping around my waist and cocooning me into his chest while mine held his cheeks like glass. His nose brushed against my cheek, cold and soft, while his chapped lips molded roughly against my own. He tasted like wine and garlic, but I had never had anything better.

It was gentle, sweet, and hardly there, but I felt the kiss all the way down to my toes. Moving my hands, I wrapped them around his neck and he hissed. Drawing back from me, Namjoon gave me a knowing look. I realized then that I had forgotten to put on my gloves. I chuckled and looked down at the concrete. My head was still floating.

My lips tingle where he had been.

Taking my hands from his neck, Namjoon took them into his large hands and rubbed on the exposed skin. I relished in the warmth. I really needed to get better at taking care of myself. Placing two soft kisses on each of them, Namjoon let them go.

“Let’s get inside,” His voice was softer, more gentle than it had been before. His eyes no longer held the same fire and his hands did not tremble. I was worried he had seen something in me that I had not. Had he not felt the same things I had? “You need to warm up.”

We walked upstairs in companionable silence. I was worrying over the kiss now. It was so nice. I loved how small I felt with him wrapped around me, the way his body enveloped mine, and how gently he touched me. He had felt so safe and warm I never wanted it to end. The way he looked at me…

There was nothing to worry about, I reminded myself. This was Namjoon. He enjoyed my company and listened when I talked. He built miniatures in my apartment and paid for my shitty street tacos. He had not brought anybody around since he made his promise. That had to count for something.

I would not let my insecurities ruin this for me.

Reaching our floor, he took my hand once again and walked us to his apartment. I did not even look at my door when we passed it. I would pretend it never existed for tonight. Hopefully, if all went well, I could come back here more often.

Namjoon’s apartment was a mirror opposite of my own apartment. His bed was tucked into the same corner as mine, but instead of a small end table, there was a bookshelf beside his. A futon was near the front door with a few plants to decorate the living area. I admired the flatscreen on the wall and was pleased to find framed photos on either side. I would try to take a look at those another time.

The kitchen was just as boring as mine with the only exception being a toaster and a coffee pot on top of a small buffet table. I could smell a hint of the grinds in the room but other than that it was mostly art on the walls and shelves with some collectables above the futon. It looked far more lived-in than my place did. I refused to personalize anything until I bought my own house.

“I like it,” I said, taking my coat off and throwing it on the futon beside Namjoon’s. “Especially those Sailor Moon figurines.”

He laughed, “It was my sister’s favorite and I started watching it with her.”

“Are you a Sailor Jupiter or Sailor Venus, guy?” I joked.

Namjoon began taking off his watch. I admired how wide his shoulders were in his button-down. His legs looked so nice in those jeans that I found it difficult to keep my hands to myself. I was going to give him a moment to himself before completely throwing dignity out of the window. He was getting comfortable. I joined him and removed my shoes. I hadn’t gone further than the door.

“Neither,” He shrugged, throwing me a glance over his shoulder. “I’ve always had a thing for Pluto.”

Eyeing the figures, I saw Sailor Pluto, Mars, and, to my surprise, Chibi Moon also there. Her bubble gum pink hair stands out like a sore thumb in the otherwise neutrally colored house. I had never pegged him for an anime guy, let alone Sailor Moon, but I liked it. He felt comfortable enough with me to talk about it. I doubted any of the others took any notice of the small figures on the walls. I doubted he would have told them the backstory.

“You look nervous.”

Turning toward his voice, I shook my head at Namjoon’s words. He seemed completely unconvinced, but made no other comment. His eyes watched my every move and I again noticed I was still standing at the door. Taking a deep breath, I took a few steps into the apartment. He seemed amused but worried. I tried to stomp down on my nerves but they came back with a vengeance. This was becoming a bit overwhelming and the pressure to initiate was too much weight on my shoulders. I had no idea where to begin.

I had said I wouldn’t let my insecurities ruin anything, and yet here I was.

“Talk to me, 203.”

I sighed, “I just feel…overwhelmed.”

Namjoon was at my side quickly, but made no move to touch me again. I appreciate the bit of space. It was refreshing- especially after Taehyung grabbed me. I shook my head at the thought, upset that it had even made its way into this space. This was just us right now and that loser was not going to ruin it for me.

“What’s overwhelming?”

I avoided eye contact while I spoke. It made it easier for the words to come out.

“I don’t know how to take the next step,” I admitted. “I’m feeling a lot right now, and all of it is about you, and I’m scared I’ll ruin something. I always ruin my relationships and I don’t want this to stop. I like you too much.”

Instead of laughing Namjoon asked me if we could sit and talk this out. Going to the futon, the small couch gave us little room from one another. Knees touching, I fidgeted with my hands and waited for him to say something.

“Look at me,” He said, gently bringing my face to meet his own. “Don’t think like that, okay? There’s nothing you could do right now that would ruin this.”

“But-”

“There are no ‘buts,’” He shot down my argument before it had even begun. “Whatever happened before this can’t change, but I know you. Whoever the fuck made you think you ruined something is an idiot, okay?”

I nodded, still not fully believing him. I would laugh about this tomorrow when the fears were pushed aside to see reason. All night I was reminding myself that he liked me, that he wanted me, and that all these thoughts were pointless. Still I had let them ruin the night. I wanted to punch myself in the face.

“Y/N,” Namjoon called to me. I looked up again. I hadn’t even noticed I looked away. “We don’t have to do anything. We can just sit here and watch a movie or something. Whatever you want.”

I shook my head, “It’s not about not wanting to. I’m just a bit nervous about being the person to initiate.”

He frowned, “And that’s all this is? You really look shaken up, 203.”

I smiled despite myself. My dad was right, I really was a drama queen. I nodded, placing my hands over his.

“The last guy I slept with made me do all the work and then told his friends I was the worst lay he ever had,” I slipped my eyes closed. I did not want to see his face right now. The memory was far too embarrassing and I could hear the way they all laughed at me. “I’m just afraid of fucking up again.”

A light tap on my cheek made me open my eyes.

Namjoon looked so devastated. I wasn't sure if I hated the way people laughed when I told them about it or just how upset he was. You would have thought he had told me that had happened to him with how much his eyebrows wrinkled. Overcome with the need to minimize the experience, I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off with a kiss.

As if a switch was flipped, he was suddenly all over me. His hands held my face to his while he got impossibly closer. Body pressed up against mine, I shuttered when his hands ran down my neck. His calluses were rough and tugged on my skin. A soft moan escaped my lips at the feeling and Namjoon pulled away.

“Tell me when you want something to stop,” He rasped.

I nodded, already going back in for more. I have no idea how long we were on that futon, it could have been minutes, hours, even days. I was drunk in his presence and feeling him on my body was like heaven. His hands traveled from my neck to my chest. He hesitated for a second before finally cupping my breasts.

With another burst, Namjoon moved his hands to my waist and laid me down as best as he could on the tiny piece of furniture. I hoped we would move to his bed soon but was afraid of speaking. I wasn’t sure how my voice would sound and I was happy with the way things were going.

Stradling one of my legs, Namjoon was over me again. His lips were searing against my skin and I could not stop the soft sounds that came from my mouth. With every kiss and lick on my body, my panties got wetter and wetter. His hands ran up my body and were back on my boobs and started to gently knead them. I squeezed my eyes shut and whined.

“You’re so pretty,” Namjoon whispered, nipping at my neck.

My breathing was heavy now and I raised my heads and buried them into his hair. Namjoon groaned into my throat before finally detaching himself from my neck. He smiled at me, all teeth and dimples, and I wasn’t able to stop myself from smiling back. He looked so young like this. His lips were swollen and red alongside his flushed cheeks. Sitting up, Namjoon looked towards his bed before coming back to me. I grinned and nodded.

In a flash, he was lifting me off of the sofa. I giggled, grabbing onto him and wrapping my legs around his waist. His hands held onto my thighs as he stood up with me in his arms. Walking across the room, we were both laughing. I realized my nerves were gone now.

Throwing me on the bed, I yelled in surprise but Namjoon was back over me before I even hit the mattress. With new found confidence, I ran my hand over his chest. He paused, lifted himself up slightly, and allowed my hand to explore. He was hard against my hand. I knew he liked to go biking and hiking, and even went to the gym three times a week, but I was still taken aback by how solid he felt underneath my hands. It was a crime it had taken me this long to reach out and touch him like this.

Without much thought, I unbuttoned the top button on his dress shirt. He sucked in a deep breath. Snapping my eyes up to meet his own, a thrill shot down my spine. He looked starved. Keeping my eyes on his, I unbuttoned the next one. I got five more undone before he grew tired of waiting. Ripping the shirt over his head, my mouth went dry.

He was gorgeous. Tanned skin and hard muscles flexed with his every movement. He did not have defined abs, something I had not expected, but his stomach was toned and chiseled. Soft curves and lines had me dazed and I reached out to touch them. His stomach tightened under my hands and I grinned. He was so pretty.

“Can I take your shirt off?” He asked, voice deeper than I had ever heard it before.

Not saying anything, I lifted my arms and waited. His fingers grazed my ribs as he took the turtleneck off. I shivered once the cool air hit my skin and wondered if he noticed how cold his apartment was. I hissed once my arms were free and laughed when the neck got stuck around my head. Helping him get it the rest of the way off, I instinctively covered my chest.

“Let me turn the heater on,” He mumbled, eyes glued to my exposed skin.

He acted like peeling himself from my body had physically pained him. Walking across the room, he went to a space heater I had not noticed earlier. It was tall and spun from side-to-side as it blew the warm air around the room. I sat up and smoothed my hair down. Namjoon looked at me and his eyes immediately dropped to my bra.

In an act of boldness, I decided to peel my pants off myself. Watching the linen go down my legs, Namjoon unbuckled his belt and let it clang to the floor. I was almost disappointed knowing it would not be joining us tonight.

I had never even been spanked in bed let alone dived into impact play.

He crossed the room quickly and dragged me further up the bed. My head was on the mass of pillows he kept while he drank in my body. I knew my underwear was too plain and normal for something like tonight, and I apologized before I could stop myself.

“Sorry for what?” He asked, his voice so soft and gentle. “God, you’re so hot.”

Heat pooled to my stomach and I almost groaned in embarrassment. There had to be a wet spot on my panties now and he would more than likely be able to see it. Reaching up, Namjoon laid his hand on my cheek.

“Still doing okay?”

I sighed, “Just feeling insecure.”

“Talk to me about it.”

Trailing little kisses on my chest, he waited. Somehow, I knew he was listening to me even if he was occupied with getting into my pants. I arched my back slightly and gave him more access to my skin.

“I’m worried about my underwear,” I gasped. “And if you think I’m a virgin or something.”

He chuckled darkly. “Why would I think that?”

I placed my hands on his shoulders to ground myself. He was sucking on the spot just behind my ear and I had to bite my lip to stop the wanton sounds from coming out. I just noticed how violently my legs were shaking.

“Because I’m so nervous,” I managed.

“So am I,” He whispered in my ear. “And you look nice in white.”

He bit my ear lobe and pulled it down. I couldn’t stop the moan this time. I felt his dick twitch against my stomach. Trying to force myself to relax again, I ran my hands down his back. He was so soft and smelled heavenly. He placed a hand on my right bra strap.

“Want to keep going?”

I reminded myself once again about how vulnerable he was being with me tonight. He was being gentle for my benefit- not his. He was checking in because he wanted me to feel good, too. He had told me months ago the only things he fucked were the things he liked. I hoped he liked me more than all of the rest. Taking another deep breath, I nodded.

“Baby,” His voice was back to the seductive tone it had been before, making my pussy flutter. He had never called me that before. “You’re shaking.”

I whined openly now, his fingers hooking underneath the straps and pulling them down my shoulders. Reaching behind me, he unhooked the unflattered piece of white fabric and pulled it down my arms. Bare chested and cold, I trembled. I wanted him to touch me.

His hands were on my boobs and I bucked my hips when his thumb brushed over my nipple. He hissed, angled his hips against my own, before playing with the buds freely. I grinded against him, whining in pleasure.

He rotated between pinching them and rolling them, but with each flick and burst of pain I moved against him. He was so hard on me and I wished he would take his pants off so I could feel him properly.

Leaning down, he took a nipple into his mouth while playing with the other. I cursed, arching further into him and whined. My pussy gushed and my panties were sticking to my folds now. He removed one of his hands from my chest and switched sides. His right hand traveled down my stomach and into my underwear.

My legs tensed in anticipation. I was so turned on and I wanted him everywhere all at once. His fingers found my clit quickly and Namjoon groaned into my skin.

“You’re so wet,” He bit my boob.

Sitting up, he watched his hand playing with my pussy through my underwear. I closed my eyes and got lost in the pleasure. I felt one of his fingers circling my entrance and sobbed. It slipped in with no resistance and I swore I heard Namjoon moan along with me.

It was careful at first, prodding and exploring my walls until it found the spongy spot that made my toes curl. He whispered sweet nothings into the air around us, but I could barely hear him. He was far away now and all I could feel was the shocks of electricity that ran through my body.

My mouth hung open and I could hear the moans and groans escaping me. I was too gone to care about how desperate I sounded or the fact that our neighbors could hear. The irony almost brought me out of my paradise. No wonder those women screamed at the top of their lungs.

When he added another finger, I screamed. My face was wet but I had no idea if it was sweat or tears. I couldn’t think of anything anymore. My stomach twisted and tightened and I heard my shouts getting louder and louder.

“That’s it baby,” Namjoon groaned, keeping up the pace. “I got you. Cum all over me.”

The dam inside of me broke then and a waterfall gushed all over his fingers. My panties were soiled and damp, my cum sticky and white. Chest heaving, I opened my eyes and looked at Namjoon.

He was already unbuttoning his pants with his free hand. I started to pull my panties down and he removed his hand. With his pants off, he made a move to put his fingers back against my sopping cunt, but I grabbed his wrist. I needed so much more.

“Please,” I cried. “Please. Want you, I want you so bad.”

His eyes dilated and I could almost see the way he held back the animal inside of him. He was trying to be soft. I hooked a leg around his waist and lifted my hips to meet him. He was big and so painfully hard I almost felt bad. I rubbed against him once, then twice, before he shoved me away.

“Daddy.”

I didn’t realize the word was out of my mouth until his eyes snapped. Whatever had been keeping him at bay, whatever he had been telling himself about me, was gone. Black eyes devoured me and I licked my lips in anticipation.

“What?” His voice was cold and hard.

I was so embarrassed, but still did not care to stop this train. I wanted him so badly, needed to feel him all over me, and I was sure he would give me everything I could ever want and more with a single word. This time I was far more hesitant when I said it, the strange wave of desperation gone.

“I want you,” I swallowed hard, looking him in the eye. “Daddy, please.”

“Tell me if I’m too much,” He said, his last shred of chivalry gone.

Pulling his boxers down, I sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was swollen, his tip dark, foreskin pulled back by his hand, and fat with precum oozing from his slit. Thick and long, Namjoon’s cock was so perfect and pretty it was hard to believe it was real.

“Hand me a condom,” He whispered, “They’re in the wooden box next to the lamp.”

Reaching over, the box was on top of the bookshelf. Taking one of the condoms, I ripped it open with my teeth and took it out myself. I barely thought about it when I reached out towards him. When I grabbed his dick, Namjoon threw his head back and cursed. It took less than a minute to slide it on and lay back down.

“You’re a fucking slut, aren’t you?” His voice was light and airy.

The degradation caught me off guard, giving me pause, but his hands were already grabbing ahold of my legs roughly. Bending them back on my chest, Namjoon held them in place with his forearm while he reached down to line up with my entrance. I shuttered and tried to push up into him. His arm held me down and pushed into my skin even more.

“Look at you,” He mocked. “Grinding against my dick like the little whore you are.”

He pushed into me and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. He was so big and I felt the stretch instantly. The burning was mild and despite the crude way he spoke to me, he took his time and massaged my thighs. With his arm off my legs, I lifted my hips and took him in deeper. He growled.

“Fucking filthy,” He slapped my thigh, the sting making me moan, and suck in deeper. “You’re so fucking tight, princess.”

I moaned, hooking my legs around his waist and pushing him into me while I lifted my hips. I was so full and the slight curve he had brushed against my g-spot at this angle. My mind was swimming and words felt heavy on my tongue.

“Right there,” I slurred. “Fuck, right there.”

He pulled out and pushed back in. I cried out, my body shaking and trembling underneath him. He held my legs in place before fucking into me. I played with my nipples and grinded down into him to keep the pace.

“God,” He groaned. “You feel so fucking good. Holy shit.”

Lifting one of my legs, Namjoon placed it on his shoulder and angled his hips. Now, he hit the spot anytime he moved inside of me. Screaming, I let my hand travel down to my clit and began to rub circles on the swollen bud.

“That’s it, baby,” He cooed. “Cum around my cock. Fuck.”

Gritting my teeth, I wailed. Hot pressure built up in my stomach again and I knew it didn’t stand a chance. I removed my hand from my clit and the pressure went down. I wanted to wait for him.

A hard slap against my thigh made me open my eyes. Namjoon was covered in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead, and his mouth was agape. With a heated glare, he dropped my leg. I brought them both up to my chest and screamed. He felt so good, too good, and I felt the bubble building up again.

Namjoon’s thumb found my clit and I thrashed. His other arm held my legs down against my chest. Pounding into me, I was crying now and thought I would die if I came again. Nothing had ever felt like this before.

“I’m so close,” He rasped, staring at the way our bodies connected.

“Fuck,” I whined, shaking.

I came again, long and hard, while my body convulsed and twitched. I was exhausted but I knew Namjoon hadn’t finished yet. Keeping my eyes open, I squeezed down on his cock and waited. The pleasure had made me dumb and words failed me. Nothing made sense anymore, and I wanted to sleep. Moaning despite the oversensitivity, I held on for dear life as Namjoon emptied into the condom.

My legs were sore and stiff, the blood rushing through them causing pins and needles to shoot down them. Namjoon rubbed them and slowly placed them on either side of his body. Slowly, he pulled out and I winced. I was going to feel this in the morning. Taking the condom off, he tied it and went to the kitchen to throw it away.

“Don’t move,” He said. “I’m going to get a towel to wipe you off.”

I was fighting to keep my eyes open so I just let him clean me up. I was far too tired to fight him about it and I thought it was pointless regardless. If he wanted to take care of me then I would let him.

He was back a few moments later and wiped my body off with care. He asked if I could get up so he could change the sheets, and I was able to force my body off the bed. There was a huge puddle where I had been, so I was grateful he was thinking of my hygiene when all I wanted to go was sleep.

“Do you want me to go?” I asked, yawning.

“No,” He replied. “Do you want to leave?”

“No.”

He quickly changed the sheets and got a new blanket for us. I still didn’t get back into bed just yet. Awake enough to pick up my panties, I wrinkled my nose at the thought of putting them back on. I hated going commando.

“Want to go get a new pair?” Namjoon asked, noticing my predicament.

I frowned, “It’s fine. I’ll be good with a shirt.”

He threw a plain white tee onto the bed.

“Thanks.”

I was expecting to feel more awkward than I did. The sex was good, great even, and the silence in the room wasn’t scary. I knew Namjoon was thinking and I was happy to let him. I needed a moment to get myself together.

Where did we go from here? I was already being called his girlfriend, we were obviously crazy about one another, and I knew I was getting deeply involved with him now. I could love him and that alone was enough for me to want things to work out. Knowing that I would love him one day was a comfort.

Crawling into bed, I was upset that my teeth were unbrushed, but sharing toothbrushes was far away. I would scrub them really well in the morning and be fine with that. I had never been more excited for a Saturday before. Namjoon was beside me after turning off the lights.

Darkness surrounded us as he came closer to my body. These were moments I rarely experienced. Cuddling and loving touches after sex were a rarity in the past and something I had always craved. Settling in his arms, I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. His heartbeat was steady and loud against my ear.

“Are you going home for Christmas?” Namjoon suddenly asked.

I knew he had been thinking hard about something.

“I am,” I sighed. “Hopefully it’ll be a good year this time.”

“What makes you say that?”

Namjoon was somewhat aware of the strained relationship I had with my parents. We had talked about my weird Thanksgiving break and the even weirder holidays before that. He always said my parents would come around, but I knew he would never understand just how wishy-washy they were. His family was a constant support in his life.

“My dad’s getting weirder and weirder,” I answered. “It used to be my mom and I bumping heads constantly, but after I moved out we got better. Dad and I got worse. I don’t know what he wants from me.”

Rubbing random patterns on my back, Namjoon got quiet again. Taking that as my cue to become a bit more open, I decided to keep talking.

“He hates what I do. He was hoping I’d be in Chicago for my entire life, become a school teacher or something simple, and get married. Harvard was a dream, and he thought I’d get into law like him when the letter came in, but after I said geology everything just got weird. He never got along with my grandpa and thought he had brain washed me or something. I don’t even know anymore it’s all so convoluted.”

“But things were already weird before then.”

I nodded, “He didn’t like me speaking my mind or having an opinion that he didn’t agree with. We’re far too alike and argue constantly.”

“And your mom?”

I sighed. That was the worst part of everything. I loved them both so much, but neither one of them loved me enough to just be happy for me. They wanted this fantasy they had to play out in their head. Mom would choose dad any day of the week if it meant she stayed comfortable. Dad would pick mom because she never pushed him too far and let him get his way.

“She just wanted me to keep the family together.”

“Why are you going home then?” He asked. “Why even let them ruin your holiday?”

“He said-”

“Everything I’ve heard about the guy tells me that’s bullshit.”

I was shocked he interrupted me. He must have been thinking long and hard about this sort of conversation. I closed my mouth and listened to what he had to say. It had been a long time since someone agreed with my feelings.

“Even if he said he wouldn’t fight with you, even if he apologized, every time you go home he just treats you poorly. You’ve missed multiple holidays with your family because of his temper tantrums and were miserable in Chicago. Why go?”

I thought about his question. Why was I going? Because he said he was sorry? He apologized every year and still managed to make everything about him. How I wrong him. How I was the one destroying our family. How I left him alone. I had said I was going, I had the ticket and flight information, but did I really want to go home? I had more fun in my apartment alone then dealing with the scream matches over nothing.

“He cried,” I replied.

“To guilt trip you. He cried to make you feel bad about him disrespecting you and degrading you. He barely even apologized.”

Namjoon was right, but what else could I do? Call home and tell them I changed my mind? Get blamed for their failing marriage again? That did not sound nice either. I could say it was work but that would add credibility to their arguments. Mom would be so disappointed.

“Why are you asking me about Christmas?”

“I want you to come home with me.”

It brought a smile to my face even if I did feel a bit uncomfortable with him saying all of that to convince me to cancel my travel plans. Was it just to make me go with him? That was something my dad would do. I took a few deep breaths and thought about Namjoon and his character. No, he would not do that. He was just talking with me about my parents and wanted to see if I would rather spend my holidays with him.

“Would your family be okay with that?” I asked.

“Most definitely,” I could hear the smile in his voice. “My parents would really like you and my sister is going to be excited for another STEM girl in the house. We will have to sleep separately, though. My parents are old school.”

I laughed. From what he tells me, their home is very small and I would be asleep on the living room floor. Still, I felt much better about this trip than visiting home. It was sad that meeting my boyfriend’s family gave me less anxiety than going home.

“I’d like to come,” I yawned. “I’ll figure out my parents later.”

He kissed the top of my head.

“Night, 203.”

I grinned, “Night, 201.”

Four Months Later

Staring at the screen, I reread the email for the fourth time.

From: [email protected] To: Y/L/N.Y/[email protected] Date: March 23, 2023 Subject: Next Steps

Y/N,

Thank you so much for taking the time to interview with us for the Invertebrate Researcher position here at AMNH. I have some GREAT news to share! Our team enjoyed getting to know you and we’d like to move to the next stage of our hiring process. Could you provide me with two references of yours, preferably a former manager or colleague? If you could fill out the below information as soon as possible, that would be greatly appreciated!

Reference #1: Title: Phone Number: Email:

Reference #2: Title: Phone Number: Email:

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions moving forward and I would be happy to help. Looking forward to hearing from you to continue this exciting process!

- Tanya Lopez Talent Acquisition Specialist Human Resources American Museum of Natural History C: (212) 555-5555 Pronouns (she/her) -

I picked up my phone and called Wren. Namjoon was in class right now and telling him would have to wait. She picked up on the third ring, her excitement and joy already making me smile. I had text her when I saw the email notification.

“So?” She demanded. “What did she say?”

Wren had been the most nervous for me. This position was a huge deal and would be a game changer for my resume. Namjoon and Kendall were both convinced I had the job before I even applied, and Jungkook said he’d be there for me if it didn’t work out. He was trying to ease up on the drinking after Kendall gave him a bit of an intervention. I was happy he sounded more like himself the last time we spoke.

“You’re talking to their newest researcher.”

“Ah!” She screamed, yelling to Jimin about the new job. “I’m so excited! This is huge! New York, babes!”

I laughed, “I know right? God, Joon is going to flip.”

“How are you feeling about long distance?”

In typical Wren fashion, she had been the one person who leaned into my fears when I first talked about the job. Where Jungkook said we would make it as long as we made the effort, Wren was worried that we would break up as soon as I got the job. After many conversations with Namjoon, though, I felt much better about the whole thing. Like he said, Boston was only a 4 hour drive from New York and I would be staying out of New Rochelle which would ease the drive up a bit. Not by much but he could avoid the brunt of most of the NYC traffic.

“They’ll be fine, Jagi,” I heard Jimin in the background. “Stop worrying so much.”

“I’m the best friend,” She snapped back, defensive and hurt. “It’s my job to worry, Jimin.”

“Hey now,” I scolded. “Leave my best friend-in-law alone.”

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Wren whined, completely ignoring us both.

Now we are on to phase 2: denial. I shook my head and listened as she whined about how far away I would be. I reminded her it was a four hour car ride, but she reminded me that we had never lived more than twenty minutes away from each other since we’d met.

“But think about it Wren,” I soothed, going for the only thing I had left. “Day shopping in New York City, grabbing some pizza at a jazz club late at night, and all of those fancy furniture stores.”

I would apologize to Jimin later. Wren had a horrible habit of throwing out brand new furniture and buying all new shit once a year. Sometimes twice. I was lucky to get a few new pieces for my apartment years ago, but I could just imagine her going to every Pottery Barn in the city to find something to replace. She had been talking about how boring her dining table was.

“Oh! We could give you some things for your new place and go shopping for ours.”

I winced. I would need to make that apology sooner rather than later. My phone buzzed and I saw an incoming call from Namjoon.

“Boyfriend’s calling. Go to go.”

“Laters.”

Hanging up with Wren, I answered Namjoon’s call.

“Hello Ms.Newly Employed.”

I rolled my eyes, “You don’t even know if I got the job.”

“Did you?” I had sent him the same text as Wren.

“Yes.”

“My mom’s going to be so happy for you.”

Christmas had been very nice. Of course, my parents were as angry as I expected them to be. That phone call made me realize no matter what I did they would be upset. I had even tried to explain to them that I was seeing someone, and it had fallen on deaf ears in the face of their wants. I felt bad for a few days until Namjoon reminded me that was what my dad wanted. I stopped thinking about it after that and hadn’t heard much since. No random gifts or late night phone calls. Complete radio silence.

Namjoon’s family really was every bit as warm and inviting as I imagined them to be. His mother was so happy to meet me and his father was happy to talk about my career. I slept on a cot in the living room for the first two days until his mother decided she liked me too much and allowed us in the same room. She had made a few jokes about grandkids, but I wasn’t sure just how joking they were.

His sister showed up the following week and it was a dream. Her mind was so bright and expressive, and I adored the young girl not even an hour after meeting her. It was the first holiday in years that I was able to relax with a cup of cocoa and not worry when I would be kicked out. I promised them to come back for Spring Break.

“I’ll be sad I can’t see you everyday.”

He laughed, “I’ll be down there every weekend and you’ll visit when you can.”

I smiled, “I know but that doesn’t change anything. At least I know your schedule already.”

The Project Manager position was a bust, but he took it in stride. He thought about joining the research team at Harvard, but I saw him looking at an adjudicate position at NYU for next fall. I hoped we would last that long, and that he thought about the decision before jumping the gun. He always did but I knew what emotions could do to someone’s judgment. Either way, I would be happy for him.

“I’m going to write this woman back,” I said, already composing my reply. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“How about going to Harvest to celebrate.”

I laughed out loud.

“Babe, we can’t afford Harvest.”

“Now, now,” His voice went up an octave. “I am willing to take out a small loan to wine and dine you.”

“My hero,” I mocked. He snorted. “We can hit up Santouka’s if you want to eat in Harvard Square.”

“I’m always happy to get ramen.”

After finalizing our plans and hoping we could rope in a few friends to go out with, we hung up. I was happy with the way things were going and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. I was sad to be so far away but I had to have faith it would all work out. Even if it meant long drives and days lost, I knew Namjoon was worth every second of it.

From: Y/L/N.Y/[email protected] To: [email protected] Date: March 23, 2023 Subject: RE: Next Steps

Good afternoon Ms.Lopez,

I am so happy to hear that! Working with AMNH is a dream come true and I am so honored to have the opportunity. Below I have given you both of the references you have asked for as well as two additional. I want to be sure you get the references you need and Dr.Lupon can be tricky to get in touch with by phone. Thank you again and I appreciate all of your help during this process.

Dr. Abigail Lupon, Ph.D. (617) 444-444 [email protected]

Morgan Dawson Ph.D Candidate (206) 777-7777 [email protected]

Dr. Christopher Jonas, Ph.D. (406) 222-2222 [email protected]

Dr. Alistair Moody, Ph.D. (617) 333-3333 [email protected]

Let me know if you need anything else and I look forward to working with you in the near future.

- Y/N Y/L/N Ph.D. Candidate in Paleontology Harvard University | Department of Earth and Planetary Sciences Mobile: (773) 999-9999 | Email: Y/N.Y/L/[email protected] Pronouns: She/Her/Hers -

It was impossible to believe I was leaving this place. These would be my last two months in my shit hole apartment, my last two months cleaning off bones in the lab, and my last two months living next door to my boyfriend. It was bittersweet but I knew I was making the right choice. Every decision I had made was leading to this moment.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my grandpa would be proud of me.

Two months later

This was it. Two names away from my own, I waited with bated breath for the Dean to call out my name for the third and final time. Beside me, Dr.Lupon smiled happily. She was more excited for my commencement than I was.

“Almost,” She mouthed to me and took a few steps back.

I was sitting on an end seat and would need to exit on that side. I knew she was supposed to be further towards the front but had switched with Dr.Jonas earlier this evening for “moral support.” We had gone through this multiple times and yet she still insisted on chaperoning me everywhere. It was as endearing as it was embarrassing. Somewhere behind me a large group of my friends were waiting to scream as soon as I stood up.

Then, it happened. All twelve years I had been at Harvard were flooding through my mind as I stood. My first day, living in the dorms and loathing my roommate, and the first time I had ever stepped inside of the museum. I recalled the first time I met Dr.Lupon and the whirlwind she had become in my otherwise dull life. Late night dinner with Jungkook, the first time I saw Wren, and all of the beautiful moments that led up to seeing Jimin at a P.C. frat party.

I remember when Kendall’s hair touched her chin and she was fresh faced. Before the ambulances and dead bodies, Kendall had been so excited to contribute to the world. Heartbreak after heartbreak and wasted tears on men who never deserved my time. Taehyung came to mind and I almost laughed. God, that guy was such a loser.

I had found out a few weeks after we bumped into one another in the parking lot the reason he had been so weird. His friend, Seokjin, had come by to get some stuff for his dog and spilled the beans. Apparently, Taehyung had only asked me out because he thought I would be an easy fuck. Jin told him to leave me alone since I worked at the only pet store open so late, but the idiot really went for it. His pride was hurt when it didn't work, and he was convinced I was simply playing hard to get. He stopped stalking me after Namjoon cornered the two of them at the gym the next morning. It would seem that Taehyung's bark was much bigger than his bite.

Taking my diploma from the Dean, I smiled blindingly at him and shook his head with as much force as I could. Today was perfect. Today was not the end of my story, but the beginning. Coming back to the present, I giggled as Namjoon’s loud cheers reached my ears. I swore I heard Jimin and Wren singing 'We Are The Champions,' but I would have to ask to make sure.

Harvard would forever be a part of my life, memories far too precious to forget, but I was ready to move on. Looking at the photographer across the way, I quickly posed with my diploma and went back to my seat. Stealing a look behind me, I found Namjoon and his family standing in a large group, our friends all waving and blowing kisses our way. A small ache settled in my heart that my own parents had not come, but I could not let it ruin this. I had spent 12 years at Harvard, all of them beautiful, but now it was time for me to move on. Today was only the beginning.

Taglist: @swoozleee @jub-jub @callmenoona25 @coolchick23 @saweetspoiled

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taehoneys · 8 months

Text

BAD GUY | EIGHT

+ Jungkook and you both have a secret that could end your relationship.

— Summary: A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

— Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

— Genre: Drama

— AU(s): College!AU Fratboy!AU

— Warnings: Fingering, Oral, choking, all kinds of sex, okay? Oh, and sometimes it’s unprotected. Breeding kink (?)

— Chapter Word Count: 4K

— Chapter Note: I am updating this with one eye open, and burning up with a lack-of-sleep fever. I wasn't going to let you guys down anymore!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

How many times have Jungkook and you crossed paths, unknown to you both?

Once?

On the first day of class, when you two were figuring out the campus layout. Both too busy looking down at your phones to apologize when you bumped shoulders.

Twice?

When you boarded the city bus after class and sat across from him. It was a 15-minute ride into the city. Jungkook entertained himself by watching you play with your loose-knit sweater holes.

Thrice?

At midnight, when the donut shop in the student atrium was the only thing open. Jungkook, Taehyung, Zelo, and Hoseok were crowding by the register, too busy laughing about who knows what. You and Juli brushed past, donuts and 5 lectures of statistics crammed into your mind.

Jungkook would argue that you didn't go completely unnoticed that time. And every time after that, you had his full attention. From when you slipped into his lab to make up for the one you missed in yours, scouted the fraternities, to when you sat in his economics class.

He didn't plan for banter between you two, but it made each boring class fly by. There was only one time he was seriously annoyed. The infamous time he threw the invitation your way. In truth, he had failed his calculus exam a class before (everyone actually failed), and he was too stressed to pay attention during the lecture.

You implied that his sex was all he had to offer. As if that's all he was capable of? He, after all, attends on a scholarship. A scholarship he earned for achieving a 4.0 GPA and being STEM club president in high school. The only thing that made the corner of his mouth lift a little was that you obviously thought a lot about how much sex he was having. Did it bother you?

It had to a little, right? That's why you stepped foot into the frat house with his invitation in hand. Because you were curious. You were trying to get something on him again (except he had no idea how serious you were about this). So he made sure he kept an eye on you. Though things got harder -literally- when alcohol was in his system.

Your taunts left his head spinning. The way your breath hitched before 'Daddy', the smile clear in your voice. It left him with no choice but to push off the couch to find you. Determined, he pushed through the crowd, ignoring the hands that reached out to him.

It was at the bottom of the stairs where he found you. With your hand on the handrail, you raised your eyebrow. Your eyes said you were bored, yet a small smile on your mouth said you were waiting for him. He narrowed his eyes on you, as if saying there was nowhere for you to run. Because you could either go down the stairs into him or up to his bedroom.

Before a word slipped past his lips, you slowly climbed up. Your hands dropped to the bottom of your dress, lifting a little with every step of the floating staircase.

Heat flashed through his body as he viewed your hand slip between your thighs, pushing your panties aside to reveal a glistening center. His mind raced with the possibilities of what you were thinking about.

You giggled, closing your legs and resting against the wall at the top. Jungkook took the opportunity to hurry up the stairs. And when he stumbled to the top, he turned you into the hallway, squeezing your waist harder than he meant to.

As your back bumped into the wall behind you, a dangerous glimmer came across your eyes. Jungkook dropped his gaze from your lips down to where your dress rode up more.

God, your thighs. They looked soft, and he'd do anything to knead them in his hands. Or better, have them squeeze around him as he eats you out. Jungkook's eyes fell back over your face, and he watched the way you press your tongue against your teeth. Busted.

"I have a confession," he told you. "I have thought about choking you."

You trained your eyes on him. Slowly, his hand traveled to brush your hair away before he wrapped it around your neck, carefully pressing his thumb on the side of your throat.

You gave him the middle finger, biting down on your lip.

He chuckled, holding up his own. Except, he made you follow it as he brought it between your legs. Lightly, his middle finger trailed in your folds, the silkiness of your panties making him hard.

Your chin instinctually tilted and when he did it again, he was welcomed with dampness.

"Careful," you moaned with purpose. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd want to fuck me."

"Enough" he whispered, the alcohol on his breath fanning your face. He stumbled closer, but in a way that was hiding you from the people coming to and from the hallway. You two were visible but not visible enough in the dimly lit and smoke filled corridor.

When you looked back at him, it was with feigned innocence. An expression reading I don't know what you're talking about.

"Enough with the act," he clarified. He was fed up with you acting like you were such a good girl when he was sure you were the opposite.

Your fingers danced up his chest, feathering his neck before your hands interlaced behind it.

"Okay," you said in a small voice, tilting your head.

Your approval shocked Jungkook, making him scrunch his eyebrows.

"I'll drop more than my act... " your eyes looked down to his full lips for a moment. "If you get on your knees and worship me."

You hold his burning gaze. The tension growing so thick that Jungkook caved in that moment. He dropped quickly to the ground, and you straightened up like you didn't expect him too.

In truth, it was like Jungkook was waving for your permission. Before you took what you said back, he threw your leg over his shoulder and lifted his head to cup over your mound.

The hitch in your gasp told him you lost all the air in your lungs, making him smile.

"If I didn't know any better..." he muffled against your panties, "I'd say you want to fuck me too."

And not waiting another second more, he swept your panties to the side and ate you out in the hallway of the frat house. He lapped with his tongue eagerly, breathing in harshly through his nose, your aroma making him hungry for more.

You unraveled, shamefully. Although you squeaked protests, you yanked his hair and sunk his head closer. Riding the waves of pleasure, you felt your face heat up, your hair over it not helping.

Jungkook looked up at you with doe eyes, mouth glistening and fingers softening your side. He knew he had you when you drop into his arms. Catching you, he lifted you up where you could envelope your legs around him.

Bringing you into his room, he kicked the door closed. And placing you onto his bed, he continued where he left off. Kissing, sucking, rolling, lapping, rubbing, he did it all with a euphoric chuckle in between. Your moans edged him, increasing from quiet to airy to whiny.

He could listen to them all day.

Giving his mouth a break, he lifted away and let his fingers achieve your climax. When you arched up, his palm roamed down your side.

"Fuck, ___. Did you forget how a good girl's supposed to act?"

He was right, you had forgotten. Your task almost slipping out of your mind.

What he didn't know was when he reached over to play music, you had pulled out your phone from your bra to press record before sliding it under the pillow. And before he noticed, you brought him into the bed to lie down so you could climb on top.

And that video was never supposed to be put out.

- - - - - - - - - - -

When was the last time you had a good night's sleep? We're talking pulse undetectable kind of sleep. Sleep that you wake up feeling as if you've been pulled from the depths of the earth. This sleep was so concerning you were debating whether you needed to be checked for sleep apnea.

It took a lot of effort to open your eyelids, one fluttering after the other as you get used to your muscles again. When your vision clears, the confusion brews.

You question if you ever left Taehyung's room. Then, the room becomes crystal clear, making all the memories hit you at once. The bonfire, Jungkook and Nina, the fight, the kiss, the shower. You almost orgasm for the fifth time --- not really, but it was overwhelming to experience a night's long event in a flash.

Soft humming turns your attention to find Jungkook at his desk. He looks softer today as his oversized cream shirt swallows him. His hand glides across his notebook as he jots down notes from his laptop, his other hand drumming on the surface of the desk. The sun is shining on him, and the way his hair gleams it's chocolate hues makes you want to run your fingers through it again. But what entertains you the most is the golden round frames on his face. Oh, his face. The bruise had gotten worse. You suck in your breath, remembering how fast Taehyung threw his fist across Jungkook's face last night.

You must've been staring for so long because he picks up his head and glances over. With a double-take, he processes that you're awake.

You wish you were a graceful waker-upper with flowing hair and a radiant face. Instead, you squint as you sit up, and attempt to fix your (his) shirt that's twisted around your body.

"You're a morning person," you mumble.

Jungkook snorts, twisting his pen between his fingers. "Morning? It's already 3." Amused, you watch how he spins it. A smile tugs on your face, recalling how he did that in class. Then his words sink in.

3 p.m.?! Oh, hell. Juli has probably already sent out a search party. It wouldn't have gotten far knowing Yoongi would calm her down, but at the expense of spilling the beans. And that's if videos of you didn't spread. Not to mention, when you walk out of this room, you'd have to face Taehyung.

Fuck, this was worse than a hangover.

Your pulled from your thoughts hearing Jungkook climb onto the bed, you look at him raising an eyebrow. When he gets close enough, you frown, which stretches his smile. As he hovers over your lips, your annoyance melts away.

"Fucking love that," he murmurs.

"Hm?" you open your eyes.

He scrunches his face cutely, "How you act so tough, until..." He pauses, and you give a wobble of your head to say 'go on'. He takes your lips quicker than you realize.

You stare at him until you turn away to crack a smile. You hate that he's right. Are you that weak for him?

He smirks, pointing his eyebrows at you because yes, yes you were. In response, you take his glasses from his face.

Jungkook lunges at you, kissing you harder. His smile matches yours as you catch up to his excited kisses. Was he waiting for you to wake up this whole time to do that? Your morning kiss turns from fun and cute to serious when he nips your top lip. There's a brief hitch before your lips are tingling, your teeth accidentally clashing, and your losing air, unable to catch it when he keeps diving for more.

"J-Jung-"

Your phone rings loudly, causing you both to untangle. To your surprise, you find it charging on his nightstand.

Jungkook pants and adjusts himself at his waistband. "Sora found it. It's been going off all morning."

You close your eyes before taking it from the charger. "Juli... she's going to kill me."

Unknown to Jungkook, you were talking more about the relationship than not answering her calls. But you'll have at least the entire drive home to figure out how to explain it to her.

Jungkook lays back against his headboard, holding his hands together, looking over your shoulder. "Nah, she knows you're fine. I texted her."

You freeze. "Texted?"

He looks at you proudly. "That you were safe and sound with your boyfriend."

Your heart skips a beat.

"And...?" Your voice catches in your throat.

"Wanna find out?" Jungkook unclasps his hands and tugs the phone out of your hand, happily.

"Wait, from my phone? How did you even unlock-"

He holds it in front of your face with a cheesy grin and you watch it unlock. Your almost too stunned by his cleverness.

He's caught up in reading her text that he forgets to read it out loud. You lean in to face her mass texts.

You (Jungkook): I'm fine~~ With my new boyfriend💋 Juli: Bitch wtf?! ! ! Juli: Serious orrr Juli: Hello???? Juli: It's been 2 hours, slut!! You better be having the best sex of your life Juli: Oh, so you can text Yoongi you're okay, but not ME Juli: You have 1 hour😤

"She wasn't wrong," Jungkook rolls out of his mouth and you supress a smile.

"Well-"

"I don't want to hear it." Jungkook sets the phone aside and hovers over you. You give in and fall back, staring up into his doe eyes. Even though his face is bruised, it's still one of the most attractive faces you know.

You inhale slowly, feeling the warmth bubbling in your chest. Today, was the first day of your relationship with Jungkook. It made you nervous. What would your days with the once campus playboy be like? How would everyone react? You two were in opposing fraternities, making it so unexpected. Then, there's the girls that would be jealous and who'd wonder why he chose you out of all of them.

Even you know your worth, and couldn't help but wonder what drew Jungkook toward you. If you told him a month ago, he'd go as far as fighting his best friend over you, he'd tell you to go to hell.

Jungkook bends closer, and you feel his soft lips against your neck.

"Tonight's Meet the Greeks." You whisper out.

He hums to confirm, the vibrations making you close your eyes.

"We only have a couple of hours..."

"Perfect." He opens his mouth and kisses where he's at.

You entangle your fingers in his hair. Not what you meant.

"Don't you need to set up your presentation?" You try to control your voice, but he's making it hard.

"It's on my laptop. I saved us some time by having disabled the password so I can just-"

He lifts his hand and mimics opening the laptop quickly, all the while his lips remain working on your neck.

You roll your eyes. That's so him.

You still had a lot to do, like go over your speech, pick-up the flyers, and get ready. But your mind gets hazy with how Jungkook's worked his way up to your ear, gently blowing in it. And the next thing you know, you're going back under the covers.

- - - - - - - - - - -

You turned down Jungkook's offer to walk you to your car. He still had to get ready and you knew all the possibilities of what that trip to your car could turn into. You were enough trouble, you didn't want to add late to a fraternity meeting on the list.

As you walk down the hall, you look up when you hear a door close.

Who else could be stepping out of the bathroom other than Kim Taehyung? Walking out of Jungkook's room, you knew you had a lot of people to face. He wasn't the first one on the list you wanted to encounter.

He looks up, hair dripping droplets down. As he put the necklace back around his neck, his muscles flexed under his tight tank, his sweatpants hanging low as he must've quickly thrusted them on after his shower. You suck in air between your teeth because you lost all bragging rights of him.

Taehyung blinks, his eyes flickering anger? Sadness? Resent? Disappointment? Everything all at once?

He lowers his lids as he drops his hands, necklace hanging where it should. "Congratulations."

There was a chance he was being genuine. Yet, you couldn't help make the situation so awkward that the tension physically hurt. "Taehyung," you breathe out shaky, "I'm-"

He shakes his head. Leaning forward with a lopsided smile, he winks. "I said 'congratulations'."

Nodding your head, you lock your lips tight.

He brushes past you, but calls your name when he's a little further away.

You face him, cheeks flushed.

"Whenever you need me... you can come to me."

He lifts two fingers but instead of holding it by his eye as usual, he holds it over his mouth. He spreads his tongue out between his fingers. Your lips part in shock.

"I don't even have to be there." Backing away, he holds out his arms in a shrug.

While holding your breath, you watch him chuckle before walking back to his room.

Kim fucking Taehyung.

- - - - - - - - - - -

It had been 2 hours since you left, and Jungkook's high wasn't wearing off. Despite the bruise on his nose extending out to under his left eye, he grinned. He didn't win the fight, yet he felt victorious. He was curious about what rumors people were circulating about that night. People had to be smart enough to speculate it was about a girl. What would their reaction be like when they find out it was over you? And that you chose Jungkook? He throws his head back, elated that you're going around calling him yours.

After tonight's meeting, he plans on stopping by your place, surprising you with hot food from Yum's food truck, and putting on whatever was new this week. The fall weather was perfect for horror movie so maybe he'll suggest that. And then tomorrow, the two of you could drag yourselves out of bed to study in the library. You'll hate him for it, but all will be forgiven when he gets you your favorite drink from the coffee shop by the entrance.

Monday, you'll plot how to give Dr. Lim a heart attack, and that might be as easy as walking in holding hands or him stealing kisses in the middle of lecture. Tuesday, he'll leave his frat meeting to go bother yours. Wednesday, he'll crash at your place and woo your roommates with chicken and soju. Thursday, he'll steal you after class and take you downtown until late at night when string lights illuminate the block and music plays loudly on the speakers.

Friday, you'll go to the city's pier and he'll show off on the zipline before taking you on the ferris wheel a thousand times. Saturday, he'll follow you around as you do your errands, even if it was simply doing your laundry for the week, sneaking in butt pinches when he can. Sunday, he'll bring you home and while you grocery shop for the week, he'll introduce you to his neighborhood grandmas (who dote on him), so they can have something new to brag about.

And the next week, you'll do it all over again.

As he walked into the meeting room, his grin set off a round of curious and knowing ooooohs. He bears his teeth and widens his eyes, overwhelmed with how questions are thrown his way. With a wave of his hands he dismisses the comments about Taehyung being thrown out of the fraternity.

He sets his laptop at the podium and unclenches his jaw. "Nope. I'm not kicking him out of the frat."

Namjoon leans forward and raises his eyebrow, arms crossed across his chest. It's his way of asking Jungkook if he's okay. He nods his way, reassuring him.

"We had a misunderstanding."

Jimin mutters the word in disbelief. "A misunderstanding would be like the time you drank his drink and he told you he had mono, not 'want more?' A misunderstanding is not trying to concave each other's bones."

Namjoon raises his arm to block Jimin's view of Jungkook, trying to get him to calm down.

Jungkook has to hold onto the podium with both hands. He gulps, "Well, I'm not kicking him out, but it's his choice if he's staying."

Another member speaks up, "Without Taehyung, we don't have a treasurer. We might actually have to cut back. He paid for everything!"

Jungkook tenses up, feeling the stress weigh him down. Taehyung did a lot as treasurer, even paying any difference in what they couldn't fundraise. If they lose him, it could be the fall of the fraternity if they didn't pull their shit together. Jungkook hated that. He hated relying on Taehyung for money.

He continues, "We might have to actually fundraise-"

"Not leaving the frat," a low voice interrupts from behind them. The one who speaks up looks like his face dried and shriveled upon hearing Taehyung.

Taehyung walks and pulls out the chair with his foot before plopping himself down. "So you can keep being my sugar baby."

"Sorry," he squeaks.

Jungkook and Taehyung lock eyes. Taehyung stares back with empty ones. After a few pauses, his left hand comes up to bring his vape to his mouth. Jungkook flickers his eyes away, quickly recomposing himself.

"Alright, then. Let's just get tonight over with. You all know what you need to do... tables, chairs, banner, catering, music... I still have to finish the presentation."

The volume increases as the meeting ends, everyone suddenly acting responsible to prepare for tonight.

Jungkook can't help but feel awkward with Taehyung in the room. The two couldn't just brush off the asshole things they said. Jungkook knows he should be the first one to apologize since he threw the first punch, but he couldn't move his two feet. Taehyung was going to leave soon to set up his DJ equipment, so maybe the apology could wait?

Except, Taehyung wasn't leaving. He kept sitting there at the table, vaping, checking his nails, or whistling. At some point, when Jungkook looked up, Taehyung flinched under his stare as if Jungkook's gaze hurt the bruises on his face. Dramatically, he touches them and looks back at his hand in mock terror. Jungkook scoffs, almost pointing to his own nose that he should x-ray.

With a deep sigh, Jungkook mutters an apology.

Taehyung sticks a finger in his ear, looking around the room like he didn't hear him. He yawns, smacking his lips at the end. Looking at Jungkook he raises his eyebrows. Hmm?

Jungkook shakes his head, tapping the side of his laptop. "I'm sorry."

"So you'll hand her over?" Taehyung doesn't miss a beat.

Before he can frown, Taehyung jumps up from his chair. "Kidding."

"For the record, I'm not sorry for what I said."

"Good. 'Cause neither am I." Taehyung shrugs.

Jungkook nods, feeling a little bit better. "Now go make sure the microphone and speakers are set up."

"Yes, president." With a salute, Taehyung turns and grabs his jacket off one of the hooks on the wall. The jacket only sees the light of day during events like this since he doesn't regularly wear it.

Jungkook looks back at his laptop, the screensaver running. A video thumbnail appears and he narrows his eyes, recognizing that the video was taken yesterday based on his outfit. He looks around the room to make sure that no one is left. As he presses play, drunken memories slowly return. His eyes widen and he quickly disconnects the HDMI cord from the projector.

"Jungkook!" Someone calls for him from outside the room.

He clears his throat and walks over to help lift the marquee light up letters on the cart.

That video on his laptop was another one that was never supposed to go out. Maybe if Jungkook hadn't left his laptop unattended...

it wouldn't have.

___________________________________________

Bad Guy Taglist @nglmrk @happyflowergalaxy @infernal-alpaca @kokoandkookie @giadalin @sugarp3ach @jknk @daddypkj @maichiverse @marcoazz2 @thisartemisnevermisses @shatzkrinslinzki @jentle-monster @bunnybearrj @choco-chip-kookie @trickylittlewitch @brilliantmoon7 @moonchilddna @sionaaa @go0dasgolden @hrts4kook @mageprincess7 @everythanggoes @freakitti @cantchooseanamebye @bbtsficrecs @bnagtanx1306 @hiii-priestess @somehowukook @kumakoyan @nqseo @multiasf @picturethosesmiles @angelarin @ellesalazar @september-husband @daddychims

I hope the taglist works, sorry if I missed you! And for everyone reading, thank you! For those who responded to my "need-support" post, know that you HELPED!! This goes out for you!

#Jungkook x reader #Bad Guy!Jungkook #Jeon Jungkook smut #JJK #BTS smut #Enemies to lovers Jungkook #College au #Jungkook college au #fratboy jungkook #taehyung

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euphorajeon · 2 years

Text

love (and all of its complications) | kth

— pairing: photography student!tae x reader

— genre: fluff, angst (a bit) | college au

— word count: 3.1k

— warnings: insecurities, self-deprecating thoughts, (most likely) inaccurate use of photography terms, the nickname love, brief mention of min yoonji (haha)

— summary: when you think you're not worth loving, he lists all the reason why you are.

— author's note: this is a request from a friend based on the song best part of me by ed sheeran (ft. yebba)! so its a bit oc-centric. if you're having similar thoughts to oc, i hope tae's words can become a source of comfort for you :) enjoy!

masterlist

The first thing you notice upon waking up from slumber is the weight of your boyfriend’s head on your chest, his fluffy hair tickling your chin. As much as you like having him close like this, the position makes it hard for you to breathe, so you shift your body a little to give your lungs the oxygen they deserve. Your movement triggers that of his as well, his arm tightening around your waist and his leg around your legs, making you sigh in defeat.

A glance at the wall clock tells you that it’s still way too early for him to wake up, so you decide to give him those extra hours of sleep you know he will appreciate later. Your hand settles on his hair, fingers running through the strands once before you angle your head to give him a kiss on the top of his head. He stirs a bit but doesn’t wake up, instead he snuggles closer to your body like you’re his personal body pillow.

When your hand catches on his t-shirt while rubbing his back, the black color of the fabric reminds you that your boyfriend had gone straight to bed last night in the same clothes he had been wearing all night. Any protests you put up fell on deaf ears as he whined for you to get into bed with him, claiming he was too exhausted to wash up. Between his big puppy eyes and pouting lips, you couldn’t find it in you to deny him of your hold, allowing him to pull you onto the mattress and into dreamland.

Last night was the opening night of Taehyung’s photography exhibition, so you understand the state of exhaustion he’s in. You’ve witnessed first-hand how stressed he was preparing for this event, from the initial proposal to choosing the photos to display and arranging them in the exhibition venue according to his vision. It was filled with countless sleepless nights and too many cups of coffee you started to worry about his wellbeing, something you told him often. Despite his reassurance that he would be fine, you still found yourself biting your lip in worry every time he looked even the slightest bit tired.

Last night, he proved to you that all of those sleepless nights and bitter coffees are worth it as he proudly hosted the opening night of his own exhibition that has been his dream for so long. You had watched as the sparks never left his eyes for the entirety of the night, even though he had to be on his feet for hours and talk non-stop to the guests. You watched with admiration in your eyes every time he explained the meaning behind the photos on display, feeling pride swell in your heart when you see that people were as mesmerized as you were listening to him talk about his art.

You had let yourself wander around the exhibition without him, letting him be the star of the show on his own. It was fascinating to see the exhibition in its finished form when you’ve only seen parts of the building process, seeing the bits you recognize and how it came to life with the things added around them. It was also different seeing the photos finally lined up according to the story that Taehyung wants to tell, the message he wants to convey. Through the various colors and techniques, he bares his mind to everyone and hopes that it was enough to be understood.

You’ve always admired Taehyung’s photography skills. The way he captures mundane things and makes them appear extraordinary in his shots never fails to evoke emotions out of you, sometimes even making you believe that the world is as beautiful as it is behind his camera lens. Often you wonder if that’s how he sees the world — through a rose-colored glass, void of the black-colored stains that’s always lurking in the corner.

You found the answer last night, when he was talking to his photography club friends about the general theme of his exhibition. It’s not exactly looking at the world through a rose-colored glass — or lens, in his case — but just to show people than you can find beauty even in the tiniest nook and cranny of places you never thought to be beautiful. You thought it’s an endearing concept, but one of his friends argued that the narrative seems too idealistic in the way it sugarcoats the harsh realities of the world. They had launched into a discussion of this topic with different opinions from each one of Taehyung’s friends, giving their own input as to why this is damaging or healing.

The discussion was intense and at some point even they made you voice your thoughts on the matter as someone who doesn’t see the world through a lens like the rest of them. Your answer, of course, made them groan because it aligns with your boyfriend’s opinion, giving the impression that you were just saying things to support him even though it was your honest thoughts on the topic. Taehyung had given you a huge grin before squeezing you in a side-hug, relaying his gratitude silently. The conversation continued in a good-manered banter, soon after shifting to the techniques used in Taehyung’s photographs.

The words being thrown around sounded so foreign to you, who was only able to recognize the terms composition and exposure. Something about positioning, lighting, coloring, editing.. you tuned them out after a while. Despite so, you didn’t miss the way Taehyung talked animatedly about his craft, responding to each and every query from his friends with enthusiasm. It was clear from the discussion that everyone in the club is really passionate about this, about the things they want to tell through photographs, about the message each of them carries in every frame they capture.

Sometimes you wonder how it feels to be that passionate about something.

You have your own interests and hobbies, of course, ones you even think are your passion in life that you’d continue doing for the rest of your life. You spend weeks, months, years to perfect your own art until you’re confident that you have put out the best results and can proudly present them to the world. Surely, this is your passion, your life calling, you’re meant to do this for as long as you live. For a moment, you truly believed that.

Soon after, reality turns bleak as you come to a realization that your best does not even come close to someone else’s worst. Every corner you turn, there’s always someone with more things to offer; more appeal, more elegance, more eloquence. Your best result, the one you created with all the effort you could muster, paled in comparison to them. Hell, it was annihilated, utterly destroyed without a trace left. You’d watched your dreams crash and burn, taking your confidence with them.

Striped off your art, your passion, you’re left with a gaping hole of what else? What else do you have to offer to the world? What else do you have in you that’s worth showing off? What else can you do to prove your worth? What else can you do if not this?

Those questions play themselves in an endless loop inside your head, plaguing your mind day in, day out. There are times when they’re not as loud, only serving as background noise while you go through your day, but you find there are more times that they are roaring in your ears like thunder prior to a storm. They get worse whenever you see people talking about what they do with so much fervor, the fire in their eyes reflecting in your empty ones. Your fire was long gone even before it was able to be ablaze.

Often times, it makes you wonder whether you’ll ever be good enough without a passion.

“Honey? Sweetheart?”

Your boyfriend’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. It sounds even deeper than normal, indicating that he just woke up. When you look down, though, his eyes are wide open and there’s concern in them, like he can hear the thunder that rumbled in your head moments prior. You hope not. It’s too early for him to be worried.

“Are you okay?” Uh, oh. “I called you like, five times before this. Thought you were still asleep, but you’re awake..” Taehyung turns in your hold, holding himself up using his right arm. The worry in his eyes doesn’t cease, and you hate to be the cause of it.

“I’m fine, Tae, why wouldn’t I be?” You press your lips into a faint smile, hoping he would just chalk it up to you being tired from the event last night. His left hand comes up to your cheek and you lean into the touch, unconsciously releasing a small sigh.

“You had that faraway look that you do whenever you’re thinking about something,” Taehyung says, his gaze analyzing your expression. “And this time, it’s paired with a frown,” he continues, the pad of his thumb lightly brushing over the corner of your lips which you try really hard to keep upturned. “You’re not fine, love.”

Another sigh escapes your lips as you close your eyes, hating the fact that your boyfriend knows you like the back of his hand.

“Yeah, it’s just..” How do you downplay this so he doesn’t get more worried? “..morning woes,” you settle. That should be enough. “Don’t worry about it, Tae.”

Your hand reaches for his head so you can go back to running your fingers through his hair like you were doing before he woke up, but he’s having none of it as he pushes himself to a sitting position, ridding you of his body warmth. “You saying that is the reason why I have to worry,” he counters. “Is it one of my friends? Or the guest? Did anyone make you uncomfortable last night?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” you rush to correct his assumptions. Although it is true that your spiraling thoughts started because of his friends, it’s not for the reason he’s thinking of. “It’s just me thinking too much, Tae, it’s okay,” you try to reassure him once again.

“About what?” Taehyung asks, eyes never leaving yours. You wish he’d turn his gaze somewhere else, because you’re not sure the clouds behind your irises can be hidden for much longer. You’d hate to taint this important moment for him with your clouds, dark and rumbling in your mind.

Apparently you’re silent for too long that he deems you’re back in your head again. “Hey, it’s okay.. you can tell me,” he whispers, thumb stroking your cheek gently. His eyes have gone softer now, no longer staring at you with concern swimming in his orbs. You should be relieved, happy that he’s not worried anymore, but somehow the emotion replacing that worry makes your heart tighten in your chest.

Love.

He’s staring at you with love. Gentle and quiet, like he’s saying it doesn’t matter what you have in your mind, doesn’t matter how dark the clouds are, doesn’t matter how much the storm is raging, he will always find your hand to hold and pull you out into the light. He will always love you, whether your head is filled with a ray of sunshine or a raging storm.

“Do you love me?” You say quietly. It’s almost rethorical, with the way his gaze has your answer even before you voice out the question.

“Yes, of course I love you.” It doesn’t even take a second for him to answer. “Is this what you were thinking about? Whether I love you or not?” Taehyung sounds genuinely surprised, maybe because it never occurred to him to doubt his love for you.

Instead of responding to his question, you put your arms around his shoulders and pull him down for a hug. It’s an uncomfortable position and his arms are bent at an awkward angle, but you don’t care. You need to let this man know that you’ve never doubted his love for you either, only the reason behind it and whether you deserve it or not.

“Love, will you tell me what’s going on?” Taehyung’s voice is muffled against your shoulder. You blink back tears that are threatening to spill out as you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“Why do you love me, Tae?”

The whispered question makes him pull away from the hug to get a look at your expression. You lost your hiding place and have no choice but to let him see you in this state; glassy, red-rimmed eyes, vulnerable. Taehyung’s eyebrows slope downwards and he looks like he’s something between angry and upset. It occurs to you that the single sentence you let out could have been interpreted in so many different ways, so you rush to explain yourself.

“It’s not that — that I don’t believe that you love me. It’s just..” you take a deep breath and release it in a shaky sigh. “Why are you in love with me? I’m not as pretty as your other friends, I’m not talented, not even that smart. Heck, I quit doing my art because I wasn’t good enough at the thing I claimed to be my passion. I don’t have anything about me to be proud of, to be worthy of being loved. Why are you still with me? You could have anyone else that has so much more to offer than me..”

By the end of your explanation, tears have flown freely down your cheeks. It seems silly to be crying even before noon, but the demons inside your head don’t look at the time when they summon storms. You just wish Taehyung didn’t have to see this. He doesn’t deserve this version of you when he has given you nothing but his best.

“I’m still with you because you make me happy,” Taehyung says. He pulls you up into a sitting position before cupping your cheeks in his huge hands, thumbs brushing away your tears. He doesn’t stop even when they continue flowing out of your eyes.

“I’m still with you because you make me laugh with your one-liners, because you laugh at my jokes. I’m with you because you call my photos beautiful even when I think they’re not. I’m with you because you don’t get mad at me whenever I burn food and instead offer to clean up with me. I’m with you because you push me to be the best version of myself even without realizing it.

“You’re beautiful, talented, and smart, love. Even when you choose not to believe it yourself. You’re courageous, too, for deciding to quit when you felt it was too much for you. Many people might not agree with me, but it takes great courage and strength to be able to quit from something you’ve been doing for so long with so much effort. It’s okay if you don’t have something to be passionate about right now, I will be here for you until you find a new one, or maybe get back to the one you left.”

Taehyung smiles, and your sobs get uglier.

“I love you for all the reasons you think you don’t deserve to be loved for, so you can quit worrying about it, okay?”

You sob loudly and he chuckles, endeared, as he pulls you back into his arms. His hands rub soothingly down your back, letting you cry on his shoulder without any complaints. Pressing his cheek against the top of your head, he releases a relieved sigh with a small smile.

“You know, it’s a wonder as well that you love me,” Taehyung laughs quietly. “I can’t cook, I’m terribly messy, and when I work on my project I ignore you for days. Do you remember the twenty missed calls you left because I fell asleep in the studio when preparing for the exhibition?”

You sniff and chuckle, your voice sounding funny when you talk because of your blocked nose. “That’s because you’re passionate. You just worried me when you didn’t pick up your phone, thought you were dead from exhaustion.” You clear your throat to get rid of the scratchiness of your voice. “Also I don’t mind that you can’t cook, as long as you stay updated on delivery places so we have something different to eat every day.”

“You don’t mind that I can’t cook because you can’t cook either, love.”

“Yeah, that too.”

Taehyung lets out another chuckle as he squeezes your form, peppering your head with kisses. You both stay like that for a while, enjoying each other’s body warmth. It allows you to settle the storm inside your head, now only a pitter-patter against the window in your mind. Soon, it’ll be filled with sunshine again. You believe it will.

“Can I ask you about something?” Taehyung says after minute of being silent. You hum your affirmation, allowing him to continue. “What triggered you? To think about all of that this early in the morning?”

“It’s almost eleven, Tae, not early at all,” you muse, ignoring the first part of his question. You let out a sigh when he gives no response to your joke. “Just.. meeting your friends last night. They’re fine, I swear! But the way you guys were talking about the exhibition, about photography in general.. it made me realize how passionate you all are and made me wonder why I can’t be that passionate towards something as well. Yeah, there you go.”

“Oh, love..” Taehyung sighs.

“Also, your friends are really pretty and talented, I couldn’t help but feel insecure, you know?” You add, tone light and playful to let your boyfriend know that you’re okay now. Even if there’s some truth to your words. “Who’s the one who has dark blue hair? I saw the shot she showed you on her phone, it was really beautiful and stuck with me the most.”

“Oh, that’s Min Yoonji. If you remember Yoongi from the club last year, she’s his twin. Yoongi couldn’t come last night so he sent her in his stead,” Taehyung explains. “You don’t have to be insecure, though. Yoonji might be pretty and talented, but she’s not you.”

You snort out a shy laugh. “Alright, I get it. Ease up on the flirting, will you?”

“Hey, I’m serious!” He laughs and it’s so contagious you find yourself laughing out loud as well. “Really, though, love. Okay?”

“Hmm,” you respond. Then, “I love you, Tae.”

“I love you too,” he replies. “Now can we get breakfast? Brunch? I’m starving.”

And as you laugh again, you think you’ll be fine. You think the storms will calm down into a drizzle, and the drizzle will soon let up to allow a ray of sunshine to pass through the clouds. There might even be a rainbow adorning the sky of your mind, and it will look picture-perfect just like how Taehyung captures the world in his lens.

You’ll be fine.

— a/n: thanks for reading! tell me your thoughts here :)

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leewriting · 2 years

Text

Things that matter more

Roommate au Mafia au

Roommates to lovers

Jungkook x reader

At first, getting a new roommate after your friend had moved out appalled you. Just thinking about sharing your space with a stranger put you on edge, but as the weeks went by and the rent went up you had no other choice but to post that stupid ad. In many ways living with Jungkook is perfect for an introverted med student like yourself. He pays rent on time and is seldom home leaving the apartment quiet and clean. On the other hand, there is the small problem of him stumbling in at three in the morning, hurt and letting blood stain your new carpet.

Wordcount:32k

Warnings: Mentions of death, abuse and dead bodies, blood and injuries, angst

A/N, okay so I have become so attached to this story. I hope you all love it as much as I do. Please let me know what you think by commenting. I love you all and I hope you enjoy the story.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I hate you.” You glare. You can feel the absolute rage build up inside you until you finally explode and hit the stupid printer. It still doesn’t want to print your assignment.

“Okay, I’m sorry I promise I won’t do that again.” you plead, close to tears. “But it is kind of your own fault.” You bite your lip, are you really trying to gaslight your printer?

“Okay you win, see” you start backing up, hands held in front of you. “I’m going to leave, and we can try and work this out when I get back.” You turn and retreat from your room.

You sigh. Okay, maybe you’ve finally gone crazy, but you are at your wit's end. You need to have this printed before tomorrow because your professor apparently still lives in the dark ages and wants everything to be submitted in hard copy.

It’s 3 am and the apartment is dark and silent. You feel a tingle travel down your spine and you race down the hallway for the light switch next to the front door.

Breathing a sigh of relief with the lights officially on, you turn to the kitchen ready for a cup of coffee. But you freeze when you see the figure standing behind the island. The scream leaves your throat before you have a chance to think.

The man in your kitchen swirls around and your scream dies down immediately. It’s just Jungkook.

Jungkook your roommate for the past 6 months is home earlier than you expected. He must have gotten off early from work. You’re not sure what his job is, hell you’re not even sure what his middle name is or if he even has one for that matter. He showed up at your doorstep after you posted the ad. At first, you were apprehensive of course about him being a man and all, but you didn’t really have another choice unless you wanted to live with Becky a girl you can’t stand, so you agreed.

Living with him is much better than you expected, he cleans up after himself, and as mentioned he is almost never home meaning you get the rent paid without having to deal with petty roommate drama. It’s a win-win situation.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks his eyebrow raised and surveying you after your little freak out.

You blush, feeling foolish. “Yes, sorry I didn’t know you were here.” You look away trying to come off nonchalant even though your heart is still racing from the fright you had.

“Well, I do live here you know.” He smirks, pouring milk into a glass.

“Yeah, I never see you so I forget.” You blurt out. You didn’t mean to say that. You guess your mouth is just running away on its own now. Maybe there is a medical condition for it. You should look it up, you bet it’s called being stupid and unable to function late at night without coffee.

He just hums and nods, taking a sip of his milk, not bothered by your statement.

“Why were you in the dark anyway?” You ask, realising how weird it is that he didn’t turn on a light.

“Working on my night vision.” He smirks and struts to his door. “Goodnight.” He gives a little wave before closing his room door behind him.

You stand there confused for a moment but you brush it off. It’s not unusual, this is how most of your conversations with him go. He always dodges questions with strange remarks. However, you still have a good relationship, maybe it’s more like a common understanding that just because you live together means you can be acquaintances without being friends.

Making friends with people isn’t really your strong suit. Mostly you feel too uncomfortable in social situations to really talk to others, and when you do start talking most people tend to stare at you as if you grew a second head. Someone once told you your sense of humour is apparently off-putting, whatever that means. Mostly you say the wrong things at the wrong time when meeting someone so you shy away from situations with strangers.

That’s why you don’t really try too hard to get to know Jungkook. You feel it’ll only make things more awkward if he knew that his roommate is an awkward human who thinks talking about true crime is the epitome of conversation.

You head to the kitchen still in thought, and magically you’re able to make yourself coffee without burning your hand off with boiling water. It’s a real accomplishment at this time of night.

You sit on the couch for a bit, rejoicing in the silence around you before you hear the printer you were abusing finally coming to its senses and doing its job. With a sigh you place your cup in the sink and head back to your room, only to find your papers scattered across the floor as the printer keeps spitting out more.

“Fuck” You groan out in irritation and you swear you hear a giggle coming from the room next door.

“He chopped up his victims and buried them in the woods near his house.” The true-crime podcast is playing in the background while you make notes. You’re up later than usual, much later, but you need to get these notes done before class tomorrow.

You hear the front door creak open. You immediately stop what you’re doing, pausing the podcast in the process. You sit in silence waiting for the tell-tale sign of Jungkook walking to his room. The shoes he wears always make enough noise to be able to track every step. You once told him he can probably kick someone unconscious with his shoes. He only responded with a smirk.

You don’t hear him at all and you’re getting paranoid now. Maybe listening to a true crime podcast this time of night isn’t such a good idea as you thought it would be. You take a deep breath in, deciding what to do. You reach for your phone and dial Jungkook’s number.

He once told you that if there was ever an emergency you should call him. You scoffed at the time but now you hope that he counts a possible murderer as one of those emergencies. You press the phone to your ear but frown when you hear his ringtone blast through the apartment. You swear he is the only person you know who doesn't have his phone on silent all the time.

You get up hesitantly when he doesn't pick up. You follow his ringtone to the living room and freeze.

There on the floor laying face down on the new rug is your roommate. You frown as the weird red tye-dye on his shirt seems to be spreading onto said rug. Your eyes grow wide as the realisation hits you. It’s not tye-dye it’s fucking blood!

You rush to his side.

“Jungkook!” He groans, at least he is still awake, “Hey can you hear me?”

“No.” He groans out and you would have laughed if he wasn’t currently possibly bleeding out.

“What happened? Is there someone in the apartment?” Your frenzied mind immediately goes back to your suspicions of a murderer.

“No.” He says again and you feel a bit relieved even if he isn’t answering your first question.

“Okay, I need you to turn around.” You try to roll him over but it’s only with his help that you manage. You never guessed all that muscle would make him this heavy.

“Uhm okay…” Your hands hover over his torso. His entire shirt in the front is soaked with blood and he is too pale for your liking. “Okay, this is fine.”

You pull up his shirt and gasp at the cut on his side. “Okay, maybe this is not fine.” Your breath is haggard as panic sets in, but just as it does the med-student in you take over. This is just another emergency patient right? You can treat this, you’ve done it before. Just not alone without a supervisor to step in if you mess up, and not without the proper supplies. Still, you know what to do at least.

You pull your shirt over your head and press it onto the wound, making him wince. You press down hard but realise all your supplies are in your room.

“Okay Jungkook here.” You try to say it as calmly as possible, while you move his hand over yours. “Press hard okay.” You instruct and hope that he heard you because you’re up and running immediately.

You fly into your room and snatch up your first aid kit before you sprint back, sliding on your knees to him in your panic. Your skin burns from the friction, but you don’t have time to look.

You rip open your med kit and replace Jungkook’s hand on the cloth that was once your favourite baggy shirt. You cautiously lift it up and breathe out a sigh of relief when you see the bleeding has stopped.

“You’re okay, I’m okay we are all going to be okay,” you ramble while you pack out your supplies.

“That is very reassuring.” Jungkook jokes and you stare.

“How can you joke right now?” You almost scream out.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad…are you looking at it?” Your eyes are wide while you survey his much too calm face. Why does he almost look used to this? “ Nevermind don’t look.” You’re afraid he’ll start panicking if he does.

You wet gauze with disinfectant. “ This is going to sting.” You warn him before pressing the gauze to the cut. He immediately groans and grabs your arm trying to stop you, before he realises what he’s doing and lets it go again.

Once clean, you can get a good look at the wound. If you had to guess he tried to dodge whatever it was by turning out of the way. Clearly, it didn’t work and now you have no choice.

“It’s going to need stitches.” You bite your lip.

“Great then get on with it please.”

“Get on with… Jungkook stitches.” You repeat yourself sure he didn’t hear. “ As in threading a needle through your skin and I don’t have any numbing agent.”

“Is your bedside manner always this calming?” He hisses through his teeth in pain. Your eyes are wide, and he sighs when he looks at your face. “Just do it okay, I can take it.”

You nod and bite your lip before threading the needle.

Throughout the procedure, he lies as still as possible but his constant wincing and the few whimpers that escape his clenched jaw give away that he is in pain. Overall you just try to work as fast as possible. For the first time, you’re glad for all the times your professor made you redo your stitches because now you at least know that you’re doing it right.

“Alright all done, let me just wrap you up.” You state after a few moments, snipping the thread. You place all your now blood soaked tools on the coffee table, you’ll clean it up later, and come back with gauze and bandages.

Jungkook is still breathing heavily from the stitches sitting up a bit now. As soon as you start wrapping the bandages you can’t stop your eyes from wandering. Yes, he has a nice body but the thing that makes you almost gasp is all the healed scars. The faint white lines contrast with his skin. Your curiosity about the situation is spiked.

“Ouch.” Jungkook let’s slip when you finish tying the bandage.

“Sorry.” You apologise. For the first time, you survey him further. His torso is bruised badly, and for a moment you wonder if his ribs are damaged. His cheekbone is blossoming with purple hues and his lip is split, dried with blood. You sigh and pick up a gauze pad wetting it with the disinfectant.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, leaning back until his back meets the wall while you lean forward, the gauze held up in your hand.

“Will you please just hold still.” He hesitates long enough for you to press the gauze against his lip.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry.” You scoot closer to him so that you have more control and he looks at you.

“Thank you.” He says it softy and you nod, trying not to look at his intense staring eyes, you rather concentrate on his lip, dabbing it lightly with the gauze.

“Y/n” He encases your wrist with his hand making you stop and look at him in surprise. He is frowning slightly.

“Really thank you.” His face softens as he says the words, truly meaning them. Your brain struggles to come up with a reply but your mouth is clearly not affected.

“It’s a pleasure, I’m just really glad you didn’t die. I don't know how I would have gotten rid of your body.” You immediately mentally cringe. You always make stupid jokes like this in awkward situations. You had to learn to stop yourself for hospital practicals, but clearly, your training isn’t helping now.

Jungkook stares at you in shock and you’re just about to apologise when he starts laughing, wincing a bit but continuing.

“Yeah, I doubt you would have been able to drag me to the woods to bury me.” His reply surprises you, most people rarely appreciate your sense of humour.

“No, I would have probably had to chop you up.” You wait for his response, you’re sure he will change the topic but he just laughs again.

“O yeah, serial killer style okay.” He nods as if in thought and you frown, laughing at the twist the conversation has taken. “I don’t think that would be the best way though.”

“O and why not?” You have no idea why you feel defensive about the way you would dispose of a dead body.

“Because the mess would be way too much,” He says it so calmly, “Imagine the cleaning. You would definitely not get your deposit back on this place.” He grimaces at the idea and you laugh.

“You’re probably right,” You cave. “I’ll be sure to ask your advice if I ever need to hide a body.”

“I am nothing if not helpful.” He jokes.

You’ve never seen him smile this much, come to think of it you’ve barely seen him smile at all. It suits him, especially when his eyes crinkle up and his front teeth show the way it is doing now.

“Jungkook?” His name calls his attention to you immediately. You know it’s probably overstepping a boundary but you just feel like you need to know. “What happened?”

His face goes blank for a moment. He clears his throat. “ I was mugged.”

You don’t believe him, it sounds almost practised. He also doesn’t meet your eyes completely, but overall you can’t be sure he is lying. You don't know his tells, hell you don’t even really know him.

“I’m sorry that happened. I’m glad you’re safe.” You don’t push and you can see he appreciates it. If he was really mugged he probably doesn’t want to talk about it.

A lull falls over you two. You play with the gauze stretching it apart. You mentally chastise yourself. You just had to go and ruin the moment with your curiosity.

“I’m sorry.” He breaks the silence.

“Huh?” You frown at him and you stare even harder when you see his cheeks becoming a pinkish shade. At least you know he has enough blood to blush.

“I’m sorry about the rug.” He motions with his head to the big red stain on your once pretty rug. You can’t make him feel bad about it though.

“It’s okay, I like modern art anyway.” You awkwardly chuckle trying to reassure him, but when you see he is biting his lip still staring at the stain you sigh.

“You can make it up to me okay?” You say patting his shoulder. The movement feels very weird, out of place for some reason.

You watch his face morph into one of exhaustion very quickly. The adrenaline finally wearing off.

“I think you should go rest.” You say in your best doctor voice. Jungkook shows no resistance and just nods before slowly getting up, wincing with every movement and holding onto his injured side but he refuses your help.

You follow him to his room door. You worry that he’ll tear the stitches or what if you did it wrong and he bleeds out during the night? He turns around to face your anxious form.

“I’ll be fine Y/n don’t worry.” He says as if reading your mind.

“Call me if anything happens okay.” You get a nod in return heading to your own room, hearing his door close behind you.

Once in the comfort of your room, you take a second to process what happened, leaning against your door and counting the events on your fingers.

One, you had treated your first patient by yourself.

Two, unfortunately, it happened to be your mysteriously bleeding roommate at 3 in the morning,

Three, afterwards, you had the longest and weirdest conversation you’ve ever had with him.

And four, apparently, as you move further into your room and catch sight of yourself in the mirror, you did all this in your bra.

The morning light creeps into your room much faster than you feel necessary. Your head feels groggy as if every thought has to trek through mud to make an appearance. You rub your eyes and slowly open them, only to groan at the onslaught of the sunlight on your eyes.

You sit on the bed for another second, before the desire for coffee drags you out of it. You swing your body to the side standing up only to stumble. Why do your knees hurt so much?

You rack your brain for the possible reason for the bruises on them. You try to recall what happened last night before you .

You were making your notes when… o shit Jungkook.

You hurriedly walk out of your room, stopping at his door. You listen intently for any sign of him being in there, but you're only met with silence. Maybe you should go in, but you feel like that would be crossing a line, and you’re sure that if something was wrong he would have called for you. Or well you hope he would. So instead you continue to the kitchen.

Your sight is set on the coffee maker, it shines like a glowing beckon for your tired brain. You reach for it turning it on when you suddenly stop and backtrack. There on the black counter is one of your favourite cups filled with now lukewarm coffee. The coffee however isn’t what makes you smile. It’s the sticky note stuck to it. The letters were clearly written carefully, forming two words. Thank you.

You remove the neon pink note and stick it on the wall where it contrasts nicely with the white tile.

You wonder where your roommate is, it feels too quiet in the apartment for him to be home. Usually, there would be noise coming from his room. Games or something, but now there is absolute silence, which means he’s probably not home. You know he didn’t die through the night though because the coffee isn’t cold, so there is that to at least calm your anxious mind. You just hope that wherever he is, he is not tearing his stitches.

You take a sip of the coffee and wrinkle your nose at the bitter liquid. You can’t blame him that he doesn’t know to put sugar in your coffee. You drink it nonetheless, you can’t have the gesture go to waste.

You smile as you catch sight of the note again, picking up a sticky note, from the pile you usually use for grocery lists you write a quick “my pleasure” on it. Something feels missing though, so without thinking about it twice you add a small “Don’t die” at the bottom, hoping he would appreciate it. You stick it on his bedroom door to make sure he sees it as you head past to get dressed because you just realised that you are late, very late.

You don’t think you’ve ever gotten ready so fast. Your exciting 3 am seemed to have impacted your sleep a little bit too much and now you’re going to be late for class if you don’t leave. You barely remember to lock the door. Your last thought before you rush to the elevator is that Jungkook better not bleed out through the day.

“No mom I’m fine, I just had a bad day.” You have your phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder as you talk to your mom while walking through the aisles of the convenience store.

“No, there is nothing you can do mom, I’m just getting chocolate, and then heading home.” You bend down finally finding what you were looking for.

You had a very bad day, classes have been killing you inside, and today of all days your professor just had to call on you with a question you didn’t know the answer to. The embarrassment and your group’s decision to work on an assignment till late have mixed together to make you feel drained and just completely over today.

“Yeah, I’ll be safe,” You pack your things on the counter for the cashier to ring up. “Okay love you too.” You finally hang up. You don’t know how your mom just knew to call you but hearing her voice made you feel better.

“Bad day?” The man asks you while packing everything into a bag for you.

“That obvious huh?” You ask handing over the money.

“The amount of chocolate might have given it away.” He smiles and you blush and nod taking the bag that he hands over.

“Hey if you’re not busy later,” He continues before you can leave. “Maybe I can try to make your day better.”

You stare at him shocked, did he just ask you out on a date?

“O, uhm…” You’re not sure what to say, obviously you don’t want to go out with him but you don’t know how to turn him down.

“It’s alright I think the uhm… chocolate will do the job.” You say awkwardly, “Besides I can’t tell if you're an axe murderer.” He stares at you and you cringe inwardly, that might not have been the best way to turn him down. You guess after all the joking with Jungkook you forgot how people react when you say things like that.

So leaving the situation you turn and walk out the door without waiting to see if he’ll reply.

Blushing hard you walk down the street. How do some people react so well to your humour and others just don’t? Or well you guess only one person reacts well. But you mean you do have a point, he could be a serial killer or something, maybe it just wasn’t the best thing to say it out loud, to his face.

It’s already dark, but your apartment is only a block away so you decide to just walk instead of waiting for a bus. It’s a nice night out, not too hot or cold and the fresh air isn’t something you get enough of, so you continue down the street.

There aren’t many people out and soon a strange feeling of being watched takes over you. You turn around to look behind you but there is only a couple following you down the sidewalk. You breathe out, nothing to worry about. That is until they cross the street and the sound of footsteps behind you makes you aware of someone else following you.

Just relax Y/n it’s probably just another person like you walking home, you’re just being paranoid, that’s all, you try to convince yourself. But the feeling of being watched doesn’t disappear and you start walking faster. Your heart rate speeds up when the footsteps start becoming faster as well. You refuse to look back and let the person know you’re aware of them so you keep your head down and walk even faster. The footsteps are closer now and you can see an alley coming up. You’re just about to make a run for it across the street not caring if you’re jaywalking or looking foolish when a figure comes out of nowhere from the side.

You freeze in fear but when the light falls over the stranger's face you relax. It’s Jungkook.

“Hey what are you doing here?” You ask breathing out a sigh of relief and look back over your shoulder only to see the man that was walking behind you cross the street.

“I uh… got off of work early and saw you walking so I thought I’d join you,” Jungkook replies following the man with his eyes before he smiles and takes the bag out of your hand and carries it for you.

“O, well thank you.” You say falling into step beside him.

“Did you do grocery shopping?” He peeks into the bag and immediately starts laughing. “I guess not.” He chuckles.

“I had a bad day okay,” You go to rip the bag from his hand but he moves it out of your grasp, swatting away your hand.

“So your reaction is to buy half of the store’s chocolate?” He teases, smiling at you.

You cross your arms over your chest defensively. “Yes, it is a coping mechanism.”

He just giggles and the sound makes you stare at him, you’ve never heard him giggle before and it almost makes you want to laugh. You survey the way he’s limping a bit to the side of his injury making a mental note to check on it.

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive.” You state without thinking and he frowns for a second before realisation seems to dawn on him and he nods.

“I was planning on dying but then I saw your note and decided against it.” He smiles referring to the sticky note you left him. “I didn’t want to disobey my doctor’s orders.”

“Good, because that would really have tainted my reputation,” You state straight-faced, “ letting someone die before even graduating imagine.”

“Yeah, that would have been bad for you.” He agrees nodding profusely causing you to chuckle.

You fall into silence, and you breathe in the fresh air deeply, glad that he showed up so you don’t have to be so paranoid.

“Y/n.” He breaks the silence with a serious tone of voice. You look at him, his face is just as serious as his voice. “You shouldn’t be walking alone.”

You sigh. “I know I just really wanted chocolate.” You try to justify your actions even if the excuse sounds lame to your own ears.

“Next time, call me okay,” You frown at him unsure of what he’s saying. “I’ll bring you chocolate.”

You’re taken aback by his words. He’s offering to bring you chocolate so that you don’t have to walk at night?

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You mumble not knowing what else to say. You didn’t expect him to say something like that, you guess maybe the fact that you two seemed to be able to have a whole conversation made it easier for him to talk to you or maybe it made it easier for you. He does seem much more approachable than he use to. He always came across as cold, but now you guess you’re seeing his true personality coming out to you and you like it, or maybe he hit his head last night as well.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day.” He tries to keep the conversation going and you look at him in surprise. Jip, he definitely hit his head. But you don’t want to be rude so you answer.

“It’s okay.”

You reach your apartment door without saying another word, but the silence wasn’t awkward like you expected it was more like a comfortable one.

“Careful,” he muses when walking into the apartment, “The rug is wet.” He says it almost sheepishly but plays it off as nonchalantly as he can.

You look down to find the rug wet and the bloodstain now a mere trace of pink.

“You cleaned it?” You say in wonder, stepping over it so as not to get your socks wet.

“Yeah I know you said you like modern art but I assumed you were joking.” He puts the bag down on the counter. “Unless you weren’t in which case I can bleed on it again.”

You laugh at his serious face and it morphs into a smile.

“That’s okay.” You giggle, before saying very seriously, “Please don’t do that.” He nods.

You survey the way he is standing gripping onto his side.

“How are you doing? With the injury and all?” You ask trying to tread lightly in case he becomes defensive like some people do when asked.

To your surprise, he grimaces, “I was hoping you could maybe take a look at it?”

“Yeah of course.” You nod a bit flattered that he asked.

You lead him to the bathroom and instruct him to stand by the sink, that way you can easily throw the dirty gauze somewhere other than the coffee table.

“Uhm you have to take off your shirt.” You say awkwardly, fidgeting in your med kit even though you already have the supplies you need in hand.

You see movement in your peripheral vision and you turn around, blushing a bit at the sight of him without a shirt. Of course, you’ve always known he’s handsome. When you first met him you thought he must be some kind of demigod, with his sharp jawline and pretty eyes, so seeing him now you gulp. You saw him without a shirt last night but that was while you were panicking. Now it takes a moment for your brain to stop going haywire.

“Right uhm…” You clear your throat and the ghost of a smirk crosses his face.

“Aren’t you going to take yours off again?” He teases and your blush deepens, burning your cheeks.

“O uhm…” You stammer over your words.

“I’m joking, I know it was because you needed to stop the bleeding,” he reassures you, poking you on the nose and bending down a bit to look you in the eye. “Stop blushing.” He adds when he sees how flustered you look.

“It’s not really something I can control.” You mumble and unwrap his bandages. You’re very close to him, you can feel his body heat radiating off of him and you can’t help but wonder if he has a fever.

“You’re really hot.” You say without thinking and he stares at you in surprise lifting an eyebrow at your statement before you realise what you said. “I didn’t mean…uhm you feel warm, I’m scared you may have a fever.” You stammer to try and explain yourself.

“No don’t worry I usually run warm.” He says to calm you down and you just nod, sticking a thermometer in his mouth anyway even if it just to keep him from teasing you any further.

You can feel his eyes on you as you check his stitches. They are still intact so you can stop worrying about that at least. You disinfect the wound again before putting on the fresh dressing.

The beeping of the thermometer comes and a moment later he’s handing it to you.

“See no fever.” He triumphantly states and you look at the normal temperature flashing on the device.

“Well, then I guess…” You’re cut off by his phone ringing and he immediately picks it up.

“Yeah Hyung.” He answers and you turn away to put everything back into your medkit.

“I know I’m sorry but it was an emergency.” You frown. You don’t mean to eavesdrop but it’s kind of hard not to when he’s standing right next to you.

“I’ll be right there,” He nods while the person on the phone continues to speak. He moves to the side to give you access to the sink and you remove the gauze from it, to throw it away. “Yeah okay bye.” He hangs up.

“I have to go.” He states and you frown.

“I thought you were off tonight?” You remember he said that when he joined you on the street.

“Yeah but uhm… something came up, they need my help.” He pulls his shirt over his head again, letting a hiss through his teeth at the movement.

“O okay.” You don’t know what you were expecting. Him to be home tonight and what? You two sitting on the couch watching a movie or something? That is absurd. Just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you’re suddenly friends.

“Thank you for this.” He gestures to the medkit and you nod before he hastily leaves the bathroom. A few seconds later you hear the front door close, the “my pleasure” still on your tongue.

The heart is enclosed in the pericardium, which’s main function is to protect it and prevent it from over-expanding. The pericardium is

“Take that Jungkook!“

The pericardium is attached to the diaphragm and inner surface

“I will end you Jimin!”

The inner surface of the

“Listen you little fuckers I am the king you will tremble before me.”

Of the

“Taehyung that’s cheating.”

The

“Ha, you losers I win again!”

“The sternum!” You finally snap. You’re trying to study but you’ve been on the same paragraph for the last 20 minutes. You push your chair back from the desk, the wheels scrapping on the floor due to the speed.

You can still hear them shouting at each other as you stomp down the hallway.

You know they’re playing a video game. Jungkook moved his gaming system out of his room a few weeks ago because according to him the wifi is better in the living room.

You round the corner only to find the three on the carpet. On the screen Taehyung’s name is on top of the board, the other two’s names following. Jimin is on Jungkook’s back, who is trying to strangle Taehyung. The scene may look scary but you roll your eyes. They do this all the time.

The first time you walked out of your room to find two strangers on your couch you almost had a heart attack, but Jimin and Taehyung made a big fuss about how they finally get to meet Jungkook’s roommate. Apparently according to them Jungkook has been talking about you a lot. Jungkook obviously denied it, to his hyungs amusement.

Since then Jungkook’s friends seem to be here every day. Jimin and Taehyung could basically be living here but Hoseok sometimes drops by too. You know there are others you haven’t met yet because you picked up on the same names mentioned often. You would ask why you haven’t met them if you didn’t already have your hands full with the two currently trying to beat up your roommate.

“Hey, guys?” Your voice makes them freeze, all three heads snapping to you. With their eyes on you now, you lose a bit of your fire. Surprisingly you’re more comfortable with them than most people, probably due to the close proximity, but sometimes when all three very handsome men look at you, you end up flustered. Unfortunately for you that seems to happen quite often seeing as you have been spending more time with Jungkook, which also means spending time with his friends.

“If you want to kill each other, do it somewhere else, please.” You roll your eyes, playing off your shyness by walking past them, feigning disinterest.

“Sorry Y/n” Jimin laughs, getting up from the carpet, and joining you in the kitchen before Taehyung or Jungkook can even move.

“Were you studying?” He asks, sitting on the counter and watching you make coffee for yourself.

“Yeah, I was.” You rub your eyes until you see stars, your eyes burning from looking at your laptop for so long.

“What were you studying?” Taehyung leans next to Jimin making sure you pay attention to both of them.

“The heart.” You don’t know why they both look at Jungkook who is leaning on the back of the couch watching you three before answering.

“O well I can’t help you with matters of the heart.” Jimin states and you frown, you didn’t think he would be able to help you.

“I can however help you with something else that doesn’t require the heart.” He smirks at you and your eyes widen at his suggestive sentence, you still can’t get used to Jimin’s casual flirty personality.

“Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice is deep and the way he says it sounds like a warning.

“I’m only joking Kookie,” Jimin and Taehyung smirk at the younger boy and Jungkook glares at them before rolling his eyes.

You look away from whatever is happening there and instead look at the now dubbed sticky note wall.

It started with Jungkook’s thank you note and evolved from there. Now, whenever you leave, you leave the other a note, usually including a ridiculous reminder like don’t die, watch out for cannibals, don’t step into fairy rings. Stupid stuff like that. You both get teased by Jimin and Taehyung about it, but neither of you have stopped. Maybe the smile that adorns your lips every time you find a note stuck to the door or a coffee cup, if it’s in the morning, makes you ignore the teasing. In your defence, Jungkook doesn’t seem deterred by it either.

“Well, I’m going back to studying, try and keep it down okay.” You declare to the three, who were unbeknownst to you having a whole non-verbal conversation. You take your coffee cup and walk back down the hallway.

“Y/n” You backtrack at your name being called.

“Yes, Jungkook.” You wait for him to say something, staring at him, and he just stares back at you for a moment before looking away and clearing his throat.

“Uhm…” He looks to his hyungs standing in the kitchen observing him. “Enjoy your studying.” He looks like he wants to kick himself, but you do not have time to dwell on it now.

“Thanks?” You tilt your head in confusion, getting a nod in return and walking to your room to finally finish the stupid heart, having to ignore the way yours is pounding from Jungkook’s eyes on you.

“That test was so easy. If anyone does badly they really shouldn’t be studying medicine.” Becky boasts walking next to you.

You wish she would disappear and go bother someone else but she clearly can’t take a hint. The test she is referring to was actually hard for you and now her words are starting to make you feel worse than you did when you were struggling through it. You shrink into yourself chewing on your lip.

She’s the type of person who does well in everything and likes gloating about it. She somehow decided that you were her friend and now you have to suffer through her long rants about how perfect she is and how everyone else isn’t, including you.

“O my god.” She suddenly interrupts herself and you look up wanting to see what caused it. “Who is he?” she asks and you frown in confusion following her gaze only to land on Jungkook.

He’s leaning on the wall next to the gate of the university talking on his phone. He’s dressed in all black as usual and his hair is falling into his face a bit. You understand why she reacted the way she did because he looks extremely hot, and not in the having-a-fever kind of way.

“He looks like he was sculpted by the gods wow.” Becky continues gushing. “Do you think I should ask for his number?”

“No.” The word escapes your mouth before you can stop it. For some reason, the thought of her asking out your roommate and him agreeing irks you a lot more than you thought it would. You’re sure it’s just because it’s Becky but the more you think about it the more it bothers you.

Becky however didn’t seem to hear you or maybe she is just ignoring you.

“I think I should.” She continues and you can feel yourself getting angry. “See he’s walking this way.” She sounds giddy about it, sure that he must have noticed her.

Jungkook, who hung up his call when he noticed you, is walking towards you two his smile fading when he sees the look on your face.

“Hi?” He phrases it like a question not sure why you’re looking like you want to murder someone.

“H…” You respond before getting cut off.

“Hey, my name is Becky.” She flips her hair over her shoulder and smiles at him.

“Yeah, uhm… hi.” He frowns and her smile falters. “I came to walk you home since it’s almost dark.” He explains himself to you turning away from the now seething girl.

“O, thank you.” You smile, feeling a little smug when you see the shocked expression on Becky’s face. He’s just about to reply when Becky worms her way in between you two again.

“O do you know her?” Her voice is high and she giggles, you roll your eyes. “We’re like best friends, I’m sure she must have mentioned me.”

“Not really.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at her and for the first time, you see him getting irritated. His eyes go narrow and he sucks in his cheeks a bit staring at her. She shrinks under the stare.

You’ve never understood why Jimin and Tae said that people are intimidated by Jungkook but now you do. You feel bad for Becky because you know under that stare you would be running for the hills. So you step in.

“Becky I’ll see you on Monday okay.” You step around her and take Jungkook by the arm pulling him away, leaving Becky speechless probably for the first time in her life.

You walk fast to get away from the awkward situation.

“Sorry about her, she’s just uhm…” You try to make an excuse for her, not really sure why you are trying to do so.

“Spoilt?” Jungkook offers and you laugh and nod.

“Basically yeah.” That’s definitely one way to describe her.

“Thank you for coming to pick me up.” You steer the conversation away from talking about her.

“No problem, I didn’t want you walking in the dark.” His calm and smiley demeanor is back and you breath a sigh of relief.

You walk beside him in silence for a moment. You just can’t seem to shake Becky’s words, she makes you feel so inadequate most of the time.

“So how was the test?” He asks pushing you to the side so that he can walk closest to the road.

You groan and he looks at you, worried.

“It was awful and she said it was so easy, you know which just makes me think well, that I’m not good enough.” You don’t know why you’re pouring your heart out but right now you just need someone to listen and recently that someone has become Jungkook.

“Wow wait.” Jungkook stops walking causing you to do the same. He places his hands on your shoulders forcing you to face him. “Y/n, you saved my life, stayed calm and stitched me up, not to mention all the times you’ve had to treat me since.” He’s right, he’s probably the clumsiest person you’ve ever met. Always coming home with bruises or cuts.

“I’m sure she’s never done that.” He continues, pushing your head up to look at him with a finger underneath your chin. “You are going to be a great doctor.” His face is serious but he gives you a light smile when you nod.

“Thank you Jungkook.” You smile at him, feeling better after the pep talk.

“What are friends for right.” He smiles again, using his one hand still on your shoulder to take your bag off of it. He flings it over his shoulder instead and starts walking again, and you follow.

It’s the first time you’ve heard him actually say that you two are friends, it makes you glad to know he feels as close to you as you do to him. The space that was there for the first six months of him living with you is now completely gone, erased by the weeks you’ve been spending time together.

“Does she do that often?” He wonders out loud and you know what he’s referring to.

“Yeah sometimes.” You admit looking to the side ashamed to admit how you let her get to you.

“Do you want me to kill her?” He says it with such a serious tone that you laugh at him.

“No, I think I’ll do it if it gets too much.” You joke and after a moment he laughs.

“And how would you dispose of her body hm?” He keeps the joke going and you pretend to think, placing your finger to your chin and tilting your head up.

“I’ll get you to do it for me.” You declare pointing to him. He laughs shaking his head.

“No, your kill, your responsibility.” He says and you pout.

“That’s not fair.” The running joke of you finding a way to hide a body has been going on since the night of him almost bleeding out. You’ve been bringing up ways randomly but he shoots them down every time.

“How about a woodchipper?” You ask, already expecting his head to shake.

“Wouldn’t work, you know how strong a human body is, it’ll only cause a mess, and leave too much evidence.” He explains and you groan.

“How do you know all this?” You ask, glaring at him in feigned suspicion.

“Call it an educated guess.” He smiles and nudges you only to pull you out of the way of a pole a second later because you were still staring at him.

“I think you spend too much time thinking about this.” You huff, crossing your arms across your chest.

“Like you don’t.” He retorts and you gasp.

“Only because of you.” You exclaim, throwing your hands up.

“Besides,” he continues, “It’s fun to see your reaction when you're wrong, you don’t like being wrong.” he elaborates.

You pout again. “Does anyone?” You glare at him but he laughs at you.

“I guess not no.” He relents and you smile.

You look at him waiting for him to say something. You marvel in the way the last rays of sunshine bounces off his dark hair, painting his facial features in a soft glow.

He looks at you suddenly, you gasp and look away embarrassed at being caught staring at him. He chuckles and you cringe, looking down as you walk.

“Y/n?” He asks and you look at him only to find him not next to you but behind you standing still. “Where are you going?” he chuckles and you blush when you realise you just walked past your apartment building too busy chastising yourself for staring at him.

“O right.” you chuckle, trying to hide your blush from him.

He opens the building door for you and you enter.

“I was thinking we could watch…” You trail off when you realise he isn’t following you in.

“You’re not coming up?” You guess and he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I have to go, sorry.” He apologises but you nod taking your bag from him.

He always has to leave, you’d think you’d be used to it by now but you always find yourself feeling disappointed because you can’t spend more time together. It’s a new feeling for you, being upset because you can’t spend time with someone. Usually, you’re upset when you have to.

“Okay, be safe.” You say sheepishly.

“Thanks, we can watch whatever you were going to say next time okay?” You nod and he walks off.

You stand there a minute looking at his retreating back before you turn to the elevator.

The elevator takes forever and when it finally does arrive you are horrified at what you find inside.

A stranger.

Shyly you walk in.

“What floor?” The man asks and you press your floor button instead of answering.

“Hi, I’m Damion.” You sigh, he’s the type to talk in elevators then.

“I’m Y/n.” You mumble, but he caught it.

“Hello Y/n, I’m new to the building, maybe you can show me around some time?” He says and his straightforwardness catches you off guard.

“O uhm…” You rack your brain for an excuse, wishing for the elevator to speed up. “I would but I’m very busy maybe you should ask someone else.”

“It’s alright I’ll wait for when you have time, Y/n.” He says confidently. You know he is just being persistent but for some reason the way he says your name gives you a bad feeling.

You’re saved from answering by the doors opening on your floor.

“Goodnight.” You say and try to rush out of the elevator away from him, but he grabs your arm stopping you. Your eyes grow wide and you look down at the hand encasing your wrist.

“See you around.” He says and lets you go, with a smile.

You immediately run out and only let out a sigh of relief when you lock your apartment door behind you. You shudder when you remember his gaze on you but it’s quickly pushed from your mind when your eyes land on the sticky note stuck to the door.

“Enjoy your evening, try not to get kidnapped by elves.” You laugh and stick it to the sticky note wall.

By the time you get into bed, the only memories playing in your head are of Jungkook’s face as he laughs. Your creepy neighbour is pushed from your mind.

Your back is killing you. You woke up seconds ago and found yourself not on your comfy bed but rather on your desk chair. You feel something sticking to your face and you wipe at it lazy. One of your pages of notes floats down onto the desk and you sigh. You haven’t slept more than five hours in the past three days and you can feel your head pounding from the lack of sleep. The past few weeks have been a blur of tests and classes so you haven’t had a day off. You look at your phone to find a few missed calls from your mom. You’ll have to call her back later after you’ve had coffee.

You slowly get up, stumbling a bit and having to support yourself on the wall. That’s how you walk to the kitchen leaning on the wall the entire time. You miss the three heads that turn to you, too focused on trying to keep yourself upright.

“Morning.” Jungkook’s voice breaks through the muddled thoughts in your brain. You groan in response, leaning against the counter to try and catch your breath. Was the walk to the kitchen always this tiring?

“Are you making coffee? ” Taehyung asks getting up from his spot on the couch, eager for a cup of his own.

“Yeah just give me a second.” You reply working up the courage to walk to the coffee maker a few steps away. You feel very dizzy.

“Hey, are you okay?” Taehyung asks, stepping closer to get a look at your very pale face.

“I’m fine.” No, you’re not but non the less you still have some studying to do and you have class in an hour. So you push away from the counter but as soon as you do you stumble and everything goes a bit hazy for a second.

“Wow okay.” Taehyung rights you with a very worried look on his face, the other two have stopped their game and are now staring at you in worry.

Jungkook jumps over the back of the couch and makes his way to you, replacing Tae’s arm around you. He is frowning at you and places his hand on your forehead.

“Holly shit Y/n you have a fever.” He exclaims, but you groan at the information.

“No I can’t have a fever,” You push away from him but immediately almost fall over, being caught again by Jungkook.

“Y/n I think you’re sick,” Jungkook says softly and you shake your head.

“I can’t be sick,” You feel like crying, “I have a class to get to.” You’re in denial, you know you’re sick but being sick right now is a big inconvenience. Becky has been boasting about how much she is studying and how prepared she is for the tests, you’ve been trying to keep up.

“Hey come on,” Taehyung says. “ Jungkook why don’t you help her sit down and I’ll make her some tea.” You still shake your head but gasp in surprise when you’re lifted off the floor by Jungkook. He carries you bridal style to the couch and gently puts you down where Jimin has made room for you.

“I can’t guys I have to go to class.” You protest making to get up again but you’re held down by Jungkook’s hands.

“Y/n your sick, you’re not going to class.” Jungkook orders. Why is his doctor’s voice better than yours?

“I’m fine okay, let me go.” You remove his hands from your shoulder.

“Clearly.” Jimin pipes up and you glare at him. “All I’m saying is, that if you go to class you’ll probably pass out along the way, and what then?”

“Then Jungkook will have to put his body hiding skills to work.” You state. The other two frown in confusion at Jungkook but he just shakes his head.

“I can’t do that, it’ll be too noticeable if I’m seen carrying you off of the street,” He smiles at you, leans in and tilts his head to the side a bit, “Too risky you know?” He whispers, and you look up at him, he’s frowning slightly at you in worry. You’ve gotten closer to Jungkook than you would have ever thought possible. He’s become a constant in your life like you never thought you’d experience and definitely not with your once elusive roommate. He’s the one you run to after a bad day and he always listens intently to your rants

“Besides what is going to happen if you miss one class?” Taehyung asks, making you tear your gaze away from Jungkook as Tae hands you a cup of tea that you wrinkle your nose at.

“I don’t know I’ve never missed a class.” You say frowning at the shocked expression on their faces.

“You’ve never missed a class?” Jimin asks in disbelief and you nod.

“Wow, just wow.” Taehyung shakes his head.

“Then I feel like this is a good excuse to miss one,” Jungkook states and pushes the cup of tea closer to your face, prompting you to drink but you grimace and shake your head.

“I have to go Jungkook.” You fight back. “I won’t be able to stand her if I miss a class and get a bad mark.”

“Who?” Taehyung frowns but Jungkook nods already knowing who you’re talking about.

“Is that why you’ve been overworking yourself?” He asks in concern and you nod your head slowly, looking away from him.

“Y/n,” Jungkook kneels in front of you so you're at eye level. “ You can’t let her get to you, you know she’s just trying to tear you down.”

“I know but still…” You trail off unsure how to voice your thoughts.

“Tell you what if you promise to stay home and rest,” Jungkook empathizes the last word, “ Then I’ll help you study okay?”

“We’ll help you study.” Jimin corrects him, already disliking whoever it is that is making you feel inferior.

“Sounds like a bad bargain.” You reply and cross your arms, but you know there is no getting out of it.

You know Jungkook well enough by now to know that when he puts his mind to something there is no turning back. You once saw him try to fit a whole orange in his mouth because Hobi dared him to. And if you’re honest with yourself even though you know that they won’t be able to help you study the fact that they offered to makes you feel all warm inside.

They all hold their breath ready to fight more but you sigh, leaning back onto the couch.

“Fine.” Is all you say and they relax.

“Keep an eye on her in case she makes a run for it.” Jungkook jokes poking your nose, before getting up.

“Yeah like she’ll be able to run in her condition,” Taehyung replies sitting down on the couch next to you.

You look around the room. Your apartment has become if you had to describe it, lively. Before the “shared” space in the apartment was clean and cold but since you and Jungkook have become closer the space shows that two people live here. Your textbooks and cups are on the coffee table where you were making notes while he played games, and two of his hoodies are thrown into the blanket basket because he was too lazy to put them away. The blanket that Jimin throws over your shoulders also belongs to Jungkook. It’s a thick fluffy blanket that you’ve been stealing from his room to lay on the couch with since you found out it existed. After a while, he just stopped taking it back to his room.

“Here you go.” Jungkook kneels in front of you with freshly made coffee, that you eagerly exchange the cup of tea for. He chuckles and place the cup of tea on the coffee table. You wonder how he knew to make you coffee.

“Thank you.” You clutch onto the warm cup and sink further into the couch. Jungkook sits down beside you and Taehyung takes a spot on the floor picking up the controllers they abandoned, and handing it back to them.

They continue playing their game, on a much lower volume, while you slowly drink your coffee. It’s black coffee. You used to drink it with milk and sugar but every time Jungkook made you coffee he made it black. At first, you didn’t want to say anything feeling too awkward but now you actually prefer it the way he makes it.

You never thought you would be this comfortable with people around in your apartment but their presence is soothing. You guess you’ve never realised how lonely you were before, now you recognise when they’re not here and especially at night when Jungkook is gone you can feel his absence. You still don’t like being around people but maybe the man sitting next to you checking every few minutes if you’re okay, putting his hand on your forehead to check your fever, is the exception.

The warm drink and background noise of the game and their voices are lulling you to sleep. You feel one of them remove the coffee cup from your hand as you fall to the side, onto Jungkook, your tired body finally finding the time to rest, and recover.

You wake up a few hours later. Your head feels foggy, your entire body hurts and you feel all hot and cold at the same time. You hear a voice coming from somewhere but they’re not talking to you so you keep your eyes closed and try to make out what is being said.

Jungkook is speaking in a hushed voice probably to try and not wake you. “I know hyung but I can’t just leave her.” You frown, is he talking about you?

“Jimin and Tae said they’ll take over for me today.” You can hear him pacing while he hums in acknowledgement at whatever the other person is saying. “Thank you hyung, will you ask Jin-hyung about the food?” You are getting very hot now, it’s like a hot tingle traveling through your body and you kick the blanket off you, sighing at the rush op cold air that envelops you.

“Hey,” Jungkook’s voice is right beside you, “you awake?” You must have not heard him hang up the call.

You slowly open your eyes, and you're met with his worried face. His hair is disheveled as if he has been tugging at it and in your fever hazed mind you reach out a hand to flatten it. He doesn’t acknowledge it and instead puts his hand on your forehead.

“You’re still very hot.” He frowns and bites his lip in worry but you laugh.

“Good to know I still got it.” You joke, but the words hurt your dry throat.

He picks up a glass of water on the coffee table that he must have put there earlier and hands it to you. “You have to drink all of this okay?” He gives you a stern look.

“Okay doctor.” You sass but take the glass anyway and start sipping. As soon as the water touches your lips however you can’t stop drinking, realising how thirsty you actually are, you gulp down the whole glass.

Jungkook stares at you in surprise. “Wow do you want some more?”

“No thank you, I think I’ll be okay.” You smile and readjust yourself to sit up.

Jungkook sticks his hand out stopping you. “Wait I don’t think you should get up just yet.”

You shake his hand off. “I’m fine Jungkook.” You roll your eyes at him and sit up. “see I’m completely fine I can even,” You stand up, but as soon as you’re up you see stars, your vision goes black and you fall into Jungkook’s arms.

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that yeah?” He laughs and you hit him playfully in the chest. “Don’t laugh.”

“How can I not when you’re being so stubborn.” He puts you back onto the couch and you pout.

“Don’t pout.” He smiles but you only pout more causing him to laugh. “You’re cute when you’re sick,” he teases and you look away from him crossing your arms.

“I’m not that sick.” You retort but you know you’re lying. Your head is pounding and everything hurts.

“Well in that case I’ll just return all this medicine that I got,” you nod and he gets up walking away but then he turns back, “ and I guess all the chocolates too.”

You swing around to look at him. He’s already smirking at you, getting the reaction he clearly wanted from you.

“You got chocolate?” You glare at him in suspicion.

“Yes and you can have some,” You smile wide but he holds up a finger, “after you eat some food.”

“Chocolate is food.” You retrot. Even though the thought of chocolate is alluring, the thought of food makes you feel nauseous.

Jungkook shakes his head crossing his arms over his chest, but just as he wants to reply there is a knock at the door.

You frown in confusion but Jungkook opens it with a smile.

“Hyung you're here faster than I expected.” Jungkook says to whoever is at the door and you lean over to see, expecting Jimin or Taehyung but the man that is standing in the doorway makes you gasp. He is so handsome it almost hurts. “I was already on the way when Namjoon called you.”

“This must be Y/n?” The stranger says noticing you before smiling. You openly stare at him and Jungkook clears his throat raising his eyebrows at you. You start at being caught and a blush rises in your face.

“Yes this is Y/n.” Jungkook says amused at your reaction. “Y/n this is Jin, he’s my oldest Hyung.”

You nod, “hi,” you cringe. You sound so stupid.

“Well here is the food Kookie.” Jin hands Jungkook a bag, “I need to get going, but it was nice meeting you Y/n.” He waves and you wave back awkwardly. He laughs and ruffles Jungkook’s hair before walking away.

“So that was Jin.” Jungkook smiles taking the food to the counter.

“He’s uhm very…”

“Handsome?” Jungkook offers and you groan.

“I didn’t mean to stare I promise.” You bite your lip but Jungkook laughs.

“It’s okay everyone has the same reaction, I promise he’s more flattered than anything else.” He chuckles and you cringe.

You really need to get a grip on yourself but you just don’t understand why all these handsome men are suddenly popping up in your life. It’s like someone is playing a stupid joke on you.

“Here you go.” Jungkook hands you a bowl of food that you wrinkle your nose at. “You have to eat.” Jungkook press but you shake your head.

“I really don’t want to.” You pout and he sighs.

He bites his lip. “Just a few bites.” You don’t budge.

“Please?” He pouts and holds up a spoon full of rice. You frown before rolling your eyes and taking a deliberate bite.

He smiles in victory. You have no idea why you gave in to him. You would blame it on your fever but you’re pretty sure you would have given in even if you weren’t as sick as you are. You take another bite that he holds for you.

“I can eat by myself you know.” You say after you swallow.

He chuckles. “I’m not taking a chance.” He lifts up another spoon full and you look him in the eye as you let him feed you.

He gets happier after every bite until finally you hold up your hand.

“I can’t eat anymore,” and he nods understanding, putting the bowl down on the table. You pull your knees closer to you and wrap the blanket around yourself getting cold again.

“How do you feel?” Jungkook asks putting his hand on your forehead. “You’re still very warm, if your fever hasn’t broke in a few hours I’m gonna take you to the hospital okay?”

You nod, feeling yourself falling asleep again. “Okay.” You lay down on your side. “Will you stay?”

Jungkook smiles softly and nods, “Yeah of course.” He strokes some hair form your face. “I’ll stay.”

You hum contently and fall into unconsciousness.

A ruckus in the kitchen wakes you up. You immediately shoot upright in bed, your body on high alert. You listen again but it’s quiet now. You pick up your phone looking at the time. It’s just past three in the morning, you should still be alone.

You debate calling Jungkook for a second but push the thought aside, you’d only feel stupid doing it, besides you don’t want to disturb him. He went out with his friends for the night, it’s the weekend after all so he is off work but he told you he’d be crashing at Jimin’s place. So instead you get out of bed and tiptoe to your door. You press your ear to it trying to listen for any movement but there is nothing.

You chew on your lip and decide to investigate. If this was a horror movie the whole audience would be yelling at you now.

You creep down the hallway and peek around the corner to look at the kitchen. The lights are on and you see Jungkook digging around in the fridge. You laugh at yourself for being paranoid.

The sound startles Jungkook and he spins around to face you. His face relaxes when he sees you and it morphs into a lopsided grin.

“Hey, did I wake you? Sorry.” He pouts and your eyes widen in surprise at him but you just shake your head walking to the kitchen island.

“What are you doing back?” You ask leaning over the counter to see what he was doing. “I thought you were sleeping at Jimin’s?”

“No, I wanted to come home because…” He is cut off by a hiccup. You look at him, he is leaning a bit to one side as if he is off balance and his eyes look glassy.

“Jungkook are you drunk?” You giggle when he shakes his head profusely, the movement causing him to grimace and fall a bit to one side, only to catch himself in time.

“No, I am not.” His words are a bit slurred and you laugh again.

“Then why are you rummaging through our fridge at three in the morning?” You ask lifting an eyebrow.

He opens his mouth as if to say something but he closes it again with a frown, unable to come up with an excuse.

“I wanted ramyun.” He says after an embarrassingly long time, through which you were giggling.

“Well, you’re not going to find it in the fridge.” You state and watch in amusement when he frowns and points to the cupboard, looking at you for approval.

“Sit down I’ll make you some.” You chuckle and move to the cupboard getting out the packet.

“Thank you.” He drawls out and sits down on the bar stool.

“I just don’t want to have to treat burn wounds tonight.” You explain and smile at him, which he returns with a grin.

You boil the water and look behind you to find him spinning on the stool. He stops when he feels you looking at him and he grins lopsidedly.

“I missed you.” He says and you frown. “I didn’t see you at all this week.” He pouts and you giggle at the expression. He looks so cute.

He’s right this week you’ve been missing each other the entire time. You had another group assignment and had to work in the library with them the entire day. When you finally got home he was already gone. His words do surprise you but you brush it off as nothing more than drunk rambling.

“I missed you too.” You say and he gasps in surprise.

“You did?” He sounds like a child that was just told something unbelievable, and it makes you laugh.

“Yeah, we’re friends right?” That word has been starting to leave a bitter taste in your mouth recently, and you have an idea why, but you keep pushing it down. There is no reason to be thinking like that part of you wants to think. “Friends miss friends.” You finish, turning back to the food you’re making.

“You’re right, I miss my hyungs when I don’t see them for a long time.” He rambles on behind you. “I think it’s because we all used to live together, but now I live here of course with you, right?” He sounds unsure and you chuckle.

“Yes, you do.” You confirm it for him.

“Okay great.” He sounds pleased about it.

He babbles on about stupid things while you cook, telling you about his night. He mentions a few girls that came up to him and you prickle a bit every time but he always rambles on not mentioning them again.

Finally, you turn around and hand him the bowl of food that he takes with a smile. You lean on the other side of the counter watching him eat.

“This is amazing,” he exclaims in between bites. “If this doctor thing doesn’t work out, you should become a chef.”

“You only say that because you’re drunk.” You explain with a laugh but he shakes his head, cheeks full of food.

The conversation dies down while he eats. You move around cleaning up and filling up a bottle with water for him to drink. You place it down beside his now-empty bowl.

“You have to drink all of this now okay?” You say in your doctor's voice and he groans.

“All of it?” He says in disbelief and you smile.

“Yes or else you’ll have a nasty hangover tomorrow.” He nods and picks up the bottle, you laugh at his dramatic show of drinking the whole thing.

“I like it when I make you laugh,” he says when he’s finished and you blush. He stares at you.

“I like it when you blush too.” He adds and you blush even more.

“I blush too easily when I’m with you.” You admit and he gets up to put the water bottle in the sink. He comes back without a word and stands next to you.

“Here.” He places his cold hands on your cheeks. “To cool them down.” He smiles and you gasp at the contact.

Another thing you’ve come to notice since becoming friends with him, other than that you felt lonely before is just how incredibly touch-starved you are. He is so casual with his touches, always hugging you or sitting close to you and you realised how much you’ve been missing human contact. You can admit to yourself the fact that it is coming from him does also impact the effect it has.

“There see all better.” He removes his hands and you cringe at how quickly you miss the contact.

He is standing very close to you, your chests almost touching and the realisation makes you blush again.

“O no, Y/n.” He moans and places his hands back onto your cheeks, stepping even closer. “You’re ruining my handy work.” He whispers.

You stare at him. He is so beautiful and you’ve never been so close to him before. His eyes are shining and his lips are pink and look so soft. You pull your eyes away from his lips only to find him staring at yours.

You bite your lip at the attention and he frowns moving his finger down to pull your bottom lip out from under your teeth.

“You shouldn’t do that.” His voice sounds huskier now and it makes your heart race.

“Why not?” You ask him softly.

“Because it makes me want to do this.” He says before leaning in slowly.

You stop breathing, your heart racing and you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips falling onto yours.

Just when you can feel his breath breezing over your lips, a door slams shut somewhere, breaking you out of the trance you were in.

You back away from Jungkook. You were just about to kiss him! You were about to kiss him and he is drunk! You chastise yourself, missing the hurt that crosses his face.

“I uhm… I think I should go back to bed.” You stammer out and rush out of the kitchen to your room.

You close the door behind you and sink to the floor with your back to it. You can’t believe you were about to take advantage of his drunkenness and why? Because you have a bit of a crush on him? It’s disgusting. You rake your fingers through your hair and focus on calming your racing heart. The blush is burning through your cheeks and you place your own hands-on them to cool it down.

You can only hope he won’t remember tonight.

“And that is the last time I’m asking your dad to make Lasagna.” You laugh and take a sip of your coffee. The café is buzzing with activity and your mom just finished filling you in on the antics your family have been up to since you last saw them.

Your mom came to the city for work but her last meeting was canceled so you had time to get coffee with her. You watch her add more sugar to her coffee and laugh. She’s always had a sweet tooth. You got yours from her.

“Do you want some?” She holds out the sugar pot to you after seeing you eye her coffee, but you shake your head.

“No thanks, I drink my coffee black now.” You watch her surprised face and giggle.

“Who are you and what have you done to my daughter?” She clutches her hand to her chest and you shake your head at her dramatics, smiling widely.

You’ve really missed her. You’ve always been close to your family, even if they drive you crazy. Even your little sister, who couldn’t be more different from you, always on the sports field, but despite your differences you’ve always loved her terribly.

“I just like it like this now.” You explain and she narrows her eyes at you in suspicion but eventually shrugs.

“How have you been honey?” she asks leaning forward with a caring look on her face.

“I’m doing good,” you smile and when your mom doesn’t seem convinced you place your hand on hers. “I really am mom.”

“Are you sure? You look like there is something bothering you, not to mention you look like you haven’t slept in a month.” Her voice becomes stern at the last part and you roll your eyes.

“You sound like Jungkook.” The words just slip out and her eyes widen in surprise.

“Your roommate?” She asks and you nod your head.

“He’s always telling me I should sleep more.” Your mom nods.

“Well maybe you should listen to him he sounds like an intelligent young man.” She muses and you smile but at the thought of your roommate, your mood drops slightly.

After you almost kissed him a week ago there has been a small shift. Mostly things are the same but it’s like something is off. When you’re with his friends he’s his normal self but as soon as you are alone it’s like he becomes tense and soon finds an excuse to leave the room. He doesn’t seem to remember that night but you’re not so sure, why else would he behave like he is? Maybe he regrets almost kissing you and he is just pretending to not remember anything. You guess you should be glad he hasn’t brought up that night, it is what you hoped for after all. But it has left you more confused than anything else, why would he try to kiss you and then just not say anything after that?

“Earth to Y/n.” Your mom waves her hand in front of your face to get your attention.

“Sorry, mom, what were you saying?” You apologise. Pushing the thoughts bothering you away. You should be enjoying your time with your mom, not worrying about your relationship with Jungkook, whatever that may be.

“I was asking if Lilly told you she got first line for field hockey?” She surveys you worried while she repeats herself.

“O no she didn’t,” You smile trying to show your mom you’re okay. “You have to tell her I said I’m very proud of her.”

“I’ll tell her.” Your mom smiles. “She is very excited, she said she’s going to ask you to come to some of her games, you should try to come.”

“I will I promise.” You know it will be hard but for her, you will make a plan, maybe you can even invite Jungkook and his friends, she would love that. But as soon as the thought crosses your mind you dismiss it, you doubt Jungkook would want to come to anything with you right now.

The rest of the time you and your mom just talk about your studies and plans for after next year when you graduate and have to start your internship. You bask in the conversation until your mom’s phone rings, signally she has to head out.

“I love you, honey.” She hugs you tightly, “Make sure you eat well and try to get more sleep okay?”

“I promise mom.” You giggle in your mom’s embrace. She pulls away holding you at arm's length.

“We are so very proud of you, your dad loves boasting about you on a daily basis.” You both laugh. Your dad has always been the type to tell everyone about every small accomplishment that his daughters achieve.

“Thank you mom.” she pulls you into another hug just as her taxi stops outside. “Mom you have to go.” You giggle her hold not lessening on you.

“Just another second, I miss you.” She says and you hug her tighter.

“I miss you too mom.” She finally pulls away and with one last kiss on your cheek she gets into her taxi, waving at you as it drives off.

You sigh and sniff back the tears that threaten to fall. You shake your head and walk home.

You can already hear the sound of the movie from outside the door when you get home. You open the door to see Jimin and Taehyung spread out on the couch. Their heads turn to the door when you come in and they smile.

“Hey, Y/n.” They say in sync, you smile back, removing your boots.

“Hey guys, what are you watching?” You query closing the door.

“Some movie Taehyung chose.” Jimin sounds bored and Taehyung pouts.

“You told me I have to choose.” Taehyung defends himself.

“I expected you to choose something good,” Jimin says and is met with a pillow to the face in response.

You move to the kitchen filling up a glass of water.

“Where is Jungkook?” You ask when you notice that there isn’t a third person in front of the TV.

“O he went out,” Tae says not looking away from the TV.

“O” You feel disappointed before something dawns on you. “Wait if he isn’t here how did you get in?” You narrow your eyes in suspicion.

“O well…” Jimin and Tae look at each other.

“He let us in before he left,” Jimin says after a moment and you nod at the explanation.

“Do you want to join us?” Tae asks turning around on the couch to see you.

“No thanks guys, I have to study.” You shake your head and they groan.

“You always have to study. Come and hang out with us.” Jimin pleads and you have to giggle at his pout. You think about it for a moment, you don’t really want to study anyway.

“Fine.” You give in and they both smile making space for you on the couch in between them.

You walk over and sit down in the space. You lean back and make yourself comfortable.

“Here you can choose a new movie.” Jimin declares stealing the remote from Tae.

“Hey!” Tae exclaims before clearing his throat. “I mean sure Y/n you can choose a new movie.” He relents and you laugh but don’t take the remote from Jimin’s outstretched hand.

“I’m okay, making choices right now is only going to melt my brain.” You confess and Jimin nods.

“Okay, I’ll pick.” He says, exiting the movie and starts scrolling for a new one.

“So don’t you want to know where Jungkook is?” Jimin asks, a mischievous look in his eyes as he looks at you.

“Jimin.” Taehyung’s voice is stern but Jimin ignores him turning in his seat to face you.

“So do you want to know?” He asks again and you stare at him.

“Uhm… okay?” You look between Taehyung and Jimin, unsure about what’s going on.

“He’s on a date.” Jimin gossips surveying your face for a reaction and you stare at him in surprise.

“O…” You have to control your face to not show the disappointment that floods through you. “That’s good for him.” You say.

Jimin and Taehyung exchange a look.

“Does it bother you?” Taehyung asks and you look at him.

“Of course not why would it?” You ask surprised, your voice a little to high and Taehyung smirks.

“Just asking.” He turns back in his seat as Jimin’s movie choice starts playing.

You sink deeper into the couch and try to focus on the movie playing but your mind keeps going back to the information you just heard.

He’s on a date. It shouldn’t bother you, you’re friends you should be happy for him but you’re not. It hurts. If he’s on a date it means any feelings you deluded yourself into thinking he has for you aren’t real. You keep thinking about it throughout the movie and soon it morphs into anger. How dare he almost kiss you, not talk to you about it, borderline avoid you and then go on a date with someone else. The anger builds and by the time Jimin and Taehyung leave you are ready to scream.

You go to your room and try to cool down by focusing on studying, but you can’t. Every time your head goes back to imagining him with someone else and it makes you angry all over again. You finally give up on studying and just when you turn off your laptop you hear the front door open. You sit still for a minute weighing your options.

You can finally confront him about this and demand to know what is going on, why he tried to kiss you and smooth things over and go back to being friends. Or you can take the easy route out and just ignore him and things can back to how they were in the beginning. You frown, you know you don’t want that. You don’t think you’d be able to handle it if you never speak again, so instead, you get up.

He’s in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when you enter. He stops with the spoon halfway to his mouth when he spots you.

“Hi.” He says and uncomfortably looks around.

“Hi,” you say back, walking into the kitchen. His eyes follow you as you walk, chewing slowly.

“Well, I’m gonna uhm…” He trails off clearly looking for an excuse to leave but you interrupt him.

“Jungkook can we talk.” You ask and he looks at you in surprise.

“Uhm, sure.” He puts the bowl done. “About what?” He isn’t looking at you.

You mentally prepare yourself for what you’re about to say. You hate confrontation but you know you need to do this.

“About what happened when you were drunk.” You start and he looks at you.

“What do you mean?” He sounds confused but you know him well enough now to know when he is faking. “I can’t remember anything from that night.”

“Are you sure?” You ask, crossing your arms. “Because you say that but you’ve been borderline avoiding me for the past few weeks and I need to know why.”

“O well..” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I think you remember and I get if you regret almost kissing me, but you could have at least told me.” You continue not giving him time to try and explain himself. “Then I hear you went on a date, and I mean I get it you can do what you want, but you could at least have talked to me and set things straight and said you were just drunk and not just leave me confused as fuck.” You’re getting angry again and he stares at you in surprise.

“Wait a date?” Is that really all he got from that? You narrow your eyes at him, why is he playing stupid.

“Who said I went on a date?” He asks confused and you roll your eyes.

“Jimin told me.” You answer him, getting irritated now.

“Fucking Jimin,” he mumbles before looking at you. “Y/n I didn’t go on a date.”

“What?” You frown in confusion, caught off guard.

“Yeah, Jimin,” He moves closer so that he’s in front of you. “He must have told you to get you to confront me because he knows how I feel about you.”

Your mind reels, and you uncross your arms in surprise. “Wait what do you mean how you feel about me?”

He groans.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” He says, running his hands through his hair. “I was supposed to come to you like we practiced.” He says without thinking and you frown.

“Practiced?” You’re so confused.

“I also wasn’t supposed to say that.” He blushes, and sighs. “I practiced with them how to do this but I guess that isn’t going to happen.” He bites his lip.

“Jungkook what are you talking about.” You don’t understand what is going on.

He sighs again.

“Y/n I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you but I didn’t know how to say this, and after you pulled away that night I thought you didn’t feel the same and honestly I was scared of being rejected, I know I was being stupid, I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings.” He steps forward, explaining.

“I just like you a lot, I mean since I got to know you, you’ve been on my mind the entire time, and I thought being friends would be enough but then I got drunk and came home and you were here, I knew I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you but I just couldn’t stop myself you were right there and I couldn’t muster up the courage to do it sober, and then you pulled away and I felt awful for putting you in that situation and…” He rambles and you cut him off.

“Wow Jungkook, calm down.” You don’t even have time to process what he’s saying.

“How can I calm down?” He says, his face red from blushing and working himself up. “Fuck Y/n I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long.”

His words finally start to sink in and you can feel yourself getting hopeful but you have to make sure what he’s saying.

“Jungkook are you saying you like me?” You ask stupidly and he steps closer taking your face into his hands.

“God Y/n I like you so fucking much, you drive me crazy.” He breathes out leaning in closer and your heart soars, beating unhealthily fast. “Please tell me if you don’t feel the same because then I will stop right now.”

“Jungkook.” He rips his eyes away from your lips and looks you in the eye. “Kiss me.”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice.

Finally, his lips find yours, and your heart and mind go haywire. You’re sure if you were hooked up to a heart monitor it would be going crazy. His lips move against yours and his hands move from your face to your waist pulling you closer. You wind your arms around his neck, and push your hand into his hair, pulling slightly and you smile when you hear the small moan escape his throat. You relish in his soft lips on yours and you melt into his chest.

Finally, you pull away a few inches. You both breathe heavily, chests bumping into each other as they expand. He smiles joyously, before pecking you softly again.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”

“And I’ve wanted you to do that so long,” you confess and he smiles.

“Well in that case.” He leans in again and you gladly meet his lips halfway.

If the first kiss was sweet this one is intense. He moves his hands to the back of your thighs and picks you up. You gasp but wrap your legs around him before attaching your lips again. He carries you to the couch and lays you down on it softly without breaking the kiss. You make out until you feel like your lungs may implode from the lack of air, but even then you don’t pull away, his lips more of a necessity than oxygen. Your head spins, and you push him lightly making him pull away, but he catches your hand on his chest pinning it above your head.

“I’m not done with you just yet, princess.” His voice is husky and you groan.

“Holy shit finally.”

Both of your heads snap to the front door where Jimin and Tae are standing with bags of take-out in their hands.

You both scramble to sit up, Jungkook falling off of the couch in surprise.

Taehyung gapes at you and Jimin looks at you smugly.

You blush but the only thing that crosses your muddled brain is where the fuck did they get a key.

“A sewer?”

“Wrong”

“A lake?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh… just tell me.” You’ve been trying to guess the answer to this ongoing dispute and Jungkook has not given you even one hint.

“Where’s the fun in me telling you hmm?” He replies, where he is sitting behind you, his legs on either side of you.

You’re both on the couch, the TV casting a glow over the living room as you sit in the dark. It started with you watching a movie but when he finally came home it didn’t take 5 minutes until he pulled you into him, and started playing with your hair.

Ever since you two kissed and confessed, he’s been finding every excuse possible to have you as close as possible, it’s like he wants to be touching you at all times. One would think you’d mind but you definitely don’t.

“There I finished.” He proclaims happily, taking a picture and showing it to you.

On the screen is a very messy-looking french braid and you grimace in your mind at the untangling that is waiting for you later tonight, or is it later this morning?

“It looks great hey?” Jungkook asks for reassurance when you haven’t said anything. He looks so proud how can you not smile widely at him.

“It looks amazing Kookie.” You laugh, turning around fully and kissing him on the cheek.

You’ve both been making an effort to spend as much time together as possible. A very hard feat as he is away most of the day and night and you are studying most of the time. But you finally found the sweet spot just past 3 am. He tries to be home and you set an alarm to wake up in time.

It was one of the nights when he was late that you were sitting on the couch braiding your hair for lack of something else to do. He came walking in with a limp, he tripped and fell while chasing Jimin, you swear this boy is one of the clumsiest people you have ever met. When he saw you braiding your hair he immediately asked you to teach him. He’s still perfecting it, so he likes to practice as much as possible.

“I think I should grow my hair out,” He says, pulling on his hair as if it will become longer. “ Then I can braid my own hair.” The strands he was pulling fall into his face and he blows them away unsuccessfully.

“I think it’ll look cute if you did,” You push the hair out of his face, “ Then you can wear it in a lot of styles.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.” He smiles and takes your hand that was playing with his hair, turning it around and starts to pepper kisses on your palm.

“That tickles.” You try to pull away giggling but he just pulls you closer, until you are finally face level with him.

He cups your face softly and smiles, leaning in to kiss you. Your lips meet in a sweet soft kiss and you pull away after a few seconds. He follows with his lips and you giggle at him.

“That’s just mean.” He pouts and you smile, giving him a peck to make up for it.

Jungkook smiles widely, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tightly. He sighs in content.

“I never thought when I met you that I would be lucky enough to be able to do this.” You look at him only to see him smiling softly, as he leans his head on top of yours.

“ I also never thought you would be lucky enough.” You joke.

“Is that so huh?” He laughs wrapping his legs around you as he starts to tickle you. His finger dancing over your sides.

“Never be this lucky huh?” He laughs while you squeal from his tickling fingers, squirming to try and get away. But his legs and arms are locking you in.

“Okay, okay.” You exclaim trying to breathe through the laughter. He stops his fingers poised to attack again mere centimeters away from your sides.

“ What?” He leans closer so that his ear is right beside your mouth, “ i don’t think I heard you.”

“I said, okay, you were always going to be so lucky.” You lay it on thick and he seems pleased, laughing at you.

He hums wrapping his arms tightly around you and pulling you into his chest.

“ Of course you wouldn’t be bale to resist my charms.” He kisses the top of your head when you scoff. “But truth is I would never have been able to resist yours.” You can feel his lips stretch into a smile on top of your head and it causes you to smile.

Your phone vibrates and you frown. Who would be texting you at this time? Jungkook hands you your phone and you check it.

“Why is she awake?” You mumble, and frown.

“Who?” Jungkook inquiries. Tilting his head to see your screen.

“My sister,” You turn the phone so he can read the message. “She is inviting me to her first game this weekend.”

“O, that’s nice are you going to go?” Jungkook asks seeing that you haven’t replied to her yet.

“I don’t know,” you groan. “I mean I haven’t seen her in so long and i miss her terribly, but I don’t know, I have class on Friday afternoon and getting there and back again at night is going to be a pain.” You wish you had a car but with everything so close to your apartment you never saw the need, until now.

“Hmm…” Jungkook hums. “You can think about it tomorrow.” he states and pulls the phone from your hand and tucks your head underneath his chin again. You decide he is right, there is no use in worrying yourself about it now.

You relish in the moment. In the feel of his arms around you, his skin on yours and his cheek pressed on top of your head. You close your eyes and breath in. You smile softly as his scent invades your nose. Jungkook smells just so Jungkook, his laundry detergent mixed with something else you can never place your finger on. All you know is that it smells amazing, and you nuzzle closer into his chest.

The warmth radiates off of him, keeping you warm and his sweater underneath you cheek is soft. Your eyes are starting to get heavy, the time catching up to you, you peak at the clock. Just past 4 am, you guess it’s okay for you to sleep now. You wiggle until you're comfortable. Jungkook’s chest is rising and falling rhythmically, giving away the fact that he is also sleeping. You lightly close your eyes, ready to wake up cuddling later today.

That thought is wrenched from your head just like your comfortable pillow, when Jungkook slips off the couch in surprise at his phone’s ringing, breaking the soft silence that occupied the space mere moments ago. You follow Jungkook to the floor, but quickly get up to help him search for his phone, that he finds a minute later holding it above his head triumphantly, before realising he has to answer the still ringing phone.

His expression changes from sleepy and smiling to cold and serious as he listens to the person talking on the other side. You frown in confusion but he shakes his head getting up from the floor all while talking low and in short sentences that give nothing away about what they are speaking about.

You know this routine, Jungkook’s work calls him at all hours of the day and night. You tried to convince him that he should quit but he refused, saying that finding a new job now is only going to stress him out. You don’t understand at all but you decided not to push, however the bunch of job ads on your laptop is ready when he is.

“Sorry baby, I have to leave, apparently someone disappeared while on duty.” He explains pulling on his jacket and racing forward to give you a kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, be safe.” You call after him. He gives you one last smile and disappears through the door.

You sit in the quiet apartment for a while, thinking everything over. The past months have really thrown everything around, but you couldn’t be happier about it. You can’t believe there was a time that you didn’t even speak to Jungkook.

Everyone always calls him intimidating but you so easily got the sweet side to him you can’t understand what Jimin and Taehyung means when they say Jungkook can be scary and people are afraid of him. Sure you’ve seen him irritated but what they’re describing sounds more like people are really afraid of him. He always denies it though and argues with them. They usually give up very easily, especially when they are reminded of your presence. You guess he doesn’t want you to think badly of him.

You don’t think it would be possible to think badly of Jungkook, he is so sweet, so compassionate and so understanding. He goes out of his way to help you study and supports you before tests by always making you coffee.

You get up, getting the sticky notes you now have an abundance of at all times. You write him a message for when he gets home, you know you’ll probably be asleep when he gets back.

The notes have morphed from just telling each other when you’re going out to becoming a full conversation tool. Since you both struggle to see each other, missing each other some days completely you started leaving notes as a way of saying good morning, reminding the other of something or just give them a nice message for the day. The warning to not die or to avoid something horrible during the other’s absence is still a necessity.

You smile and stick the note to his bedroom door. Taehyung has on multiple occasions double checked on both of your phones that you do actually understand the concept of texting. He gagged evey time at what he calls the “sickly sweet” messages between you two. Reminded of that, you do send him a text to be safe, before your get into bed.

In bed, cozy and warm you finally fall asleep after two true crime videos.

Becky is rambling again. This time about how her parents won’t buy her a new car after she crashed hers. You roll your eyes when she isn’t looking and nod your head when she is.

“I mean the crash wasn’t even my fault the other car wasn’t suppose to be there. Who parks in designated parking anyway?” She continues, even though you've long been blocking out her words.

You realise she is waiting for a response.

“Yeah definitely.” you say to please her and she’s off again.

Your mind wanders to your sister. You had to tell you couldn’t come to her game tonight and the sadness in her voice still hurts you every time you think about it. Maybe you should just go. You can take a taxi, but you already cringe at the amount of money that would be. You could ask your parents but you feel guilty. They are already paying your rent, and your studies prevent you from getting a job, so you can’t contribute to anything. At least you have a scholarship, you guess.

“O my god.” Becky exclaims and it takes you a moment to realise she’s stopped walking. You frown at her, wondering what made her stop. “He has friends!” She pulls you closer and you frown finally looking up to see what she is looking at.

Your eyes land on Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin, who are all stood at the road, leaning against a car. When Jungkook sees you he smiles but the smile drops when he sees who you’re with. He whispers something to his friends who immediately look up from their phones.

“Come on.” Becky’s nails are digging into your arm as she pulls you forward to the three waiting men.

“I know you know that one but you have to introduce me to his friends okay?” She hisses into your ear, before throwing her brightest smile at the men.

You grimace a bit at the thought of introducing them, your worst fear suddenly becoming her dating Taehyung or Jimin. She pulls you along until you’re standing in front of them.

“Hey ba…” Jungkook can’t even greet you before Becky is chipping in.

“Hey I’m sure you remember me, we met a few weeks ago.” She smiles at Jungkook. “But I haven’t had the pleasure to meet your friends. Right Y/n?” She squeezes your arm painfully and you wince, smiling awkwardly.

“Right uhm..this is Jimin and this is Taehyung.” You gesture to the two men hoping she’ll release her hold on you now. You’re not that lucky.

“Jimin, Taehyung.” She smiles dazzlingly. “ it’s so nice to meet you I’m…”

“Becky.” Jimin finishes her sentence for her, glaring at her.

“We know.” Taehyung adds mimicking his friend’s expression.

Becky tilts her head to the side at their hostility, the smile still on her face as if cemented there.

“Baby why don’t we get going?” Jungkook asks you, placing his hand on the arm that Becky is still clinging to, forcing her to remove her hands from you. Jungkook pulls you to his side, wrapping an arm around you as soon as you're next to him.

“Baby?” Becky gasps in surprise. “Wow, are you guys dating?” Becky exclaims, her voice sickly sweet.

“Yes we are.” Jungkook answers with an eyebrow raised, irritation seeping out of him.

“You sure do have an interesting taste in girls.” Becky comments and looks you up and down her eyes judging you but as soon as she turns back to the men she’s all smiles again.

Jungkook must have noticed because his hold on you tightens.

“We should go on a double date sometime.” She winks at Jimin.

“Yeah you’re definitely not my type,” Jimin responds scoffing walking away from her to get in the car without a second glance.

Becky gasps, bawling her hands into fists. Her smile is gone and instead her face is screwed up like a toddler’s who is about to throw a tantrum. She gasps for words but in the time it takes her to arrange her thoughts Jungkook is dragging you into the car before driving off.

“Can you imagine the audacity of her.” Jimin rants.

“And the way she insulted you in front of us.” Taehyung adds.

“It’s okay guys don’t worry.” You try to calm them down. The whole situation makes you laugh. “Thanks for teaching her a lesson.” You look to the backseat with a smile and both men seem to be placated for now.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks, glancing at you before returning his gaze back onto the road.

You sigh, “yeah I’m okay,” you stroke your arm where she was holding you. “ who knew fake nails could hurt so much.” You chuckle looking at Jungkook only to see his jaw clenching.

“She hurt you?” He asks and you shrug.

“Do you want us to kill her?” Taehyung pipes up and you laugh at the suggestion.

“Thanks but Jungkook already offered.” You laugh and it makes Jungkook smile at the memory.

“Wait,” you frown suddenly realising you’re in a car driving somewhere. “Where are we going? And whose car is this?”

“We’re kidnapping you.” Jimin jokes and you frown in confusion.

“No really where are we going?” You chuckle but they shake their heads.

“Just trust us okay?” Jungkook says squeezing your thigh, leaving his one hand there while he drives, causing you to blush.

The rest of the drive is filled with you begging them to tell you where you’re going but they never budge.

When you finally arrive you frown. What are you doing at a school?

You hesitantly follow the boys’ lead and get out of the car. There are people everywhere, teenagers walking in little groups laughing, adults chasing after smaller children as they run to the food stands. There is excitement in the air you can feel it and it isn’t until a certain pair of faces catch your eye that you realise where you are. How could you not have figured it out sooner.

Your mom and dad come rushing towards you, smiles plastered onto their faces and you feel your face mimicking theirs immediately.

“Hi…” You barely get the word out before your dad pulls you into a bearhug. His arms tightening around your body and you let out a squeak signaling that you can’t breath.

“O sorry honey,” He chuckles and release you, giving your mom the chance to pull you into a less squishy hug.

“I can’t believe you came,” Your mother grins, brushing some of your hair back into place, “ Lilly is going to be so happy, what changed your mind?”

You blush. “ It’s less of my doing and more of theirs.” You point to the three boys behind your parents who have been watching the scene with pleased smiles. “Mom, dad,” You walk to Jungkook when your parents turn at your pointing finger, “ This is Jungkook, my… roommate.” You glance at him afraid he’ll be angry at you for not introducing him as your boyfriend or something but he just smiles brightly, his nose scrunching up and you almost melt.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He sticks out his hand for your parents to shake, your dad smile at him shaking his hand and your mom throws you a look. You groan inwardly you already know that look, it’s basically saying “ why didn’t you tell me he is so good looking?”. You give her a look back trying to prevent her from asking all her questions out loud.

“Well Jungkook it’s so nice to finally put a face to the name,” your dad says happily

“And who came with you?” Your mom asks looking past you at Jimin and Taehyung who has now taken a bunch of signs out of the back of the car.

“O this is my friends,” Jungkook gestures, “ This is Jimin and Taehyung, they wanted to come support Y/n’s little sister with us.”

“O isn’t that lovely,” Your mom says clutching her heart, clearly moved by the sweetness.

“Don’t get it wrong Ma’m this was all Jungkook’s idea, we just made the signs.” Jimin smiles and turns the sign in his hand around to show your sister's name in glitter. You look at them in surprise, they probably made all of this last night, and you can feel your chest getting warm from the emotions bubbling up in you. You turn to Jungkook and he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

He leans down to whisper to you while your parents fret over the Jimin and Taehyung’s effort. “They went a bit overboard.” He blushes slightly and you just shake your head. “I love it, thank you.” You want to kiss him but your dad is already there stuffing one of the signs in your hands.

“Come on you two the game is about to start.” Your dad proclaims, nodding to your mom who is already walking to the bleachers with Jimin and Taehyung in tow. You and Jungkook follow quickly and as soon as you find your seats, the teams come rushing onto the field.

“Which one is your sister?” Jungkook asks over the screams of the crowd and you point to Lilly.

Her hair is dyed blonde at the moment making her easy to find as the light bounces off it. She turns to the bleachers searching and you wave holding up the sign in your hands. You can see the exact moment she finds you because her eyes light up and a huge grin forms on her face, she follows the signs with her name on it and frown for a second at the three boys holding the others, lifting an eyebrow at you before her teammates drag her into huddle.

“She looks like you.” Taehyung leans over Jungkook to tell you and you roll your eyes. Everyone says it but you and your sister have never seen the resemblance. Maybe it’s because you’re both so different in personality that it makes you unable to see the physical similarities.

“Did you play sports in school Y/n?” Jungkook asks.

At his question your mom dad laughs. “ No, Y/n-bear has always been the studying type.” He ruffles your hair and you groan. “She fell asleep in the library so often the librarian had our number.” Your dad jokes and you cringe.

“Dad…” You whine and the three boys next to you burst out laughing.

“Y/n-bear huh.” Jungkook giggles and you cringe and stick out your tongue at him.

“As if your parents don’t have a embarrassing nickname for you.” You counter but his smile drops for a second, before coming back.

“We just call him Kookie.” Jimin pipes up causing Jungkook to blush.

“Or Bambi because when we met him he had these huge eyes.” Taehyung joins in smirking as Jungkook groans, clearly enjoying teasing the younger boy. Jungkook playfully smack him in retaliation and Taehyung is just about to fight back when the whistle blows, signaling the start of the game.

The game is a stressful one, the two teams keeping the score even. You cheer with every goal you’re sister’s team scores and you have to physically calm your dad down from yelling at the referee when he makes a bad call, only to find the other three men yelling along with him. At some point in the game, Jungkook’s hand finds yours and you intertwine your fingers together. You’re jumping up and down in celebration of another goal when you turn to him smiling wide to find him staring at you. The intense look on his face makes you blush.

“What ?” You ask a little out of breath but he just shakes his head.

“ I think I might be in trouble,” He whispers in your ear and you frown in confusion.

“Why?” You cock your head to the side, staring into his eyes.

“Because,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “ I can’t help but think every time I see you, how much I love you.”

The bleachers burst out in an eruption of cheers as the end whistle blows signaling your sister’s win. But all you can hear is Jungkook’s confession ringing in your ears. You’re both staring into each other’s eyes and you’re about to reply when your dad pulls you into a hug, cheering for your sister, and starts to drag you down to the field to go congratulate her in person. You look back to see Jungkook softly smiling at you as Jimin and Taehyung jump onto him for a group hug.

As soon as your sister sees you she is running to you at full speed, crashing into you and making you stumble back.

“Did you see I scored the winning goal!” she exclaims and her teammates burst into cheers again around her.

“I saw Lils I saw.” you lie, it’s not like you’re going to tell her you missed it because you just heard Jungkook say he loves you for the first time.

“O my god, I can’t believe you’re here, I’m so glad you came.” she gushes, shaking you and jumping up and down. In moments like these she reminds you a lot of a hyperactive puppy. She suddenly stops, looking over your shoulder and you turn to see what she’s looking at. “Who are they?” she asks and you smile when your eyes land on Jungkook and his friends.

“That’s…”

“Hi, I’m Jimin, wow I’m a huge fan the way you just scored that goal amazing, just amazing!” Jimin interrupts you before you can even introduce him.

“Right, that was awesome who knew Y/n’s little sister is such a badass.” Taehyung joins Jimin. “Im Taehyung by the way we’re Y/n’s friends.”

“I didn’t know my sister had such gorgeous friends wow,” Your sister blurts out without a bit of shame. “Did you make the signs? I loved them by the way.”

They both nod enthusiastically and she hugs them both. Your sister has never been the shy type, she shows how she’s feeling without a care, which is very nice when she’s happy but can be a pain in the ass when she’s mad. Jimin and Taehyung don’t seem to mind though and they happily accept the physical contact.

“Lilly this is Jungkook.” You finally get her attention back to you. Her eyes widen at the mention of his name.

“So you’re my sister’s roommate?” She asks and when he nods she jumps up an down clapping her hands. “She told me a lot about you, it’s so nice to meet you.”

Jungkook chuckles, glancing at you at the new information. “It’s nice to meet you too, I’d love to hear all about the things your sister has been telling you.” He smirks and she laughs.

“O yeah, I’ll tell you but come meet my teammates first they’ve all been distracted by the three hot guys on the bleachers.” Jungkook barely has a moment to react before Lilly is dragging him, Tae and Jimin to her friends. You just stand and laugh, ignoring their pleading stares for help as they are bombarded by teenage girls.

“Fancy meeting you here Y/n.” A voice next to you makes you jump and you look to the side, only to find a man who looks strangely familiar. You rack your brain and when you finally figure out how you know him, you freeze. It’s that creepy guy from the elevator.

“I haven’t seen you around the building, have you been avoiding me?” Damion asks his voice making it sound like he’s hurt but his eyes are as cold as ever.

“What are you doing here?” You blurt out, confused and you’ll admit a little bit scared.

“O my niece is in the other team, she asked me to come watch her game,” He waves his hand as if to brush off the accusatory tone in your voice. His eyes fall onto the scene behind you, “Is that your sister?” He asks innocently and you only nod. “She looks just like you.” He smiles but it sends a chill down your spine, he leans closer and you cringe back but his hand is holding you in place. “I’d love to meet her one day, “ he whispers.

“Y/n!” Lilly’s voice makes you look towards where she is beckoning you closer, you sigh out in relief to have an excuse to get away from Damion but when you turn to say something he’s gone.

You shake your head a little to clear it and plaster on a smile. You walk to where Lilly and your parents are standing.

“Hey you okay?” Jungkook asks when you’re close enough and you just nod.

“Yeah I’m fine, just a bit cold.” You lie, although the night has turned chilly and without missing a beat Jungkook takes off his jacket and drapes it around you.

“Y/n are you and the boys going to join us for post game celebrations?” Your mom asks, and you sigh.

“I’m sorry guys but I have a test coming up.” You bite your lip feeling bad.

“You can miss one night of studying right?” Lilly interjects, “ I still want to hang out with you.” She pouts and it breaks your heart to have to say no.

“Come now Lilly you know how hard your sister has to study, we don’t want to keep her out too late.” Your dad scolds her but your sister’s face doesn’t change.

“We’ll come visit again,” Jungkook says trying to soothe her and she looks at him surprised.

“Yeah and then we can go out to get ice cream or something.” You pipe up gratefully. “I promise.” You hold out your pinky finger and after a second she takes it in her own.

“Okay, fine but you all have to come again.” She looks to Jimin and Tae too and they smile promising her.

You all walk back to the together. Lilly who now seems much more satisfied is leading the way talking animatedly to Jungkook and Jimin while Taehyung is taking up your father’s attention , talking about god knows what.

“He’s a very nice young man.” Your mom says looping her arm through yours while she stares at Jungkook laughing at something Lilly said.

“Yeah he is.” You agree happy to know your mom likes him. If you were to tell her of your relationship with Jungkook you’re at least sure she’ll approve.

“You two make a good couple.” You look at her in surprise. “Mom…”

“ O please save it, do you think I’m blind?” She asks amused and you shake your head on impulse. “ the way you two look at each other is enough to make anyone see that you’re absolutely crazy for each other.”

You blush and she coos, “O my sweet Y/n has her first boyfriend.” She squishes your face in her hands and you shake loose of her hold. “Mom stop it.” you whine but she just giggles.

“I’m glad you’re happy sweety.”

“Me too Mom,” you smile, “and I am really happy.” She nods and you say goodbye quickly, the others already waiting at the car.

You hug your dad and with one last squishy hug from Lilly you get in the car. Although you love your family you can’t wait to get back to the apartment, because you have something very important to do.

Jimin and Taehyung say goodbye to you in the street because they have to return the car that they apparently borrowed from Hobi, though you don’t know how loosely they used the term borrowed. So it’s just you and Jungkook who goes up to the apartment.

“Jungkook…” The front door closes behind you. He turns around and you throw yourself into his arms. “Thank you so much for tonight.” You mumble into his chest, holding him tighter.

You feel his chuckle reverberate through his chest. “ It’s a pleasure, I’m just glad your parents seem to like me,” he pulls away so that he can see your face, “they do like me right?”

You laugh. Is that what he was worrying about tonight? “Are you kidding my mom loves you.”

Jungkook breathes out dramatically. “O thank god, otherwise we would have to be star-crossed lovers.” He smirks and you roll your eyes, earning a kiss on the forehead from him.

“I did want to talk to you actually.” You bite your lip, looking away feeling shy all of a sudden.

Jungkook lifts his eyebrows. “That doesn’t sound good.” He leads you to the couch to sit down, his hands holding yours.

“It’s nothing bad I promise it’s just after what you said on the bleachers well…”

Jungkook interrupts you. “Y/n it’s okay, you don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to.”

“No that’s not it I…”

“I didn’t say it for an answer I said it that you know how I feel.” He rambles.

“No Jungkook…”

He isn’t looking at you but he continues to talk. “I mean I know it’s probably too soon to say it, we haven’t been dating that long but…”

“Jungkook!” his gaze snap to you in surprise and you smile. “I’m trying to say that I love you too.” You watch in amusement as his face morphs from shocked to blushing and then it lands on something else.

“Say it again.” His eyes are hooded and he is leaning towards you.

“What?” You’re confused, your eyebrows furrowing.

He raises your hands over your head causing you to fall back onto the couch. He leans over you now, smirking and his stare intense.

“Say,” he kisses your cheek, “it”, he kisses your jaw, “again.” His lips find your neck and you squirm a bit.

“I love you.” You say breathlessly, he removes his lips from your neck to look at you.

“Good girl.” Is all he says before his lips captures yours. You can feel yourself melt and butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words. He bites your bottom lip lightly and you moan, causing him to smile. His lips are hot against yours, impatient in its movements as if he can’t get enough of you.

You tug at his hand that is still holding your wrists and he lets go, only for you to thread them into his hair pulling lightly. He groans and wraps his arms around your back pulling you onto his lap.

You’ve made out before of course but something was different tonight it’s as if you’re both starving for each other. You tug at his shirt’s hem and he gets the message because he rips it off before pulling you closer again. You place your hand on his chest and gasp at the warmth of his skin underneath your palms. You lightly drag your nails down his chest and he moans into your mouth when it rests at the waistband of his pants.

He pulls away slightly giving you both a moment to breathe. “ Baby wait.” He takes your hand on his pants in his own, holding it against his chest.

“Why?” You pout and he chuckles.

“I really want to do this, really want to, but we can’t on the couch.” He explains and your mind immediately goes to the many times Taehyung and Jimin have burst into the apartment and found you both on the couch in compromising positions like this.

“Fine,” You say and get up from his lap, holding out your hand for him, “Your bed or mine?”

He smirks and picks you up. You gasp and wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you into his room, making sure to lock the door behind him.

You impatiently tap your fingers on the counter waiting for the coffee machine. You were too lazy to put on any real clothes not seeing the point so you’re dressed in one of Jungkook’s hoodies and socks. A podcast is playing over your headphones and you already have a cup ready in your hand. You’re taking a break from studying but you know you’ll probably finish the coffee in your room in what is now essentially just your study, seeing as you don’t sleep in there anymore. You smile lightly at the memory of this morning, a relaxed sunny morning filled with soft kisses and cuddles. That is until you finally had to tear yourself away to go to class and Jungkook had to go to work. You got back from class a few hours ago but your boyfriend still hasn’t returned. His note had said he’ll probably be home late, so you’re not worried, but you wish you knew what he was busy with.

Even after all this time you still didn’t know what exactly his job is. He would always tip-toe around the question claiming that he does a lot of things, odd jobs really, but you feel like he isn’t telling you the full truth. You don’t see a reason to confront him about it though, because what job could possibly be a bad one right?

You’re so lost in thought you don’t even feel the presence behind you until arms wrap around you.

You scream, hurling around only to find a giggling Jungkook behind you.

Jungkook takes out the headphones in your ears. “ You should be careful, I could have been a murderer.” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “I knew you were there the entire time.” Which of course is a lie, you had no idea that someone was in the apartment.

“Yeah?” You nod profusely.

Jungkook pulls you closer. “Then why did you scream?” He smirks knowing that you’re lying.

You open your mouth to reply but you can’t really think of anything to say so you close it again to his amusement.

“Yeah I thought so.” He smiles at you. You stare at his smile. It always makes you smile too, the way his whole face lights up and you’re sure you can stare at him forever when he looks at you the way he is now.

“That doesn’t matter anyway,” you pull him closer, “because now that you’re home, we can spend the rest of the night together.”

He raises his eyebrows, “Yeah? what did you have in mind hmm?” He is smirking again, backing you up until your back meets the counter, caging you in. His eyes are hooded, gone is the bunny smiling man and instead he looks like a predator, waiting for you to make the first move.

You smirk, and pull him closer until your lips meet. You kiss him sweetly but after a moment you rack your fingers into his hair pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. He moans lightly into your mouth and you smirk pulling away.

“Maybe we should watch a movie?” You say innocently trying to escape his hold but he doesn’t relent.

“O no you’re not getting away that easily. I come home and you’re only in my hoodie,” He tugs at the fabric lightly. “I’m definitely not watching a movie with you like this.”

You shrug. “ Fine by me.” You giggle, leaning in for another kiss but he suddenly grimaces in pain.

“Jungkook?” You question as he grips onto his leg.

“Just give me a moment okay?” He says, his eyes a bit panicked, you nod and he backs away. You catch sight of his hand when it leaves his black covered leg and you’ve been patching him up so much you can easily see the red liquid that coats it.

Your eyes go wide. “Jungkook is that blood?” You move closer to him but he moves back.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” He replies, but you’re not so easily convinced.

“Let me see.” You command but he shakes his head. “Jungkook let me see.” You use your doctor voice and he sighs.

“We better go to the bathroom then.” He looks worried which makes you worry, but you help him to the bathroom where he sits down on the closed toilet. You kneel in front of him.

Now that you’re closer you can see the wet stain that is growing by the second. And you gasp when he removes his pants and you get a good look at the wound. The skin is peeled away on his thigh leaving a long deep gash and a bunch of bruising around it. It isn’t something you’ve seen before in person.

“Jungkook what happened?” You sound a bit hysteric even to your own ears.

Jungkook curses when he sees it. “I thought he missed.” He mumbles.

“Missed what?” You ask stupidly, staring up at Jungkook.

“I got mugged again.” He tries to explain but you see the way he looks away not meeting your eyes.

“Okay either you’re the most unlucky person ever that gets mugged a lot or you’re lying to me.” You know it’s the latter. Unlike the first time that he came home bleeding you now know him well enough to know when he is lying.

“Y/n…” He pleads for you to not press but you’ve had enough.

“Jungkook, I’ve been quiet every time you come home injured, I patch you up and let it go but this looks like a bullet grazed you.” There is no other injury you can think of that will look like this. You look at him waiting for him to deny it but he just sighs.

“Y/n can’t you just patch me up and forget about it?” He sounds angry but you can see that it’s just clouding panic.

“No, tell me what happened.” You demand. “I’m your girlfriend don’t you think I’m at least entitled to the truth?”

He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t know the truth.” He says it through clenched teeth and you frown.

“You really don’t think I deserve to know the truth?” You raise your voice, getting angry now. Why can’t he just tell you?

“That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just better that you don’t know the truth.” He is getting angry now too.

“That makes no sense, did this happen because of your job?” You can’t think of another explanation as to why he keeps getting hurt like this.

He glares at you and for the first time ever you see his scary gaze directed at you. “That has nothing to do with you.” He growls and you flinch. He looks like he regrets it immediately but you don’t look at him. Instead you start disinfecting the wound.

You don’t react when he tries to get your attention throughout the process, you just wrap up his injury and when you’re done you stand up without a word.

Jungkook grabs your wrist and you stare at him. “ Wait, I’m sorry. Can we just talk about this?”

“I don’t want to hear anymore lies Jungkook.” You retort but he doesn’t let you go.

He gulps and bites his lip, clearly struggling. “If I tell you what happen you’ll run away from me.” He says it with such certainty that you hesitate for a second. He sounds so sad.

“You won’t know that unless you tell me, besides you should know me better than to think I’d just leave you because you told me the truth,” you try to wrench your hand away from him, but he stands up winching a bit.

“Okay, I’ll tell you but all I’m asking is that you remember what you just said.” You nod, now a bit scared because Jungkook looks so anxious.

You wait for him on the couch while he changes into some pants. He comes out without a shirt on and you frown at all the bruises on his torso. There are some cuts too but they’re not very deep. Once again you see the white scars, you noticed that first time.

Jungkook stands sheepishly at the entrance to the hallway as if unsure whether to sit or run away.

“Do you want coffee?” He asks hesitantly.

“ Jungkook stop stalling please,” You sigh, “Just come sit down.” You just want to know what is happening.

He sighs and walks slowly to sit on the couch, keeping the distance between you two, which you’re thankful for.

You sit in silence waiting for Jungkook to say something but he sits hunched over scratching at his cuticles and avoids looking at you.

“Jungkook the longer you take the more my head is jumping to conclusions,” You break the silence trying to spur him on to speak.

“Yeah?” He still doesn't look at you. “Like what?”

You stare at him. “I don’t know,” You throw up your hands, “ like that you’re a serial killer or something.”

Jungkook chuckles humorlessly. “I’m not a serial killer Y/n.”

“Then what can be so bad?” You question, leaning in closer to him, not seeing a way that something can be worse.

Jungkook takes a deep breath in. “I’m in the mafia Y/n.” He glances at you waiting for your reaction.

To his surprise you laugh. “Okay, sure Kook you’re in the mafia.” You watch him, waiting for him to laugh too and give up the joke but he just stares at you seriously.

“O my god,” It takes a minute to sink in, “ that's how you know how to hide a body isn’t it?.”

“ Well I don’t actually do the hiding bit.” He chuckles again still glancing at you nervously picking at his fingers.

You just stare at him. Everything feels cold all of a sudden. “Then what bit do you do?”

But you don’t give him a chance to respond something dawning on you. “O my god, you’ve killed people before haven’t you?”

Jungkook just looks away, his reaction all answer you need.

You pull your legs further away from him, into your chest, moving as far away from him on the couch as possible.

Jungkook, your Jungkook is in the mafia, is a murderer. You can’t wrap your head around how the sweet, bunny-smiling man you love is capable of any of that. The man who showers you with kisses in the morning to wake you up. The man that makes you pancakes and coffee before a test, that braids your hair after you shower. You don’t know what to think or do. Should you run? Should you call the police? You just don’t know. All you do know is that you suddenly feel the need to be as far away from him as possible. For the first time ever you feel scared being in his presence.

“Please don’t run away,” he asks you, his hand twitching as if to hold onto you but he retracts it, “Remember you promised.”

“Yeah I promised because I thought you were going to tell me you're a stripper or something, not that you're in the mafia.” You sound a bit hysterical, unsure of what to think or do, your head running a thousand miles an hour.

Finally you decide. You stand up from the couch, and you can see the hurt written all over his face.

You sigh. “I’m not running away, I just… I need a moment to think okay?”

He just nods. “Do you want me to leave?”

You shake your head “No, I don’t know, maybe? I just don’t know anything right now okay.”

You turn on your heels and walk to your room, leaving him on the couch.

You close the door to your room and you sink to the floor. You have to process what you just heard. You finally found out the truth and now you wonder if your should have just been kept in the dark. Maybe it would have been easier. No, you decide it’s better that you know.

In some ways you feel stupid. All the late nights calls, him coming home with various injuries and vague explanations. Even the tip-toeing around what his actual job is. You feel like a fool for not at least expecting it to be a possibility. But how could you have it feels so unreal and yet it is the reality, no changing that.

You just have to decide what to do now, so you go sit down at your desk, throwing all your notes on the floor and pulling out a clean piece of paper. You draw a line down the middle. A pros and cons list.

You laugh humorlessly at yourself. You used to do this when you had to decide whether to join the debate team or decathlon team, not whether you should stay with your mafia boyfriend or not. Is he even your boyfriend anymore? Do you want him to be?

You sit with the pen tip pushed on the page but you can’t write. Of course the cons are obvious. You stay with him and know that he is doing illegal things every day. You stay with him knowing you could be putting yourself in danger as well. But you can’t come to a conclusion even though the cons outweigh the pros. The only pro is that you love him.

You’re a logical person, you always have been, so it should be easy when you look at the list, but you just can’t get the sad look on his face out of your head. The way he didn’t want to tell you because he was so sure you would leave him.

It’s happened before you realise. He wasn’t keeping this from you just because he didn’t want to tell you but because he didn’t want you to leave. You think of all the things he’s done for you, walking you home after class because it was getting dark. Taking you to see your sister’s game just because he knew you were sad to miss it. Taking care of you while you were sick. That man wasn’t someone malicious. So who is the real Jungkook then?

You start to look at it differently. From a different angle the way your dad always told you to do when you were struggling with something. You don’t know the full story, you don’t know how he got sucked into this life.

Finally you get up. If you’re going to make a decision you need to know everything.

You knock on his door a few hours later. You can hear shuffling inside and finally it opens. Jungkook’s hair is disheveled as if he’s been tugging at it and his eyes are red like he’s been crying. Behind him you can see bags half packed.

“What are you doing?” You ask, suddenly panicking that he is packing.

“You said you needed space so I thought I’d make everything easier for you and leave.” He says sniveling a little bit.

“Jungkook I didn’t mean you have to move out I just needed some time that’s all.” Even now you have the urge to hug him to make him feel better.

“Does that mean you want me to stay?” He asks hopefully.

“It means I want to know everything.” He frowns in confusion. “I want to know what happened how this all happened.”

He nods and step aside inviting you in. “Well then you better sit down it’s kind of a long story.”

You enter his room, that just a few hours ago was the room you shared with him. How ironic that just his morning you were tangled up in his bed with him and now you’re sitting on it waiting to hear him tell you how he got into the mafia.

He sits down next to you, still keeping space between you two as if too scared to sit near you.

He sighs and racks his fingers through his hair. “I haven't told anybody this, the only people who knows are my Hyungs.”

You frown. “ Wait so Jimin and Taehyung are also in this?” You can’t believe it. But he holds up his hand, stopping you from asking anymore questions, and even though your head is full of them, you keep quiet.

“I’ll get to that part but I guess I have to start at the beginning.” He sighs before looking at you.

“My childhood wasn’t like yours, there were no picnics and movie nights or family dinners. My dad wasn’t a good person. He would beat me up daily. I remember him locking me in a closet because I was afraid of the dark when I was 5, saying that it will teach me a lesson.” You gasp not even being able to imagine what that must have been like.

“He would punish me for the most basic things, and as I got older it only got worse.” He grimaces at the memories.

“My mom on the other hand was the best. She tried to intervene even if it meant getting hurt herself. She would sneak me food when my dad refused to give me any, and every year on my birthday she would make me a small cake, just enough for me and her.”

He smiles softly. “ She tried her best, always telling me stories of how we’ll escape and get a house near a river with wildflowers, and how she would bake me cookies and I can catch fireflies in the summer.” He sighs. “Of course that couldn’t happen, my dad kept her locked in the house and she had no money of her own but yet she tried so hard to find a way out.” He swallows hard. “ One night she came into my room and told me to pack a bag, that we were finally escaping.” His voice is almost a whisper at this point “We were so close, almost out through the small window in the basement when he caught us.” His voice breaks and you can’t help but put a hand over his. You asked for the whole story but now you wish you hadn’t, just so that he didn’t have to relive the memories.

“He killed her.” He looks at you with teary eyes. “Right in front of me.”

“O Jungkook.” But he just shakes his head wiping away the tears.

“So it was just me and my dad and well you’ve seen the scars.” You immediately understand where those white scars you were wondering about came from and you have to stop yourself from hugging him.

“I’m not telling you this to try and manipulate you into letting me stay, I just want to give you background information.” He says softly and you can't imagine why he would even think that you were considering him trusting you with this as manipulation.

“So anyway,” he continues. “ My dad at some point got involved with some pretty bad people and one night they burst into the house, demanding him to pay what he owed them but of course he couldn't. He gambled it all away.” He takes a breath. “So they shot him. They didn’t know I was in the house so I climbed through a window to get away,”

He chuckles lightly looking at you and it surprises you. “Let me tell you running away with a broken ankle isn’t easy.” You don’t know what to say startled by the way he laughs at this, so you just wait for him to continue, which he does.

“ I lived on the street for a while, trying to get scraps from dumpsters behind restaurants you know that kind of thing.” He looks to you as if you know what he means but you don't. You’ve never had to live like that before and knowing that it was what he was used to for who knows how long makes your heart break.

“That’s where Namjoon-hyung found me, I was 10 at the time, some guys were beating me up because I had wandered into their territory. He and the others intervened and after that he took me in.” He looks at you again. “I didn’t know what they were doing in the beginning, I was so skittish barely anyone could get near me, but eventually Jimin got through to me and slowly I learned to trust them all. When I was 13, Namjoon-hyung told me what they did. I was disgusted at first, but they had become my family. A real family, so how could I ever leave them.”

“Did they force you into it then?” You ask when he pauses.

But Jungkook shakes his head. “No, they never forced me to do anything, but I wanted to train with them and one night I asked Jimin if I could tag along on a mission.” He looks to the side as if imagining it.

“The mission was routine, just getting a shipment nothing serious, but on the way back we came across a man trying to pull a girl into an alley.” His face goes hard. “Jimin made everyone stop and we saved her. He told me after that we have a code.” He looks at you. “ We protect the people in our territory, that we may live in a world full of violence but we don’t have to let innocent people live in it too.”

You nod your head trying to understand what he means and you think you do.

He risks taking your hands into his. “Y/n I may be a bad person and I have done bad things but you have to know that I never acted with you, everything I did or said it was real, is real. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to be living here anymore.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

“When I came to live with you I just needed a place to hide for a few weeks, but this place became like a sanctuary to me away from all the violence, where I can just be myself, and after a while, I realised it wasn’t just the apartment it was you too.” He takes a deep breath and his eyes fill with tears.

“I understand if you want me to leave and never want anything to do with me again, I can’t ask you to still love me but I can only make sure that you know that I truly love you.” He waits for you to speak and you know he is waiting for you to kick him out.

“Jungkook, a rational person would kick you out right now,” A tear makes it way down his cheek, “Luckily I have never been a rationale person.” You pull him into a hug.

“If we met differently yes maybe I would be running for the hills but Jungkook,” You pull away a bit, wiping the tears from his face, “I love you for the person you showed me you are and I believe that, that is the real you, and that the only thing you ever wanted was a family, and now that you found one you will fight for them no matter what.”

Jungkook pushes his face into your neck and let’s out a sob. You place your hand on his back rubbing circles on it trying to soothe him as he lets it all out. You sit like that for what feels like hours, hugging and him just nuzzling into your neck even after he stopped crying.

“So I’m basically a mafia doctor then?” You joke trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckles. “Yeah, everyone is jealous that I can just get patched up by you without doing it myself.”

You frown. “Do you guys just, what ,patch yourselves up?”

“We’ve learned how to do the basics so we help each other.” He sighs and plays with your fingers. “I was suppose to go to headquarters that night you helped me for the first time but I guess my brain just wanted safety.”

You sigh. “ Well I mean I could help the others too if they want me…”

“No.” Jungkook interrupts you, and you look taken aback. “Not because I want to keep you to myself but I don’t want you anywhere near that part of my life, it’s too dangerous, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place even if some of the others said I should.”

You frown. “ Who said you should?”

“Jimin and Hobi hyung.” He mumbles looking away.

“Not Tae?” You raise an eyebrow at the information.

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, he said it would be too unsafe, Jimin didn’t want to keep you in the dark and Hobi said you deserved to know the truth.”

You look down at your intertwined hands as a thought dawns on you. “Are you going to get in trouble for telling me?”

Jungkook shakes his head . “No, the others were more indifferent than against it, so I should be fine.” He smiles lightly at you, placing his finger underneath your chin making you look at him.

“I’m glad you didn’t run away, I don’t know how I would have broken it to the other two. They like you too much.” He jokes.

“Well I mean I guess I knew too much anyway so you would have had to drag me back.” You play along as he leans in closer.

“Yeah probably would have had to tie you up too.” He smiles and you roll your eyes.

The moment is broken however by Jungkook’s phone ringing. He looks at you solemnly as he answers. For the first time, your heart skips a beat when you see him seriously listening to what is said on the other side, now knowing what is happening.

“You have to go?” You guess and he nods sadly.

“I’m sorry, but it’s just a meeting okay no danger.” He tries to ease your worried look. You just nod and walk him to the front door.

But before he leaves you pull him into a tight hug. “Just promise to come home okay?” You almost feel like crying, is this how women feel sending their husbands off to war?

He pulls away and leans down so that you’re at eye level. “I may come home hurt,” He smiles lightly, “ but I will always come home, I promise.” He kisses your forehead before leaving. His words not reassuring you at all.

“Why can’t you guys just tell me?” You plead with Jimin and Tae who are sprawled out on the couch, barely glancing at you standing in front of them with crossed arms.

“Because Jungkook told us not to.” Jimin says lazily, not looking up from his phone.

You’ve been trying to get them to tell you the best way to hide a body for the past 15 minutes. The joke with Jungkook turning into a real competition after you found out he actually does know the right answer.

It’s been a few weeks since he confessed to you he’s in the mafia and you’ve gotten used to the idea now. You still worry about him but you’re more relaxed when he lets things slip about his other life. He still looks at you anxiously whenever he does slip up as if you are going to change your mind and run away at any moment, but you never do. You have to say after he told you a lot of things fell into place that you never really gave too much thought to, like the way he would smirk or smile at remarks you would make from time to time. Everything finally at least makes sense now.

Jimin and Taehyung acted like polar opposites to the news that you know the truth. Jimin seemed relieved before he started almost spilling everything about what they do before Jungkook had to drag him away by the back of the neck to make it very clear to him that he doesn’t want you to know any details about it.

Taehyung on the other hand seemed angry and didn’t talk to you at first, glaring at Jimin whenever he would make a joke about their real lives. After a particular joke about who is best with a sniper, he stood up and dragged you to the hallway.

“Taehyung I know you’re angry that I know but…” You were cut off by his arms wrapping around you.

“I’m not angry, I just didn’t want anything to change.” He admitted still hugging you. “I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.”

You pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. “Tae, I already made my choice, I’m not going to run away from you guys.”

After that, he warmed up again, happy to know his fears weren’t going to become a reality.

You did however have a small falling out with them when you learned how they kept getting into your apartment.

You had found them playing video games when you got back from class one day and knowing that Jungkook wasn’t home at all that day you had stepped in front of them making them pause their game and demanded to know how they got in.

Jimin had blushed profusely as Tae admitted embarrassed that they have been picking the lock. You had blown up at that, scolding them about privacy and personal space and yes, how illegal it is.

They had stared up at you like two naughty children the whole time. They tried to kiss-ass the entire day after that but you ignored them, and the chocolate and coffee they brought to you as an apology.

It wasn’t until later when Jungkook asked you what was wrong and you told him everything that he made you understand. To them, like Jungkook, the apartment is a place they don’t have to even think about their lives. In the mansion where they all live, apart from Jungkook, they always have to be reminded in some way or the other of the reality of their lives, but here they could just truly and fully relax.

You felt bad so to make up for it you had something made for them.

“A key?” Tae had asked confused holding it up and turning it around.

“Yes a key,” You had sassed, “I’m sure you’re not very familiar with the concept but now you don’t have to pick my locks every time you want to hang out here.” You had explained and were immediately pulled into a group hug, sandwiched between the two of them.

Of course, you had laid down some ground rules eventually like texting you before coming over so that they didn’t catch you in your underwear… again. But for the most part, they came and went as they pleased, happy to be trusted by you.

Which brings you back to the present, of them completely ignoring your wishes.

“I thought we were friends.” You pout making them at least look at you.

“No, don’t give us that face,” Taehyung physically puts his hand over his eyes. “We can’t tell you, we promised.”

“But what’s a promise really Taetae?” You know you’re playing dirty but you’re willing to if it means you can best Jungkook in your little game.

“Y/n what are you doing?” Jungkook’s voice comes from the front door, you didn’t even notice that it had opened.

“Kookie she is trying to get us to tell her how to hide a body.” Jimin spills the beans immediately and you glare at him earning only a smirk in return.

Jungkook gasps and walks to you. “Y/n that is cheating.”

You sigh dramatically. “You never said that I couldn’t get any help.”

“It is an obvious rule, besides they won’t tell you.” He glances at his friends lifting an eyebrow at them “Right guys?”

They both just nod, their attention back to their phones.

“Ughh that’s just unfair,” You whine and stomp your foot but smile none the less when Jungkook pulls you into his chest.

“No, that's the game and you should play fair.” he chuckles kissing the pout off your face.

“Ewww guys.” Jimin complains, at the show of affection.

“Hey, you're in my house.” You glare at him, kicking a pillow laying on the floor at him.

He just shrugs, “fair point.”

“That being said Y/n,” Taehyung pipes up, “What are we gonna eat?” He smiles a boxy smile at you.

You turn to him, Jungkook hugging you from behind tucking his chin in the crook of your neck.

“What am I your mother? Damn” You question rolling your eyes, “You can make your own food.”

“Baby we haven’t gone grocery shopping.” Jungkook whispers in your ear and you cringe as the other two laugh.

“Well, then you can order your own takeout.” You say instead, earning more laughter.

“Or better yet you can go get takeout for all of us.” Jungkook adds.

Jimin and Taehyung groan but gets up from the couch nonetheless. Grumbling about stupid friends, and third-wheeling they head out the door.

“We’ll be back in like 20 minutes so just keep that in mind.” Jimin yells as Taehyung pulls him out the door.

“20 minutes huh?” Jungkook whispers into your neck, “ we can do a lot in 20 minutes.” He lightly kisses your neck and you moan softly.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” You giggle and you feel him smile against your skin.

“That depends are you seducable?” He asks.

“No,” You lie, stepping out of his hold, his arms still in the shape they were when you were in them. He looks shocked. “You’re just trying to get out of doing the dishes by using your …” You wave your hands randomly trying to come up with the right word, “charms.”

“My charms?” He questions stepping forward holding you by your hips. “Well then do I charm you a lot?” He leans down to kiss you.

“Yes, but not tonight,” You lean back away from his lips even though they are hard to resist. “I have no coffee cups left.”

He laughs loudly throwing his head back. “Okay, okay,” he relents and lets you go, moving past you but not before whispering in your ear. “But I’m having you all to myself tonight.”

You feel a tingle travel down your spine and for a moment you regret your decision to make him do the dishes now, that is until you see the pile stacked in the sink and agree that you can wait until later tonight even if you have to kick Tae and Jimin out to be alone with him.

You wake up in Jungkook’s arms. His bare chest pressed against your back, his leg hooked over your hip. You smile softly as you feel his breath breeze over your neck, your gaze travelling from his arm that you’re using as a pillow to his hand. You place yours in his, playing with his fingers and running your fingertips over the callouses on his palm.

You giggle as you're pulled closer into him by his other arm his lips now right by your ear.

“What are you doing pretty girl?” He asks in his husky morning voice and you melt at the sound of it. You’re sure if you could you’d record it and put it as your ringtone. You’re also quite sure he wouldn’t mind.

“I’m just thinking.” You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.

“O yeah?” He asks, moving his lips down to your neck, not kissing just resting his lips against the skin. “What about?”

You smile wide and turn around in his hold to face him. His eyes are hidden a bit by his hair falling into his face. He wraps both of his arms around you at the change in position.

“I was thinking about how happy I am.” You tell him pushing his hair out of his face and revealing his relaxed eyes, the deep brown of them sparkling in the morning light.

He smiles widely at your answer, “ And what makes you so happy?” He asks scrunching his nose.

You place your finger to your chin to show you’re thinking. “Probably the thought of coffee.” You chuckle and he groans burrowing his face into the crook of your neck, knowing that this means he’ll have to let go of you.

“No,” He tightens his grip on you. “I refuse, I think you should just stay right here.” His words whisper over your skin and feel goosebumps popping up in their wake.

You pout. “That’s a bit selfish don’t you think?” You ask, pulling back so he has to look at you.

He shrugs. “Then I’m selfish.” He says before nuzzling back into your neck.

“Being selfish isn’t a good thing Kookie.” You giggle at him, running your fingers lovingly through his hair.

“I’m in the mafia I’m not supposed to be nice.” He mumbles into your neck and you laugh.

“But you’re suppose to be nice to me, because you love me.” You sing-song, making him laugh. His laugh reverberates through his chest and you can feel it vibrating against yours.

“You’ve got me there.” He admits, and sighs. But he doesn’t release you like you thought he would. He grips you tighter and sits up with you still in his hold.

“What are you doing?” You ask in surprise, before you let out a squeal as he stands up making you wrap your legs around him.

“I’m getting you coffee in a selfish way.” He smiles down at you and moves you up higher by holding you by the back of your thighs.

“You are such an idiot.” You laugh as he walks to the kitchen and without putting you down he turns on the brand new coffeemaker he got you.

“Yeah but you love me anyway.” He replies, walking over to the cupboard and waits for you to pick out a cup. He smiles at your choice. It’s one of those cups that has a printed photo on it. The photo is of you two when you went to the arcade, in it Jungkook is pouting while you hug a huge plushie he won for you instead of him. Jimin had taken the photo laughing his ass off at Jungkook’s expression. You had it printed on the mug as an accessory to the new coffeemaker much to Jungkook’s amusement.

He finally puts you down on the counter as the coffeemaker pours the coffee into your mug. He stands in between your legs playing with his shirt that you’re wearing.

“What’s the plans for today?” He asks you.

You tilt your head a bit. “ Well I have class,” You see his expression drop, “but, I think I’ll skip today.” You finish chuckling as his face lights up.

“Really?” He asks grinning widely.

“Yeah,” You nod, “I think I like how this morning is going too much to tear myself away from it.” You shrug as you admit it.

He smirks and leans in. “I think I’m a bad influence on you.”

“O you don’t have to think, you’re definitely a bad influence.” You laugh before meeting his lips half-way and pulling him closer with your legs to kiss him properly. His lips are soft against yours and you relish in the feeling of this domestic moment. Something you two don’t get to do enough.

You pull away. “But I do have plans.” You tell him.

“And what are these plans hm?” He smiles softly, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

You smirk. “I’m going to kidnap you for the day.”

He holds up his hands as if your going to put handcuffs on him, pressing his wrists together. “Then I’m your prisoner for the day.” You both laugh happily.

You weren’t lying though you do have a surprise for him today so your excited to get going after your cuddle session on the couch while you drink your coffee.

“I didn’t think you meant we would have to go outside.” Jungkook whines as you drag him into the shower.

“You’re going to like it I promise,” you say while you wash his hair.

“If I don’t then you have to make dinner tonight,” he bargains and you only shake your head laughing.

You're both finally ready, after getting side tracked many times with kisses and hugs as you got dressed.

You hold hands as you walk down to the bus stop, making puns out of the different signs you see as you walk past. You finally get on the bus and you make up stories for the other people on it.

“I promise he is going to dispose of a body look at the size of that bag.” You whisper, gesturing to the man in front who has a bag so big it takes up a whole seat next to him.

Jungkook laughs and shakes his head. “ The girl behind him probably helped him kill the person.” He gestures to the person sitting behind the man.

You snort, “You mean the old woman who has a basket filled with flowers?”

“Hey, you should have seen the look she gave me when we got on.” He justifies himself, staring at you while you laugh.

“Why are you staring at me?” You ask, your laugh now only a chuckle.

“How can I not,” He wraps his arm around you and pulls you into him. “You’re just so god damn beautiful.”

You blush and turn your face away from him , but he already saw your blush and when you glance at him he smiles at you satisfied at making you blush.

You finally arrive at your stop and you pull Jungkook along down the street to your destination.

He gasps when he sees where you brought him.

You turn back to him smiling. “See I knew you’d love it.” You gloat.

The park is situated right by a river and the wildflowers are blooming in patches swaying softly in the breeze. The big trees cast shade over the green lush grass. You had remembered how he described what his mom told him so you had Google searched for hours to find the right place to bring him to.

You walk to a big tree close to the river and then demand the bag he has been carrying. You pull out a blanket and spread it onto the grass while Jungkook discovers the snacks you packed.

You spend the day laying on the blanket, eating the snacks and ice cream from a stall nearby. You try to find shapes in the clouds, and every now and again have to tilt the other’s head to make them see it the way you are.

“That is definitely not a rabbit Kook, that is obviously a duck.” You giggle from your spot on his lap as he keeps on insisting the cloud is a bunny.

“Just tilt your head more to the left and close your eyes and then it is definitely a bunny.” Jungkook says and you laugh hard.

You get an idea. “Here let me show you something.” You get up holding out your hand for him to take, he smiles and takes it happily.

You pull him over to the patch of wildflowers closest to you, and bend down starting to pick some. “What are you doing?” He asks but follows your example all the same.

“Just wait.” You say as you bring the bouquets back to your blanket. You sit down and pick out a few from different colours and start weaving them together. Jungkook just sits and watches you and when you finally hold up the finished flower crown he grins.

“Here,” you lean over placing it onto his head. “Now you’re my prince.” You laugh and he giggles when you take a photo of him.

You spend a few minutes showing him how to make one of his own and soon you’re sporting his creation too. You grin into the camera as he takes photo after photo of you. It turns into a mini photoshoot as he smiles and directs you how to pose.

Finally you sit leaning your head on his chest as you watch the sunset over the river.

“Y/n?” He says softly and you hum letting him know that you’re listening. “Thank you.”

His voice makes you remove your head from his shoulder looking at him. “It’s a pleasure Kook.”

He shakes his head bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. “No, not just for today for everything,” he lightly kisses your forehead leaving his lips against your skin as he whispers, “I love you so much.”

You grin at him. “I love you too. ”You whisper back. You sit like that for a moment until you hear him gasp.

You open your eyes and see the green flickers rising up from the ground.

“Fireflies.” Jungkook whispers and you smile softly at him.

You watch his eyes light up as they follow the little bugs. He turns to you with slighty glossy eyes. “You remembered?” He asks softly.

“I thought since she couldn’t take you some place like this I thought I would.” You say placing your hand over his.

He stays quiet and for a second looking out at the river as the fireflies light op the night and you start to wonder if you overstepped. But then he looks at you with a huge smile.

“She would have loved you.” He says a small tear escaping his eye and running down his cheek. You wipe it away with your thumb. You smile sadly at him, and he wraps his arm around you pulling you close to him as you both watch the little flickers dance across the water. The scent of the wildflowers entangling itself in the moment.

You sit like that speaking softly, as if you were to speak normally it would break the moment, until it starts getting cold. So you pack up and with Jungkook’s jacket over your shoulders you make your way back onto the bus.

The drive back is peaceful as you watch the scenery pass by the windows. He holds you close to him the entire time, talking about plans to go back to the park in a few weeks.

When you finally cross the threshold of your apartment, he pulls you into a soft hug and drag you to the couch for a movie. The movie plays softly while you two talk, talks about plans for the holidays that he wants to spend with your family, and if you’d like to meet his hyungs and spend new year with them. You talk about the future together like you never had before, long past the end of this year or even the years after that.

You lay with your head on his chest as you listen to his voice, and when you close your eyes you can see your whole life with Jungkook. Walking to him down an isle in a white dress, sitting and drinking coffee at little shops up and down the coast, travelling to different countries with him, and one day looking over a river on a porch somewhere with him by your side, grey haired and wrinkled faced. The thoughts of his job or the implications it may have on your future pushed away by the softness of the moment.

You smile as the last things you hear before you fall asleep is his whispered words. “I can see my forever in your eyes Y/n.”

You know you shouldn’t be walking home in the dark, but you didn’t want to trouble Jungkook. He’s on an important mission with Jimin and Yoongi apparently. The details you of course know nothing about, he never tells you anything of what they are doing. On some level, you guess it you’re glad you don’t have to hear it but on another, it makes you anxious to not know what is happening, and if he is in danger.

You scoff, of course, he’s in danger. Every time he leaves for missions or meetings he’s in danger and it makes you lay awake unable to sleep until you feel him crawl into bed next to you. Only then when he pulls you closer can you finally fall asleep.

Your phone vibrates and you pull it out of your pocket to check. You smile softly at your lockscreen the picture of him with his flower crown from that day at the park. You look at the text, it’s your mother reminding you of the games night tomorrow that you and Jungkook said you’ll attend. He confessed to you that he loves spending time with your family and although he doesn’t say it and you’ll never ask if it’s true, you know it’s because he never really had a family dynamic like yours.

So even if Lilly goes overboard and bombards him with questions and your mother fusses over him and makes him eat all the experimental food she made, or your father having long boring talks with him, he always smiles and when you look closely you see a sadness in his eyes when you have to leave.

He’s told you multiple times that the members are his family and that they can all be themselves at home, and you believe him fully. You just think that he finds some normality in spending time with your family that he can’t always find with them.

You reply your mom and put your phone away, you know you shouldn’t walk with it out, and it’s almost dead anyway.

With your focus back on the streets you can’t help but feel the forever paranoia sinking in. You’ve gotten used to walking at night with Jungkook by your side, swinging your intertwined hands back and forth and talking to you about his hyungs and what they have been up to. He only tells you the domestic things of course, but you sometimes wonder about what their roles actually are in the mafia. You know they are all part of the inner circle and that Namjoon is the leader but other than that he keeps the information about that side of their lives secret.

You sigh. Your life really is strange, but to be honest as long as Jungkook is in it you don’t mind too much. Which is probably a stupid thing, him being a criminal should be the biggest red flag you have ever seen in a person but you know what lies beneath it all so you don’t mind too much being a stupid bull and running into it head on.

You hear footsteps behind you and you sneakily look over your shoulder to see someone following you. No, they are just walking Y/n, not following, it’s okay not everyone is out to get you.

You turn back to the front continuing on your journey home. Your apartment only a block away and you know a sticky note will be waiting for you with a sweet message probably adding to not get kidnapped or something.

You smile, only to let it drop when you see a man lingering on the wall next to an alley. You still hear footsteps behind you too. You bite your lip and take a deep breath in deciding to cross the street instead just to be safe.

Just as you step off the curb the man in front of you starts walking towards you. You look back and see the man behind you walking faster now. You throw caution into the wind and quickly walk to the other side of the street, your heart racing when you realise both men are following you.

You decide fuck it and start running scared out of your wits now, you pull out your phone to call Jungkook, but just as you press the call button a van almost hits you as you cross the street. You stare into the headlights frozen and say sorry walking past quickly only for it to stop behind you.

Before you can react the door opens and hands grab you, pulling you inside. You scream but a hand over your mouth stops the sound. The door sliding closed.

“Hey baby, I’m on my way home.” You hear Jungkook answer your call. You thrash and kick at the man holding you, the van is moving now and you’re forced to sit down.

“Y/n?” Jungkook questions worry in his tone.

You bite down hard at the hand over your mouth. The man gasps and lets go of your mouth, startled by your bite.

“Jungkook help!” You scream before someone picks up the phone.

“Y/n ?!” You hear Jungkook scream over the phone before the person holding it hangs up.

You stare up as the phone’s light illuminates the person’s face and you feel a cold wave travel through your body.

“Well hello Y/n” he smirks, “Fancy meeting you here.”

You just stare at his face, Damion looking down at you. Before you feel a hard pain in your head and everything fades to black.

You're woken up by a fist hitting your face. You groan in pain, trying to move away, but you feel your hands tied behind the chair you’re sitting on. The rope cuts into your wrists as you try to move.

You open your eyes, your blurry vision taking in your surroundings. You’re tied to a chair in the middle of an open space what you assume is a warehouse. The brick walls and concrete floor give it away. You see it’s staring to become light outside now, the sun almost rising. That means you’ve been missing for about 10 hours now.

“Welcome back Y/n.” You look up at Damion leaning on the wall in front of you. He slowly make his way over to you and kneels in front of you.

“What do you want?” You glare at him but you can see that he is aware of the panic sinking into your bones. You have no idea how you’re going to get out of this.

“I just want to have a chat,” he grips your bruised face and you flinch as he turns it to the side, inspecting the bruises and digging his fingers into them. “Just like the one I had with your little boyfriend when he called back. He was so worried.” Damion pouts and wipes at something on your forehead, his thumb coming back red from blood that must still be there from when they knocked you out.

Judging by the pounding in your head you’re sure you have a concussion, if not you’re definitely on your way to one if they keep hitting you.

“Jungkook will find me.” You say, certain of your words as you rip your face out of his grasp.

“O no don’t fret, I’m counting on it.” Damion stands up walking a few feet back. “And what will he do when he sees you in this condition I wonder.”

“What?” You question before someone hits you again. You taste blood in your mouth and you spit it out to the side. Damion comes back kneeling before you again but this time with a knife, he presses it against your cheek.

“You see Y/n, we, as in my organisation, have been looking for a way to get to Bangtan for a while now.” He trails the knife down to your collarbone. “And imagine my surprise when I found you, the little weakness to the most feared maknae.” he presses down on the knife cutting into your flesh and you scream as he drags it down.

“You won’t be able to fight him off.” You say through the pain and he widen his eyes at you.

“O we’re not planning to fight him off Y/n.” You frown at his words, but scream again as he cuts into your arm deeply, dragging the knife from your upper arm to your elbow. You can almost count the number of stitches you’ll need as the knife tears through your flesh.

“You see,” he smiles at you as if he didn’t just cut you, “we want to do something much worse.”

He steps away wiping the blood off the knife with a cloth that one of the other men bring him.

“And you little dove,” He bends down to be on your eye level, “are going to help us break him.”

“I will never help you.” You spit out.

He chuckles as one of the men brings something over. “I think you’ll change your mind about that.”

Jungkook’s POV

His breathing is ragged as he slips past another guard. He feels the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his phone vibrating continuously as the others try to reach him.

He can still hear your scream for help ringing in his ears, and the taunting words of Damion after that.

How had he been so stupid? To let you out of his sight, no, how could he not have known one of their enemies were so close?

Yoongi had raced home faster than ever after Jungkook told them what happened. Jimin’s face was hard as he spoke on the phone to Namjoon. Everyone met in the library. Jungkook knows he had screamed a lot especially when they weren’t working as fast as he wanted them to. All he could think about was the fact that you were alone with those men doing who knows what to you. You could be dead for all he knows. The thought still making tears bubble in his sinuses. No, you’re not he will find you and take you, wrap you up and make you some coffee and hope with everything in him that you won’t leave him after this.

He runs past another hallway, flattening himself against a pillar as two men walk past going the other way.

He came alone. He knows the others are following but he couldn’t wait so when Yoongi had finally found your location from your phone Jungkook had rushed out without thinking twice. He ignored the others or the rational part of him that kept whispering that this was too easy. It was too easy to find you, but he doesn’t give a shit as long as he can just find you and have you in his arms again.

Even before you two were actually friends he had vowed to himself to keep you safe. His little roommate with her forever playing true crime videos and pens sticking out of her hair as she studies so hard. He always had a lower member follow you at night to make sure you got home safe. After you became closer he took over that role happily. You were so precious, so sweet how could he not have tried to keep you away from the bad things in the world, the girl who had patched him up when he came home half-dead, the girl that took him to see the fireflies, the girl that he loves. Even when he told you the truth he promised himself he will try to keep you as far away from everything bad surrounding him daily to, ironically, avoid a situation like this.

He peeks around a corner to see two men guarding a door. He assumes that’s where you are.

“She stopped screaming huh?” One of the men comments and Jungkook can feel anger like he’s never felt before rise up inside him.

He sneaks closer using pillars and shadows as cover until he is close enough. He jumps out catching them by surprise because they both drop to the floor a few moments later, knocked out or dead he’s not sure and he doesn’t care right now.

He slowly opens the door, scanning all around before realising it is empty except for you tied to a chair, your head hanging forward.

He rushes forward, you barely acknowledge his presence, only groaning lightly. He cuts the ropes holding your hands. The bruises are a deep purple around your wrists. He also takes note of the cuts on your arm and collarbone and it makes him sick. How could he have let this happen to you?

“Hey baby,” Jungkook kneels before you, lifting your head up to look at you, he bares his teeth at the bruises covering your face, you flinch away from his touch before opening your eyes. Recognition swim in them as you fall forward into his shoulder.

“O Jungkook.” You whisper into his neck.

“I know baby, but we have to get out of here okay, the others are on their way.” He says in a hushed voice, knowing that the sooner he gets you away the less violence you’ll have to see. And there will be violence, nobody touches you and gets away with it.

He tries to get you to move but you don’t budge.

“You have to leave.” You say softly, lifting your head up from his neck.

“What?” He frowns in confusion. “Y/n I’m not leaving you here.”

“Please,” You beg, “You have to go.” You shove at him to try and make him move.

“Y/n…” Jungkook stares at the state you're in, trying to shove him away from you before you still. He sees your pleading eyes move from his, to look over his shoulder. He follows your gazeand is met with Damion and about a dozen men standing with him.

“Welcome Jungkook.” Damion’s opens his arms wide, smiling. Jungkook moves infront of you to shield you.

“You have me now, so let her go.” He growls out to the narcissistic man in front of him. He knows he can take them all, he’s done it before. There is a reason people are scared of him. He just wants to make sure you’re safe first.

“She can go,” Damion waves his hand and smiles. “But you want to do something first don’t you Y/n?”

Jungkook frowns as you stand up behind him, you don’t look at him as you walk past him into Damion’s outstretched arms .

Jungkook is frozen as he watch you walk away from him. He doesn’t even realise the two men that are grabbing onto him before they force him to his knees. His eyes don't leave your figure in the arms of the enemy. Why would you go to him so easily?

Damion hands you something and it takes him a second to realise it’s a gun. “Now just like I told you to do okay?” Damion says into your ear, his arm turning you around and Jungkook struggles at the sight of his hands on you. Damion smiles sinisterly at him from behind you.

You slowly walk to Jungkook, tears stream down your face and Jungkook frowns. What are you doing? He struggles to get to his feet, now that you have a gun he can use it to help him fight these men off.

“Y/n?” He asks trying to have you explain to him what the fuck is happening, because he feels like he is going insane.

“I’m sorry Jungkook.” You whimper, and Jungkook stops struggling as you slowly, as if in slow motion, raise the gun pointing it at his head.

He stares at the barrel of the gun pointed at him and then at your face. You’re crying but there is a certain determination in them that he doesn’t understand. He can feel his heart breaking as he realise what is happening.

You are betraying him.

“Y/n why?” He asks his voice cracking, staring up at you. He is shocked, frozen in place. He knows he can fight back but it’s like all the fight has left him. “ Please I love you.” He begs.

You bite your lip, wiping your tears away with your cut arm streaking your face with blood. You cock the gun, it trembles as it points at his head, but your face is void of emotion now.

“I love you too Jungkook.” You stare directly into his eyes, “ but sometimes, somethings matter more.”

A/N Okay don’t kill me! I am planning a sequel so you can all stop screaming. I hope you did enjoy their little awkward strange love story.

Please let me know your thoughts!

taglist: @scuzmunkie

#bts #bts fic #bts jungkook mafia #BTS jungkook #bts jung jungkook #BTS jimin #bts taehyung #BTS v #bts mafia au #bts mafia fic #bts x reader #bts x female reader #bts x y/n #bts roommate au #bts college au #bts one shot #bts slow burn #bts angst #bts fluff

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taesclub · 10 months

Text

The Wild Child, Act I ✦ BTS

✦ BTS x Fem! Oc's

━━━━━ ( SYNOPSIS. ) She is suddenly forced to attend the all-girls boarding school, St. Victoria's. Determined to break free, she tries to escape. Her only problem? To do so she must go through the neighboring boarding school and its notorious group, the Bangtan boys. Among them, one member captivates her the most, blurring the line between rebellion and romance.

genre. boarding school au, angst, fluff, smut

word count. 4,586

warnings. only curses for now

-ˋˏ masterlist ✦ next ˎˊ-

ACT I.

━━━━━━━━━ ✦

Claire, a tall girl with an eighty's aura and a shag haircut, sits in the passenger seat of her father's car, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. The car hums with tension as they drive down the road, the passing scenery reflecting the girl's inner turmoil. She was about to meet her doom.

She gazes out the window, her expression a mix of anger and frustration. The weight of her resentment hangs heavy in the air.

“I can't believe you're making me go to some stupid all-girls boarding school, Dad. This is so unfair!” she grimaces. This had been her constant complaint ever since receiving the news, but somehow, like a broken record, she still held onto those words, praying it would be enough to make her dad rethink his decision. It wasn’t.

Her father, Mr. Deschamps, a middle-aged man with tired eyes due to his rushed businessman life, glances at her with a mixture of concern and regret. “Claire, we've talked about this. It's a better opportunity for you. You'll have a chance to focus on your studies and discover new interests.” he insists softly.

Claire scoffs, her frustration boiling over.

Her voice sounds angry as she replies, “Better opportunity?! What about my life here? My friends? You're ripping me away from everything I know!”

Her father's grip tightens on the steering wheel, his tone laced with remorse.

“Claire, honey, I didn't make this decision lightly. It's for your future. You'll make new friends, and have new experiences. Please try to understand.”

Claire's gaze remains fixed on the passing scenery, her umbrage simmering beneath her rebellious exterior. “You simply don't get it, Dad,” she says resentfully as the view keeps changing dramatically into a more rural area. “You don't know what it's like to be uprooted from everything familiar, to start over in some stuffy boarding school.”

Her father's voice softens, laced with a tinge of sadness. “I know it's hard, honey,” he admits sincerely. “But sometimes, we must make sacrifices for the greater good. Trust me, I only want what's best for you.”

Claire's anger doesn’t wane, even though she is tempted to soothe at her dad’s words. “Change can be scary, but it also opens doors to new opportunities.” he continues, tenderly. “You're strong, Claire. You'll adapt, and who knows, you might find something incredible out here.”

Her gaze shifts from the passing greenery outside to her father's warm and understanding eyes. She takes a deep breath, slowly releasing the pent-up frustration. There was no point discussing this with him, he would never back up on his word. And the truth was, ever since he got together with that Malibu Barbie wannabe called Blanche, this was destinate to happen. She had waited for the rug to be pulled from under her feet as her distrust in life itself was a rooted injustice carved deep in her heart, but now that it happened, she tried desperately to hold onto a shimmer of hope.

And how tricky it was to expect, to wait for someone else to take the reins of one’s life... No one would come and save her, that was clear. So why not save herself?

“Sure thing, Dad.” Claire mumbles resigned. At least for now.

A bittersweet silence fills the car as they continue their journey, both aware that this new chapter holds challenges and possibilities that neither can fully anticipate. The beginning of a plan to escape the boarding school, however, started to thread like a lightning bolt in the girl’s mind.

She would make sure no one would see it coming. And one thing was certain, Claire Deschamps would never settle into a life in the middle of nowhere, nor a life she hadn’t chosen herself.

━━━━━━━━━ ✦

Claire steps out of her father's car, her jeans bomber jacket with wide shoulders and lots of sewn trinkets contrasting greatly with the more conservative uniforms of the other students passing by. Their plaid skirts had at least two full hands more fabric compared to the black leather one she used.

She takes a deep breath, bracing herself for what lies ahead. Mr. Deschamps opens the trunk, retrieving her suitcase and opening space for two employees to try and lift the big chest full of stickers that also belonged to Claire.

“Here you go, honey.” He hands the lush green suitcase to her. “I hope you find… Some great things here.”

She takes it, grudgingly. “Don’t be so disappointed when I don’t.”

Her father shows a sympathetic smile on his face as he pauses to take in what she had just said. “I understand, Claire.” He opts to say. “Take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

Claire nods, unable to hide her lingering resentment. Her father gives her a last reassuring smile before driving away.

As she sees the Rolls-Royce disappearing on the dirty road, the Headmistress Winters, a stern and composed woman in her fifties whom she had already seen printed on the flyer advertising the school, approaches Claire with an air of authority. The disapproving expression that she wears only exacerbates Claire’s dislike for her furthermore.

“You must be Miss Deschamps, our newest student,” the woman says, inspecting her closer. “I trust you had a pleasant journey?”

To that, Claire rolls her eyes discreetly, her guard already up. “Oh, joy,” she mutters under her breath.

Putting on a polite facade, the Headmistress takes a step further, “As you know, I am Headmistress Winters. Your father and I talked on the phone. Welcome to St. Victoria’s Academy. Here we expect our students to uphold the highest standards of discipline and academic excellence.” She waves her hand in a high class and fluid motion, introducing the grand structure of the school behind her.

There is a moment of silence as Claire fights the urge to scoff, her skepticism apparent.

“Sounds like a real party,” she mutters dryly under her breath.

Headmistress Winters's eyes narrow not catching what the girl has to say, however, judging by the lack of excitement on Claire’s part and her many years of experience when it came to building character, she maintains her composed demeanor. She knows a troublemaker when she sees one.

With thinly veiled annoyance she adds firmly, “Respect and compliance are expected from all students, Claire. You'll find that St. Victoria’s Academy offers numerous opportunities for personal development and camaraderie. I suggest you keep an open mind.”

Claire's expression remains guarded, her disdain for the headmistress palpable the more words fell from her mouth. Her tone is pure cynicism as she answers. “Sure, Mrs. Winters. I'll keep an open mind while I'm here.”

Begrudgingly, she follows the older woman through the school's grand entrance, the imposing architecture and hushed conversations heightening her unease.

The Hall of Entrance in the all-girls boarding school exudes an air of elegance and tradition. Polished marble floors stretch out beneath the students' feet, reflecting the soft glow of the chandeliers that hang overhead. Tall, arched windows line the walls, allowing sunlight to filter in and cast a warm, inviting glow on the surroundings.

As Claire steps into the hall after the Headmistress, she is greeted by a flurry of activity. Girls in crisp uniforms pass by more eagerly than the ones she saw outside, their eyes darting to and fro, their hushed whispers carrying snippets of gossip. The hall becomes a stage for both fellowship and rivalry, as cliques form and dissolve with each passing moment.

The sound of clicking heels and rustling skirts mingles with the gentle murmur of conversation, creating a symphony of feminine energy. Some girls walk with confidence, their heads held high, while others seem more reserved, their eyes darting nervously as they try to find their place within the social hierarchy.

Portraits of past headmistresses and notable alumnae adorn the walls, their stern gazes reminding the students of the institution's legacy and the high expectations placed upon them. Some peak Claire’s attention. One of the spaces in particular, the one dedicated to the sports league, shows boys’ teams and trophies they earned against them, but she can’t find the right moment to ask what it is about as Mrs. Winters walks like a thunderstorm.

The aroma of freshly polished wood and the faint hint of perfume linger in the air making her curiosity calmly dissipate, creating an atmosphere that is both refined and pansy.

A grand staircase, its banisters intricately carved, leads to the upper levels of the school. It serves as a focal point, drawing the eyes of the girls as they ascend and descend, their interactions playing out on the stage of the hall.

Claire becomes acutely aware of the watchful eyes as she makes her way through the bustling crowd, trailing the steps of Mrs. Winters. Some girls shoot her curious glances, sizing her up and speculating about the newcomer. Whispers trail in her wake, snippets of conversation filled with intrigue and speculation.

Mrs. Winters then suddenly turns to face her once more, revealing behind her shoulder line a girl who matches Claire’s height, with bangs and a cascade of hazel hair. The girl’s warm and open expression contrasts greatly with Claire’s defensive demeanor.

Noticing Claire’s disinterest, Mrs. Winters starts, “Let me introduce you to your new roommate, Claire. She’ll help you settle in.”

Extending her hand politely and rather excitedly, the girl before her greets, “Hi! I'm Ella. It’s really nice to meet you!”

Claire reluctantly shakes Ella's hand, her guard still up. Frustrated by the already lack of choice on her end she mumbles, “Yeah, hi.”

Headmistress Winters nods curtly, signaling the end of their interaction. “Miss Dubois, why don’t you show Claire to your dormitory and explain how things work around here? I was in the middle of a rather urgent matter when she arrived...”

Without missing a beat, Ella promptly nods, understanding the task at hand. “Sure thing, Headmistress. Follow me, roomie!”

The newfound nickname makes Claire hiss internally like a cornered cat, but she plays the part, thankful to finally get herself rid of the Headmistress's presence.

Before the two of them can walk further away, Mrs. Winters dismissively points again, “Very well, off you go. Make sure you familiarize yourself with the rules and expectations of this institution, Miss Deschamps.”

Claire raises an eyebrow, her rebellious spirit flickering to life. “I'll keep that in mind, Headmistress,” she replies defiantly, turning her back to the woman.

Leaving the bustling hall and the scrutinizing eyes of the older woman, Claire turns to Ella, a sense of complicity forming between them as she notices how much more relaxed her new guide seems to be.

Smiling, Ella reassures her. “I promise this is not all as daunting as it seems.” Claire takes a deep breath, her apprehension giving way to a glimmer of hope. She follows Ella, ready to navigate the challenges of this new environment, determined to find her place amidst the rules and expectations she so vehemently resents. Who knows?, she thinks, maybe her new roommate can give her an escape route without even noticing. She could be escaping St. Victoria’s much earlier than she had predicted.

━━━━━━━━━ ✦

Claire wasn’t convinced if Ella had what it takes to be her newfound ally. The headmistress seemed to trust her enough which made her either valuable to the plan or a stone in her shoe. Although Claire was pending more to the former since the girl seemed very friendly as they kept a light conversation and she led the way through the bustling hallways. More often than not, the veteran would gush about her own friends as she vibrantly pointed to Claire how their day-to-day was, and for moments, more than to seek intel to architect her plan, the brunette found herself momentarily forgetting about her purpose as she got infected by Ella’s contagious energy.

Their footsteps echo softly as they step onto the serene patio, where blooming flowers and neatly trimmed hedges create a serene oasis within the school grounds. The sound of laughter and animated conversations drifts through the air as girls gather in small groups, enjoying moments of respite and fellowship.

Claire’s eyes scan the scenery, and they get caught in the ruckus three girls are making right by the center fountain of the patio. The one standing in the middle, a blonde with a high ballerina bun, dances excitedly as she flashes a knitted scarf to her peers. “You think JK will like it?” Her voice travels through the open space as she points specifically to the initials engraved in it.

Noticing Claire’s mind is far away from whatever she is saying, Ella leans closer, whispering, “That’s Vivienne for you,” she chuckles as Claire’s glance shifts quickly back, “Everyone calls her Vivi and you’ll soon hate her too, trust me.”

To that statement, Claire’s eyes return inquiring to Ella’s, her nose scrunching in doubt.

“You see, she delusionally believes she and some trouble boy are meant to be. We’re all tired to hear about it, or witness moments like this.” Ella points with her head to the blonde once more. “There she goes, making him a scarf he won’t probably use. Tell me about waste of time!”

Claire mildly snorts entertained, looking at the scene as well. “Poor girl.”

“Oh, believe me!” Ella exhales, walking away and her roommate follows, “That one is nothing of the sort. Imagine Regina George in real life. That’s her, right there.”

In a lack of response from the brunette, Ella gestures towards a row of benches shaded by a grand oak tree. ”Anyways, this is our patio, Claire. It's the perfect spot to relax and soak up some sunshine during breaks. And see over there? That's the canteen.”

The delicious aroma of freshly cooked meals fills the air as soon as they step closer to the precinct. Girls line up at the serving counter, chatting and exchanging stories as they eagerly await their turn. The room is alive with vibrant colors, with posters and artwork adorning the walls, adding a touch of creativity to the space.

“We refuel here, obviously.” Ella glances excited to see Claire’s reaction. “The food is surprisingly good, and there's always a variety of options to choose from… Well. When the boys don’t join, that is. They can be savages.” she chuckles nonchalantly.

Suddenly Claire’s eyes perk with curiosity. Every bit of information she had gathered about the school before arriving said this was an all-girls academy, but then again, there were existent photos of boys displayed in the hall. Not to say Vivienne’s parade a second ago. Do they have a day off?, she muses, Could this be an opportunity? “What do you mean boys? Isn’t this an all-girls school?” she voices her thoughts as Ella takes the lead again, taking her on another stroll.

The energetic roommate greets some girls that pass by them with a sympathetic smile before returning her focus to the newcomer beside her.

“Well, yeah. The Alarie boarding school for boys is right across the river, and we often have classes together. You know, lack of teachers in the far countryside.” she shrugs.

Before she can inquire further, Ella is already distracted, smiling at the passersby.

“With Jimin? Again?! God, what’s her secret!” They hear a girl gasp to a friend as they crossways.

Oh. I see..., Claire’s thoughts put the pieces together. She quickly looks at the hazel-haired girl making her company.

By the raise of eyebrows that she gives her and the flicker of frolic that flashes in her eyes, Ella is quick to warn, “It’s strictly forbidden to hang out with them boys, Claire. No smogging. No funny hands.”

“But she just-” Claire refuted pointing behind her shoulders to the girl that passed by sharing her indignation a bit too loudly.

Ella gave her a warning yet laid-back glance, “Alright, people go on with it in secret but as you can see, nothing is really a secret around here. And then when you least expect it, bam! You’re in trouble!”

“Are they at least hot? Or I don’t know... Worth the trouble?”

Ella thinks for a second and then shrugs with a naivety Claire knows to be fake, “How would I know?”

“If you say so!” Claire pretends to salute dramatically, a bickering well read by the other as to the current square state the Academy insisted on following rules. And so, Ella pulls her to a quick jog entertained, and a bit tempted to show her new roommate she also knew how to break a few of them. Even if the rules she was breaking weren’t as grand as Claire deemed them to be. The students passing by confirmed the thought as they judged their behavior, and Claire laughed even louder at their tedious conformism. The rule about not running in the hallways was true indeed.

As they arrive at their shared dormitory, their footsteps grow softer as they enter the hushed ambiance of the living quarters. The dormitory is a cozy space adorned with tasteful decorations, featuring two neatly made beds, desks adorned with books and personal touches, and small corkboards for photos and reminders.

Ella jumps to sit on her own bed, bouncing on the mattress as she does so. “And here we are,” she gestures. “Our humble abode. It may not be the biggest, but it's home.”

Claire looks around the room, a hint of curiosity dancing in her eyes as she imagines the memories that will unfold within these walls, even if for brief moments. Ella seems a nice girl, but she won’t be around to discover much more about her. She needs to escape this. Her real friends await in the big city.

“Yeah, it's not bad…”

Ella grins with the comment, her warmth shining through.

“We'll make it cozy, you’ll see,” she says encouragingly. “Plus, you still have to meet my girls! They are rooming right in front of us. It’s great to share stuff and to keep gossip in day!” She laughs at her own behavior.

As Claire sets her suitcase down and begins to unpack, a bit aloof to her roommate’s words, a newfound sense of optimism fills the room. To Ella is the beginning of a new friendship, even if her roommate was a hard one to crack. But she was patient, everyone had their personal time after all. To Claire, it is a journey through a path she had never charted before, but her father was right about one thing---she is strong. And she will prevail.

“We’ll meet them in a few!” Ella continues, snapping Claire out of her thoughts, “They went to pick up your uniforms for you.”

Claire eyes her with gratitude, showing for the first time a smile, even if timid, and her roommate mimicked the action. Only hers was as big as her enthusiasm for finally having a friend to share her bedroom with.

Still sitting by her bed, Ella watches as Claire takes only her toiletries out of her green suitcase, as well as a portrait of her and what the girl gathered to be her mom. The tall wild child discards the pouch with her cosmetics by the bed, as she walks toward the bedside table, closely placed to the window, adjusting the portrait on top of it. Her clothes, still inside the suitcase, didn’t seem important and were left forgotten still inside it, untouched. Or so Ella thought so.

“Your mom is beautiful,” she comments gently, looking at how Claire’s eyes seem to hover with longing at the picture.

The brunette opens a small smile, thanking her roommate almost in a whisper, eyes still glued to the image of her mom. How she missed her.

And then suddenly a loud pang interrupts the moment, making her jump and Ella scream. Startled by the sudden impact of a ball against her bedroom window, she had fallen back onto her bed, her heart racing. She swiftly rises and storms towards the window again, fueled by annoyance and ready to unleash her frustration on the culprit responsible.

Seething with anger, Claire flings open the window of her dorm room on the second floor, ready to give the culprit a piece of her mind. Ella knees on her bed to look at the indicted herself. “Shit.” She manages to say.

Claire’s words, however, catch in her throat as she locks eyes with a boy she has never seen before, and taking by Ella’s reaction beside her, it was clear that wasn’t her case, her roommate knew him.

His mischievous grin and charismatic presence immediately captivate her, and a flicker of curiosity replaces her initial anger. Still, she stands her ground and through gritted teeth, she lashes, “What's your problem?!”

Both girls watch as he brings casually one of his hands to shield his eyes from the sun, his smile gleaming with amusement.

“Oh, I apologize, princess,” he says charmingly. “You weren’t supposed to-” he trails off, “Well, I wasn’t looking to make an impression on you but now…” he considers, his smile doubling the size.

Claire tries to maintain her composure, but there's an undeniable pull towards the Alarie’s boy that she can't ignore.

“Impression?” She scoffs slightly flustered, “If it’s at being stupid, you've certainly succeeded. Who are you anyway?”

The boy takes a step closer toward the shade of the tall building to see her better, a playful glint in his eyes as he keeps looking up chuckling at her response.

With a smirk, he replies. “You didn’t hear of me? I'm Jungkook,” he says as if it explains a lot, with a smugness that makes Claire crazy to punch out of his face. “I go to the Alarie’s, right next door.”

“JK!” another boy shouts from a distance, and Claire’s eyes travel to the field to meet the face of Jungkook’s peer. A group of boys is joyfully hanging out there, waiting for him.

As her eyes turn back to him, standing beneath her window, with a raised eyebrow, Jungkook says with yet another chuckle, “You never told me your name.”

She sneers, “And I won’t.”

Despite her refusal, Claire can't help but feel a certain curiosity pull toward Jungkook. His confidence and charm leave her intrigued, even if she tries to deny it or finds it too brazen.

Jungkook sends another intrigued look her way, a hint of mischief in his voice.

“Don't worry, princess. I’ll find it soon enough.” that answer only makes her blood boil further. “Besides, life's too short to be boring, don't you think? I like the mystery.” He shrugs with a smile, picking the rugby ball that was fallen by his feet, and starting to walk back. He turns once again to see her reaction, raising his voice as he adds, “And tell your rat roommate that the next one is meant for her!” He lifts the ball in his hand as if he raised a toast.

“I'm not fucking interested in your idea of excitement, Jungkook. Save your charm for someone else!” She shouts defiantly but he only laughs in response, now fully turning his back and jogging swiftly toward his friends.

She can't help but watch his back and carefree stance, even if Ella’s presence is made heard by her side. Under rushed and muted curses, the girl gets up from the bed, initiating an anxious breakdown as she paced back and forth inside their bedroom.

Claire’s gaze finally moves away from the window to fall upon her roommate’s state. “Not that it’s any of my business, but... You wanna talk about it?” she asks, gaining no response apart from a full stop on the pacing and Ella’s hands coming to a desperate grip on her own locks.

“Ella!” Claire calls her, closing the distance between them, “Hey, what’s going on?” The change of attitude of the girl was so brusque from her previous joyful self that it got her worried.

She gently touched her shoulder, and Ella’s eyes finally found her own. “I’m totally, completely, fucked.” She confesses finally.

“What happened? Is it about this Jungkook guy?”

The hazel-haired girl gives her a nod and Claire’s eyebrows knit together. She manages to inhale, ready to question further but they are interrupted by the cheerful tinkle of shoes and greetings.

“We got it!” It’s what she hears as she looks at the door to their room that had been left open. Two girls enter the space, both shorter than Ella and her. They look excited, probably having fun on the way there.

“Hi! You must be the new girl,” The shortest one says, giving her a cordial smile. She has her long honey-blonde hair held back by a bow. “I’m Lola, this is Avery...”

“And this is your uniforms!” While Lola has a royal aura to her, somewhat restrained and charismatic, Avery seems more upfront and girly. Her hair is like coal and so glossy that it shines hues of dark blue in the light.

Taking the folded clothes from her hands with a smile of her own, Claire introduces herself. “Thank you, I’m Claire. And you really didn’t have to do it-”

“It’s totally fine, we wanted to!” Lola insists bubbly, waving off, and the brunette smiles thankful.

The blonde walks her way toward Ella’s bed, familiar enough to sit on it as she grabs a pillow to hug as she did so.

“Girls. He knows.” To Claire’s relief, Ella finally enters the conversation. “I hate myself!” She adds, grunting.

She notices how the other two react fervently to the comment as she places the pile of uniforms on top of her bed, ceasing to be the focus of their attention. They look at Ella with staring eyes, clearly on topic but still indignant about the rest of the information that still doesn’t come.

“What do you mean he knows?!” Avery is the first to question. “How would he know? There were no boys in class that day...”

To which Lola quickly made a comment with a nudge at her waist, “I told you there was! Louis, remember?”

At the same time, Ella explained. “Now Jungkook sent a stupid ball flying up the window on purpose. After my head of course!”

While Claire looked from one to another trying to unveil the situation, both Avery and Lola unleashed a series of wroth exclamations, to what Ella took part in instead of actually providing a clearer explanation.

“I’m sorry.” Claire interrupted. “But can someone situate me here? What does this Jungkook know? And why is it a big deal? I’m lost.” She had a notion she was being brazen as she wasn’t close to the three friends before her, but not a couple minutes before she had witnessed a boy sending a warning in the shape of a rugby ball to her roommate. If this was to continue while she stayed there, she needed to know at least the basics.

Avery and Lola look from her to Ella apprehensively waiting. So this is mildly important, she thinks. And then the latter sighs.

“I wasn’t completely honest with you about the boys’ part...”

To that statement, Claire slowly realizes that there may be more to this school than meets the eye, and consequently, more that she needs to unravel to make her flight seem a mystery. Glancing out of the window, Alerie’s boarding school for boys is starting to feel like a needed pit stop, as it stands tall between St. Victoria’s building and her much-wanted freedom.

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bluenpjm · 11 months

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horus academy 5 — bts x oc

@singguks × @socksjinie × @bluenpjm

summary: in a school where greek methods rules, not everything is as clear as it appears to be. heart, mind, soul, and body. those are the teams of the horus academy and boarding school. but deep within the long corridors, lies dark secrets. the so-called loving families formed in the shapes of teams begin to tear when an anonymous source unravels their deepest secrets.

genre: high school au | mystery au | social au | angst | fluff

pairing: OT7 × OC’s

rating: M

word count: 15.2k

warnings: foul language, friends fighting, getting stalked, lies and threats, bullying. really, a lot of fights and harsh words.

chapters. 04, 05, 06 ✹ masterlist

Three days had passed since the games and the rumor still hadn’t died down.

People would stare and bluntly gossip whenever Jimin or even the rest of the group passed by in the halls. And the worst of it, for the group itself, was that the realization of it was indeed shocking. It was one thing being the talk of the hour because of teenage behavior regarding breaking into the boys' dorm rooms… Another was actually sleeping with a teacher while being a minor.

At first, Jimin had the brilliant idea of wanting to skip biology class on Tuesday morning, which everyone was against. It was decided that he would not only go to class as a normal and not guilty student would, but he was to behave and cut all communication with his lover for a little while. Just until the rumor died down and he could come to his senses and end the rendezvous himself.

Kaya, the one sharing biology class with him, kept a hawk’s watch on his moves. And Jimin was actually doing his best. She could easily buy the facade he was putting up. The one inciting fire to the rumor was Miss Bellum herself, who couldn’t help but look at the boy from time to time. And if Kaya was noticing it, the gossiping leeches were too.

As soon as the bell rang, Kaya shoved her notebooks into her purse and pulled Jimin by the arm, dragging him out of the class. His backpack was still half opened and he had to carry the biology textbook in his hand.

She turned the first corner she came into, and went down a few steps of the stairs, coming to a stop in its middle. Jimin looked at her completely lost, glancing at his sides to see if people were passing by or judging the moment as weird as he was.

“Wha–” he tried but she interrupted him in pure frustration.

“I can’t believe you told her!” she burst, still trying to be as quiet as possible so no one could hear. And before he had a chance to come up with a lie or an excuse to stall, Kaya continued. “Don’t even try and pretend you didn’t. She looked at you the whole time as if the world was ending and you were some abandoned dog!”

Jimin glanced back at the corridor before answering, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched all the time. “I had to, ok?” a tired sigh left his lips, and Kaya held her tongue so she could let him speak. Before continuing his reasoning, he put the textbook in his backpack, all while the girl looked anxiously at him. “She texted me on Sunday–Just to check on me after the fight with Archie! Relax!”

“How. Will. I. Relax, Park Jimin!” she slapped his arms outraged while he tried to evade it.

He searched for words but nothing seemed good enough so he opted to hug her instead. Kaya was as much on edge as he was. This wasn’t just a vendetta against him, this was a deliberate attack on the whole group. “Listen, I promised you guys I wouldn’t be in touch with her anymore and I’m not. But she deserved to know what was happening, so I told her, ok? Just so that if anything happened–If any student said something, she wouldn’t be caught unprepared. It was the least I could do.”

Kaya nodded in understanding. She could at least breathe more at ease, and she held Jimin for a few seconds more, wishing that she could wake up from this nightmare named You.

Before their moment of peace could last a little longer, Jimin’s phone buzzed in his front pocket, taking an arrow straight at both his and Kaya’s heart. Not again, he feared.

They broke away from the embrace. She anchored herself on the wall behind her, crossing her arms to form a shield against whatever was coming their way. Jimin, in turn, reached for the device while mustering the courage he still had.

Kaya saw his eyes reading the message but she couldn’t decipher his face. From where she was standing, and the way his eyebrows slightly furrowed, it didn’t look good. She gulped. “So?”

“It’s Tae.” he said apprehensively, taking a quick look at her face.

The air escaped her lips and he saw her entire body relax. Recomposing herself she questioned, “You still haven’t talked about it?” to which he shook his head. “Well… Good luck with that.”

With a not-so-cheerful pat on his shoulder, Kaya was quick to leave her friend on the empty flight of stairs to resume her schedule.

The sun shined bright in the sky, and although Elena was lying down on their usual table bench outside, she couldn’t seem to enjoy the warm beaming on her skin peacefully.

Yoongi, Jin, and Jungkook sat by the table with her, while they waited for the twins to grab something from the cafeteria for their lunch. And although two of them were contributing to her quiet beauty nap, Jin couldn’t help but throw in assumptions of who could possibly be You.

“Listen, I wouldn’t doubt that Archie was psycho enough to just come at us,” Elena could hear him say, “I’m just saying it isn’t his style at all to come at someone through social media.” and although none of them responded to it, she could tell that both Yoongi and Jungkook were thinking about his reasoning because so was she. Jin had a point. And so he continued rambling, “He’s too… Aggressive to be just like–Oh I know your secret ha ha ha! I feel like he would at least brag about it while taking a punch at our beautiful faces.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi agreed. “The problem here is that we know nothing about this You person to even try and assume who it is…”

A defeated silence followed. It was enough for Elena to open her eyes, only to have to turn her face on the bench so as to not be blinded by the light. She couldn’t see the boys, since they were all sitting on the other side of the table, but she could watch how some students passed by. Even from far away, they would glance at them with judgemental eyes. She inhaled impatiently.

“What’s taking them so long, by the way?” Jin was the kind of person that lived in the moment. And at this moment at least, food was more important. Elena’s stomach would agree, but her head was seething with possibilities. And so she sat up, making the three boys before her pay attention.

She inquired, “What if we got to know something about You?” they looked at her pondering. “Even the smallest detail would help, right?”

“And how we’d manage that?” Jungkook finally spoke up, while the older two were already pondering for themselves.

All they did until now was wait around and be there whenever You decided to use them as punching bags. Elena was fed up with it. There had to be some way to strike back. Plus, in her head, if this You person was working alone, they would have the advantage. They were a whole group.

“Why don’t we counter-strike on social media? Since it’s this loser's playground and all. I figure that if we manage to have everyone’s support and throw this shade at them like they’ve been obviously throwing at us, You will lose it.” she said, crossing her legs on the bench. The thing was not to add more to the fire but she felt the need to make this You person realize they knew how to stand tall as a group. Elena could picture herself receiving all this negative attention alone, and if that were the case she didn’t think she would like it very much or even be that secure to repeat the process all over again.

Jin sighed. He recognized that she was right but at the same time, it would be a bold move. “What would we even say? Again, we don’t know who this person is… So we don’t know how to push their buttons.”

“How about we start at the ‘You’re behind a screen because you don’t have the balls to come say it to my face’ part?”

As Jungkook tried to hold his laughter and Yoongi pensively looked down with his arms crossed, Jin was obliged to answer Elena’s thoughts. “That seems well articulated to me.” he nodded in agreement.

“Well, good, let’s watch how this rat squirms after I turn some sides then,” She added, making a go for her mobile that had been forgotten on top of the stone table. The girl managed to unlock the device and tap on the app to start writing before Yoongi made himself heard again.

He started by saying, “I don’t think this is a good idea, Elena.” which made her stop what she was doing to look at him. “You’re going to provoke them, and then what?”

How she exhaled and gesticulated with her free hand made him know she was fed up to the point of quitting too much explanation. Jin for the first time got quiet, and Jungkook’s eyes were once again doing that thing when he got apprehensive; they would double the size. “I get it. I know what you mean by wanting to know their next move. You’re going to try and fit them into a team and track them down that way. Maybe even scare them enough to not come after us again. But it’s an unsure move. What if it gets worse? I don’t know…” Yoongi tried to reason with her before something else blew right in their faces.

“I mean. It can’t get worse than this!” she looked around and so did Yoongi. People kept gossiping and scrutinizing their every move. “We need to take action. You know that.”

And before anyone could say anything else, she finished writing it and pressed send.

There was some comfort in Elena’s post, even if no one said much more about it. She treated the situation as if all of the things they were exposed for doing were nothing but mere rumors, and there was a big relief on that. Almost as if they could resume what they have known before as normal school life.

“If you two took a bit more to arrive here I swear I would pass out of hunger.” Jin pointed out as soon as he saw Taehyung and Freya approach them, each holding two silver trays full of food.

The boys were quick to organize the table and pick their plates to start eating, failing to notice how Freya’s glance was locked with Elena’s. Taehyung almost managed to sit in the middle of the two, if it weren’t for his twin shoving him to the side.

As soon as she passed her legs through and managed to sit, she whispered in Elena’s ear, “Care to fill me in on what that post was about?”

“I’m just relieved I said something back” she confided, “We really needed a win around here.”

“You did good,” Freya agreed cheerfully. They looked at each other and realizing what she had just said, she tried to fix it, “Not you as in You but like. You.” she pointed out and Elena couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh forget it! You know what I meant.”

Out of the whole group, everyone met up during lunch, as per usual. Everyone but Namjoon and Jimin. The former had to skip it because of the captain’s duties. Psykhe’s leader had to stay longer in a monthly meeting about their team’s expenses and such.

Jimin, however, was being avoidant. Taehyung knew him well enough to know that.

He knew that as soon as he texted him saying they needed to talk, the first thing Jimin would do was this—avoid him at all costs. So excusing himself politely from the table, Taehyung went back to the cafeteria and picked some chicken wings with sauce as a peace offering, making his way to the boys’ dorms.

It was actually the perfect time for some privacy, as the majority of people were hanging on the patio for lunch and Jimin’s roommate, Hoseok, was also out.

He had to knock two times before the door was answered. Jimin opened it sporting nothing but a towel around his waist. He didn’t say much, just made way so Taehyung could come into the room.

The tallest stopped by the beds, feeling a little out of place because of his best friend’s unbothered eyes and sudden irresolvable stance. He hesitated with the box of chicken wings still in his hands. Jimin kept moving around in false pretense, entering the bathroom and then coming out of it seconds later with a smaller towel in hand, using it to boyishly dry his drenched locks.

Deciding to approach carefully, Taehyung said, “Brought you some lunch,” he slightly lifted his hand showing the white squared box that transpired a mouth-watering smell. “The canteen was about to close, so…”

Jimin gave him a small smile in return, still busy with his chore. “Thanks.”

“Alright.”

The food was placed at the closest writing table. Taehyung had to press his lips to contain his inner fuming. He turned around to face his best friend with a wave of anger he was finding quite difficult to contain.

His hands found his hips as he managed to say, “So you’re the one that gets to be mad at me? Not the other way around? I see.”

“Oh please, quit the sarcasm” Jimin spits quite impatiently himself.

“Sure. Just as soon as you cut the bullshit.” Taehyung said almost immediately demanding from his best friend what they haven’t gotten ever since the secret had been out. The courage to face the truth.

Jimin had a very different reaction from what Taehyung had envisioned for what was to come. He saw how his best friend rolled his eyes before answering, and Jimin’s voice sounded tired as he said, “Not you too.” he exhaled.

Taehyung looked at him with daggers in his eyes. His eyebrows twitched questioning, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Excuse me?!” was all that he managed to blurt out.

“Go on. Spit it. I know you also have something to say.”

Still taken aback by Jimin’s reaction he scoffs. “Are you being serious?” His stance is as cold as the resentment he was feeling. His chest was about to explode due to the unfairness of the situation. The words fell short no matter what he thought of saying, and so he muted himself. The chocolate locks boy just stood there looking at his friend, feeling just as hurt.

Impatient, Jimin ran his hand through his hair. “That was why you came here with the wings! Or do you think I’m stupid?” he said, panting in anger. His normally cheerful eyes were big and glossy. “We’ve been avoiding this talk long enough so just say whatever it is that you have to say.” his chest kept rising and falling in the heat of the moment.

The boy before him had to take a second to answer. He stopped biting his tongue and all that fell from his mouth was the beginning of sarcastic laughter. Taehyung shook his head, scanning the room before meeting Jimin’s eyes again. “Yes.” He began, and the room turned to ice. “You do seem stupid after saying that.” he paused but Jimin wasn’t able to answer. A knot began forming in his throat. “And were we avoiding it?” Taehyung corrected with a pert yet sad smile, “Or were you? Because I didn’t see you coming to me to talk about it.”

Without much thinking, Jimin scoffed. “Stupid?” His words were laced with anger but his features told a different tale. “What else are you holding? C’mon, let it all out.”

There was a pause. And a strike of realization from both ends.

Taehyung exhaled. His eyebrows were knit together as his words began more paused and controlled than before. “I’m holding the fact that my best friend seems more eager to blame me than to actually understand what I really came here to do.” By the time his angry eyes meet Jimin’s, the latter feels drowned by his own guilt. “I’m not everyone else, you know…” Taehyung’s voice sounds hurtful. “I thought you knew that.”

Jimin only understands his best friend had left the room as the sound of the door being hammered echoes. The anger consumes him and in a bashful split second, he grabs the first thing that comes into hand. Hoseok’s lamp is thrown at the wall.

The din followed by scattered glass on the floor made him conscious of the mess he had just made. And that any mess could turn messier than what was thought possible.

One by one the group started to disperse. The lunch break was a very needed one, but everything good in life came to an end.

Yoongi was mindlessly scrolling his timeline in search of new song recommendations when he realized his friends had already moved on with their affairs. As he got up and grabbed his things he spotted Freya from afar. The girl was sitting by a big oak tree, basking in its welcoming shade.

He had to get closer to note she had her eyes peacefully closed. There was a slight breeze that blew softly on her locks. From where he was standing, it looked like she was in a painting.

“Not that is any of my business,” he said, plumping himself down right next to her. “But as your current fake boyfriend, I should say… Your brother sucks!” he joked, making her open a cheerful smile.

With her eyes still closed, she asked, “What did he do this time?”

“Well… He’s been hinting that he wanted to talk to me for a while now, you know–About us. But we still haven’t had the chance… All this You stuff and all.” Freya opens her eyes as she hears Yoongi sigh. “And now ever since Jimin’s thing came out he’s been all stressed.”

The girl took a glance at him. Yoongi kept his eyes on the horizon, and if she knew him well enough, his head was spinning trying to find a practical solution to this mess. Even if his semblance was calm and composed. “And he’s been taking it out on you,” Freya states.

“And he’s been taking it out on me, yeah.”

Even though the boy beside her laughed about it, she knew it was bothering him deep down. She noticed how Taehyung was sharp and borderline surly to Yoongi during lunch. Her brother could be a bit too transparent about his feelings, never knowing how to suppress them. And she had a perfect notion she was a bit too much the same.

“If it serves any consolation to you, he criticized my footwear of choice today,” she opts to say, keeping a light mood by clinking the heels of her recently acquired cowboy boots. Yoongi can’t help but laugh. Freya, as well as her brother, had always liked using questionable things when it came to fashion. And the thought of the twins having a discussion about the item can’t seem to leave his head. It felt so ridiculous that it immediately brought a smile to his face.

Freya laughed along, pleased to hear his own loud one.

Yoongi steals a glance at her as he leans his head on the trunk of the tree behind them. It’s been a while since they had been this peaceful, and he would hate to end the moment but at the same time, he felt the need to check on her. “And how have you been? On a more serious note.”

“Same old same”

“Freya.” He presses still looking at her profile. The girl sighs reluctantly and Yoongi can see the joy fading from her distant eyes.

She turns her head so she can face him and give him the answers upon his request, as she sees no way out of it, but as soon as she opens her mouth she gets interrupted. “Hey!” her eyes leave Yoongi’s face and land on Jungkook’s. “Sorry…” The boy says as Yoongi’s gaze on him feels like a rebuke. As if he had interrupted a conversation that wasn’t made for his ears. “I–Mhmm… I hope I’m not interru–”

“Hi!” Freya exclaimed with a sunny smile returned to her lips. “No, no! Sit!”

Jungkook smiled along, doing as instructed, sitting in front of the pair. He rested his backpack by his knee as he sat cross-legged. “The bell rang and I have a free period right now, so…” Freya bit a smile as he fumbled with his shoelace still convinced he had to explain himself. “Everyone went their way and then as I came back from the canteen I saw you guys here–”

“Oh fuck!” Yoongi grunts getting up. He swiftly bats the dirt from his trousers and grabs his own backpack under the gaze of the other two.

Freya chuckles in realization, “You’re late again aren’t you?”

The boy flashes her a guilty gummy smile before confessing, “Pretty much! Mrs. Hough is going to kill me… Again!” He doesn’t take any more time before starting to run downhill with a lack of youthful spirit considering his age. “And we’re not finished!” Yoongi adds with a wink as he looks back at Freya, and Jungkook can’t help but wonder. The two looked nothing like a couple. Or maybe it was just his lack of experience in the matter talking.

“So.” His eyes leave Yoongi’s back as he hears Freya say. When he looks at her he can’t help but gulp.

“So…” Jungkook repeats her words. It had been a while since they last stood alone in each other’s presence, that specific day in the Wolf’s den dawning in his conscience, even so, guilt pairing in his heart or not, he had always felt intimidated by her stare. From the beggining. And sometimes he was convinced that if he got himself locked in her eyes long enough she would be able to read him like a book. Unravel all that there is to him. Nervously he adds, “You come here often?”

Freya’s immediate reaction is to laugh. A burst of genuine laughter. There was something to his dorkiness that made her feel very comfortable. “Honestly? This is the first time I spend this free period here,” She decides to open up to his roleplay game. “I’m trying to find my new best place.”

“And what does it take to be your new best place?”

It seemed only natural to her to keep being true while looking at him. No need to even think before answering. “I’d say privacy is the first thing.” But to his insecure ears that sounded like a sign that he had crossed a line with her. “Ouch!” he lets out, finally breaking eye contact to look at the grass rubbing at his shoes instead.

Realizing he misunderstood what she had said, she comes forward nudging his shoulder playfully. “Not you though!” He analyses her features again, a tad expectant. “You can exist with me.” Her voice sounds velvety and he feels the smile tugging on the corner of his mouth once more.

With a faint of pink coloring his scarred cheek he asks, “And what’s the second requirement?” to which she answers promptly, “Mmm, I’d say a great view!”

“And then?” Jungkook asks without realizing it, almost in a whisper. She had his full attention, and his brain couldn’t stop trying to match the nooks and crannies he had already seen around the school to fit her description.

To her, much like to everyone else, the raven-haired boy before her couldn’t help but exude mysteriousness. A black translucent cloth covered him at all times from everyone’s curiosity. And it wasn’t shyness or just introspection. Freya had Yoongi to thank for being able to spot the difference. But sometimes, when the world outside seemed quiet enough–when there were just the two of them, she felt like she could glimpse the boy beneath such covers. In a trance, she mumbles just as quietly as he did before, “That’s it for now…”. They keep quiet for a moment, just enjoying each other’s features. If someone passed by them, they could easily mistake the moment for a stare competition, and the two competitors would miss the presence of the bystander just as easily.

A sudden beep causes Freya to inhale sharply and Jungkook to jolt. Both of them exchange embarrassed chuckles as the girl takes her phone out to see what had snapped them to the real world. Jungkook eyes her expectant.

She shrugs, tucking the device into her backpack once again. “It’s Yoongi.”

“So the teacher didn’t kill him this time, huh”

Freya leaned on the tree with a cheeky smile. She crossed her arms saying, “Not this time, no” as she watched how he fixed his backpack on the ground so he could rest his head comfortably on it.

More silence follows. Jungkook keeps his eyes trailed to the scenery displayed to his right. He watches mindlessly as some students cross the greenery toward the main building. From time to time, when the wind hits his face, he feels compelled to close his eyes for seconds before opening them again. Freya doesn’t look at the view as he does. She couldn’t care less about those people passing by. Instead, she keeps her eyes trailed to his nape, and she watches how the hair there is starting to get big enough so it curves softly. She spots the scar on his left cheek and thinks of how it came to be, and how it seems so fitting that it was there.

Jungkook fumbles with his lip piercing, still looking at the crowd below them. They all look so small from there. So distant. “Maybe I could help you find it,” he says as he turns his head to look at her.

He notices how her eyes were already on him. How that summer blush spread across the line of her cheeks and nose as if she had been the whole day under a scorching sun at the beach. “I would like that.”

He nods and the crinkles of his eyes start to appear. “Today after classes?”

“Deal.”

The rest of the free period is spent in comfortable silence. Both of them exist in each other’s presence, in wonder, basking in the sunlight. Enjoying the peacefulness of the breeze, and ignoring their surroundings. Caught not wanting that moment to end, but also anxiously waiting for the next encounter.

Kaya decided to accompany her brother and Namjoon to the library post lunch after receiving a notification from the system saying the literature teacher would be canceling classes that day.

The boys were supposedly in their sociology class, but the extensive course was normally divided into two hours—one for research and the other for debating. So while they came up with a grounded speech, the girl fumbled through books, settling to catch up on the subjects she would have for the rest of the day.

She was running her fingers through the numbers carved on the massive wood bookcase, eyes searching for the physics copy she needed, when she was laced by her hips and pulled to a dark corner.

“What are you doing?!” she whispered, desperately glancing around so as to not be caught.

Her captor didn’t pay much mind and kept kissing her neck. By now he was more than used to her apprehensive behavior. “My brother is right there!” she hissed again. On the tips of her toes, she tried with all her might to disentangle from the arms she loved so much. She just couldn’t be caught, and this was way too risky for her liking.

“He’s focused on the task at hand,” The boy said, laid back. “I doubt he’ll get up before cracking that book first. You know how he is.”

He pulled her closer, diving in for a kiss, sure that he had eased her mind just enough. To his misfortune, his lips were met with her hand. He tried again, playing it cool, but Kaya turned her head as she shoved him back. “Namjoon, please.”

He inhaled, as he rubbed his temples frustrated.

Namjoon had never been a pushy guy. And he had always taken Kaya’s concerns into consideration. That was why they had been dating secretly in the first place. Because to him, they would have already come clean to everyone—including Hoseok—a long time ago.

“Just tell me what you want Kaya,” he says plainly and she is taken aback.

“What do you mean?”

He sighs as the girl in front of him seems more preoccupied with checking around if anyone is listening to their conversation. More and more he felt tired of this. There was already too much on the table for them to be worried about.

Namjoon leans on the bookcase behind him, crossing his arms. “It’s been a while now since we last were together,” he says carefully and her eyes search for his. “Ever since Freya took the blame in our place, to be specific.”

“Ok…” she opts to say, as the words dissipate in her brain.

“No. It’s not ok.” he huffs annoyed. Kaya knows him too well, and the moment he clenches his jaw in a pout, swinging it back and forth, she realizes he’s been piling this up for too long. “You’re my girlfriend. Yet I can’t see you in public or in private. I can’t kiss you or touch you–We can’t even talk like this without you looking around as if you’re up to something you shouldn’t be up to!” he whispers hushedly, calling her out.

Kaya’s eyes are suddenly teary and the boy before her starts to get blurry. “But what can we do, it’s–”

“We could just be together.” his eyebrows knit almost pleading. He is certain that he loves her. And he is certain that she loves him too. What hurts the most is that it doesn’t seem enough. Not for him, or her.

Kaya starts shaking her head, eyes trailing on the wooden floor. She can’t deal with this right now. Not when her brother is mere meters away from finding the truth.

“Let’s not do this now.”

“Then when, Kaya?!” Namjoon can’t keep his cool anymore and she quickly covers his mouth to shush him. She looks apologetic at him, realizing how on edge she was being. He softly takes her hand out of the way. “I know these past couple of days have left us all walking on eggshells,” his voice sounds temperate again, the tone only loud enough for her to hear. “But I also think we can’t stop living our lives because of it.”

She closed her eyes with a sigh. Kaya knew Namjoon was more than right. She just needed her scale to pend to the other side instead. Right now, she still has a lot to lose. “I know, it’s just–”

The sound of a book dropping way closer to them than they thought possible, made both of their heads snap toward it, alarmed. Kaya’s breathing increased considerably and she froze on the spot. Namjoon looked around, and not seeing anyone in sight, he went toward the next row of bookcases.

There was a single book left on the ground, scrambled from the falling. He looked at the cover as he picked it up, but the title didn’t say much to him. Before returning it to its place, he looked around once more. Kaya came from behind, quite apprehensive. Looking at her eyes, he followed her frightful gaze. On the other end of the long corridor of books, sat at a table for four there was Momo, Mark, and Tzuyu. The latter, unlike her Sarx companions, wasn’t writing or reading. She had her eyes craved on Namjoon.

The Psykhe’s captain decided not to look too much, or read too much into the situation. He had to avoid looking suspicious. Recomposing himself, he put the book on the shelf once again and turned his back to Tzuyu’s prying eyes.

“Let’s go back–”

“She’s still looking,” Kaya whispered with concern. And before he could say anything else, she made rushed decisions for the both of them, “We’re stopping this for now. We can talk later.”

As she turned the corner leaving him no space for refutation, Namjoon couldn’t figure out if they were stopping the conversation or their relationship altogether. He had to swallow his frustration as he was well aware his back was still being stared at.

And who knew who else was paying close attention too…

Summer still lingered in the air as the students from class 104 dozed off to the sound of Mr. Perry’s soothing voice and the ceiling fans. Philosophy felt like a drag whenever the class was theoretical instead of practical.

Elena sat in the last row of desks, sharing one of them with an absent-minded Jungkook. She took notes from time to time just to keep herself busy and although throughout the first part of the class, she thought the boy beside her was doing the same, it became pretty clear that was not the case as she peeked to the side and saw a view from what she pegged being the Psykhe’s tower drawn on his notebook.

She whispered so only he could hear, “That looks amazing”, and he took his while perfecting the twinkling stars on his pitch-black sky before answering with a brief chuckle, “I try”.

The class continued irrespective of Elena’s admiration and Jungkook’s pencil lining. The room was a stage for a lazy symphony composed by Mr. Perry’s throat being cleared here and then and some bored sighs at the end. The time of the class helped the preposition to be lulled instead of trying to create a ruckus with chitchatting.

But then a notification sound reverberated alongside the teacher’s voice. Some heads, from owners that still had some stamina left, turned to the guilty one holding the phone. Elena’s included. The student apologized sheepishly doting a sheer of red on his face while turning off the device as if it had been a coincidental mistake. Mr. Perry was about to restart his explanation with an unbothered stance when the girl sat by Belle’s side, right at the front row seats, exclaimed reproachfully with her phone at hand.

Some students exchanged glances, and others paused what they were doing to look at her expectantly. “What is it, Vanessa?” someone asked from the back. The teacher tried to pay no mind going instead to write on the imponent board behind him.

Suddenly both Vanessa and Belle turn around and stare in Elena’s direction with pitiful eyes. The girl is taken aback by the gesture but tries to deflect them by looking back with a shrug.

“Holy shit…” one of the boys let out while scrolling his phone. Elena looks at him apprehensively, and Jungkook finally lifts his head peaking above the shoulder of his table mate to grasp the situation. While the constant noise of chalk being dragged on the board serves as background, the class starts to get restless. Phones are being pulled out of pockets to kill the famish curiosity pairing in the air. Elbows jerk and eyes turn inquiring toward her.

Elena panics and suddenly she knows. It’s You… Again.

She doesn’t take the time to check. Jolting out of her seat she grabs her purse and rushes toward the door, exiting it with a minor bang.

“Elena, wait up!” Jungkook has to sprint to catch up to the girl, ignoring the teacher’s warnings. The strap of his backpack hangs loosely from his right shoulder. “What happened?”

She faces him with teary eyes, lips in a pout, as she manages to say through a sob, “I’m fucked.”

The boy frowns. Not knowing what had caused her to be in such a state makes Jungkook panic a little. He had been a victim of Elena’s emotional side more than once but he was never alone to calm her down. “Let’s just take a deep breath.” He sounds more shaken than confident in the solution he was able to find.

The girl dismisses his words as she keeps on cursing under her breath, phone up to her ear. Jungkook keeps on hearing the faint recording of the call being directed to the voicemail.

“Should we go outside? Catch some fresh air?” Jungkook attempts again, this time even more uncertain.

The girl doesn’t give him an answer, instead hastening her pace towards the courtyard. Her focus is still on her device and through the corner of his eye, Jungkook can make out the messages app open as she types feverishly into a group called The Runaways. Jungkook recognized the photos of the other two members of the group–Freya and Kaya.

Taehyung had been the kind soul to explain the name to Jungkook once he heard Jin referring to the girls like that. His facial expression must have shown how confused he was by the nickname and so his peculiar roommate explained that the trio had tried to escape from Horus Academy one night during their first year there and got caught–of course. Kaya was a mess because of the two weeks of detention and Hoseok even added that she had palpitations from having to visit the dean’s office so soon after her arrival at the school.

The group was close, regardless of all of them being so different. And to Jungkook that was something that was sometimes revealed to be difficult to comprehend. They were good people, that he was sure. Despite all their quirks and inevitable penchant for secrets. No wonder he had fit so well.

“Was it You?” Jungkook finally dares to speak. They had already reached the courtyard and Elena had sat down at one of the picnic-style tables scattered around the place, her feet tapping on the bench rhythmically. The girl nods in response and Jungkook’s curiosity gets the best of him, “What did they say?”

Sighing, Elena shows the phone to the boy and the way he frowns as his eyes scan the text on the screen makes her realize that she’s in for a hell of a couple of days.

“Is–is it true?” Jungkook asks hesitantly. The second the words come out of his mouth he regrets it. His stomach is in a twirl and he would rather not know the truth.

“Of course, it is. Whoever that psycho is, they are deep into our lives and know all about our darkest secrets.” Elena speaks angrily. Jungkook’s question doesn’t bother her. He has been with the group for a while now and she trusts him. He has been loyal to them despite all the attacks they have been under since day one. Had she been in his shoes, she doesn’t know if she would stick with such a problematic crew. She always wondered why he stuck with them in the first place, and she had gotten close to asking him about it a few times, but Kaya cut it off after all her attempts, advising her to ‘not be rude and ask’.

“Yoongi was right–” Jungkook flops down next to Elena, finding a seat on the picnic table. His tone isn’t accusatory, like a parent reprimanding a child, but mostly hopeless. “We shouldn’t be poking the bear,” he looks her in the eye, seriously. “it’s going to poke back.”

Scoffing, Elena gets back up on her feet, hands finding a firm grip on her hips. “Of course, we should! We all got secrets, Kook, I know–” She glares at the boy, huffing as yet another tear rolls down her cheek, “We want them buried but I’m not going to sit here and let it hold such power over my life.”

“But–”

“This person is insane. What if they start blackmailing us? Pinning us against each other?” Jungkook shifts in his seat but the action passes unseen by the revolted girl. “Are you going to sit by and watch the house burn down?”

Eyes stuck to the floor, Jungkook finds comfort in analyzing his fingers. Elena’s words are marked on his brain as if she kept on asking the question over and over again. Pressing his lips together, he doesn’t manage to look her in the eye as he reaches the final verdict, “I–I don’t know Elena.”

“I know Yoongi was right. But fuck this.” Elena’s focus is back on her phone. “Jesus Christ why is no one picking up their phones!”

Relieved by the change of subject, Jungkook tries to uncover more of the newest secret You had revealed, “Are you trying to call your mom?”

“Heavens no. If she got word that we were being harassed she’d come down to the school and take me out of it. I would never see you guys again.” Elena laughs drily. “What about yours?”

Jungkook tilts his head, confused by the question. “What?”

“What would your parents do if they knew you were strapped to a tree for an entire night?” Jungkook hadn’t been a target of You yet–at least not directly–and so far, the Sarx folks were the most fitting candidates for the shoes of psycho.

Jungkook’s eyes are big as Elena sits down on the bench next to him. In an attempt to diverge from her stare, he takes out his notebook from his backpack. “You know–the same.”

Glancing at the girl lets him know she was analyzing his not-so-confident answer. “Do you want to see more?” Jungkook is quick to ask as he lands on the page he had earlier been drawing on. The Kardia girl’s eyes light up as her lips turn into a smile, pleased to have a distraction, “Yes, please.”

Word around Horus always traveled fast. But nothing could quite compare to bad news. With cell phones prohibited in class, it was astonishing how people had already begun whispering in the hallways about the latest rumor of the all-star group attending the boarding school.

The first period of the afternoon had barely ended when the courtyard where Elena and Jungkook were, began to fill quickly. The raven-haired boy was quick to find a distraction for the girl that made herself heedless of the preying eyes in an almost impeccable way.

“Damn…” The hand that rested on Elena’s shoulder had been what startled her but Jungkook was only aware of Jin’s presence when he made his voice heard. The Dianoia member was facing the opposite direction of the other two, back leaning against the table as he took a sip from his soda can.

Jungkook swiftly shifts on his seat, his legs standing on each side of the bench. He can now see Elena and Jin perfectly.

“Not that I thought you a straight record, but when you pulled a Regina George today on that psycho, I at least thought you were secret safe,” The expression on the oldest face says how incredulous yet disconcerted he is with the situation. He was in a complete mix of feelings.

“Excuse me?!” Jungkook notices how Elena’s eyebrows furrow and how her once relaxed demeanor is quick to leave her body.

“Don’t worry, I won’t say I told you so!” Jin reassures, lips wet from the last sip he took from his soda. He scootches closer toward Elena, casually crossing his legs while he still stands. “That will be Yoongi.”

“Oh, fuck off Jin.” The girl in turn stands up from the bench, now leaving an empty spot between the two boys. Her phone is quickly retrieved from her pocket and placed on her ear once more.

“You kinda did, though,” Jungkook whispers to Jin, lips pressed. “You kind of said it.”

Jin widens his eyes, distant, not really focusing anywhere. He then takes a last sip from the can in his hands, before spurring in Jungkook’s direction unable to suppress a nervous laughter.

“Who are you trying to reach?” The doe-eyed boy opts to ask Elena instead. She had been nervously pacing back and forth. Her thumb rests between her lips the whole time as she nibbles on its skin. “Maybe I can help?” He offers again.

The proposal sounds weak despite his best intentions, and as a consequence, he ends up being ignored by the other two.

In the distance, as he looks over to distract himself from the situation, Jungkook can make out a duo that skids through the increasing crowd. Taehyung and Jimin spurt toward their table, the latter’s hand already in the air, signaling his presence to the group.

“Hey, you okay?” Taehyung reaches the girl first, hands finding her shoulders as he looks her down, almost as if examining her physically. “Is it real?” He questions as his hands slide toward her neck and his thumbs gently force her chin up so he can scan her eyes.

“Of course it’s real.” The Kardia boy spats, passing by on his way to the vacant spot between Jungkook and Jin before Elena had a chance to answer. Taehyung sent a death stare to his back, biting on his tongue so as to not make the situation worse. The tension between the two best friends was so palpable even their algebra teacher had noticed that the pair was odd—as they used to spend the class playing games in each other’s notebooks or talking, now they avoided eye contact. It was impossible to deny that there was some unresolved business between the two.

“Jimin–” Elena is taken off by the sudden attack of her best friend but before she can continue, Taehyung cuts her off, unable to look past Jimin’s pretentious eyes as he sat down and stared back.

“Just because you tend to make shitty decisions it doesn’t mean everyone else follows the example so stop being–”.

“It’s not that ludicrous. It happened to me, too.” Jimin shrugs and Jin scoffs at the sudden outburst, somewhat entertained.

“Ludicrous? Huh,” He laughs. “Aren’t you a committed student...” Taehyung is quick to bark back.

Jimin’s eyes are filled with fire, but he decides that ignoring his best friend is a better response. "Why would you even do that?" He directs his words at Elena instead. "What dumb thought crossed your mind that made you think that it would be a good idea to go after You after what happened to me?"

"Dumb thought?! Was I supposed to just sit and watch this shit show?!" Hands anchored on her hips, Elena's focus is no longer on her phone.

Jimin laughs incredulously as he shakes his head and looks at the crowd. People kept staring at them, waiting for more drama to unfold. "Are you happy now that everyone is giving you the side eye?"

"You certainly seem to be." Elena pokes at his chest, index finger waving in accusation.

"Me?! I didn't even know you were going to do this. Let alone that you had this secret.” Jimin looks at her with accusatory eyes, and differently from Jin, Jungkook can’t help but think he should do something to stop the arguing. “Good job at being a best friend, by the way! If every best friend kept a secret like you we would all stand equally as strangers!”

“You-!” Elena lifted her finger once more but was gently pulled back by the boy behind her. Taehyung couldn’t care less if people were beginning to stop their own conversations to eavesdrop on theirs.

"Like you told me about yours?! Or any of us, for a matter of fact?" He is quick to jump back into the discussion.

"This isn't about me." Jimin stands his ground, clearly upset.

“Do you know where Namjoon is?” Jin shifts on his seat, his arm resting on the table as he supports his head in the palm of his hand, eyeing Jungkook directly. He seems too comfortable with the ruckus happening not even two feet from them. The youngest doesn’t even get a chance to answer before Jin continues in a tired voice, “We need Namjoon to make them hold hands again.”

“Hold… hands?” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. The concern he once felt completely dissipates, leaving space for confusion instead.

“I’ll tell you later.” Jin nods his head, reassuringly. “It’s just that Namjoon made them hold hands another time. When they fought, you know.”

“Oh, God!” Elena raises her voice, gaining the attention of the two whisperers and the other two bickerers. “Where is Kaya!”

“She shouldn’t take too long,” An out-of-breath Namjoon takes a seat where Jimin has previously sat by the picnic table. “I lost her and Hoseok in the crowd.”

“We have a dumpling situation again,” Jin comments, pointing at the two boys standing. “Make them hold hands, for the love of God, I can’t hear them anymore!” He complains nonchalantly. “Lucky me I don’t have a mirror otherwise I’d see for myself I aged ten years while I sat here listening to this crap.” The Psykhe’s leader can't help the chuckle that escapes his lips as Jin rambles as fast as a bullet. "First things first, what happened?" He exhales as he asks the group, now recomposed.

"Elena bossed up and went after the psycho and now the psycho went after her, but much more effectively." Jimin explains, and the girl in question glares at him.

Jungkook can’t help but rub his eyes frustrated. His right leg embraced a frenetic rhythm afraid the bickering would restart. “Not again…” He mumbles to himself.

Namjoon nods silently, glancing around to assert the gravity of the rumors. In his peripheral vision, he sees Elena ignoring Jimin, preferring to show attention to her cell phone instead. Taehyung looked at him expectantly but he was just as lost. He just couldn’t show it to his peers. Perhaps by being a leader he had picked up the habit, but something in his being told him it had to do with all those eyes prying at them instead. "It does nothing for us to be going at each other's throats…" Namjoon reasons with them, his voice low enough so only his friends could hear. He preferred to wait for the rest of the group to arrive before discussing their situation. He also prayed Yoongi or Hoseok would bring with them some sort of solution. Or at least help to calm the other’s down.

"Freya, where the hell are you?" Elena asks, visibly relieved when her call goes through. The boys all look at her awaiting the answer to her question. As she huffs and looks at some point past the courtyard, listening to what Freya was saying, she feels the urge to interrupt with a plea. “Run faster then,” she says, “I can see her already and she is ready to kill me. I just know, alright? Just run… Ha-! Well, because you don’t sound like running to me!”

The second Elena clicked on the red button to end the call, she realized Kaya had shortened the distance between them way too fast. Faster than she imagined, even if she was well aware her roommate was fuming. Hoseok stopped right behind his sister, panting from trying to helplessly keep up with her pace.

Namjoon got up from his seat instinctively, worried that neither Taehyung nor Jimin, who were standing by, could do something to stop the wrath of his girlfriend. “I just can’t believe you!” Kaya exclaimed. “Wasn’t it enough seeing Freya, Yoongi, and Jimin being targeted?! Why would you do something so reckless, Lena? For heaven's sake!”

Elena sighs, fingers massaging her temples as she turns her back on her roommate. “Not you, too.” she says, and both Jimin and Taehyung are struck by déjà vu.

“No, no, no! Don’t turn your back on me.” Kaya speaks through gritted teeth. “Don’t you even think that you will get away with this.”

The shortest one doesn’t hide her arched eyebrow as she turns around. “Last time I checked you weren’t my mom, Kaya,” she says decisively. It takes a good minute for her roommate to process her spiteful answer, and a longer one for the silence that broke amongst their peers who watched the exchange like statues.

“Just stop.” Hoseok cuts sharp as a knife. “It’s not the time to fight about who’s at fault here.” He glares at the both of them and as Elena mentions to speak up he continues, “I don’t care. I just want to know who the hell is behind this. Who could have this kind of information–All the freaking time!”

Namjoon feels the need to intervene as he looks around and all of them, besides Hoseok who had a desperate demeanor to his face, had their eyes trailed to the floor, hopeless. In a space between the harsh revelation of both secrets, they had gathered no information about their stalker or even a thread of where to start looking. They were completely in the dark. “Let’s wait for Freya and Yoongi–Who are just much part of this as Kaya has said. And then we can all sit together and make a timeline of events. We’re gonna find something–“ The leader tries.

For brief seconds Jungkook remembers how to breathe again, certain that this time Namjoon’s approach had worked out. It was visible how everyone collected themselves, pondering his words. He was right, after all, there was no point in arguing without everyone present. They would be just circling back and forth, wasting the little time they seemed to have. Even Jungkook, who was never the most patient one, could understand that.

Students begin passing by them quicker, seeing there was seemingly no secret conversation to overhear. To them, the all-star group looked like showcase dolls being exhibited in the courtyard.

“What did I say?” their heads move together as they hear Yoongi’s familiar voice. He circled the table with his arms crossed, making Jin scooch closer to Jungkook so he can sit on the bench as well. “I told you exactly how this would go down, didn’t I?” he says, looking disappointed but not at all surprised at Elena.

And it is enough, just like a snowflake is to trigger an avalanche.

“I will say it slow enough for you all to grasp it–Fuck. You.” Elena bursts. “It’s my secret.” she points to her chest with a wave of moved anger. “My choice.”

“Elena–”

The strawberry blonde one couldn’t find in herself the patience to listen to any of them anymore. The shock of the situation finally untied her naturally proactive self. “No!” she exclaims back. “I won’t shut up about it! Whoever this creep is, they deserve someone barking back.”

“HEY, hey!” Freya comes like a tornado. It’s clear that the girl had been running to get there as the sunglasses that are almost always securing her hair back is crooked to the left. Her locks are tousled. “Finally!” Namjoon gasps.

Freya places a hand on Elena’s shoulder as she comes closer, and it works like magic. The shortest one’s uproar quickly ceased. “Before we mess this up,” her voice is steady despite her rush, and commanding enough to make them all pay attention. “Let’s move this circus to a more private tent, alright.” Her over-expressive eyes pointed at the crowd beginning to surround them again. Some cell phones were being aimed like guns at them, ready to shoot and record the perfect evidence.

Kaya, different from the rest of the group who tried to discreetly look around, was too possessed to notice anything but what was happening between them. “Heavens! Stop trying to make us forget what this is all about!”

“I’m not the one that stops things from happening, Kaya. You got me confused.” Freya adverts. “Just get out of your head for a second and look around.” her eyebrows do the work this time as they shoot up. And for the Dianoian girl’s terror, she was the center of attention.

"Freya is right," Yoongi speaks tiredly. Not that he was bothered by the ridiculously noticeable glares of the other students. He had been used to being the freak everyone stared, pointed, and laughed at. But this You person had really started to get on his nerves by assuming they could get rid of them as easily as possible.

"Do you remember the spot of the last trial of the games?" Namjoon is already pulling the strap of his bag over his head as he speaks. He walks around the table, arm swinging around Hoseok's shoulder as he pushes him out of his ecstatic state and forces his feet to levitate from the ground. "Let's meet there in 10. All of us."

Namjoon leaves with Hoseok. Being the captain of Psykhe had thought him a thing or two as the whole group—even the ones that were from different houses—respected his words.

A stare-down happens between the two roommates, now not-so-seemingly best friends, and Freya stays right in the middle of them. The boys on the table don't dare to move. Until Elena lets out a dry chuckle, eyes rolling as she makes her way to the table to fetch her bag. "Will be seeing you all in… 8 minutes." Her sarcastic smile is directed at Yoongi, who sighs in response as he too gets up to go and try to get rid of the people who could possibly trail them.

"You better go somewhere else." Taehyung coldly speaks to Jimin before skipping after the Kardia girl that was about to quickly get lost in the crowd.

"What did I do?!" Jimin whines as he's about to be left alone by the table as Kaya storms by herself, and Jin seems to make his way to enter the main building again. "Jin–wait for me!"

Satisfied that everyone listened to Namjoon, making the rest of the students confused as to who they should follow, Freya pulls Jungkook by the hand toward the stadium. She wasn’t a fan of crowds. Passing by all those that were surrounding the courtyard—even if Horus Academy didn’t have that many students to begin with—felt like a nightmare. The grand stadium seemed the right choice as the structure was placed on the other side, they just had to cut through a grass path and some isolated trees.

Not a soul seemed to follow the two. Jungkook made sure to look back every time he heard a different noise that wasn’t his own feet clashing with the dirt ground or Freya’s. And as some distance was already put between them and the unpleasant moment they had just experienced, Jungkook cleared his throat. For the first time, he was bothered by Freya’s silence amidst this chaos. “This, uhm… It wasn’t what I had in mind when we said we’d be meeting each other after classes…”

The girl doesn’t slow her pacing, and neither does he, as they are still locking hands. “That’s because technically we’re still in classes. So this ain’t it.” She shrugs with a rapid smile.

Jungkook chuckles and keeps his eyes on the back of her head. She wasn’t being her carefree self, he could notice. He wondered while she lead him astray from the path to the stadium and down a small ravine through the woods if she seemed distant only due to her best friend being targeted. Again, her relationship with Yoongi crossed his mind. It seemed odd that he was the one holding hands with her and not her boyfriend.

He wondered if he was crossing a line. “Why isn’t Yoongi here?” he decided to give it a shot.

“What do you mean?” The girl seems more preoccupied to point to him where he can’t step in order not to fall than not falling herself. He holds her hand tighter as she slips once before replying, “It’s just that he went alone. And you’re here–with me.”

Freya’s eyes travel from the ground to his face and she halts her steps. They are right at the base of the ravine and the only thing they can hear is the whisper of the trees dancing in the wind. Jungkook nibbles on his lips as she eyes him without an answer. Suddenly his questioning seems rubbish to himself, his actions quite inappropriate and selfish, and the girl in front of him a dream within a dream.

She opens her mouth to reply with a prepared lie, but nothing comes out of it. Not even an excuse for him not knowing well the paths around school, or looking seemingly lost back at the courtyard. Would it be so bad to tell him the truth?, she thinks to herself. His fingers laced on hers seems the answer and the fire that ignites her bold decision. “Yoongi and I, we–”

Beep.

Their phones going off at the same time is enough to cut her sentence short. Their hands fall from each other as they grab the devices instead.

Jungkook’s eyes leave the screen first to check on the girl in front of him. She zooms in and out of the picture posted to check its veracity. As she glances up to see him, Freya is nothing but decided. Hints of anger flash in her irises. “We’re almost there. Are you up for a sprint?” she asks and he nods promptly. “Be careful with branches. They’re bitches for ankles–trust me.”

They run, succeeding in avoiding smaller rocks and the tree branches the girl advised him about. Both had been here before for the games, but this felt more urgent. More secretive. And by the nature of You’s recent posting, much more treacherous.

"I can't believe you." It’s the first thing they hear as they arrive panting. Everyone is already there, which confirms to Jungkook they had been the ones taking the longer route. Yoongi drops his bag on the floor. He's fuming. "I can't fucking believe you, Elena."

"Oh, and here he goes again." Elena mimics his actions, bag, and jacket dropping right by her feet as she places her hands on her hips. "Here comes Yoongi, on his high horse."

The boy in question chuckles. He rubs his forehead as he sighs, looking up at the treetops swinging, trying to choose wisely his next words. He didn’t want to start a fight, far from that. He knew their real enemy was clearly You, and whatever he did, he for sure wasn’t going to be compliant by serving exactly what that deranged wanted—them all fighting each other. "Just–What are you trying to do? I want to understand because it seems simple to me that this person isn’t one to be messed with" They now stand close to each other and both Taehyung and Jungkook feel the need to take a step forward.

"I told you–I'm not going to stand down." Elena simply shrugs. "We've been friends for how long now, Yoongi? …Is it really too much to ask you to back me up on this?"

It’s clear to them all how Yoongi ponders as he looks her in the eyes. "You're being selfish." Kaya spits. "You're just thinking about what you want."

Elena turns to her roommate with a scoff, "And you're not?"

"How am I selfish?!"

The look Elena gives her says enough to have both Namjoon and Freya on their toes. "Kaya…" The boy threads lightly. He has to stop himself, the craving of holding his girlfriend's hand driving him mad.

Jimin however is the one that moves, but away. He shakes his head as he goes to sit on a stem, looking defeated as he leans his forehead on his arms. Hoseok catches a glance at his roommate’s lack of spirit, deciding to intervene for him. "El, please. We've just been to hell and back with Jimin." He says harshly, as he leans against a tree with arms crossed. It was a rare sight to see Hoseok like that, and if the circumstances were other, the discussion would have ended with his word. But not everyone standing in that glade wanted to be picked at, and some had less to lose.

"She's not wrong…" Freya points out, unafraid to be looked upon by Hoseok’s hard judgment.

"Thank you!" Elena throws her hands up in the air, exasperated. Freya glares at her, clearly not finished with her point. Before some of them can revolt, she adds, "Lena is being reckless and she does need to calm down, but she did prove something."

"Oh, c'mon Freya, don't encourage this." Yoongi complains and Jin feels the need to add, “People, this isn’t Law and Order for you to be proving stuff!”

Freya unlike the others wasn’t carrying a backpack, but she did take her glasses off her head, dropping them on top of a pile of things that rested next to a tree trunk. Her hair fell in the process to frame her face. “Listen–” she began, hands coming to her sides to put them all at ease. "You posted real proof. They had the evidence ready to go. Just like that." She snaps her fingers to add to her case, “This seems somewhat already thought through, no? Or at least it has to be someone that is able to get this kind of thing–Documents and shit.”

Hoseok looked at Namjoon to confirm if he had to be worried or not, depending if the leader had bought the argument. The engines on his head worked speedily. "And that only makes everything worse," Jungkook says, breaking his silence.

"How so?" Namjoon is intrigued by the sudden intervention, and he is not the only one. Taehyung stares intently at their group’s novice expectant to finally hear his reasoning. Even Jimin looks up.

"For starters this person is insane,” Jungkook states blankly. He wasn’t used to reasoning things out loud, but all eyes were on him, pushing him to speak further. “They have already proved this to us… With Freya, Jimin… Yoongi’s thing that day at the games as well… And now this Elena thing–And honestly, it's bothering me how normally you're all treating this situation–"

"Normally?"

There is some confusion pairing in the air, some eyes trailed to the floor reflexive over the last weeks. But the novice tries to avoid those so as to not lose himself in his own argument. "How are you not afraid, El?" Jungkook's eyes widen as he looks at her instead. She doesn’t answer as her point of view differed tremendously, and he tilts his head unable to comprehend the coolness they exuded faced with such things. "I don't know about you guys but I never had something like this happening to me. I was tied to a tree by a bunch of psychos–who still study here by the way, and Tzuyu is even Freya’s roommate–And you guys keep on getting threats…? They found out about Jimin being with a teacher and–no offense, man–but the logic of this person is to share it online to intimidate us and here we are, making secret reunions in the middle of the woods."

Jin is the one to cut the silence by laughing nervously, "When you put it that way…" he adds, “No wonder we are being targeted.”

Jungkook’s eyes are still unable to search for anyone else’s as he adds. "I just think we shouldn't worry about figuring out who this person is or what they want. I think we just need to know how to get them the fuck away from us." His voice sounds defeated as his focus shifts to a rock poking on the ground. He leans his body forward and kicks it.

"One thing very much so implies the other, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news." Elena points out, and as soon as she does Taehyung gives her a reproachful look. She mouths him a questioning ‘what?’ in silence, as he shakes his head.

Freya doesn’t listen to the comment, however, as her feet work just as intently as her head by drawing patterns on the grass as she paces around. "It can't just be anyone…” she says, deep in thought, more to herself than the others. “It's someone smart, clearly… And they have a motive."

"Stop it, you two!” Kaya’s outburst makes her brother jolt surprised, leaning further away onto the tree to shore himself. “For heaven's sake, just stop!" she begs, frustrated. Jin is quicker than Namjoon to side-hug her, and the Psykhe’s leader inhales relieved as he sees Kaya burying her face onto Jin’s shoulder, returning the hug. “This is getting out of line.” Hoseok comments fed up. “Look at what they’re doing to us!” he gestures emphasizing their defeated postures.

"You're the ones allowing it." Elena shoots, crossing her arms.

Kaya turns into Jin’s embrace in a flash upon hearing her words. "What is your problem, Elena?!" she mentions to walk toward her roommate but Jin wraps one arm over her shoulder line, pinning her in place. Still, she points an accusatory finger at the Kardia girl. "You're going to end up putting everyone in the front line with how you’re handling this."

"It was one thing to play the rumor card at lunch but now…" Yoongi commented resigned as he closed his eyes. He too crossed his arms, and to the ones watching, he looked like basking in the sunlight that poured through the clearing as his face was tilted up. He opens his eyes and looks at the shortest girl before adding, "You just proved that everything they post is real. You showed that they are a credible source. You know that, right?"

"So what?” Taehyung questions. “Just because they have proof of Elena's doesn't mean the rest is true." he shrugs in discontent. "And besides, she hasn't implicated anyone but herself."

There is a sense of veracity in what he says, or better, how he says it, and the group goes calmer as they let his words sink in. Jimin is the only one that shows unconformity as he stands up with a scold plastered on his face. "Funny how when it's her, it doesn't matter, but then when it was my secret or Freya’s it was that big of a deal.”

Taehyung dismisses his remark with a simple side eye, and a scoff is heard before Elena adopts a sarcastic smile to her features "Are you seriously comparing being in a fucking deranged relationship to getting in an accident?"

“Okay let’s–” Namjoon tries.

"It wasn't just an accident. You were driving drunk, Elena." Kaya insists, untangling herself from Jin’s arm and retrieving her phone to showcase You’s report. "And according to this, I'm pretty sure your next stop was a stomach wash at the hospital."

"Are you serious?!" the hurt in Elena’s voice is able to be sensed a mile away.

"Am I wrong?"

The group has a second of stillness as no one can think of a better thing to say, or even how to proceed from there on. Freya looks from one girl to another, fearing they were stranding too far for a possible rescue. She can tell how frustrated and fearful Kaya is being, but she can also see how profound the embarrassment in Elena’s eyes is as she shifts her stares through the group. “You know what?” the strawberry blonde adds, “Fuck you, Kaya.”

"Am. I. Wrong?" Kaya keeps pushing with a clouded mind and the tallest of the three finally shouts a reprehensive ‘Hey!’ so as to break their flare.

With drained faces, they all seemed a little out of orbit. The group has had its fair share of disagreements before, that picnic table in the courtyard of Horus knew how many spiteful arguments Taehyung and Jimin shared. The halls of the school were tainted with bickering. But it never felt like they were standing with a cliff between them before. And the fall, Namjoon feared if he didn’t stop it, would be too decisive.

"That's more than enough." The leader spoke with bravado. "We came here to try and figure a solution out. This was not to go at each other’s throats!"

"No–Absolutely not. I’m not wasting time with this anymore.” Elena shakes her head, fed up. “I've had enough of your bullshit." She eyes Kaya as she speaks. "Always running around like you're Miss Perfect. I'm tired of this–I'm tired of you."

She walks toward the pile stacked by a tree, picking up her bag, resolute to walk away as Kaya replies. "If I’m the Miss Perfect for thinking of others before doing reckless things–Fine! Be it! I will rather be labeled as that than be labeled as a freaking selfish bitch."

Elena ties the sleeves of her jacket around her waist as she angrily rebuts, "Oh, don't you fucking worry, Kaya–your stupid little secret is safe!"

The shock on Kaya’s face is tremendous as she gulps down her anger faced with the threat. Both Freya and Jin feel the need to barricade whatever reaction she was about to have, as he places a hand on her shoulder and the girl grips at her arm. On the other end, Yoongi is about to stop Elena from leaving, as he is still firm about coming to a conclusion for this unexpected and needed reunion when they all hear the snap of a branch nearby.

No one says a word, as heads perk toward the sound and all pairs of eyes are busy scanning the foliage.

“There’s no way… Right?” Jungkook questions almost in a whisper and a chill runs through their spines. More silence follows, no one dares to say a word. And although no one is able to indeed spot someone in the woods, watching them, they know in their hearts—You was somehow there. “MhmHm.” Hoseok shakes his head, picking up his backpack. “I’m done here,” he adds, as he starts to make his way to leave, pulling Jimin alongside him and signaling Kaya to follow. Elena’s last statment about his sister awakening a paranoid distrust in the pit of his stomach.

In a matter of seconds, the group is scattered. They leave in pairs, trios, and some even wander alone, but none is able to shake the awful sensation of still being followed.

“I thought I might find you here…” Namjoon says as he approaches Kaya carefully. She had been skittish lately, especially with him, and much to his misfortune, the Psykhe’s captain couldn’t blame her even if he wanted to. Deep down he knew her reasons, even after their rocky encounter at the library. “I think–”

“Listen,” she interrupts him. Kaya fixes her position by the feet of the giant Gaia statue so she could stare at her boyfriend’s eyes properly. She had discovered that statue by chance due to venturing inside the maze, only a few students knew existed, in the gardens of the imponent boarding school. Lately, the girl felt perhaps, aside from her girlfriends, only she and Namjoon knew of its existence. “I know what you’re going to say. And I love you for caring but I really don’t need a lesson right now.”

The boy before her lows his eyes to the colorful crystal-clear pebbles adorning the floor, and opens a smile as he tucks his hands into his pockets and kicks softly one of the tiny rocks. “Seems I can still surprise you after all,” he says and looks up to see her reaction. “I actually came to say I get how you feel.”

As she looks suspiciously at him, he shrugs. “I get that just like me you know nothing about this ‘you’ persona and that all of us are scared.” he continued. “And I also get that you have a lot to lose in case your secret–Our secret comes out, and that is frightening.”

Kaya looks at her own hands, curled in her lap while weighing his words. He then takes the opportunity to take a few more steps toward her. “Not knowing what could be thrown at us is scary and I would definitely take a more…” he stops to think of the proper choice of word. “Cautious approach. But that is my style, my personality faced with danger. So is yours.”

Their eyes meet again and she takes force in his argument to let her anger out. “Exactly! So why–” Namjoon places a hand on her thigh, coming a little closer.

“That doesn’t mean everyone will behave identically when confronted with the same situation… I get you, and I get myself for thinking the way we think, but I also get Elena.”

Kaya scoffs, her anger still not subdued. She crosses her arms as she says “So much for saying you weren’t giving me a lecture.” and all Namjoon can do is laugh as he wraps his arms around her frame.

“And I’m not! I was just saying I get everyone for having the reactions they’re having at the moment. Was it a bit imprudent of Elena to go at that psycho? Yeah, a bit… But I get her. Some people run, some people hide, others much rather grab the bull by its horns.” he says and she gently leans her forehead on his chest. “Besides, we do need to take action. That thing in the clearing…? It happened at the library with us.”

As the girl inhales deeply, with her eyes closed, Namjoon caresses her hair with a soft touch he only knew how to invoke for her. In this sense of security, Kaya is brave and steady enough to uncross her arms and place them around his waist. She pulls him closer, compensating for all the time they stayed out of each other’s reach. “You’re like a very much-needed cup of tea,” she says diverging subjects and looking up at him. Her chin is now the one being pressed against his chest.

“Out of all things, a cup of tea?!”

The smile reaches her eyes as he exclaims indignantly. “It’s the only other thing besides you that manages to calm me down.” she says.

His eyebrows waver and she sees how he is pondering her statement. It’s in moments like this that she finds Namjoon precious. She knows he will find the beauty in her phrase and intent, and because of that, this moment will be significant forever. He will make sure of it, as he had done countless times before by sneaking little poems he had written himself inside her books.

“If that is the case… Alright. I’m good with being a cup of tea.” He muses, showing off his dimple. “Healing properties, right?”

“Tons!” she says, grabbing him by the collar of his tee and locking him in a kiss.

Freya liked the transition from afternoons to evenings the best. There was something calming about how the sun would set every day just as she would. With a big breath of hers, it was already hidden away again, all of the stress that burned her shoulders gone within those bright and scorching oranges against the deep sea of blue. At least until tomorrow came.

The Psykhe tower was the best place to watch it happening, but ever since she found out about the shocking truth of someone stalking her from there, she hadn’t felt comfortable hanging in her old spot. And because of that, she found herself taking a stroll around the school grounds, searching for her new safe haven. Only the sun knew how much she needed some peace and quiet away to drown her frustration after the recent events and their last meeting at the clearing. And Jungkook, after their shared encounter earlier on.

She had her headphones on, whispering soft melodies into her ear, and because of that, she didn’t take notice of someone walking behind her. She was really close to the borders of the woods, staying close by after having left the group’s rendezvous but opting to skip classes to uncloud her thoughts. When she looked up at the sky, the oranges began to fade, and all that golden light blind-sighted her. At this rate, she would lose the sunset.

Then a gulf of wind hit her face and a chill ran down her spine. A pair of hands came in contact with her shoulders and she shivered, remembering the last moments before she and her friends were scared away from the clearing.

Taking her headphones off in a hurry, she turned around startled. The sound of laughter invaded her ears before she could even meet the eyes of her jumpscare.

“Got ya!” the tall golden retriever-like boy exclaimed as soon as she came face to face with him.

“Mingyu!” she stressed. “For fucks sake, I almost died!”

The response she received was more whole hearty laughter and that eased her mood. She smiled seeing him have fun but something else clung to her heart.

Ever since the games, the both of them had grown slightly close. Every time they crossed paths around school, there was a smile there paired with brief hellos and sincere curiosity. By Monday morning a mutual invitation to be each other’s lab partners in one of the few classes they shared—chemistry.

Still, he wasn’t the laughter she sought to hear when all that orange was about to clash with the soon-to-be night sky.

“So what are you doing around here?” Freya asks and the brunette has to wipe his joyful tears to be able to answer.

“I was on my way to the dorms actually. Just got out of practice.”

Freya still couldn’t help but admire his genuine smile and how his freshly washed hair dropped some water droplets on his face. But at the same time, her head was dancing elsewhere. A few yards away, to be exact, where under an oak tree she had made a deal to meet after classes. The sun was setting, but she was still to hear from her free-period companion.

“I saw you walking by and decided to say hi.” Mingyu continued searching for her eyes.

“And that’s how you say hi?” she laughed.

“Next time I’ll try to be more… Charming about it.”

“Next time?” her eyebrow raised. She couldn’t say she ever paid attention to a guy from school before that year, or that she ever really liked a boy from there. Well, besides her friends of course. And that was mostly because she was afraid of things that required too much vulnerability on her side. And a tiny bit because no one had ever seemed worth the struggle she called trust. Did they genuinely like her, or did they just want the status? So the story unfolded naturally. There were too many eyes, and being a great wall to climb became a trait of personality she was too comfortable with to change.

Ever since she got unrightfully exposed, however, by sneaking into the boys' quarters, some freedom of choice was returned to her in that regard. No one was interested in knowing who the next guy in her love life would be. And so she perhaps was beginning to feel ready to come out of her shell. Both in love and new friendships. But the former wasn’t the risk she wanted to take when it came to Mingyu… Possibly if someone else hadn’t arrived in that department first.

He seemed to understand her line of thinking as his eyes got bigger and his expression turned sour. Suddenly he was apologizing.

“Oh–I’m so–So sorry!” he shook his head as if realizing what he had just done. “You have a boyfriend. I’m being disrespectful. I’m sorry.”

At first, she was confused. Boyfriend? She didn’t have one. That wasn’t her point at all. But then the recent events hit her like a truck and she had to inhale hard to get hold of the little patience she still had.

She liked Mingyu. She could tell they could be good friends, amazing even. So she took a leap of faith.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked. Freya didn’t have much to lose at this point, and she needed this. A safe space of her own.

Mingyu nodded attentively.

“Yoongi isn’t my boyfriend. We never even hooked up.”

She could see in Mingyu’s face how surprised he was. All the engines of his brain working to make sense of what she had just confessed. Freya was relieved, however, to finally get it out of her system. That someone knew the truth besides her and her girlfriends. That she was at least in control of that tiny little confession and somehow still free. She almost did it earlier on that day anyways.

“Why…?” the words fell off his lips, afraid to lengthen the subject in question. Freya offered an encouraging glance, waiting for his inquiry to be resumed. He got hold of what her eyes wanted to convey this time. “Why are you two pretending to date then?”

“I guess Yoongi knew how much bothered I would be by the amount of gossip even though I pretend I’m not… And he also knew people wouldn’t shut up about it until a name was given to the starving crowd. So why not his? Everyone already assumed we were together anyways.”

“I’m proud to say I’ve never thought that,” Mingyu confessed, raising his hand as a solemn promise. “I even argued otherwise.”

Freya chuckled, finding it endearing. “You would have been the only one then.”

The darkness of the night was already covering every nook of the school like a cloak when the group of friends received a text from Elena.

Nothing but three words. Classroom 202 now.

Receiving a text from the girl after what went down that afternoon seemed hard enough to conceive, let alone one so encrypted like that. And so, each and every one of them immediately stopped what they had been doing and rushed in secret through the marble tiles of the main building in search of the room she invited them in.

One by one they entered. Elena was already there, pacing back and forth when the first of them arrived—Taehyung. It was evident that she possessed some kind of information that she would much more like to be false thinking of her part. He didn’t need a second look at her to prove that.

Hoseok and Namjoon entered right after. Kaya was a few seconds behind them, and they all felt the same. Besides being afraid of possible detention for running through the halls so late at night, all sat in silence waiting, taking in the gravity of the situation by glancing into each other's eyes in the dark. And it didn’t get better as the more they waited, the more impatient and eerie they all got.

Elena still paced, cryptic. Sometimes she would look out the window or check the door for the ones missing. She would hear some of them whispering to each other questions she couldn’t lose time answering, nor had the patience since she was still hurt by their last meeting. At least not unless everyone was present.

And then Yoongi opened the door, everyone looked at him frightened and relieved at the same time. Some searched for something behind his back with their phones flashlights and that made him turn around to check the hallway. It was too dark.

“What?” he asked, spooked, searching for their eyes once again. His hand is still on the knob, keeping the door open, as he too turns on the light from his device.

Elena paces quickly in his direction, pulling him into the classroom and peeking outside to check if he was indeed alone. She closed the door rushedly. “Are you alone?”

“Yes,” Yoongi replied confused. “Shouldn’t I be?”

“We’re missing my sister,” Taehyung said, going toward the window alarmed. The only thing he could see through that darkness was the woods silhouette.

“Ok…?” Yoongi continued completely clueless, barely making sight of everyone present in the room due to the poor illumination. “What am I missing? We better have a fucking good reason to be out here.”

But no one replied. Or even attempted to.

Both girls looked at each other in a silent question about Freya’s whereabouts, putting their resentment aside momentarily. They reached the same conclusion with a hopeless shrug of shoulders. And Hoseok’s concerns didn’t help to lift the mood.

“You don’t think she was attacked like Joy… right? She wouldn’t…” As soon as he questioned it Jin slapped his arm with a hard stare and he shut up flustered. But the possibility taunted everyone present.

There was a pause. Time halted in that classroom. In a flash, Elena pulled her phone to text Freya in desperation, the faint flashlight from her mobile turned off in the process and the room got darker than it already was.

“I’ll go look” Jungkook offered, a dagger piercing his stomach for missing out on both his and Freya’s promise to spend the after classes period together. Right at the same time, Taehyung crossed the room to the door.

“C’mon…” Yoongi mumbled as he pressed his mobile closer to his ear, trying to call the girl in question. He had finally grasped the gravity of the situation.

Jimin and Kaya were by the big window, swiping the landscape beneath them inch by inch. A red bleep twinkled by the edge of the forest and Jimin leaned his nose against the cold glass to try and see it again. He squinted his eyes, but nothing appeared. When he was beginning to think his eyes were playing tricks on him, he got startled by the sound coming from the door. He turned back in a flash. As soon as Taehyung opened it to set foot outside he came to a halt. Jungkook consequently bumped into his back like a domino.

“Get inside!” They heard Freya’s hushed voice demand. “Turn that off. Now!”

Suddenly the room was engulfed in a deep blackness. The kind of dark that makes the hairs on your nape jump. The one that makes every fear you have come true. No one dared to whisper a word out. All they could do was search for each other’s shadows and listen closely for the haunting sound of thumping against the cold marble floors of the corridor.

A few minutes passed, maybe seconds when Yoongi lit his phone again. Time was hard to pinpoint when faced with the extreme nothingness of a total blackout. Soon, all convinced that the night guard had moved on from that section, they all turned the soft light of their screens back on again.

“Sorry–” Freya was the first to break the silence. “I was already outside… Had to go around that security.”

“Just. Please,” Kaya begged on edge, “Let’s get on with this–Whatever this is and go to our rooms. Please.”

In a silent agreement, all eyes turned to Elena.

The strawberry-blonde girl lifted up from the crouch she was previously hiding in and leaned on the teacher’s desk. The ones close to the floor followed, sitting by the empty wooden chairs in front of the class. Only Jungkook and Yoongi were up. One leaned by the wall and the other by the door to keep watch.

“I texted you all here because I think I figured it out,” Elena says, a bit taken aback by her own statement.

“What do you mean…?” Jimin inquires, and everyone looks as if the world would end. Because in fact, it was.

“I know who You is.”

next chapter.

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