#tagged for violence and stuff because uhhhh its hidan

[waffliesinyoface]

i think its extremely funny in naruto fanfiction whenever the author decides* to include a scene with hidan proselytizing, or extolling the virtues of jashinism. i love when he stops mid-rampage to try and explain his close and personal relationship with his god to his unfortunate captive audience.

*by "decides," i of course mean "they put hidan in the scene and were unable to prevent him from stealing the show"

"We have no reason to stay here. We fulfilled the client's request," Kakuzu ground out, the vein in his forehead throbbing angrily. "Stop messing around. Time is money-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up with that horseshit. If you wanna report to Leader so bad, you can head back without me. I'm fucking teaching here, asshole! These heathen shits don't know their ass from their elbows, what kind of priest would I be if I didn't offer them moral guidance?"

Kakuzu grunted in response, then gestured to the few remaining civilian stragglers. "And what, exactly, are you attempting to teach them. They're clearly already terrified. Just get on with it so we can leave."

Hidan stared at Kakuzu incredulously. "...the fuck? What kind of shitty ass school did you go to? They don't cover fear in ethics class," he scoffed.

Kakuzu stared at Hidan, his darkened and skull-patterned skin slick with blood, and watched as he began to slowly disembowel himself. "Ethics class." He paused, letting the unspoken question hanging in the air.

Nearby, the last of the village elders continued to bleed out, his screams having long since dissolved into pained gasps.

"Yeah, ethics class!" Hidan agreed, his eyes wild. Satisfied, he yanked the kunai out, and placed the tip directly on top of his sternum, above his heart. "After all," he said, grunting with exertion, "one of the core tenets of Jashinism is empathy."