#take numb. 2
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#alright#my friend was all#“what is this?”#“it looks like it was drawn by a 5 y.o”#“if you aren't going to do it well#don't bother at all“#“do it again”#“i hate it”#geez#thanks D#warmed my litte heart right up#it was just a palette cleanser D#it wasnt *supposed* to look real good#here you go again#take numb. 2#i guess#commander cody#star wars#sw fanart#the clone wars#tcw fanart#fanart#hope you're happy#because it's all you're getting#💖
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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Do you think solas knew about this? Or commanded it himself? This doesn't feel like his style.. I think he would find this tasteless.. I can't decide between overzealous followers or the most brutal version of solas that has to exist somewhere in his like millions of years of existence
#hes got a mean streak in him that could curdle milk but not ever plain cruelty#this feels like elgar'nan activities#where is the terrifying version of solas we see peeking thru occassionally who isnt necessarily reveling in cruelty just numb to it where#where is he#the dread wolf take you#i could make it scarier#datv#yap yap yap#solas#dragon age veilguard#ya kniw i think even the worst parts of him we have seen are season 2 rock grimes at best#where is season 5 rick grimes version of solas#i know it exists#is solas fragmented like mythal leT ME SEE THE MEAN ONE#honestly hes so mean already mean spirited and petty and violent#just soft spoken#i wanna hear him yell#not that gentle ass yell i wanna hear him snarl
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your dedication to seungmin is incredible I love that for you may you prosper and stay healthy ❤️❤️❤️
That's nice of you to say, thank you 🩷
#this ask is from hours ago but your timing is hilarious bc ive been in the most horrific mood all day#just sad and numb and annoyed and i decided to aggressively clean a bunch of stuff but i dont ever feel satisfaction from tasks like that#so then i went and slept for 2 hours till now and my lips are chapped so are u psychic.....#i just read this tags back and they sound so bad 😭 i mean like i have a case of the mondays and reading this after all that was nice and#it made me smile and i appreciate you for randomly taking time out of your day to be kind 🩷🩷🩷🩷#thank houuuuuuuu 🩷 if u ever want a moment giffed or somn hit me up
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“Hypocrite that you are…”
#art#my art#hylics#hylics 2#gibby hylics#lord gibby#hylics gibby#no matter what it looks like#he’s not taking the divorce well.#drown your sorrows in wine#just like you made him do.#when the shame is finally numb#do it again.#and again.#you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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my 17 year old dog died.
#its been raining these past 2 days. he was shivering bc he had no bed#i gave him one and made sure he was covered as well#i thought to bring him into my room but i cant because of my other dog#and now hes gone.#if you saw that monumental vent i posted. hes the one i begged my mom to take to the vet#and now its too late.#i dont know how to feel. i feel numb.#dextxt#tw pet death
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.
#Amazing how it takes a mere 2-3 business days to go from “I'm content. Doing alright” to “I think I could sleep forever”#i'll be okay I'm just depressed.#exhausted#i just need a break#i know the best thing for me is to get out of the house but I cannot muster#just want to curl up and do nothing and be numb
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brain: thinks
me: takes 300 damage
#mini vent bc boi am i having a tough time w myself lol#villain arc part 2 but now its part of the healing process so yay bc im not going insane just suffering in the name of sanity?#like i want to rip my ribcage open youkno just take it off#im feeling a lot and not numbing out this time like wtf is this!!!!!!!!!#you guys feel this shit when you FEEL and stuff???????#IS THIS WHAT FEELING FEELS LIKE#LIKE BURNING INSIDE OUT WHAT THE FUCC#IM GOING MAD I HATE THIS NUMB ME OUT AGAIN PLS#IM NOT COMPLAINING FOR NOT FEELING ANYMORE I SWEAR#;talking to the wall
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starting tonight i'm trialling life without hormones bc the double dose was truly just fucking up my shit. i cannot teach while nauseous and with a vague constant migraine
it's just not possible
#and she said i could stop taking them if i needed to#this is the official point where i need to#i suffered through months of numbness#and all this other shit just to shrink the cyst which we did!!#i'm not doing 2 more weeks of this specific shit#the pills aren't a sustainable long term thing for me anyways#bc of said numbness#she's gonna suggest the implants.... 😭
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YOU CAN HIT A TAG LIMIT??? My ramblings in the tags have been conquered and squashed by the 30 tag limit. How silly!
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#maybe??#ANYWAYS if i continue the story it wouldn't make much sense so i will wrap it up by saying#sleep deprivation isnt actually rhat bad and you really have to work to get bad symptoms#anyways on a totally unrelated note i have to take 2 to 4 times the amount of pain killers or sedatives for the to start impacting me#when my wisdom teeth were removed (rude! they are mine haha!) i was given 3 sedatives and full legal dose laughing gas and i was like.#just there. in the room chilling. they did local anesthetics and i remember that whole thing moreso than the average day!#even though the sedatives were supposedly supposed to make you forget or hazy?#anyways near the end of the surgery my dad is walking in the hallway and opens the door but before he fully came in i was like#“hey dad!!” and waved. but when you are supposed to lay still with your mouth held open by tools and filled with blood you are NOT#supposed to sit up and welcome people in. and because my face was covered it was by the sound of his shoes?#i dont reember that bit as much but my dad told me it after and when i went for the follow up the dentist said he'd never been#jumpscared in such a situation by someone who should've been conked out#after the surgery i got up and the dentist gave me my teeth in a small bag (i kept it as a test to see if my memory would get messed up#since how often does that happen?) and i just walked away. freaked out a bunch of people though and my parents lol#anyways it is a joke for some people i know that i am simply Built Different. i think i am just too silly to contain by mortal rules <-#i joke in a very silly way!! i am soso sleep deprived right now#dhould i be saying any of this? is my typing making sense? my fingers are numb and my brain feels three shades ourple from forest deep teal#time to sleowly pass out and time travel! farewell all ye who read this! i hope ye have wondrous days ahead of you and a lovely life!!!#@:P
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anxiety meds + anxious unexpected situations + one seltzer from a friend who came over hearing I was having a time + a few smoked bowls + whatever bs has been happening in my stomach the past few weeks = me throwing up in front of my friend for the second time in a week !!!!!!
#emeto irl#like idk man my limbs just feel really numb but really heavy#I just feel genuinely unsteady and it’s like yeah sure could be the weather#could be the cocktail of meds I already have in my body but I didn’t take too many like#they’re 1mg I took 2 that’s allowed#they’re like definitely not even in there anymore like do I take more#or
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sort of mentally checked out right now,, woke up yesterday feeling physically weak/shaky the way i've sometimes felt when sick. no other real symptoms other than loss of appetite, and the weakness/shakiness occasionally goes away, but it has me freaked out that i don't really know the cause of it
#its also made me too scared to start the zoloft meds cause like. what if it makes it worse??#ive had the meds sitting on a counter since wednesday. i dont really wanna take them#it didn't really feel this way when i was on the prozac + whatever the name of the one they put me on after prozac was#but nowadays when i look back on that time i can only think that it made me feel emotionally numb#and really i only said yes to being prescribed zoloft because my mom really wanted me to#idk. on the one hand i hope that if i do take it i'll get some major clarity moment where im like ''oh wow''#''i was definitely missing a Chemical That Makes Life Good''#but like the rest of me feels like i dont really need it. i feel better more than i dont- with the past 2 weeks being the exception#not to mention i already have stomach issues that im pretty sure were caused by the previous anti anxiety meds.#i dont want to make that worse#and idk. i feel like there's more reasons to not take it than reasons to take it#like. if it doesnt work. if it doesnt make me feel better then i'll have to go through the withdrawal brain zaps/jolts again#which i really dont wanna do that shit was annoying as fuck and majorly impacted my sleep#plus like. what if there IS a medical reason to why im feeling the way ive felt the past 2 weeks and it ISNT just anxiety#the way that me and my parents have been assuming?#and the zoloft just makes this medical thing worse??????#i dont know. worrying about that is probably a sign i SHOULD take the zoloft#but the thing is that like. its ONLY been these past two weeks that ive been having anxiety symptoms again.#ive gone SO LONG without having any sort of long term symptoms/anxiety like this#and idk. i feel like getting to talk to a therapist again would be significantly more helpful than just taking the meds#even the psychiatrist was like ''you should talk to a therapist and your doctor first'' and my mom was like#''we'll get to that later give her the meds now''#and idk. i honestly feel like adding the idea of taking new meds has just made this whole situation worse#i was honestly feeling a lot better and was almost over my anxiety symptoms before my mom told me she scheduled an appointment#with the psychiatrist#and now i just keep worrying about taking the meds#and i dont know what i should do#should i just take the meds like my mom wants me to and let the probably panic attack over worrying about the side effects happen???#or should i just. be firm and decide not to take them???#but what if they DO make me feel better the way the birth control did????
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siiiiiifh. ok we can't rely on edibles constantly but it's. they're Tempting. fjxjsjccnxkckckckc
#Stanford.txt#they Used to put us to sleep. keyword used to.#now we just.#get high for a frw hours and stop feeling Pain And Whatnot.#and we have an addictive personality. addiction runs in the family.#I don't KNOW if thc edibles are something you can get addicted to but we're scared tjat we're using them tok much??#they numb things. it's nice.#it's nice to not hurt. it's nice why can't we live like this#hhhh#i think we need to take 2 at a time and not one and then ankther sn hour later#idont frel mhch of anything. but amsybe the typos are a sign that it is working a bit idk.#yesterday was absolute shit i just want to be okay#edit: DISREGARD WHAT O JUST SAID THE WEED *IS* HAPPENING TO ME
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back to my og
nuhoney1hunnit —> reblobbed
#not that anyone will notice though#idk what this blog is anymore#i’m forcing myself to take a 2 week break from school/work and need some mind numbing#so might actually be on for a change
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Scared
#just venting for a min#im scared to get teeth pulled...#i gave a lot of bad cavities but theres only one dentist in any of the surrounding cities near me that take medicaid#but medicaid doesnt rly like paying for root canals and fillings so im gonna at least need this back tooth pulled#putting me at minus 3 teeth(i have 2 half teeth#and one pulled tooth)#so if i get another tooth pulled...#idk im scared i don't like anesthesia...#i dont like being put under and i dont like the numbing medicine....#it makes me throw up#so i mscared im so scared...
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